


Star Wars: A Red Dawn

by Chronicles_of_Scout



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Adventure & Romance, But it's slow, F/F, Kalex, Kara and Red Daughter are twins, Pretty slow, Slowish burn?, Star Wars AU, Still Angsty, background homophobia, but you know it's there, lots of floof, people die, romantic kalex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-27
Updated: 2020-07-12
Packaged: 2021-02-26 05:55:18
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 34
Words: 237,759
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21578713
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Chronicles_of_Scout/pseuds/Chronicles_of_Scout
Summary: Alex Danvers is a soldier in the rebel army.  She has one goal and that is to end the war that's been raging since before her birth.  No one knows how the Sith grew to such power, only that they've got support in the Senate that makes life pretty difficult for anyone who isn't falling to their knees for Machiavellian warriors.  Alex hates that.  So she keeps her head down and with the help of her pilot, Lucy Lane, uses gorilla tactics to take out key Sith players, hopeful that one day she'll have done enough damage that they can launch a full on assault.That is until she's thrown into the weirdest adventure of her life when she meets a rather talkative blonde alien and her short male friend who doesn't seem to want to interact with anything not a computer.  With the Galaxy itself at stake, Alex needs to decide how much she's willing to risk to save it.COMPLETED
Relationships: Alex Danvers/Kara Danvers, James "Jimmy" Olsen/Winn Schott Jr.
Comments: 333
Kudos: 464





	1. Resources/Setup

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So Timeline wise:
> 
> Start- Prophecy  
> 13 years later- Krypton is destroyed  
> 16 years later- Alex enters the story at 8  
> 17 years after that- Story begins wherein Alex would be twenty five and Kara would technically be 23.
> 
> The Ebon Hawk is from the SW:KOTOR games where the first few chapters draw inspo from. You don't have to have played to get it, but anyone who has will know the inside stuff. I modeled the Hawk after the Millenium Falcon and am pretty sure that it *is* the MF, but who knows? Not me. Anyway, you can find I actual diagram of the Falcon here: 
> 
> http://www.furiousfanboys.com/a-complete-schematic-of-the-millennium-falcon/
> 
> I built onto it but the sciencey stuff remains.
> 
> If you need a map of the Star Wars Galaxy: http://www.swgalaxymap.com/
> 
> And per ranking of Rebel characters, I'll give you the mains.
> 
> All council members are Generals (Leia's rank) unless stated otherwise.  
> Alex is a commander but a special case, she gave up most of her command but is so damn efficient that she kept the title.  
> Lucy is a Major  
> Maggie is a Captain  
> Ranks are: General "trumps" > Colonel> Commander> Major > Captain >Lieutenant
> 
> I think that's it? Consider this the resources page like they did in the fantasy books of old. :)


	2. Prologue: If the sky comes falling down

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It begins...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi friends,
> 
> So a few things, this story has been a long time coming and I've fluttered back and forth on like a lot, but it's finally almost done. Like, I'm on chapter 25 and plotting out the finale which I anticipate to be around 3 chapters or so. There will be very few, if any, long chapters. Mostly for my editing sanity, but they hover at around 6k per chapter so it's still respectable.
> 
> This is 100% a star wars AU in that it takes place in the Star Wars universe. Don't ask me what time, I originally had it placed at round Episode 3, but that would have locked me into certain events and I wanted something more flexible. Hence, I did away with the Star Wars timelines and most of the backdrops and kept the planets, politics, and most of the names. No major characters from Star Wars make an appearance in this for the same reason, but a lot of the alien races do so there's that.
> 
> I'm back on song titles for this so this chapter's title is from Hey Brother by... I think Avicii.
> 
> Also, none of this is beta'd. Like none of it. So if something is wrong or not story accurate from the last chapters, let me know and I'll check it. Otherwise... sorry?
> 
> Ok, lets get to the prologue.

** Planet- Wintu; Night **

The breeze feels cool against her skin, bringing the sharp chill of the beginnings of winter.Images dance behind her eyes, the blue essence of the cosmic flowing through her and whispering its secrets.Its warnings.

A sharp pressure at her shoulder startles her back to reality and to her padawan, a young Amazonian named Diana.

“Master… what is it?”The girl’s voice bleeds her concern and Antiope has to close her eyes to regain her focus.

She listens again, forces her meditative state to stretch well past its bounds before collapsing into Diana’s wiry arms.The girl will be strong one day, more than strong enough to hold Antiope up, but will she be enough to stop what’s coming?

Will anyone?

“Master?”Diana prompts, shaking her gently and holding up a flask of water.

Antiope accepts it, taking steady sips even though her body craves more.It’s important, this close out of a session, that she does not lose herself in greed.She’s still too connected to the Force.

“Diana,” she squeezes her padawan’s hand, waiting for the girl to make eyes contact, “I need you to fetch a pen and paper.Quickly.”

Amazon’s are an ancient race branched off from the creators of old, evolved to grow and prosper where their ancestors had not.They are strong, lethal, and have amazing recall.Unfortunately, Antiope is not quite as young as she once was and, as she ages, her contact with the Force is more fleeting.Not diminished per se, just more fragile.Harder to hold on to.

Even now the whispers threaten to fade, and she holds on stubbornly.

Diana returns with the acquired materials in short order and Antiope tries not to slouch too heavily as she recites what she’s learned.The young girl can be a bit of a worrier.

“There will be two children born of the same seed—”

“Twins?”Diana asks without looking up, pen scratching against paper.

“Write what I say.”Antiope scolds gently.

“Right.”Diana grimaces.“Two children born of the same seed?”

“One will be… unremarkable… a life of solitude… a silent soldier…”A nomad, Antiope wants to say but doesn’t.It’s not for her to interpret the Force to her understanding but to try to understand what the Force has interpreted for her.“The other will be a force for the dark side.Through her they will gain victory.It will be up to the paladin to sever the connection and return balance to the Force.”

“She?”

“Girls.”Antiope concedes, a hint of melancholy creeping into her voice at the thought of the children whose lives were to be ruined.“Twin girls.One will be the weapon of the dark side, the other its destruction.”

She tries not to let the images of what will happen if the latter succeeds overwhelm her.It wouldn’t do to dwell on things that have not yet come to pass.

Diana’s voice, strong and determined, pulls her from her spiral and she breathes deeply to center herself.

“I will help them.”

Antiope doesn’t respond for several moments, her gaze on the stars and a planet far away.In a few years the baby girls who have just come out of a birthing chamber will be separated and the carnage will begin.She sees Diana as an adult, she doesn’t know when or where, but she sees her.Her padawan and niece by blood, too much a part of her to be able to discern any real information from the future.

Other than the fact that she dies.

She fails.

“Yes,” she admits, “yes, you will.”

~*~

** 13 Years Later **

** Planet- Krypton: Day **

Alura runs, hard and fast, dodging screaming people and soldiers while the world burns around her.It is times like these that she truly misses her sister; Astra had always been the more athletic of the two.She would have been able to outrun all of these intruders.Alas, Alura has never spent a day without her nose in a book.Keeping up with her cardio exercises was the last thing on her mind.

She huffs as she skids into a wall, the cracked pavement beneath her feet tripping her and sending her flying into the marble structure.Her shoulder feels like someone split it in two, but she can’t stop.

She can’t.

By the time she gets to the records room, she’s fairly certain that Krypton is passed salvation.Not that they’d ever really had a chance anyway.Protecting their planet’s core had been the primary goal for the past decade, ever since Astra had discovered that certain members of the Science Guild were hiding its eventual combustion.

It had taken years of hard work and planning but eventually, they had managed to stabilize what they had nearly irreparably damaged.

Looking back on it now, self-harm was much easier to deal with than this… _blatant_ attack.

The Sith were known to be cruel, but creating a weapon that could reach the very core of a planet?

It was lunacy.

And more than that impossible.There was nothing in the galaxy strong enough to manipulate a planet’s core.

Records filter before her eyes, compiling rapidly as she gathers every ounce of information she can on the El family tree.It’s exabytes of data, every recorded event from every family memory that ever existed for the El line… and the Ze line.

When the computer is done, she wipes it all clean.Every record of every family member that ever existed for her houses, destroyed.

Then she requests the physical data crystal be brought to her.

Every family has their own data crystal, housed in the hall of records for the perusal of the race.Most records are locked to only family members, but there are some public ones.Data erasure is all well and good, but Alura is married to one of the finest scientific minds in the Galaxy.Her daughter Kara will be the youngest member ever offered a spot in the Science Guild—Would have been.

That dream is done now.

Heat erupts in her shoulder, and she doesn’t even have time to scream before the Sith are upon her.

“Kalex!”Alura has been taught to never raise her voice; its rude and unattractive.Now she shouts for the world to hear her.“Burn it to the ground!”

The Kryptonian droid, programmed to fulfill every desire of the El household, zooms over to the crystals and lights them on fire, spraying the combustible fluid over the guards attacking Alura for good measure.The entire hall is consumed by flames in minutes, flames designed specifically to destroy crystal.

Lunacy.

Every record of every family.

Gone.

Alura holds tight to her rage to keep the tears at the loss of her history at bay.It won’t matter, she tells herself as the story of her people is engulfed in flames, when Krypton is destroyed the archives will be lost as well.

Surprisingly, the mass amounts of flames and unbearable heat do not send the Sith soldiers fleeing.They grit their teeth against the pain and imminent death and force Alura to her knees.A purplish man, their leader Alura presumes, steps through the flames as if they don’t even exist.He has a heavily scarred face covered by a silver helmet along his jawline, his lean body wrapped in armor and blood.Where his eyes should be are only an infinity of inky blackness and a red dot in either socket. The stench of death is so thick on his person that Alura can smell it through flame and distance.It looks like he is being kept alive with nothing but his own stubborn will, yet he moves as if he is whole.

It's disconcerting.

Alura has always loved to read, has always found joy in both fiction and nonfiction stories and articles.This… could not have come from _anyone’s_ imagination.This is unnatural.And it’s hunting _her daughters._

“That, was very foolish.”The man murmurs, ignoring Alura’s coughing and gagging as the smoke fills her lungs.The skin on the left side of his face stretches, healing over a gaping wound that had been oozing blood mere moments before.“Why did you do that?”

“Whatever you’re looking for is _not_ here.You’ve destroyed everything, what was one record’s room?”

“My dear, the fact that you fought so ardently to have them destroyed means you know _exactly_ why I am here.It also means that they are not on this pitiful planet.It means that you believe there is _hope_.”He says the last word like a curse.Like Alura should be ashamed for even entertaining the idea.

“You’ll never find them.”Alura snarls, sweat and tears dripping down her face.“They’ll be safe.”

“That is, fortunately, wholly untrue.”His hand raises and Alura screams her fury, her captors surprised enough that she manages to get to her feet before the Sith Lord— because she can now see that that is exactly what he is— clenches his fist.

Her second to last thought is of her daughters, both far away from here and both in danger.

She wishes she had been able to do more.

Her last thought is of her sister, Astra, and contains a small prayer that her twin finds her girls and keeps them safe.

~*~

** Sixteen Years Later **

** Planet: Coruscant **

“Fifty credits.”

“One hundred.”

“She’s not—” The man broke off, glanced at the girl next to him and turned back to the Duros Trader he was haggling with.He lowers his voice, leaning in closer to minimize the risk of being overheard.“No one pays that much for a slave.”

While the two men continue to argue, the child keeps watch, glancing in every direction from under the cover of her dirty bangs.It’s not the first time someone has haggled for her.Children were the obvious choice when choosing a slave.Ever since she could remember, she’d been propped up as a paragon of a ‘hard worker’.Strong they called her.Easy to mold.

It gets tiring to hear after a while.She’s already calculated that she’s about 8 years old and unfortunately, her vocabulary has outgrown those of her would be Masters.If she were so inclined to remember such a thing, she would have even given herself a name.Something other than ‘human’, ‘thing’, or ‘it’.

Turning away from the conversation gives her a sense of peace; she’s learned, even at this young age, that focusing on your fear only led to more fear.And as much as she despises the Duros that currently holds her life, she has also learned that there are far worse places that she can end up.She doesn’t know the man that wants to buy her, only knows what she can see.That he’s tall, muscular, and human.His hair is black and his eyes are blue and his baggy clothing and hood make him look like someone who doesn’t want to be seen.

Which is silly.If one doesn’t want to be seen than one should not _look_ like one does not want to be seen.

She’d learned that too.

This man would make a poor thief.

Instead she chooses to take in her surroundings.The alley she’s currently calling home is full of people, multiple species all wrangling over their wares.She spots a few street urchins ducking in out of the smoke and tents, stealing what they can and running into the sewers.The time where she wished she could join them has long since passed.

“You pay the credits, or you leave.”Her master leans in, his large golden eyes disappearing momentarily behind bilateral lids.It’s of little consequence to her and so she averts her gaze again, and subsequently her nose, from the growing tempers.“If you refuse, I tell those Republic soldiers who you _really_ are.”

The man grits his teeth, glances at the girl, and snatches up his coin purse.

“E chu ta.”Her master spits in the spot the man had just been, grumbling under his breath.The child remains, kneeling behind the table of assorted junk he’d been trying to sell.It’s not a shock when the hand connects with the side of her head, but she’s still not quite strong enough to keep herself upright.“Get off your ass!It’s getting late, we need to close up human.”

Wiping the dirt from her face, the child manages to roll onto her knees before everything goes to hell.The shops across the aisle are blown up, obliterated in seconds, and the fire sends heat flaring across the cold alley.Small arms do little to offer protection, but in her next breath she is being grabbed around her waist and hefted into the air.

It's a move her master is _not_ happy with, if his angry yelling is anything to go by.

The world passes in a blur of jostled scenery; of flame, smoke, and blaster fire.She chokes on the fumes, the strong arm around her torso putting pressure on her diaphragm and making her struggle.She doesn’t want to die.

She doesn’t want to go back but she doesn’t want to die.

She’s crying earnestly by the time she falls, the man’s arms slackening and dropping her to the ground.They’re off and running again in moments, the man firing wildly behind him.He keeps a tight hold on her hand, dragging her behind him when she stumbles and making her arm feel like it will fall off.

“Jeremiah!”The man takes a sharp turn, a tall green alien in a black and purple unitard joining in their getaway.“Ship’s there.We just need to—”

The yelling increases behind them, as do the blaster shots, and Alex sees blood explode out of Jeremiah’s shoulder.The alien spins, shooting behind them with both blaster and laser like beams that come from their _eyes._ The man, Jeremiah, sobs but doesn’t stop.Continuing to run in a haphazard pattern down the sloping aisle.By the time the alien rejoins them, their pursuers have fallen back aways and Jeremiah looks like he is liable to pass out.

The alien offers no sympathy, only direction and soon they are boarding an old freighter ship that looks like its seen better days.The alien leaps into the cockpit, flicking switches.Jeremiah gently steers the child towards a seat, strapping her in as carefully as he can.

“Your name is Alexandra Danvers.” He says, voice thick with tears and pain.“I’m your father Jeremiah; your mother Eliza is on Yavin 4 with the Resistance.It’s a moon where you will never have to be a slave again.”He grips the back of her head, shaking his own while pulling her close until they’re at eye level.“You are loved deeply.You are _not_ a slave or an object.They stole you from us and I tried—”

A loud sputter shakes the ship, the beams creaking dangerously.

“Shit.”The alien from before says, scrambling out of her seat and down a corridor.“The fucking thrusters are busted!”

“Can you get them back on?”Jeremiah asks, eyes blown wide and looking out the ship’s windows.Alex, there’s no way she’s going to be called _Alexandra_ , looks too, the men who had been chasing them are now in sight.

And they have guns.

Big ones.

A blaster canon shakes the ship again and there’s more cursing; more creaking; more yelling.

Alex claps her hands over her ears and clenches her eyes shut and tunes it all out.

She’s gotten really good at tuning things out.She can make believe this doesn’t exist; that she’s not here right now.Before, when her masters would get angry, she’d imagine she was on a planet full of children just like her who had escaped and made their own rules.They would eat whatever they wanted, whenever they wanted.They could sleep when they wanted and on the fluffiest mattresses in the Galaxy.Like clouds.

There’d be all the chocolate ice cream anyone could want.

But no beatings.

No rationing.

No dying.

Large hands grip the side of her head, prying her hands away from her ears.There’s the near foreign sensation of a kiss being placed on her forehead, prolonged and wet with tears.

“I love you, Alex.Your father loved you with everything he was.”

“I don’t want to die.”Alex whispers, mouth trembling.“I don’t want anybody to die.”

Jeremiah shakes his head, “you aren’t going to die.Not here, not today.”He smiles kindly and it’s such a change of pace that it helps Alex tune out the rest of it.Grounds her to this moment.“You have nothing to be afraid of my love; demons run, when a good man goes to war.”He squeezes gently, giving her another kiss before chucking her under the chin.“You’ve got this Alex.Be brave for me.”

Alex is scared and crying; her body hurts and her vision is blurry but she doesn’t think she’ll ever forget the way Jeremiah rises to his feet.

Presses a button on the wall that opens the hatch.

Stalks off the ship with nothing but a blaster rifle in either hand.

The hatch rises behind him, and the ship is once again dulled to the noise outside, only the sounds of the shots that actually hit the ship coming through.

A loud whirring brings the green alien back and it only takes her a few seconds to realize what’s happened.She curses again, hesitates at the hatch before sprinting headlong at the cockpit.

The next thing Alex knows, they’re in space and Jeremiah is gone.

They’d left him.

The alien eventually comes back to the passenger bay, dropping into a squat in front of Alex, wrists dangling off her knees.She looks exhausted, her coned head drooping slightly and clear tear tracks on her cheeks.Her eyes are inky black pools with flecks of light that remind Alex of the stars trapped in the night sky.With all the bad happening around her, she latches onto that one piece of good.She’d always liked the stars.

“Hello youngling.”

Sniffling Alex nods, “hello.”

The alien smiles and gently wipes at Alex’s cheeks with one of her long fingers.

“I am M’gann; you must not fear me.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bah dum.
> 
> I don't know why I have a thing for killing Alura like this... I didn't mean to... it just happened.
> 
> And for the record, Jeremiah really died this time. Originally he did not but then my brain hurt with the twister move it tried to pull so I pivoted to something else. He's dead.
> 
> Timeline wise, Alex will physically be two years older than Kara... I hope I did that math right.
> 
> I don't know my schedule atm since... life, but I plan on releasing every week. As my schedule and head allow. No promises but I am hoping to get this to you a lot faster than I did the YWLM series. I'll probably have Chapter 1 out by the weekend though since I decided to just fuck off work this week.
> 
> Anyway, I hope you enjoyed that little snip. Let me know your thoughts. :)
> 
> ~Chronicles


	3. Ch 1: I was doing just fine before I met you

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Now an adult soldier in the Rebel army, Alex is tasked with stealing critical intel for the rebellion.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another thing to note, we're going to be blending a lot of comic and television show lore. And head canon cause I can no longer keep track of what's real and what's not real anymore. But it's ok, Alice says that all the best people are mad. :)
> 
> I'd also like to note that this chapter, and almost every chapter actually, has some fighting. Pretty sure I put that in the tags but just in case. It's not crazy or anything but it's there. Enjoy.
> 
> Song: Closer- by I think the Chainsmokers.
> 
> I only own the plot

Maggie has an obvious thing for aliens.Alex has known this for almost twenty years now, her mostly-a-friend having frequented many a Cantina in the hopes of bedding a new species.

It only got grosser as time went on.

Watching the Twi’lek dancer on stage, the way the purple toned hips move in scintillating circles… Alex can’t say she doesn’t at least understand the appeal.It’s not something she herself is into, but she also can’t deny that the way the dancer is moving is distracting.

Which she supposes is the point.With the way the galaxy has gone to shit in a casket, the business of distraction, i.e. sex, has been booming.No one wanted to pay attention to what was happening around them because they were powerless to stop it.And if they were powerless to stop it, they may as well enjoy the ruins while they could.

Alex wasn’t powerless and she would not be distracted.Especially not by a Twi’lek that was so clearly a Legion spy although to be fair, everyone on this damn planet was probably a Legion spy.Anything to get ahead.

A beer mug is set down heavily in front of her, a dark-haired woman taking the seat that had previously been unoccupied.

“I can get her for you if you want,” Maggie says saucily, eyes alight with her usual mischief.“All you need to do is say the word kid.”

Maggie is dressed as usual in a tan leather jacket, and tan pants, the bottoms of which were tucked into her combat boots.Once a soldier, always a soldier.Although Alex can’t say she’s any better.Her attire is similar except in black.Lots of black.

When they had first met, doing their mandatory round in the Fleet, the war had been in one of its many lulls.Back then the Sith Legion had control of the outer planets but hadn’t made it to Tatooine yet.As such, they’d had a pretty uneventful stint and had spent most of their down time getting into lots of trouble.Or Maggie had gotten into trouble; Alex had been the one getting her out of said trouble.

Lucy had been the one who got them _both_ out of the brig.

Maggie got her ass beat; Alex made her an adrenaline shot that improved her accuracy, strength, and endurance for about 20 minutes.

Maggie needed an escape from her latest hookup; Alex stole a swoop bike to get them gone.

Maggie and Alex both got caught fighting another unit; Lucy pled their case before the council.

They had a system.

“I’m not a kid.”Alex doesn’t take her eyes off of the Twi’lek, it’s been working well as a cover to her true attentions.The Mandalorian in the corner booth.Possible bounty hunter.Given her current mission, it would come as no surprise if he were here for her.

She really hoped she wouldn’t have to put him down however; she was aware enough to know that her head fetched a pretty price on the black market.And the Sith Market.

She’d made more than her fair share of enemies since she’d joined the war efforts.Something Eliza Danvers wouldn’t stop nagging her about.The woman seemed to forget where she’d missed the part of Alex’s life that Alex had _needed_ a mom.She didn’t anymore.Eliza had missed her chance.

Besides with the way the war was going, Eliza would have her pick of needy orphans to adopt.Kids that would make her happier than Alex ever could.

Maggie makes a noise of protest.“Adults have sexually fulfilling lives; you’re so lost in your dreams of true love that _you_ do not.Hence kid.”

“Sex does not make you an adult.You are a perfect example of that.”

Her friend chokes on her beer and guffaws, shoving Alex’s shoulder playfully.

“Well played.”She leans in close, her breath hot on Alex’s ear and fingers trailing up Alex’s thigh.“What do you say we get out of here **kid**?Find someplace quieter?”

Her gut reaction is to frown, to question.However, Maggie’s never made a move on her and it would be weird for her to start now.Something about Alex being too inexperienced for her liking.In reality, it’s because Alex has no interest in relationships and she’s pretty sure she’s straight even if she were.Maggie may have clued her into the fact that it was ok to like girls, but Alex hasn’t yet met one that grabs her attention.And fooling around with guys is kind of boring at this point since they require more attention then they’re worth.

So, since Alex has obviously chosen the life of a hermit, either this isn’t Maggie or Alex has been made.

When she leans back enough to see the other woman’s eyes, loaded with seriousness despite the smirk still on her mouth, she knows it’s the latter.

Pushing her own smile onto her face, Alex chugs the rest of her beer before standing unsteadily and offering her arm.Maggie takes it easily, pressing a kiss to the corner of Alex’s mouth before dropping her hand to Alex’s and pulling her out of the Cantina.

They walk and giggle for about a minute before Maggie pulls her down an alley, shoving Alex against the wall and ducking her head in close.To an outsider, it will look like they’re making out.To Alex, she’s just grateful Maggie never cuts her hair.

“Two mercs at the top of the alley, one on the roof.”Maggie whispers, tugging Alex’s ear between her lips.“What kind of trouble are you in this time?”

Alex fights another scowl, choosing instead to giggle like a schoolgirl and tug on Maggie’s hair in retaliation.“I’m never in trouble.”She glances at the people Maggie has made and begrudgingly grumbles, “until now.”

The hum against the side of her neck catches her off guard and she shivers.Luckily, Maggie doesn’t laugh at her.Alex would have hit her very hard and given up the game.

“Where’s your ship?”

“You know I can’t tell you that.”

Maggie brings her head up, running her nose along Alex’s cheek.“We don’t have time for this.”

“That’s your problem,” Alex whispers back, tugging Maggie’s hips close before releasing her and sauntering back out the alley.“Always in a rush.”

The glower Maggie sends her way, makes the act a little easier, allows her laugh to be just a bit more genuine.The mercs follow them, two Gands on the ground and a human on the roof.

This was almost unfair.

Stumbling into a few stalls while pretending to try to get Maggie back to some nonexistent room gives her enough time to pinch some supplies.

She’s just drawn Maggie into a kiss, a real kiss that makes the brunette tense and then surge into her, before she breaks and runs away laughing.It’s weird and not real at all but it’s what these idiots expect of women.She runs right into the Gands, surprise, surprise.Their heavy woolen cloaks rough beneath her hands as she fumbles her way past them.

Two quick hand movements and she’s stumbling further away, with even more apologies, the vinegar she’d filched from the grocer stand oddly absent from her person.Maggie grabs her and she spins into the other woman’s arms, her wrist flashing as she finally allows her false act to stop.The body on the roof crumbles, Alex’s dagger embedded in its eye.

Maggie sighs.

“One day, you’re going to get in more trouble than you can get yourself out of kid.”

The Gands writhe on the floor, attracting the attention of the Sith patrol as the women slip away unnoticed.Gands were notorious for wearing face masks to give them the ammonia they needed to survive.Chem 101: acetic acid breaks down ammonia.Poor bastards.

“I’d rather get myself in trouble than sit idly by and do nothing.”Alex argues, glancing at the Cantina as she exits the quadrant.If she really had been made, going back would be a suicide mission.As much as she wants the Rebels to win this war, she’s not dumb enough to blow a mission on something noncritical.She can find a new lookout spot if needed but truth is, she’d come for Maggie anyway.

“You think that’s what I do?”Maggie walks ahead, her posture tense and angry.“Sit idly by while my home is destroyed by—”

Alex is just quick enough to slap a hand over her friend’s mouth, ever mindful of the eyes and ears that would be all too happy to report them.“Easy Mags.We’re good.”

For whatever reason, Alex had a bad habit of saying the wrong things to people.No matter what her opinions were, they were often offensive.Particularly to Maggie who treated Alex like she’d betrayed her somehow.Not always but often enough that Alex tended to try to keep her mouth shut.

It was better to focus on results than talking anyway.

Maggie shoves her away, walking over to the railing overlooking the Undercity.“What’s down there?”

“A mad scientist hellbent on destroying your temporary home.”Alex steps closer, now back to a respectable distance since they aren’t being followed.“You can join us you know?We’d love to have you back; get some semi new blood.”

New blood being objective.Maggie coming back to the ship with her would be a return rather than a recruitment; she’d ditched the main body of the Rebellion years ago for love.Something Alex was still trying to understand and still felt some betrayal over.She, Lucy, and Maggie had come up through the ranks together and, even though Alex had been the one given the command, they’d all been teamed together.They were meant to be family and then one day, out of nowhere, Maggie had announced that she was leaving.That she’d taken a position as a spy instead of a soldier.

It had felt like someone had gutted her.

After that, it had just been her and Lucy.

“Yeah because the old blood keeps dying.”Maggie shakes her head, pulling a thick envelope out of her jacket.“No thanks.You fight your way and I’ll fight mine.”

Accepting the package, Alex fingers the edges thoughtfully, wondering if she was going to make things worse by offering what she was.

“We could protect her.Your daughter.”

To her credit Maggie’s only tell is the flash of anger in her eyes.Alex doesn’t blame her, not when Maggie has gone to great lengths to keep the child a secret.Anyone knowing, even Alex, is a threat.Still, the way Maggie leans in, all cold eyed and knowing sends a chill down Alex’s spine.Her next words have the Rebel fighting her own look of shock and panic.

“The same way they protected your father?The same way they protected _you_?”

There was no way that Maggie should know about that.That she _could_ know about that.The fact that she did…

Her blaster is in her hand and she almost has it high enough to point at Maggie before the woman has kicked out her knee, grabbed Alex’s shoulder and flung her over the railing.

Well, fuck.

Guess that hadn’t been Maggie after all.

~*~

It is entirely possible to be woken up by sheer annoyance.Alex had learned that during her stint in basic training for the Fleet.Both Lucy and Maggie had made it their mission in life to annoy the shit out of her and so she’d often woken up annoyed on principal.They, however, were not responsible for this most recent displeasure.

No, that blame rested solely on this obnoxious chanting.

Also, possibly the blood rushing to her head.

And the pain.

It might also have something to do with the pain.

Groggily forcing her eyes open Alex became aware of three things.

One: She was bleeding.

Two: She was tied up and hanging upside down so she could not _stop_ the bleeding.

Three:There were people chanting around her.

She supposes she’s woken up in worse positions.

Releasing a frustrated sigh, Alex starts working on her bonds.She’s strapped to some sort of wood and its bark grates harshly against her wrists.Unfortunately, it is also not very quiet, and her new friends all turn towards her in unison.

“It’s alive!”One of them screams as they turn and run away; the rest are less easy to scare.Jerks.

“Upworlder!” A woman in a long dirty robe wielding a stick—not a staff, a stick—steps forward with upraised arms.“You were sent from the Gods as an offering to our troubles.”

Alex huffs and pops her thumb out of place, grimacing and blinking back tears at the sudden pain.Her captors don’t seem to notice at least and another one, a man, walks up to Alex with a small bucket and brush.He starts to haphazardly paint her with whatever is in said bucket and it isn’t until the scent hits her that she knows she’s in deep shit.

Lemon.

Garlic.

She’s being _seasoned._

Fucking cannibals.

She pulls her hands from the restraints and yanks down the gag in her mouth.“I am _not_ an offering you— _ow_!Stop that!”

The woman who had been the first to talk, the one whose robes look like they’d seen much better days, is now beating her quite heavily with the stick she’d been wielding.Alex can’t even get away because her legs are still strapped to the damn wooden pole!

“Stay _still!”_ The woman insists, despite Alex now bending her body to start at the ties on her legs.“Get her to the fire!”

Being lifted into a horizontal position and moved when only your legs are secured is both terrifying and nauseating.Alex scrabbles behind her for purchase when her body would have otherwise slammed into the ground beneath her.Man is her core going to be in pain tomorrow.

That’s when she finally notices the fire.

_Fuck me._

This was just unfair.

As she’s considering her untimely demise, the man carrying the head end of her pole drops like a stone, the wood slamming into the dirt and sending Alex’s already inured skull into the ground.

There’s screaming and running, and then the bottom half of her body is dropped as well so she is basically flattened under a wooden beam.Having a herd of stampeding elephants explode through her winded body is not fun on the best of days, but right now it just makes Alex wish for absolution.Surely death was better than this?

Eventually it quiets and Alex forces the beam off her shoulders so she can once again work at the leg ties.It hurts like a motherfucker to bend in this position, but she doesn’t really have much choice.As she’s finishing the ties, a drone flits over and hovers in front of her face.

“ _Get off your ass Danvers.We’ve got work to do.”_

Spitting out a mouth full of dirt, Alex flips her middle finger at M1X1, code named Myx, the drone beeping at her in agitation.“Just make sure my ship is ready to go.”

“ ** _My_** _ship.”_ Lucy’s voice comes over the MX’s speakers with some static, proving just how far away from help Alex actually is. _“I’m the Pilot you ass.”_

“Where’s my gear Myx?”Alex asks instead of continuing this age-old argument.“Can you ask your mama to tell me that at least?”

_“In the room behind you.In the shitty thing that passes for a locker.And say thank you!”_

Reaching out a tired hand, Alex gently pats the drone on the head. “Thank you Myx; I didn’t flip you off that was for Lucy.”

It’s quick work to regain her blaster, sword, daggers, and grenades.The medpacs she’d been carrying are a lost cause, much too valuable for the Undercity dwellers not to have immediately used them.Alex can’t even be angry at their application; she’d _heard_ about the undercity of Taris but actually experiencing it is a whole other matter.

Taris was a scummy planet where the wealthy rested on the backs of the working man.Broken down into three levels, the Upper city housed the politicians and affluent citizens; the lower city was for the more common folk and those on the cusp of poverty; and finally, the under city where the exiled “criminals” were sent to be forgotten, no help or clemency in sight.

As far as she was concerned, those medpacs had been put to good use.However, she thought as she scanned the now eerily quiet area, she might change her mind if she encountered any more of these natives.

At least her mission was now slightly simplified.She’d been sent to Taris to try to copy the specs of a weapon Brainiac, an android from Colu hell bent on helping the Sith, was creating.Apparently, all Brainiac understood was destruction and death and it was the rebellion’s plan to find a weakness in the weapon and stop it before it could be used.

Even sneaking stealthily through the streets of the city, Lucy guiding the way from high above, Alex could see the poverty and sickness that clung to the inhabitants like a second skin.The Undercity smelled of garbage and human waste.The scent of decay clinging to her nostrils and forcing her to wrap the bandana tied around her neck, around her lower face.Even so, her eyes stung with the mess of it all and she knew she’d need to get checked out by the ship’s medical droid as soon as she was top side.

Eventually she finds the hut that their intel said was Brainiac’s lair.It’s a mud-based structure with a straw thatched roof and no windows.It is also the only house that Alex has seen thus far with a door.No cameras though, which she supposes means it’s a trap.Alex crouches a good dozen feet or so away and keeps watch.

“You’re sure this is the place?”

“ _I’m gonna need you to stop questioning my command, grunt.”_

“We did the same stint.”Alex mutters, before refocusing on the mission.“Disable the electronics and be ready to pull the alarm on my signal.”

Lucy doesn’t say anything, and Alex takes that as her cue to begin to move, staying low as she makes her way passed the houses.She’s planning an entry through the roof but somehow, with how easy that seems, she feels a trap coming.

The whole thing feels _off_ and a large part of her wants to turn tail and run.Unfortunately, she has sworn an oath and off feelings can’t get in the way of that.She has to get those plans and get back to the ship.

Lucy will take care of the rest.

She’s just reaching into the pocket of her cargo pants for her reclaimed gear, and subsequently the charges that Not Maggie had given her before throwing her down her, when she hears a muffled screech and a thud.Her eyes snap up and in the next few seconds several things happen.

One: Her eyes meet with Real Maggie’s who is tied up in the mud hut across from where Alex is.

Two: She becomes aware of a red laser aimed at her chest.

And three, and perhaps most disastrous of all, a whirlwind of red and yellow clusterfuck comes crashing through Brainiac’s door.

The third thing is probably what saves Alex’s life.The shot that would have pierced her heart, being repelled by an energy shield wielding blonde bipedal who does a spin flip mid fall and shoots a broad grin at Alex.

“Hello!”

“Down Kara!”A brunette man tackles the blonde in a tangle of limbs and yelps, the duo grabbing at each other until they are both standing.Alex has ducked back behind the hut, taking herself away from the lasers and trying to figure out her next move.

She’s barely begun processing that her mission may be irrevocably blown when the blonde peeks back around the corner.“What are you doing?”

Alex can see now that she—because this is decidedly a female— is human, the yellow she’d seen before is a mop of blonde hair pulled back into a messy half up half down half braided _mess_.She’s got a slight tan going on but nothing major and, aside from her very, very blue eyes there’s nothing very distinguishable about her characteristics.Her attitude makes Alex believe she’d just escaped the loony bin.The clothes, a dark red and blue long sleeved shirt and pants ensemble is a form fitting party trick.The white stitching glowing in the smog filled air.

“Who in the world are you?”

“Kara.”

Blaster fire erupts behind them, but the girl seems unperturbed, merely glancing over her shoulder to presumably check on her companion.

At least she isn’t trying to kill her, Alex reasons.To be completely fair, if the girl had wanted her dead, she probably would have attacked her by now.That left about a 30% chance that she could be trusted.When Alex popped her head out to see the squad of Sith soldiers on their way to them, she decided those odds were something she’d have to work with.

Shit.

Returning fire, Alex glances back at Maggie, who has tucked herself as small as possible in a vain attempt to defend herself.She had to get her out of here.If she left her, she’d die.

“Kara!”The man from earlier hurls himself on the floor next to Alex, panting and tapping away at a computer strapped to his forearm.“The lab is wiped, let’s get out of here.”

The blonde nods resolutely before removing something from her hip.“Keep him down there please.”

Then she’s launching herself around the corner, running past Alex who releases a startled yelp at the woman’s brazenness.Despite having just met her, Alex doesn’t want to see a crazy person die, she’s got enough blood on her hands to have an underprivileged Undercity dweller die at her behest.But Kara’s too fast to stop, so Alex pops up and starts shooting in earnest taking out the front two Sith soldiers before Kara is upon them and…

Holy shit.

Alex has never seen _anyone_ move like this.Kara is fast but deliberate, every single step and swing seeming preplanned and coordinated.The Sith’s blasters do absolutely nothing to slow her down and Alex wonders exactly how strong that energy shield _is._ Kara’s weapon of choice is a long ash colored staff that she uses without prejudice.One second, the girl is running through bullets, her energy shield barely flickering at the assault and the next she’s slammed her staff into the last six soldiers’ chests.They all drop, and Kara is left standing in the middle, wiping an exaggerated hand over her brow.

“You guys sure took a lot out of me.”

“Normally I’d be all into you making quips, but we have to go before they lay down the blockade.”The man says, running up to Kara, his bag banging against his hip.

Alex doesn’t stick around to pay attention, she’s already moving towards Maggie, pulling out her knife and cutting her bonds.The drone Lucy is controlling drops in front of her.

“Is she legit?”Alex asks, still hurriedly hacking at the ties around Maggie’s wrists.She’s hoping this is at least the real Maggie and not another iteration of the evil bitch who had thrown her off a fucking balcony.Myx releases a flash of light before Alex gets her response in a series of beeps and a tense yell.

_“Yes, but Alex we’ve got bigger problems!You need to get back here **now**!”_

“Why?”Alex pants, hefting Maggie to her feet and dodging a fist when the woman swings at her.“We still have to get the data and—"

_“Fuck the data!The Sixth fleet just showed up and they are packing heavy.Your new friends seem to have pissed them off.”_

“I get that a lot.”Kara says from over Alex’s shoulder and damn near giving her a heart attack.Kara grins.“Hi.”

“I’m gonna need one hell of an explanation from you.”Alex says acerbically, dodging again when Maggie makes a grab at her.She grabs her friend’s hands and scowls.“And what the _hell_ is your problem?”

“You told them I had a kid dipshit!”Maggie points at her ear, face red and vein pulsing in her forehead.“That thing was in my brain, I heard everything!”

Alex’s stomach drops at the same moment Kara shoves her down.There might be a correlation is what she’s saying.Not that she feels guilty or stupid for not realizing that the other Maggie was not Maggie and more than likely putting an innocent child in danger.

Overhead Sith soldiers are jumping out of shuttles and fanning out.The sheer number of them makes Alex realize just how much deep shit they actually are in.

“You can come with us if you want.”Kara offers, already crawling backwards towards her friend.

There’s a hole that Alex is sure hadn’t been there before that the man drops into, a large clanking sound echoing only seconds after his body disappears.

Alex glances at the Sith, then at Kara.Maggie.Sith.Fuck.Kara drops into the hole and Maggie jabs Alex in the side.

“Do you have _any_ sort of plan?”Maggie asks with narrowed eyes and folded arms.

Kara’s head pops back up.“Of course.”

Already feeling a headache coming on—besides the probable concussion—Alex tries and fails to keep the exasperation out of her voice amidst the sound of rapidly approaching soldiers.

“Let’s follow the blonde.”

Grinning, Kara disappears again and Alex sighs before tugging Maggie towards the only real escape they have.They drop down into some sort of sewer system, the dim lights casting a greenish glow along the rusted walls and walkway.

Kara beams when she sees them, twirling her staff like a baton but not really moving in any direction.“This is Winn, he’s my best friend.”

Winn is tapping frantically at his computer, a silver sphere in his hand.The sound of marching reaches them just as he tosses the sphere to Kara, who launches it up at their entry point without so much as blinking.

It makes the hole disappear entirely and Kara easily starts following Winn to the east.

Meanwhile Alex’s brain has decided to start working again.

“You’re name’s not really Winn.”Alias’ were common these days but Alex had just watched these two blow and operation that had taken weeks of planning!An operation that could have saved billions of lives—she didn’t have time for alias’.

“Of course, it is.”Kara says, still completely unperturbed.

“I wasn’t talking to you.”

“Of course, it is,” Winn says, hurrying down a lane to their left.“Don’t be rude to my friend.”

Alex and Maggie exchange confused looks.

“The fuck are you guys, clones?”Maggie asks, the sheer weirdness of the duo making them wonder what the hell they had just walked into.

“Of course not,” Kara says with a laugh, stepping to one side and raising her hand.A microsecond later she’s caught a spear and is charging past Winn to take out a Gamorrean, large pig like creatures with little brains.Alex has no doubts that the blonde could have simply thrown the spear back at the Gamorrean if she so chose, but she didn’t seem to be big on ending life.Having eliminated the enemy, Kara waves them down a new corridor and falls back enough that she’s level with Maggie.“Where is your daughter?”

Alex is really sick of people moving so damn fast.She’s tired and cranky and probably has a fucking concussion, and now she’s had to put herself between Maggie and the young dipshit who may or may not be a sociopath.

“Woah, woah, woah.Let’s talk about this.”

“Move out the damn way Danvers.”Maggie hisses from between clenched teeth.

“Just calm the fuck down Mags.”There’s a knife pressed to a very baffled Kara’s throat, Alex’s body between hers and Maggie’s and her hand on Maggie’s forearm stopping her from killing the young girl.Now that she’s gotten a good look at her, Kara doesn’t look to be much older than nineteen.“She’s just a kid.”

“She’s a fucking spy you, halfwit.”

“No, I’m not!”Kara says, red coloring her cheeks as her lips turn down for the first time since Alex had met her.Who knew the girl knew how to do anything _except_ smile?

“Yeah, no she’s not.We just saved you’re butts up there.”Winn sounds a whole lot less confident than Kara, but that could be because he is the brains rather than the brawn.

“You saved our butts to go after _my_ kid.”

“Why would we want your child?”Kara asks exasperated, and like her life isn’t in danger.“We don’t even want our own children… or like we don’t _have_ children but that is to say, we don’t _want_ any… right now… or soon.No children any time _soon._ ”

Maggie scowls and lowers her knife.“Who the hell are you people?”

Kara beams.“I’m Kara and this is—”

“We got the names!”Alex has had about enough of the chipper attitude and she bares down on her with the full weight of her glare. It’s mostly for show on her part, Maggie is very protective of her family and if Alex doesn’t fix this Maggie will lose it. Her friend has tortured far worse people than these two for information and if it comes down to it, she’ll do it again.If it means winning this war, she’d do it a million times.Alex really doesn’t want that on her conscience.“We want to know who the hell you _are._ Why are you on Taris?And what were you doing in Brainiac’s hut?”

“Oh.”Kara exchanges a slow glance with Winn before nodding.“We cannot tell you that unless you tell us who _you_ are.Also, not to rush but if your daughter _is_ being tracked down, I don’t think now is the best time to have this discussion.”

Unfortunately, that is a solid point, one neither Maggie or Alex can refute and so after some silent communication, Alex nods.

“She’s in the Northern apartments in the lower city.I have a friend watching her.”

Winn serves them a distrusting glare of his own before scrambling for a ladder down the hall and leading them further into the sewer network.Kara follows after him without question and, after a brief pause, so does Maggie.

Sighing, Alex trails them really hoping this doesn’t result in her death.

~*~

The lower city of Taris is a high jump up from the Undercity and a large step down from the Upper city.It’s almost catastrophic the levels of social class on clear display. While the lower city wasn’t a cesspool, the graffiti covered walls and the very visible gang hideouts hardly make it a safe place to live.Down here, you either joined a gang or you owed a gang.There was no in between and the Sith soldiers couldn’t be bothered to break up crime when they were being paid to look the other way.

Taris truly was a shithole.

Once Winn has led them out of the sewers and Kara has given them the all clear, they poke their heads out to slightly cleaner air and a decidedly refreshing lack of cannibals.

At least in Alex’s opinion.

Her relief seems to be Winn’s panic.Clearly the man had not just survived being someone’s dinner.

“ _Kara_ , we need to go.The blockades almost in place.We’ve got like ten minutes.”Winn is sounding pretty desperate, eyes fixed on the screen on his forearm.

Kara’s already shaking her head, staff held behind her back as she focuses on something Alex can’t see.“Not without the little girl.”

The sound Winn makes is less whine, and more scared whimper but it still makes Alex’s lip curl.What a loser.Maggie seemingly agrees and after shooting a him a glare, starts walking towards the apartment suites.Kara’s staff lands on her chest, halting her forward momentum.

“She’s not down there.”Kara says without averting her gaze.“The only thing left down there is death.”

“Wh—” Maggie purses her lips, tears flooding her eyes as she shifts her weight and visibly fights the urge to charge down the corridor.“What are you saying?Do you see her?”Kara frowns, mouth opening to respond but hesitating enough that Maggie grabs the front of her shirt and shakes.“Answer me!Do you fucking see her?!Is she down there?”

Kara’s hand slaps over Maggie’s mouth, her other hand moving so quickly Alex barely sees her pinch the back of Maggie’s neck.Maggie’s unconscious in the next second and Alex has her gun drawn.

A second too late, she realizes that Winn does as well.The small man may not seem like much of a threat, but a blaster is a weapon in anyone’s hand.

“The Sith are coming.”Kara hefts Maggie onto her shoulder in a fireman’s carry, her lips pressed into a thin line as she looks up at the barely visible sky.“And the blockade is already in place.We need to find someplace to lay low.”

There’s not a lot of options that Alex has here.On the one hand, she has no idea who Winn and Kara really are.Barring the fact that Kara had single handedly saved their asses in the Undercity, she had also just knocked Maggie, a trained Rebel spy, out with zero difficulty.The threat level of the duo has definitely increased exponentially.

On the other hand, she’s solo.Lucy’s drone will be useful but after seeing how Kara’s energy shield had absorbed the Sith blaster fire, she’s less than hopeful that she’ll have a fair shot at the girl.Especially with Maggie as a hostage.

Add to that the menacing growl that suddenly echoes down the corridor, and Alex is heavily leaning towards something idiotic.

_“She’s right Alex_.”Lucy’s voice sounds in her ear and she can hear the grudging regret that means they’re in deep shit.“ _Blockade’s just gotten a whole new batch of reinforcements.And whatever is down that hallway is nothing good.The scanners aren’t even functioning, it’s like a magnetic pull is interfering.”_

Kara shifts, and for the first time Alex sees that she looks scared.“We need to go Alex.If we don’t leave now, they’ll find us.”

Scowling, Alex points her gun threateningly, or as threatening as she can be with a pistol to her head.

“If you try _anything_ —”

“I won’t.I swear I just want to help.”

“Kara.”Winn whimpers, glancing around them and practically vibrating with nervousness.

The blonde’s eyes are pleading, deep blue irises set under a strong brow.There’s a scar over the right one, something that gives Alex pause.Someone had gotten the best of her, which means she’s got a flaw.And she’s got Maggie.

Alex can be patient.

“I know a place we can go.” Holstering her gun, she glares at Winn until he does the same.Kara looks relieved when Alex looks back at her.“Follow me.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So we met Kara. I like to think of Kara in this iteration as a free spirit who kind of looks like Fat!Thor's little sister if such a sister were to exist. Just imagine her as Kara but with cool Viking Thor braids. At least for the moment. It will be sorta explained as we go on why she's... styled like this.
> 
> Alex is going to be a more even tempered lady in this fic. She didn't grow up having to be ready to protect Kara at a seconds notice so she doesn't have that hair trigger thing in the show. Maggie however, has a similar backstory as she did on TV, so she's a bit more shields up and ready to kick ass than Alex is. Their personalities will make sense the more we go on... hopefully.
> 
> I never purposefully write characters ooc, I just try to keep their character true to their given circumstances if that makes any sense. Anyway, this is only the first chapter and I know that there might be a few questions that have now been raised but I assure you... all will be answered in due time.
> 
> Also, if you're expecting Kalex action anytime soon, I'm sorry to disappoint. I don't think they even kiss until like Chapter... after sixteen for sure. In this story, Alex is a baby gay who has never questioned her sexuality. She's still firmly in the dark about her sexuality but that too will change.
> 
> And lastly, if you have played SWKOTR, you know exactly how terrible Taris is as a society.
> 
> Anyway, hope you guys enjoyed this snippet. Let me know what you think :)
> 
> ~Chronicles


	4. Ch 2: Do You Know Your Enemy?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alex tries to make amends

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Previously:  
> Alex met up with her contact Maggie, for assistance in infiltrating a known Sith leader's lair. Instead of help, she finds that Maggie is not Maggie and is thrown down into the Undercity.
> 
> She escapes with the help of Lucy and her drone Myx and they proceed with the original plan. Only its derailed when a blonde woman and her companion run into them and put them in the Sith's crosshairs. They manage to get away with the real Maggie and Kara even agrees to help them find Maggie's family.
> 
> Unfortunately, there is something very wrong with the path they chose and Kara insists on finding a hideout. After a short argument, Alex agrees.
> 
> Song: Know Your Enemy- Green Day
> 
> Still not beta'd all mistakes are my own.
> 
> Heavy KOTOR references but again, you didn't need to play to get it. :)

Do You Know Your Enemy?

The rebel safe house is dusty, full of mildew and smells of old wet socks.Still a step above the smell of Taris’ Undercity but way more bacteria filled then Alex would have liked.Her neck bandana is back around her nose and mouth, but she still has to choke back a cough when she pulls the door shut behind Kara.

Kara who barely looks affected by lugging Maggie’s body through half of the city.They’re currently in the lower city level, back behind swoop gang territory.It won’t stop the Sith from tracking them down if they want, but they’ll get a hell of a warning when the gangs go to war.Swoop gangs tended to be territorial and having anyone not part of the gang, Sith included, meant defending their base and the honor of their clan.

Luckily, the leader of the Hidden Bek’s had a soft spot for the rebels and never pried too deep into this hidey hole.So long as the rebels stayed out of his business, he was usually content to stay out of theirs.

Zipping her jacket up in a lame attempt at keeping the germs at bay, Alex tilts her head towards the back of the small room where a bed waits.The mattress is gross, but Alex presses a few buttons on the wall panel and a small army of cleaning droids are released.They have the air sterilized in seconds and the mattress habitable a short while later.

Kara watches them with obvious fascination until Winn nudges her and makes wide eyes towards the bed.

“Right.”The blonde mutters, her own eyes going wide and glancing at Alex askance.“My shoulder is um… tired.”

She sets Maggie on the bed shortly after, making a big show of flexing her shoulders and wincing in pain.Alex barely pays her any attention, too busy worrying about mesothelioma while she hesitantly lowers her bandana, relaxing slightly when she doesn’t immediately hack up a lung.Whoever had programmed these droids had included a lemon balm scented cleaner and Alex silently sends them her thanks.

Feeling much more confident about their quarters, Alex taps in another command and watches as a silver knee-height cube is ejected from the wall.Smiling in victory, she stoops to open the newly revealed refrigerator.Inside are small packets of MREs and several bottles of water.

She lifts one and throws it at Kara without a warning, satisfied when the blonde catches it without looking up from her conversation with Winn.

“So,” Alex rises to her feet with her own bottle of water, passing one off to Winn as well.“you’re an alien.”

As nonchalant as she had phrased her words, she would have thought Kara would have denied it or outright lied.Which she does but the disastrous attempt she makes at playing it off is only successful in being marginally humorous.

“Me?No!”Flapping her hands, Kara glances between the water bottle and Winn, who is rubbing a hand over his face.Kara’s mouth pinches and she forces a huge fake smile, shaking her head and giggling like a maniac.“I don’t even know where you got that from, I mean—super human here.”

Alex takes a sip of her water.“I don’t really like liars.”

She hadn’t really expected her words to have too much impact.Kara’s clearly a skilled fighter and they had also just met each other.Saying she didn’t appreciate being lied to should have been a nuisance at best.

Kara doesn’t seem to take it as a nuisance; Kara’s entire face goes slack, her mouth dropping open while she switches her gaze between Winn and Alex before glaring down at her feet.

“I never want to lie to you.”Kara admits quietly.

Yet another oddity.

Alex decides against prying.

“Who was down that hallway?”

“The Sith.”Kara replies easily, glancing up from beneath long lashes and, when she sees Alex isn’t angry, straightening her posture.“And their hounds.”

The announcement makes Alex choke on her water, blinking in shock at the news.

“Jedi hunters?”

Vornskrs were viscous animals from the planet Myrkr.The odd creatures were some sort of reptile, mammal hybrid that resembled large dogs.They almost always had a dark coat and long snout capable of sniffing out force sensitives from miles away.It was largely due to their skills that the Sith had managed to wipe out so many of the Jedi Order.

The Vornskrs’ sole purpose was to find anyone with Force Capabilities and devour the “light”.They were the darkest creatures Alex knew, and she wouldn’t wish their way of demise on anyone.Having even an inkling of the Force was enough to set their blood pumping.

“Yes.”Kara nods and her expression turns grave.“The good news is that they weren’t feeding, they were looking.It was a search party and… well, whoever they were looking for is still out there.”A blush colors the blonde’s cheeks, bright and red while she trips over her words and scratches at her cheek.There’s a small furrow between her eyebrows while she sways her head in measure.“I’m like ninety percent sure Maggie’s family got out in time.”

“Ninety percent?”

“Give or take.”

“Take.”Alex says, her eyes darting to Maggie’s unconscious form and licking her lips.This all just a whole lot more messed up.“The kid is only six.She—we need to get her out.”

“We can’t get anyone out.”Winn grumbles, the data pad that he’d had strapped onto his arm has been folded out to a full mini laptop and is now propped up on a window sill while he types away.“This blockade is going to ensure that _no one_ goes anywhere and now we are stuck and—”

“Winn.”Winn’s eyes snap to Kara’s and for the first time, Alex hears disapproval in her voice.“We’re talking about actual living people.Try not to be a jerk.”

The man’s mouth flaps for a second before he ducks his head and mumbles an apology.

“Did you get the video yet?”Kara asks instead of giving him any headroom, smiling gently when he nods his head and turns his screen towards her in apology.

Which—Alex hadn’t even known he was looking for video.She crowds next to the odd team, glancing over Winn’s shoulder while watching the backwards video of the Sith Patrol.The footage is grainy and not at all as clear as they would have been had an Uppercity camera been used, but still viable.And it allows Alex to see that the Sith patrol had entered the hall mere minutes after she would have been thrown off the balcony by Not-Maggie.

So… she _was_ responsible.

Fortunately, a tall woman with a duffel bag can be seen exiting an apartment moments before the Sith patrol enters the floor.When Alex sees the bag squirm, she squeezes Winn’s shoulder and Kara points at the screen.

“There.Zoom in there.”

Winn taps a few keys and the grainy picture becomes even more pixelated.Another window pops up and starts rebuilding the photo pixel by pixel.When several minutes have gone by and the first line has just been rendered, Alex purses her lips and removes herself.

Hands propping on her hips, she fights the urge to throw a tantrum.It had never really been her style but with how long this is taking… there’s a little girl whose life is at stake.

Time really isn’t something they have a lot of.

“How long are we expecting this to take exactly?”

Although she tries valiantly to keep the aggression out of her tone, Kara still sends her a sympathetic glance over her shoulder.Winn is the one who rolls his eyes without redirecting his focus.

“I’m working off of a processing unit that barely hits 4 GHz, it’s not like I have my main computer with me.”Winn’s eyes take on a love filled glow.“Now that baby would make you cry.I rigged her to get at _minimum_ a solid 10 GHz with overclocking capabilities of—hey!”

Kara huffs but acquiesces by rubbing the shoulder she had just whacked in apology.“Can you run a simultaneous camera check to follow that woman?See where she went?”

“With this thing?”Kara pinches Winn again and the startled yelp he releases is both loud and annoying.

“Oh look.”Kara points at the bed.“Maggie’s waking up.”

Alex’s hands are up and open before she’s even turned around, cautiously watching as her friend groans and pushes herself to her elbows.

“Why does my mouth taste like a gym sock?”

“The room was a cesspool.”

“So you laid me on the bed?”

“It was mostly clean.”

“Mostly.”Maggie makes a face of disgust, her jaw working as she tries to rid herself of whatever flavor is in her mouth. “Where’s my daughter?”

Wishing she had better news, Alex stuffs her hands in her pockets, brow furrowing of its own accord and prompting Maggie to scowl and stand.

“We’re looking.”Alex assures her, moving an inch to the left to put herself in the path to Kara.“Kara doesn’t think she was down there so—”

“Oh yeah, because I give a shit what Kara thinks!”

“Kara thinks we found her.”Both women turn to look at the blonde in question, the solemn look on Kara’s face enough to have Alex walking back to the computer.There are more wires now, which have seemingly appeared from nowhere, and the grainy picture has been enhanced.There is definitely the outline of a hand in that duffel bag.

“That’s her!”Maggie exclaims, “that’s Kate!”

Alex nods, one problem down.“Did you start a trace—”

“Done.”Winn says, his finger pointing at another image of the same woman only this time with a little girl in her arms, her face clearly visible as she surveys the area.“She made it out of the patrol zone.”

Maggie heaves a sigh of relief, but Alex is now looking at Kara.

They’ve just faced down Brainiac, a battalion of Sith soldiers, Gamorreans, a Sith hunting party and the Undercity dwellers.

Kara hadn’t lost her upbeat attitude once.

Sure she had looked more serious during the patrols, but she hadn’t looked… disappointed.

“Where is that?”Maggie asks, leaning closer over Winn’s shoulder and squinting at the screen.“I can’t make out the apartment numbers.”

“That’s because it’s not an apartment.It’s the camera from the main sewer entrance in the Undercity.”

Maggie’s lips firm but she nods, pushing off the back of Winn’s chair and moving towards the door.Alex follows her, double checking her weapons as she moves.

“Do you have a time stamp on that?Is that the last image you have?”

Swirling around in his chair, Winn nibbles on his lip.“Yes and yes.It was about thirty minutes ago; she can’t have gotten too far.”

Lip curling, Alex shrugs.“Give or take twenty minutes to get down there.And kids hold you up.Maybe an hour before we catch up?”

“At least eight.”

The feeling from before returns, her discomfort over Kara’s lack of enthusiasm coming back full force.It’s odd, seeing the girl so severe where moments before she had been all nervous energy and hidden smiles.

But, although Kara’s words bring pause to Alex, they do not have the same effect on Maggie who almost makes it to the door before Kara puts herself in front of it.

Clearly she has a death wish.

Alex sighs, unwilling to get between them again, and leans back on the nearest counter.For her part, Maggie doesn’t pull her weapon.She glares something fierce, but she at least waits.

The knockout must have really done a number on her ego if she was willing to treat Kara like an actual threat.

“Information you’d care to share?”Maggie grits out.

“The woman in the photo—”

“Kate.”

“ _Kate._ She was smart but also… I’m not sure how much you all know about Taris but her going in the sewers at this time of night…it’s not good.”

“Why?”

Kara’s nose wrinkles and she shifts her weight.She’s obviously agitated, annoyed almost but seemingly more with herself.

Seeing her plight, Winn steps up.Tapping something on his machine and pulling over to the group at the door.

“These guys are called Raghouls.”The image he shows them is a 3d image render of a weird mole rat meets the gorillas of lore kind of creature.It’s large, muscled, hairless, and stands on two legs.The large mouth stretches from its long snout all the back to its ears, displaying rows upon rows of razor sharp teeth.And it’s also got no eyes.Alex stands.That is something to give anyone pause.

“A few years ago,” Winn continues, “some Sith scientists were trying to create a super soldier.They thought they had perfected the serum and started testing on humans: The Undercity dwellers that no one would miss.They promised them they’d get to go to the surface if the trials were successful.Obviously, there were a lot of sign ups.”

“What the fuck?”Maggie whispers.

When Winn switches to a video clip of the creatures in action, Alex silently agrees.These things are killers and apparently tear through energy shields like tissue paper.

“When they saw that the results weren’t what they wanted, the Sith abandoned the project.They decided to start from scratch on a new planet and they left the infected in the Undercity.Anyone who survives a Raghoul attack, becomes a Raghoul.Anyone who comes in contact with one… I give Taris three years without a serum.”

“I’m working on it.”Kara hisses, eyes narrowed and arms crossed.As if Winn’s words had been a personal slight.

“Hey,” Winn raises his hands placatingly, “I’m just giving our new friends the history tour.You know I think you’re probably the only one who blames you.”

Maggie rounds on Kara, eyes turning to slits.“Why is this your fault?”

“Because I got here too late.We received the distress call, but I was… unavailable.Until now.Getting Brainiac’s data was only one part of reversing the damage from the Sith.He was the Head of all projects, including the Raghoul.”Winn taps his fingers again and provides a visual of what looks like a virus strand as backup to Kara’s lament.“If we can break down his formula—"

“Also not a doctor.”

Kara glares at Winn and he snaps his mouth shut.Miming a key and a toss.

“I’m a doctor.”Alex tilts her head when everyone looks at her but keeps her eyes on Kara.Apparently she knows a lot more about what’s going on here than either Alex or Maggie and, like it or not, they’re going to need her help to save Maggie’s daughter.“A Bioengineer actually but I passed all my certs.I can make a cure.That,” she gestures at the ugly looking visual, “is child’s play.You help us get the kid; I help you get the cure.”

Lips quirking, Kara ducks her head with a quick shake.“I was going to help you anyway.”

“You literally just body blocked the door.”Maggie says.

“Because they’re more active at night.Going out now would be a suicide mission.The best play is to send your drone down after them, track them that way and let them know help is on the way.”

“And if the Sith get to them first?”

Winn waves a hand dismissively, plopping back in his chair and closing his eyes.“The Sith never send patrols down at night.The Raghouls may be certified mutant monsters now but they _do_ remember who made them what they are.”

“Good to know.”Alex murmurs.

“They’re as safe as they can be.”Kara assures, “and Winn can get your Lucy Drone down to them super fast, right Winn?”

Winn throws a thumbs up.

“See?”Kara steps closer to Alex, her eyes earnest and that furrow even more pronounced than before.“Please trust me.I swear I’ll get them out.”

The promise, although clearly genuine, bewilders Alex because they’d literally just met this girl.They’d clearly gotten in each other’s way and Maggie had threatened her more than once.By all rights, Kara should have ditched them back in the Undercity.

She hadn’t.

And it’s confusing as all get.

“Why do you _care_ so much?”

“I…” Color rushes to the blonde’s cheeks and she steps back, fiddling with her sleeves—Alex notices she has thumb loops now—the dark blue contrasting heavily with the pale skin it’s covering.“I don’t want to see you get hurt.”

“She thinks you’re hot.”

“Winn!”

Alex blinks, unconsciously shifting and looking down at herself to make sure she’s still in her grubby clothes that have been torn and shot up and _seasoned._ The idea of anyone finding her attractive on a normal day is odd but looking as she does now?

Still, from the sheer amount of blood rushing to Kara’s face, she has to figure there’s at least some truth to Winn’s words.If she had to guess, she only feels marginally weird because well… Kara’s a girl.

Alex is a woman of reason and logic; she likes her facts lined up neatly for her so that she can draw her own conclusions.Ever since they had met Kara has been nothing but kind, helpful, and protective.All traits that someone would display if they wanted something from you.

Considering that Alex definitely had nothing to offer Kara in terms of material possessions or, up until a few moments ago, knowledge, it stood to reason that she would be interested in her body.

Which Alex is used to just, again, not from women.

“What?!”Winn shrugs, shoulders slamming up to his ears.“You do!”

“Ugh!”Kara slides a hand down her very red face, lips thinning to the point of invisibility.“I am not helping you because—not that you’re not—it’s just help shouldn’t have a filter on it.Ugly people should be helped too!Not that you’re ugly!You’re obviously not!I’m just saying that I would help you even if you _were_ ugly!Which feels like a bad word… maybe unfortunate looking?Or like not aesthetically pleasing because aesthetics is completely partial, and you might look amazing to someone else even if I didn’t find you attractive.Which I do!I think you’re beautiful but that is _not—”_

Maggie slices her hand through the air, cutting Kara off midsentence.Which is good because Alex was kind of starting to worry about her o2 intake.“We get it kid!She’s hot; you’ve got a big heart and a plan.Let’s focus on the latter and save my family, yes?”

The salute Kara throws is clearly thrown out of pure mortification and Alex has to bite the inside of her cheek to stop the huge grin that wants to break out.As it is, she has to cover her mouth with her hand to hide her amusement at Kara’s ramble.

“Yes ma’am.”The blonde practically runs over to Winn, spinning before Maggie has even finished her next sentence.

“Good.If you get this right, I’ll let you have her for _two_ nights.”

Kara trips over her own feet, a weird choking sound leaving her, and Alex can’t hold it any longer.

She coughs into her fist.

~*~

Lucy—the human Lucy, not the drone Lucy—grudgingly gives control of her beloved Myx over to Winn.Alex knows it’s only because she’d asked.

And maybe a little that there’s a little girl’s life on the line.

Maybe a combination of the two.

To be fair, Lucy wasn’t really fond of anything ever.She most closely resembled a cantankerous old man who yelled at young people about the olden days.All she was missing was a cane.

_“If he breaks him—”_

“I’ll buy you a new one.”Alex promises without removing her eyes from the live video feed.They’d been at this for almost two hours now and Winn assured them that he was getting close.Alex really hopes that for all of their sake, he’s right.Maggie looks ready to bite clean through the leash if they don’t provide results shortly.“What’s the ship’s status?”

“We’re docked and hidden in cargo bay 54 behind the peppermint schnapps.”

“What the hell are peppermint schnapps?”Maggie mutters, pacing back and forth behind the small group.

“Oh!”Lighting up, Kara immediately launches into an energetic explanation, complete with hand gestures and pleasure filled sounds.

Although how she knows so much about a disgusting human beverage has Alex slightly confused.The only person she knows who is even slightly interested in the weird things only humans like to consume is Lucy.And that’s because Lucy is weird.Kara’s also pretty weird though, so maybe it makes sense.

“Got them!”Winn exclaims, leaning forward into his mic and handily cutting Kara off.“Um, hello?Hi, up on the ceiling, see the droid?I’m—”

“Nobody cares!”Maggie hauls his chair away, ignoring the startled ‘eep’ sound he releases and rushing forward to take his place.“Kate?Kate honey are you ok?”

_“Maggie?”_ The woman from the camera, leans forward from where she had been hunched over a small bundle in the corner.The bundle slowly unfurls revealing an adorable little girl that clutches at this ‘Kate’. _“Where the hell were you?You said you were going out for **five** minutes and the next thing I know I’ve got Sith patrol breathing down my neck!”_

“I know but—”

_“What did you do?”_

“Nothing!”

_“Margaret Sawyer!”_

“I—I had to meet a contact from the rebellion and I accidentally walked into a trap.But I got out!”Maggie rushes, seeing the livid look on Kate’s face even from over here.“I got out and we’re good and everyone’s fine!”

“ _I’m gonna kick you in the balls when I see you!”_

“Honey, we’re um we kind of have guests.”

“ _Do you honestly think I give a shit?Jamie,_ ” Kate turns to the child at her feet, “ _do we give a shit?”_

“ _No mama_.”

“ _See_?!”

“Ok, ok!I’m coming to get you I swear.I’ve got a small army with me too so—”

_“Not at this time of night you aren’t!Do you not see those zombie creatures roaming around!?Margaret—”_

“ ** _Ok_**!I’ll sit tight until morning but then I _am_ coming to get you whether the fucking zombie Raghouls are there or not.”

Alex wisely chooses not to acknowledge Kara’s whispered, ‘I told you so.’It does make her lips twitch.Just slightly.

The blonde is proving to be a very entertaining host if nothing else.

_“Daylight and not a second sooner Maggie!I’m serious!_ ”

“Ok!”

“I can put the droid in sentinel mode.”Winn offers, scooting back over to his computer and awkwardly reaching under Maggie for the keyboard.“Just a few quick… there.Now if anything comes near you, it will shoot first and ask questions later.”

Kate visibly relaxes. _“Thank you strange man voice.”_

“Oh, uh I’m Winn: resident computer nerd.Your girlfriend threatened me and my best friend so we decided to help her out because she looked really desperate.”

“ _Yeah, because she doesn’t want me to kick her ass.”_

Maggie closes her eyes, her face betraying her embarrassment as she hisses her partner’s name.“ _Kate.”_

_“Daylight Sawyer.Now that this drone is operational, I’m going to try to catch some sleep.Keep watch?”_

“Always.”Maggie promises, softening all over and pulling her own chair up next to the camera.

Kate is obviously relieved, and Alex has to give it to her that she held herself together for so long with a kid attached to her hip.Now that she sees them up close, it’s clear they’re not in the best shape.They must have escaped by the skin of their teeth and then gotten into a few more scrapes along the way.

Briefly, Alex worries that they had a run in with a Raghoul.Kate had mentioned the creatures which means they’d seen them, but Maggie was only supposed to be on Taris as a quick layover.Her and her family had probably never set foot in Taris’ Undercity before.

If Kate _had_ gotten too close to the zombie…

Alex gently tugs on Kara’s arm, the blonde blushing but following her easily away from where Winn and Maggie are discussing patrol patterns and area cameras.

It’s bad enough that this is a possibility, she doesn’t want to freak Maggie out on top of all of this.

“That Raghoul cure?”Alex prompts when they’re out of ear shot, resting her hands on her hips.“How close are you?”

Blowing out a breath, Kara wiggles her head back and forth.“Halfway maybe?I exceled in science but more… mechanical than biology.”

“You built nanotech?”Alex asks, eyebrows shooting up.

“Yeah!How’d you know?”The grin and the hyper energy are back in bounds, but Alex can’t dwell on that right now.

To say she is impressed is an understatement.

“Nanotech is the leading medical science right now, but it requires—”

“Tiny robots: nanites!You program them to attack the disease in a direct mimic of the human immune system.Only they’re stronger, more effective, and fifty times more precise!”Kara squeals, practically vibrating as she geeks out.“Dox helped me with it.He can talk to them but they just… we’re not quite there with understanding how to program the right viral sequence.It’s so—”

“Let me see what you have.”Alex interrupts, ignoring the weirder parts of Kara’s statement.The more she gets to know the girl, the more she realizes that Kara may be a little… odd.She sounds perfectly sane one moment, and completely abstract the next.Alex doesn’t really mind, to each their own, but she really needs to focus on making sure they have a viable solution in place in the event Maggie’s family turns into human eating zombies.

Kara flashes a grin her way and flips her wrist over, revealing a small watch.She taps at the screen quickly and a holographic image of her current study shows up above her hand.

Alex unstraps the watch to place it on the counter, so Kara’s arm doesn’t fall off from over exertion but the second the metal loses contact with her skin, the image is lost.

Grin turning shy, Kara gives a self-conscious shrug.“Biometrics… Just in case.”

Just in case what?Who in the world _were_ these people?

“Right.”Alex says instead of diving into that wormhole.She snaps the watch back on.“At least lean on something so you don’t get tired.I have a feeling we’re going to be here for a while.”

~*~

Growing up had been rough on Alex.First she’d had vague memories of a warm bed, being tucked in with something soft and kisses pressed to her forehead.There was the faint smell of vanilla, a soft womanly hum and then nothing much until her years as a slave.

Those were less pleasant to look back on and, aside from some thievery and spy skills, she hadn’t gained very much from the experience.

When M’gann brought her back to Eliza, her lack of expertise had been erased rather quickly.Eliza had grieved for her husband for certain, and she had even spared some time to be glad that her daughter had been returned to her, but once those two mandatory periods had passed Alex had begun her training.As Eliza was a scientist, the head bioengineer allied with the resistance, that is what Alex had been trained in.

For months she had studied under her mother, and then when she’d had the basic skills down, Eliza had entered her into the Academy.

It would have been difficult if Alex hadn’t very badly needed something to latch onto back then.Back then, she’d had nothing and knew nothing.Having an anchor, even one as seemingly unpleasant as school, had helped to moor her when the world had seemed to go topsy turvy.

And, when she had graduated with her own degree, one of the youngest in the history of The Republic, Eliza had been exceedingly pleased.So much so that she had already had a spot waiting on her staff for Alex after her ceremony.

Unbeknownst to her, Alex had already signed up for the Fleet.

School had been rewarding yes; and she’d learned things she never would have otherwise but…

It wasn’t what she wanted.

It had saved her when she’d needed saving; had given her something other than her pain to focus on.Now that she was older, she no longer needed it.

She needed to make sure that no one else _needed_ anything in the way she’d needed school.Eliza hadn’t been happy but Alex… 

Had stopped living for her.

J’onn had helped with that a bit.

“You have the polarity wrong.”

Kara looks up from her notes, eyes blinking in confusion as Alex taps something out on the watch on her wrist.

It’s been a few hours since they’d first started working but Alex is used to people being shocked at her quick turn arounds.To be fair, she’d studied nearly every piece of biological and chemical science available to her on her home planet.She hadn’t been a natural, but she’d made up for it with a single-minded focus and dedication.

Difficult problems were very rare for her these days.

And the more complex ones she saw as fun puzzles.

Kara doesn’t seem to agree if her bewildered expression is anything to go by.

“I haven’t accounted for polarity.”

“Well then that's your problem.See here?”Alex twist Kara’s wrist, maneuvering the image she was looking at so Kara has a clearer picture.“That’s the atomic make up of your virus.It doesn’t work."

“What doesn’t work?Did I get the diagram wrong?”Kara’s eyes widen, her head wiggling slightly as if she were trying to dislodge something.

Alex ignores the weirdness, focusing on how the different atoms originally repel against each other before slowly starting to circle around the others form and finally bonding wholly.It’s like a weird mating dance.

It’s also the 1st time she’s ever seen anything like this.Still, the basic structure is correct.

“Do your nanites have the capability of say an EMP?”

“Yes.”

“I need you to reverse the polarity of these two spheres,” she points at the edge of the curve she’s indicating, watching the holographic animation rotate until it’s exactly where she wants it.“Here.”

“Why?”

Kara asks the question but she’s already typing something with her free hand, the programming module for the nanites popping up next to her visualizations.

“I just explained it.Your nanites aren’t working so you need to reverse the polarity.”

Still visibly confused but nodding all the same, Kara finishes the last of her commands with a flick of her finger.“Of course.My mistake.I’m done.”

“Good.”Alex rubs her hands over her face, happy that this first part at least is completed.“Now we need to test it.”

A green progress bar pops up much to Alex’s amazement, slowly filling in as Kara presumably runs her test on a virtual subject.The watch beeps when the green bar fills completely, a sign reading “96%” floating above it.

“I’ve already run simulations on hundreds of different species.What you did worked… I think I kind of understand it now actually.”The impressed look on Kara’s face quickly morphs into excitement.“This is great!Do you know how many lives we can save?”

“Kate and Jamie’s?”

“Well yeah but besides them!Think about the Undercity dwellers!”

“The people who tried to eat me?”

“They were just hungry.”

Alex folds her arms over her chest and tries very hard not to squint.“So that makes it right?”

“No.”Kara looks almost affectionate when she shakes her head, quickly dispelling the holograms and moving to stand next to Alex.The blonde gently squeezes one of Alex’s biceps, happy smile still in place.“I am very grateful you’re ok.I don’t even want to imagine what would have happened if you’d been eaten, but they’re desperate.The Sith and the government have made them desperate.”

Feeling a headache coming on, Alex slowly rubs the area between her brows, knowing without being told what the do-gooder is going to request.

“So you want to save them?”

“Don’t you?”Kara shrugs sheepishly.

“Word of advice from someone who’s been doing this for a while: you can’t save everyone.”

The change is immediate, any hint of embarrassment or excitement disappearing with one blink.And when Kara does speak, it sounds like she’s years older.“I already know that, but I also know that we can save these people.Being inconvenienced is no reason to turn your back on people.I’d like there to be a galaxy worth saving once I save it.”Shrugging again, Kara tries for another smile but it’s much harder around the edges and clearly forced.“Besides we’ll need to make more of the antivirus anyway since there are two of them and I only have the one dose.There’s a lab on the Upper level that can help us.I know a guy.”

All good points.

And it’s not like she’s doing anything else.

And it is her fault that Maggie’s family is in this position to start with.

“This,” Alex warns with pointed finger and thin lips, “had better be worth it.”

Kara only smiles, and its soft and has the effect of making Alex feel properly scolded.“All the best things are.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Still just a lot of plot and world building but I want to say, even though Alex is kind of taken aback by Kara at first, she was also the same with Maggie in canon. Her feelings took her completely off guard. Guess where I'm going with this?
> 
> Kate is Kate Kane, i.e. Batwoman. She's still badass but she's not going to have a large role in this story.
> 
> Gamorreans are real star wars creatures. I hope I described them well, I just didn't want to call them pig men but that's what they are. You can do a quick google search to see what they look like. Dumb as nuts those things.
> 
> And I think that's it?
> 
> Thoughts?


	5. Ch 3: Rather Be The Hunter (than the prey)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alex leads a rescue mission.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song: Natural- Imagine Dragons

**_ Rather Be The Hunter (than the prey) _ **

They make it to the Upper city with little difficulty.Alex had had a quick whispered conversation with Maggie and had only received a terse threat in return.

Come dawn, Maggie would leave with or without them.

Alex doesn’t blame her for the warning. She had not, after all, actually cautioned Maggie about what might be happening to her family.

According to Kara's research, the virus would take about 7 hours to incubate, which means they’ll be cutting it close when they get back.And that’s assuming that Kara’s contact is even valid.Or fast.

At the moment Alex is just hoping the blonde knows what she’s doing.She has to remind herself that Kara doesn’t really have a stake in any of this and is helping out of what appears to be the goodness of her heart.

An uncommon approach for sure.

“Ok”, Kara breathes, eyes darting around the open street from the alley where they’re hiding.“When we go in there, I need you to be less…” There’s a brief pause and Kara slowly turns to Alex while trying to find her words.“Severe.”

“I am not severe.”

Eyes widening, Kara flaps her hands awkwardly and lets out a high pitched laugh.“No!Of course not; I just meant maybe you know… you know what?You just be you and I’ll do all the talking ok?”

Alex glances out of the alley.

“There’s a patrol droid coming.”

In seconds Alex finds herself pressed flat against the wall behind her, Kara squishing her in with her entire body.There are breasts pressing against her chest and hot gusts of air ghosting over her neck.It’s extremely confusing in its non-necessity.

The droid passes by harmlessly and a beat later Kara is back to her own side of the alley wall, avoiding Alex’s gaze at all costs and whispering a pointless “all’s clear.”

Kara takes off without a backwards glance, the faint scent of something flowery leaving with her.After taking a brief moment to confirm that the weirdness had indeed just happened, Alex follows her.They had after all been stuck in that alley for the better part of fifteen minutes and they were working on a deadline.

With Kara leading the way, the make their way to a small medical shop on the other end of the city, dodging Sith patrols for some reason.Alex has been at this long enough to know how to blend with the crowds.She’s hardly ever been spotted.

But with the way Kara keeps looking at everyone like a threat, she’s going to assume the blonde is new to this and therefore indulges in her tendency to hide.Neither of them have their main weapons on them, Alex opting for her lighter and more easily concealable daggers over her vibroblades.Her blaster is attached in a holster under her leather jacket, the gun fitting snuggly against her ribcage.

Kara doesn’t appear to have any weapons which might be what’s causing her anxiety.The taller woman is at least able to get them to the shop quickly and quietly, thumbing in a passcode to the door and allowing them entry.

All told, it’s not the worst mission Alex had been on.

That one still firmly remained the Hirev Op.

Lucy still laughed maniacally whenever it was brought up.

“So…” Alex tries when they enter the empty clinic.“Where’s your guy?”

“Girl.”

“Your girl.”

Kara frowns, glancing back at Alex as she moves towards an inactive droid and knocks gently on its head.“She’s not _my_ girl.”She huffs and quickly continues when Alex just gives her a bland look.“Her name is Claire and she’s probably on her—”

“Why is there a stranger in my shop?”

“Claire!”Kara beams and runs over to envelop the woman in her arms.She gets a hand in the face for her efforts, the fierce looking woman glaring daggers at Alex.‘Claire’ has brown skin, light brown eyes, and dark brown curly hair that falls past her shoulders.She’s wearing a tank top and loose pants that would suggest she had been sleeping up until a few minutes ago.Alex can understand her anger.“Claire this is Alex,” Kara says, voice muffled from under Claire’s hand.“She’s my friend.”

“No, I’m not.”Alex disputes, eyeing Claire for a moment before returning her observations to the clinic.“Can you help us make something?”

“No.” Claire’s eyes narrow, thick brows lowering in what Alex is sure is supposed to be a menacing way.“You were rude to Kara.”

“You literally have your hand over her face.”

“Because she’s barely house broken.I don’t want her to kiss me.”

Alex tilts her head, feels her lips tick just a bit when she sees Kara look at her askew from between tan fingers.“She is kind of like a puppy huh?”

“A large one.”Claire drops her hand and turns to the blonde.“What’s going on?”

“My other friends—”

“—they’re not your friends either—” Claire warns, pointer finger waving at Kara in a display that suggests they’ve had this conversation before.

“—are trapped in the sewers with the raghouls.Alex managed to help me crack the anti-venom formula and I was hoping you’d be able to replicate it.”Kara flips over her wrist, tapping at it to pull up the holographic representation of their cure.

Claire tilts her head this way and that before her eyebrows shoot into her hairline and she grabs Kara’s arm.

“You fixed it.”

“Yeah, I know—”

“How?!”

“Well that I’m not too sure of but—”

“Holy shit Kara!”

“And Alex!”Kara reminds, sneaking a look at the aforementioned woman like she’s afraid of insulting her.“Alex did most of it.”

“Actually,” Alex denies, moving towards a workbench and bringing up an analysis tab.“You did most of the work.All I did was advise on polarity.What’s your pass—”

Claire strong arms her out of the way, glare back in place while she takes over the computer work.

“Claire?” Kara prompts, “after we make the cure and you’ve treated who your able… please get off the planet.I’ve got a bad feeling and with the blockade—”

“I’ve already got passage on a freighter.”Kara frowns but Claire waves one hand at her, the other moving through a list of chemicals on her computer screen.“It’s a Sith Freighter.I know a not so douchy engineer who needed help with a certain sex injury.I’m meeting him later.I’ll administer the cure to who I can and then I’ll board my cruise.”

Alex, although amused by the woman, decides to leave them to their conversation.If this situation doesn’t require her attention, she knows a few others that do.

Leaving Kara and Claire to handle the replication, Alex moves to a less occupied corner and hits her comm to get Lucy.

A brief hiss of static later and her partner’s voice filters into her ear.

“What do you want?”Lucy groans

“How’s the ship?”

“It’s fine.It’s been fine and it will be fine when you get here.When will that be?”

“We should be back at the bunker in an hour and a half barring any complications.Then it’s an hour trek through the planet to get to the sewers—”

“Guestimate Commander.”

“Have her ready and primed in three and a half hours.”

“Done.”

Alex hesitates, her fingers brushing over the comm button as she considers her next words.“Luce… how bad is the blockade?”

“We can get through.”

“Lucy—”

“I can get us through Alex.You just worry about saving that kid and getting the data we need.I can handle the rest of it.”

It’s not that she doubts Lucy’s skills.The two of them have been partners too long for that to even be an issue but the real concern is that, as fast as the Ebon Hawk may be, Alex doesn’t know of any ship fast enough to make it through a fully armed blockade.

If it were just Alex, she honestly wouldn’t mind the risk but it’s not just her she has to worry about.It’s Lucy and Maggie; Maggie’s _family._ And now even Kara and Winn.

Alex had made herself and her crew a promise when she’d assumed her command. That they all got to go home at the end of the day.Lucy and she may not have much of a home to go back to, but Maggie did.And Kara and Winn looked like the type of people who _had_ people.

With the blockade and their current time constraints Alex isn’t sure how she’s going to pull this off.All she can do is plan for the work she has in front of her.First step: cure.Then they can get Kate and Jamie and _then_ Alex can get them to the Hawk.After that…

She’ll have to trust Lucy.

~*~

Darth Kaznia paces along the streets of lower city of Taris, listening in as the Sith patrols report on their findings.Taris was a backwater planet to be sure, but it was rich in the resources that her Legion needed to complete their mission of total galactic domination.The Android her Master had employed was meant to harvest those resources and design the machine that would lead them to victory.

Instead, he had allowed a pair of bumbling children to infiltrate his base and steal his research.

Kaznia’s orders were to serve her Cisar and take his life for his failure.

Then, her duty is to find the thieves and deliver them the same fate.

Nose wrinkling, she glances down at the filth that dares to look in her direction.Being a Sith Lord has many perks, one of which is that many people do not bother to even look in her direction.They know their place and they know that Kaznia would sooner rip out their organs then allow them the honor of her presence.Still, these idiots are harmless, chests puffed out with false bravado as they try to look as defiant as possible.

It’s tiring.

But Kaznia remembers what it was like to be young and have to prove yourself.Life in lower Taris meant scraping by on the breadcrumbs of the rich.It meant survival and swoop gangs and violence and disease.So she respects the attitudes that these people must display.She does not, nor will she ever, tolerate an attempt on her life.

The men fall from the rafters, blasters firing but she’d already heard them; already deflected all of the blasts back to their original targets.They’d been dead the moment they’d acted.It takes less than a second, the tall male Sith commander by her side, Forceless and thus hardly very useful, startling violently in the time it takes the men to kill themselves.

Kaznia sighs and retracts her blade, looking disdainfully at her companion.As the leader here on Taris she supposes having the man around would make her job easier, but his lack of a spine is making her want to hurt him.Badly.

“Who are these men?”

“Vulkars my Lord; a prominent lower city gang.They are um… swoop bike racers my Lord.”

Boring.

“Why did they attack me?”She resumes her walk, heading towards the elevator to the Undercity and the starting point of this mess.

Commander Crex rushes to keep up and Kaznia has to fight the urge to roll her eyes; a Sith commander who rushes around at the behest of _anyone_ is not worthy of the title.Everything in her tells her to kill this man and put them both out of his misery but she doesn’t.For all of his bumbling ineptitude, he knows Taris and she does not.

But as soon as his usefulness has run its course…

“The swoop gangs are random my Lord.We had a few patrols attacked simply for being in the wrong place at the wrong time.”

“There is no wrong place for a Sith, Crex.This pitiful planet is ours; these gangs are on _our_ territory.”

“Well yes… but sometimes it’s also so that they can steal Sith weapons and uniforms.Getting around the levels requires specific credentials and—”

His words cut off as abruptly as Kaznia stops walking, her eyes burning as she allows the heat to overtake her.They’ve made it to the elevator now but Kaznia makes no move to get in, doesn’t even acknowledge the guard at the lift’s entrance.

“Are you telling me, Commander, that your troops are being attacked by thugs while you sit around in your parlor and wish it all away?”

“No, My Lord!I—”

Her lip curls in disgust as the man is flung back and away from her.She doesn’t use her heat vision, doesn’t incinerate him where he stands, but she does use enough of her Force abilities that he is thrown fifteen feet through the air, landing haphazardly in front of a group of oddly dressed men.

The aliens look from the crumpled body to her and back, but she does nothing.

Those aliens had looked like thugs, like these swoop gang members Crex had spoken about.Allowing them to do whatever they wanted to him would be a small justice for the troops that Crex had sacrificed in his idiocy.

Kaznia steps into the elevator, the doors sliding shut as the men converge on Crex.

~*~

Kaznia’s reconnaissance of the Under City takes less than an hour and Brainiac falls to her lightsaber in half that time.Unfortunately, since she had rescinded Crex’s privileges as her guide, she was unprepared for the inner fighting’s of the civilians.As she is leaving the small mud hut that had once been a lab of the Legion, she hears yelling and cries of fright.

Normally she would ignore such blatant signs of barbarity, but then she hears something that gives her pause.

A cry of help from a young voice.

_Kas!_

A sharp pain echoes through her skull, sending her staggering back into a wall.

_Kas, Kas, Kas._

She’s in front of another mud construction before she realizes what she’s doing, a group of filthy humans pulling a child from the hut while he screams for help.At their lead was an old woman carrying a stick and chanting in a language that Kaznia does not understand.Not that it matters.

For any of them.

Killing had never brought her any enjoyment; it was a means to an end, a tool in her arsenal that she now uses without prejudice.Normal people can be punished, rehabilitated to know their place below her, but these mindless animals are vermin.They need to be cut down quickly to avoid spreading the disease of their idiocy to the general population.Her saber would be dangerous in such a close quarters battle, there is a high chance that one of the pests would harm the child.Instead she calls upon the Force, bending the energy coursing through her to her will and sending directed currents to each of the assailants.Eighteen in total; all lifted into the air, all wriggling around and clawing at their necks.

A useless exercise, Kaznia thinks, her head tilting in contemplation as she thinks of the best way to do this.One man jerks around so much that he snaps his own neck, his wildly kicking legs going limp in the chokehold she has on him.

Ah, finally someone helpful.

Her fingers flick towards her palm and the man’s fellows join him in death, the simultaneous neck breaks creating a small _snapping_ sound.It makes her feel dirty for all of thirty seconds before her eyes land on the child again and something settles within her.

He’s small, clothed in rags and dirt and something Kaznia is sure is meant to be a hat.Compared to the bodies she has just dropped to the ground, he actually seems well dressed.No where near prepared for the harsh environments of the Under City but at least dressed enough that he won’t freeze.

It’s something.

With his brown hair and brown eyes, he’s hardly much to take in but her heart still thrums with the one name she’d remembered from her past.

_Kas._

A remnant of a time when someone had loved her; she believes whoever that person is, they’d been trying to save her.All Kaznia has ever known is the Sith, her Master having found her after the Jedi abandoned the children at the Temple on Coruscant.It had been a massacre and somehow, Kaznia had been the lone survivor, but she knows she’d had a life before that.A life that had been burned away and buried in the rubble.

Somehow she knows that, whoever that voice was, it would want her to help this boy.

And, seeing as he had held no role in the destruction of Kaznia’s world and posed no threat to the Legion as it stood, she had no reason not to.The Sith held to the code of the Rule of Two; the Force within this boy that had allowed his cry to reach her ears was weak.

There may yet be ways around that.

Time would tell.

“What is your name?”She asks, lifting the child with a touch of the Force and bringing him floating towards her.

When he swallows, the bob in his throat is clearly visible and his pupils are dilated in fear.She’ll have to train that out of him.

“M-Mikhail.”

~*~

Kara’s contact takes less than 30 minutes to replicate the formula, the droid Kara had assaulted earlier being a super powered machine obsessed with anti-venom replication.Claire’s words not hers.Alex had remained content to sit off to the side, ears and eyes open for any intruders while pretending not to listen to Kara and Claire whisper about her polarity theory.Claire appears to have gained a grudging respect for Alex’s mind if not her person.

Alex had taken the time they were chatting it up to tend to her wounds.Her wrists had been burning for what felt like hours now, and Claire has a large basin and a shit ton of medical supplies.Bracing herself, Alex had gritted her teeth and run her wrists under warm water, nearly crying at the sting as she flushes out the wounds.

Somehow, Kara must have heard her though and the blonde easily separates herself from Claire to help Alex.She doesn’t say anything, which Alex is grateful for, but she does send Alex cautious looks every time she thinks she’s been too rough.

It’s endearing, if not extremely slow.

Eventually, Alex is completely bandaged.Her wrists and head lac treated and on the way to recovery.The giant bruise her body has become from being thrown off the Lower City Balcony?There’s not much she can do about that, but Kara does shoot her with a medpac and that at least takes the edge off of her pain.

Claire sees what they’re doing, and Alex watches her nonchalantly toss Kara another five medpacs to stash in her bag.

Kara takes them without complaint.

Now they’re safely back with their main group, a case of several vials of formula gifted to them so that they might be dispersed to the Undercity dwellers.Alex has the ones they’ll probably need for Maggie’s family, as well as a few spares for the rest of them, tucked into the bag strapped to her thigh.

Her blaster in hand, aimed and ready, Alex follows closely behind Kara, watching avidly for any enemy combatants.

They’ve just re-entered the sewers, the case of anti-venom safely deposited with the Undercity Village leader Gendar.Kara had made a big deal of meeting with the man, insisting that _he_ was not the one responsible for Alex’s near demise by rotisserie.Seeing him in person, Alex had had to agree.Gendar had seemed sane and level-headed if nothing else, and he’d been preparing to lead his people to some weird “promised land”.

The news had excited Kara and literally no one else.

Not wanting to incite Maggie’s wrath, Alex had urged the group on, allowing Kara a quick goodbye before heading towards the sewers.

The dank, nasty, smelly, wet sewers.

Alex is left wondering if Kate had chosen this hiding spot as a final ‘fuck you’ to Maggie.If maybe she’d gotten bitten, realized it and had decided that as final payback she was going to make sure Maggie and her band of merry people died in squalor.

It seemed fitting.

Kara stopping somewhat abruptly in front of her draws her from her thoughts.The other woman has one hand raised high, palm flat, brows furrowed as she peaks around a corner.

Alex presses her back against the wall, leaning her head as close to Kara’s as possible so that she won’t be overheard.

“What is it?”She whispers, unwilling to out herself and their party by peeking around Kara.Whatever it is, the blonde can clearly see it.

She also kindly decides to ignore the way Kara shivers, the way her eyelids flutter before she regains control of herself.Alex is beginning to believe that there’s a lot more to this girl than meets the eye.

“There’s a squadron of Gamorrheans patrolling the corridor we need to go down.Kate and Jamie are a ten-minute walk passed them.”

“How many total?”

“Four.”

Alex nods, “I’ve got this.”

Before Kara can say anything else, Alex is sprinting passed her.She uses the rusty guard rails as a launching point, swinging her legs towards the closest alien and wrapping them around him in a chokehold.The momentum from her body allows her to bend backwards and perform a pseudo pile driver.

His buddies look up too late, Alex shooting the closest two with enhanced stunners from her wrist launcher, before ducking under the axe of the last one.There’s no way she’ll be able to square off mano a mano, so instead, she drives her dagger through his foot.

A sharp hissing sound signals that Kara has joined the fray, her staff smacking down on the oaf’s head before he can so much as scream in pain.Alex’s stun baton is in her hand in the next second and the gamorrhean falls over face first, Kara guiding him to quiet the noise.

Alex huffs as she stands, surveying the damage and listening to make sure they haven’t alerted anyone else of their whereabouts.

Maggie and Winn come up beside them, Winn flashing a thumbs up to show the coast is clear.

A welcome relief since Alex is kind of doubting her skills at the moment.It had been her fault that the Sith had gained that intel on Maggie’s family.It might have even been her fault that Maggie had been captured.

Not directly of course but there were spies everywhere, somehow someone had been tipped off and it had led them to this point.

It’s only marginally suspicious that they had met Kara and Winn after that.Eyes narrowing, she glances up only to be met with wide blue eyes, Kara’s brows lifted, and mouth parted just so.

“That was so cool.”The blonde breathes, eyes never leaving Alex’s face.“Where did you learn how to _fight_ like that?”

“The Academy.”

Kara’s face drops, a grimace pulling at her mouth.“The Jedi Academy was destroyed along with anyone in it.I find it a little hard to believe that you trained there.”

Taking a moment to clean her dagger, Alex forces her tired mind to process those words and take Kara in again.Blonde hair the color of straw, nearly completely dried out and frizzed, in a half up, half down do.Her face is devoid of any makeup and she looks a little pale; a little too thin.Kara’s outfit consists of what Alex now sees is a blue body suit.There are traces of gold stitching that Alex could have sworn was white before and its thick, more suitable to yarn than thread.On her shoulders are dark red pauldrons; her forearms are circled by dark red bracers; and her knees and calves are covered in dark red greaves.All of which looks near pristine; so much so that if Alex hadn’t seen her fight, she’d wonder if the gear had ever actually seen combat. Kara’s outfit is completed by a set of red boots that match the color of her armor, and a gold belt cinched tight at her waist.

She has no other possessions but her watch, a small bag at her waist, and her staff.

Winn is much the same.He’s about the same height as Alex is, maybe the same height as Kara actually which would put him at around 5’8”.He’s dressed in darker and less ostentatious clothes than his companion, with a brown leather jacket, green t-shirt, and black pants.He’s wearing standard issue black boots but where he differs from an army man is the sheer amount of tech attached to his person.He has a watch like Kara, a tablet in hand, and a bag chock full of electronics if the odd wiring poking out is anything to go by.

Neither of these people are subtle.

Neither of them seems to be very good at keeping a low profile.

But they’re both seemingly smart as hell and extremely resourceful and, given Kara’s statement, a lot more knowledgeable than most people.

“How do you know that?”Alex questions, carefully cleaning her dagger with a rag she’d pulled from her pocket.

Winn hitting Kara’s shoulder increases Alex’s suspicion and she sighs internally.She was really starting to like these two.

“Who are you?”She questions, taking a step closer to Maggie and coincidentally, away from Kara.If this ends in a fight, she wants to be as far out of Kara’s staff’s reach as possible.

Maggie, however, doesn’t seem to be reading the situation very well.“Now?” she hisses to Alex, although her hand does tighten on her blaster.“You want to do this now?”

“Do you really want mercs finding your family?”

“We’re not mercenaries!”Kara exclaims, hands flailing as she emphatically shakes her head.

“Then how did you know that there were no survivors from the attack on the Academy?”

Kara’s face goes dark, her eyes emptying of their normal cheer and lips thinning over clenched teeth.

“That’s none of your business.”Winn butts in, stepping in front of his friend.He glares at Alex for a full minute before scowling and turning back to Kara.“Come on Kara, let’s—”

Alex drops into a low spinning kick, Winn’s legs flying out from under him and a loud girly cry escaping his lungs.

Her blaster is in her hand, pointed down at his startled face while Kara’s staff rests dangerously close to her neck.She knows without looking that Maggie has her own weapon aimed at Kara’s head.

Exhaling slowly, Alex places her foot on Winn’s chest.

“Last chance kid.What team are you on?”

“The good one.”Kara says evenly, serious for once.“We want to end this war.The sooner the better.And I know about the Academy because that’s where my sister died.”

“ _Kara_.”Groaning, Winn drops his head back in a rather dramatic fashion.“No information.We talked about this!”

“I’d rather she knows a small thing about my past than to have to knock her out.”

Maggie snorts and Alex hears the faint hum of her blaster change pitch.The sound of a charge change.Maggie just switched to lethal.

“You wouldn’t have the chance.”

Kara ignores her.“Please Alex; I’m asking you to trust me.Please don’t… I don’t want to hurt you.”

The words would have made Lucy pull the trigger.Hell, they probably would have made _Maggie_ pull the trigger but… there’s something about Kara.Something about her _person_ that Alex can’t quite shake.

Looking up into those blue eyes…

Alex doesn’t want to hurt Kara either.

Already cursing herself to high heaven, she sighs and holsters her gun, pointing a finger at Kara in warning.“If you make one wrong move—”

“I won’t. I swear.”

“Then truce.”Alex sticks her hand out to shake and is glad when Kara accepts it.“For now.But I _will_ want answers eventually.”

Kara gives her a tight smile.“Promise.”

Stepping over Winn, Alex gestures down the path.“Then let’s go collect the ladies.”

~*~

They continue their journey and Winn’s tracker leads them down a corridor that looks like its own mini dwelling.

“It’s the entrance to the swoop bike gangs hideouts.”Winn tells them quietly.“This is where they go to escape the patrols.”

Maggie nods, glances around and, seeing no obvious threats, makes her move.The corridor they’re in is clearly the one that Kate and Jamie had been in the last time they’d seen them.

The deep brown wood of Kara’s staff halts her forward momentum the same way she had done before, the weapon stopping inches from Maggie’s chest while Kara stares at something none of the rest of them can see.

“I would draw my weapons if I were you ma’am.”

Maggie grabs her blaster, thumbing over to her lethal charges and squinting down the hall.“You can see them?”

Kara ignores her, mouth pinching in displeasure.“Winn… have you located a viable ship yet?”

“Ah, there are three—”

“We have one.”Maggie interrupts, grabbing Alex’s arm when she expects Alex to protest.“Alex has the fastest ship in the galaxy.You help us get my daughter and we’ll get you off the planet.”

Lips thinning, Kara tilts her head just so, the blue in her eyes taking on an otherworldly glow.“Wait for my signal.”

Then she’s gone, disappearing into the rafters above them without so much as a whisper.

Holy.

Shit.

“She’s a Kryptonian.”Alex breathes, barely having time to process that before a rumbling growl makes its way down the hall.Whatever is down there, whatever Kara had been looking at—because Kara had been looking _at_ something, Kryptonians can look through _walls_ —it was big.And angry.

Please don’t be a rancor.

Please don’t be a rancor.

They all wait in tense silence, Maggie and Alex with drawn pistols and Winn looking like he was about to pee himself.Definitely not the muscle.

The entire hallway is eerily silent except for the hungry snarls from whatever beast the Sith are employing.At least Alex thinks it’s the Sith.It might be a whole new can of what the fuck.With her luck it would be _two_ cans.

Above them, a swoop engine roars, meaning that Winn’s earlier statement of this being swoop gang territory is factual.A glowing blue energy shield sparkles faintly over an open doorway to their right and Alex nudges Winn, tilting her chin to point it out to him.

“Can you get that down?”

“Yeah, but then we’d have to fight off a really pissed off gang.”

“We just need to use their elevator.”

Winn gives her a bland look.“We’re not all as fast as you.”

“Then stay close.”Alex whispers, holding up a frag grenade.

Winn eyes the grenade, looks at her, and then nods.He’s nose deep in his tablet a few seconds later and Alex returns her attention to the corridor Kara had disappeared down.

Her feet hurt and her calves are on fire.She shifts her weight to the right one to try to give the left a break.A nice soak sounds heavenly right now.She’ll appreciate getting back to the Ebon Hawk, her quarters would have everything she needed.

Including fresh clothes because if that smell was _her…_ she’d need to bathe for at least a week to remove the stink.

There’s movement in front of her and Alex shoots, the Sith guard dropping a hairs breath before Maggie takes out his fellow.They continue shooting and it’s kind of like fish in a barrel until Alex realizes that the soldiers aren’t attacking _them_ , they’re _fleeing._

A deafening roar blows down the hall, pressing against Alex’s chest and making her hair whip against her face.Winn drops to his knees, one hand slamming over his ear while the other types even faster.Alex wants to join him but, with the sheer amount of danger they’re in, that isn’t a viable option.

She wants to run down that hall and get Maggie’s kid but the way the Sith keep retreating backwards tells her that it’s a bad idea.Whatever they’re attention is on is deadly and, until she knows what that is, she shouldn’t risk engaging.Not when the stakes are so high.If Kara is coming down that way, then the best Alex can do for her is make sure the way stays clear.

That’s when she sees her.

Whoever had taught this kid how to fight had done a damn good job.

Kara is dancing around two wolf-like creatures, their jaws snapping at her as she twirls her staff and smashes one of them in the snout.Maggie has aimed and fired at the other before it can snag its teeth in the precious cargo Kara has clinging to her back.

There’s another battle cry and then a redhead is slamming into the Sith _behind_ Kara’s escape, grappling with them with her bare hands.Maggie’s breath hitches and she refocuses her attention to shooting the Sith attacking who Alex assumes is Kate.

Alex just tries to keep the other guys distracted.

Not that she really needs to, Kara seems to be fighting the wolves _and_ the Sith and doing a damn good job at both.

Kara side steps a lunge from one snarling creature and brings her staff down hard on the back of another one’s head.Her arms swing and a Sith soldier loses his helmet, a hard jab to his face knocking him out.Alex shoots a Sith sneaking up behind Kara at the same time the girl on Kara’s back shouts a warning.Kara barely gets her arm up in time to prevent her throat from being ripped out.

Which was odd because the move left her back open and the other wolf-thing _still_ went after Kara.Like… like their sole focus was—

Alex shoots at the wolf running towards Kara’s leg, buying precious seconds that Kara needs to pull apart her energy shield and redirect the current into the one that has latched on to her bicep.It drops with a sharp whine.Before Alex knows it, Kara has slammed her staff into the snout of the last wolf with so much power that it causes blood to spurt from the wolf’s snout.

Another blast from her makeshift energy shield blaster and the growls end abruptly.

~*~

“My Lord!”A Sith trooper runs up to her as soon as her boots are on the main floor of her Star Destroyer, his eyes panicked even as he forces discipline into the rest of his body.“The Rebels are on Taris!They have the plans and are—”

“Kill them.”

She continues walking, the hand of the child held tightly in hers as she leads them towards the dormitories.After all, she can hardly be expected to train someone who smells like a pile of Bantha dung.

“Yes, of course my Lord it is just that our ground forces have not been able to contain them.”

Kaznia hums and changes direction, heading towards the bridge instead.Commander Coville stands at the helm, his posture rigid as he turns to greet her with a slight bow.

“Lord Kaznia.”

“Tell all ships to fire on the planet.Heavy ordinance.”She orders, ignoring the inquisitive glances that Mikhail is receiving.The boy tucks in closer to her side, barely coming up passed her hip as he attempts to hide under her heavy cloak.“Destroy it.”

While there are shocked gazes and barely concealed gasps from her crew, none of them second guess her.Coville actually smiles, bowing even deeper in his reverence.An older man, Coville had always been more than happy to obey Kaznia’s every order.He was a relic of the past, obsessed with her Kryptonian ancestry and the religion of her lost people.It suited her fine since he saw her as some sort of messiah.Made this part easier.

Kaznia may have a distaste for killing but that sort of repulsion would only displease her Master.If she displeased her Master than he would have her punished or killed and any opportunity she had for destroying the Jedi would be gone.Kaznia may not be an apprentice anymore but she wasn’t stupid.There were certain sacrifices she was willing to make.

The filth of Taris could burn for all she cared.

“Whatever you command my Lord.”

~*~

Alex lowers her weapon just slightly.She seriously doubts that those things are dead but for the moment the danger has passed, and she needs to get them an exit.Hauling Winn to his feet, she gestures at the shielded entrance again and, with a few more strokes, the energy shield is down.

Maggie and Kate are finishing off the last of the Sith soldiers when Kara rejoins their group, staggering over to them in time for Winn to shield her from the blast of Alex’s frag grenade.

Almost immediately, they all start running, leaping over startled gang members and following Alex—who can tell you the ins and outs of any bad guy hideout ever—to the elevator.She was fairly certain bad guys—Sith, mercenaries, _slavers_ —all used the same interior designer so it’s simple to find the thing.

It’s even simpler to activate it with Winn on their side.The brunette has the elevator shooting into the air in no time, the recovered gang members and Sith troops shouting and shooting as they rocket towards the Lower City.

Kara is clutching tight to the walls of the elevator, her fingers leaving indented prints in the metal as she tries to keep herself stable.Even Alex, well used to such harrowing escapes, finds that she is not balanced and is extremely grateful when the elevator lurches to a stop.

It’s more like a crash, but they all make it out only mildly bruised.The sounds of angry shouts and thundering footsteps alerts them that, hurt as they are, they will have no time to dwell.

Winn drags them all towards the swoop bikes, more Sith running out from the elevators on the opposite side of the city as they make their escape.

Maggie grabs her daughter from Kara and jumps on the back of a bike, gunning off with Myx, the drone Lucy is still powering, as her guide. Kate is not far behind her.

Winn has steered Kara towards a landspeeder and Alex curses when Kara nearly falls over the side.She grabs the blonde by the scruff of the neck moments before her demise and yanks her down into a seat.Winn makes a noise of protest when Alex shoves him away from the controls into the back of the cabin, her hands moving even as she tries talking to a perspiring Kara.

“Hey!Kid!Stay awake ok?We just have to get to the ship.Just stay the hell awake.”

Kara’s eyes flutter as Winn tears Alex’s bandana from her neck and wraps it around Kara’s arm, cutting off the circulation and hopefully the poison streaming through Kara’s body.

Alex flips the ignition switch and slams her foot on the thruster pedal moments after the first blaster fire reaches them.

Swallowing a cry of pain as her shoulder reacts to the new injury, she steers them away from danger, switching gears and maneuvering the speeder so that she easily outruns the others.Lucy’s already waiting for them when they reach the Ebon Hawk and Alex doesn’t even stop the vehicle, driving right up the hanger into the back of her ship before killing the engine.

The girl next to her is shivering now, a white foam bubbling at her lips, and Alex curses as she unstraps herself and hauls Kara over her shoulder before running towards the med bay.She’ll have to trust Lucy to get them the hell off this planet.

“Shit!”Lucy runs through the hallway, flipping switches as she goes.She’s putting everything they have into thrusters, including their defense systems.

“You’re gonna get us killed!” Alex yells, voice muffled as she pulls the cap off an antidote pen with her teeth and stabs Kara in the arm with it.When nothing happens, she grabs a second one and does the same thing.

“They’re gonna fire on the whole damn the planet!”Lucy yells back, already in the pilot’s seat and closing the hatch.“Hold on!”

Alex sends a panicked glance over her shoulder and is relieved to see that her group is all accounted for and looking for places to strap in.Turning her attention back to Kara, who is unconscious at this point but no longer on the verge of a seizure, Alex reaches for the belts on the table, securing Kara in place before diving towards the seat in the corner.She’s barely gotten one lock in place before she has to hold on for dear life, Lucy maneuvering them through the blockade and past danger.

The ship is shaking, bolts rattling from the g-force being used and, when the creaks start, Alex just knows Lucy is going to destroy her ship in this suicide escape.Fucking hell, she just hoped she fell asleep before they blew up.

There’s a bright light, the sound of several screams, and then overwhelming silence.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fun Fact: I wrote the bit about Alex being smelly well before the show. I win the imaginary prize of creativity.
> 
> Claire is the Claire from the Marvel Netflix universe. A nod to my beloved cancelled shows. Also, she got off planet in case anyone is wondering.
> 
> We get introduced to Kaznia who, much like in the show, has no memory of her life. All she can remember is someone calling her name. Kas. :) And she gets a Mikhail! In Star Wars, Darth Vader or Lord Vader was the apprentice of Darth Sideous the ruler of all the Sith peoples. But he was allowed an apprentice (multiple) and I don't remember why and I was too lazy to look it up so... in this story, Kaznia can take on an apprentice because she's graduated from her apprenticeship? Like she's still under the Cisar (emperor in Serbian, very original I know) but she does her own thing. She is also the right hand so she doesn't answer to anyone. For clarity's sake, we go more in depth but whatevs.
> 
> The Hounds that attack Kara are taken from Star Wars lore. I won't go too in depth here but if you know what they are you can kind of see where I'm going with this.
> 
> Winn and Kara are being secretive for a reason. That will take a while to come out. We get bits and pieces until it just slams into us.
> 
> This is also the sort of end of KOTOR Canon I guess? If you played the game this is where the story diverges and we do our own thing. New territory, yay. Side bar, this is also the part in the story where I said F it when trying to figure out where I fit in the SW timeline so that's why we diverge. Nothing personal, just lack of planning and laziness. lol.
> 
> Anyway, hope you liked it. More sporadic updates to come. :)


	6. Ch 4: That time they didn't die

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alex multitasks.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've dropped the song titles as chapter titles. They'll still happen probably because I love music but my brain isn't focused enough to try to ick a song for every chapter.
> 
> Um... this chapter is just character building but enjoy.

“Your ship is over run and broken.”

Alex tries not to scowl as she swings herself past Maggie, who’s sporting a nasty cut along her eyebrow from where one of the ceiling panels dropped and hit her in the head.

“Would you prefer the decimated planet?”Just the thought of Taris, of all those people, cannibal or not, being thoughtlessly murdered… it sets Alex on edge.Reminds her why she joined this fight in the first place.“How’d they catch you anyway?”

“Staged fight at the lower city cantina.”Maggie admits, unbuckling herself but waving her daughter back into her seat.Alex doesn’t blame her, they’re hardly stable right now and who knows what the terrain is like.They could easily start sliding down a mountain for all she knows.While Alex pulls out the panel that houses the ships diagnostics computer, Maggie starts pushing ceiling tiles back in place.“I stepped in to save the pretty girl as usual and woke up bound and gagged.Usually that spells fun, but I’m a taken woman now.This is the wife, Kate,” she gestures towards the badass redhead and then her daughter, “and this is Jamie.”

Alex tips her head towards them both.“Pleasure to meet you both.”

“You got any holo-lights?”Kate asks, also moving from her seat and squinting against the randomly timed sparks.“I’d like to get a better idea of where we are.”

Alex nods towards a cabinet to her right and goes back to reading over the ship’s logs.

Looking at the report… they might be here for a while.Cursing under her breath, she grips the doorframe on either end and swings herself over the destroyed floor where what looks like a tree branch has taken residence.The ship doesn’t sway so she’s assuming they’re secure enough that they can move around.

“Luce?You good up there?”

Lucy is clutching her face, grimace pulling her lips down and out as she glares at Alex.“You just had to go for the kid.”

“ _You_ agreed that we should go for the kid and besides that, we saved 5 lives.That’s a win.”Alex pulls a penlight out of her pocket and shines it in Lucy’s eyes.No blood, pupils dilate fine, heavy bruising along her nose and eyes.“Your nose is broken.”

“No shit.”

Alex hums, moving the light to her mouth before quickly snapping Lucy’s nose back in place.

“You _bitch!_ ” Lucy hisses, hands gingerly cupping her nose and mouth while she blinks back tears.“I hate you.”

Ignoring her, Alex flips her shirt up, making sure there’s no bruising that may indicate internal bleeding.“You’ll be fine.Do you know where you landed us?”

“Closest planet I could find.No name in the computer though, we’ll have to cross check the coordinates to the maps and captain’s logs.”

Alex nods and moves back into the main body of the ship; first things first is to restore the power.They’ll be sitting ducks without the Ebon Hawk’s defense system.

She grabs a terrified looking Winn as she passes by the passenger bay again, pulling him after her as she climbs down to the electrical room.

Sliding down the ladder, she glances up at Winn, pulling wires from the main cells and reading the auxiliary batteries.“I saw you with that tablet, how good are you with electronics.”

“Um pretty good.”

“Great.This,” she gestures to the left and top panels, “is fried.It’s the main board.Normally when we lose power in our main system, the backup kicks in.But we’re going to have to manually switch over.You do that by—”

Winn slides down and squeezes between her and the panel.“I’ve got this.”

Alex regards him for a moment before nodding slowly.“Don’t break my ship.”

“You already did that.”Kindly, she chooses to ignore Winn’s muttered words.

Getting out of the small hole is a hassle. Winn really should have waited for her to get _out_ before he got _in._ But he’s new so she’ll forgive him.After that it’s a small matter of rerouting the ship’s functions to auxiliary—they may not be up yet, but it will save time later once Winn has everything back online—snooping through Winn’s bags for anything incriminating and making herself a sandwich.

All that had been in Winn’s bag was a journal where he waxed poetic about some guy named ‘James’.Nothing of any import.There’d been some nutrition bars, an assortment of tools and random tech parts, and nothing else.

Searching Kara had proven to be no more fruitful; the antidote had done its job if the sweating was any indication.Alex had found that, although it had seemingly looked like a one piece, Kara’s outfit was actual a two piece: a top and pants.It works in her favor because Alex is then able to strip her armor, boots, and pants off to help alleviate some of the heat that her body is giving off.She’s extremely grateful to discover that Kara is wearing underwear and she gently lays a thin sheet over her to protect her modesty.

Rifling through the small bag Kara had been carrying around doesn’t yield any further theories on good or bad intentions, it holding only countless random baubles.All with the same star theme.A snow globe of a solar system, a star pendant, a petrified star fish from the planet Terra…

There was obviously some sort of obsession.

Which wasn’t Alex’s business nor her concern at the moment.Her concern was getting back to the Rebels and coming up with a new game plan.They had to suss out if Brainiac had succeeded in sending out his plans to the Legion, the criminal operation of Sith that had beleaguered the galaxy.Alex isn’t sure how or why the war had started, just that it had been won by the Sith when they’d destroyed the Jedi Academy on Coruscant.Where Kara had said her sister had died.Well before Alex’s birth.

The Sith had attacked the academy without prejudice, wiping out an entire generation of Jedi by slaughtering children.Once that atrocity had been committed, they’d set about hunting down the adults.Somehow, they’d gathered sympathizers in the Senate, making any planetary government that would move against them vulnerable to their many allies.The Council, comprised of Jedi and rebels alike, had received intel that there were a few well placed Sith amongst the Senate but while they had theories, they also had no concrete evidence.

And without evidence, any move they made would seem like an act of desperation.They needed to appear strong when they made their move; certain.Those blueprints would have helped with that.If they could prove that Brainiac had been hired by the Sith to create a weapon that could wipe out planets at will, then the senate would be forced to act.

If Brainiac had already sent out his plans, then their timeline would need to move up and she and Lucy would need their own plan on reclaiming those schematics.

Whatever else happened, the Legion could not be allowed to discharge that weapon.

Having decided that the newcomers posed no threat to their efforts outside of their own ridiculousness, Alex sets her mind to things she can control.Kate comes back and tells her they’re on solid ground, not in the canopy like Alex had originally feared, and that they’re close to a river.Which is lucky.Rivers usually mean life.

Kate’s brought back a water sample to test and Alex has just brought her to the small lab area when Winn gets the power back up.

They’re not off to a bad start.

~*~

Alex is in the engine bay when Kara wakes up.She’d been in and out of the infirmary since Lucy had flung them through hyperspace and crash landed them on some backwater planet inhabited by a shit ton of blood sucking insects.

Not that she’s bitter or anything.

She would have just preferred it if her ship had stayed in one piece.And if she weren’t literally being eaten alive by bugs.

No biggie.

To be fair, this new attitude had only set in when morning had come, and all of the aches and pains of a crash landing had made themselves known.Also the bugs.The bugs had definitely not helped.

She’s currently elbows deep in crud, black oil running the length of her bared forearms while Lucy holds the heat shield away from her hands.Her fingers have just brushed the main turbine when Kara appears in the doorway, her bedhead atrocious, bags under her eyes, and a beaming smile firmly in place.

“Hi.Thank you for saving me.”

Alex nods, focusing back on her task.“We had a deal: you save the kid; we get you off planet.I keep my word.”

Not that that had been the _only_ reason that she had allowed the odd pair on her ship.Aside from the obvious reason of Kara and Winn having very critical data that the rebellion needed… there’s something about Kara, and by extension Winn, that makes her want to protect them.It’s probably the naiveté that Kara displays so often.Alex worries that abandoning her would spell near certain doom.Like the alien had stumbled into the middle of a plot that she was not cut out for.

She ignores the part where Kara had not seemed to need her assistance once since they had met.

The turbine doesn’t come out easy, and Alex grimaces when she feels the internal screws and broken shards of metal pull at her gloves.At least she’d remembered to wear them this time, the last time she’d had to take apart the engine, her hands had not forgiven her.

A sharp whap sounds right before the heat shield hits her forearm.Alex yelps, almost dropping the damn turbine as her arm goes momentarily numb.The glare she throws at Lucy is returned with an innocent smile.

“So sorry, my hands slipped.”Her friend turns to Kara with a more genuine smile.“Don’t mind her, she’s always a bear when her baby is sick.How are you feeling Kara?”

The blonde shrugs and sits down on the hangar steps.The way she leans heavily against the door frame makes Alex frown.Even having known her for a little over two days now, seeing the blonde anything but active and hyper seems extremely wrong.

“I’ve been better.Do you know where Winn is?”

“Maggie took him hunting.Kate went to scout the area and that left me and Alex to try to get this tin can up and running again.”

Offended, but realizing she’d already seemed like enough of an ass for one day, Alex can only mutter under her breath as she starts rebuilding the turbine on her workbench.“It’s _not_ a tin can. _You_ threw it into hyperdrive before the engine was primed and nearly split us apart.”

Lucy flicks her ear.“I’m gonna go make us some lunch.Any preferences?”

“Stir-fry.”

A nod and Lucy is disappearing back into the main body of the ship.Kara remains on the steps and Alex focuses on fixing the engine.

Almost 45 minutes later and the turbine looks as good as new.Taking in her work with her hands on her hips, proud smile in place, she turns to go tell Lucy she’s ready to put the beautiful thing back in place when she spots Kara.

Geeze, she looks even younger than she had before.

Kara’s asleep, slouched against the doorframe with her bandaged arm cradled protectively to her chest.Alex can still see the mangled mess the limb had been in her mind’s eye.Fortunately, Kryptonians were rumored to heal quickly, so Alex wasn’t too worried about infection.She’d have to keep a close eye on it of course, but the odds of it falling off were low.

Still, there’s something about seeing Kara like this, vulnerable and hurt, that makes her itch.

Now that she has time to actually look at the girl, Alex is kind of surprised by what she sees.Kara is blonde, but her hair is… dry seems to be the politest word she can come up with.It’s almost straw like in nature and the two foremost strands are braided and tied back away from her slightly sunburned face.She has a strong jaw, a bit out of place on a woman, but somehow suited to Kara and a nose that… is a nose.Her clothes look like they’ve seen better days, but she doesn’t smell which means, while she may have been living rough, away from hair or skin products or maybe even proper nutrition, she’s at least been able to stay clean.

Interesting.

Frowning, Alex grabs a nearby rag and wipes down the skin exposed by the tank top she’s wearing, probably making the grease smears worse.It’s not like that really matters at the moment, her goal is to make the gunk nontransferable.Not to make it disappear.

Because after saving Maggie’s daughter, Jamie—hell, honestly after saving probably _all_ of them, that was a hell of a lot of Sith to take on solo—the kid deserved to at least be comfortable.Unfortunately, said kid is surprisingly heavy, and the tendons in Alex’s neck strain in protest when she lifts her higher to alleviate some of the pressure on her arms.

Alex's still aching body does _not_ forgive her for this.

Where did Kara even keep all of this weight?

No way this was all muscle.It didn’t look like either Kara or Winn had seen a workout room in their lives.

Marching steadfastly towards the bunks, intent on not jostling Kara any more than her protesting arms can stand, Alex is unprepared for when Kara curls further into her.A soft snore slipping passed her lips.

Great, as if the girl wasn’t weird enough as it was, she apparently also snored.Slightly out of breath, Alex lays her down on a bunk and throws a blanket over her.

Being as gentle as possible, she unwinds the bandage on Kara’s arm, winces at the torn flesh and sets about cleaning it.Kara surprisingly doesn’t stir during the process and Alex finishes by rewrapping the wound with a fresh bandage.There’s no sign of infection so that’s good.

She’d give it another day before Kara is fully healed.Not a bad timeline.They should be fully operational in another day or so, so it wasn’t a huge setback.

Besides, she still wanted to know who the hell Kara and Winn were.

Seeing Winn and his mousy behavior, Alex wasn’t too worried about Maggie.With the way Winn had gone down in the sewers, she can’t rightfully consider him as dangerous.Unfortunately, she’d also been around long enough to know that lack of physical stature didn’t automatically translate to _safe._ She’d also been around long enough to trust her gut.

Her gut currently said that neither of the newbies were a threat.At least not to her.

It also said that it was hungry and let out a rough gurgle to prove the point.It’s a quick dip into the washroom to make sure she doesn’t ingest any engine particulates before she winds up in the small dining hall.She’s actually kind of happy it’s just her and Lucy otherwise there might not be enough room.

Lucy tosses her a beer when she enters, already sliding a steaming hot plate Alex’s way.

“So good guys?”

“Not sure.They’re definitely in some kind of trouble.”Taking a bite from the food reminds Alex why she keeps Lucy around.The girl can _cook._

“Explanation my taciturn friend.”

Alex rolls her eyes good naturedly and spears a carrot.“We went to get the data from Brainiac, right?Except Kara and Winn were already there.Kara said, “hold him down there”, do you remember that?”

“I believe she also said please but sure continue.”

“Well, I think she was talking about Brainiac.She knew she couldn’t face off against a heavy hitting android _and_ the Sith, so she had Winn keep him trapped.Which means that we probably just got Brainiac and his device blown to Kingdom come.”

Lucy frowns and takes a pull of her own beer, dropping into a stool across from Alex.“That’s cool and all but… it means nothing if Brainiac already sent the plans off to the Legion.”

“It doesn’t.”Alex shrugs and scowls at a particularly stubborn olive.“The thing is, it _would_ mean something if Winn downloaded the schematics.”

“So what?You wanna jump them?”

Alex huffs a laugh.“Hardly.Did you see how Kara moved?I’d be flattened.”

“Not in her current state.”

“Not a fair fight.”

“You and your code of honor.”Lucy grumps, a smirk tugging at her lips before smoothing into a thin line.“Alex, we need that information.”

Appetite suddenly lost; Alex rests her fists on the tops of her thighs.“I’m not hurting innocent people Luce.I won’t.”

“Even if it means the death of the Resistance?”

“Even then.”Alex meets Lucy’s glare head on, unphased when her friend huffs in annoyance and looks away.Picking up her fork again, Alex makes another try for the olive.“The good news is I don’t think we’ll have to work very hard to get that information.They both seem like they’re no friends of the Sith.Even if we need to pay them, I think they’ll cooperate.”

Lucy doesn’t say anything, and they sit in silence while Alex finishes her meal.

The veggies are just crisp enough for them to have that satisfying bite, but the flavors blend really well with the noodles Lucy had added in.It’s a major disappointment when her fork scrapes the bottom of her bowl.Maybe after everyone else has eaten there will still be leftovers.Definitely gonna keep Lucy around for life if she keeps cooking like this.

Interrupted from her inner musings by a loud ‘clank’, she tilts her chair at a dangerous angle to peek into the hall where Maggie is laughing at Winn.There are four furry creatures strung up on a stick on Maggie’s shoulder, but Winn has dropped an inordinate amount of fruits all over the bay floor.Jamie, tucked tight to her mother’s legs, looks on in concern as Winn scrabbles to pick everything back up.

Chair landing with a heavy thud, Alex gives Lucy a playful eyeroll before moving to help the small man.It wouldn’t do to be unkind to someone who’s help they may potentially need.

“Thanks,” Winn breathes, an uncertain smile on his face.“That last step is a doozy.”

Alex gives a noncommittal hum before motioning him towards the table.“Lucy can start picking this stuff apart for dinner but if you don’t mind, we’d like to have a conversation now.”

Eyes flitting between them all, Winn hugs the bag of fruit to his chest like a shield.“Um, where… where’s Kara?”

“She’s asleep,” Alex reclaims her chair, resting her elbows on the table in front of her.

Lucy rolls her eyes and elaborates while Maggie starts skinning the animals she’d caught.“Kara was up for a bit, but she fell right back out.Alex put her in one of the bunks.Poison looks like it’s worked its way through her system though.She seemed more alert.”

“She’ll be fine.”Tapping her fingers, Alex regards Winn impatiently.“Who are you both?”

“I…I don’t want to talk until Kara’s here.”

Nostrils flaring, Lucy slides off her stool and grabs a fresh pan and a spoon.

“Oh, sweet.”Maggie says, throwing down the first piece of cleaned meat.“You can start with—”

BANG!BANG! BANG!

“Rise and shine sweetheart!”Lucy doesn’t even try to sound kind as she shoves passed Winn on her way to the bunks, slamming the spoon against the back of the pan as she goes.“Wakey, wakey Kara!”

Winn’s jaw drops in shock, his eyes bulging as he looks over his shoulder.

Sighing, Alex can only lean back in her chair and shrug.“She was raised by humans.”

“So was I.”Winn mutters.

A few moments later, Kara stumbles back into the hall with Lucy in tow and that space issue Alex had been concerned about is in full play.Lucy is undeterred and maneuvers a sleepy Kara over to the stool Lucy had originally occupied, stopping behind her and massaging her shoulders.

“Hey Kara,” Lucy starts sickly sweet, “your friend Winn won’t talk to us without you present so how about you start with telling us who you are and why you were in Brainiac’s evil lair.”

“Oh.”Kara blinks sleepily, props her cheek up on her closed fist, and slouches forward.“I’m Kara and that’s a Winn.He’s muh best friend and we had to stop the Brain from taking over err-ting.”

“So, you’re working against Brainiac?”Lucy questions, leaning over Kara’s shoulder while everyone but Maggie looks distinctly uncomfortable.

“Mmhm. He’s a bad guy.And he was really mean to us.”

“How did you even know—”

“That’s enough Lucy.”Alex pushes her chair back, moving towards the lunch food still on the stove and doling out servings.

“You’re joking right?”Lucy says to her back, sounding incredulous.“We finally start getting information and you—”

Alex slides a plate to Winn, who fumbles with his produce bag to catch it before it goes off the table.“Yeah, I’m telling you to quit it.”She slides two more bowls towards Maggie and Jamie, before thumping a bowl in front of Kara.

The blonde’s head slumps forward and she almost face plants into the food before Lucy tugs her back.

“Alex—”

“I said quit it Luce.”Alex ignores the way Lucy’s cheeks redden and leans down to Kara, giving her a gentle shake.“Hey kid, eat up.Your body needs some fuel.”

Kara mumbles something and moves her injured hand towards the fork Alex holds out to her.Her arm spasms and the fork clatters to the table, causing a confused frown to mar the girl’s features.

“That’s ok.”Alex encourages, taking the fork herself, spearing some noodles, and grasping Kara’s other hand.“That hand is shit right now, try the other one.”

“You’re fucking kidding me, right?”

“Nope.”Alex says, lip curling as she watches Kara struggle to feed herself.It might have been kinder to give her one of their freeze dried packs.

Everyone else shifts, Jamie opting to leave the room entirely while Winn, red-faced and anxious, takes a step closer to Kara, eyes fixed on Lucy’s hands.Maggie, having dealt with both women before tries to be the voice of reason.

“Luce, maybe this can wait a little while?We’re all eating and—"

Eye’s turning a dark green, Lucy levels her glare at Maggie.“No, it _can’t_ wait.It’s _been_ waiting Maggie and the Sith are on our asses!We needed that data and these two idiots fucked our recon to hell.So it can’t wait, and I won’t be patient.Kara—”

“Is a person.”Alex interrupts, standing to full height and forcefully removing Lucy’s hands from Kara’s shoulders.Lucy glares at her but she doesn’t try to fight Alex’s hold.As angry as she is, she knows enough to realize that no one else agrees with her and Alex is skilled enough to lay her on her ass.“She’s a person and she got hurt fighting by our side.You interrogating her while she’s barely coherent isn’t right.We got the main point, neither Winn nor Kara were working with Brainiac.Which means they’re not with the Legion.That’s good enough for me so Back.Off.”

Ripping her hands from Alex’s, Lucy storms down to the engine room and a few minutes later, loud clanking can be heard.

Winn, if possible, seems to pale even further.“Is she going to break the ship?”

“No, she’s fixing it.”Alex returns to Kara, who at least looks a bit more aware if her concerned frown is anything to go on.“Hey kid, finish eating.”

Kara’s head tilts inquisitively but she nods.

The rest of the meal is spent in silence and, when Kara is done, Alex pushes her bowl away and slings the girl’s good arm over her shoulder, hoisting her to her feet.

“Come on, let’s get you to bed.”

“We’re not Legion.”Kara says, words firmer than before.“We’re the good guys.We don’t want the Legion to win.”

Alex nods, ignoring Winn’s alarmed look and moving them back to the bunks.“That’s good to know.”

“You’re not Legion, are you?”

“No.Rebels.”

“I thought so.”Kara lips pout and her eyes go out of focus.“We were fighting Brainiac ‘cause he was building a weapon.”

“I know.”

“We couldn’t let the Legion use it, so we stole the plans and destroyed Brainiac’s hard drives.He wasn’t very happy about that.”

“I’d imagine not.”

“I don’t like fighting but… he would have killed _millions_ of people.”

“Yes.”

Alex dumps Kara on the same bunk as before and pulls her bandaged arm up to check the injury.It would need to be redressed soon.

Kara’s head tilts like a puppy, blue eyes curious and tired.“You don’t talk very much do you?”

Alex shrugs.“I say the important things.”

Placing Kara’s arm across her stomach, Alex lifts the covers over her charge before ducking out of the room.If Lucy is in the Engine bay that means Alex is going to be in charge of dinner.And there may not be a whole lot of people who make it out alive if she doesn’t take the time to prep.

~*~

Lucy glares at her when she enters the engine bay a few hours later.The clanking has stopped and so Alex hangs in the doorway trying to gauge Lucy’s mood.The last time Lucy had decided to “fix” the ship, she’d thrown a wrench at Alex’s head.

“Did you fix the hyperdrive?”

“Did you fix the hyperdrive?”Lucy mocks, face wrinkling in a terrible impression of Alex.

Smirking, Alex decides she’s probably safe from any immediate harm.“Did anyone ever tell you that you’re not very funny?”

“No one alive.”

“She’s a kid Lucy.”

“We were all kids Alex.War doesn’t care about age; we _needed_ those plans.”

“If they have them,” Alex says patiently, hands splaying out in front of her, “I’m sure they’ll share them.”

“Share?!”Lucy lurches to her feet, eyebrows up in clear affront.“That was our mission and—”

“They got there first.”Spotting the exposed wiring of the fusion engine, Alex walks over and checks out Lucy’s handiwork.“This is good.We might actually not blow up this time.”

“Alex… I love you but one day you’re damn “code” is gonna get you in trouble.”

A minor flaw exists in the actual placement of the turbine and is easily rectified when Alex pushes a degree to the left.The small click signals her success and she smiles in victory before threading the actual wires back through the plastic clips along the metal frame.Lucy is a great pilot and a decent mechanic but her attention to detail is… lacking.Her friend has always been of the mind that once it’s fixed it’s fixed.Alex liked to… improve things.

“You act like that’s something I can control.”She says after a few minutes have passed.“Like it’s something I can just turn off.”

“You are _not_ a machine.Hiding behind that damn excuse is getting really old.Your brain _works_ Alex.You have feelings!You’re flesh and bone same as me!”Lucy’s nose scrunches and she throws the rag she’d been using at Alex’s head.At least it’s not a wrench.“Actually, not the same as me because I at least would have gotten answers.”

Alex rolls her eyes and pulls her hand out of the engine, giving Lucy an even look as she crosses her arms against her chest.“Kara and Winn were at Brainiac’s because he’s “mean”.Kara makes it sound like they’re freelance.Winn has everything encrypted on his tablet with biometrics.If we try to hack it, boom.We need to be their _allies_ Lucy.They’re not just gonna fork over the data because we want them too.”

“You gonna tell that to the council?”

“I’m going to let Kara tell that to the council.”

“Seriously?You want to bring two complete _strangers_ into the heart of the rebellion?”

“Seriously.It’s heavily guarded—”

“For a _reason—”_

_“_ And the council still has some Jedi Knights on it.If she tries anything, she’ll fail.Besides, she’s capable and trusting her may garner some trust in return.And… I kind of have a hunch about Winn.”The small man was quiet, but Alex had heard the name before in certain circles.He may not want to be noticed but that just made him more noticeable.Funny that.“If I’m right, he’s the one we’re going to have to get on our side.”

~*~

The next day comes in fast and _hot._

Literally.

It’s scorching and Alex has shucked her normal jacket in favor of a tank top that used to be white but is now covered in the rust colored dirt of the planet they’ve landed on.She’s got a towel tied around her head like a hood and goggles perched over her eyes.

Even so, she’s probably going to look like a tomato when she gets back inside.

With sands the color of rust, and rivers the color of lava, one would think the rest of the ecological terrain would have a similar pigmentation.But the trees are as green as the ones on Naboo and they stand just as tall, packed tightly together to create a dense forest on either side of the narrow river.

The rocks are grey, and the sky is blue.

The sun is red too though…

Overwhelmingly so.

Which makes the scientist in Alex question the heat.Aren’t red suns supposed to be colder?

She’d really like for them to be colder please.

Anything but this arid wasteland of _heat._

It’s not even humid heat, just dry, no breeze, dust filled _heat._

Her only solace is the solitude.

Since Lucy had taken over “fixing” the ship last night, Alex had been relegated to the more domestic tasks of cooking and later, when everyone realized what a terrible cook she actually was, fetching water.She’d at least figured out the purification requirements for this particular water source and had been hauling buckets from the river for the past hour.It’s a fifteen minute trip either way and she can only reasonably carry one bucket in this heat.Anymore and there’s no guarantee she won’t cause her body to collapse from overexertion.She suspects it will take her another two hours before they’re completely filled, but she’s not too angry about it.

Besides, the quiet is nice.

Traveling on a spaceship doesn’t really allow for much privacy so she’ll enjoy it while she can.

As such, she doesn’t really expect it when Kara appears by her side with her own bucket and starts helping her restock their water supply.The blonde looks worlds better than she had the day before, and her bare arm shows not even a hint of her former injury.

Kryptonian indeed.

“I wanted to say thank you,” Kara says in lieu of a greeting.“I was pretty out of it yesterday but I’m pretty sure you carried me twice.”

Alex shrugs and fits her bucket to a stick she had found, swinging the whole thing up and across her shoulder, her furthest hand acting as a weight to steady it.“You’re welcome.”

Kara’s eyes crinkle and her smile widens, her teeth flashing before she manages to smother her smile by biting her lip.Alex has no idea what she’s done, but apparently it was very humorous.

“Winn and I are a team.We’re all each other has.”Kara continues, carrying her own bucket like it weighs nothing at all.Kryptonian’s are also known for their above human level strength.“I kind of think you guys want us to tell you who we swore fealty to, but we didn’t.”

“Swear fealty?”

“No.I think that stuff is silly.”

Alex grunts and squints up at the sun.For the most part, she’s been able to stick to the tree line on her trips, but now that the sun has reached its zenith, she’s feeling the heat regardless of the miniscule shade.

“Rebels are nice though.”Kara continues, sneaking a glance at Alex.“They’re right about everything, determined to protect all of us vulnerable folk, and pretty handsome to boot.”

They’re still about ten minutes from the ship and Alex, unable to take the heat anymore, pulls her towel down.It does little to protect her face but at least the air she’s breathing is a little fresher.Slightly.

She should have wet the damn thing with the purified water on the ship.Makes a reminder to herself to do just that.

8 minutes left.

“You sound like you have a pretty high opinion on rebels.”It’s more of a distraction than anything to talk to Kara right now.She’s in no state to ask the questions she needs answered but can’t really focus on anything else either.She may detest small talk but if it’s a choice between that and collapsing on some Podunk planet?“You should know that not all rebels are actually in it for “the good”.”

6 minutes.

The smile Kara had been wearing drops and her eyes dart away from Alex’s, a thoughtful frown marring her lips.

“No,” she admits, “they’re not.”

They complete the trip, dump their buckets and trek back outside.Even with a wet bandana, it’s a miserable existence.

“May I ask your name?”Kara asks, as they’re refilling the buckets in the river.“It was never offered and my people—we need—"

“Alex.Alex Danvers.”

Kara beams, “I’m Kara.”

So she’s said.Repeatedly.

It is odd though that she hadn’t given a surname.

“Kara…” She waits for the rest.

The smile dims and Kara focuses on her bucket.“You cannot have a family name if you don’t have a family.”

Frowning, Alex hoists her water and starts back towards the ship.It’s not her place to say anything and she wouldn’t know what to say even if it was.Besides, the heat is making her brain fuzzy and she doesn’t exactly trust her words at the moment.

She cannot wait to get off of this godforsaken planet.This is the worst place in existence.Alex can deal with a lot of things, but this?She’d rather be shot!

A cool breeze flits over Alex’s heated skin, startling her so much that she actually stops to bask in it.God, that was nice.And _steady_!Allowing her eyes to shut, she gives herself a second to soak in the relief from the heat, her head dropping back on her shoulders.

“God that’s nice.”

It takes another half second for her to realize what she’s said, and she’s grateful for the way the heat has reddened her cheeks otherwise her blush would be extremely obvious.A quick side eye peek at Kara, shows the blonde is all smiles again.

“I guess I can add Rebels being overly hot to my list.”

Alex isn’t quite sure what that means, but it kind of feels like Kara’s laughing at her.Scowling, she increases her speed and takes point while Kara keeps pace effortlessly, a low chuckle following after her.

Aliens suck.

~*~

“Alright,” Lucy slaps her hands down on the tabletop, a breeze from outside coming and blessedly cooling the interior.Now that night has fallen, it would appear that the planet has finally decided to chill.Literally.“Now that you’re coherent and we’re all here and a big happy family—did you get the plans for the weapon?”

“Yep.”Kara replies without looking up, brows scrunched together as she focuses on soldering a piece of circuitry onto a motherboard.She smiles triumphantly when she gets it, flashing a grin back at Alex over her shoulder.

Kara is sitting in front of Alex, the brunette propped against a wall as she tinkers with a control pad in her hand.She’d been trying to work out the voltage of this thing before Kara had pulled up a chair and asked if she could borrow a piece of iron.Then Lucy had seen her and Kara in the kitchen and called a meeting and there went Alex’s solitude.Now they’re all crammed in a room, Alex tinkering while Kara fiddles with a small tube attached to her motherboard.

Maggie is yawning on the other side of the table, seated at the bench seat with Kate and Jamie cuddled under either arm while Winn stares blearily into a cup of crystal clear water.

To say that it’s late might be a bit of an understatement.Lucy really had the _worst_ timing.

Lucy nods, and moves to stand in front of Kara.“Ok, now I need you to focus ok?”

Kara’s face evens out, her eyes turning serious.“Ok.”

“You’re feeling ok right?”

“Yes.”

“We’re on the same page?We both want to talk.”

“Yes.”

“Ok… Can you share the plans with us?”

“No.”

“No?”

“We can’t.”

“You can’t?”

Kara kicks Winn under the table and he jolts up, blinking rapidly and shaking his head.“No; no offense but we don’t know you.”

“We don’t know you either and look at us; sharing our ship with strangers.”Lucy is obviously frustrated and obviously trying to hide it.When her hands land on her hips, Alex rolls her lips to hide her smile.Of the two of them, Lucy has always run hotter.

“That’s not what I meant.”Winn pulls out his tablet and with a few quick flicks turns the screen towards them.“You’re not in any databases.I can’t tell if you are who you say you are.”

Which would make sense if it weren’t for what was currently on Winn’s screen.

“Dude, I see my picture right there.”Lucy points, red entering her cheeks as her ends start to fray.“I’m looking at myself.”

“You’re looking at the you, you want us to see.That identity was created three years ago.Alex’s was created a little before that.These guys,” he jabs a thumb at Maggie’s family, “were all created years ago and would be believable if not for the fact that they have absolutely no interesting history.The most boring people to exist.Never even bought a beer at a cantina despite living _next to a cantina.”_

Maggie sits up.“I don’t drink.”

Winn swipes some more and directs the video of her drinking back on Taris at her.

Maggie sits back.“Fair point.”

“It’s not that we think you guys are evil or anything we just—eep!”

Lucy is a bit faster than most people would think and she’s on Winn before he can finish his sentence.She doesn’t touch him, choosing instead to glare until the poor man feels the fear of whatever his chosen deity is.

“We don’t have time for this,” Lucy hisses, “people are going to _die._ ”

“People are already dying.”Kara argues, ever so gently placing the last clip on her ramshod device.“That’s why we can’t give it to you.We’re not going to give it to anyone.Not even the rebels.”

Kate sighs, obviously done with the whole situation as she scrubs a hand over her face.“You do realize that we’re the _good_ guys, right?”

“Everyone’s a good guy to the people who love them.”Although the words are said with no real inflection, Alex can still detect a hint of melancholy.Just a slight glimmer of an old pain… interesting.

“You act like we’re talking about some neutral party.”Lucy has turned her ire on Kara, but the blonde doesn’t flinch, her head tilting slightly as if she’s listening for something.“These are the _Sith!_ ”

“They’re people and their families would mourn them the same as yours would.I will not be a party to a massacre.”

“Even if it means they kill _us_?”

“No.Winn and I will stop the weapon entirely so no one can use it.”

“That’s our plan too.”Alex nods, the final click from the pad in her hand, allowing the contact lens over her eye to flare to life.Slightly disconcerted at the change in her depth perception as the lens picks up several heat signatures at once, she squints at Kara with a slight head tilt of her own.“We don’t want to use the weapon; we want to destroy it.”

“Alex—” Lucy tries but the brunette is already shaking her head.

“I won’t be party to a massacre either.”

Kara smiles at her.“I didn’t think you would.”

“So you’ll help us?”

“No.”Kara shifts uneasily, looking at least slightly repentant for her words.“I’m sorry but… Winn’s right.You’re all very nice people but I can’t trust the fate of the world to that.”

Alex nods again, trying to remain focused even as she fiddled with the watch at her wrist.“Then come with us.To our base.”

Now Lucy sounds downright scandalized.“Alex!”

“You have my word that no one will harm either of you while you’re in my care.”Alex promises.“It’s just a conversation between you and our leaders and then you can decide if we’re worth the team up or not.You have to admit that taking on the Sith with just the two of you would be a little… grandiose.”

Kara smirks, realizes she’s smirking and clears her throat to hide it, her mouth smoothing again to a normal cheery smile.Interesting.

“We’ll go on one condition.”Kara waits for Alex’s nod before continuing and this time, her voice is back to its serious tone.“If we go and we choose _not_ to partner with you, you’ll help us find transport to our next location.”

“If you go and you choose _not_ to partner with us, I will loan you the Ebon Hawk.”

“Alex!”She’s pretty sure Lucy is going to faint at this point.

Kara is all smiles again, spitting on her palm and holding out her hand.“Deal.”

Alex doesn’t even look at the proffered appendage.“Yeah I’m not touching that.”

Obviously crestfallen, Kara glances down at her palm, the fingers of her spit free hand twitching over the small cylinder she’d been working on earlier.

“You’re insane.”Lucy breathes, shaking her head in complete bewilderment.

“I’m backing your play.”Alex turns her watch a half dial back.“You should get in the pilot seat, there’s a bit more of them than I anticipated.”

“What?”Lucy asks, frustrated but already moving past Alex towards the cockpit.

And then multiple lasers fire simultaneously from the tree line, the screams of injured people echoing back into the hull of the ship as Lucy starts bringing up the hatch.Alex gears up for another blast when a _wave_ of red water blasts the remaining attackers back by at least 5 feet.

She blinks startled eyes at Kara who’s looking at her with just as much shock.

Alex goes first.

“An IR blaster with a shit ton of mirrors positioned in the branches.Works better in daylight.”

Kara nods respectfully.“A series of water cannons programmed with a few spare parts from that speeder… sorry.”

The Ebon Hawk raises into the air, throwing Alex off balance before she can reply.Blaster fire hits hard and heavy as the natives try to take them down and Alex turns her watch again.

“Strap in!”She yells, swinging around the ship like a monkey as she joins Lucy at the controls.Her hands fly between the buttons and her seatbelt as Kara sends another wave of water at the enemy below.“Do we have a path charted?”

“I’ve got our coordinates locked—LEFT!”

Alex banks at the same time as Lucy, narrowly avoiding a structure that became visible only after they had nearly run into it.

Cloaking technology.

Well that would explain why there was no welcoming committee.

“When this is over, you and I are going to have a serious discussion about your anger issues.”Her fingers flick over the controls for the thrusters, pouring everything they have into speed as the advanced weaponry below becomes visible.There’s an ion canon mounted on the walls of what looks to be the citadel that can knock out their shields in one blast this close.Not cool.

“You sound like Lois.”

“And _you_ sound like a baby chihuahua.”

Lucy pulls up sharply, “Ass.”

Alex follows her, “bigger Ass.”

They break through the clouds and Alex immediately fires a missile and kills the power, Lucy screeching as the Ebon Hawk drifts on nothing but lift.

“You psychotic—” A blue blast of energy shoots past them, narrowly missing their left wing.The heat seekers unable to find them with a dead engine, hot ordinance, and a warm summer sky.Alex reinitializes the power, the engine whirring to life as they shoot free and clear of the planet below.“—beautiful, wonderful, brilliant woman!” 

“Like I said,” Alex points a slightly shaky finger at Lucy, “anger issues.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For any one who doesn't know, Taris was destroyed by massive gunfire. The planet is still there but everyone on the surface died and the lower levels would have only had a limited time to survive given the intense radiation and damage. Legends say that the Undercity dwellers escaped the devastation to the promised land before eventually running out of resources and dying off. Very sad.
> 
> In my story that all happens but the rebels eventually send help when the planet stabilizes a bit and the rescue the Undercity folk. That more than likely won't be in this story but it is my head canon.
> 
> Man this is a lot of groundwork huh?


	7. Ch 5: Can we all just chill the fuck out?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Everyone annoys Alex.

“When you first came to me do you remember what you asked for?” The words echo in the chamber, servants of the Cisar lined against the walls as Kaznia kneels before him.She doesn’t dare lift her face; she has not yet been granted permission to look upon him.She doesn’t answer because she has not been given permission to speak.“Revenge.For the family you cannot remember.The family the Jedi stole from you.I gave you a new mission; a purpose.Do you remember what that was, Lord Kaznia?”

“To bring order to the galaxy.”She says, keeping her eyes on the floor and her body still.“To show the people your mercy and justice that no one else would have to endure the same from the Jedi.”

“The Jedi are fools.They sully our galaxy with weakness and piety; force the population to believe that they are the paragons of everything good when they are little more than bumbling fools.The wars they have let wage, the enemies they have let conquer have all brought us to today when you, Lord Kaznia, allowed their allies to escape with the plans for my machine.A machine that would bring peace and order that this galaxy has never known.”

“Cisar I—”

Her airway is closed off, body lifted as if by an invisible hand around her throat until her feet no longer touch the floor.She keeps her hands at her sides, forcing discipline where fear wants to take hold.

“I do not believe I asked you to speak.” Kaznia can feel his eyes on her but she stays immobile.Eventually her blood starts pounding through her skull, legs starting to kick all on their own as her body struggles for much needed oxygen.Only then does her master release her.“What do you propose I do with you Lord Kaznia?”

Fighting the urge to gasp, Kaznia resumes her earlier position and tries to sound as steady as she can.“Master I don’t know how they escaped but I swear to you I will track them down.I will find them and return the plans to you.Our Legion _will_ rise, and the Republic will fall.The Jedi will be nothing more than a poorly written page in history.”

“My agents stretch far and wide.Go,” he says disdainfully.“Do as you will.If you fail me, there are many more that are waiting to take your place.”

Swallowing, Kaznia bows her head before rising to her feet and striding from the chamber.The servants do not move and, as always, Kaznia wonders if they’re even real.It’s extremely disconcerting to see the nonreactions and near catatonic comportment they display.

In no time, she’s back on her own ship, able to scowl and emote as she sees fit.

She doesn’t.

Astra is still present and if the older woman can maintain a sense of decorum, so too can Kaznia.

“I imagine that did not go well,” Astra remarks as soon as she’s made the bridge.The Admiral steps smartly next to Kaznia, looking down at the controls as Kaznia begins typing in commands.

Although she’s shorter than Kaznia is, Kaznia sometimes gets the feeling that Astra is a lot smarter than her.Or at least knows more.Whatever the reason behind her quick mental prowess, she’s hardly open to sharing anything with Kaznia.For a time, Kaznia hadn’t cared; the closer they get to fulfilling their plans, the more intrigued she becomes.

Not that she will allow that to distract her.

Astra may be a woman of few words, but she was _Kaznia’s_ subordinate.If Kaznia truly cared, she could force her to talk.As a soldier, it would hardly be the first time someone had done so.There’s a white streak in Astra’s hair that Kaznia often wonders over; had she been tortured for information?Was the stress of their work to much for her?Or was she simply old?

Astra didn’t look old.

She didn’t look young either, but she was fit, and she was strong and Kaznia would need her fortitude and acuity to regain her Master’s favor.

“Did you put out image scanners to the nearest planets?We need every eye available tracking that ship.”

“We have the photos,” Astra promises, “if anyone sees it, we’ll know.The real problem will be if they change its appearance.”

“We have the manufacturers codes.”

“They can shave them off.It might give them more difficulty at the checkpoints, but it’d still take longer to find them.”

Trying not to huff in frustration, Kaznia grits her teeth instead.“You have another suggestion?”

“Yes.Allow me to reach out to our network of spies.If anyone has any information, it would be them.”

“Do it.Let me know as soon as you have the results.”

“Understood.”Astra nods, bowing slightly.

And then makes no attempt to _leave._

“Is there something else?”Kaznia asks, her patience already stretched beyond its limits.

“Just your new pet Lord Kaznia.You do know you need to feed it right?”

Oh crap.

~*~

“So…”

“So.”

“Are we gonna talk about it?”

“It?”

“The nerdgasm you just shared with our dear alien friend.”

Alex squints, her eyes narrowing despite the vast emptiness of space before them.Lucy had a way of getting under her skin that no one else had truly mastered. After their narrow escape from the unknown red planet, they’d plotted a course to Yavin 4, and allowed the auto nav to take over.Alex had slouched back in her chair, hands laced over her belly as she looked out the glass into inky blackness.She’s a great pilot, better than _Lucy_ for sure, but even she doesn’t understand how anyone could stand to be out in space for prolonged periods of time.

Sure, the poets wax on about the beauty and the discovery of the unknown and the stars and adventure but…

None of that is really true; at least not for Alex.

It’s just a perpetual void of… nothing.

No sound, no light…

It all just seems …lonely.

“I did not have a nerdgasm.”

“You both used your ginormous brains to figure out that the planet wasn’t uninhabited; that the locals were just blending in and _then_ made your own individual methods of disabling the attack.”Lucy glances at her from the corner of her eye, her feet propped up on the command deck as she sways in her chair.“Although to be fair, her way was a lot less lethal than yours.”

“Yeah well we can’t all be benevolent beings of goodness and love.”Alex flips the radar on to a higher setting.She’s been paranoid since they left Taris and one thing she’s learned is to trust her gut.

“Feisty.… Do you really think the council is going to see her?”

“I don’t think they have much of a choice Luce.”

Lucy swings this way and that, her head tilted towards the ceiling as she picks at the ends of her sleeves.“We’ll be within transmission range in the afternoon.Any idea what you’re going to tell them?”

“The truth.”

Lucy sighs.“You’re annoying.”

“I agree.”Alex rolls her eyes as Maggie clambers into the chair behind her.“The Missus and the mini me are sleeping so I thought I’d sneak out and hang with my friends.”Maggie leans over the back of Alex’s chair, poking her in the shoulder.“Did _you_ know the blonde was a nerd because I didn’t.She was giving me total jock energy.I mean did you see her arms?”

“Right?!”Finally finding an eager partner, Lucy sits up and turns to face Maggie, her hands gripping the back of her chair.“The girl is _built.”_

“Hot.”Maggie admits, albeit grudgingly.

Lucy fans herself.“I mean she could do with a little cleaning up, maybe a bit of TLC but… she has the makings of greatness.”

“Have you decided to give other life forms a chance yet Danvers?Or are you still flying solo for all of eternity?”

Closing her eyes, Alex sinks further into her chair.“I have you two to entertain me; that’s more than enough.”

“What about sex?”Maggie asks with another poke to Alex’s shoulder.

“I can take care of my own needs just fine.”

Lucy’s face hits the head rest with an annoyed huff.“God, you’re annoying.”

The sound of a high five sounded over Alex’s head and she half listened as Maggie and Lucy continued their observations on Kara and Winn.

Most of what they said was spot on.

Kara _was_ built. 

Underneath the red and blue cloth, her musculature was lean, not stocky but very, very defined.The girl probably had a harder time gaining dense muscle because of the strength Kryptonians were alleged to have.Not that Alex could say for certain whether or not that was true.

Krypton had been destroyed by its own people decades ago and the few Kryptonians that remained kept to themselves.Kara was the first one Alex had ever met and she was nothing like she’d imagined.

Kryptonians were meant to be masters in every field: science, mathematics, medicine, philosophy…They were gods amongst the rest of the races, using their advanced technology to selfishly bolster their own communities.It was no wonder that when the distress call went out, no one answered.

Most people had thought ‘ _if they had wanted help, they should have been nicer_ ’.

Others had wanted to mind their business.

Some hadn’t known how to help; after all, if the great people of Krypton couldn’t help themselves with all of their knowledge and skills, then who could?

And the council had simply taken too long deliberating to actually act.

Alex doesn’t think _anyone_ had expected the actual devastation that had occurred.

Maybe a flood or an earthquake at best… no one thought a planet could _explode._ A planet had never exploded before and Krypton still held the record.The only other “dead” planet Alex knows of is Taris, and even then, the Sith had leveled the city.The planet remained even if its inhabitants didn’t.

Now there are two dead planets, the dust from their remains floating around in this darkness that people equate with love.

…And why was she thinking about that instead of _how_ the Sith even managed to get enough fire power that _could_ destroy Taris?Krypton’s annihilation had been of its own making.Taris was… 

Complicated.

And big.

And it makes her head hurt.

It's weird.

Alex sighs.

Kara is weird.

Kara and Winn.

What Kara _does_ have in common with her people is their renowned skills in combat.Alex has never seen anyone move with such ease, like her staff was an extension of her arm.Which begs the question of why she needs Winn?

Building a hydraulic hose strong enough to propel a bipedal species on their own territory with nothing but spare knick-knacks from a ship was genius level stuff.Which meant that Kara’s engineering skills were through the roof.She could fight, she was smart, resourceful…

Where did Winn fit in all of this?

And why did she feel like she’d heard his name before.She’d already sent an alert out to Lena, the leader at the rebel camp they were headed to, but with the distance the transmission would take some time to get to her.And for her to respond.Whatever was up with the duo, Alex’s gut told her to stop looking at the girl and to focus on the guy.

Her gut was usually right.

~*~

“Commander Danvers, we were extremely concerned when we got word of Taris.We had only dared have hope that you could survive such an event.”

The hologram coming out of the meeting deck flickers statically, a clue as to how weak the transmission is.They are still a few hours away at least but Alex knows that she can’t just show up to the rebel planet without advanced warning.There are bound to be people with a bit too much anxiety for her to come by unannounced.

Across from her, Kara’s head tilts at the flickering and Alex’s eyes drop to her twitching fingers.Speaking of anxiety…

“We managed to get off the planet before it was destroyed General Thorul.We had the assistance of—”

“I’m sorry; can you please repeat that Commander?Did you say destroyed?”There’s soft murmuring amongst the other assembled members as Lena leans forward.“We had assumed when we felt the ripples in the Force that there was some sort of planetary catastrophe.”

Lucy shifts next to her, hands clasped behind her back as her mouth pinches into a frown.She may not have shown it the last few days, but Alex can see how the death of millions of people, civilian and military alike, in an attempt to eliminate _them,_ had taken a toll on her.

It’s taken a toll on Alex too.

On all of them.

She’s pretty sure she’d seen Kara _crying_.

“Yes, General.The Sith brought their fleet in at hyper speed and the entire battalion fired on the planet simultaneously.There was nothing left on the upper levels.Given the sheer magnitude of fire power used, I doubt the rest of the planet will survive much longer due to radiation and falling debris.In my expert opinion, ma’am.”

The hologram flickered again, and Kara took a step closer to the console, fingers running up and down the sleeves of her shirt before she laid them gently on the holodeck, a glorified counter with a lamp in the middle.The council, displayed now as anxiously shifting blue images, consisted of Generals Lauren Haley, Sam Lane, Lena Thorul, Maxwell Lord, Jack Spheer, Samantha Arias, Leslie Willis, and… Eliza Danvers.Alex’s “mother”.

Lena leaned forward, white robes settling gently with her movements and her face an impassive mask as usual.As a Thorux, Alex understood her lack of sentiment.Her people were still regarded with fear following the turn to the dark side by one of the greatest tacticians in the Galactic history.The Thorux were generally regarded with little to no trust, seen as an arrogant and calculating race who would sooner satisfy their own morbid curiosities than help anyone else. Every ounce of status Lena had gained had been hard won.

It was Lucy’s expert opinion, that she deserved each and every one of her accolades.

It was Alex’s expert opinion that she had a stick up her ass.Which made no sense considering Lena was barely _seventeen_.Passed adulthood for her own people, but Alex’s human mind just kept thinking of the childhood this woman was wasting fighting someone else’s’ war.Thorux was far enough away that they could ignore such problems if they wished it.

Lena, obviously, did not wish it.

“A jump of that magnitude would require…Did you _see_ these ships arrive Commander?”

“Unfortunately, we were not able to catalog much.There was a large Sith battle cruiser, but we could not ascertain whether that was the ship that led the attack.”

There was a soft _whoosh_ and the blue and white hues of the hologram solidified, creating a crisper image.Kara popped her head around the now solid council members with a sheepish grin.

“Sorry that was just really bugging me.”

Lena gave Alex a bland look and she sighed, straightening her shoulders as she gestured to Kara with her chin.

“Council, may I introduce the civilians who assisted us in escaping Taris, Kara and her companion Winn—”

“It wasn’t just the cruiser.”Kara interrupted, popping around the console to stand next to Alex.She glanced at Alex, studying her posture before falling into a terrible imitation of her stance.Alex rolls her eyes as Kara nods at the council members.And Lucy said _she_ was annoying.“Sirs and misses.”Quick glance at Winn who shakes his head at her.“Ma’ams?Ma’ams.There was a smaller ship but like not really a ship.Think like if you had a giant-sized kiddie pool and then you filled it with the photon version of plasma and then that was swallowed by a claw fish who then jumped into space on a miniature meteorite and crashed into a planet while also projectile vomiting the photon plasma.”Confident nod.“It was like that.That’s the ship that led the assault.”

Coughing into her fist at the confused looks Kara has garnered, Alex shakes her head of the rather… detailed image Kara has given and tries to realign the conversation.“Regardless of what it was Council, the issue remains that it’s technology the Legion has and will most likely use again if given the chance.We cannot give them that chance.”

“What do you propose?”

“For one… I would like our scientists to weigh the consequences of a rescue mission to Taris.See if it’s a viable option and then get the remaining civilians off the planet.”

There are more murmurs, but Lena ignores them in favor of rolling her wrist for Alex to continue.

“And for two?”

“Kara and Winn were able to secure the entirety of the data in Brainiac’s possession before my arrival.Afterwards the Sith showed up and they helped us escape.I’d ask for a meeting with the council to discuss terms.It is my belief that given the nature of Brainiac’s association with the Legion, the information contained on those drives are invaluable.We should be able to find both the supreme weapon Brainiac was tasked with creating _and_ the hyperdrives that helped take out Taris.”

There’s some buzz through the council before Eliza leans forward, her eyes boring into Alex’s in that way that always made her squirm.

“Would you all be so kind as to allow us to speak to Alex alone?”

Lucy rocks up on her toes and Alex kicks her in the ankle, jutting her head towards the door.The shorter girl huffs, green eyes narrowing before she bows respectfully and tugs Kara away.Winn had escaped at the first chance he could get, and Maggie rarely liked involving herself in council affairs.

Eliza smiles indulgently.“I see Major Lane is still…”

“Obnoxious?”

Both Alex and Eliza glare at Leslie, the older woman from a specialized group of Jedi, slouching back in her seat now that she didn’t have a large audience.Leslie crosses her ankles and ignores the glares, a smirk crossing her lips.

“Considering that she served under _you,_ ” Alex says, “I think her lack of decorum can be forgiven.”

“By you maybe, but the council cannot tolerate such disrespect.”Of all the council members, Alex wonders most often how General Lane got his position.A bear of a man, he had raised Lucy and her older sister Lois with an iron fist.Despite her ardent denials, Alex knows that Lucy’s deepest desire is to gain her father’s approval. Which is why Lucy had shown the small hint of emotion in the first place.Her insight was just as valuable as Alex’s and yet she was constantly being asked to leave the room.Alex could understand her frustration, especially since General Lane never showed the slightest hint of affection or support.Lois, the elder sister, could care less.Lucy couldn’t care more.

“It was hardly disrespectful Sam.She’s still young, she’s allowed to be spirited.We need more of that.”Eliza winks at Alex, the soft smile on her face easing some of Alex’s earlier tensions.For all the awkwardness between them, Alex can still be affected by the smallest hint of Eliza’s sentiment.

“Commander Danvers,” Lena prompts, regaining Alex’s focus.“are you sure you can trust your new companions?”

Alex exhales noisily, fighting with the rather drastic but true statement she’s about to make.“With my life ma’am.Literally.And with yours.I wouldn’t request this meeting if I didn’t think the risks outweighed the benefits.Kara and Winn are… hopeful.”

“In what way?”

“They don’t believe in killing.It’s one of their reasons for hesitating to assist us.”

“Pacifists in a war?”Lena asks, her slit green pupils going wide and exacerbating the paleness of her face.“Why get involved?”

Alex shrugs.“They intend to save people.”

Lena’s brow crinkles in confusion but she doesn’t say anything else.

General Haley staples her fingers together, looking down in thought for several moments.The other council members allow her the moment to think.As a master Jedi Sentinel in her own right, Haley garnered the most respect.The fact that she had executed almost two dozen successful combat missions helped with that.

“Ma’am,” Alex prods gently, “there’s also something about the woman’s companion: Winn.He’s… there’s something about him.I feel like I’ve heard his name before.”

Sighing, Haley nods and raises her head.“As you should. If I am correct the young man you have stumbled upon is the greatest hacker in the galaxy.”

“Toyman.”Alex breathes.

“Winslow Schott Jr.”Haley corrects while Lena sits up straighter, intrigued.“The most sought after ally in the war.”

There had been stories, Alex remembers, of a master programmer.Someone with the technological skills to break into nearly any security door or firewall.This individual had wreaked havoc on the Legion in the early days, sending Sith patrols into ambushes, stealing hordes of supplies, redirecting ships…

It had gone on for nearly five years before the anomalies had faded from existence.Everyone had thought the hacker, codenamed Toyman, had been captured and killed.Only those who were force sensitive had claimed Toyman’s continued existence and now… now he was on Alex’s ship with the greatest breakthrough that the Republic had seen.

With Winn’s help they could have a real shot of winning this.

“Ma’am…”Licking her lips, Alex fought the sudden rush of adrenaline, trying to keep her voice calm and low.“Council members… with all due respect, you _have_ to meet with them.If we lose this chance—”

“Agreed Commander Danvers.”General Haley exchanged a look with Lena before nodding at Alex.“Bring them to us immediately.We will decide our next course of action then.”

The other members nodded as one and then the call was cut off.The holodeck now silent, leaving Alex with her thoughts.

Her whole body was one big tense muscle.

Toyman.

He could end the war.

This could all be over.

They could go home.

They could _all_ go home.

~*~

“Winn doesn’t like people knowing who he is.”

Kara’s voice halts her, makes the smooth motion from her whetting stone stop, Alex nearly slicing her knuckles open at the stumble.It’s unfair how quiet Kara is in her movements, when her personality is so… not.They’ve known each other for four days now and Alex can’t seem to fit her brain around someone who lives life so _big._

Everything is important to Kara and its exhausting to Alex.

“I don’t like it when people eavesdrop on my conversations.”Without looking up, Alex resumes sharpening the sword on her workbench.

“I have enhanced audio receptors that allow me to hear across large distances and through several dense objects.”There’s a slight rustle as Kara shifts.“It’s not something I can help.”

Alex hums because… great, one more thing they’ll have to guard against.

“Look,” Kara starts moving forward until she’s at Alex’s shoulder.“I know you don’t like me, but Winn is… important.He’s my best friend.I need to know if we’ll be safe wherever you’re taking us.”

Setting her whet stone aside to avoid future accidents, Alex braces herself on the table and turns to regard Kara seriously.

She looks the same as she had a few days ago.Same odd fabric fitting over her body, the white stitching impeccable despite the slight worn look of the rest of the cloth.Her hair is still unreasonably dry, but her blemish free skin had somehow gained freckles dusting her nose at a near exponential number since they’d visited the Red planet.Alex notices a scar near her left eyebrow.

But she looks different in her eyes.Something there that Alex hadn’t considered before.

“Are you truly that afraid?”

Kara huffs a laugh, a nervous hand raking through her hair and causing stray strands to break off and glide to the floor.“Yes actually.”She admits with a sheepish grin.“All the time.But I can’t let that fear paralyze me and you were right.At least about some of it.If I want to end this war… I might need more help than I had realized.”

“How old are you?”

“Oh uh…”Kara blinks wide eyes at her, a bewildered look on her face.“I’m like forty in common years I think.”

Alex tries not to look _too_ surprised at that admission.Kara looks a full two decades younger than her actual age!Although maybe that’s the Kryptonian DNA?Cocking her head, Alex narrows her eyes as she studies Kara more closely.She’d never considered it before, but Kara was the last of her race of highly intelligent and accomplished scientists.It was said that Kryptonians had uncovered the ability to self-heal and regenerate.If Kara looked that young, it might not be because she had a baby face.It was entirely probable that she instead looked so young because her skin was literally healing at an astounding rate.

Which… doesn’t explain the freckles she supposes.

Squinting in thought, Alex ponders that one.Maybe her skin needed time to heal?When Kara had been bitten by that hound on Taris, it had taken her a little over 24 hours to completely regenerate the broken skin and muscles that the beast had torn from her.

The freckles were a much smaller anomaly and Kara hadn’t healed them in the slightest.

Was it controllable?

Did Kara like the freckles maybe?

“Um… Alex?You’re starting to freak me out a little…”

Fuck.

Right.

“I made you a promise.”Alex says, straightening up and sliding her sword back into its sheath.The act of safety done, she turns to fully face Kara, going so far as to rest her hand on her shoulder.“I know we don’t know each other, and we have no reason to trust each other, but I am a woman of my word.While we are together and there is breath in my body, you and Winn will not be harmed.And the council… I know they may seem ominous, but I’ve seen them argue over a game of pazaak and trust me, they’re just as human as you and—” Freezing at her slight misnomer, Alex clenches her eyes briefly before trying again with a brief head shake.“They’re _normal_ is what I meant to say.They’re not all good or all bad, they just want the killing to stop and for the average person to have a say in their government.It’s all very boring stuff I assure you.”

Kara smiles, taking a step closer to Alex to lean her hip against the workbench.“I have a feeling there is nothing ‘boring’ about you Alex Danvers.”

“Do you always say someone’s first and last name?”

“Do you always plan to use someone’s friend as a weapon against the Legion without asking first?”

Alex considers that and nods, dropping her hand from Kara’s shoulder.“That’s fair.We’ll be to the council by dawn.If you want to back out—”

Kara’s already shaking her head.

“No; I… I don’t think I could leave now even if I wanted to.”

An odd thing to say.Alex opens her mouth to question Kara further when the lights go out.Cursing under her breath, Alex almost doesn’t hear Kara’s snicker.

But she does hear it and she knows with absolute certainty who is to blame.

“What did you and your friend do to my ship?”

“I… Winn gets a little excited sometimes ya know?He’s a sweet guy though!”

“What. Did. He. Do?”

“… We wanted to see if we could stream the pod races!”

“You have got to be _kidding_ me.”

“Well Bartholomew Allen is racing, and they say he’s the fastest man in the whole _galaxy!_ And I mean, we only needed like a _little_ bit of power.Unnoticeable—”

“This seems pretty noticeable.”

“He probably rerouted the main supply instead of the auxiliary branch and I mean if he had just used the regular circuitry instead of trying to convert to alternating—”

“Kara.”

“…Yes?”

“Fix my ship.”

“Yes Captain!”

There’s a gust of wind and Alex sighs as she is left alone.That girl was gonna be a test in patience.

Scowling, she pulls a holo-light from under her workbench.She was _not_ a captain!

~*~

Her next stop, after that idiot has gotten the power back on, is the shower.

There is something to be said about showers, Alex thinks as she stands beneath the spray.When the pressure is right, and the temperature is right, and it’s your damn ship so you can take all the time you want?It was pure bliss.Perfection to the highest order.

Her muscles loosened the longer she stood under the spray, a song hummed under her breath as she shampooed her hair.She’d had to cut it again, her bob falling to her chin.If her mother had seen her with her hair any longer, she might have gained some hope that Alex was growing it out again and Alex didn’t want that.She was enough of a disappointment as it was, thank you very much.

While she’s ruminating on the perfection of her shower, she also had time to think about Taris.

While the newly revealed information about Winn is helpful, she still can’t help but feel like she’s missing something.There’s still something about the odd duo that makes Alex’s brain itch.Kara’s fighting skills are tremendous yes, but not enough to keep her and Winn out of trouble for as long as the hacker has been in business.

Was this a new pair up and, if so, who had been helping Winn before.

There had to be more to this than just them.

Did they have their own group of rebels waiting for them?

Alex doubted it, Kara had seemed pretty clear where she stood on rebels.But…

Then why help people?If they weren’t going to fight the Legion?If they saw them as _saveable…_

Something didn’t make sense.

Kryptonians were supposed to be logical tacticians, not emotional balls of righteousness.

Was Kara only half Kryptonian?

It would explain the freckles.

Alex ducks her sudsy head under the water and slowly blanks her mind.This was not what she had come in the shower to do.She wants to _stop_ thinking, not continue to chase her brain in circles.Logically she knows she can just ask Kara her questions.She has no doubt that the rather trusting alien would more than likely answer most of them, but then Alex might be expected to answer a few of her own and she didn’t want that.

It would be easier if they were the enemy, then she could just let Lucy loose on them.

Sighing, she applies her conditioner and starts wrapping up her shower.It won’t do to settle on things that weren’t and that she didn’t know.All she’d wanted was a quiet few minutes where her brain _wasn’t_ active.Stupid genius DNA.Bet her parents hadn’t thought about _this_ minor defect when they were thinking about children.

Rinsing off, she remembers how willing Kara was to risk everything on getting Jamie out.Apparently, the blonde had a soft spot for children.Maybe Alex could get Jamie to be her spy?

No.That wouldn’t work with Kara’s hearing.

Yanking the towel off the hook, Alex tries to soothe her frustration.There’s something there and she knows it.She wishes that she’d taken some sort of recorder when she’d gone down to Taris.Something that would—

Lucy!

Lucy had used the drone!She could get the footage from there!

Alex rips back the shower curtain, towel clutched high around her chest as she takes her first eager step… and promptly stumbles backwards, her back hitting the wall with a sharp _thwack_.The sound is only superseded by her screech, her eyes bugging out as her brain slowly recognizes Winn standing in front of her with some sort of remote, his hand slapped over his eyes.

“Ok, here’s the deal.This room is soundproof for the next 5 minutes—”

“Are you _out of your mind!?!?_ ”

“There’s some stuff I need to say to you that I don’t want to be interrupted over.I can’t see anything and trust me I’m not interested anyway.I have a boyfriend.”

Alex scowls, tightening her grip on her towel.“Oh, yeah that makes me feel _loads_ better.”

“The people that you’re taking us to, you can’t leave them alone with Kara.One of us _has_ to be with her at all times.”

“Why?”

“Because.”

“Why?”

“That’s the deal.You want Winslow Schott Jr. that means you protect Kara.”

“What the hell is with you two and thinking people are going to want to kill you?”Alex asks, suddenly frustrated at the lack of information.

Even with half of his face covered, Winn still manages to look unimpressed at her outburst.“We’re two of the biggest fugitives in the Galaxy.Everyone _does_ want to kill us.And anyone who doesn’t just wants to use us.We’re all we’ve got.Which means we have to look out for each other.”

“And you think you have to look out for each other with the Council?A good chunk of whom are _Jedi?_ You know?Do no evil?”

“Kara says evil is only recognized by the injured party.”

Rolling her eyes, Alex crosses her arms.Still feeling slightly self-conscious about Winn possibly seeing so much of her.“What did she major in philosophy?”

“I don’t know what your deal is and frankly I don’t care.What I _do_ care about is _Kara_ and her safety.So, either you agree that she is never alone, or I walk.”

“Where?”Alex asks, flinging her hand out.“Into space?”

“Yes.If it comes to that.”

Alex blinks, drops her hand limply by her side.Oh.

“Look,” Winn tries, fiddling with the collar of his shirt.“I know that we don’t mean much to you in terms of who we are.I know that you only see us for what we can do but… she’s special.She doesn’t deserve to—She’s going to need protection where we’re going, and I need your help to secure it.And, if we decide to stay with you, I need your word that you’ll do everything you can to keep her safe.From everything.”

A gay man bartering for the life of his… _friend._ Interesting indeed.Alex was an only child and, while she would do everything in her power for her mother, she didn’t think she’d offer to walk in to space for her.Especially when the danger was so nonexistent.

“Tell me why.”

“Because she’s my family.”Winn says firmly.It’s true.But it’s not why.

“Then why would you come to me anyway?Why trust me?”

“Because…”Winn shuffles and sticks his free hand in his pocket.“Because when your friend Maggie had a knife to her throat, you stepped in. And when she almost fell out of the speeder, you saved her. And when your friend Lucy was trying to take advantage of her you put a stop to it.And when you had the chance to get all the information you wanted out of her, you put her to bed instead.And… and because you could have let her die.You could have kept your supplies and skills to yourself in exchange for what we got from Brainiac and it’s… it’s like that thought never even crossed your mind.Like it never would have.It’s… been a while since I’ve met someone like that.”

Alex frowns, unaware she had made such an impression.

It’s not a hard deal to make.Kara, as annoying as she is, is innocent.She’s done nothing but _help_ them since Alex first saw her.It was because of Kara that Alex was even here, because of her that Maggie and her family were here.She’d saved them on Taris and then helped again on the Red Planet.

Protecting her would come easily to Alex.

Making the case for her not being alone with the council… Alex can work that out she supposes.It’s an odd request but, given who Winn is, one that they might be willing to acquiesce too.

“I’ll see what I can do about her being left alone.”Alex grudgingly allows, pinching her brow between index and forefinger.“I’m not making any promises though.”

She can practically feel Winn vibrating from over here.

“And the protecting—”

“Yeah, yeah.I’ll keep her safe.”

“From everyone?”

Alex fights the urge to pummel the small man.“Yes Winn.”

“Swear it.”

Breathing deeply, Alex holds up her left hand and touches the tips of her pinky finger and thumb.“I swear that as long as I am alive and Kara is under my care, that I will do everything in my power to ensure that no harm comes to her.”

“Good.”Winn nods, looking like he’s about to collapse with relief.“Good, thank you.”

Alex squints, more questions popping up than answers.

“You should know that she asked me to make the same promise about you.”

Winn shakes his head before she finishes her sentence.“If it comes down to it, you choose her.Always, always choose her.”

The device in Winn’s hand beeps and Alex is suddenly aware that she had been missing the sounds of her ship; the soft whirring of the air system and the murmurs from her current passengers.Neat little device that.

“You realize you will have to tell me why she’s so important one day.”

She pushes past Winn out the shower room and down the hall towards the bunks.Winn predictably follows after her.

“She’s… crucial to the war ending scheme.”

Alex gives him an even look, stops in front of the room Winn and Kara had taken, and tilts her head to listen. __

_“No, we **can’t** just spew our feelings everywhere…. Because that’s not what normal people do! … I don’t remember anyone asking **your** opinion anyway!”_

Winn chuckles nervously and rubs his hand down the front of his chest.“She um…”He blows out a breath and squints.“She’s… been through a lot?”

Alex nods thoughtfully, considering her options in her head.“Winn?”

“Yeah?”

“If you ever barge into my shower again, I’ll kill you with just my pinky finger.”

The small man gulps, stumbling backwards down the hall as he nods hurriedly.“Yes Captain.”

Alex scowls and finishes marching to her room.

She is _not_ a Captain.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We're starting to pick up some steam here. Yavin 4 was the base where the Resistance made it's final stand against the Empire; killed Emperor Palpatine, destroyed the Death Star etc. They won and happiness was abound. None of that happened in my story but it's still the main base for the Resistance :)
> 
> Winn and Kara call Alex captain because that's the most common term for someone who has a ship. They have no idea of Rebel ranks so it's not that they're being insulting it's just that they're trying too hard and Alex isn't exactly correcting them so... *shrugs*
> 
> Lena is an alien in this story and the "traitor" mentioned was Lex, her brother who she is now trying to make amends for. The alien race Thorux is a play off of thorul which is an anagram of luthor and as a whole, they're loosely based off the Chiss species.
> 
> Kaznia did end up feeding Mikhail. She'll get it soon.


	8. Ch 6: Can I have your daughter for the rest of my life?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They group arrives on Yavin 4.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Why you gotta be so ruuuude?
> 
> Ok quick review:  
> Alex went to Taris to steal plans from the Legion allied cyborg Brainiac only Kara and Winn got there first. Kara helps Alex save Maggie's family that Alex had inadvertently endangered, and Alex helps her create a Raghoul serum that will treat the infected undercity dwellers. They bond.
> 
> But they obviously have to get out of dodge because the Sith are on to them hardcore. Alas, Kara is injured in the escape and Taris is leveled but Lucy manages to get everyone to a planet with a red sun and red sand and red water and no inhabitants? Except there are inhabitants, after a brief quarrel between Lucy and Alex over proper guest etiquette, they all learn that the planet is inhabited.
> 
> Alex and Lucy pilot the Ebon Hawk out of danger and they make plans to take Winn and Kara to Yavin 4 to meet with the council and hopefully broker some sort of compromise for the Resistance. Kara agrees but Alex has to protect Winn. Winn agrees but Alex has to protect Kara. Lotsa protecting and now we're here.
> 
> On Yavin.
> 
> Enjoy.
> 
> Song: Rude by MAGIC!

Yavin 4 was exactly how Alex remembered it.A densely forested, fog filled landscape of ugh.

She supposed to some people it was charming, the chirping cries of the wildlife certainly seemed to make Kara’s eyes light up.But then again, she was coming to find that a lot of things made Kara’s eyes light up.The woman was easily pleased.

“Why didn’t we land closer to the base?”Winn complained as he clomped his way through the underbrush, his steps fat and heavy.“Why would you make us walk for an _hour_?”

“It’s been twenty minutes.”

Winn glares at her and Alex shrugs to reinforce her response.To be fair to Winn, it had already been late afternoon when they had landed, having taken a bit longer than anticipated for Alex to find a suitable landing spot.Now it’s only getting later and even for Alex, the thought of spending the night in this mess is not fun.Not that they’ll have to but its kind of fun to watch Winn squirm.Lucy had already sent Myx ahead to alert the camp of their arrival so that they didn’t walk into an ambush and now all they had to do was get there.

Kara’s laugh tinkles and pulls Alex’s attention as the blonde slows to match her step.

“Winn is a city boy.This is torture for him.”

Alex’s lips tick at the slight tease, unable to help the entertainment value these two knuckleheads have brought to her crew.

Lucy slinging an arm over her shoulder as she pushes between Alex and Kara is slightly less entertaining.

“Why do you think Alex is any different?The only nature treks she likes to partake in is among the stars.”

“Really?”Kara asks, her brows raised in surprise.“She seems…”

“Adventurous?”Maggie prompts from her place in the rear, causing Lucy to bend to look at her and Alex’s neck to be suitably strangled.“This nerd likes to play with her toys more than she likes to go outside.”

Kara’s face got unbelievably bright for a second before her eyes narrowed in suspicion.“Real toys or some weird thing you guys have—”

Both Maggie and Lucy laugh.“Her weapons.”Is what Lucy says, squeezing her arm around Alex’s neck affectionately.“Guns, swords, knives, daggers.If its dangerous our little soldier wants a piece of it!”

Alex rolls her eyes and ducks from under Lucy’s arm, feeling her grateful airway expand as she regains the ability to breathe.

“None of this explains this torturous hike!”Winn yells before eeping as Lucy trips him with a sharp hiss to be quiet.

Ignoring his new plight, Alex shrugs as continues through the forest.“Neither you nor Kara seem to be one hundred percent sold on the council so I landed far enough away that we would have an escape route.No one monitors that cliff, so barring it getting found by some wandering native, we should be able to make a quick getaway if the need arises.”

Something warm on the side of her face makes Alex turn, her eyes widening at the gentle look Kara is directing at her.She clears her throat awkwardly and stares forward.What a freaking _weird_ kid.

“Quick?Did you not hear me say _hour_?!”Winn may have lowered his voice, but his complaining is still just as obnoxious.

“Alex built a neural interface into the ship’s droid.She can remote pilot the ship whenever she wants.”Lucy boasts.

There’s a moment of stunned silence before Kara grips Alex’s bicep with both hands, squealing and bouncing on her toes.“That is _so_ cool.Please tell me you used an implant!”

“Nope, I wouldn’t have been able to protect from an EMP.”

“But if you encapsulated it—”

“I don’t want any metals touching my brain thank you very much.”

“It wouldn’t need to touch your brain if you used a silicon-based plastic.If you used an aluminum chip—”

“That’s…” Plausible actually, “white metals fry easily.”

“What about increasing the surface area…”

They continue discussing the pros and cons of neural implants, ignoring Winn’s grumbles and the setting sun, until they are abruptly interrupted by a group of armed men.Unfortunately for them, both Kara and Alex had already spotted them and, while Alex knew who they were, Kara did not.Already antsy from being on unknown territory, it resulted in the Kryptonian having secretly launched several disks onto the ground in front of the soldiers, a quick tap of her finger and all of their weapons were pulled from their hands, snapped to the disks and whisked back to Kara’s feet.

It all happened in a matter of seconds, and, if Alex wasn’t so impressed, she would have rolled her eyes at the soldiers’ gob smacked expressions.

“Nerdgasm.”Lucy mutters, roughly bumping Alex’s shoulder as she passes and then promptly cooing all over her flying droid as Myx rejoins the group.The little guy squeaks and beeps as he flits around Lucy’s head before finally settling on the dock on her back.

Now Alex _does_ roll her eyes.

After a few quick introductions—and Kara nervously smacking at her magnetic device to release the soldiers’ weapons—they are whisked away to the Rebel base and Alex is privy to the amazed reactions of Winn and Kara.

She, Maggie, and Lucy had grown up in the Resistance and so the technology and volume of life didn’t astound her like it had when she’d first been brought to one.Other planets were inhabited sure, and some had even managed to stay neutral during the war creating a sort of normal lifestyle.

But no planet that Alex had been to had this amount of people willing to help the displaced.On planets like Taris, they were simply relegated to the lower cities.On others, they were cast out completely, unwilling to draw the ire of the Legion for accepting any refugees.

This base, one of the larger ones Alex had been on, was teeming with refugees.All around them were medical tents with triage lines and fresh waves of patients.Children were crying and being soothed by nurses and soldiers in the uniform of the Resistance.

Stationed every few feet was a Rebel soldier, eyes scanning the skies and the tree line for incoming danger.A few of them, wearing a distinct set of armor that marked them as clones, nod at Alex when she passes.She ignores them.

On the outskirts of all the organized chaos were vendors selling their wares; food, clothing, medicines, spare parts, performances and stories.

In the first few feet there was more happening than most people saw in their lifetimes and, as much as Alex would have liked to allow the newcomers to explore, they’ve come here for a reason.It’s Lucy who lays a hand between Kara’s shoulder blades, gently steering the young alien towards the main section of the base.

Alex hopes the sights haven’t thrown Kara too far off her game.They’ll need her focused for the questioning of the council.

It’s odd because, although Alex has known most of the council members for years, has trusted and served under them dutifully, she can’t help but feel slightly anxious as they approach the underground structure she once called home.

She trades a look with Winn before glancing at Kara, the blonde’s face a mask of concentration.There’s no sign of her earlier jubilance, no hint of the questions she’d been peppering Alex with.

Alex remembers when she’d asked her if she was scared.Kara may not look scared, but her response allows Alex to see what’s beneath the calm veneer.It’s wrong.All of it; and it makes Alex feel weird.She realizes quite suddenly that she doesn’t like this new quiet version of Kara.

As they take their first steps down to the council, Alex decides that she’ll make sure this meeting goes smoothly, if only so the blonde can resume her usual exasperating personality.

~*~

“Welcome home, Alex.”Eliza’s arms are a warm band around Alex’s shoulders, and, despite her misgivings, she feels herself sinking into the embrace as always.Eliza has always given the best hugs.It’s her words that have continually needed a little bit of work.Her mother tilts Alex’s chin slightly, taking in the tiny peeling scabs along her jawline and cheekbones.“What’s this?”

“Sunburn.”

Eliza makes a noise of disapproval.“I gave you lotions—”

“I used them already mom—”

“It doesn’t seem that way to me.If you had run out, you should have sent for more.”

“I can make my own.”

“Then why—”

A soft clearing of the throat interrupts the first of many arguments she’s sure to have with her mother, and Alex looks over her shoulder at the rest of the council.The meeting chamber is just as she remembers it.Open and airy and filled with sunlight.

A compact table with a group of chairs positioned in a semi rounded position behind it.The floors are made of some sort of orange-cream stone, but there are plants _everywhere._ Long sloping vines trailing up columns, and a glass domed roof that shows the brightly filtered skyline above.In front of the table are a set of movable chairs, cushioned and high backed for the comfort of the council’s desks.There is audience seating, also cushioned, along the walls in case anyone wants to hear or partake in the local concerns.The more private matters see that the large wooden doors the group had just walked through, remain firmly closed.

Droids filter in and out, carrying trays of fruit and water to the people in attendance, built solely to keep the population healthy and fed. And all of it was built by J’onn and his then padawans to ensure that everyone felt welcome and equal.Rumor has it that the war hadn’t even been a thing back then; that J’onn had entrusted this space to only his most trusted friends and trainees before opening it as a refuge to those same people.

That was more than a hundred years ago.

Or she thinks it was.Alex has never been all that interested in history so give or take fifty years or so.She just knows that J’onn is really old and really wise and the only person who’s ever remained solidly in her corner.

“It is good to see you.” General Haley nods, giving Alex a once over.She nods her approval a scant few moments later before turning to her companions.“Please join us.It seems we have much to discuss.”

Not all of the Council members are here obviously.Maxwell Lord for example, liked to lead his own base on the planet of Naboo.Others like Sam Arias and Jack Spheer were off planet on missions for the rebellion.The only ones in attendance were her mother, General Lane, General Haley, Lena, and Leslie.

The droids set about rearranging chairs and soon everyone is seated at the table.Winn practically shoves Kara in the seat next to Alex before taking the seat on her other side.Lucy and Maggie take a seat on either side of Alex and Winn, completing their party.Before they had gone into the chamber, Maggie had sent her small family to her former rooms.As a spy for the rebellion, Maggie would always have a waiting room at any base she went to.Besides, it wouldn’t really do for Jamie to be here if they needed to get away.

So they sit at the table and wait for the council to begin.

“How about we start with introductions?”Eliza prompts with a smile, the only such expression at the table.“My name is Eliza, and these are my companions: Generals Haley, Luthor, Lane…”and down the row she went.

Alex had tuned her out when she’d mentioned introductions and Kara’s hands, clenched around the seat of her chair, had gripped so hard that the wood beneath her fingers creaked.She reaches out before she can stop herself, her own fingers prying Kara’s hand from the wood and tangling their hands together.Kara turns a dazed look towards her, almost as if she isn’t completely there and Alex frowns.She’s seen that look before, not on Kara but on people who were punch drunk.As far as she was aware, Kara hadn’t been drinking and she hadn’t been in any physical altercations lately.

“And Winn.”Lucy finishes, pulling Alex’s attention.

Reluctantly, Alex returns her gaze to the council, squeezing Kara’s hand in a show of support.Seeing that look on Kara’s face had brought back unwanted memories of her own childhood, when she’d been terrified of her own shadow.One of the reasons she’d joined up with the rebellion was so that she could try to make sure that no one had to feel like that again.

And now she’s practically forced Kara into a situation where she’s become utterly terrified.

Alex feels like the worst person alive.

“… the data that was recovered?”

“It’s secured.”Winn says to Lena.“We didn’t know your team would be there.”

“Would it have changed anything if you did?”Lena asks, amusement coloring her voice.

Winn has the decency to look sheepish.“Uh… maybe it would have moved up our timeline.”

Haley, meanwhile, is looking at Kara thoughtfully, her fingers stapled in front of her frowning face.Kara’s fingers tighten against hers painfully, but Alex doesn’t let go.She’ll risk the broken hand; whatever is going on here, she doesn’t like it.

“And what would it take for you to share the information you have gained?”Lane asks impatiently.

“Nothing sir.”Winn’s voice is firm.“With all due respect we can’t allow this to fall into the wrong hands.”

Eliza makes an offended noise.“And you think _we’re_ the wrong hands?”

“No offense but I’ve learned that most everyone’s hands are wrong but my own… that sounded a lot less wonky in my head.”

“You are focusing too hard,” Haley interrupts, her soft voice cutting effortlessly into the conversation as she leans closer to Kara.“There is no one here who wishes you harm; you do not need to protect yourself in this way.”

Kara’s face is a pasty mess, her dampened skin glistening over ruddy cheeks and a pale forehead.Even her eyes, normally so vibrant blue, are lined with red and Alex squeezes hard on her hand, her nails pressing sharply into Kara’s skin to give her another focal point.Another moment passes where Haley continues to look confused, still locked in a staring contest with Kara and increasing Alex’s discomfort.

_Are you truly that afraid?_

Alex stands smoothly, bowing her head slightly to the council.

“We thank you for this meeting Generals, but it appears to be getting late.Perhaps we can reconvene in the morning?When my companions are feeling more like themselves?”

Lane glares at her but Lucy stands too, and Eliza is already nodding her approval.It’s short work after that to get Kara to her feet and out into the open air, the blonde’s arm pulled tight around Alex’s shoulders by the time they emerge.Winn had tried to maneuver himself under her other arm, but Lucy had beat him to it, her head poking around to Alex.

“What happened to her?”

Lucy may play hardass but she’s just as big a softie as she claims Alex is.

Alex frowns and keeps walking towards the dorms.“I have no idea.”

It looks like Kara is focusing all of her energy on placing one foot in front of the other.Her head lolling lazily while she tries to keep her torso as upright as possible.The droid at the front desk tries to usher them towards the empty rooms, but Alex and Lucy continue towards the cabins.Lucy allows Alex to shoulder Kara’s weight while she scans her wrist, the door sliding open and admitting entrance into the cool interior.

“Ah.”Lucy says with relief, spreading her arms and allowing the cold air to sweep over her skin.“Boy did I miss central air conditioning.”

Ignoring her, Alex swings Kara into a bridal carry and brings her to the first room on the left.It’s Alex’s old room for when she’s not on a mission, so she knows it’s clean and suitable for guests.Maggie was a hoarder and Alex didn’t feel right giving away Lucy’s room.

Kara groans when Alex lays her on the bed, her hand shaking as she grips the fabric at Alex’s shoulder.

“It’s ok.”Alex whispers soothingly. “You’re fine.We got you out of there.”

“That woman…”

“Haley.She’s a Jedi; she won’t hurt you.”

“It felt like…my head… it felt…”

“Like she could read your thoughts?Yeah, she’s a bit of a jerk when it comes to privacy.“Greater good” and all that.”

When Kara pales and curls her arms around herself, Alex can’t help moving to the bed, her hands pushing stray hairs out of Kara’s face.

“I have a neural inhibitor I built when I was fifteen; it’s designed for any higher life form so it’s not just for humans.You can use it tomorrow.”

Kara’s brows crinkles and her body bends inwards.“Can I use it tonight?”

“You’re ok Kara.”Winn says from the doorway, “we’re ok.”

“I’ll get it now.”Alex leans over the blonde to reach the set of drawers next to her bed.It’s none of Alex’s business what had happened to her in the past, but she’s now got a feeling it’s got to do with a Jedi… or a Sith.Her fingers wrap around the rudimentary design she’d worked up all those years ago and she pulls it from the drawer praying it still works.When it boots up with a soft whir and flare of blue light, she releases a sigh of relief and fits the head band over the back of Kara’s head.“Here, that should do it.”

“Thank you.”Kara blinks before her face starts to relax, the strained muscles of her body slowly easing as she releases her fears.Her “thanks” is more of a sob and, although Alex has no idea how to handle this situation, she also doesn’t want to leave Kara alone.

“You’re welcome.”

Kara’s eyes slide shut, a tear born of exhaustion and probably some frustration, slipping down her cheek.Alex frowns, her hand finding Kara’s before she slides down to the floor.

Winn moves to step further into the room but Lucy halts him with a hand to his chest and a warning look.“That’s Cap’s room, she’ll literally kill you.Let’s get you settled on the couch.”

And then it’s just Alex and Kara.

Kara sniffles, the only sound that disrupts the silence that has settled over them, and Alex lays her head back against the mattress, prepared for a long night.

~*~

“What are you doing on the floor?”

Alex sighs, the unforgiving floor beneath her making her shoulders ache something awful.The hand nearest the bed is still gripped lightly in Kara’s who has taken to running the fingers of her free hand up and down Alex’s exposed forearm.

Its… nice.

“You stole my bed.”Is what she ends up saying, forcing her eyes open even if all they manage is a barely there slit.

Above her, Kara is draped along the very edge of her bed, her head hanging off as she looks down at Alex’s prone form in curiosity.The neural inhibitor has stayed on her all night and glows a soft blue which somehow illuminates the intense blue of Kara’s own eyes.It’s a little odd seeing her from this angle, Alex is so used to her doing something weird that seeing her just being still is… off putting.Even the dirty blonde hair that had looked like it had seen better days falls over Kara’s shoulder in an enticing way.

Alex squints; realizing that Kara is _pretty_ is turning her brain into mush.She’s not usually one to notice such things, physical beauty is hardly _useful_.At least not in any way that really matters; it doesn’t make you a better fighter or win any wars.It’s a distraction at best.

“Sorry.”Kara murmurs, fingers still lazily tracing patterns into Alex’s skin.“I didn’t know.”

“It’s ok.”It is.Alex doesn’t mind.She’s slept in way worse places than the floor of her own room.“Are you hungry?”

The grin Kara sends her is blinding.“Always.”

It’s still pretty early and given their previous travel, its no wonder that she and Kara are the only ones who are up.Alex shows her to the bathroom, and they take turns washing up before leaving the house.Kara took the time to scribble a quick note to Winn, snoring on the common room sofa, telling him where she was going before stepping out into the fresh air.

The Kryptonian’s cheeks are pink and she’s got a sort of glow going on that Alex hadn’t seen before.

“You seem to be feeling better.”She remarks as she leads Kara towards the cafeteria.The sun shines brightly behind the trees, still not fully up even as the camp is beginning to come to life.

The day crew is milling around, switching guard rotations, stocking supplies and setting up shops.Alex watches it all with a renewed sense of purpose.Sometimes she forgets what it is she’s fighting for.The chance for people to live like this… to be free and alive.

Kara taps the side of her head where the inhibitor hinges around her ear.“This is helping, I don’t have to focus as much.”

“Focus?”

“I…” Kara chews her lip, looking slightly chagrined.“I don’t trust the people here.”

“I told you—”

“I know.You think I’m safe.I appreciate that.”

Alex frowns but doesn’t say anything to refute Kara.If the girl is still uncomfortable with the council, Alex telling her not to be isn’t going to help any.They’d only met a few days ago after all.Kara had no reason to really trust her, despite her claims to the contrary.

When Kara would have continued walking straight, Alex rests a hand between her shoulder blades and gently guides her into a new building, this one completely covered in glass.The interior is toasty but comfortable; a climate-controlled environment to always feel like a warm summer day.Even in the summer.

Moving her hand to Kara’s bicep, Alex tugs her towards the food line showing her the trays and giving her brief instructions on what to do.

“It’s buffet style,” she says, “so just take whatever you want.”

“Whatever I want?”

“Sure.”

Little did she know that that would mean Kara piling two plates high with bread, fruits, and eggs.She steers clear of the meat which Alex is kind of grateful for, she doesn’t know if the colony would have survived breakfast if Kara had also taken that delicacy.

She holds her tray in her right hand and waits patiently for Kara to finish getting her drink before nodding towards a table.

“You’re not going to get thirsty eating all of that?”Kara asks, baffled.

Shrugging, Alex sets her tray down on one side of the table she’s chosen.A small two-seater, near the back of the hall that she can see the entire room from.“I’ve got a bum shoulder right now; it’ll be two trips for me.”

Kara frowns and her eyes narrow suspiciously before she releases a sharp gasp and sets her own tray down.She’s around the table before Alex knows what’s happened and tugging the sweater Alex is wearing to the side despite Alex’s sharp yelp.

When she reveals the pristine white bandage underneath the clothes Kara’s frown deepens, and she gently runs her hands over it.Despite being freshly applied just that morning, there’s still a speckle of red from when Alex had cleaned the skin and it’s still tender where Kara touches.Also, _they are in public!_

“Hey!”Alex hisses, pulling out of Kara’s grip.“Hands to yourself.”

“When did that happen?”Kara asks, voice colored in concern even as she follows the retreating Commander until they’re backed against a wall.

“Taris.” Alex admits, cheeks flaming.

Kara shakes her head.“I checked you in the sewers.You were _fine—”_

“After!God, it was after the sewers.When we got in the land speeder and you passed out.I got hit with a blaster, it’s not a big deal.”

“Alex—”

“I’m _fine.”_

An uncomfortable silence settles between them, Kara chewing her lip again and twisting her fingers in front of her.Then she’s gone, a blur of speed that comes back with a whoosh of air and three cups balanced in her hands.

“Orange juice, water, and coffee.”Kara states as she lays the beverages on the table.“I wasn’t sure which ones would be to your taste but… I think you take your coffee black.”

Alex readjusts her sweater and tries not to look too petulant.“Why do I look like I take my coffee black?”

Kara shrugs sheepishly, tugging at the sleeves of her shirt.“You just seem like the type of person who likes to appreciate something without the dressings.”

“You say weird things.”Alex says, eyes narrowing as she takes her seat and gestures for Kara to do the same.Once they’re both seated, she picks up the coffee and takes a sip.

“Sorry.”Kara mumbles again, fiddling with her utensils.

“Don’t be.It’s… nice.”

She seems to be saying that word a lot today.At least where Kara’s involved.Which maybe makes her the weird one.

Kara offers her a small smile, before hesitantly starting to eat.Alex doesn’t say anything, careful to keep her eyes on her own plate.It’s easier to pick up on Kara’s unease now that she knows what’s going on.

When she had first come to live on the colony she had hated when people watched her as well.She’d been in constant fear that she would do something wrong or that it was all one big joke to take her food away.It had been months before she’d even worked up the nerve to eat in front of anyone else, choosing instead to sneak food into the dorms or runaway for a midday snack in the woods.

“I… know you said you were fine,” Kara prods hesitantly, “but humans can be…”

“Fragile?”

Kara winces, ducking her head down between her shoulders.“No, that’s… I… don’t want you to die.”

“Well,” Alex replies, bemused as she sips at her coffee.“This is barely a graze.It might look bad, but it will have no long term affects.”

“Are you sure?”

“Positive.Humans may not heal like Kryptonians, but we do heal.”

Giving a relieved nod, Kara starts to dig into her food with more gusto, talking around a mouthful of toast.“It’s adaptation too.My cousin heals way faster than I do but he’s spent more time under a yellow sun than I have.”

“Yellow sun?”

“Yeah, the yellow sun alters our basic DNA structure to enhance our survival on a different planet.”

And come _on_!Alex may be trying to be considerate but she’s not a statue!

“So, your scientists…”She decides to play it cool; let Kara decide if she wants to continue the conversation.It would be rude to pry.

The tinkling giggle she gets in response makes her think she’s been found out, but Kara doesn’t call her on it.

“We wanted to explore the world,” Kara says wistfully, a hint of pride in her voice.“To do that we had to make sure we would actually be able to survive.Enhanced healing, strength, and hearing.”

“Amongst other things.”Alex prods.She’s heard the legends and she’s seen Kara’s eyes glow.There was more to it than that.

“That’s mostly our own traits as… aliens, I guess.The speed and the freeze breath are things we had beforehand.We had what humans would call enhanced vision as well but some of the… alterations created unexpected results.”

“Like super-heated infra-red light beams.”

“Laser eyes.”

“Heat vision.”Alex argues.If she’s going to give the thing a new name, it should at least be a _cool_ name.

Kara rolls her eyes but the look she’s wearing is pure fondness as she concedes.“ _Heat_ _vision_.Our scientists at that time were a bit eager and so they gave an entire generation unforeseen capabilities.The first wave of embryos went completely mad from being able to see _through_ people.Our hearing was also enhanced beyond what it already was and so being able to _hear_ your own planet was… damaging.”

“What did they do?”

“They punished them.”Kara says, “the ones that survived were not… kind.They resented the Science Guild and blamed the population for what had happened.Almost all of them became criminals of some sort in an attempt at revenge or even just… not being able to handle it.They were sentenced to the Phantom Zone.”

“That’s where time doesn’t move right?”

“Yeah…”Kara looks sad now, almost disappointed in her people.“They… it was hard to understand their position and a lot of the younger people argued about it.A few years prior and that could have been us.Heck, it sort of _was_ us, just without the debilitating side effects.”Kara crumbles her napkin, lips pulling into a grimace at the sore memories.“But then the rebellions started, and there were food and water shortages and injustice amongst the social classes, and the Science Guild was so focused on fixing their mistake that they didn’t even notice what they were doing to the actual planet and we… destroyed ourselves.”

Alex doesn’t try to imagine what it must have been like in those last days of Krypton.She’s been on enough war-torn planets to know the devastation and overwhelming loss of hope.The way Kara’s speaking about it is as if she was a casual observer, not a survivor.There’s a chance that that means she’s suppressing but Kara doesn’t really seem the type.Alex suppresses, Kara… Kara wears her heart on her sleeve.At least she looks like it; Alex hasn’t known Kara for long, but she already knows she’d be terrible during an interrogation.

Not that she’d tell her that though.

“A planet dying is as good a reason as any to ditch.”Is what she offers up instead, hoping to at least ease a bit of Kara’s obvious pain.Plus, this is the most interesting conversation Alex has had in a while.The legend of Krypton is just that.Speaking to an actual survivor?Sorting out fact from fiction?This is the nerdgasm that Lucy was referring to before.

But then Kara looks up and all thoughts of a nerdgasm leave her mind.

There is something to be said for watery blue eyes.They should be criminalized for certain.Alex has never really been an emotional person, but she’ll admit that the longer she’s with Kara, the more protective of her she becomes.Besides everyone around her telling her to keep the girl safe, Kara is vulnerable in the worst ways.She may not trust everyone, but she certainly wouldn’t ever turn her back on them either.Which is a huge problem in war.Especially in a war where you can’t ever really be certain of who is the real enemy.

Watching her struggle to maintain her composure here… Alex decides that maybe that’s enough questioning for now. __

“So… what you’re telling me is… that you’re _predisposed_ tocrazy.”Alex nods solemnly, “I kind of already knew that.”

Kara laughs, swiping a hand along her cheeks to catch stray tears and Alex considers it a win.

“I’m telling you that my abilities aren’t all they’re cracked up to be.”

“They are if you put them to good use.You can _save_ people.”

Kara shrugs, that same melancholy creeping back into her smile.“Not everyone; not… the people who matter.”

“Did you know?What was going to happen?”Alex questions, wincing with the way the question came out.She had not intended this to be an interrogation.“You don’t have to answer that if you don’t want—”

“No.I didn’t know what was going to happen, but I also didn’t…I know logically I couldn’t have done anything.I mean, when Krypton exploded, I was barely twelve.I had no way of…”Kara huffs and shoves a handful of berries in her mouth, chewing thoughtfully before finally shaking her head.“It wouldn’t have made a difference if I had known or not.I was too young to stop it.”

There’s a moment of silence, heavy with the weight of Kara’s guilt and Alex’s discomfort.It’s way too early to be having this conversation.Both in terms of time and the status of their friendship.Still, it seems unfair somehow, that Alex has pulled this information from Kara.Kara had been terrified and rather than make her feel better, Alex had probably made things worse.

“I was a slave once.”She states, forcing the words out as quickly as she can and ignoring Kara’s look of shock.“When I was a kid; apparently I was kidnapped from my parents and sold into slavery.My parents looked for me for years and when they finally found me, my dad traded his life for mine.And my mom… well, you’ve met my mom.”

Kara nods slowly.“She loves you.I know that isn’t always enough to… make things ok but it’s nice to hold on to.”

“Yeah.”Alex agrees, oddly accepting of the simple statement.

This time the silence isn’t nearly as oppressing, and Alex takes another sip of her coffee while taking in the room.More people have come in since they arrived, the colony waking up slowly but surely.Alex has always liked this time of day, the serene peaceful part where no one’s day has been ruined yet.The calm before the storm so to speak.

“So…” Alex turns her head back to Kara, raising an eyebrow as the blonde regains her attention.Gesturing with her fork, the playful smile that usually adorns her face back in place, Kara nods towards Alex’s pancakes.“Are you going to eat all of those?”

Laughing, Alex pushes her plate closer to the alien, watching as she happily pulls a pancake onto her miraculously emptied plate.She accepts it for what it is, a shift out of the awkward conversation they’d been stuck in.She’s not quite used to this feeling of… ok-ness that Kara provides.

Finally lifting her own fork, Alex stabs a piece of breakfast sausage and decides to puzzle on that later.Right now, she wants to eat and clear her head before their next go at the council.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aaaand there goes Alex's protective instincts kicking in. Despite the fact that she thinks Kara's a weirdo, she still can't help but want to take care of her. Don't worry Alex she has that affect on all of us.
> 
> General Lane and Eliza are *not* Jedi. Haley, Lena and Leslie are. Also Sam is a Jedi but Max and Jack Spheer are not. Most of these characters will play very very minor roles but I thought it'd be good to just get that out there.
> 
> As always, Haley's MO is to figure out what makes Kara tick. Sooo annoying.
> 
> Alex made the inhibitor with J'onn's help so that he couldn't read her thoughts and she'd be able to have some privacy around him. Now she just doesn't care.
> 
> And the story of Krypton will come out. I know I'm being vague but that's because no one really knows all that happened so they're giving the small bits they do know. Kind of like how I didn't know Hitler had a body double until that new Netflix show and now I'm like 0o0
> 
> And I think that's it?
> 
> These are still unbeta'd so I'm using the notes to make sure I clarify anything I flub. :)
> 
> Hope you liked this update. Might be a quicker one coming up because I have a free weekend! yay!


	9. Ch 7: I see destruction and demise (Corruption in Diguise)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Council Meeting Take Two

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Gorillaz- Clint Eastwood

Alex slides a hand through her short bob, trying not to notice Kara’s excitable form taking in their surroundings.She supposes for someone not from here, it would be interesting but for Alex, it’s just home.

Or as much of a home as she’s ever had.

As much of a home that makes logical sense.

Kara stays close as Alex walks through the base, eyes flitting over every person they pass.A lot of the people shout greetings to one another, some to Alex too, who nods and waves but otherwise keeps walking.The Rebel troops are well known here and are treated like heroes.Alex is no exception.

It was weird at first, being so widely celebrated and, even now, she’s still not used to the attention; to having parent’s stop and show her off to their children like she’s the paradigm of aspirational achievement.

One such father stops quite suddenly to do just that, his hand gesticulating wildly as his teenaged son looks at her in boredom.The man whacks his child upside the head, before pulling him along and Alex rolls her eyes.

At least not all of the children are so disillusioned.

People are people in her opinion and even “heroes” fuck up.

A hand burying itself in the back of her jacket brings her up short, and she looks up to see her companion looking at the sky in alarm.Alex follows her line of sight and has to swallow a sigh of pre-exasperation.Nia hasn’t even reached her yet and she’s already exhausted Alex to the extreme.

The flying brunette teen pinwheels her arms, her mouth pulling back against her teeth as she tumbles through her landing.A small dust cloud forms in her wake and she spins, head over knees, until finally coming to a stop against Alex’s calves.

Nia is, per usual, dressed in the stolen clothes from Lucy’s locker.The lighter blue and white jacket more to her partner’s tastes then anything Alex would have deigned to wear.To be fair, Lucy rarely has to worry about fitting in or camouflage.Leg work is Alex’s domain.Lucy is negotiations and piloting.

“Oh,” Nia says with a sheepish grin, head on Alex’s boots and eyes darting between her and Kara.“Hey Alex.Fancy seeing you here.”

Rolling her eyes, Alex stuffs her hands in her pants pockets. “I don’t understand how you can be surprised when you made this happen.”

Kara’s fingers tighten briefly in the cloth at her back, and Alex looks at her askance.Nia may be an oddity but she’s still human looking.Why Kara looks so alarmed by a _child_ is beyond Alex, but she doesn’t have much time to dwell on it when Nia pops up like a meerkat and kicks Alex in the shin.

“Don’t be rude Commander, I came all this way to see you.”

Resuming her walk, Alex pulls Kara’s hand off her back but allows the Kryptonian to grasp her bicep.A few people give them odd looks, but Alex is fairly certain that is mostly Nia’s fault.Nia draws attention wherever she goes.Plus, the fact that Kara has turned her head away and is muttering angrily under her breath _may_ have caused a few second looks.Kara is _seriously_ cracked.

Ignoring the psychopath attached to her arm, Alex chooses instead to respond to the psychopath trailing along beside her.

“If you wanted to see me, all you had to do was close your eyes.Now what do you want?”

“We’re going to be attacked.”

“When?”

“I… don’t know.But it’s gonna be huge.”Nia insists, hands waving to emphasize the travesty even as she nods sagely.“You’re gonna die.”

Eyebrow quirking in interest, Alex tilts her head towards Nia.“Blaster fire?”

“No.Crush injury.”

Kara’s fingers tighten painfully and Alex hisses, pulling away completely and glaring at the Kryptonian to remind her that super strength?

Alex doesn’t have it.

For her part, Kara is ashen, the pink color of her lips completely gone, and her muttering completely halted.She looks as if she’s seen a ghost.

“I know.”Nia says from next to Alex, her mouth a straight line of solemnity.“I liked her too.”

Scowling, Alex straightens her jacket and steps back from both of them.“ _I_ am still alive and _Nia_ dreams I’m dying every other week.”She levels an impatient look at the two dweebs, ignoring Nia’s affronted huff and Kara’s still worried lip gnawing.This was _so_ not how she wanted her day to go.She inhales sharply to center herself, giving a resolute nod when she feels like she’s got a better hold on her frustration.“Look, uh Nia!You’re clearly not doing anything productive, why don’t you show Kara around the camp?”

“Hey!”

“But the attack—”

“Isn’t going to happen.”Alex assures, hand reaching out to gently pat a terrified looking Kara on her shoulder.“I’ll be fine.And if not, you’ve got your super speed yeah?”

One last pat and she’s walking passed the pair of weirdoes in a bid for her sanity.

She’s really hoping J’onn is in a semi-lucid mood.

~*~

J’onn is indeed _not_ in a semi-lucid mood.

Which isn’t exactly out of the norm for him, but given the happenings of the last few days, Alex was really hoping the universe would cut her some slack.

In general Martian’s were a rather large species, built on a solid frame from generations of manual labor.With the general appearance of a human in body, green Martians had striking green skin, a rather conical shaped head and large black eyes.They had been docile for the most part, choosing to spend their time farming and caring for the planet.The only thing that would have intimidated anyone to the average Martian would have been their size.

J’onn was easily a few inches shorter than the ones Alex had seen in her history books and about five times more vicious.During his more lucid periods he was called the Martian Manhunter for essentially hunting any and all Sith he could find.During his less lucid moments… Alex sometimes has to remind herself that J’onn wouldn’t hurt her.Not on purpose. 

Without much fanfare she marches passed the distraught Martian, who seems to be hellbent on punching out his entire back wall, and enters the kitchen.It’s no surprise to see the dishes stacked high and untouched meals strewn over every available surface.Making a noise of disapproval, she rolls up her sleeves and grabs a garbage bag.

This was going to take a while.

An hour into the cleaning and she’s just finished clearing the surfaces of debris and has cleaned enough pots to start on some porridge.She has also managed to uncover—re: free—J’onn’s cleaning droid.The poor little guy had been trapped in the oven and it had taken Alex a while to be able to hear him trying to escape.

Her mentor could be a bit temperamental when it came to having anyone around during his bad times.Alex remembers that when she had first met J’onn, she’d been thrown into the lake for saying ‘hello’.Teen Alex, fresh from a round of therapy and sick and tired of people treating her with kid gloves, had thought the experience to be freeing.

Her mother had ordered her to stay far away from the man.Which of course had only made Alex want to hang out with him even more.

Leaving the droid to the rest of the dishes, Alex opens all of the windows she can find, letting fresh air into the dwelling and sweeping out some of the muggy odor.J’onn doesn’t have any cleaning supplies aside from a bottle of dish soap, so she squirts a healthy amount on the bare floors and a huge glass of hot water to boot before beginning to scrub up the grime that has built since the last time she was here.It takes some elbow grease, but soon the floor is a dark sudsy mess and she directs the cleaning bot to power wash what’s left.

Droids are handy like that.

J’onn comes through the doorway as Alex is spooning out a bowl of porridge.A steaming cup of herbal tea awaits him at the table, and he glares at it harshly before grumbling and slouching down in the proffered chair.Alex wisely does not comment and instead slides the bowl in front of him.

Turning off her pot of boiling lemon halves, she takes her own mug of tea and sits down in the remaining chair.

They drink in silence, the only sounds from the now easily accessible outside world and the droid that is still cleaning.

“The Legion has a new weapon.”Alex says when their tea is almost gone.J’onn hasn’t touched his porridge but she hadn’t exactly expected him to.He could be a stubborn goat when he got like this.“They destroyed Taris.All of it.”

There’s a grumbling hum from her companion, his head dropping to one hand as he rubs the furrow between his brows.“What about the girl?”

“The girl?What girl?”

“The Kryptonian.”

“I…”Alex hesitates, uncertain as to exactly why.She’s not surprised he knows about Kara, he is after all a mind reader, and besides that people _gossip._ And she’s known J’onn nearly half her life and he has always been someone she can trust.Telling him about Kara should be easy.It isn’t.“She’s safe.She’s here to meet with the council.I thought we could partner together; share intel.”

J’onn stands and shakes his head, taking the porridge with him as he moves to the newly exposed exterior.“No.”He swallows the contents of the bowl in one gulp.“She is not for the council.It is your duty to protect her.”

“For what?”Alex asks, hurrying to catch up with the taller green alien as he ambled across the back lawn into the massive trees.“She’s not going to share the intel she has and without that—”

“You cannot destroy the Legion without her.If you try, you will fail.”

A branch J’onn had been holding snaps back and nearly takes off Alex’s head.As it is, she barely manages to duck, scrambling along behind him and wandering what the hell it is they’re doing in the damn forest.

“We could have had this conversation at your table you know?Like normal people?Nice cup of tea and a breeze.”

“Kim was calling for me.”

_That_ brings Alex up short.Kim was J’onn’s wife. _Was._ She and most of J’onn’s Martian race had been slaughtered when the Legion had first attacked.Including his two daughters.

_“J’onn.”_

“You will protect the Kryptonian or we will all die.”

Heart aching for her friend, Alex allows the topic change.Sometimes J’onn’s memories get the best of him and his only outlet is to destroy things.She gets that.The rest of the colony… less so.

“I’ll protect her.”Alex concedes, an easy promise since she had already planned on doing just that.“But if she doesn’t want to give up the intel—Hey!”

Rubbing her smarting butt, Alex glares at J’onn from her new position on the floor.Her mentor looks amused, the first smile she’s seen from him all day barely arching over his mouth.

“As usual you do not know how to pay attention.”He drops to a crouch in front of her, face turning serious once more.“There will be many people who would wish to use her the same way as you do right now.She is much more than what you believe Alex.You _must_ protect her.”

“From _what?_ ”

She doesn’t want to admit that J’onn is freaking her out, but he’s kind of freaking her out.Enough that she almost forgets that he’s just tripped her and made her fall on her ass.

“I cannot see.”J’onn admits, rubbing his chin thoughtfully.“For now, let’s just say that I trust only you with her.”

“You don’t even know her.”

J’onn grumbles and stands.“ _You_ do not know what I know.”

“She’s crazy; you realize that, right?She talks to herself all the time.Out loud.”

“So do I.”

“You’re… different.”

Rubbing his chin again, J’onn turns his head towards the canopy, the sun barely penetrating the thick foliage.“A crazy Kryptonian and a hardheaded human as the last hope of the galaxy.These truly are dire times.”

He takes a step and Alex quickly does a spin kick from the ground, her feet moving in a wide arc that does absolutely nothing.J’onn floats above her unimpressed.

“You suck.”She says, slumping back on the ground.

“You have _one_ job Alex.Do not mess it up.”

~*~

The first time she had come to the colony she had been eight and Jeremiah had just been killed.

A woman, Eliza, had rushed on board the ship she’d been on and held her to her chest while sobbing over her lost husband.Alex hadn’t been sure exactly what was going on, but she’d known she was supposed to be quiet.Good slaves didn’t speak.

So she’d stood there while her alleged mother patted her down, looking her over for wounds and injuries.Alex had none.She’d been considered valuable for some reason and so hadn’t been sent on the more dangerous tasks.The worst she’d had to do was work in a smithy.Smaller hands made a smoother blaster barrel. 

Eventually Eliza had quieted and, holding Alex by the shoulders, confessed that, “I’m your mom.I’m your real mom honey.”

It had been expected from there on that Alex would be a good _daughter_ rather than a good slave.But for as long as she could remember, that was all she had been.Being given the amount of freedom she had… she’d gotten a little drunk on power.Which had been debilitating because as much as she was loving her newfound providence, she was also terrified that Eliza would decide she’d made a mistake and send her back to whence she came.

So therapy was prescribed and required.

Alex had never really learned to talk about what she wanted or what she thought about things, so her first few years of therapy were a wash.The doctors—she’d had multiple at the request of Eliza—had all tried to reach her but there was no way she was going to give _anyone_ ammunition to sell her again.She’d be the good daughter Eliza wanted or she’d die trying.

It was why she’d known she was bound for the Rebel corps almost immediately.No one would dare sell a rebel soldier into slavery.Not even Eliza.And there was the added bonus that Eliza couldn’t be disappointed in her for saving the galaxy.Even if it got her killed.

Except that Eliza _had_ been disappointed.More than actually.She’d been livid and they’d had a huge argument about Alex’s wasted “potential.”Apparently, Eliza had seen a life of science and research in Alex’s future, not one of danger and death-defying stunts.

The fight had led Alex to run away into the woods, sweating and huffing up an impressive storm when she’d unwittingly bumped into J’onn who’d been having one of his episodes.

Initially, Alex had been terrified.J’onn J’onzz was a known menace amongst the people and Alex had been warned more than once to stay away from him.When she was bodily lifted in the air like she weighed nothing more than a brick, and then _thrown_ into the river… well she’d maybe seen why people thought he was so dangerous.

But then in the next minute he was sobbing and apologizing to someone named ‘Tanya’.His daughter, Alex later discovered.

Dripping wet and covered in mud, Alex had hauled herself onto the bank and just… sat with him.

She hadn’t ever been good with crying people and got super uncomfortable when people tried to comfort her when _she_ was crying but… it felt wrong to leave him alone.Alex had been alone before and she’d been scared and… it would have been nice if someone had just sat with her.

Sitting with J’onn had taken almost an hour and she’d missed the dinner bell.Her stomach grumbling angrily is what had finally—probably—drawn J’onn from his funk.The Martian had stood to his full height and started to lumber out of the trees and back towards civilization.

Alex had risen a few moments after, now calmer but no more ready to face Eliza. She’d just decided to go harass Maggie, one of the street orphans in the dorms, when J’onn stopped to look at her.

“I can make you a sandwich.”He’d offered and, without waiting for her reply, lumbered off again.

And well, Alex had kind of been craving a sandwich anyway.

~*~

Lena’s cat like eyes, dilated.The black pupils overwhelming the iris and pushing the sclera to the foreground.For Alex, it’s the freakiest thing she’s seen all morning.For Kara, it’s apparently fascinating.

Now that she is no longer worried about the invasion of her privacy, secure in her trust of Alex’s device, the Kryptonian seems a lot more relaxed around the council.At the moment, she’s got her head tilted as she gazes at Lena in abject wonder.Given the brief history she’s revealed to Alex thus far, it can be assumed that Kara… hasn’t really gotten out much.Winn himself was a bit of a shut-in so Alex can’t imagine that they’d been the most social duo in the galaxy.Add that to the fact that Kara legitimately talks to herself and Alex tries not to be too offended that the Kryptonian had rebounded so quickly.

It’s not an easy thing though.

Especially since Alex isn’t too sure where she stands on the whole Lena front.As a logical species, the Thorux never made anything _but_ sense, but it was Lena’s involvement that had kept Alex’s friend and mentor, J’onn J’onzz, from taking part in the council.

Not everyone was tolerant of a man in pain.

She’d much prefer it if Kara wasn’t starry eyed over the Jedi Master if only as a show of loyalty.

“Easy Commander,” Lucy teases quietly beside her, “your green is starting to show.”

“Frag off.” Alex murmurs back, face a blank mask as the rest of the council joins them.

They’re back to yesterday’s seating arrangements, Alex’s team on one side and the council on the other.

“I hope you found a suitable rest.”Lena says, presumably to the group, though her eyes remain on Kara.“We were concerned when you had to leave so quickly yesterday.”

Shrugging sheepishly, Kara grins in that completely oblivious way of hers, fingers thrumming along her thighs.“Yeah, sorry about that I tend to get a little overwhelmed.”

“Are you sure that is all that it was?”

“Yep.”

“Hmmm.”

“Then we can move on to the exchange of information.”General Lane barks, leaning forward on his meaty forearms.“Tell us your terms.”

Kara turns her grin on him.“I don’t have any.”

“You don’t?”confusion colors the General’s words and the council shifts in response.

“Nope.”Kara pops her ‘p’ and leans back in her chair, looking for all the world like she’s got nothing to lose.Which, given what she had told Alex that morning, might very well be true.

“Then…”Lena blinks, her eyes returning to normal, more green than black now as she becomes less enthused by the blonde’s presence.“You will share the information you have stolen?”

“Well…” The blonde shifts, the first sign she’s shown that she’s even remotely uncomfortable.A glance at Winn has her firming up again.“You haven’t really told me why I should.”

“Ms…”

“Just Kara.”

“Kara.”Lena concedes, brow crinkling as she continues in that same even tone.“Without that information the rebellion _will_ suffer; you do know that don’t you?”

“No.”Her own brows crinkling, Kara folds her hands over her belly and Alex is certain that if the chair could spin, she’d be spinning right now.“But what I _do_ know is that if I give you that information, you’ll go after the Sith.I know that in the goal of ending this war, the rebellion will do _whatever_ it is they think is necessary and—”

“The Sith?”General Haley snarls, “that’s who you’re concerned with?Those monsters?”

“They’ve killed _millions_ of people.Slaughtered them like animals!You cannot be seriously siding with them.In front of _us!_ ”Eliza’s eyebrows are in her hair, hands sweeping along the table to emphasize her final point.

It’s a solid argument, Alex concedes, although neither her nor her team says anything to support it.If Kara had come to the heart of the rebellion to try out her Sith sympathizer act, it was a weird venue choice on her part.

Still, Alex had brought her here to listen and so she would.All other plans would be for emergency use only.

Kara smiles, and it looks odd on her face.She seems… disappointed.

“Generals,” the blonde starts, her hands unfolding and allowing her the recourse to straighten her posture.Kara lays her hands flat on the table in front of her, staring at the dark oak with a furrowed brow.“I understand that you have been hurt; that you have felt immeasurable loss.Trust me, I can feel your pain—”

“Young lady—" General Lane barks, but Kara continues as if she hadn’t heard him.Alex had and she knows Lucy had.The Lane matriarch had been one of those losses that Kara was speaking about with such little emotion.Alex surreptitiously moves her knee closer to Lucy’s, her friends jaw stiffening at the contact.

“There are evil beings within the Sith numbers.Truly horrendous souls who should not be allowed to exist.And with them are the souls that we can still save.”

Lane makes to leap across the table, but a quick hand placed on his shoulder by Lena has him immobile.Another one of her species tricks.Instant paralysis.

“You all joined the rebellion because you believed in a cause.More often than not you were offered a choice and you chose to fight.The people trapped in the Sith employ did not have that choice.They were culled or they were killed.That’s it.There are people working for the Sith who are only doing so to protect their families, or their planets, the same way as you.But you’d kill them in your pursuit of victory.”

Lena narrows her eyes, “I am sure they would understand and even welcome such a feat if it meant their captors death.”

“I’m not.”Unexpectedly, Kara turns to look at Alex, blue gaze piercing.“Are you?”

Swallowing, Alex forces herself to breathe, to relax.Her truth is what takes precedent, no matter what, after that they could discuss changing minds.J’onn had never let her think otherwise.

But… why had Kara asked _her?_ Was Lucy talking too much?Or maybe… had Winn hacked her records?!

“No, I’m not.”Fuming she may be, but she won’t lie.She’d been held captive by evil men for most of her childhood.If someone had killed them, she wouldn’t have minded.If someone had killed her to _get_ to them…It got a whole lot hairier after that.

“Alex.”The amount of disapproval in Eliza’s tone is impressive; Alex can already feel the nausea building from the building tension.Right now, she wishes that she had a mug of Ergesh rum to quell the rising anxiety in her belly.

To make matters worse, she can _feel_ Kara’s eyes on her.Kara has made no attempts to hide her staring in the past but for some reason her staring now feels terrible.

Before Kara had stared at her with an acute interest, like she was trying to figure out exactly what made Alex, Alex.

Now it feels like judgement.

It feels like she’s lost something.

“Council—”

“Young lady I would suggest silence before I remove your tongue.”General Lane spits, his face well and truly purple now.The only thing on him that has not changed color is the fine white buzzcut on top of his head.Even the white of his eyes have gone red, making the blue irises contrast in a decisively unattractive manner.“Commander Danvers would do well to remember that the Sith are liars, murderers and thieves.”

“Not all of the Sith!”Kara asserts without batting an eye, finally some agitation entering her features.“And of the ones that are, not all of them have much say in the matter.”

Eliza shakes her head, eyes wide with shock and bemusement.“Well, this I have to hear.”

If she’d meant to hurt Kara or give her a reason for silence, then she’d done a poor job.Alex is still feeling much too raw from their earlier interaction to intercede so soon, but she finds there’s no need.Apparently Kara draws the line at intolerance of any kind.The hope this girl gives off is _ridiculous._

“You left them.”Kara accuses.Her tone is biting and, when Alex chances a look at her, she sees that Kara’s eyes are narrowed and her upper lip is slightly curled.“Your “Great Republic”. You left the people you were meant to serve in the dust.Do you have any idea what it was like on those planets?The quality of life?”

“The Jedi—”

Kara’s eyes snap to Lena’s and Alex swears they almost seem to glow.“The Jedi were the problem! You culled their children like cattle, taking those who were even the least bit force sensitive.Tearing them from their families and sparing not a single glance towards the one’s you left behind.The Jedi saw _everything, took_ what they deemed _valuable,_ and then did _nothing._ ”

“You blame us.”Lena states, frowning as understanding falls across the room.

“You created the laws; it was your duty to protect the Republic and the people in it.Instead you created a government where only the cruel and dishonest could prosper and the people you were meant to serve were forced into any job they could find to survive.That means stealing and lying and cheating and yeah… becoming a Sith.You created this world.The Sith Lords were just opportunists who saw a lost people and gave them a means to care for themselves and their families.That you would fault civilians for that—punish them for escaping from the corner _you_ painted them into— _that_ is why I don’t trust you.”

The entire hall falls silent, most of the council glaring at Kara so harshly that Alex kind of expects her to combust on the spot.Maggie is staring at her hands though and Lucy… Lucy is staring at Kara.

Alex hadn’t been under any illusions that either of her friends were very fond of the alien; since the moment they’d met, Kara had only seemed to be capable of getting in the way but now…

It’s never quite been explained that way before and Alex and Lucy are both products of this war.Maggie too.

Doing what you can to get even a small piece of security for your family?That’s the simplest thing in the world to understand.Wrapping her mind around a _Sith_ feeling that way, Force powered or not, that might take some work.

If Alex even decides to put in the effort.

She doubts she’ll ever open her heart to them the way Kara has but maybe a Sith genocide isn’t necessary to win this war.It’s actually kind of nice to think about _not_ having to kill everyone.

Sam Lane looks like someone just cut off his entire oxygen supply and Alex suspects only Lena’s hand on his shoulder has kept him seated.

“There has to be some sort of conversation.”Kara says after a few tense moments, turning back to the council.“Between the two sides when this is all over.And in order to do that, there needs to be _two_ _sides_.”

Lena nods slowly, looking down the table at her fellows to garner their opinion.“We can negotiate the terms—”

“I’m not a politician.”Kara shakes her head, leaning back in her chair again and looking slightly drained.“Nor do I have any desire to act on terms for any party.I just want this war to be over.I had hoped you would be able to help but—”

“We can.”Lucy sits up, eyes hard.“You don’t want the rebel army involved so they won’t be.”

General Lane looks like Lucy has just cut off one of his medals.“ _Lucy.”_

Lucy turns her glare on Alex and Alex, feeling the annoyance momentarily kick Eliza’s disapproval to the side, narrows her eyes in thought before huffing.

Her mother is going to kill her.

“Council,” Eliza looks between Alex, Lucy and Kara with a death glare.Had Alex still been a child she would have been very afraid.As it is, she’s just annoyed with Lucy for forcing her hand and heavily dreading the moment Eliza gets her alone.“Kara is… not incorrect.”

“Kara’s been traveling with us,” Maggie confirms with a nod, leaning forward to join her friends in their debate.“She’s a good kid and she wants to do good.And right or wrong about the Sith, she _is_ correct in saying that this needs to be a small operation, not one for the entire Rebel fleet.”

A very good point.

Frowning thoughtfully, Alex picks up almost immediately once Maggie is done.“If Lucy and I escort Kara and Schott to this weapon’s location, we’ll have a better chance of taking the Sith off guard and getting them in to dismantle it.”

“Four people?”Eliza questions.“For the fate of the galaxy?”

Kara’s nose wrinkles.“An extremely intelligent programmer; a pilot who jumped us off of an exploding _planet;_ a captain—”

“Commander.”Maggie corrects.

“—Commander, who booby trapped her ship to save her crew; and an almost functional droid!”

There’s a moment of silence, everyone but Winn exchanging confused glances while the man himself turns red and slinks down in his chair.

“Droid?”Lucy asks, bravely in Alex’s opinion.This girl was so _weird._ She had no problem protecting Kara but man, could she ease up just a little?“Are Kryptonian’s synthetic?”

“ _No_!”Kara balks, before realization dawns on her face.“Oh, no.My friend Dox.He’s really cool.You’ll like him when you get the chance to meet him.”

Maggie face palms and joins Winn in his slouch.

“Are we truly leaving the fate of the Galaxy to a bunch of children _with imaginary friends_?”General Haley stresses.

“Hey!”

“I’ll keep an eye on her.”Alex argues.“On all of them.I’ll keep them together.”

“You’re going to take responsibility for this mission?”Lena’s stare is unforgiving, but Alex nods all the same.There’s nothing in her gut telling her this is wrong, and all of her friends are telling her its right.

She’ll take her chances.

“I am.We’ll stop the weapon and report back as soon as we have.From there… you all should consider how we’ll negotiate terms of surrender.”

Kara beams at her and something warm fills Alex’s chest.There’s such a childlike admiration to Kara’s personality that you can’t help but know is genuine.Alex has never had anyone who was _actually_ happy with something she did.It’s small but it feels nice.

The holes her mother’s glare is burning through her skull… less so.

“And what will your spy be doing?”Haley questions, her hard glare on Maggie.It always, always fell on Maggie.

Skin prickling with the need to do something but unable to fathom _what,_ Alex tries giving Haley a taste of her own medicine.Haley’s eyes don’t even budge.

“Maggie will be tracking the Sith who were no doubt sent after us.They’re bound to have realized that we escaped the destruction of Taris; with Maggie keeping her ear to the ground, we’ll hopefully have enough time to stay a few steps ahead of them.”

Haley’s focus switches to her and Alex fights the urge to scowl.She really does not like this woman.

“Are you sure she can handle that?With her… proclivities?”

“I’m sure.”

Whatever stand off they may have had over it is cut off by Sam Lane and for the first time Alex is grateful for his brutish presence.

“I demand a display of competence.”General Lane snarls, his meaty fist slamming down on the table.“You want to hold my fate in your hands, you better be damn willing to prove you’re capable.”

Kara nods.“Done.”

“Then we shall reconvene in the morning for a display of your skills—”

“May I have two days to rest?”Kara requests, “I’m still not quite feeling much like myself from the time we were on the red planet.”

Glancing around, Lena notes the looks of approval from her colleagues and nods her acquiescence. 

“May we ignite the spark.”Lena concludes, nodding to her fellows before rising and starting the exit.The council leaves in varying states of anger, General Lane all but stomping from the room.

Lucy is going to hear about it tomorrow.

“Alex, I’d like a moment if I may?” Eliza’s request is done is her usual poised manner, but Alex isn’t deceived.

Alex is going to hear about it right _now_.

~*~

As soon as the rest of the hall empties, Eliza, standing behind her chair, drops her head into her palm, pinching the skin between her brows.

“I need to make sure that I have this correct.Did you, just a moment ago, sign yourself up for a _suicide_ mission?”

“No.”

“Alex.”Her mother’s voice has a warning edge to it and, when she looks up, her eyes are the darkest blue Alex has seen since they told her Jeremiah was gone.“It’s like battling a wookie with you!Every time!I _want_ an explanation.”

Teeth grinding together, Alex bites the inside of her cheek for a count of five to hold back the angry retort on the tip of her tongue.Eliza doesn’t want an explanation she wants an apology.She’s wanted an apology for years, ever since Alex had come back and her husband hadn’t.

She may have never said as much, but Alex has learned to read between the lines, and she is _sick_ of Eliza acting like they’re normal and fine when they aren’t.Alex has been holding her tongue all this time because she hadn’t wanted to cause any trouble.She’d wanted Eliza to love her; love her enough to forgive her for getting her father killed.Now that she’s an adult, she’s realized that that isn’t ever going to happen.

Eliza is never going to forgive her, and Alex is never going to be good enough to have warranted the loss of Jeremiah.

It’s a lost battle.

And loathe as she is to admit it, Alex knows that Eliza isn’t the only one still fighting it.

“Kara has crucial information that can help the rebellion, but she won’t share it because she wants to prevent loss of life.”Eliza opens her mouth to protest and Alex quickly talks over her.“On _both_ sides mom.She’s trying to do something good.”

Scoffing, her mother gives her an exasperated look.“Surely you don’t believe that something of that caliber is even possible!”

“Maybe not,” Alex admits, “but she hasn’t given me any reason not to trust her.”

“Oh Alex.You and this code of honor.There are _bad_ people in the world honey.”

“I know.I’m the one who kills them.”

Eliza’s jaw clicks audibly, the muscles in her face twitching before she turns away.Alex exhales slowly, trying not to let her shaking limbs show.Eliza has always had a way of getting under her skin.

“We don’t know anything about this woman.”Eliza tries again, voice softer and with a pleading edge.“This could be a trap.”

“J’onn would have told me if it was.”

“Honey… we’ve talked about this.J’onn J’onzz is not what he was.You can’t—”

“I can.And I will.”

“ _Alex_.”

“I’m not a child anymore Eliza.”

“I realize that Alex; but when you keep making these foolish decisions—”

“They’re only foolish to you because you don’t agree with them!”

“They are foolish because they’re going to get you killed!”

“A small group moves faster and quieter than an army.This plan can _work_.”

“I forbid you from having any part in it!”

“You can’t _forbid_ me to do anything!”

“God Alex!Do you have a _death_ wish?!”

_I have an ‘I want to stay the hell away from you wish!’_

It’s what she wants to say but doesn’t and the words practically choke her.She balls her hands into fists to release at least some of her rage.Some of the indignation that wants to come out.

Everything she’d done had been to make her mother proud and it still wasn’t enough.

“I think we’re done here.”

“Alex.”Eliza warns, eyes widening when her daughter ignores her and marches towards the door.“Alex!”

Ignoring the fading shouts, Alex focuses only on getting the hell away from that hall.She winds up in the woods again, the trees directly in front of the building seeming like a great place to go to get away from her mother.The setting sun reminds her that the dinner bell has already rung but she has no intentions of making her way to the dining hall.

There’s too much anger in her right now.

Way too much.

“Do you fight with your mother often?”

Stumbling over her own feet, Alex turns the near fall into a roll, coming back up with her blaster in hand and aimed at Kara’s head.The Kryptonian is perched on a tree branch, prone on her stomach while she munches on what looks like a sandwich.One of her legs swing freely below her, while the other remains attached to the tree by her ankle.

Such a fucking weirdo.

Lowering the gun, Alex tries to calm her racing heart.Kara’s question hasn’t been posed out of curiosity; her voice is much too soft for that.

Still, it sets Alex on edge.

“Often enough.”

Kara nods, props her head up on one fist lazily.“I never argued with my mother.Or my father for that matter. I don’t have any advice to give you.”

“Don’t remember asking for any.”Alex grumps, sliding down until she’s sitting at the base of the tree.

A wrapped lump falls in her lap, a canteen thunking noisily against her head.

“Rao, I’m sorry.I got distracted!Those are for you!I meant to tell you they were for you but… distraction.”

“By what?”Alex asks incredulously, her head, already smarting from her anger, now just full of pain and achiness.

“You were sad.”

She says it like that should explain everything.Like Alex should just understand why that is a good excuse for getting walloped.

It isn’t.

Her head hurts now on top of her heart.

Kara’s just made things _worse._

Heaving a sigh, Alex picks up the dropped lump and unwraps it to reveal a sandwich packed to the brim with warm meats and melted cheeses.It’s a long loaf and Alex probably would only be able to finish half of it.The canteen is full of cranberry juice, which Alex thankfully likes.If Kara had gotten this spread for Lucy, she would have probably gotten hit.

“Thank you.”

They eat in silence, Alex sagging against the tree as the day’s frustrations ease.This dance is not a new one, and in a few more minutes she’ll have stuffed everything Eliza had said into a box in the back of her head.By the time they’re back on the Ebon Hawk, she’ll be back to her normal self.

She just wishes things weren’t quite so contentious between them.

Kara says that she’d never fought with her parents.Alex wonders if she would have fought with her dad.If he would have been as disappointed in her as her mother was.

“Her heart rate increased.”

The thought comes out of nowhere and, when Alex glances up, Kara is now on her back, the tree branch running nearly perfectly along her spine.

“What?”

“Your mother.When you were arguing, her heart rate increased.”

Alex goes back to her sandwich.“Yeah, she got mad.We both did.”

“She was afraid.”Kara says.“I… what I represent scares her.Humans experience specific increases in their cardiac and lymphatic systems when under stress.She is afraid for you.”

“Humans also know how to mind their own business.”

Kara laughs softly, the sound tinkling down and soothing Alex.“I told you I can’t help it.Not all of the time at least.”

Alex thinks of J’onn and his own inability to always control his mind reading.

“That’s ok.I get it.”She takes a sip from the canteen.“So humans sweat and get tachycardic when they experience fear huh?Where’d you learn that, science class?”

Alex had meant it as a joke but when Kara remains silent, she’s afraid she’s actually offended the girl.

Or maybe brought up painful memories.Maybe Kara was thinking of all of her classmates in Science class she’d never see again.

Foot meet mouth.

“No,” Kara finally admits quietly.There’s a soft rustling and some leaves drop on Alex’s head.By the time she looks up, Kara has climbed down the tree and is sitting stiffly next to Alex.She’s still in her blue and red onesie despite the heat but her feet are bare.The dry blonde hair is pulled away from her face in a multitude of tiny braids that Alex believes she can blame Nia for.She looks like one of those space pirates from the children’s books.“No, I did not learn that from science class.”Kara gives her a smile that doesn’t reach her eyes, the expression fraying at the ends as her shoulders droop under an imaginary weight.“And it isn’t only a human thing.I think it’s just a people thing.”

There’s no guilty feeling for helping to put that look on Kara’s face but Alex still feels like shit.Not personally, not because she had done anything per se but… she kind of hates seeing Kara anything but her usual happy self.

It feels _wrong_ to see her like this.

Breaking off the bottom half of her sandwich, Alex offers it up to Kara.

“Your people need to eat nearly three times as much as a human.This is way too much food for me.Share?”

Kara’s eyes light up and she happily accepts the offering.

There’s not much talking after that.Mostly they just eat, comfortable with the fact that they’re not alone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> NIA!!! The Dreamer still dreams. About Alex's death but still... dreams are dreams.
> 
> And we meet J'onn who's... not all there but still really cool. Ok, I dig it.
> 
> And then we get a mention of Querl Dox... wonder where he's been... what role could he have possibly played?
> 
> I'm on the fence with Haley; I didn't see enough of her character to tell if she was a good person or not. Which may have been the point but... when she "threatened" Kara in the show, it kind of seemed like she didn't like it. She said the words and what not but she didn't seem pleased. For sure she was a good soldier following all orders, but I wonder if she would have actually gone through with it. Where would her line have been? … I don't explore that in this story but it's definitely something I'm interested in.
> 
> Sam Lane is an asshole.
> 
> So we're breaking up the Alex, Maggie, Lucy trifecta but who do you think will be in greater danger? Dun, dun, dun.
> 
> Think that's it... thoughts? questions? concerns? We're gaining traction folks! Moving into STORY territory. Yee Haw!


	10. Ch 8: Then I Saw Her Face

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Our mission begins.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Last Time of Dragon Ball Z:  
> Alex, a commander in the Rebel army, is tasked with getting the plans of a super weapon from the Legion's super android Braniac. Unfortunately plans go very badly but Kara and Winn manage to save the Rebels and in turn are given passage off Taris. Which gets destroyed by the Legion's Sith Lord Kaznia.
> 
> Before she destroys the planet, Kaznia saves a young boy from potentially being eaten and takes him back as an acolyte. Her Master is much more concerned with his plans getting to the Rebel Generals and orders her to hunt the Rebels down.
> 
> Meanwhile, Alex and Co. go to Yavin to meet with the Rebel council. They need Kara and Winn to cooperate with them and eventually manage to broker a deal wherein Alex and Lucy will at least be able to assist the odd duo in their quest with the Rebel army on standby as backup.
> 
> Alex is conflicted between following orders and seeing the Rebels win the war and listening to her mentor J'onn Jones and protecting Kara, a promise she's already made. Plus, Kara doesn't seem so bad. Being hopeful doesn't make you a bad guy and she's kind of growing on Alex.
> 
> Just a little.
> 
> Song: I'm a Believer- The Monkees

“Nia told me all sorts of things about you, you know.She says you’re the best Captain in the entire fleet.”

“Not a captain.”

“She said you’re the Scourge of the skies; Faster than a Blaster; Captain Victory; Captain Prot—”

“You shouldn’t hang around Nia.”Alex interrupts, already feeling her mounting exasperation.She’s laid in her now usual spot on their chosen tree’s roots, fresh from a fight with Eliza.She’d found Kara the same place they’d met that first night or maybe Kara had found her. Either way it had been simple to fall back into the familiarity of silence.Kara had offered her a bowl of stew and rice and a canteen of water and Alex had settled in for a long night.Neither had mentioned that Kara being here with food had probably meant that she had listened in.Again.

“You’re the one who _left_ me with Nia.”Kara accused.While she may have only known Kara for a few weeks now, Alex could already see those blue eyes narrowing, the mischievous grin forming.

She doesn’t dignify that with a response.

After the meeting with the council, Kara had followed through with Commander Lane’s demands.She’d shown up for his initial “trials” and battled a droid.One of the engineers had taken one look at the cheerful smile and the blonde hair and snorted a contentious bet on the droid’s behalf.Kara hadn’t reacted so Alex doubts that she had actually heard but it had still made Alex annoyed enough to speak up and place her own bet on Kara.

Kara had of course won that day.And the next.And the next.They’d basically been held hostage by the Council—re: Eliza and Lane—for almost a week before Alex had announced their departure for the following morning.No one had been very happy with that but then Kara had passed every test that they had thrown at her with flying colors.And Winn’s reputation spoke for itself.

They had no reason to hold them and the longer they delayed, the more people who would be hurt in this war.

Nothing, not even Eliza’s disappointment would make Alex allow that to continue.

“You know…” Kara tries, “you’re really famous.Everyone talks about you.”

Returning to the conversation at hand, Alex decides to leave that prompt unanswered as well.

“It’s interesting… getting to know about you from other people.You’re every bit as wonderful as I imagined.”

Alex’s brows scrunch together all on their own, her mouth forming a thin line, though she keeps her eyes firmly on the night sky.If her hands hadn’t been tucked into a pillow behind her head, Alex might have even thrown something at Kara to make sure the woman was sober.As it is, she is much too comfortable.

“You’re gorked.”

Kara smiles at her beatifically.“And you’re lovely.”

For some reason, that makes her heart skip a few beats, heat flooding her cheeks while Alex grumbles a nonreply.She’s very skilled in the art of feigning ignorance and right now she’s going to ignore all of this is happening.

Kara laughs, the sound falling into play with the gentle stream a few feet away from them.It makes something in Alex’s belly tighten and she idly relieves a hand from its pillow duties to scratch at the offending spot.

“You don’t know how to take compliments very well do you?”

“Is your hair getting darker?”

Alex may not be able to sleep—she usually has a rough go of it whenever she and Eliza have a fight—but that doesn’t mean she wants to allow this line of questioning.Well used to her mind’s overactivity after a bout with her mother, she’d already relegated herself to a sleepless night.She had not accounted for the blonde nuisance deciding to stay up with her.

Opening her eyes again, Alex allows them to adjust in the bright moonlight, taking in the starry sky and the tree filled canopy.Amidst the shadows she can just spot Kara, the white of her teeth flashing when she smiles.

The alien is hanging upside down from a branch, but where before her hair had been straw colored and dry, it was now more of a warm honey color.At least most of it was, the ends were still just as frayed as before.Alex was actually kind of concerned.

A feeling she knew was only exposed because of her current state of mental activity being greater than her actual activity… activity.

Kara, still hanging like some sort of weird marsupial, merely hums her acknowledgement but Alex can just make out a slight blush from where she’s sitting below.She waits patiently, sure that of the two of them Kara will be the one to break.

She’s not wrong.

“It’s your sun; Kryptonian’s can—”

“Heal under a yellow sun.Draw power.”

Kara’s lips quirk.“What a wise Captain.” 

“So your hair was damaged before is what you’re saying.”

“I suppose… you don’t smile much do you?”

And they’re back to talking about Alex.“Why do you care if I smile?”

“I just like seeing you happy is all.”

“I don’t smile when I’m happy.”

“You also don’t talk much.At least not in long sentences.”

“Taciturn.”Alex sighs, closing her eyes again and resuming her post argument brain argument.

“That’s… I’m not very good with the common tongue.I only learned it a few years ago and some words are still… not clear.”

“I’ll buy you a dictionary.”

There’s the sound of scraping bark, a few leaves hit her face and then Kara is sitting in front of her, cross legged.“I would appreciate that very much Captain.”

“I’m a general.”

“Captain sounds cooler.”

“Why do _you_ talk so much?”Alex asks instead of responding to yet another inane opinion.

“Because I didn’t get to say the things I wanted to say before Krypton exploded.”

A huge lump of guilt settles high in Alex’s chest, pressing uncomfortably around her throat and forcing her to sit up or gag.Kara has ducked her head, hiding her face from Alex while one of her hands rubs at her eye.

“Kara…I’m—shit I’m sorry I didn’t mean—”

The Kryptonian’s head pops up, bright grin in place, hands locked around her ankles while she leans back at a dangerous angle.“Ah, don’t worry about it; I’m just messin with ya.”

Alex releases a long-suffering sigh and gently punches the girl in the shoulder.“That was a dick move.”

“Yeah but I saw a twitch.”Kara accuses excitedly, finger pointing at Alex’s mouth.“There was an _almost_ smile.”

“Almost smiles are not really smiles.”Surprisingly, the voices in Alex’s head have quieted down.She takes the opportunity to stand, offering Kara her hand and helping her to her feet.“Come on alien girl, let’s get you to the bunks.We could both use the sleep.Don’t forget we leave at dawn.”

Something about Kara’s face gentles, the expression softening as she falls in step next to Alex.

“I haven’t forgotten,” Kara says softly, fingers twisting in front of her, “thank you for agreeing to accompany me.”

“It’s no big deal.”It really isn’t; Alex goes where the rebellion needs her to go.Also, she’ll take any excuse to get away from her mother. __

Kara’s lips thin and she shrugs.“It is to me.”

~*~

“We should have brought Maggie.”Lucy grumbles from her seat behind the controls.

Alex doesn’t even look up from her daggers, studying the blades’ edge with a critical eye.Having shitty gear could mean the difference between life and death and, as much as she knew this mission might not be safest, she was also loathed to allow her mother even a smidge of anything to hold over her head.She was going to come back alive if only to spite Eliza.

“Why are we going to Fodu anyway?”

“To get—”

“Winn’s main processing core.I know.”

“Then why did you ask?”

“Because!”Lucy huffs, folding her arms across her chest.“I don’t understand why we need to go all the way to Fodu to get this thing.I mean, do you realize how many planets are on the way that have better processing cores?”

“Winn built this one.”Looking up, Alex narrows her eyes at her friend, watching the green eyes flicker in inattention.“What’s up Luce?This was your idea.”

It takes a few seconds for Lucy to crack but, when she does, she does so by slouching even further into her seat and running a disgruntled hand down her face.Alex allows her a few more minutes to sulk, idly going back to sharpening the metal in her lap.Lucy will talk when she’s ready and until then, Alex can multitask.

“I know.”Her friend finally admits.“I know it was but I kind of thought signing us up for this would mean the destruction of the Sith.Not shopping for Team Rocket’s favorite household items.”

Alex purses her lips.“Did you seriously just reference a children’s show?”

“We _were_ children you asshole.”

“Not for at least a decade now so I’m gonna call bullshit.”

“Alex.I like Kara and Winn.I do.They’re cool but do you seriously think we have time for this?”

Frowning, Alex pauses in her blade sharpening, her calf jumping and starting an agitated leg bounce.In truth she was fairly skeptical of why they needed this particular processor, but she was a soldier first and she liked to follow orders.Her current orders were to escort Kara and Winn on their journey to eliminate the Sith threat.If they needed a highly specialized processor to get the job done, Alex wasn’t going to argue with them.

But she also understood where Lucy was coming from.For as long as they had known each other, Lucy and Alex had quietly raged against the acts of the Legion.For them, it wasn’t some abstract idea that this war existed and was mercilessly ending lives.For them, they’d lived it.Lost parents to it.

It was why they’d enlisted.Aside from the fact that revenge felt like a good idea at the time, there was also the lame idea that they might be able to prevent other children from feeling the way that they had felt their entire lives.Scared and alone.

Neither Eliza Danvers or Sam Lane were very great at offering understanding to their children, lumping insurmountable expectations on them and offering no encouragement thereafter.For all intents and purposes, Lucy and Alex really had only ever had each other, and then later Maggie.Now that they’re finally doing something worthwhile, a mission that might have actual tangible results… well, she can understand why Lucy is frustrated.

“We’ll get the chip.”Alex asserts after a moment of thought.“And if they try to lead us astray on another useless errand then we’ll confront them.Everyone gets _one_ Lucy.”

Lucy sighs but nods, her expression thoughtful enough that Alex feels it safe to return to her task.“Aye, aye Captain.”

She nearly slices her fingers open when they automatically twitch at the incorrect title.As it is, the glare she aims at Lucy is strong enough to cut through glass.Her companion doesn’t think so, choosing instead to grab the controls and turn them towards the planet that has just come into view.

“I really like Kara,” Lucy chuckles, “just the most adorable little alien that I’ve ever met ya know?”

Alex does not know.Alex is not amused.Alex is going to have a very strongly worded conversation with the Kryptonian.

~*~

Fodu was an interesting world.

If interesting translated into beautifully seedy.Most of the planet was trees and water, with below ocean habitation that screamed wealth.There were no class levels like there had been on Taris, instead the Foduans had established a very simple rule: if you could not afford to live on the planet, then you did not belong on the planet.

Which meant you could find all manner of people, from crime lords and gamblers to established merchants and ship builders. It was also one of the few places that a person could get the prized Kyber crystals that the Jedi and Sith craved so much.It made Fodu a neutral zone, although the planet’s leaders had decided long ago that if they wanted to keep it that way, they needed to keep the warring factions as distant allies.No Jedi or Sith, or Force Sensitive person really was allowed to step foot on Fodu.In return, the government agreed to trade with all parties at equal and fair trading prices.

None of this was news to anyone in their party, and, while Alex herself had never been to Fodu, she was not nearly as nervous as Kara appeared to be.Initially she had thought it was excitement that had the Kryptonian fidgeting, and it might very well be, but the way Kara was twisting her fingers in front of her made Alex think it was a bit more than that.

And if it was, then she needed to know.

“Is there something you’re not telling me?”Alex asks candidly, walking up to Kara while she’s standing by the bay doors.The girl flinches violently but Alex ignores that, looking Kara up and down for anything out of place.

Her hair has changed to become an all over deep golden honey color rather than the whitish straw it had been when Alex had first seen her.It’s still up in the pirate braids but pulled away from her face.And she still has that red and blue unitard in place, the stitching still looking more metallic thread than actual stitches.The finger loops are over either middle finger and her deep red boots have been spiffed to perfection.

“Are you meeting someone on this planet?”Lucy accuses, hands coming up to her hips as she walks up behind them.

The accusation surprises Alex for all of five seconds before she takes a second look at Kara and gets it.Clearly Kara is trying to impress someone and for some reason, that makes Alex feel weird.

“Me?!”Kara balks, speechless for all of five seconds before her hands come up and start waving around in front of her.“No!No ma’am!I don’t—that is, my people are—we don’t believe in pol—”

“Whatever.”Lucy waves a hand, cutting off the rambling before Kara gains anymore steam.“Your personal shit is yours, but if we feel like it’s compromising the mission—”

“A mission that is ours.”Winn pipes up from behind Alex, the unimpressive man continuing passed her to stand by Kara’s side.He probably tries to look intimidating but honestly doesn’t accomplish much more than looking like he has zero training whatsoever.“Respectfully.Ma’am.We obviously appreciate all support.”

Alex rolls her eyes and shakes her head at all of them, palm hitting the release on the hatch.

“Comms test.”Alex says into her earpiece, nodding when Kara and Winn give her a thumbs up.

“Read you loud and clear Egghead.”Lucy returns.

“Keep her warm Lucy, I don’t expect to be here long.”

With that, Alex exits the ship, the glistening blue of the dome covered ceiling hitting her as soon as she steps out.The entire walkway is made of a thick glass, the ocean surrounding them on all sides while the aquatic fauna swim past at a leisurely pace.Alex can just barely make out the sun from this depth, and as they walk deeper down the empty gangplank, the soft white light fades until a deep blue surrounds them on all sides.

“This is beautiful.”Kara whispers from beside her.

Alex agrees.However, there’s a group of Thargarians at the end of the tunnel and they don’t look very pleased to see them.Focusing on beauty is hardly anything Alex wants to get involved in.And she also needs these two to not say anything weird.They won’t be getting Winn’s chip if they can’t get on the planet.No way is Alex going to piss off an entire government for a piece of computer scrap.

She’s opened her mouth to say this, has just turned to the blonde at her side and her companion, when Kara turns to her at the exact same moment.

After that, Alex isn’t quite sure what happens.There was a thought, a slowly dawning revelation that the water around them was almost the exact same shade of blue as Kara’s.They’d even sparkled the same, shimmering against each other in a dance only they seemed to know.Kara had been smiling, eyes wide with wonder and Alex had fallen.

Literally.

She’d accidentally kicked the back of her shoe and fallen to one knee, a startled yelp making its way out of her throat.Winn had hissed at her, hurrying to her side while Kara had stooped next to her in concern.Not even trying to hide his displeasure, Winn had hauled them both to their feet, although Kara had still been fussing over Alex, asking about her knee.

“This is _not_ the place to fool around Alex!Do you not see those big scary lugs?Now they think you’re a klutz!You’re supposed to be the muscle!”

“Winn.”Kara admonishes quietly before Alex can interject.“Stop it; she’s hurt.”To Alex she asks, “are you ok?”

“Yeah.”Crap.Why does her voice sound like that?What is happening?“Peachy.”

Kara smiles again and pats her shoulder.“I would have tripped too if I weren’t an alien.This is all so… just _wow._ I mean Winn’s only being all grouchy because he’s seen it before, you know?But for us newbies, it’s still breathtaking.”

Alex nods but it’s more for something to do than any actual agreement she might feel.Wisely, she chooses to keep her eyes forward and ignore Winn muttering under his breath.Whatever the fuck had just happened she couldn’t dwell on it.The next few minutes could spell life or death for any of them.Kara seems to realize that too as she loses the smile and starts fiddling with her sleeves again.

In front of them the Thargarians are waiting, one of them with a thick staff hefted over his shoulder.This species is moss green in color, with a head like a hammerhead shark and the intelligence of a human.The rumor was that they are what humans would have been had they not evolved to become land creatures.Thargarians were a weird halt in the evolutionary process.They were also incredibly smart and impossibly candid.Lying wasn’t in their DNA.

They didn’t understand it, which made them the perfect species to spot liars.Not physically but through the huge biometric scanners surrounding the entrance to planet.No one could bribe them to turn the scanners off or let them through.They were given a job and they fulfilled that job to the best of their abilities. They didn’t really operate in grey areas.

Which is why Alex needed to focus.She knew for a fact that she wasn’t hiding anything, but Kara and Winn were shrouded in secrets.As nervous as they _both_ were acting—because Alex had seen Winn wiping some sweat from his brow—she knew she’d need to be ready for a quick exit.

Pasting a confident look on her face, Alex squares her shoulders and approaches the guards with purpose, nodding at the foremost alien.

“Hello, my name is Carol Grey, and these are my companions, Izzy and George.We’d like to request access to your planet for entertainment purposes.”

Her body is already in range of the truth scanners and luckily nothing beeps.Alex already has it in her mind to grab a drink at the local cantina while she’s here.Anything this ritzy has to have good booze.And, if it has good booze, then Alex can usually be found close by.

“I am Malex.What sort of entertainment are you seeking human?”Though the Thargarian speaks common, the words sound more like gargling water than anything else.If Alex hadn’t grown up around a multitude of species, she’d have difficulties with the accent.

“Your alcohol of course.And my friends would like to view your technology up close, maybe play a few hands of Pazaak.Just normal tourist stuff.”

Malex makes a grunting sound, nodding solemnly and turning to one of his companions who has been monitoring the screens the entire time.When the other alien gives an approving nod, he smiles warmly and gestures them in.

“Welcome to Fodu.There are no weapons allowed, nor violence of any kind besides the fighting rings.Please keep our laws and practices and we will make sure you have a pleasant and safe stay.”

It’s a little dry for a tourist greeting but Alex smiles at Malek all the same, allowing Kara and Winn to hurry past her before passing the guards herself.

It’s only slightly anti-climactic that they make it through with such little trouble, but Alex has been at this for years now and deceit is almost second nature.What had just happened with Kara… was not.

She can feel the blonde’s eyes on her as Winn chatters away about his amazing processor and how it will help triangulate the Sith’s weapon for them.Alex barely pays him any mind, too focused on keeping Kara in her peripherals and not making any sort of eye contact whatsoever.

And it’s not like she doesn’t know her behavior is confusing.Up until this point, she’d been perfectly content to listen to Kara prattle on about anything and everything.That she is now isolating herself from seemingly nowhere is a huge clue that something is up.

The problem is that Alex has no idea what that something is.

She’d just completely lost control of herself at a crucial moment in their mission because…

Well she wasn’t certain why.

It’s just…

Kara had…

And her eyes…

Alex huffs and follows Winn when he turns a corner, hands getting jammed into her pockets in frustration.There was no rhyme or reason to her mishap.Kara was who she had always been and Alex noticing her eye color shouldn’t have made her heart stop like that.It shouldn’t have redirected all of her blood away from her brain.

It made no sense.

When Kara comes up next to her, gently sliding her hand to wrap around Alex’s bicep, and startling Alex enough that she _does_ look at her, it makes even less sense.

Kara’s got a soft smile on her face, all quirked lips and no teeth.Her brows are furrowed causing a slight crinkle to appear in the middle of her forehead and her eyes are brimming with worry.

Something in Alex’s chest settles while her pulse still thrums a staccato through her veins.

Kara is who she has always been.

But there is definitely something off about Alex.

Looking down the hallway, at the many glances they attract from curios passerby’s, Alex resolves to deal with it later.

They can’t afford for her to be distracted right now.

~*~

“Stay here.”Winn directs them almost as soon as they enter the cantina.

They’re greeted by a beautiful tragruta, the ‘tails’ on it’s head falling down against pinkish red shoulders.She introduces herself as Shoko and leads them to a table in the back.

It’s still way too early for the night life to have started so there’s not much in the way of heavy drinking, but there are still a few patrons in for a late lunch.

Winn gives them his order, “whatever you get Kara,” and ditches them.

Alex sits with her back to the wall, watching from her peripherals as Kara gives their hostess a tight smile and accepts the menu she’s been handed.

When Alex is handed her own small cylinder, she immediately presses the button to reveal the holographic menu. Face bathed in a faint blue light, it’s almost automatic to ask about their drink selection.

“What do you have on tap?”Shoko lists a few lighter beverages and Alex curls her lip.“I’ll just take a Red Dwarf then.”

Handing the menu back to Shoko, Alex almost misses Kara’s look of distaste.

“What?”She asks, happy for a distraction from her muddled thoughts.Perhaps Kara had seen something.

“I’ll just have a water.”Kara states firmly, avoiding Alex’s question with another tight smile at Shoko.“It seems a little early to have anything heavier.

Ah.

So it was the drink.

Shoko accepts both menus but sends Alex a charming smile before leaving.“It’s after dark somewhere Chimere and,” she continues, leaning low enough that Alex has an uninhibited view of her cleavage.“If you stay long enough I for one would enjoy being your… muse, so to speak.”

The sound of something snapping has Alex looking to her left at a sheepish looking Kara, a small piece of wood held aloft in her hand.

“I think this chair is broken; can I get a new one?”

Bewildered, Shoko immediately agrees, taking the broken piece and hurrying away to presumably speak to her boss.

Alex leans back in her chair and gives Kara a once over but, after seeing the innocent smile pasted on the blonde’s mouth, decides it’s not worth it.

“Where is Winn going?”

“To get his chip.”

Sighing, thoroughly done with the circles Kara likes to drag her in, Alex leans forward once more and braces her head in her hands.She does at least wait for a busboy to come with a new chair before probing Kara again.

“Do you enjoy not giving me real answers?”

Kara smirks, “do you enjoy not asking the correct question?”

“What is the right question then?”

“I don’t know,” Kara admits, a more genuine smile on her face now.She moves to match Alex’s posture, allowing her chin to rest in the palm of one hand.“In this particular instance I’m going to assume that you want to know exactly what Winn is doing right now, and that is retrieving his chip.But you also probably want to know why he needed to do this now, and without us.”

“Yes.”

Kara’s smile widens.“I have no idea.”

Baffled, Alex straightens, blinking wide eyes at Kara while trying to make sense of what she’d just said.Alex had been in the academy since she was about fourteen years old.She’d been trained in areas of science, combat, politics, and espionage.

She’d trained solo and with a team.

Not once had she ever worked with anyone who didn’t know the reasoning behind their partner’s motives.

Winn could be doing _anything_ right now, and here Kara was just trusting that he had her best interest at heart.

What the fuck?

“You do realize this is a large planet, right?He could literally be meeting anyone.”

“He probably is.”

“And that doesn’t bother you?”

Kara shakes her head adamantly, “Winn would never cheat on James.”

“That’s…”Alex flounders, simultaneously taking in the information that Winn might be a spy in his own right and that he might be a gay spy which kind of gives him way more cool points then Alex.“That’s not what I meant.”

“Oh… well then, I mean why would it bother me?If Winn is busy with his friends, then that means that—well that you and I could explore.”Kara’s cheeks have turned a bright red and she leans up, allowing her arm to drop between them.Whatever it is she had stopped herself from saying, the words tripping over into something else, she’s embarrassed by it.Alex tilts her head in curiosity.“Neither of us have ever been here before so it might be fun.”

“We have a mission to complete.”Alex states.“While you’re having ‘fun’, people will be dying.”

Kara looks stricken, raising her hands in protest.“No, I mean… yes to what you said it’s true but well we’re here anyway and I just thought—you know what?Never mind, let’s just eat.”

The way the blonde deflates, makes Alex feel marginally bad.Enough so that when Shoko comes back, she orders a grill cheesed sandwich so that Kara doesn’t look quite so concerned.

Kara orders two bowls of rhodian pasta, a Tatooine pizza, and some churros.

Alex respects it.

Having not received any useful information, and also seemingly offended Kara, Alex is silent as she finishes her second drink.She leans back in her chair and takes in the rest of the cantina.

Which is probably how she’s able to spot Winn’s fumbling form as he comes up to their table.

“I’ve got the keys.”He whispers ecstatically.

Neither Alex nor Kara respond, because following behind Winn is a tall Pantoran woman, her hips swaying from side to side as she shuffles a deck of cards in her hands.

“Hello all, I’m afraid you’ll have to actually partake in the activities if you want to stay here.”

“We’re good with our food, thanks.”

The answer, surprisingly, does not come from Alex, but from Kara.Kara whose blue eyes are narrowed as she looks up at the newcomer, hands clenched into fists atop the table, distrust practically seeping from her pores.It makes Alex raise her eyebrows, glancing between the two women to see if they maybe know each other.

From the look on the Pantoran’s face, an amused smirk colored with mischief, Alex is going to say no.Which begs the question of why Kara is acting like the woman shit in her drink.

“I wasn’t asking Chemere, unless of course you’re afraid of a little… competition.”

The Pantoran grabs a chair with her ankle, plopping down next to Alex and quirking a challenging eyebrow at Kara.

The Kryptonian is bristling.Alex believes that, had Kara been a cat, the hair along her back would be standing on end and her back would be in a high arch.

Hissing would not be a far off guess.

“I’m not afraid of anything.”Kara grits out, visibly forcing her body to relax and assuming an air of arrogance.“What game are we playing?”

“Pazaak.We pool ten credits a hand, last hand takes it all.”

“Deal.”

This time, Alex does look at Winn, her own gob smacked expression reflected on his face.

Alex doesn’t know what it is about today, but everything is very, very weird.

~*~

“Slowly,” Kaznia orders, her voice soft as Mikhail continues his paces.Small scraggly arms hold a stick of wood up before dropping it into a sharp swing, Mikhail’s determined gaze on a spot in the distance.“It will take time before you are ready to do anything with speed.Perfect your movements now and when your enemy strikes, you will be able to move as quickly as you want.”

Her words have the desired effect, Mikhail pulling back enough that she can see he is now focused on precision rather than speed.Which is good; for all that she is drawn to the child, she cannot have a sloppy apprentice.Even nestled in Kaznia’s private training quarters on her Star Destroyer, Kaznia cannot afford to show even the slightest hint of weakness.Allowing Mikhail to skip steps would prove only to weaken her position and that cannot happen.

Not when she is so close.

Not when everything she has ever worked for is on the line.

Kaznia knows that she is distracted; knows that if she doesn’t reign in her mind, she will lose the conviction of her troops.

Mikhail’s training is the easiest task she currently has but for some reason, she still finds herself struggling to focus on it.

On anything.

Things have been different since Taris.

Without a doubt Kaznia had known that leveling the planet would affect the Force; that those in tune with its powers would feel the effects and know what had happened.

She’d expected that.

She had not expected the dreams.

As a child, Kaznia would get nightmares about the planets she’d visit.Despite the logic of her purpose, there were still many people who were opposed the Legion’s grand scheme.It made no sense, but in her training Kaznia had learned that even the most rational of beings could be poisoned by the teachings of the Jedi.It had therefore become her responsibility to cull these weak minded individuals, to make way for the new order and a brighter more coordinated future.Naturally, her young mind had not been strong enough to deal with her new duties at their onset and she had learned to fear sleep quite quickly; the screams of the criminals she had been set to execute following her into the depths of her mind.

Gradually, through the power of the Force and Astra’s training, she had learned how to block the things that did not serve her.It meant goodbye to the ghosts and phantoms that plagued her memories and dreams.Kaznia had believed that such abilities would be able to keep her mind intact and they had.

Until Taris.

Now when she dreamt, she saw silken strands of brunette hair, the color almost red when in direct sunlight.She sees pale skin and strong steady hands; purposeful, sliding whetting stones over gleaming blue silver.There are brown eyes, sullen like muddied water that sometimes seem to lighten and are almost green.

Kaznia cannot block these visions; employing her abilities does nothing to deter this woman from coming to her when her mind is at its most vulnerable.When she sleeps, her mind is held captive by a third party, and she’s forced to watch this stranger’s boring life from the sidelines.

She never understands what’s being said; can only vaguely make sense of what’s happening in this other world.

She only has one thing that she can hold on to.

A name.

_Alex_.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh Kara... sweet, sweet Kara. What a jelly belly.
> 
> And Alex falling over herself at a look from her new crush? We're all in agreement she's crushing right? I mean Winn's got a boyfriend and she's still going green around the gills.
> 
> Meanwhile Kara's just scenting the crap out of her with no regard to propriety. Goofballs.
> 
> No worries, Alex's obliviousness won't last forever. She's gonna analyze the crap out of what she's feeling soon, it's just she's in mission mode. Also, first time being attracted to someone so it's gonna take her a minute. I mean, in canon, Maggie had to tell *Alex* that Alex liked her.
> 
> Good times.
> 
> Speaking of Winn... all will be revealed in due time but yeah he totally has a mini apartment on this planet. Or his dad does. He want to go get the key but then found a pretty lavish set up and spruced up too. He was totally going to offer the place up to them but then Kara went and accepted a Pazaak game and DOES KARA EVEN KNOW HOW TO GAMBLE?
> 
> Then Kaznia.
> 
> So precedence: in SW, particularly the newest trilogy, there is a bond that can be created between two force users when blah blah blah. This isn't exactly like that but there is now a bond. It gives nothing away to confirm that this bond is with Kara and that no, Kara does not know of it's existence. And, no Kaznia does not know it's Kara. Or even the people she's looking for.
> 
> Now, for my real muse: The Witches of Elieannan. I read that series WAY back. Like WAY back and there were twin sisters, separated at birth, who shared a bond. They could see what the other saw, experience what the other experienced. If one broke and arm, the other one could feel it etc. It got kind weird when one of them was hooking up with their menfolk. BUT that's kind of where I'm going with this. I wanted to implement this kind of bond and Star Wars _kind_ of supports it so I'm going full steam ahead. Fight me.
> 
> AND... That's it?
> 
> We got some Grey's Anatomy references: Alexandra Caroline Grey- Carol Grey. And Izzie and George (cue snicker like laughter).
> 
> General Lane is still an ass and Lucy, not an ass, still had him as a dad so her sassiness towards Winn and Kara isn't gonna go away any time soon. Sorry.
> 
> And one more little bone... When Lucy cut Kara off, she was going to say 'polygamy'. Tis all.
> 
> Ok, now that's it. Questions, concerns, comments?


	11. Ch 9: Playing the Long Game

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Winn has some explaining to do and Alex wrestles with her feelings. But not her _feelings_. She doesn't get those.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I have lost literally every pazaak game in history. I don't understand it at all and I've given up trying. If you need more info on it you'll have to search it up. #failedtourguide

Shocked as she may have been initially, after a little over ten minutes, Alex finds herself nothing but bored.

Pazaak had never been her cup of tea as, despite her love of logic, Alex hated math with a passion.

It would appear that the Pantoran did not.If the way she was playing was any indication, it would seem she was actually very good at math.

It would also appear that Kara sucked at it.

The Kryptonian was losing.Splendidly.

It was getting kind of painful to watch, and so Alex had turned her attention to more important matters.

“Because I don’t just leave it on my desk Alex!I put together fail safes.Just in case I needed to get to it and didn’t want to.”

“You realize that makes no sense whatsoever.”

Winn, blessed friend that he was, at least still had his eyes on the table.“Think about it.If you had something that you knew was so powerful that you shouldn’t use it on just anything but you really really wanted to wipe b00bl0v3r69 out of the galaxy, would you just leave it around where you could find it?”

Squinting, Alex stares at Winn’s side profile.He’s got his head resting in his palm, slouched over as he watches the gameplay with more than a little disinterest. Alex also notices that he has changed out of his previous clothes and has a brand new pack strapped across his chest.

Also, his hair is wet.

The tweeb had probably taken advantage of the luxury bathrooms they had here, which makes Alex question if he has an actual _apartment_ here.

Not that she cares if he does have his own space, it just seems a bit rude of him to not only drop them in a cantina but also to dally around getting spruced up.

Also, what in the world was he talking about?

“What are you _saying_?”

“Dude!”Winn huffs and finally turns to look at her, eyes wide with exasperation.“I don’t have the best self-control when it comes to tech and this chip could literally power a supercomputer capable of at least a quadrillion calculations per second all on its own.”

“That’s not a thing.”

“Correction: it wasn’t a thing.At least not until Krypton got all blowed up and their tech got leaked.”Her face must belay her confusion because Winn sighs and scrubs a hand over his face.Lowering his voice, he leans in closer so no one can overhear them.“Everyone thinks Krypton was destroyed by their own hand but look at Kara.Does she look like the kind of person to just sit around and do nothing?”

Alex looks, a quick glance reminding her of the extreme focus on the blonde’s face.Until a few moments ago, Alex had believed that Kara would at least allow small infractions but now… the Pantoran had been encroaching on their time, seemingly wanting them to leave if they didn’t follow her whims and Kara, unnecessarily, had risen to the occasion.

If even half of Krypton was like her…

Unfortunately, that isn’t Alex’s concern or quarrel.

If—strong If—Winn was right and a supercomputer of that strength existed, then they were in even worse shape than before.She might not be a computer genius, but she knew enough to know that a chip of that magnitude needed a housing and _parts_ that were it’s equal.Winn’s laptop may be impressive, but she doubts its up for the task.

“I don’t need a history lesson.I need you to tell me where this chip is so we can end this and make sure Krypton doesn’t happen again.We have your stupid “key” now where do we go next and is the rest of the computer there as well?”

“That’s the thing…”

“What’s “the thing”?”

“We need to meet up with my security specialist.”

Alex isn’t seeing the problem.“Ok… who’s that?”

“I’m… not sure…”

“You’re not sure?”Alex can feel the beginnings of a headache and leans back in her chair.“Winn,” she tries patiently, scratching her cheek when her fingers fidget.“I know about ten different ways to kill you with just my index finger.”

Winn opens his mouth to respond, and Alex has a feeling she’s going to have to punch him, but the Pantoran interrupts, her voice slipping in like silk.

“Your friends are very loud.I believe they think they are being sneaky.”

Kara, the obvious recipient of the conversation, doesn’t even look up from her cards to mutter her reply.

“They’re humans; I don’t believe they have a very good measure of their volume.”

“But you believe you have a good measure of their hearts.”The Pantoran smirks, her grin sly as she lays down her next hand.

It’s a winning hand if Kara’s frown is anything to go by.

“They’re my friends of course I do.”She lays down her own hand and the Pantoran frowns.

She recollects herself fairly quickly but there’s something about her eyes that makes Alex focus on the women rather than the imbecile to her left.

“I know what’s in _your_ heart.”The Pantoran remarks offhandedly, setting down her next hand and watching as Kara wins that as well. “I know that you believe yourself capable of winning.”

Kara wins the next hand too and does it so casually that Alex has to look at her face.There’s not a trace of her trademark smile but she doesn’t look quite so… frustrated anymore.

Annoyed for certain, but not exactly angry.

Kara wins another hand and if Alex has calculated that correctly, the game is at a set point.Whoever wins the next hand wins it all.

The Pantoran looks a lot more tense then she had before.

“Anyone can win with careful planning.”Kara says, contemplating her cards with a careful eye and swapping them around until she’s satisfied with her pairings.“But you, well you just charged in with all the confidence of a Rankor.You assumed you were better than me; and smarter; and more experienced.And maybe that would make you the champion in other circumstances but not this one.I don’t mind learning my opponent.I _like_ playing the long game.”

She apparently likes the theatrics too if the way she folds out her next—clearly winning—hand is any indication.There’s a small smirk dancing around the corners of Kara’s mouth now and her blue eyes are practically _glowing_ with satisfaction.

It’s… not a bad look.

“I see.”For her part, while she may be pouty, the Pantoran actually looks just as satisfied.“Well, I suppose to the victor goes the spoils.”

Kara bares her teeth, halfway to her feet and on her way to presumably wipe the insufferable look off the Pantoran’s face, when Alex decides to cut in.

As cool as it is to see Kara fight, this one is unnecessary.And there’s also the small fact that fighting is _not_ allowed here, and they still need to find Winn’s stupid security specialist.

“Kara,” she squeezes the bicep in her grip, waiting until the Kryptonian looks at her before turning to the Pantoran.“We’ve met your conditions and, as you can see, we’re very busy so if you would please?”

She gestures back towards the main floor, now crowded with bodies, in an attempt to get the woman to leave.

She doesn’t.

“You didn’t meet _my_ conditions, you met _his._ And might I just say Mr. Schott, your father would be _very_ disappointed in you.”

~*~

“So, this isn’t your chip?”

“It is!I just… didn’t make it by myself.”

“So, who helped you?”

“My dad?”

“So, it’s your dad’s chip?”

“It would be if he weren’t in a Republic Prison for being a mass murderer.”Winn mumbles, glaring at the walls they pass.

Next to him, Kara is looking nothing but concerned and hurt.

It’s all very sentimental and tricky and Alex now understands why Winn has no idea how to actually get this stupid chip.

His dad had hidden it.

Not him.

Now they’re stuck following the Pantoran, who Alex has finally learned is called Mera, to some secret lair.Alex had taken the time to study the woman and, now that she’s actually paying attention, notices that she’s a bit different than most of her species.Most Pantorans had blue skin and black hair, the bodily characteristics the only real things that set them apart from humans.Mera’s skin tone, however, was more purple/normal? And she had a pinkish hue to her hair that leant an overall reddish blue color to the whole thing.A color Alex wouldn’t have even known existed if she hadn’t seen it with her own eyes.

Conclusively, Alex believes her to be a halfbreed.One of her parents were probably human which could at least mean she wasn’t elitist.Elitists tended to side with the Legion.Half-breeds and castaways were more the rebellions cup of tea.

The thought allows Alex to relax marginally.

Lucy’s already confirmed that her GPS is still working, and Alex has enough hidden weaponry to feel marginally ok about this turn of events.

That doesn’t mean that she has to like the withholding of information.

From the look on Kara’s face, Alex can guess that she doesn’t either.When Alex had finally left her introspection and pulled her attention away from Mera, Kara had been looking at her.And she’d looked so betrayed that Alex had almost tripped again.

But then Kara’s focus is back on Winn and she’s returning to that conversation and Alex realizes the look hadn’t been about her at all.

Stupid Winn.

“Did you really think I would care about that?After everything you know about _me_?”Kara whispers, looking and sounding hurt enough that _Alex_ feels bad for Winn _._ She’d hate to be on the receiving end of that tone.

“No!I just—” Winn pauses, and Alex assumes he peeks around at their company, Alex included, because he lowers his voice even further.Unfortunately for the duo, neither one of them can whisper very well.“Can we talk about this later?During our um… alone time?”

Gross.

Alex has no desire to think about Kara and Winn having _alone time._ Just the thought gives her an uncomfortable feeling in the pit of her stomach.It actually makes her kind of angry.From what she’s seen so far, Kara and Winn are just friends.But she hadn’t ever asked them if they were just friends.

Which means they _could_ be more.

Never mind that Winn has mentioned a boyfriend multiple times, Alex is well aware that all things considered, that doesn’t necessarily rule out a girlfriend.Some people played both sides.Some people played all the sides.And as friendly as Kara seemed to be, it was entirely possible that she would be willing to play a few sides at a time.

Which is none of Alex’s business if Kara is the glue between Winn and this ‘James’ fellow, but well… Alex kind of thinks Kara would be better suited for a monogamous relationship is all.That she should be with someone who will pour all of their love into her.Not her and another guy.

And not when one of those guys is Winn.

And it’s not like even _that_ matters per se, but Kara… it’s just weird imagining her with Winn.Alex can’t say she really sees them as compatible.Not that she’s a relationship expert or anything.

She’s had a handful of flings that have amounted to a whole lot of nothing.It was extremely difficult to maintain a relationship when you’re never on a planet for longer than a handful of days.And, unfortunately, Alex had discovered that her body didn’t really respond to anyone.

It's not like she hadn’t tried, it was just… where Lucy could connect with a literal rock and make it fall in love with her, Alex could barely muster up the energy to make _herself_ interested.The idea of making a guy interested just drained all of the energy out of her.

Plus, there was the small undeniable fact that, aside from her body, Alex just wasn’t that interesting to men.

Sure guys said they liked strong women, but they really didn’t.They liked a girl who they could brag about to their friends; someone they could show off and Alex was the furthest thing from a show pony.Needless to say, most of her relationships had been very sex-oriented.

And even _that_ had made Alex uncomfortable.Sex was _fine_ but unless she was the one in control, she found it gross.A big sweaty body hovering over her?No thanks.

Maggie, cursed friend and resident relationship expert that she was, had suggested that it was all because Alex hadn’t had an emotional tie to anyone.According to her, some people needed to _feel_ something for their partner outside of physical attraction.

Alex hadn’t experienced these unicorn emotions as of yet.

She was starting to believe they didn’t exist.

And if they did exist, it seemed like Kara and Winn would be the perfect recipients of such feelings.

And if they _didn’t_ exist… well it made sense why Kara wasn’t with Winn then since she seemed to be _so_ concerned about him.

Although… Winn _had_ said that Kara thought _Alex_ was hot, so… there was a chance she was gay.

Of course, thinking someone of the opposite gender was attractive didn’t have to automatically mean that you were gay… or bisexual… or pansexual… or—well it didn’t have to mean anything was the point.

Alex has seen plenty of attractive women and she hadn’t wanted to take any of them to bed.God, she’s giving herself a headache over _nothing_.This was _not_ the time to be distracted!She needed to focus!

Luckily, Mera slows to a stop and Alex’s team joins her.Or well, Alex does.The discombobulated twins trip over each other and just barely remain standing.

Alex feels her lips twitch but the almost smile disappears when Kara looks over her shoulder at her.

Those are very very long eyelashes.

“We’re here.”Mera says, gesturing towards the door behind her.“When we go in, please remember that you are guests.You will come to no harm here as long as you do harm to no one.”

The words accomplish the essential job of distracting Alex from her distraction.Whatever was going on in her head about Kara, she needed it to chill the fuck out.

Mera opens the door and Alex fights to keep her composure as Kara’s jaw drops and she lets out a soft “woah”.

Starting now.

Forcing her gaze away from Kara, Alex stares straight ahead.

She was going to chill out _right now._

Forcing her mind back to more important matters, Alex begins to catalogue their surroundings.There appears to be only one entryway in this whole corridor which means this could be a one way in one way out scenario.Mera pushes the door open and Alex taps at her watch, sending Lucy there exact coordinates and putting the Hawk into sentry mode.If anything happens down here, Lucy will meet them on the planet’s surface.If they can hold their breath that long.

Alex hopes they can.

She really hopes that Winn hasn’t pushed them into some sort of trap.

The Sith are, after all, still out there and still hungry for all of their heads.The fact that they haven’t caught up to them by now is a happy coincidence in Alex’s book.Lucy would claim skill but Alex isn’t so disillusioned.They need to be ready.

_She_ needs to be ready.

~*~

_There’s a soft chant all around her, but Kas doesn’t listen; tries to force the sound out.Curled into a ball on the floor, her body tells her that this isn’t normal.There had been someone here before.Someone who had held her.It feels weird to lay here all alone._

_Kas doesn’t remember ever being alone._

_She is now._

_Her body shivers, vibrating with the voices.Kas can’t see who’s speaking, it’s too dark in this cave to see much of anything, but she knows they’re there.Knows that they’re close.And somehow, the longer the voices speak, the more her head aches.The more she wants to run._

_Her heart is yelling at her to run._

_A voice…_

_There’s another voice in her head and she tries desperately to hold on to it.All of her focus goes into listening to that voice; in trying to understand what it’s trying to tell her.But the harder she listens for it, the fainter it seems to get.It’s like she’s chasing after a ghost._

_Is that what she is?_

_Had she died?_

_She remembers there had been a fight… right?_

_She’d been trying to protect someone…_

_She hadn’t been alone._

_The voice in her head seems to get louder, briefly, a last defiant yell into the void._

**_Kaaaaaass_**!

_Kas_.

_That’s her name._

_She’s sure that that’s her name._

_Right?_

_There’s no answer.Her head has gone silent._

_The chanting switches to a monotone hum that sets her limbs quaking.She gasps._

_Her eyes shoot open and all she can see is darkness._

_There’s nothing there._

_She doesn’t know where she is._

_She doesn’t know **who** she is._

~*~

“You’ve been distracted.”Astra says when she enters Kaznia’s quarters.“Your men are starting to notice.”

Sitting on her bunk, Kaznia doesn’t remove her attention from the diagrams in front of her.She’d utilized the Legion’s extensive network of spies and allies to locate the YT-1300 model ship that had gotten through her blockade on Taris.Her mounting frustration, and subsequent bothersome feelings towards Astra’s announcement, all stem from the seeming futility of the work.

As vast as her Master’s reign has become, there has still been no reliable information that would lead to the capture of the insurgents.

Of course she was distracted.

The Legion’s resources were proving useless!

And now Astra wanted to gloat about it?As if the opinions of anyone on this ship would sway the Cisar from his favor of Kaznia.

Ridiculous.

“I am busy.”She says instead, using her thumb and forefinger to zoom in on an image that had been sent to her in the Hutt sector.

“Training and plotting.”Astra agrees.“And dreaming.”

Of course Astra knew about her dreams.Kaznia doesn’t even take the necessary time to be shocked.

“How?”

“I know a great deal more about you then you think.”Glancing at Kaznia’s diagrams, Astra huffs and swipes it all away.“It’s useless; none of those are them.”

“And you know where they are now?”

“I know what they want and that’s even more important.Remember your training young one.”

Her training… was hot.

And long.

Annoying.

Kaznia stands and meets her elders gaze head on.“What are the last known strong holds of the Jedi?”

“I have mapped several courses.We can root out each one until we find them.”

Kaznia nods.“Do it.”

Of course, although Astra bows her head in acknowledgement, she doesn’t move and Kaznia fights the urge to roll her eyes.“Was there something else?”

“Just one thing My Lord; your pet.It requires socialization.Perhaps you should talk to it.”

And, with a sharp turn on her heel, Astra takes her leave, Kaznia trying not to look too flabbergasted in her wake.

“About _what_?”

“You are a big girl My Lord.I am sure you will figure it out.”

~*~

There aren’t any walls in the room Mera has taken them to.Just coral colored floors and a never ending view of the ocean floor.If Alex had thought the entrance to Fodu was cool, it was only because she hadn’t yet seen this marvel.

For as far as she could see was water, on all sides.As if the very floor they were standing on was the only solid thing in this wide open space.

On a whim Alex glances at Kara and has to bite back a smile when, as expected, she sees a look of utter wonder on the Kryptonian’s face.Mouth open and eyes wide, Kara spins in a slow circle as she takes everything in, Winn bustling along beside her with a much more subdued appreciation.

It's mostly by Winn’s careful guidance that Kara doesn’t bump into anyone on her way to the throne—because yes there was a throne and a room full of what appeared to be oddly dresses aristocrats—but Alex keeps a careful eye nonetheless.This was still Fodu and they still couldn’t afford an altercation of any kind.Having Kara accidentally tackle someone to the ground would definitely be an act Alex would never be able to live down.

Mera walks at a much brisker pace, unmoved by anything around her as she makes her way to the throne and the man sitting there.They converse quietly for several minutes before the man stands.

Ah.

Tall man.

Muscly man.

Very very big man.

And, judging by the crown on his head, the king of these people.

_Great._

The king walks towards them, steps heavy as he makes his way down from the raised thrown.He’s not quite pale, his skin having more of an aqua tint with tattoos that resemble… scales?Alex isn’t sure, but she knows that his whole demeanor, long shaggy hair and beard included, screams power.

This isn’t someone she wants to fight; whatever Winn’s plan is she really hopes he knows what he’s doing.Mentally, she starts weighing the pros and cons of who would be the better save.Kara can take care of herself and Winn clearly can’t.

But J’onn had told her to protect Kara.

The council had been much more interested in Winn.

Winn could win them the war.

Her hands curl into fists at her side, her time for decisions dwindling as the King finally comes to stop in front of them.

Great.

Cool blue eyes, light like a summer sky and not at all as warm as Kara’s, regard them nonchalantly. Brushing them off one by one as if they are mere pests in his great presence.

“Them?”The king rumbles, a deep husky voice resounding around the now hushed throne room.

“Them.”Mera confirms, sidling up next to them with a mischievous smirk.“I was quite distraught to have lost such a fine hand.”

When she lays a hand on the King’s arm, Alex’s instincts kick into overdrive.Everything she’s seeing is telling her that they’ve been played; that this is a setup.But her gut tells her to wait.

To be patient.

Which is why when Kara growls and takes a rather aggressive step forward, Alex stops her, her own hand wrapping around Kara’s forearm.

The king sees it all, eyeing Alex’s hand and then Kara herself before grunting dismissively.

“Um…” Winn tries, glancing anxiously between all of them.“We come in peace?”

“Hah!”The King breaks out into a wide grin, slinging one arm over Mera’s shoulders and holding a hand up to Winn for a high five.“Of course you did Dude!Bring it in!”

Looking like he’s not quite sure if this is a trap, Winn cautiously—and rather gently—slaps his palm against the much larger one of the King’s.

“This is Arthur,” Mera introduces fondly, looking nearly giddy when Arthur raises a hand to Kara and she grudgingly, and excitedly, gives him a high five.“The King of our people.He was the one your father entrusted with the safety of his technology.”

Arthur turns to Alex next, but she has already purposefully folded her hands behind her back.“No thanks.”

He grins, apparently unconcerned with her snub, and turns back to Winn.“Bad dude your dad.He was into some real emo shit, ya know?”

“Um yeah.”Winn agrees.“I get that a lot.”

“But he did help me out of a pretty sticky situation with some Imps.Nasty little fellows.I still have their heads up outside my bedroom window as a reminder.”

“Of what?” Kara asks, brow furrowing and lip curling as she takes a step backwards.

“That there are nasty little fellows out there of course.Can never be too careful.”Arthur shoots Alex a grin, “she knows what I mean.” 

Unfortunately, she does.

“Right.”Winn mutters, rubbing a hand over the creased skin on his forehead.“Um, my dad’s chip.Can you like… give it to us?”

“No can do Comrade.Like I said, your dad was seriously fucked up.Like a nerve burner for sure.”

“Yes, you said.”

“Deranged.”

“Dude!”

“Sorry just… real nut job.He just asked me for a place to leave it.I can tell you how to get there but I gotta tell you… with as twisted as that guy’s head was… you’re bound to run into some security.”

“Like… a rancor?”

Arthur, for once, looks wholly unimpressed.“How would a rancor get under the ocean?Use your head man.”

“Your majesty,” Alex interrupts, speaking over Winn’s bumbling excuses.“Whatever aid you can give us would be greatly appreciated.”

“By who?”

Alex feels her jaw tense and rolls her shoulders.Lucy’s thing was diplomacy.Not hers.“Us.”

“And who are you exactly?”Arthur points at Winn, walking in a slow circle around the trio.“I know this one is the kid but who are you two?”He points at Kara and squints.“The other one is too grumpy, so you must be the girlfriend and—”

“NO!”The denial comes from both Winn and Kara, the pair trading disgusted looks and taking a step away from each other as if the newly created distance would prevent such a travesty from ever occurring.

“I am _not_ dating Winn!He’s like my brother!”

Winn balks.“Like?”

“ _IS._ Is my brother.”Kara stretches her arm across the distance, the rest of her body still bending awkwardly away from Winn, and pats his shoulder.“Best brother ever.”

“Damn straight.”

Alex sighs and tries to rub away her mounting headache.“What exactly do you want to negotiate your majesty?What can we trade for these parts?”

“You can tell me why you want it.I have people to protect and I can’t chance you three being as wonky as his,” he points an accusing finger at Winn, “old man.”

“I am _nothing_ like my father!”

“Cute act.Doesn’t cut it.”

“We’re not here to hurt you.”Kara asserts, stepping slightly in front of Winn.“Or anyone.Our mission is to end the war and—”

The laugh Arthur releases is long and loud, one hand slapping against his belly noisily.“End the war?That’s even better than my old man theory.”

Brow pinching in confusion, Kara shuffles awkwardly.“What’s so funny about that?”

“That three kids want to end a decades long war.All by demselwves.Awww.”He does the weepy eye motion and everything, her fists curling up as he flicks away an invisible tear.“It’s a cute gag I’ll give you that.”

“It’s not a gag.”Kara says, pressing the words out between thinned lips.

“What are you Rebels?That’s coo I guess.”He shakes his head and turns back to Mera.“Didn’t I tell you the Rebels were assholes for recruiting kids.I mean look at them—that one’s clearly a teenager.”

“I’m forty-seven.”Kara grits out.“I am not a child.”

“Right, well I can’t help you adult woman.”He shoots Kara some finger guns and a roguish smirk.“Whatever Dr. Crazypants stuffed down there is bad news and I can’t have it in the hands of a bunch of kids on a suicide mission.”

“But it’s _mine_!”Winn waves his key around, stepping up next to Kara.“I have the _key._ You have to let me down there.”

“I don’t have to do anything.I’m king.”

“You’re a jerk.”Kara growls.

“And you’re a Rebel.With absolutely no pot to piss in.What do you think is gonna win you this war?Fairytales?Love?Hope?”

It’s the way Kara’s lip quivers that finally makes Alex speak up.She’d watched the rather brutal teardown dispassionately, wondering how Kara and Winn thought that they were going to get anywhere when they couldn’t even convince people to come to their side.

They’d had the same issue with the Council.

And Lucy.

And Maggie.

This whole “end the war for the sake of ending the war” schtick was counterproductive; no one trusted anyone that _good._ Even though Kara genuinely _was_ that good.

Winn was up for debate.

So Alex sighs internally, rolls back her shoulders and comes to stand on Kara’s other side, meeting Arthur’s stare with one of her own.Lucy generally hardened here.No room for backing down.

“Rebellions,” she says, testing the words in her mouth and feeling the way Kara’s eyes drop to her.“Are built on hope.”Arthur laughs again but Alex presses forward anyway.“When the Outer Rim called for help; no one answered.When Krypton sent out their distress calls; no one answered.When Taris was blockaded in by the Sith Armada; no one answered.”

“Your point?”Arthur huffs.

“No one ever does anything until it’s too late.None of us were alive when the war started so we couldn’t have stopped it from happening but now we’re trying to clean up the mess; the mess that _your_ generation allowed to continue, and you’re laughing at us.Somehow I think that makes _you_ the idiot.”

Arthur sneers, lips pulling back over his teeth—and man were they white—his chest nearly touching Alex’s own as he steps into her personal space.Next to her, Kara’s hand twitches and Alex quickly closes her own around it.

Wait.

Wait.

Wait.

Wait.

Wa—

Its Mera who laughs this time, one hand rising to her cover her mouth daintily as she pushes Arthur away.

“I _knew_ I liked you.”

Kara growls and Alex feels the vibration in her fingers.“Back off.”

“Be careful,” Arthur warns, still glaring at Alex but clearly speaking to Kara, “of the way you address my Queen.”

Alex takes in the purple skinned woman, the attractive waist, well-muscled limbs, and pretty face.

Yeah.

That tracks. 

A warrior Queen for a hot headed King.

Squeezing Kara’s hand in warning, Alex speaks again.“For years your people have hidden on Fodu, safe from the effects of the war and I get it.You want to keep what’s yours safe but there are people out there who are dying.People who are being forced into lives that they don’t want.We’re asking you to help us end that and you’re standing there, with a crown on your head, telling us no.”

Mera waves a hand and a tall soldier in sea green armor steps away from the onlookers and presents her with a map.

“Forgive my husband; he sometimes needs a push in the right direction.”She smirks at Kara.“I shall help you brave Rebels.”

Kara may or may not have mumbled, “I’m not a rebel.”Alex isn’t one hundred percent sure but from the sour expression on Kara’s face, she’s gonna go with yeah.

She has to fight the way her lips tick.

“There are two parts that you will need to acquire;” Arthur grumbles reluctantly, his meaty fingers pointing at the map that the soldier is holding up. “It’s a two-point system of authentication.One team will go through the tunnels and the other will go through the sea.”He gestures at either route and Alex frowns.Looks like they would be splitting up. 

One of the entrances was above ground with a floor panel, the other was a door leading out into an underwater entrance.Alex was going to assume that the entrance had a vacuum sealed holding room that would drain of water when the team docked inside.

“If one team doesn’t disengage the locks at the same time as the other team, the vault won’t open, and you’ll be back at square one.” Arthur looks up at Winn and waves a hand at his map. “Once inside you’ll have to bypass your father’s security protocols.That part will be up to you.”

Winn nods and reaches forward for the paper.“Thank you, sir, but I can handle my father.”

“My wife will accompany you.You two,” Arthur points at Kara and Winn, “can take the boat.Mera can lead your grumpy teammate to the other entrance, and you will meet in the middle.”

Winn nods, but Alex sees the frown pull at Kara’s mouth.She sees it and she doesn’t quite like it.

“I’m sorry sir.”Alex interjects, speaking up again and causing every eye in the room to turn to her.“I only work with my team.Mera can accompany Winn through the tunnels, I will pilot the boat to the underground entrance.”

Arthur shrugs, unbothered.“Very well.Here are your instructions.”

He goes on some more, but Alex can only half listen.It shouldn’t affect her effectiveness in the long run, her brain is well used to plucking out relevant information while her mind is otherwise occupied.

And right now, she’s trying very hard to convince herself that she had broken up the Winn/Kara team because it was in Kara’s best interests.Afterall, Alex was meant to protect her and, if she were with Mera, she wouldn’t be able to do that.

The fact that she doesn’t really want Winn alone with Kara has absolutely nothing to do with it.

“Good luck.”Arthur shakes their hands, the meeting obviously over, and Mera spins to lead the small group out of the room.

“We can stock up on supplies here.”Mera says to Alex, falling back to match her step.Or at least she tried to.Kara had somehow positioned herself beside Alex before Mera could and wound up tripping the other woman.Thankfully, the move only garners a smirk from the Pantoran.“Take what you need; our security package is all inclusive.”

Winn squeals when the room is revealed, and immediately rushes over to what looks like a jetpack.

“Thank you,” Alex nods gratefully, Mera returning the gesture before following Winn into the room. She slaps his hands away from a can, but Alex doesn’t pay attention as to why.Instead, she reaches out a hand and snags the back of Kara’s shirt to stop her forward momentum.

Or at least she _tries_ to.

She is promptly dragged another foot before Kara glances over her shoulder, brows furrowed in confusion.

Kara stops, blinking at Alex in surprise before a lightbulb seemingly goes off in her head.

“Oh!Right!”She gasps dramatically, stumbling back into the wall with all the grace of a bantha.“Gah!”

Alex fights very hard not to smile at the theatrics.It’s getting harder and harder not to the longer she spends time with Kara.

But right now, they need to focus on what is going on with Kara.She’d been acting weird ever since Mera had shown up and if this task really did require teamwork between all parties, Alex needed to make sure whatever stick was up Kara’s butt wouldn’t hurt them all.

“What’s the deal with you and Mera?”

The look Kara gives her screams confusion, complete with furrowed brow and lips that quirk to the side.Still, Alex waits, certain that Kara just needs time to get herself together.Hopefully not too much though because Alex would really like to get back to her ship soon.

Thankfully, in the next few moments, Kara’s eyes widen and a light dusting of pink coats her cheekbones. 

“Nothing!I'm not- I mean we're not- You do _not_ have to be jealous.”

Jealous?

When had jealousy come into play?And _why_?

Puzzled, Alex narrows her eyes, Kara’s fidgeting doing absolutely nothing to clarify where this line of questioning had taken a left turn.

“ _Why_ would I be jealous?”

“…I… don't know?”

Snorting, Alex shakes her head and lowers her voice.She waves a hand towards the room where Mera is showing Winn a hopefully harmless taser baton.

“Why are you having a pissing contest with her and _what_ are you having a pissing contest over?”

“…um… because she's annoying?”

And Kara looks so genuinely perplexed that Alex can’t help the slight uptick in her lips.Being annoyed by someone’s character is hardly a reason to challenge them on every single thing.However, Alex has lived with Lucy long enough to know that just because something’s unreasonable doesn’t mean it will dissuade anyone.

“You're the worst you know that?”

Kara fidgets, shuffling her feet and looking at Alex from beneath those long eyelashes.“Am I in trouble?”

She’s adorable.

“No.”Alex sighs, shaking her head fondly and gently grasping Kara’s bicep.She leads them into the room and towards the comms section.“Let's go dunderhead.”

~*~

Alex isn’t one for tight clothing; she prefers loose pants and shirts that grant her the luxury of movement.

The wetsuit she’s wearing does absolutely the opposite, and she feels like she’s walking around in the world’s largest rubber sock.

Or condom.

It kind of feels like what she imagines a tight condom would feel like.

In a nutshell it’s uncomfortable and it’s kind of riding up in the crotch.But Kara keeps rushing over to help her adjust it whenever she looks even moderately uncomfortable, so it’s not all bad.

The fussing is kind of annoying but, now that it’s just the two of them in the boat, she also finds it kind of nice.

Alex sighs and gently maneuvers the rig, a small two seater that barely allows for room to stand, deeper into the water, eyes tracking the sonar for any obstacles she can’t see. Whatever is happening with her is confusing and she really wants it to stop.

If she could just get a few moments where she doesn’t have to keep them all alive to _think_ than maybe she could puzzle through the worst of it.

Unfortunately, she’s got a super hyper alien in the seat next to her who is adamant on talking her ear off.

“So, what do you like… do for fun?”

“I clean my guns.”

Kara is twisted in her seat next to Alex, legs tucked under her chin as she takes in Alex’s profile.From her peripherals, Alex watches the blonde pout, the adorable furrow appearing between her brows marking her bafflement.

“That’s it?”

“And my knives.” Alex allows.

“Right…”Kara’s eyes narrow for a moment before they brighten again.“I like to sing.And dance.I really like to dance.Winn says that once we end the war there will be enough parties to go dancing for _months._ ”

“I don’t doubt it.”

“Yeah.I kind of think I should get all of my dancing out before then though you know?”

Alex doesn’t and it’s enough of an oddity that her head twists of its own accord to spare Kara a glance.

“Why would you say that?”She questions, “the war ending is cause for celebration.Having fun before that seems… irresponsible.”

Kara shrugs, “Yeah but… I’m _here_ now.I’d like to enjoy being here… while I have the chance.”There’s a tense moment of silence, her words filtering into Alex’s mind slowly but flaming her anger all the same.

Kara laughs, a tense and broken mockery of her normal jubilance.“That was a mood killer huh?Sorry I—let’s just forget that happened.What’s your favorite food?”

“I don’t have a favorite food.”

Alex doesn’t like the topic change but she’s also aware that Kara isn’t wrong.Protector she may be, but Alex isn’t bulletproof.She’s human and fallible and getting Kara to the Sith is going to be the single greatest challenge of her life. _Alex_ might not make it.And, if she falls, who will be left to keep Kara out of danger?

“Everyone has a favorite food?”Kara insists, “do you like peaches?”

“No.”

There’s a shadow to Alex’s left and she quickly cuts the engines, letting them drift down into the inky depths as the creature takes shape.

Kara leans forward in her seat, her breath fogging the glass as her eyes, blue and wide, taken in the tubular being.

In a wetsuit, Kara looks much different than Alex, her form a molded sculpture of any male’s dream.She’s fit but not skinny, built more on a solid mass than on bone and it shows in her hips and thighs.Alex quite likes the way the suit fits her and part of the reason she had tried to keep herself distracted by piloting the ship, was so that she didn’t make Kara uncomfortable by staring.

Now Kara’s distracted by the Sea Worm overhead and Alex… can’t stop staring at her.

“ _Down girl_.”

Lucy’s voice, slightly distorted from this distance and depth, still manages to sound through the comm unit in Alex’s ear just fine.The teasing quality and the fact that Lucy can’t even _see_ them has Alex gritting her teeth and tightening her hands on the controls.

Lucy laughs and it’s all Alex can do to not mentally murder her partner.When she gets back to the Ebon Hawk, she’s going to burn Lucy’s chess set.

See what she does then.

“What is it?”Kara finally questions, eyes still wide with wonder.

Alex refocuses on the creature and shrugs.“A Sea Worm.They’re mostly harmless but they don’t really like noise.I can restart the ship when she’s out of range.”

“How do you know it’s a “she”?”

Just barely managing not to rise to the bait, Alex gives Kara an unimpressed look when the blonde finally tears her gaze away to smirk at her.

Dammit even that was adorable.

The worm leaves and Alex restarts the engines, steering them ever deeper and closer to their goal.

“I like donuts.”She admits quietly when Kara doesn’t resume the conversation.“Eliza… my mother she… she’s a healer by trade and she doesn’t like me having them so that’s kind of a trade secret.”

From the corner of her eye she watches a small smile stretch Kara’s mouth and it takes everything in her not to turn and get a better look.

“I won’t tell, I promise… What about the dancing?Was that a hard no or a buy me dinner first?”

The smile catches Alex before she can stop it and Kara laughs in triumph. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Why do you guys think Kara was acting so weird? Maybe t'will always be a mystery. Alas and alack.
> 
> I really liked writing Kara and Mera and having Alex be completely clueless. The long game indeed.
> 
> Mera's skin is tinged blue and she's got a red wine hair color thing goin on. In case that didn't come through.
> 
> And if anyone has ever played the SW Game The Old Republic: Knights of the Eternal Throne, you'll notice some familiar themes with Kaznia's training. Just think Vaylin. Everyone, just watch the trailer for the game if you want the extra layer. One of the darker SW storylines.
> 
> And, the next chapters pick up in action, fluff, plot. This was the last "slow" chapter and now we're really going to see how Alex and Kara interact. Also more Kaznia and Mikhail. Little guy needs some dialogue! :)


	12. Ch 10: My Friends Say I Should Act My Age

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What awaits us in Toyman's lair? ...Not a lair really but it fit the line.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a serendipitous update because dude; did not know Toyman would be a thing again when I wrote this. Am I magic? I think I'm Magic. First the whole Rise of Skywalker thing and now Toyman. I'm so cool. Or just predictable...
> 
> There is a conversation about child... not abuse... maybe negligence? gross negligence? For sure endangerment but it's basically a glimpse into what happened with Krypton, Kaznia, Winn, and Kara. And geez what is my obsession with 'K's?
> 
> Blink 182- What's my Age Again?

“Welcome to the Ring of Fire!”Kara says, voice deeper and echoing down the creepy red tunnel.

Alex would complain but, for all intents and purposes, it does look like a ring of fire.Having docked the ship as instructed with the water seals doing their job as specified, they had been able to take in their surroundings with relative ease.It was almost too simple how smoothly everything had gone.

Now they found themselves in the narrow outlet of a cave, vast red walls looming around them and bringing out the theatrics in Kara.

The Kryptonian beams when her voice reverberates back and her and looks ready to charge off when Alex places a steady hand on her shoulder.

“Stay here; I’ll scout ahead.”

The look Kara gives her almost makes her smile again.“Um no!No way!This is my mission; I’m not going to let you just go down there and, and, and…”

“Die?”

“Exactly!”

“It sounds like it’s 10 feet at the most.I’ll run ahead, make sure there are no unwelcome surprises, and be back before you know it.”

Kara scowls but doesn’t stop Alex when she hoists her pack onto her shoulder.

“I know it.”Alex hears Kara mutter when she begins to walk away.“You’re not even out of sight and I know it.”

Alex sighs but does not fight the grin, tiny as it may be, that pulls at her mouth.

She’s walked maybe six feet when she feels the ground shift slightly.She takes a quick step back, the sound of stone sliding alerting her that she’s unwittingly tripped some sort of mechanism.Luckily her reflexes had allowed her to evade whatever hole had just opened up below her feet.

…. At least it would have been lucky if something solid slam didn’t slam into her from behind.

“I’ve got you!”Kara assures, arms tight around Alex’s abdomen even as her momentum sends them both backwards a solid foot and into a gaping black chasm.

Kara screams of course.

As she freefalls, Alex thinks, with admittedly a bit more humor than she normally would, that she doesn’t exactly _feel_ gotten. But then her hand is already aimed, having shifted to grab at her pack the second she’d realized what was happening and whipping out a grappling hook.

The cord yanks hard on her wrist and Alex almost loses her grip on Kara.But, thanks to the iron clad grip Kara has on _her_ , one more resembling a spider monkey than an actual saving technique, the Kryptonian remains safe.

And suspended in midair.

“Hold on.”Alex commands, letting go of Kara completely when she feels her squeeze tighter.

Hand over hand, Alex pulls them back to the top, her arms sore and shaking by the time they’re back over the lip of the tunnel.

Kara lays on her back as if she were the one who had done all the work, limbs trembling, and hands pressed to her eyes.

“Afraid of heights?”Alex questions, rewinding her rope and securing her grapple back in her pack.

“The dark.”Kara whispers back, shoulders hunching like she’s fighting the urge to curl into a ball.“And falling.”

Alex hums and glances down the hall, the wall Arthur had described clearly visible in the dim red glow.

“Just for future reference,” she says, pulling Kara to her feet and steering her towards their goal.“We’re going to have to work on the whole you-saving-me thing.I’m not sure it’s your most useful skill.”

Kara nods glumly at first before stopping when she glances up and sees the way Alex’s lips are twitching.

Maintaining her air of nonchalance, Alex continues walking, leaving a bewildered Kara behind her as she carefully keeps an eye out for any more booby-traps.

“Was that a joke?”Kara asks incredulously, jogging to catch up to Alex.“Did you just make a joke?”

One brow lifting imperiously, Alex spares her a small glance.“My humor is world-renowned.”

Kara beams, laughter spilling out fast and exuberant.The blonde’s fear and misery momentarily forgotten; Alex mentally marks this as a job well done.

Afterall, protecting Kara from herself was just as important as protecting her from real dangers.

~*~

The puzzle before them is rather vague.Whatever Winn’s father had been on, he’s clearly not exactly… sane.

“It’s a doll.”Kara states, turning the toy this way and that in her hands.

Alex grunts, back pressed against the wall, head tilted towards the ceiling.They have, after all, been at this for at least thirty minutes and the only clue they had found was this doll, laid neatly in front of the vault door.

“Have you ever had one before?”Kara asks, glancing over her shoulder at Alex.

“What?”

“A doll.”Waving the aforementioned object, Kara rolls her eyes.“Obviously.”

“My mom got one for me when I was little but I didn’t like her.Her eyes freaked me out.”

“Wait… you didn’t have a childhood toy because you got freaked out by the eyes?”

“They wouldn’t stay closed.”And they’d been an obnoxious green color that no real human would actually have.Alex wasn’t about to apologize for a completely rational phobia to possible possessions.“And I didn’t say I didn’t have a toy; when Eliza saw how wigged out I was, she switched the demon out for a bear.Yet another inconvenience.”

Kara’s whole face melts and her mouth breaks into yet another smile.“Awwww, that’s so cute.What’d you name him?”

“Is there a point to this line of questioning?”

“Well,” Kara fingers her chin thoughtfully. “I did learn that your mother is absolutely terrified of losing you and being unable to be a good mom but yet you seem to think that she wants you gone.”

“Choose. Another. Topic.”

Laughing nervously, Kara nods and stares down at the doll in her hands.“It’s just _I_ never had a doll so it’s just Eliza deserves some credit maybe for…”Kara trials off, fidgeting slightly when Alex only continues to glare at her from across the room. “I was just wondering if this one is odd looking is all.”

Alex barely looks at the thing.“Looks like a doll.”

“Right.Of course.”

And then they’re both retreating back into their own introspection.

What Kara had said made Alex’s insides twist.J’onn had told her often that she was misinterpreting her mother, but she’d just thought he was speaking out of his ass.Old people sympathizing with other old people in the never ending battle against the younger generation.

Plus, well… it’s not like Alex had ever blamed her mother.If she’d had to choose, Alex would have picked Jeremiah too.

Not that Kara knows any of that.Kara knows a little about a little and is jumping to conclusions because she thinks they’re friends.

They’re not.

And Alex seriously doesn’t want to think about this right now.

Unfortunately, there’s not much else to do but think.

As much as Alex is all for exploration, the cavern is barely 8 feet around in either direction.It hadn’t taken long to survey every nook and cranny, especially given that she had used the fancy visor that Mera had given her in the vault.

There was nothing here except that doll, the vault, and luminescent red walls.

Still, thinking about the mission is better than thinking about any possible mommy issues Alex may have.Anything is better than that.

With the doll as their only lead, Alex was pretty sure there had to be some sort of significance.Unfortunately she hadn’t lied when she’d told Kara it wasn’t a very special looking doll.Two arm, two legs, a body and a head.It had hair and creepy eyes that didn’t close.

Standard doll.

Of course, that could mean that there was an emotional significance to the clue.Winn’s father had after all, been the one to design this puzzle.How lucky could they be that a clue that only Winn would be able to solve was given to them?

Maybe it had been Winn’s doll as a child.

Alex had seen how fidgety he was; maybe it was like his security blanket or something.

…And honestly, why would Kara hang around a grown man who had a seeming doll fetish.It was just weird.

Alex had definitely done the Kryptonian a favor by not letting her get paired with Winn.Next time, Alex would just have to take one for the team and go with the computer savant instead.

“ _…one died while the other survived.”_ The creepy child’s voice disturbs Alex enough that she is pulled from her thoughts to blink stupidly at the doll in Kara’s hand. _“All of the drinks were poisoned but no one was left with a regret.”_

“Oh look!”Kara says, pointing at the wall near the vault that has somehow gained a big red button with white letters reading “press here”.

Of course, Kara immediately moves to press the button and it is only because Alex had anticipated the move that they probably don’t get blown up.

Or worse.

“Or we could not press the dangerous red button.”Alex recommends, grabbing Kara’s hand and glancing between the wall and the doll.“Lucy did you get what did that thing said?I didn’t hear it.”

“ _You were standing right there.How did you not hear it?”_

Valid question. Of course, Alex can’t answer that she was daydreaming about all of the ways in which Winn was a weirdo and should not be allowed around Kara.Instead she takes the doll from Kara’s hand, trying to replicate the message.

“There was a little string here.”Kara says helpfully, holding up said string in her hand.“But it came off.”

“You tore it?”

“No!It _broke_ off.”

Alex gives her an even look but Kara only continues to look offended.

“Look,” Alex tries, “you’re a super strong alien so—”

“Don’t finish that sentence.”

Alex pauses, seeing that Kara is actually _mad_ and not liking it one bit.Still…

“I’m just saying that we all make mistakes.”

_“Dude,”_ Lucy complains, “ _you have no game.Like none.”_

Jaw clenching, Kara turns to glare at the wall and perfectly recites what the stupid doll had said.

“Two girls eat dinner together.They both ordered iced tea.One girl drank it very fast and had finished five in the time it took the other to drink just one.The girl who drank one died while the other survived.All of the drinks were poisoned but no one was left with a regret.”

“That’s a riddle.”

“Obviously.”Kara mutters, toe kicking at the ground.“Any other great insightful observations you want to make?”

Pausing, Alex considers the question.Normally, she would choose to ignore such a snarky remark but given that _she_ had been the one to upset Kara, however unintentionally, she feels at least partially responsible for fixing this.

Especially because seeing Kara actually upset is making _Alex_ upset.

“Crap,” she scrubs a hand over her face before digging them deep into her pockets. “I feel like a skug… I’m sorry Kara. I just want you to know that I wasn’t trying to extrapolate on any prefabricated impressions that you may have been privy to in your past.”She ducks down a little, peering beneath the curtain of Kara’s hair until their eyes meet.“I personally enjoy your company and I have no prejudices, phobias, or superiority complexes that would make me think you are anything other than a good person.”

Kara huffs but her cheeks turn red, so Alex takes it as a good sign.

“Do you maybe want to try to solve this thing together?”Alex offers, leaning forward a little to nudge Kara with her elbow.

Over the past few weeks they’d spent together, Alex had learned that Kara was a physical person.Alex wasn’t really, she liked her solitude more than anything else but with Kara, she found she didn’t mind it so much.

There was something about the _way_ the blonde touched; the intention behind it.

Like her only purpose in the physical interaction was to reassure and be reassured.It was… warm, is the only descriptor Alex can come up with.

Kara scratches her head, brow scrunched up adorably.“So… two girls drink poison but one miraculously survives… how is that a clue to anything?”

“Well, my guess would be that the big red button you were about to press will dispense a set of cups.”Alex rubs her chin, eyes tracking along the walls surrounding the button.“But—”

Kara presses the button.

Kara presses the button before Alex can tell her _not to press the button._

Her face must show her horror because the next thing she knows, Kara is stealthily backing away from the wall and behind Alex.

“Oops.”

Oops indeed.

One by one several glasses are dropped onto a newly revealed ledge and are just as quickly filled with some sort of amber fluid.A second opening is revealed over every other cup and an orb shaped ice cube is dropped with a dramatic _plop._

That in itself would have been alarming but then, to put the cherry on the supremely fucked cake, the cave starts to shudder.Alex watches, no longer even shocked by the turn of events, as the floor cracks open between them, Kara grabbing at her arms and trying to join her on one side.

And maybe Alex would have allowed it if she hadn’t seen the way the walls leading back to their ship had collapsed and blocked their only available exit.The moment it happens, a familiar cold sensation creeps over her brain and clears her head.Superior autonomic responses.

_I’ve got this._

“What?”Kara yells, befuddled and still trying to get Alex to perceived safety.

Alex shoves her back, pointing quickly at Kara’s side of the glasses, brain working overtime.

“Drink the ones with the ice first!But don’t drink the ice, throw it out!Hurry!”

She doesn’t wait for Kara to respond, simply grabs the drink nearest her with an ice cube and shoots it straight back.It tastes like ass.

“Alex!Stop!Those are poisoned!”

“We’ll die anyway if you don’t drink it!Ice first!”

As if to accentuate the dire situation, the cavern rumbles, stalagmites crashing down around them.One slices through the thin material of Alex’s shirt sleeve.She hisses but continues down her line of drinks.

The room is starting to feel very hot and with the falling debris it’s hard to tell what’s actually happening around her.

But she knows Kara must have listened because when Alex tilts the last glass back, she sees Kara’s finishing up as well.

The vault door groans, haltingly grinding open.Another rock falls and Alex presses herself flat against the wall to avoid it impaling her head.

The vault is on Kara’s side, go figure, and the gap has stretched to at least 3 feet.It’s not a large jump but given the uneven ground and the current earthquake, Alex is going to have to play the odds.

She jumps, visualizes her landing and curses when the spot she had aimed for crumbles away.

Well… there went her life.

Falling, Alex thinks, is very different from landing in that, when she had planned her landing it had been a smooth experience in her head.When Kara catches her wrist, fingers sure and firm around her, Alex hears a pop in her shoulder and feels a jarring pain radiate up the right side of her body.

Fucking hell.

Kara hauls her up, scrabbling backwards towards the vault door and safety.It’s all Alex can do to stumble after her, her uninjured arm raised to block falling debris while Kara continues to pull on her dislocated right arm.

She wants to throw up.

Still, they pass the threshold into what Alex hopes is safety and she instinctively covers Kara’s body with her own, her good hand palming Kara’s head and tucking it into her chest.

Then the vault door slides shut behind them, sealing them in darkness.

~*~

Kaznia breathes deeply, studying the Imperial Commodore before her with unmasked disdain.

Their latest search of the planet Coruscant had yielded absolutely nothing.Not even a stray Jedi to torture for information.And, because of this failure, the Cisar had seen fit to send his pet monkey to babble about his displeasure.A delegation from the nearest Sith Scouting ship consisting of the Commodore, an older repugnant looking man who wore way too much cologne, and his Captain.

The droid security detail behind the balding Commodore, guns primed and ready, are surely meant to be threatening.Kaznia sees them as little else but nuisances.

Surely her Master does not expect her to allow such disrespect?

A dressing down on _her_ bridge?In front of _her_ men?

The absurdity tastes like something rancid on her tongue.

“When the Cisar gives you a command he expects it to be followed.Is that clear Lord Kaznia?”

Hands held loosely at her sides, Kaznia narrows her eyes at Commodore Edge before calmly turning to regard Astra.Her own right hand is even more disciplined than Kaznia is.Where Kaznia has mastered her mask of boredom, Astra looks as though they are discussing something supremely important.

Something she actually gives a damn about.

Fitting.

“Remind me,” Kaznia says when the silence of her awaited answer would have prompted the imbecile to open his mouth again.“Who is the Cisar’s right hand?”

Edge’s face purples in anger, his finger jabbing out towards Kaznia and flapping around like a drunken bird.

“The Cisar sent _me_ to reign you in and that gives _me_ the higher ground!You’ve grown too bumptious!”Kaznia sighs at this tirade, uncaring of any opinion this man may have of her.The jealousy is practically oozing from his pores and she has much better things to do with her time.She nods at Astra.“Your ego is costing us valuable time and—”

“Apologies.” Kaznia says to the remaining human soldier.The Captain; a young man who looks dangerously close to pissing his pants.“It would appear you have received an early promotion.”

Edge’s decapitated head rolling to an abrupt and bloody stop at the soldier’s boots is oddly poetic.

“Lord Kaznia,” the new Commodore says breathlessly, puffing up a young chest and trying to look a lot bigger than he was.Which was silly considering the young man had at least four inches on Kaznia even without the military grade boots.“The Cisar will be expecting a reply.”

“Yes.”For a second she’s tempted to tell them all to go to hell but then she remembers what the cost of that will be.She’d joined the Legion to bring peace and order to this worthless galaxy; to try to give the sniveling inhabitants a semblance of gentle life.Going against her Master would see that she survive less than a day.“Give my apologies to the Cisar.Tell him that I am working on both my ego and my temper.Then inform him that we have made contact with one of our men on the inside of the rebellion.”

“Contact my Lord?”

“Tell him that I will have his plans soon.And the heads of the thieves who dared get in our way.”

He nods shakily, spins on his heel in perfect military execution and leaves her ship with his droids and his dignity.His previous boss cannot say the same.

A small beep echoes from her watch and Kaznia sighs again before straightening her clothes.

“Clean up your mess.”She orders, Astra nodding brusquely in acceptance before Kaznia strides passed her and back towards her living quarters.

Just before she would have entered her own rooms, she stops at a nondescript door and presses her palm to the biometric panel on the wall.A quick scan on her hand and she’s stepping into Mikhail’s common room.The boy is still small, barely reaching Kaznia’s chest, but he’s at least filled out in muscle and body fat since Taris.And his energy is now on par of what one would expect of a child in his age group.

He still smiles when he sees her; a bright and glowing thing that makes Kaznia’s insides squirm.

“I have prepared the chess set.”Mikhail declares, sweeping a hand over the pristine wooden boardgame.“And I have placed a lunch order.”He winks at Kaznia playfully.“For the both of us.”

“I cannot stay for lunch; just one game.”

Mikhail pouts, timidly rubbing a hand over his head and his new woolen cap.He had told her he got cold on the ship, a sensation Kaznia was normally immune too, and she had asked Astra to source him proper human attire.

As easy as it would have been to make the temperature part of his training, Astra had been on her to not break the child too early.Plus… the thought of permanently harming Mikhail was simply distasteful.

“Perhaps we will eat _while_ we play?”

Kaznia grunts but sits anyway, smiling gently when Mikhail excitedly hands her a bowl of warm stew.“Why is it important that we share a meal?”

“I just don’t like eating alone.”Mikhail says, shrugging.

Yet another thing Astra had warned her about.Having a ward was proving to be very time consuming and she couldn’t extend her time with Mikhail without giving up time to do her work for the Legion.Which couldn’t happen.

…

Perhaps a compromise.

“I am sorry you are alone so much.I will try to visit more.If you can finish your training on time, then you can join me in my quarters.Review plans with me.You will need to learn these things eventually.”

Mikhail beams and the odd squirming in her chest settles for some reason.

“I did my stretches _twice_ today.And I spoke to the General.She says I am showing great improment.”

“Improvement.”Kaznia corrects, watching Mikhail eat and slowly beginning to consume her own meal.“We have spoken about your language lessons as well yes?”

An orphan from the undercity of Taris, Mikhail’s illiteracy was hardly of his own making.Kaznia had not faulted him for it and his general focus and drive to overcome the glaring flaw was admirable.In just a few short weeks he was well on his way to spelling more complex words like ‘Legion’ and ‘history’.He still struggled with anything not designed for toddlers but Kaznia didn’t expect that to last very long.

He reminded her of someone.

As always, the matter of who alludes her, but she knows it was someone she’d cared for.Perhaps a family member from her lost past.The Cisar had never been very forthcoming about such things but Kaznia knows…knows it in her bones that she’d had _someone._

She can’t remember who.

That hurts sometimes.

“Yes, Lord Kaznia and I’m reading all of the books you brought for me as well.The General helps me sometimes.I really like the stories.”

That’s the second time he’s said that.“The General”.Generals were part of the Rebellions class structure, not the Legions.Kaznia has no idea who he is talking about, but the threat of an infiltrator cannot be overlooked.If someone had revealed something to him, even by accident, she needs to know.

“Who is the General?”She asks simply, dunking a piece of bread into her stew and taking a bite.

Mikhail gives her an odd look, as if she were the one spewing nonsense, but answers her just as simply.“Miss Astra.She’s really nice.She brought me pencils and papers to help with my letters.And she wants me to practice my drawing; she said it will help with my cargraphy.”

“Cartography.”

Interesting.Not surprising though.Before she’d joined up with the Legion, or rather, sworn her saber to Kaznia, Astra _had_ been a General.But one without an army.A Kryptonian soldier lost and alone, she’d taken one look at Kaznia, seen her for what she was, and asked for a lifeline.

Having a Kryptonian Force wielder as her bodyguard could only have ever been a good idea so Kaznia had accepted.

It’s still odd that Astra is using her former title though.

Mikhail hums his acknowledgement.“I like the stories about the evil rancors and brave Imperial soldier that took its head!”Mikhail turns his head up dreamily, slouching just a bit in his chair as if all of his gusto has left him to float above his head.“One day I want to ride one!”

“Then you’d best practice your balance.”

It’s a silly thing to want to ride a rancor.Most of her encounters, Kaznia was simply happy to have survived but she won’t begrudge Mikhail his imagination.Such things were vital at this age and he’d need it as his skills with the Force and a lightsaber developed.Her own ability to think quickly in battle and improvise had saved her on more than one occasion.

Warm spindly arms embracing her stomach jerk her from her thoughts and she has just enough time to look down at Mikhail before he’s pulling away again.

“Thank you.”He grins, plucking up a white chess piece.“Which side did you want to play?”

~*~

Alex is propped up against the cavern wall, Kara curled in a ball against her chest.Her right arm hangs uselessly by her side, her left slowly carding through Kara’s hair.

Given her current lack of arms, Alex has opted to hug Kara’s body with her knees, even going so far as to press reassuring kisses along her hairline.

Ever since the vault doors had sealed shut, Kara hasn’t stopped shaking.

Or crying.

Alex had tried calling for Lucy, but it seems their comms are no match for the solid leaden doors that they’ve become trapped behind.

Kara doesn’t have her powers on this planet and, even if she had, she can’t see through lead.

Can’t hear through lead.

And she’s apparently extremely terrified of the dark, rendering her inoperative.

Alex can’t use her like this.If they’re gonna make it out of here, she needs Kara to focus, needs her mind.

And to do that she’ll need her hands.

Still, it actually does hurt when she stops stroking Kara’s hair and the woman turns further into her, a weak cry falling from her lips.

It’s quick work to go through her pockets for her supplies.Alex was a chemist first and she finds that keeping cool chemicals on her person has saved her from a lot of scrapes.

Luckily for her, she’s been in positions where sight hasn’t really been reliable and so has labeled all of her tubes in braille.A secret only she and Eliza knew.

And now Kara.

“Can you hold this?”She requests of Kara, feeling for her hands and placing a stoppered tube of diphenyl oxalate in her shaking fingers.

Next she grabs a blue dye tablet and, uncorking the tube, drops it in.Lastly, she carefully pours in a hefty dose of hydrogen peroxide, quickly stoppers the solution, takes it from Kara, and shakes it vigorously.

She may have been too dumb to grab her bag of supplies before fleeing into the vault, but at least she’d kept the essentials in her pockets.

A soft blue glow illuminates their immediate vicinity and Alex carefully passes the tube back to Kara.

It’s not much, and it probably won’t last very long but she’s hoping it will be enough to calm the Kryptonian down.

As it is, the light has just solidified that there is nothing to this room.No other doors or outlets.Alex can hold out her hands and touch the walls on every side of her.

They’re trapped.

Fucking hell.

“Well,” she says sardonically, “this kinda sucks.”

There’s a stuttered breath from Kara and she presses her forehead against Alex’s collarbone, clutching the tube to her like a lifeline.

“Are we going to die?We drank that poison so… I’m so sorry Alex.”

Alex doesn’t even try to stop her hand from going back to Kara’s hair; from pressing a kiss to her forehead.She hates Kara like this.Hates it; hates it; hates it.

“You’re really smart you know that?”

“No.” Kara grunts.“I’m the one who got us into this mess.”

“You are.” Alex agrees.“You pushed that button without knowing what would happen which was… not your best move I have to say.But you also remembered what the riddle was.”

“It doesn’t matter—”

“It does.It was the ice.”

Kara’s head pops up.“What?”

“The ice was the poison.That’s why I said to drink the ice cups first: the ice didn’t have time to dissolve so not enough poison got into our systems to kill us.The drink wasn’t poisoned, the ice was.”

Kara’s nose wrinkles as she contemplates that but eventually, she rests her head on Alex’s shoulder again.

“It still tasted terrible.”

“Yeah it did.”Alex chuckles.“But I need you now.I need you to help me think and to help me see.Your eyes are better than mine and I have a bum arm.”

Kara startles, pulling away and seeing the way Alex’s right arm is hanging by her side.

“Did I—”

“Focus Kara; can you check around for me?Do you see anything weird?Anything out of place?”

Kara bites her lip, her fingers curling in Alex’s pants leg in an obvious show of fear.

“Please?” Alex prompts and Kara slowly, ever so slowly nods, tears springing to her eyes.“Think about that race Barry Allen completed when his engine caught fire.He was terrified but he did it anyway.”

“For his mom,” Kara whispers, widened blue eyes glowing in the dim light.“You like podracing?”

“What do you think I am: a monster?”

“No!But… when Winn tried—”

“I don’t like people messing with my ship.Now, what’s it gonna be?Death in a cave or flaming engine?”

The blonde stands slowly, her legs clearly shaky as she runs her hands over the walls.

“I hate the dark.”Kara whispers hoarsely, moving on to the next wall when the closest one proves futile.

“Why?”

Kara clearly needs a distraction and Alex is curious enough to give her one.Plus, she hates the idea of Kara being afraid of _anything._

But she still respects it when Kara doesn’t respond, when the blonde digs her hand into what appears to be a crevice rather than answering.

Alex hadn’t completely expected an answer.

They may be allies but that didn’t mean they were necessarily close.

And well… Alex had just snapped at Kara when she’d brought up her mom… and then kind of insinuated Kara had no control over her strength…

Not the best recipe for open communication.

“When I—when _Krypton_ exploded I uh… was nearby.My um… my parents had sent me and my baby cousin away on the uh… the rescue ships.They told me they loved me and… and…. To take care of Kal-El.He was only two and his parents’ last request was that I promise to keep him safe...”

Kara trails off and for a second Alex considers not prying, but they need to find a way out.She hopes it’s not her own selfish mind that had imagined Kara had been moving a bit easier while telling her story, than she had when she’d just been focused on the dark.

“That’s a lot of pressure,” she tries, nudging Kara’s boot with her own.“For a kid.”

“Yeah…”

“Were there other adults onboard?”

“Yes.But they were mostly humans.”Kara starts moving again, reaching up on her tippy toes as she follows a seam in the wall.“Non-combatants, people who were just trying to make a living, you know? Kal was crying and I… I’d _promised.”_

“What’d you do?”

“I… you just have to understand that people were scared you know?And they didn’t have any special abilities they were—they were cooks and chamber maids… dignitaries!None of them knew how to fix a ship.”

“But you did?”Alex questions, a sick feeling settling in her gut when she makes out a vague nod from Kara.She runs her tongue over her incisor and chooses not to be negative.That’s not what this was about; it was a distraction not a call for Alex to judge the assholes who’d allow a child to take the lead.“That was brave.”

“It was dumb. The glass cracked in the main windshield. No one really knew what to do but I’d made a promise, so I acted.”

Despite her best efforts, Alex can’t contain the shock that leaks into her voice.“You were a _kid_.”

“The adults were… scared, I guess?I don’t know.They didn’t have a lot of hope.When they saw the crack, they just watched it… So I tried stopping it with my hand.”Kara laughs, in the dim light Alex thinks she sees a self-deprecating shrug. “But it spread, and I panicked and the next thing I knew my back was sucked against the glass.I made a pretty good seal for a while there.”

Alex’s gut burns with rage and disgust.This was _not_ what she’d imagined Kara’s origin story would be.Not at all.

“That’s when me and Winn teamed up.We’d been friends before but… well no one else knew what to do but Winn—he was a bit older than me—he managed to find the cryospray and a space suit.He put something over my back so it wouldn’t stick to me and made a new seal.It took him a while but—I got something!”

Despite wanting to know what Kara had been about to say, her excited shout seems a bit more critical at the moment and Alex lurches to her feet instead.

And promptly throws up.

Kara grabs her shoulders, pushing Alex’s hair away from her face.

“Are you ok?”

“I’ll be better when I can set my arm.”Alex admits dizzily. “What’d you find?”

Kara eyes her before shaking her head.

“You’re not scared of the dark, are you?”

“No.”Alex admits, “why?”

“Because I need to scout ahead.”Kara says cheekily, a grin flashing over her face before she presses a kiss to Alex’s forehead.“Stay here.”

She’s gone before Alex can protest and the brunette grumpily slumps back down to wait it out.

It will give her time to process Kara’s story as well.

Having dealt with her own fair share of trauma Alex can see that Kara had been telling the truth… mostly.

It had seemed like she’d been trying to change small things, though for what reason Alex doesn’t know.

And what things she’d changed was hard to tell with the way she’d stumbled through her entire story.

Still, the gist of it is horrifying.

Kara would have been young when Krypton exploded.She’d have had to be at least eight or nine maybe?If the age she’d been giving to anyone who’d questioned her was correct anyway.

Alex can’t remember exactly when Krypton exploded and Kryptonians were said to age slower but… surely she couldn’t have been any younger than that.

It’d be way too tragic to imagine even a child of that age being stuck as a vacuum seal.Alex can’t imagine the amount of pain that she must have been in.

And she had to have been on a ship with more low skilled workers if a boy a scant few years older had been her only source of rescue.

What a fucking hand to be dealt.

And Alex had been complaining about her lot in life.

Kara had lost her entire planet.Including, it sounded like, her parents.And a sister that she had mentioned on Taris.

Her family.

Her friends.

People she’d gone to school with.

Just— _people_.

Her entire race.

Gone.

And then she’d been saddled with a two-year-old to raise on top of that?

Alex wonders what had happened to the child.

Kara hadn’t mentioned him much, but she also hadn’t made it sound like he had died as well.

Alex hopes he’s ok; for Kara’s sake if nothing else.

Thinking of her own shit, Alex has to admit maybe she wasn’t the only one with a terrible past.Maybe Kara’s smile and charm and good humor didn’t make her naïve.

Alex is kind of starting to see them as a strength.A suit of armor so to speak.

_Demons run,_ Jeremiah had said, _when a good man goes to war._

She was starting to get that now.

The sound of hurried footsteps returns her to the present and she quickly stands, hand going to her dagger when Kara’s tousled blonde hair pushes through the wall.

Scratch that, a seam in the wall?

A crack?

Kara sends her an excited smile, the glow tube held high in her hand as she holds the other out to Alex.

“Come on!Winn and Mera are on the other side!”

Alex follows her, squeezing through the narrow space she hadn’t seen before and basically crawling behind Kara.It’s difficult with her busted arm, but when they reach the other side, a wider open space with _light,_ she can’t find any room for annoyance.

At least, to Winn’s dad very minimal credit, it looks like he’d intended for the vault to open completely into this chamber.Age and failing mechanics had allowed the place to fall into mild disrepair and their end had been closed off due to the resulting cave in.

Way to go Lady Luck.

Kara helps Alex to her feet and pulls her over to Winn and Mera, who are covered in a dark grey dust...soot?Smells smokey.

Winn holds up his hand when they approach.“Don’t ask.”

“They had a _dragon._ ”Kara supplies giddily, her previous fear all but wiped out.

Grumbling Winn folds his arms petulantly and turns away.

Mera looks as amused as Kara however and looks at Alex expectantly.“What about you two?”

“Alex made me a glow light!”Kara says, quickly stepping closer to Alex and bouncing on her toes.“We had to drink poison, but she figured out the riddle, so we survived but then the whole cave fell on top us and we barely made it out _alive_.”She turns to Winn with a frown.“Your dad was really evil.”

“Tell me about it.”Winn mutters.

Mera seems confused.“What’d you need a glow light for?”

And, when Kara blanches, Alex quickly steps up to save her from admitting anything she doesn’t need to.

“When the cave collapsed, I lost my pack and thus my flashlights… and also your sub.Sorry.”

Waving a hand nonchalantly, Mera spins to take in the rest of the area.“Arthur can always send someone down to retrieve it.He can talk to the fish.”

Obviously Kara’s eyes widen in amazement and Alex shakes her head affectionately.

“What’s our next step?”She asks Winn, “isn’t the chip supposed to be here?”

“It is.” Winn says, staring at the ceiling.He points skyward.“Up there.”

And dangling from the chandelier is indeed a square box.

“Is that booby trapped?”

“No.”Winn sighs, “I already scanned it with like a million different programs.The trick is that we can’t get it.”

“I can.”Everyone turns to look at Kara and she blushes furiously.“I mean… well, I can jump really high.If I have a boost.”

“Right.”Mera nods.“Seeing as I’m the strongest one here,” she ignores Winn’s indignant shout, “how about we try this blondie?”

She stoops low and braces her hands together, happy smile in place.

The smirk she sends Kara is obviously meant to tease and, by the way Kara’s mouth pulls down in the corners, it’s working.It’s not something Alex appreciates since she’d just spent the better part of an hour trying to make the woman _happy._

“Don’t call me that.Besides, I still have to try something before I do that.As much as I trust Winn, I’d prefer to have all my tools in my belt.”With that she walks towards Alex and puts a hand on her shoulder. Kara’s eyes are even bluer up close.“Do you trust me?”

“Like sixty percent.”Kara scoffs and Alex reconsiders.“More like forty considering you made me drink poison with a half assed idea of the real— _son of a bantha!!!”_

Kara gently runs a hand along her now relocated shoulder before folding Alex’s mended arm at the elbow.The blonde pulls off the golden belt from around her waist and secures Alex’s arm to her chest, Alex’s hand resting on her opposite uninjured shoulder.

“Try not to move that grumpy pants.”

“You are such a jerk.”

Kara grins, kisses her cheek, and spins to Mera.

“Ok: ready.”

A quick sprint and Kara’s foot lands in Mera’s palm, who surges into a standing position, hands going up, up, up.And Kara vaults into the air, higher than Alex had honestly expected her to go.

And it may be the pain or the fact that she’d just had a cave fall on top of her or maybe those drinks really had been poisoned and she’s slowly dying but… she can swear Kara had _hovered_ for a split second before grabbing the box.

The moment has passed before she’s fully grasped it though and she quickly discards the idea when Kara starts falling.

Because they’d figured out how to get her up.

They hadn’t ever spoken of getting her back down.

Fucking hell.

~*~

“I leave you all alone for 5 minutes and Kara’s got a broken butt and Alex has a broken arm.”Lucy spins to glare at Winn.“What’d you break?”

“My pride.”

“Fair enough.”

“Not fair enough; he battled a dragon—”

“—toy dragon—”

“—he should be proud!”

Alex groans and rolls over in her bunk.“Please.Please give me another shot.”

“No.”Lucy argues, packing away the medical supplies.“You already had the recommended dose; give it time to kick in.”

“ _Lucy.”_

Kara worries her lip and glances at Alex’s form lying stiff as a board in her bunk.

“Can’t we just—”

“No.”Lucy insists.“Let the baby whine.That’s what she gets for trying to catch a grown ass woman!”

“She was trying to save me…”

Alex groans in agreement.

“How did that work out for you Sunshine?How’s your ass doing?”

Kara is sitting in a donut chair that Lucy and Winn had hastily assembled for her and Lucy had quickly charted a course for the closest planet with a yellow sun.It would have zero effect on Alex, but at least they’d regain one team member.

“It could’ve been worse.”Kara tries, “what would one more dose do to her?”

“Kill her?Send her into multiple organ failure?Destroy her kidneys?”

“Oh.”

“Yes.‘Oh’.Let her whine.”

“I hate you.”Alex whimpers.“I hate you so much.”

“I’ll live.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> From the top?
> 
> Yes that was a Finding Nemo reference. Sue me. (please don't, i'm poor). Obvi within this Universe it's not a pop culture reference but I still thought it was funny.
> 
> Kara is a mess of a rescuer. All limbs no finesse. But damn, imagining Alex tarzan her jane out of that hole is kind of hot. And then Alex made Kara laugh! She told a funny! Yay!
> 
> Then Kara hitting the hard topics because well... she's just a feeling person and I mean obvi she's digging Alex. She wants her to know she's important to Eliza and helping repair that relationship might soothe the beast.
> 
> Kara presses the button because who wouldn't? Also, Alex was taking 5ever. Not her fault.
> 
> I got that riddle from Pinterest btw.
> 
> Then, Alex gives Kara cuddles. I think it's pretty obvious where this is going right? (Can you feel the love tonight?).
> 
> Now for the big stuff:
> 
> So, per Kara's past... obviously she's lying about some things and withholding information about a lot but she can't just blurt it all out. One she doesn't even know Alex that well and for two... there are reasons. But we got a glimpse of what happened and for the most part the core elements hold true.
> 
> What Kara's gist was, was basically the canon story. Krypton exploded and her parents sent her and Kal-El away. But then, somehow Winn was involved and some human strangers which was not canon. So we're diverging but you'll get more info on how and what as we go. Winn talks about it some more next chapter I believe?
> 
> And that's the end of Fodu, Mera, and Aquaman for now. Moving on to more adventures as we try to decode Braniac's drive and figure out what the Legion is up to.
> 
> Also... I miss Lucy Lane on the show.
> 
> I think that's it?
> 
> Questions, comments, concerns?


	13. Ch 11: If you never try, you'll never know

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alex meets James and has a long over due conversation with her friends.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is one of my more favorite chapters :) Lotsa comfort in this one.
> 
> Also, the erraticism of my posting will probably come to an end the week of the Feb 8th. I'm going on Vacation around that time and will not be heard from for about a week and a half but I really want to get to chapter 16 before then because that's the halfway mark.
> 
> So be warned, you will be left with a semi-cliffy for a bit before I start posting once a week, probably on Sunday or Monday. :)
> 
> Song:Fix you- Coldplay

It takes Kara less than a day to heal once they get to Dragras.

It takes Alex a week; and that’s with the help of medpacs and advanced healing serums.Winn and Lucy thankfully use that time to put his processor to work.By which Alex later finds out is just Winn beginning the process of building a new computer with said processor.

Oh.And he’s also phoned his boyfriend James to meet them on the last leg of the trip and get the rest of what they need.

This whole mission is taking a hell of a lot longer than she had originally imagined.

Luckily, Kara manages to take the edge off of her frustration while she’s bed bound.The Kryptonian had sat by her bedside the entire time, even going so far as to spoon feed Alex those first few days.Alex is pretty sure that it is only her embarrassment that had saved her from worrying over their timeframe.

Well that and her very warranted anger at Lucy for letting Kara take on the role of caretaker.

Her friend had laughed heartily the first time she had walked in on Kara trying to force a fork of rice down Alex’s throat.Alex had tried pleading for support, but Lucy had quickly made her getaway with a wave and a grin.

“Enjoy the domestic life Cap.”

The only saving grace was that Kara had blushed as hard as she had.

During her recovery, Kara had told her some more about her life.It had been a quid pro quo of sorts; Alex only let her help when Kara distracted her with stories.

And so Alex had questioned her on what had happened after Winn had relieved her from her “windshield stopper” duties.Kara had seemed just as uptight now as she had back in the cave, so Alex hadn’t gotten too much out of her, but she had expected as much.

Winn had gotten her down and between the two of them they had fixed the hyperdrive.Alex had wanted to know why the adults hadn’t helped but Kara had given some lame excuse about inexperience.She and Winn had been _children._ The fact that they had been responsible for repairing a ship on their own was inexcusable.

And Alex has known Kara long enough now to rule out any exaggeration in her role here.Kara didn’t revel in character celebrations; she didn’t need attention.

If she’d said she repaired the ship, Alex believed her.

She’d let the story drop though, content in letting Kara take her down different stories from her travels.Almost all of which included this same “Dox” character that Alex had assumed was an imaginary friend of sorts.

Another reason Kara was weird.

And maybe it was the pain medication that made her bring it up, but Alex seriously just had to know at this point.

“Who’s Dox?Is he a plant or something?”

“A plant?”Kara blinks at her from the workbench across the room.Alex kept a very orderly room in that she understood her mess better than anyone and would like it if Lucy stopped harassing her.Currently, Kara is mixing the paste that will help speed along Alex’s healing, her hand moving steadily in a clockwise motion.“Why would you think he’s a plant?”

Alex grunts and swings her legs over the bed, ignoring Kara’s cry of alarm in favor of slouching against the wall.

“You always talk about him like he’s here, but I’ve never seen him.And… now that I know you more I don’t know; you don’t seem very crazy so I’m kind of hoping he’s not just a made up thing or an apparition or something.”

Kara eyes go soft and the look she gives Alex is so warm that she has to look away.

“You were worried I was crazy, and you still became my friend?”

Alex shrugs and bashfully scratches at her cheek.“We all have weird coping mechanisms.”

“Lean forward.” Kara orders, stepping through Alex’s organized clutter and sitting on the bed.Alex obeys and Kara gently lifts her shirt, massaging the first layer of the paste into her sore and bruised skin.

She works in silence for a little while and Alex lets her, focused more on the sensation of Kara’s hands than anything else.Growing up… Alex hadn’t had a lot of physical affection.Eliza hugged her, sure but it had taken a while for Alex to work up enough courage to hug her back.Or to even not freak out when Eliza went in for the hug.

She’s wary of people touching her and she knows its something she should work on but right now?None of that really qualifies.

With Kara, Alex feels kind of… safe.

“Dox isn’t imaginary.”Kara says softly, breaking the silence as she works her way up Alex’s back.“He’s… an AI, I guess?But he’s more than that.I found him one day on one of Winn’s computers.He was hiding out as a program and… If I tell you this, do you promise to never to anyone else?Well… Except maybe Lucy. And Nia… We both like her and Dox _really—_ Ow _!_ ”

Alex twists in shock, trying to look at Kara to see if she was serious but is subsequently forced to face front again.“Wait Lucy?”She completely skips over Nia since she’s unlikely to see her before the end of this mission. But Kara liking Lucy? “She’s an asshole.”

“No, she’s not.She has a mission.I can respect that.”

Alex almost chooses to let it drop; if Kara can forgive the asinine shit Lucy had pulled, Alex isn’t going to convince her to rescind that kindness.

Still…

“Since when do you two get along?”

“Lucy was really worried about you when we got you back to the ship.She may play up the whole “not caring” thing but I think that’s just a weird thing rebels do.”Alex’s lips tick at the word “weird”, amused for some reason that Kara found her and Lucy as weird as they found her.“I helped her get you settled and treated but then she realized I was hurt too and that’s when the yelling started.You only came to after she’d calmed down and made me that chair.”Even though she can’t see her, Alex can _hear_ the smile in Kara’s voice.“She’s worse than a mother Porg.”

“I promise not to tell anyone except maybe Lucy.”She touches her pink and thumb together, the middle three fingers standing straight and proud.The oath of a Republic Officer.“I swear it.”

Something soft touches her shoulder a breath before Kara is hugging her.It takes Alex another second to realize she’s been _kissed_.

Kara had kissed her shoulder.

The act made her tense, made her face flood with heat and her throat close in on itself.And it still felt _nice._ She…kind of wants to feel that again.What the hell was going on with her?

“Thank you.” Kara murmurs before pulling back and resuming her work.“And Dox says thank you to.”

“You’re welcome.” Alex squeaks out, trying to stamp down her reaction.

“So yes, Dox is an alien AI from Colu.They’re mostly extinct now but they’re a species of sentient androids. Brainiac, the one on Taris, he destroyed his home world and fled.Dox and a few others managed to escape as well through the communication networks, but they had to give up their bodies.”

“So, he’s like a feeling computer.”

Kara hums her agreement.“At the moment he’s a program that lives in my suit.He… helps me with stuff.”

“What kind of “stuff”?”

Kara shrugs.“Just stuff.”

Of course.

“So, you can hear him in your head?”

“Yeah, I have an implant in my suit that gives me a direct feed to him.That’s mostly how I’m able to build things so quickly.Dox helps with the schematics.”Kara’s fingers reach her neck and Alex fights a moan when she digs into a particularly achy spot.“I’ve been trying to make him a new body but… neither of us are very good at biology.”

Alex sighs, leaning back into Kara’s hands when her thumbs stroke along the base of her skull.Whatever previous embarrassment she’d had is gone now.Gone forever.This feels amazing.

“I am.”She sighs, neck lolling to one side with Kara’s movements.“Bodies are easy, you just need a cloning chamber and some trace DNA.”

Kara freezes and Alex’s mind stutters when she feels her freeze.Why had she stopped?Had Alex said something obtuse?

Kara interrupts her inner spiral almost immediately, yanking Alex back against her chest and peering at her over her shoulder.

“You can make a body?”

“Well more of a clone but yeah.”Looking at Kara from this angle was making her dizzy.“Like I said, I’d need some DNA to begin but after that—gah!”

“Oh Rao!”Kara’s got her arms tight around Alex, almost cutting off her airway.And she’s smattering kisses along the side of her head like an overeager teenager.Squirm as she might, Alex cannot get away and she’s only successful in rubbing her still naked back against Kara’s boobs which brought on a whole different slew of emotions.“What do you need?I mean: will you help us?I’ll pay you back somehow!Oh Rao!Are you sure?Oh!Oh, I’m so sorry, here.”

Kara releases her and Alex gasps, lurching forward and away and tugging her shirt back down for good measure.Sheepishly, Kara offers her the bottle of water that Alex had taken to keeping on her nightstand.

“Sorry.”The Kryptonian mumbles.“I tend to get a little over excited.”

“I’d noticed.”

Face flushing, Kara ducks her head and starts tugging on her sleeves.It takes less than a minute for Alex to break.

“I will _help_ you make a body if you agree to never strangle me again.”

“Ok.”Kara says eagerly, snapping to attention with a happy grin.She really was like a puppy.“What do we need to do first?”

~*~

Winn’s boyfriend arrives before they get very far.

Alex had set out to repurpose one of the cryo pods in the med ward of the Hawk.They had the ability to create tissue and would be suitable for a pseudo-womb with a few tweaks.

Unfortunately, they hadn’t gotten much farther than building the additional framework before Winn’s stupid boyfriend had sent word that he’d arrived, and the tech genius had swooped Kara away.

Alex had not been pleased.

“I’m meant to protect you; how am I supposed to do that if I’m not _with_ you?”

Kara had smiled her easy smile, sweeping a deep red cloak around her shoulders and clasping it at her neck.

“I’ll be back before you can miss me.Promise.”

“This isn’t about _missing_ you.”Alex says, following after Kara when she starts for the exit ramp.“This is about your _safety._ You do realize that you’re a wanted felon, right?”

“Yes.That’s why I have my disguise.”Kara flips the hood of her cloak up and grins triumphantly.

They’re doomed.Alex can already see the prison cell she’ll inevitably have to break them out of.

“Please let me go with you.I—you need me to watch your back!”

Kara sighs, pausing right before the exit and looking at Alex with nothing but fondness.“Alex… I’m relieving you of your duties. Temporarily.”

“Uh,” Winn interrupts them with a raised finger, “technically _I_ gave her that duty, so I have to relieve her.”Turning to Alex, he nods solemnly.“You are relieved for the next…” Winn pauses to glance at his watch, “five hours.Any longer than that and you have my permission to hunt us down.”

Alex had scowled.

Winn had blanched.

And Kara had giggled and kissed Alex’s cheek before pulling Winn off and away.

_Permission._

Like Alex needed his _permission._ She was a Commander in the Rebel army; one of the youngest ever named.She was a highly skilled combatant, genius level scientist, and hellified badass.She didn’t need Winn’s _permission._

“I have to say; I’ve never seen anyone sulk via working out.Normally it’s deep and moody brooding but I think you’re on to something here.If Kara was to walk in... yeah, she’d want in your pants.”

Alex misses the next rung on the salmon ladder, a vertical station designed to work nearly every muscle in her body.The pole she’d been using to catapult herself upwards, missed it’s rung when Lucy started talking about Kara and Pants in the same sentence, and Alex is sent crashing to the ground.

“I hate you.”She wheezes, her barely recovered body protesting anew. “I’ve never hated anyone as much as I hate you in this moment.”

“I brought donuts though.”Lucy’s stupid face appears above Alex’s head and the brunette grins down at her.“And Maggie’s on comms so we can girl talk without your girl now.”

“She’s not my girl.” Alex argues, pushing herself to her feet and grabbing the donuts from Lucy.“I’m not gay.”

Lucy shrugs.“It’s ok if you aren’t.”She pushes Alex down on a bench and sets the small holodeck with Maggie’s face floating above it next to them.“It’s also very ok if you are Captain.”

Alex grumbles.

“Why do you want to torture me?What’d I ever do to you?”

“I called Maggie because she’s the resident homo.”

“I’m _not_ gay.”

“That’s fine.”Lucy says, biting into a donut and sighing in pleasure.“But everyone knows that the gays are much more attuned with their emotions than the straights.If you follow my advice, I’d probably have you slutting around all of the galaxy on a quest for the perfect dick.Maggie will help you find true love.See the difference?”

Seeing the difference and understanding why the difference was being thrust upon her were two very different things.

“Danvers, Lucy called because she said you were distracted?”

Alex gives her attention to Maggie’s tiny body and fights the urge to grumble some more.“A little.”

Understatement, her brain shouts.Huge understatement!

After Kara had ditched, Alex had gone to her lab and tinkered.She’d actually made a few cool prototypes that she was pretty sure Kara would like… and then she’d realized she was making things for Kara and had fled to their small gym to work those thoughts out of her system.Unfortunately, her best friend was Lucy and she _sucked._

“Because of Kara?”Maggie asks.

“I… Not in a _sex_ way.”

“Again,” Lucy says, “it’s fine if it _is_ in a sex way.Kara’s hot.”

Lucy has always been candid but for some reason, hearing her talk about Kara like… like she’s just a body is… infuriating.And embarrassing.But mostly infuriating!Alex’s face reddens and she curls her fingers around the lip of the seat in an attempt to not _throttle_ her friend.

“What are you thinking about Danvers?”Maggie asks directly, “Right now?Spit it out.”

“That I _hate_ Winn.”Alex readily admits.“He’s the most annoying little troll doll that I’ve ever met in my life.Like—are you kidding me?Permission?I don’t need his _permission_!”

“You don’t.”Lucy agrees, trying for a donut and getting swatted in the attempt.

Alex grabs the one Lucy had been trying to take and stuffs it into her mouth.

“If I wanted to look out for Kara there is literally _nothing he would be able to do to stop me.”_

“Super right.” Maggie nods.“If he hadn’t managed to lock the doors with some high-tech thingy, you would be out there right now.”

“… He didn’t lock the doors.”Alex mumbles around a mouthful of dough, eyebrows scrunching together in confusion.“Who told you he locked the doors?”

“No one.”Maggie says, “I just assumed since you’re sitting here stuffing your face that you had some other reason for not following your girl.”

“ **Stop** calling her that.”

“Ok.”Lucy allows, “what are you working on in the med bay?It’s taking up a shit ton of space.”

Alex glances between her and Maggie before stuffing another donut in her mouth and chewing maniacally.She had been given permission to tell Lucy not Maggie.And since Maggie was still on the line…

“It’s a… gift.For Kara.”

“God your hopeless.”

“Will you please stop?”

“Alex,” Maggie says, much mor patiently than Lucy’s annoyance.“Neither one of us is trying to put you on the spot and if you really don’t want to talk about this then we’ll drop it.”

“Please do.”Alex growls.

“ **But** ,” Maggie continues, “I just want you to know that this distraction of yours sounds like unresolved feelings to me.My own personal opinion.And those things can be really scary. I was scared as shit when I realized I liked girls, but my best friend looked me in the eye and told me it didn’t matter.Worst advice you ever gave me by the way.”

“Fuck you Maggie, I was _thirteen_.”

“Yeah well, the thing is that you _do_ matter.And how you _feel_ matters.And if you feel something for Kara, platonic or romantic, then that’s ok and it’s ok for you to talk about it.Lucy and I have your back.”

A nudge from her side has Alex looking up into Lucy’s grinning face.“Always Cap.”

The sudden swell of emotions is enough to make Alex jerk away from her friend and glare holes down at the floor.She’d always appreciated having a fairly unconditional support system in these two and now… now she isn’t sure what her problem is.She honestly doesn’t know _how_ she feels about Kara.She’s distracted sure but… does that mean she… _likes_ her?Like “ _likes”_ like her?

It isn’t even an issue of Kara being a girl so much that… Alex can’t really remember the last time she’d genuinely liked _anyone._ If she ever had… mostly she found potential partners… annoying.Time consuming.

She didn’t mind spending time with Kara and… even when she was annoyed by her she still really liked her.

Liked having her around.

“I…”Alex licks her lips, closing her eyes briefly as she thinks of how to phrase her thoughts.“I like Kara I just… am confused about… why?Or how maybe… I don’t know but I don’t want to talk about it.At least… at least not until I know more.”

“Whatever you need Danvers.We’ll drop it until you’re ready, right Lucy?”

“ _Fine.”_ Lucy fakes a donut swipe that Alex blocks but is victorious in pilfering one with her other hand.She grins happily.“Then what are our next steps?We’ve been here for a week now while you cuddle up with… Kara.”

Alex glares at her but is grateful Lucy had censored herself this time.Her head is enough of a mess without adding Lucy and Maggie’s unnecessary teasing to the mix.

“Winn and Kara are going to pick up James and her cousin Clark.Kara’s actually pretty excited to see her cousin; she says they haven’t been in the same room in years.”Alex says thoughtfully, slightly happy that Kara will at least have her cousin back and will maybe stop yammering on about him.“Winn says that he still needs another 128 gb of ram and a better cooling system before he’s done with his computer but that they should be able to source a lot of that here.James has the last piece; a program Winn entrusted him with that will allegedly hack any encryption in the galaxy.Winn says he needs that to finish cracking the data they got off Brainiac.”

“And _then_ its go time?”

“Not quite.”Alex scrubs a hand over her face.“Unfortunately, he can only track the weapon _after_ he breaks through the firewall and given the amount of data he has to go through that could take a few days.”

“So much for most powerful computer chip.”

Alex eats another donut.

“There’s something else you should know.”Maggie says, clearing her throat and pursing her lips.“I’ve been keeping my ear low to the ground.Me and the family are on Coruscant now and well… the Ebon Hawk just went way up on the most wanted list.”

Lucy grunts.“That’s fine.I already scraped the old tags so no one can—”

“That’s just it Lucy.I don’t think tags matter here.”Maggie leans in closer, as if she’s afraid of being overheard.A reasonable fear to have on a shit planet like Coruscant.“You’re not being tracked by some no name bounty hunter.According to the whispers the Sith are pissed that you guys got through the blockade.They’re saying that the Supreme Leader sent Lord Kaznia after you.”

Alex sits up, donut crumbs falling down her front.“Kara?”

If she had allowed Kara to go off on her own with no one but Winn for protection against a _Sith Lord_ , she’d never forgive herself.

“No.”Maggie shakes her head.“No one knows any names, thank god, and they don’t even really have descriptions since the Sith blew everything to hell, but they saw the Ebon Hawk.No tags were recorded but they have the make and model of the ship.It’s only a matter of time before they track you down.”

“Damn.”Lucy mumbles.

“Yeah, I didn’t believe it myself until I saw her here.”

“You saw her?”Alex is suddenly hyper focused, all thoughts of their earlier conversation wiped from her mind.If Maggie had gotten a look at the lap dog of the Cisar, that would enable the rebellion to track the son of a bantha and be that closer to ending this damn war!“Lord Kaznia; you got a—”

“No; I wish.She was still in her mask.But her and her goonies showed up a few days ago, did the whole song and dance torture routine near the old Jedi temple and then skedaddled.I almost shat my pants.”

“Well…”Lucy pouts, “that just made this whole adventure suck a whole lot more.”She turns to Alex, “could you take on a Sith Lord Cap?”

“Theoretically.”

Maggie snorts.“No she can’t Lucy.If you see them coming you turn tail and _run,_ you hear me?”

“That would be the obvious choice.”Alex agrees, “but if it’s not a possibility than I can hold them off long enough for you to get Kara and Winn and go.”

“No.”

Shaking her head, Alex sets the box of donuts to the side.“I don’t believe I gave you a choice Lieutenant.”

It’s Lucy’s turn to scowl.“I’m not leaving you to die you slow ass crock pot.”

“Lucy,” Alex says gently but firmly, Maggie silent in the background.“Let me be clearer: I’m _not_ giving you a choice.If it comes down to it, Kara and Winn are the key to saving the galaxy and stopping the Sith.Not me.You have your orders.”

When Lucy’s eyes get suspiciously glossy and she turns to look away, Alex kindly returns her attention to Maggie.None of them like the current situation but they’d all signed up knowing the risks.Lucy was the pilot; her job was transport.It was not and never would be “Alex’s protection detail.”

“We’ll keep our ears and eyes open for more news.”Maggie continues softly.“But please, Alex I’m begging you here, don’t do anything stupid.”

Given her track record, Alex knows she can’t really promise such a thing.So she instead picks up the box of donuts and hands it back to Lucy as a peace offering.

“What’s the word from my new bestie?”She asks only after Lucy has taken another donut.“Is Jamie cleaning that dagger I gave her?”

What follows is a long lecture on the dangers of giving a child a weapon; Lucy jumps to her defense with a diatribe on how young girls need to learn to protect themselves early and just like that things go back to normal.

~*~

Kara and Winn return with 5 minutes to spare.

~*~

Alex doesn’t mind James.

Now that she’s seen him up close, she doesn’t even mind Winn.James is a large man, both in bulk and in height, with dark skin and a bright smile. His shoulders are broad, biceps bulging in the tight shirt that fits snuggly against his well-defined abs. It’s showy in that way male models like to be the supposed epitome of strength and manliness.

Those same men are usually the first to flee a fight in Alex’s experience. The majority of the populace doesn’t seem to know that, so it at least makes her feel better that Kara had had a “showy” backup.

Alex has seen real strong men and they would all eat this pretty boy up for dinner.

But she can see why Winn fawns over him, and she secretly appreciates that having James onboard might mean that Winn doesn’t convince Kara to do anything else foolhardy.Like go out into the city without _real_ backup.

Clark is another story.

Clark is not large or bulky or showy.

Or maybe he is.

Alex wouldn’t know because the asshole hadn’t shown up.

And now Kara is moping around the ship like someone had told her she couldn’t have dessert.

And maybe it’s not her smartest move what with a Sith Lord on their tail and dramatically upping the stakes in all of this but… she pulls Winn away from his boyfriend and the Supercomputer.

If she’s going to help Kara, she needs more information.Kara may be a font of information about most things, but she tends to shut down when it comes to her past.

Winn had apparently been there for a lot of it though so maybe if Alex skips getting the painful bits from Kara, they can jump right into the whole “men are trash” speech.

Surprisingly, Winn is very helpful.

“Well, what did she tell you?”Winn asks, hands braced against his knees and his sound dampening machine on.James is sprawled out on the floor behind them reading some book, unwilling to go too far when he and Winn had just been reunited.

“Just that you two were on a ship that escaped Krypton’s destruction.”Winn’s lips tick which means that’s a lie, but Alex doesn’t say anything about it.“And that she accidentally made herself into a Kryptonian air-seal,” Winn grunts, “and that you saved her and the two of you figured out the hyperdrive.”

“That’s it?”

“Mostly.” Alex chews her lip, seated across from Winn with her arms crossed tight against her chest.“How much of that was a lie?”

“Not all of it.”Winn reassures, “and honestly it’s a lot more than she’s told anyone else.”He soothes his palms over his thighs and shakes his head.“Look, it’s her story so I can’t tell you… _everything_ but there’s a lot there that is inconsequential that I _can_ tell you.”

“Like?”

“Like that Kara and I were both children.”

“Yeah… I kind of got that.”

“And did you wonder why we would be the only two capable of fixing a hyperdrive on a ship full of adults?”Alex doesn’t say anything, but she doesn’t need to.That had obviously been the glaring flaw in Kara’s story.“It’s because there weren’t any adults _left_.Kara got stuck on that damn windshield and they all jumped ship.They took her baby cousin and they got in the evacuation pods.I was the only one who stayed.”

Everything that Alex had thought she knew came crashing down, shattering in tiny painful pieces at her feet.

Holy shit.

Just… fuck.

Alex wasn’t the best person in the world, and she didn’t really have a whole lot of optimism for people in general but…. To leave two children alone on a busted ship?

And to take the only family that Kara had left?

“Kara’s doesn’t not look her age because she’s an alien.”Winn continues, “Neither of us aged because we got sucked into a black hole for about twenty-three years.It’s why she’s so afraid of the dark.”Winn shrugs but Alex can see the pain in his eyes; watches as James carefully closes his book and comes to join them at the table, taking Winn’s hand in his own.“By the time we were able to track down Clark, he was already an adult and he didn’t even know who Kara was.”

“But if you two didn’t age… I mean when you found him, he must have helped you then right?They must have had a chance to… I don’t know, bond or something?”

Winn shakes his head, clearly agitated.Alex has never seen him quite so angry.

“Do you know that’s not even his real name?His _name_ is Kal-El.The people who had adopted him changed it to Clark.Kara tried calling him Kal-El and he told her not to.He told her that the Kent’s were his family.”

“They are.”James rumbles gently, squeezing Winn’s hand.“It’s… not an ideal situation but the Kent’s are all Clark has ever known.You can’t fault him for that.”

“So what he just… left her?”

James makes a noise of protest, leaning forward with a supplicating hand.“It was complicated he—”

“She’s his cousin.”Winn argues.“He’s all she had left; he could have at least tried.Stop defending him.”

“I’m not.”James insists, “I just know its not as black and white as it seems.Clark was only twenty four when Kara found him; he wasn’t ready to take on the responsibility of a kid—”

“Kara was younger than that and she was ready to raise _him._ Stop defending him James.He abandoned her; clear and simple.”

The stare coming from Winn is the angriest Alex has ever seen and eventually, James has no choice but to cede his argument, kissing the back of Winn’s hand in apology.

Alex swallows, trying to bite back the nausea that has surged in her chest.“The Kent’s… they’re the ones who left you on that ship?”

As much as she can respect James’ position here, and even Clark’s, she can’t imagine anyone defending a couple who would abandon _children._ They would have basically kidnapped Clark; taken him from his only remaining family.

It hits a bit too close to home.

“No.” James refutes, “those people got him off the ship but didn’t want a kid.They were trying to rob the Kent’s but Jonathan, Clark’s father, he caught them at it and scared them off.They dropped Clark during the getaway and took off.Kent’s raised him after that.”

Winn’s glower deepens, knuckles whitening as he clenches his fists.“There’s no such thing as a “light side” Alex; when it comes down to it, people will look out for only themselves.”

When she finds Kara later, curled into a ball in her bunk, she still isn’t quite sure what to say.What Winn had just revealed to her is… a lot.

Even though she still isn’t very pleased with Clark, she can’t really fault him for his behavior.Kara had known who he was her entire life, had helped care for him as best she’d been able; had saved him.

For Clark, she was a distant relative come back from the dead.It was hard reshaping your life to include people you thought didn’t exist.

Alex knew that better than anyone.

She slumps against the side of Kara’s bunk, butt dropping to the floor and fingers digging in Kara’s blanket burrito until she finds her hand.

In truth, she isn’t even sure that she should be here.Of everyone on the ship, Alex is probably the least familiar with emotions, but she doesn’t want Kara to be alone.Even though Kara had already sent both Winn and James away in the hopes of being just that.Even if that’s all Kara wants, Alex can’t help the heavy feeling in her chest at the thought of this girl being alone in her pain.

Kara’s fingers lay limp in hers, but Alex hears the whimpers under the covers, the barely choked back sobs.It’s only a few more minutes of the torture that she decides she can’t just sit there and do nothing.She also can’t go back in time and fix what was already broken.Kara might feel like she has no one, like she’s lost her entire family and planet, and maybe that’s true but that doesn’t mean she can’t have a new one.

Years ago, Alex had felt the same way.And then she had met Jeremiah, and M’gann, and Eliza, and J’onn, and Lucy and Maggie…

It had taken years for her to be able to feel like it was real, but it had happened.

It could happen for Kara too.

She’s squeezed herself into the bunk before she can overthink it, pulling the blankets back that were covering Kara’s face.Kara’s hair is softer than she would have imagined, and this close Alex can smell that the shampoo she’d been using had a sweet scent.

Wrapping one arm around Kara’s now tensed torso, she tugs the blonde closer, the fingers of her other hand dragging lightly against Kara’s scalp.

“What are you doing?”Kara’s voice is hoarse, and she hiccups at the end, but she doesn’t pull away.

Alex counts that as I win.

“I am holding you.”Honestly, she’d meant that to sound a lot more confident, but she’ll take what she can get.Uncertainty for the second win.“And I’m stroking your hair because uh that is what I like to be done for me… When I am hurt.”

It feels like eons later that Kara finally relaxes into the embrace, pushing her face into Alex’s shoulder and letting her hands clutch at the soft material of the tan t-shirt Alex had thrown on. Kara starts sobbing anew and it tears at Alex’s heart; makes her pull Kara closer, only ever closer.

She wants her to know that she’s _here;_ that Kara has her.Has Alex.

As she feels Kara struggle to hold her pain, she makes a silent vow that Kara will always have her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So much cool.
> 
> Kara taking care of Alex is just "dawww" and Lucy thinks so too which is why she abandons Alex to that sweet sweet torture. And then it just comes back full circle at the end when Alex returns the favor.
> 
> DOX!!! Alrighty then; we finally get some details on him. Do you guys remember way back in S1 when Indigo like hid out in a computer for awhile? Yeah, Dox did that but unlike Indigo, could not reform himself so now Alex gets to build him a body. But all those times Kara was talking to herself? Dox. The advanced computing she and Winn did on Taris? Dox. Just a bunch of little things, generally when he's there Kara's suit gets the golden thread glow going. Not around or active, it's just normal... He does other stuff but I can't reveal that right now. :)
> 
> Alex's debate over her sexuality isn't a knock against the LGBTQ+ community obviously. But for those of us who were late to our realizations I think it's an honest conversation we have with ourselves and others. Not so much because we're anti being into whatever we're into but, at least in my experience, because you kind of feel like a dumb turd for getting a near perfect GPA but not figuring out that "hey, girls: I like that shit." And both Alex and myself hate feeling like dumb turds so... inner arguments.
> 
> Clark's story is pretty much the one from canon. He saw her but "couldn't" help her. However, before he could find some benevolent family to dump her on, Kara skedaddled.
> 
> Then the last bit with Alex: that line about stroking hair is from Grey's anatomy. Lexie says it to Mark when she breaks his Penis.
> 
> And.... I think that's it?
> 
> Questions, Concerns, Comments?


	14. Ch 12: Am I Ready For Love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alex does some serious thinking and then she fucks up. Badly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok, So I know I do the songs as titles and usually they're the ones that aligned with the chapter I was writing at the time. This particular song played the whole story and it's like... the basis of Alex's dev. I'm in love with it and I wholeheartedly advise you all to take a listen if you get the chance.
> 
> Song: Turning Out- AJR
> 
> Also, I'm not sure if I mentioned this before but there is some background homophobia in this story. It's not in your face and is almost purely political but just in case I didn't mention it, here's your warning and I'll add a tag as well just in case. We see it in this chapter in a convo between Alex and Kara. There's also a hint of … idk the term and I'm working off of like 2 hours of sleep but like when a nonbinary person is discriminated against? If you know the term lmk in the comments. Educate me. In this instance though it's much more perception. They're not *actually* being discriminated against. At least not intentionally... or at least not by the person in focus... I'm making this sound way worse than it is. Just... give it a chance.

When Alex wakes up, she immediately knows that something is off.For one, she’s on her back and she _hates_ sleeping on her back.

It just never happens.

The fact that she’s actually pretty comfortable is irrelevant; she’s a side sleeper through and through.

The second thing she notices is that there’s something heavy on her chest.

The third thing is that she’s got a mouthful of hair.

Opening her eyes, she sees that that hair is blonde and the memories of last night slowly filter back into her brain.

Right.

Kara.

The Kryptonian is spooned against Alex’s side, nose tucked up near Alex’s ear and leg thrown haphazardly across Alex’s waist.Her hand is loosely clutching at Alex’s top, fingers twitching every so often in her sleep.

As Alex leans her head back, she can see that that sleep is not peaceful.

Kara’s eyebrows are scrunched up, her lips pursed with soft murmurs escaping every so often.Asleep like this she looks even more fragile; as if the slightest movement could hurt her.Alex knows it couldn’t, has seen for herself the level of strength and aptitude that Kara has displayed but… well, she’s grown a little protective of her.

Which brings her back to yesterday.

Lucy and Maggie hadn’t been completely wrong for calling Alex out on her behavior.She _had_ been wallowing while Kara was gone.

The question was why?

And why now?They were in the middle of a war ending mission; the time for self-discovery was definitely over.

Maggie had figured her shit out before they’d even become teenagers and the Fleet had been happy to look the other way until Kate had come along.It was fine to explore and “find yourself”.No one cared who you slept with.

They cared very much who you married.

By all rights, Maggie should have been a Commander by now.Or at the very least a Lieutenant like Lucy.Instead she was a classless Spy.She got a monthly stipend with no accolades or support.Her death and the Rebellion’s victory would be the only way the Alliance would acknowledge her service.

But Jamie would always be a bastard to them.A girl without a father.

And Kate wouldn’t be known as a widow.

There were very few things that Alex was ashamed the Republic stood for, but this was definitely one of them.Seeing the difficulties her friend faced for simply _loving_ someone turned Alex’s stomach. That the people responsible were the same people Alex had sworn to protect… it was best to shove those boxes into the back of her mind.

There were individuals, Lena and Leslie among them, who disagreed with the current rules.But Lena and Leslie were Jedis and as such above the daily monotony of life.

Their job was to advise and protect, not create legislation.

Nia, as the daughter of a previous Queen, was trying to put pressure on the remaining senators and had a good chunk of support, but unfortunately it didn’t look like anything would change until after the war.There were too many people who feared that any hint of change would cause more governments to defect to the Sith.

Alex doesn’t agree but she gets it and she’s pledged to do whatever it takes to end the war.

**IF—** and that’s a strong **if,** she had _feelings_ for Kara… She—that would just be absurd.

Alex had never been attracted to another woman in her life!And she’d been nude around quite a few during basic training.She’d seen naked women, had studied the female body while she was doing her Bioengineer training, and had never had an erotic thought.

And yeah, she thought Kara was pretty but… she thought Lucy was pretty too.And Maggie.

She probably would never hold either of them the way she was currently holding Kara but…

How did one _know_?

Did you just wake up and say: “hey I like boobs.”

Because if that was the case, Alex hadn’t had that revelation.She wasn’t suddenly overcome with the desire to get in Kara’s pants she just… she wanted to be close to her.

Kara’s breath hitches, soft like a cry and Alex reaches up to smooth her hair out of her face.The arm trapped under Kara’s body tightens around her shoulders and Alex gently shushes her in an attempt to ease her fears.

One of her movements must have disturbed her bedmate enough that Kara is soon blinking sleepy blue eyes up at her, her body stretching along Alex’s and mouth smoothing from the troubled pout into a small pleased smile.Strands of golden hair fall messily around Kara’s eyes despite Alex’s attempts to smooth it out but Kara only yawns—directly into Alex’s _neck_ —and pushes it away with a lazy hand.

“G’mornin.”Kara mumbles sleepily, nuzzling into Alex’s shoulder with a satisfied sigh and setting Alex’s heart into a mockery of a terrible rhythmless wannabe Bith band.

And yeah.

… Fucking hell.

~*~

Alex makes breakfast.

She and Kara had been the first ones up and she knows for a fact that the Kryptonian hadn’t eaten yesterday so… she makes breakfast.It’s a lot easier to make breakfast than to continue to rip apart the past twenty some odd years of her life.

Because that’s all she’s been able to do since she first woke up.

So: breakfast.

She makes eggs because after a day of fasting, Kara will need lots of protein.They’re scrambled though because Kara hates yolk; Kara isn’t completely vegan or even really vegetarian, but she cares about life more than anyone Alex had ever met.The sight of yolk usually makes Kara sad and guilty but given their current living conditions, it’s not like she can avoid eating every animal on the planet.Eggs are easy to come by and easy to store, Kara can go full vegetarian _after_ they win this war.

Alex also cuts up some fruit; or rather she pulls the fruit out of the pantry and Kara cuts it up.Offering Alex tiny bites between her scrambling the eggs and mixing the batter for the pancakes.Alex accepts because she’s learned not to argue with Kara when it comes to food.

In a little under an hour they have a large bowl of fruit salad, several stacks of almost perfect—re: not burnt—pancakes, scrambled eggs, and a half dozen sausage links for the others.

Alex grabs a plate and sits next to Kara at the booth table in the corner, easily accepting the mug of black coffee that Kara slides over to her.

All in all it’s an easy morning and Kara further distracts her with questions on the “Cloning Cradle” as they had taken to calling it.

“I reached out to a contact.”Alex says, leaning back in her seat and watching Kara shovel food into her mouth.“We can get a few ovum off of her for a good price.She owes me one and luckily… she happens to be here.If you don’t have any plans, I can call her and arrange a meeting for later today.”

Kara beams but then quickly deflates.“What’s a good price?”She fidgets, fingers going to the ever present watch on her wrist as she starts tapping at the screen.“Do you think I could sell a few things while we’re here?I have—”

“Don’t worry about it.”

“Alex.”Kara says, her mouth pulling down into a frown.

Fortunately, Alex has built up an immunity to the pout.

“I said don’t worry about it, Kara.Like I said: she owes me.I can cover the rest.”

The pout deepens.

It deepens further.

Kara’s eyes widen and—

Alex sits up and grabs Kara’s hand.“Look, if this Dox guy can help us end the war, then he’s worth it.Ok?And…with everything you’ve done for us so far—that you still plan to do, just consider us even.”

“I’m not keeping score.”Kara says softly, turning her hand over and interlacing their fingers.“I don’t want to keep score a with you.”

The way Kara is looking at her is so intent, so focused and unflinchingly earnest, that it makes Alex’s mouth dry and her palms sweat.

Winn noisily bustling into the room interrupts their moment, and the happy thanks that James sends over his shoulder makes Alex drop Kara’s hand.

After.

She can figure out what’s going on in her head after.

~*~

Alex is forced to pull Winn aside after breakfast; she’d noticed but not announced, some troubling red spotting on the leg of his pajama pants and she couldn’t _not_ say something.But she’s diplomatic enough to address the issue alone.

Winn hadn’t had any issues with blood _before_ James had arrived and now…

“Do you need me to talk to him?”She asks immediately after she’s pointed out the small speckles to Winn, arms crossed tight against her chest.

For Winn’s part he’s peering at the stains with open curiosity, prodding them with his finger as if that will tell him where they came from.“By “talk” do you mean help me find a body bag or actually talk.”

Alex is silent because being a Commander in the Rebel army wouldn’t save her from jail time, but she _would_ rip off James’ face if he’d purposefully hurt Winn.

“Alex it’s fine.”Winn finally chuckles when he sees her face.He reaches out and grasps her shoulder loosely.“James and I didn’t even have sex last night; this must be something old.”

His words would normally have made her relax but her focus is now completely on his hand.A fact he belatedly realizes when he squeaks and stumbles away from her.

“That,” Alex says calmly, “is good to know.If you need information on safe sex practices between two men I can—”

“Nope.No I—got the safe sex lecture already.I swear we’re not… _rough._ ”

Alex clicks her tongue.“As long as he’s not being an ass.”

“Shucks Commander,” Winn smiles and wiggles a finger at her.“I knew you had a heart.”

And that’s enough of that.

Rolling her eyes and ignoring Winn’s fumbling protests, she spins on her heel and walks away.Winn was a guest on her ship.That made him her responsibility.The emotional ties he was trying to create were itchy and gross.

Gods.

Now she needed a shower.

~*~

“I hate walking.” Winn grumbles.“Why is there always walking involved when it comes to you?”

“You weren’t even invited.” Alex retorts.“I would be very happy if you turned around and went back to the ship.”

James laughs, his arm over Winn’s shoulder drawing a few interested stares but not really making much headway.Dragmas is a planet known for taking in the misfits.If James PDA does anything, it makes people happy to see love exist.

That’s not to say that the planet is one of love and sunshine.It’s actually not even a real planet.It’s more of a collection of ships that got melded together over what was once a floating asteroid.The people here come from all walks of existence and you can pretty much find any species you would like within walking distance.They have their own public transportation system, their own government and commerce… it’s a Hodge-podge mix of outcasts who came together and made their own rules, their own way.

These people live by a strict code and, in her younger years, Alex had soaked it up with glee.To the Republic, they were nothing more than a band of smugglers; to Teen Alex, they were heroes.

Alex of now just really likes that they’re all able to blend.Another rule of Dragmas: No Snitching.

“How about we leave the ladies to their adventures and go finish your parts list hm?Maybe pick up some junk food too?”James offers, wriggling his arm and Winn underneath it.“I’m sure Kara could do with some snackage to cheer her up.”

Kara, walking mindlessly next to Alex, grins.It’s not her normal beam of sunshine, but Alex can see the effort behind it.

Kara’s trying to be positive, if nothing else.

“You find a pecan pie and I’ll love you forever.”

Winn grumbles but ducks out from under James to hug Kara instead.“You already love me forever.”

“I’ll see you back at the ship soon.”Kara says, stepping out of the hug after a moment of shared affection.“Keep your comms on.”

Winn nods and allows himself to be dragged away by James.Kara watches them go and Alex watches Kara.After a moment of studying the Kryptonian’s profile, the strong jawline and the soft arching neck… those delicate brows… Alex shakes herself and nudges Kara.

“Ready?”

It’s another twenty minutes before they reach Alex’s contact.Mostly because Kara had halted mid step in front of a stall displaying glass sculptures.

She bites her lip, fingers darting to her watch again before slowly dropping back by her waist, her brows drawing together as she shakes her head.

“Sorry,” she says, “I thought I—”

“See anything you like?”The man who bustles up to them is smarmy as hell and he gives Alex the creeps.Kara backs into her and Alex knows the feeling is mutual.

Still…

“How much for the glass star?”She points at one of the dangling necklaces on a pretty silver chain, the small pendant catching the light and sending sparks of rainbows dancing along the stall.

“Ah, yes.That would be 30 credits.”

“15.”

“I have to make a living.25.”

“And I have to rationalize giving you money for something that you probably stole from a hardworking artist.20.”

The man sneers but grabs the necklace and wraps it up.Alex gifts him her fakest smile, pays, and then pulls Kara away from the stall.

“Here.”She says as she continues to lead them away.“For your collection.”

“What?”Kara fumbles with the bag like it burns.“But—no Alex, I can’t accept this _and_ you paying for the ovum.”

“I thought we weren’t keeping score.”

“Alex.”

Alex grabs Kara’s hand and pulls her to the side so that they’re not in the way and she can look her in the face when she says this.

“Look, I don’t know why I got the stupid necklace ok?I just know that you like to collect “stars”.You’ve picked something up with that theme on every planet we’ve been on so far but I kind of think you ran out of money.Which is fine because I haven’t and I can buy it no problem but…”she closes her eyes, cheeks uncomfortably hot and her heart racing for some reason.“But you bringing it up and making a big deal out of it is making me uncomfortable.I want you to have it because I… I just… fuck, you… it makes me happy when you’re happy so can we _please_ just drop it?”

Her eyes dart up to Kara’s, catching the barest hint of a smile before she has to look at something else.She almost books it completely when Kara doesn’t respond for several minutes but finally the silence is broken by Kara taking her hand and leading her back onto the street.

“I don’t want to make you feel uncomfortable but just know that I really want to hug you right now.”

_Gods_.

“Please don’t.”Alex says, even though almost every cell in her body is saying the opposite.

“I won’t.”Kara promises, the back of her hand brushing against the back of Alex’s.“Just know that I really want to.”

~*~

Susan Vasquez is an old researcher turned Pirate Queen of Dragmas.Or insomuch as she calls herself a Pirate Queen; Alex is pretty sure no one else does.It’s actually pretty worrying.

Susan had been a Rebel comms expert before deciding that she’d take her chances on Dragmas where she could more easily go through her transition.

Also… their name is no longer Susan.

Alex learns that very quickly.

Vasquez, as they now go by, doesn’t really like to be labeled as a boy or a girl.It’s a matter of personal preference and is absolutely none of Alex’s business.

She still manages to trip all over the proper pronouns numerous times and needs Kara to bail her out on more than one occasion.

“Thank you for helping us.”Kara says cheerfully while Vasquez opens a large metal door in the back of her home.“I know you don’t know me but this really… it means everything to me.”

“She’s not helping us.”Alex argues, “sh—they… _they’re_ performing a service.”

Her decision to keep her mouth shut comes too little and too late as both she _and_ Kara shift in discomfort.God, she was a total spazz.It’s not like she _cared_ what Vasquez referred to herself— _themselves—_ themself?—gah!

“It helps if you stop thinking about it so hard.”Vasquez offers, walking back out of the large freezer they had disappeared into with a metal box the size of a hamburger.“The more you think about the pronouns, the more your brain just trips you up and the deeper you do this,” they waves a hand over Alex’s person, “thing you’re doing.”

“Sorry.”Alex coughs into her fist.Leg jittering in an eager anticipation of escape.

“I made a lot of people uncomfortable.”Vasquez says, “there’s no need to apologize for it.Where’s the credits?”

If Alex hadn’t felt terrible before, she certainly does now.She closes her eyes and scrubs a hand over her face.She’s not even sure where to _begin_ to fix this.

“Vas—”

“It’s not you.”Kara interrupts softly, “Alex just hates messing up.And you’re clearly important to her, someone she trusts. _You_ are not making Alex uncomfortable; _hurting_ you is making her uncomfortable.”

Vasquez grunts and turns curious eyes to Alex.“That true?”

Alex’s face is literally on fire.“ _God_ _Vas_.What do want a hug?”

“To start.”

Giving them one, a quick and completely awkward barely there hug, results in boisterous laughter from Vasquez who nearly doubles over in their mirth.

“You’re the most awkward idiot in the Galaxy Danvers.”

“Fuck you.”

“Is she still a taciturn charmer?”Vasquez questions Kara, their earlier discomfort seemingly forgotten.

Of course Kara shakes her head and ruins Alex’s reputation.“Alex isn’t taciturn; she says the important stuff.And maybe that means that sometimes she doesn’t say a lot, but she expresses herself just fine.To people who know how to listen, she talks.”

Vasquez’ eyebrows climb to their hairline and Alex quickly hands over the credits and takes the box from them.They may not have seen each other in a few years but Vasquez still knows Alex well enough to be able to read her.And right now, she very desperately does _not_ want to be read.

“Thank you so much for your time but Kara needs to eat.Big appetite, you understand.Maybe we’ll see each other when this is all over?”

“At the ‘people who got fucked by the Republic’ reunion?Yeah I’ll be there.”

Alex frowns, halfway to the door with Kara’s hand firmly in her own.“I’m really sorry for what they did to you Vas.And Maggie.Neither of you deserved that.”She shrugs, the box she had tucked under her arm digging uncomfortably against her rib cage.“I didn’t get fucked by the Republic, but I’ll be there if there’s an extra seat.”

And it should have been something that sent them back into their old camaraderie; an olive branch of sorts.

But then Vasquez is giving Alex a _knowing_ look, their gaze sliding over to Kara and giving her a once over before sending Alex an amused grin.

“Didn’t you though?Don’t let them stamp out your happiness too.You don’t have to be like me, but you also don’t have to be like Maggie.”

Alex practically runs from the shop.Her avoidance tactics are apparently terrible if Vasquez had been able to read her in one go.

God what was wrong with her?

What was wrong?

~*~

“Alex.”Kara prompts, voice gentle and oblivious to Alex’s inner turmoil.“Do you think I could just meet you back on the ship?I wanted to pick something up from a vendor I saw.”

Which: no.She cannot.Alex may want to get back to the privacy of her own bunk more than she wants to defeat the Sith but there’s no way she’s leaving Kara alone.

Plus…

“You don’t have any money.”Alex points out, not unkindly.She scrubs a hand over her face and glances mournfully in the direction of the Ebon Hawk.“Which stall did you want to—”

“I can sell some things Alex, don’t worry about it.I’ll meet you back on the ship.”

“No.”Alex drawls, eyes narrowing and taking in the now recognizably forced indifference in Kara’s posture.“You won’t.I told you: you don’t go anywhere alone.”

Kara frowns, a noise vibrating out of her throat that resembles a growl.“Alex… _please_ go back to the ship.”

“No.”

She does however flick the alert on her watch.If nothing else, Lucy will know that they got into trouble.She’s not sure how much help a pilot, tech geek, and pretty boy will be but trusts Lucy to think of something if it’s as bad as Kara is making it seem.

The blonde steps forward and cups her face.

“Why do you have to be so difficult?”Kara’s smiling and she’s touching her, but Alex is already on high alert.

So, when the object of her very confused affection tries to nerve pinch her the way she had Maggie on Taris, Alex is ready for her.

“Hey!”Kara yelps, snatching her fingers back and shaking out her hand.“That hurt!”

“No it didn’t.”Alex snatches the hand back and pulls Kara back in the direction of Vasquez.If nothing else, the former Rebel will have weapons and countermeasures already in place.“Now tell me who’s following us.”

Kara groans but follows, her eyes barely flickering.Alex notices the thread in her suit is glowing and wonders if that means Dox is awake.

“Ben Lockwood.He’s just up ahead.”

Alex frowns and does a one eighty, finding their exit blocked by a gang of men in gold masks.

“Friends of yours?”

“More like nuisances.Who I really really do not like.”

Somewhere in her brain, Alex is amused.Unfortunately, that’s mostly drowned out by the dressing down she’s giving herself.She’d let them be ambushed.Had gotten distracted during a very high stakes mission and allowed them to be surrounded by a group of extremists.

Great.

This was just fucking great.

“Don’t try to fight them here.”Kara whispers, hand tightening around Alex’s.“They have drones.”

“I can—”

“Alex.There’s a target over your heart.”

Looking down, Alex sees the red dot and feels frustration burn through her very soul.Stupid.She was a fucking moron.

“Hello Supergirl,” someone circles them, the only man present without a face mask.He’s a brunette, about five-nine, stocky.But he looks more academic than athletic.And his skin, probably already pale on a normal day, is ashen and pasty.The guy’s a mess.One on one, Alex has no doubt this would be a much different story.“Let me guess: you didn’t think you’d run into us again?”

“Obviously not.”Kara admits, eyes tracking the drones in the air.“Or I would have packed some diapers.Wouldn’t want you to have another accident Ben.”

‘Ben’ is not pleased.

“My _name_ is Agent Liberty!And _you_ are an alien threat that needs to be contained.”

Kara growls again, taking a minute step forward and then stepping back again and yanking Alex behind her.The spot Alex had been standing is now blackened, smoke rising from a small crater where her feet had been.

Advanced weaponry.

Just fucking great.

“You move again, and she dies.”Agent Liberty smirks, “or do you think you’re fast enough to stop _all_ of us?”

Kara goes quietly after that, so Alex does too.

She uses her spare time to think; not about the distracting emotions that have decided to rare their ugly heads, but about useful things.

Like… wireless electrical grids.

It seems like they get pat down by at least twenty agents, Ben Lockwood not included.

Gross it may be, but it gives Alex some more time.

Useful.

“Supergirl you stand accused of crimes against humanity; thievery; aggravated assault; terrorism; vandalism; destruction of public property; aggravated assault with the intent to kill; _five_ counts of third degree manslaughter—”

“I _did_ not kill those people.”

Agent Liberty shrugs, “maybe you didn’t pull the trigger but you sure as hell were responsible for their deaths.The same way you’ll be responsible for hers.”

He nods at Alex and Kara grows more agitated.

It’s a terrible tell, Alex thinks, if she wants Agent Liberty to do anything _but_ kill Alex.

“Don’t do this Ben.I know your father died but—”

“ **Don’t** talk about him!It was your fault!You don’t get to talk about him!”

Kara actually looks sad for this asshole.“I was trying to help.”

“That’s the thing you _freak._ ”Agent Liberty sneers.“We don’t _want_ your help.We don’t _need_ your help.We want you to die.Do you think you can do that right?Or do you need a manual?”

They do take Alex’s watch, which is rude, but they take all of their gear, so it’s to be expected.

But then they force them to strip.Shaking out clothing in an attempt to find hidden weapons.Luckily Alex has already dumped her most useful toys before the strip, so she’s not too upset about it.When her boots are cleared, Alex is allowed to put them back on, but her clothes are a lost cause.It’s only by chance that she glances up at the same moment Kara is hunching down to put on the bland tissue like clothing the Agents of Liberty have provided them.

That glance is enough to solidify her hatred for the monsters who had abandoned Kara as a child.Running almost parallel to Kara’s spine, is a raised pink scar as wide as Alex’s pinky finger and as long as her forearm.It’s jagged and warped and looks like it had been incredibly painful.

Kara’s a Kryptonian with advanced healing capabilities; the amount of trauma that would have had to be inflicted to that area to cause a lasting scar…

She’s doubly distracted when Kara turns around and she gets a glimpse of a solid six pack of tensed abdominal muscles.

Gods.

Then they’re thrown into adjoining cells and left to their own devices.

Which… amateur move.

“I am so sorry Alex.”Kara says, “I’ll find a way to get us out of this I swear.

Alex hums, tonguing a pill out from the top of her cheek.

“Dox already sent a distress signal to Winn.We just have to wait.”

Alex hums again and taps her shoe against the floor, happy to feel the reassuring heaviness of steel.

“Can Dox hack into my watch?”

“Uh… yeah?Why?”

“There’s an app: Lucy; tell him to run it on my command.”

“Ok…”

Sighing, Alex slumps down, sitting with her back against the wall and legs crossed in front of her.She needs to iron out her exit strategy.

A few minutes later she hears Kara copy her, the blonde’s fingers reaching between the iron bars for Alex’s.

“I’m really sorry.”

“Not your fault.”Alex assures.It wasn’t.Kara hadn’t asked for Alex to have a quarter life crisis over her.She’d done nothing but be herself.“And… what that asshole was saying?Don’t listen to that garbage ok?”

Letting her head roll to the side, Alex allows herself to take in the helpless shrug that Kara offers.The smile that breaks mid formation.

“He’s not _wrong._ I—there was an attack and I couldn’t—” Kara shakes her head, scratching at the bridge of her nose in obvious frustration.“Do you remember when I told you about Krypton?Ben’s dad was there and he… didn’t make it.Ben was only a teenager at the time and he… well he had to watch his dad die.Had to leave him behind.He blames me because… he just blames me.”

“You don’t have to explain it to me.”She doesn’t.Even though Alex _is_ curious, she’s also well passed her quota for Kara taking the blame for stupid shit.Kara had been a _child_ when Krypton exploded.This whole vendetta was only seeming to be more and more petty.

“But—”

“ _Kara_ ; I know that you would never hurt _anyone._ Whatever happened, it was not your fault.”

Kara swallows and nods, but still won’t look Alex in the eyes.“Can we talk about something else?”

“Like what?”

As alone as they may seem, Alex doesn’t think it’s a great idea to share any more information than is absolutely necessary.She’ll be ready if Kara makes a play and she knows Kara will be ready for hers.

But that doesn’t really leave them with a whole bunch of conversation material for a hostage situation.

Kara must realize that too because her mouth pinches in thought and she runs her thumb over Alex’s knuckles.

“Like… what did you mean when you told Vasquez that you were sorry for what happened to them and Maggie?They both seemed fine… Did the Republic do something to them?”

Ah.

Not the… _easiest_ topic choice but Alex will take it.

“Maggie… you know that Maggie’s a lesbian right?”

“Yeah…?”

“Well, Vasquez,” Alex squints unsure of how to describe her friend.“Vasquez loved— _prefers_ girls too but... But they were born with… parts they don’t exactly identify with.They wanted their Senator to recognize that change in the books.”

“Ok…”

Alex smiles at the way this all seems like a non-issue for Kara.She wishes it were as simple as that.“The Republic, as you know, is made up of Senators and politicians from all over the galaxy.Individual planets have their own rules for governing their people’s sexuality and, while Maggie grew up on a pretty open planet, the Fleet is a separate animal.Being different is… frowned upon.”

“But… that’s stupid.”

“I agree.”

Kara shakes her head, blonde hair flopping over her face.“That’s—you can’t _help_ who you love or how you identify.It’s… it just happens sometimes.”

“I know.”

“So Vasquez left?”

“Yes.”

“But… I mean, Maggie is still _in_ the Fleet.Why stay if they don’t accept her for who she is?”

Alex sighs, letting her head loll back so she’s looking at the ceiling.“It’s complicated but what it boils down to is Maggie hates the Sith more than she needs the Fleet’s approval.There’s a movement within the Republic to get more rights for… people with different persuasions but, they can’t make a move until after the war.Maggie is hoping to be here to be a part of that change.”

“And if the war doesn’t end?”Alex shrugs, unsure of that answer herself.“That’s so stupid.And _those_ are the people you want me to trust?”

Chuckling, Alex turns back to Kara, taking in the angry blue eyes and sharp scowl.“I suppose when you put it that way.I’m assuming Krypton was more forgiving of its people’s persuasions?”

“Kryptonians never put much stock in gender.And my people can’t help who they fall in love with more than any other species.We find our :zhao and that’s it.”

“You find your “zhao”?”Alex asks skeptically.

It’s Kara’s turn to shrug but she looks a lot more embarrassed than Alex had been.“It’s… the human term would be soulmates.We see the person and… it just clicks inside of us.”

Oh.

“Oh.”Alex hadn’t expected that.Hadn’t really accounted for the fact that maybe while she was having a crisis over _Kara,_ Kara was happily looking forward to meeting her “soulmate”.Because of course she would be.“That sounds… safe.”

Kara smiles, leans her temple against the wall.“It’s complicated.”

“Right.”

It feels like someone has just pulled the floor out from under her; it’s kind of hard to breathe.Alex pushes to her feet, practically snatching her hand from Kara’s as she grabs the bars of her cell and tries to look out into the hall.

“Can you bend these at all?”She asks, uncaring of who hears what.

“No.Ben uses something that dampens my abilities.I’m as human as you are right now.But don’t worry,” Kara assures, standing next to Alex and reaching for her again, “Winn will think of something and we’ll—”

Alex pulls herself away, stalking to the far corner of her cell and glaring at the wall.Any doubts she’d had about her feelings were suddenly and violently destroyed.She should be celebrating; she _liked_ liked Kara.

Fuck.

Fuck.

She needed to focus.

Focus.

Please god, stop thinking about how much this hurts.

“I have a plan,” she says, propping her hands on her hips.First part of said plan, act like she had been meaning to reveal that instead of tragically floundering for a way to seem _normal_ in the face of her emotional demise.“Can you tell Winn to pass a message on to Lucy?”

“Yeah…”Kara says, voice suspicious.“What do you need me to—”

“Good news!”

Oh thank god!

Agent Liberty bursts back through the doors, a handful of men on either side of him.One of them is carrying a silver brief case and Alex’s head tilts inquisitively.

“You,” he points at Alex, “Can go.A fellow soldier should come to no harm from us.”Liberty’s smile widens when he points at Kara.“But you… well, let’s just say you’ve been found guilty of your crimes.”

Kara rolls her eyes.“By whom?”

“Me.”Agent Liberty growls.

He jerks his head and Alex is pulled from her cell, the men on her arms pushing her towards the exit.Kara starts forward, hands white knuckling the bars as she watches them with mounting panic.

“Where are you taking her?”

“Nowhere.Like I said, she’s free to go.You on the other hand,” Liberty gestures and the suitcase is opened to reveal a syringe filled with a silver liquid.“You have terrorized us for long enough.”

Alex doesn’t even think, she just acts.Her foot stomps hard on the floor, the trick knife in the toe popping out as she launches a spin kick at the furthest captor in her reach.The knife goes through his neck and she yanks it out in time to duck under his friend’s punch.She elbows that guy in the back of the head when he stumbles at the thin air and grabs his blaster.

“Dox!”

The thread in Kara’s suit flashes a brilliant white and in the next second, the remaining men in the room drop, the taser disks that Alex had placed on them prior to their undressing sending high voltages coursing through their systems.

Agent Liberty is the only one who remains standing and, although Alex tries to fire the blaster, the damn trigger won’t budge.It’s stuck.

Though clearly startled by the chain of events, Lockwood obviously realizes his time for action is closing.Alex tosses the blaster at his head, but he bats it away, one hand in Kara’s hair and pressing her face against the bars of her cell.His other hand is reaching for the syringe that is now on the floor.

An agent barrels into the room, seemingly alerted to the distress by seeing his brethren in the hall drop like flies. There’s no time to react and he has a beefy hand wrapped around her bicep within seconds. The pill in her mouth is crushed and swished before she realizes it, and she spits the mouthful of chemicals at the exposed skin of the idiot’s neck.He howls as the acid starts to eat away at his skin, his hands releasing Alex in favor of trying to stem the eruption of blood and melting flesh.

Alex doesn’t stick around to notice.Lockwood, seeing her actions, had panicked and is now seconds away from stabbing Kara with whatever the hell is in that vial.

Way too far away to actually disarm him, Alex does the only thing left to her and tackles him.

She feels her back slam into the ground; feels her fist connect with that stupid face above her; feels the nose break under her fingers; feels the needle press into her; sees Lockwood realize it and vindictively press down on the plunger.

Her whole world erupts in fire.

There are flashes after that.She knows someone throws Lockwood off of her and then someone is patting her cheeks.The slaps hurt like tiny little bee stings.

“…supposed to check in!”

“Winn called us of course!”

“…what were you _thinking_ Kara?”

Alex doesn’t recognize those voices, but she recognizes the name Winn.He was a friend.Kara was safe, she could rest.

“No!”The slaps intensify, “no, no, **_no_**!Alex don’t go to sleep; stay awake! ** _Alex_**!”

Hmmm.

Kara.

She wishes she’d figured out what was happening between them.Wished she’d had a chance to figure that out.

“We have to save her.Diana please!”

“People die Kara; that poison is already at her heart.We need to go before more of those monsters come and **you** die.”

“No!She’s my friend!She’s— _aiahv Diana zhed khap :zhao.Sokao- voikir zhed_.”

“The _human_?!?”

There’s more… Alex hears more whispers but whatever tunnel she’s in is getting deeper.There’s someone playing in her hair.

That’s nice.

Feels nice.

She hopes Kara’s ok.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Before you all get in your feelings please know that this should be updated on Friday so that means you only have to deal with this cliffie for like... 3 days? You got this, as Alex loves to say.
> 
> Alex wakes up and gets a punch in the face by the cupid's hairy ass. Good times.
> 
> I'll skip over Winn and James if you don't mind so I can get to the goods.
> 
> Alex bought Kara a gift!!! And she's picking up on past purchasing habits? Girlfriend behavior anyone? Then Kara smooths things over between Alex and Vasquez and gah. I love these two.
> 
> Particularly when Alex judo chops Kara's hand for trying to knock her out. What a noble little asshole. For anyone who was pissed about some of the people who ditched Kara during the Krypton escape... Alex got a little payback. And then she died.
> 
> So sad.
> 
> No more Alex.
> 
> Died unloved by the girl of her dreams; heart all broken up and torn in pieces; just miserable what happened to her. A moment of silence?
> 
> No?
> 
> Ok. :)


	15. Ch 13: And we will put the lonesome on the shelf

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alex doesn't die.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A longish chapter. About 7k here of well... non action. But good nonaction. This is all an arc, so what I decided to do was post this one and then Ch. 14 tomorrow and then 15 on Sunday or Monday. They're all prepped and ready to go it's just a matter of formatting and what not in between my real job. So we'll see. Definitely everything will be up by Monday night and then we'll be on a two week hiatus.
> 
> You're all awesome.
> 
> Song: You and I- Ingrid Michealson

Alex comes to in small periods of clarity.

The first time she wakes up, she’s screaming bloody murder.She had originally thought the sounds of anguish were coming from someone else but no; that’s her.There’s someone holding her down, inhumanly strong hands pressing down on her shoulders and a curtain of yellow over her vision.Where they’re touching exists nothing but agony.Where they’re not touching is only marginally better.

“Shhh,” she hears, the voice shaky and low next to her ear.“Shhh Alex.It’s ok.You’re ok.I’m here.I’ve got you.”

It sounds like Kara, but she could swear she smells Lucy somewhere.Her nose burns.

The second time she wakes up, she is not screaming.There’s something shaky running over her scalp and when she opens her eyes, she sees Kara staring back at her.Her blonde hair is in complete disarray, her cheeks a blotchy pink and eyes red rimmed and glossy.

“What’s wrong?”Alex asks, and then asks again when her voice doesn’t quite sound how it should.She thinks Kara understands her the second time, but she isn’t sure until a kiss is pressed just above her brow.

“Nothing.”Kara warbles.“I was just scared.It’s ok now.Everything’s fine.Rest Alex.You can rest now.”

Alex doesn’t; she reaches up with one hand, cradling Kara’s cheek and using her thumb to wipe a tear away.

“What happened to your suit?”

It’s a fair question; Kara hadn’t taken the suit off since Alex had met her, but now she’s dressed in a loose t shirt.Alex’s t-shirt.

Kara sniffles and turns her head to kiss Alex’s palm, one hand coming up to hold it against her face.“Nothing; I just needed to take a break.”

“Oh.”Alex feels herself slipping, tries to hold on.“You look weird.”

Kara’s laugh follows her down.Alex doesn’t laugh.‘Good’; she’d meant to say good.

The third time she wakes up she’s crying and it’s Lucy, not Kara at her bedside.It’s a little weird that Lucy looks as much of a mess as Kara had but Alex wisely chooses to keep that to herself.This time she’s much more aware of the nuances of pain racing up and down her limbs.It feels like every single nerve ending in her body is on fire and it’s all she can do to not pass out again.

Lucy calmly wipes her face, fingers curled around her shirt’s sleeve while she cleans the mess of Alex’s tears.

“You’re doing great Cap.Just a few more hours.Hang on for just a few more hours.”

She tries to respond, tries to do anything other than press her tongue against the roof of her mouth and groan in agony.Lucy presses her arched body back against the bed and doesn’t laugh when Alex begins to sob.

“It’s ok.You can cry here Alex.”Lucy murmurs, leaning in closer until Alex is half in her arms.“It’s ok Alex; I’ve got you.You’re good.You’re gonna be fine.”Lucy’s fingers clench in her hair and Alex’s clench over Lucy’s wrist and they just stay there.

Alex has almost fallen asleep again but then she remembers—Kara!That man had been about to stab her with something—there was a golden mask?

“She’s fine.”Lucy murmurs, leaving Alex wondering how much of that she had said out loud.Lucy leans to the side and gestures to the chair in the corner where Kara has curled herself into a ball.There’s a blanket thrown over her and a pillow tucked under her head but even so, it looks extremely uncomfortable.“We’re good Cap, everyone’s safe.You did good.”

Something settles in her chest when Lucy says that and it’s probably because they’ve been partners for years and best friends for longer, that Alex allows herself to share a secret she hadn’t even shared with herself.

“I think I’m falling in love.”

The fourth time Alex wakes up, she immediately knows where she is.She just doesn’t remember how she got there.

It’s only the years of training and teenage adventures that Lucy had orchestrated that allow her to remember the medical ward on Yavin 4 so readily.She’s sure she would have been lost otherwise.They’ve even given her, her favorite bed.

The first thing she does is take stock of her body.On top of not remembering how she got here, she doesn’t really remember a reason for her being here.It seems like a good idea to rule out any broken bones.One by one she eliminates every limb and muscle group as being injured.All told she actually feels pretty ok.

There’s something heavy on her stomach but she can’t really lift her head to see.Symptom one: muscle weakness.

Concussion?

If she hit her head it would explain the difficulty moving and, if she had been out of it for long enough, it would explain her lack of a real headache.

But no… that seems wrong.

She needs to go back to what she remembers.

Where had she been?

The last thing she recalls is insulting Vasquez.Unintentionally of course but insulted none the less.

Kara had embarrassed her?No, not embarrassed per se, defended but in a rather emotional way.Alex’s embarrassment had been of her own making.

So.

Vasquez.

Alex doubts that Vasquez would have actually assaulted her, even with the insensitivity she had shown.

So, what had happened after they had left Vasquez.

It takes a while, but she finally starts to get small bits and pieces; remembers Kara asking her to go back to the ship.Gold masks!!!

The man in the Gold mask!

Shit!

By this time Alex feels well enough to attempt to lift her head again and, although difficult, she makes it happen.

The lump on her stomach is actually a sleeping Kara, her arms wrapped loosely around Alex’s waist and a small trail of drool leaking out of her mouth.

It’s adorable.

Unnecessary, but adorable.

Alex lets her head hit the pillow again and scrubs a hand over her face.Now that she’s got her memories straight, she remembers clearly what had precipitated their near death experience.

She’d been distracted.

By her feelings for Kara.

Which was pointless because Kara apparently had a soulmate out there somewhere just waiting to be found.

Or maybe Kara had already found them, it’s not like she and Alex spoke about things like that.

Alex wishes she’d have asked; it would have been a lot less awkward prior to learning these new and confusing feelings.

But it’s also not like it _matters_ because… Well…This is all… moot.

Sneaking out from under Kara is actually pretty easy; the Kryptonian is a heavy sleeper and Alex really doesn’t want to piss through a catheter.She’s untangled herself from the tubes and the wires in a matter of minutes, making sure to silence the machines tracking her vitals so that Kara isn’t disturbed.

Then it’s off to the bathroom to clean up and then to the lockers to find some new clothes.

After trying several lockers, Alex finally uncovers the standard issued welcome clothing that were given to refugees.The plain cotton pants and shirt feel great after hobbling around in a thin hospital gown trying to keep her backside from being exposed.

She puts on the plain slippers and exits to the main hall.

Where she is of course stopped by Eliza.

Because obviously.

“What in the world do you think you are _doing?!_ ”

Alex doesn’t even try to run.Mostly because she doesn’t think her body would be able to handle it, uninjured as she appears to be, she still feels very lethargic.Eliza, therefore, manages to descend like a Krayt Dragon upon a pack of helpless Jawa.Alex is helpless.

“Oh, you silly girl!”Eliza fusses, one hand moving to check Alex’s pulse while the other pulls down her eyelid.“Do you have any idea the amount of resources we used to keep you alive?”

“I’m… sorry?”

Which is apparently the wrong thing to say because then her arms are full of a crying woman.

“Why would you do that?”Eliza sobs, systematically clutching at Alex and checking her over for further injuries.“You’re all I have left; what would I do if something happened to you?”

“Something _did_ happen.”Alex says, squeezing Eliza as hard as she is able.“And somehow you fixed it and I’m fine.I’m ok mom.It was scary but we got through it.”

Her mother sniffles some more before pulling back and cupping Alex’s face in both hands.They stand there, Alex trying out her best reassuring smile and Eliza searching what seems to be every inch of Alex’s face.

“You are so like your father.”

“Reckless?”

“Brave.”Eliza corrects, “and strong.”She strokes a hand along Alex’s hair, “it terrifies me how alike you two are.”

“You’re not gonna lose me mom.I may be like dad but I’m also like you.”She shrugs, “I’m assuming it was poison right?I made my own antivenom based off of the most common poisons and told Lucy how to access it.Hence: not dead.”

“Your father wasn’t so arrogant.”

“Strong and smart.”Alex says, giving her mother another hug.“The best of both worlds.”

Eliza rocks her for a moment before finally pulling away.“I imagine you want to get caught up with your friends?”

“I was actually on my way to the cafeteria.I’m starved.”

“Well I would imagine so; you’ve been unconscious for eleven days.”

“ _Eleven?!”_

Eliza hums and threads her arm through Alex’s, towing her gently towards food.“There wasn’t much to be done so don’t worry.Your friends brought you here; Mr. Schott finished his computer and started scanning for the star destroyer; and he and Lucy started completing the blueprints you left in your study.”

Alex stops midstep.“Did you read what it was for?”

The last thing she wanted was for Kara to think she had betrayed her in any way.Logically, Kara probably won’t think that given that Alex was apparently unconscious for almost two weeks, but the fear is still there.She’d _just_ gotten Kara to stop being so sad after Clark ditched her, she doesn’t want to go back to sad Kara.And definitely not on _her_ account.

“No.”Eliza thankfully responds, “but I’m a scientist so I recognize that it’s for some sort of healing chamber.I won’t spill your secrets, but I do ask that you be careful.”

Alex chooses not to say anything.As a rebel, lying comes second nature to her but there are a handful of people that she won’t lie to unless absolutely necessary.Eliza is one of those people.

Her mother continues talking, telling her about everything she’s missed.The colony is on high alert, with the arrival of an injured Rebel Commander, everyone is on edge.Plus, news has finally spread that the Sith are building a weapon that can destroy whole planets.It’s a bit of a shit show.

It’s all Lena has been able to do to keep the populace calm and distract them with war preparations.

“If nothing else,” Eliza comments, setting a plate for Alex and not allowing her daughter to so much as lift a finger. “I’d say we’ll at least be ready for a surprise attack.”

Alex grunts but is just grateful when they sit down.Her earlier tiredness has now turned into full on exhaustion.The knowing look her mother gives her does not help.

“Do you think you could help me with a plate for Kara?”Alex asks, spooning up some rice and taking a moment to appreciate the taste of food.“She’s asleep right now and I don’t want her to miss dinner completely.”

Eliza hums and beckons over a droid.“It would do her some good.The poor child hasn’t really left the hospital since you got back.”

“So she _was_ hurt?”

Alex had suspected as much, but she hadn’t wanted to wake the woman up to confirm it.Why Kara would be sprawled over her when she was injured herself just proves that the Kryptonian is too good for this world.

The bemused grin Eliza gives her makes her pause midchew into a slab of beef.

“No; Kara wasn’t hurt.From what I was told you handled those men rather competently.By all accounts, if Ben Lockwood didn’t have that poison, you would have taken out an entire colony of terrorists single handedly.”

“But I didn’t.”

“No, you didn’t.”Eliza shakes her head and gives the droid a food order to go.When she turns back to Alex, she looks concerned again, her hands folding on top of the table a she leans forward slightly.“Kara stayed by your bedside the entire time.We had to put a cot in your room just so she would sleep.I… honey,” Eliza’s smile seems to grow more and more troubled, even as it widens.Alex is reminded of the time M’gann had told her they couldn’t go back for Jeremiah.“Is there something going on between you two?”

“No.”

“Alex—”

“No mom.There’s nothing going on between us.”Her heart is pounding and she’s stabbing at her food a bit more viscously than is warranted but… she hadn’t really anticipated this turn of conversation.It’s caught her completely off guard.“You can stop worrying about your precious reputation.I’m still your perfect little girl.”

Eliza flinches back like Alex had struck her, the knuckles of her hands pressed to whiteness.

“Is that what you think I care about?”

“Mom… just forget it ok?There’s nothing going on between Kara and me.She’s… there’s nothing going on.”

Nodding slowly, Eliza resumes her previous position.“I would just like to say that for the record: I wouldn’t mind if there were.”

“You wouldn’t _mind?”_ Alex scoffs, pushing her plate away.“Gee thanks.”

Scrubbing both hands over her face, Alex pressed the pads of her fingers into her eyes.She’s _barely_ begun to understand what’s happening with her emotionally and now for some reason her _mother_ wants to be… a mom.It’s annoying and inconvenient and dammit she just needs her heart to _chill_ for like five seconds.

Her leg starts jumping of its own accord mere seconds after that thought has crossed her mind.

“Alex… _talk_ to me.And if you’re not ready, say you’re not ready but I don’t want you to feel like you have to hide this.I’m not going to judge you sweetheart; I love you.Unconditionally.”

Alex snorts but Eliza remains at the table.Even after ten minutes have passed.Even after the stupid droid comes back with a metal container filled with food.

She still waits.

And she’ll continue waiting unless Alex gives her something.

Which means she’ll have to deny.

Deny, deny, deny.

“I just…” Fuck. “I don’t want you to be disappointed in me.”

Chancing a glance up, Alex is slightly mollified by the dismayed expression on her mother’s face.Still, Eliza keeps to her side of the small table and Alex is grateful.

“Why in the worlds would I be disappointed in you?”

“You’re a Senator mom _and_ you’re on the council.Everything I do, every decision I make, can reflect poorly on you.”

“I am both of those things, but I am also a _mother_.”Eliza refutes, “and that will _always_ come first for me Alex.I may serve the Republic and her people but that does not make me a _servant._ Your life is your own and I will be proud of you no matter who you decide to love.”

“Mom.”

“Is that Kara?”Eliza asks, leaning even closer, her body straining as if it’s all she can do to not lean across the table and gather Alex into her arms.

“I…”How in the world is she supposed to answer that?This. _This_ was why she had stopped Lucy from questioning Kara that first day.Alex has virtually no mental defenses right now; she’s exhausted.Not just from the fight with the Agents of Liberty and maybe not even completely the poison.But this back and forth with Kara?The tangled web of thoughts and emotions that have just been steadily building since Alex had met the woman?She’s so tired.

And she doesn’t understand it herself.

“My whole life,” she tries, starting from the beginning, the things she knows. “Has been about being perfect.Even before Dad came for me I just—if I was the perfect slave, I got to eat you know?So, I worked hard and then I came here and I still… I got perfect grades; I got my merits in Bioengineering; and when I joined the Fleet, I was perfect at that too.”Alex shrugs, “I was perfect.You designed me to be perfect.”

“I didn’t _design_ you to be anything.Your father and I--"

“I don’t want to talk about it.We’ll agree to disagree.”

“Fine,” Eliza allows, nostrils flared and cheekbones a cherry red.“You were perfect.And now you’re not?”

“I never really was.”Alex admits, one hand going nervously to her mouth as her teeth begin to worry at her nails.An old nervous tick she hasn’t employed since her teen years.“I—we never talked about this because… well it’s weird but… even though I was perfect at all that other stuff, I just couldn’t make anything stick… romantically.”

She glances nervously at Eliza again and is pleased when her mother doesn’t look disgusted.Ok.So far, so good.And… it actually felt kind of good, hearing her thoughts out loud.

Taking a deep breath, she continues, sneaking peeks at Eliza every so often.“I tried and I mean, I got asked out but… I don’t know I just never liked it.Being… intimate.And well, I thought it was me.I thought I might have just been built differently, you know?I’d see the other girls going crazy over their boyfriends or whatever and I just… never felt like that.I never even came close to feeling like that.”She taps her knuckles on the table thoughtfully.“I wanted to feel like that.”

“You will,” Eliza assures, finally breaking the invisible barrier and taking the hand Alex had dropped on the table in her own.“With the right person Alex… you deserve the purest love honey.”

Mouth pinching slightly Alex nods, “even if it’s with another girl?”

“Who do you think wrote the legislation Nia is pushing so hard?”Head snapping up, Alex is almost insulted by the look of pure exasperation on Eliza’s face.“Honestly Alex, the child is barely sixteen.”

“But… the Republic—”

“Is full of cantankerous old men who need to get with the program or be bowled over.”

“Mom!”

“Do you like Kara?”

“I… she has a soulmate.”

“That’s not what I asked.”

“Mom.”

“Alex.”

“I…”Alex shrugs helplessly, leaning on the table herself now and running her free hand through her hair.“Do you remember when I was younger, and you’d tell me about Dad?”

Eliza’s brow furrows and her lips thin in confusion but she nods.

“You told me that… you said that you’d known him for a while but that one day he was just… he was the most beautiful person you’d ever seen.”Her mother squeezes her hands.“She’s so smart mom; and she’s _kind_ and she’s just… she’s beautiful.”Alex ducks her head, shaking it in disbelief as the words begin to fall out of her.“She’s so beautiful.”

Warm hands cup her chin and bring her head back up, Eliza’s smile full of adoration and love.“So are you.”

Alex snorts and wipes at her face.“God mom.”

“You should tell her.”

Alex snorts again.“Did you miss the part about the soulmate?”

“It is my experience,” Eliza says, standing and collecting Kara’s dinner.“That no one with another soulmate would spend as much time by your bedside as she did.”

“She probably just felt guilty.”Alex scoops a bread roll off her half-done plate and stands as well, allowing Eliza to wrap an arm around her waist.

“She didn’t look guilty.She looked scared.”

“Mom…”

“It’s your decision—”

“It is 100% my decision—”

“But if it were me—”

“It’s not—”

“I wouldn’t let this opportunity pass.”Eliza sighs when Alex doesn’t interrupt, nudging her daughter gently.“We’re at war Alex; take it from someone who knows, you never think that the last time is going to be the last time.You think you have forever, but you don’t.You need to seize life and squeeze every ounce of happiness from it that it can offer.”

Mulling that over, Alex eventually just rests her head on her mother’s shoulder, chewing silently on her bread and letting her words sink in.

They make it back to the medical facility uninterrupted.Kara is still asleep, but someone has moved her to lay completely on the bed rather than half off of it, so Alex takes the cot.

Her mother tuts when she winces laying down, finally feeling the expected soreness catch up to her.

“Tomorrow,” Eliza whispers warningly, “you _will_ begin proper treatment protocols.No more sneaking off.”

“I didn’t sneak.”Alex denies, accepting the kiss her mother gives her and pulling the thick blanket up to her chin.Eliza smiles and turns to leave but Alex stops her with a hand in her shirt.“I love you mom.”Because she needs that to be known.For all that they argue she loves her mother very much.

Even when she gets all teary eyed like she’s doing right now.

“I love you too honey.”

~*~

“Ok Alex, reach for the skies.Tippy toes, stretch, stretch, stretch, and down.Slowly.Relax.Shake it out and done.”

The droid beeps its approval and Alex quickly presses the button that will dismiss it.

It beeps another farewell before powering down and Alex sighs in relief.She’d promised Eliza she’d work with the therapy droid but having Kara _watch_ her while she did it had been more than a little awkward.The only reason Alex had even agreed to such a thing was because Kara had been absolutely distraught when she’d woken up and hadn’t immediately seen Alex.Kara had slept straight through most of the night but had awoken somewhere before dawn with all the violence of a gorog.

It had taken Alex _hours_ to calm her down and she wasn’t at all confident that Kara leaving her side right now wouldn’t send her back into another episode.With everything that has already happened, Alex supposes it makes sense.Kara had always worn her heart on her sleeve; when she was happy you knew she was happy, and when she was sad the Gods themselves did weep.There was very little reason that would have changed and the two of them _had_ been getting closer.

If Kara had felt guilty over what had happened, because those men had been after her and not Alex, then Alex could definitely see why she was so sensitive.

It had however put a damper on her morning.

Alex wasn’t really used to caring for people.At least not emotionally.There were always other people around for that or, better, the people she surrounded herself with shoved their shit down like real warriors.The only one who really needed to be “talked down” was Lucy and that was almost always anger.Alex has no idea how to talk someone off the ledge of guilt and pain.

So she tries for distraction.

“Ok,” She gives her back one last solid stretch before stooping to put on her shoes.“What do you say we head back to the ship and check on the Cradle?”

Kara, perched on the bed, hugs the pillow closer to her chest.She’s still in the t-shirt Alex vaguely remembers seeing her in before and a pair of loose fitting cargo pants.The look is completely at odds with her usual clothing, but Alex is still having trouble focusing.Mainly because those are her clothes and seeing Kara in them is _distracting._

“Are you sure that you’re feeling up to that?We can always—”

“Kara, I’m fine.I know that you were scared but I’m all better now.It’s fine.”

“I know.”Kara huffs, standing and gently placing the pillow down, hands smoothing over the fluff distractedly.“I know that you say that but what if something happens?All of the computers said that the substance Ben injected into you was unknown.We don’t know the side effects.”

“Because there aren’t any.The computers also said that I’ve purged most of it from my system already and—”

“Most Alex.Most isn’t all.”

Alex grunts, finishes off her last tie and slowly stands.She tries not to be too cranky, but she _was_ woken up before the sun and has spent a lot of her emotional energy calming Kara down.This wasn’t something that was easy.

“Kara… look, it’s fine.”She holds out her hand, trying once again to be as patient as possible.“We can stop at the cafeteria.I’m sure that they’ve got snacks, maybe even pie.”

“I’m not hungry.”

Shaking her head in exasperation, Alex lets her hand drop.“Ok, then let’s just go back to the ship.We’re pretty much stuck here until Winn gets a location on the weapon anyway.”

“Maybe…”Kara bites her lip, pulling at her fingers before taking a hesitant step forward.“Do you think maybe Eliza should check you over?Just one more time?”

“No.”

“Alex—”

“I said no!I told you I was fine so _back off!”_

She feels like shit immediately after, Kara’s bottom lip wobbling and eyes taking on a glossy sheen.Fuck.That was not patience.That was the polar opposite of patience.

“First of all,” an icy voice interrupts, making Alex jump and, absurdly, clutch at her chest.“You look like your ten seconds away from death or a truly terrible life decision, not fine.And secondly, if anyone is going to speak to my daughter like that, it will be me.”

Even as the small, demure looking blonde woman enters the room, Alex knows she’s not one to be messed with.Whatever illusions her size may grant her, the steel in her eyes makes even Alex take a step back.Seriously this lady was scary.

And Kara’s mom.

Mom?

Kara’s mom?

What the hell…

“You died… I,” Alex fumbles, finger pointing between Kara and the woman who has stormed in to stand next to her.“You said she died.”

Groaning, Kara palms her face but allows the woman to wrap an arm around her shoulder.“This is Cat, she raised me after… well _after.”_

“Oh.”

And then another woman makes her presence known by roughly shoulder checking Alex from behind and coming to stand next to the small family.Alex jumps again at the abrupt arrival of the _very_ tall newcomer.She’s built like a literal warrior goddess, all muscular shoulders, taught calves, and gleaming armor.Her eyes, a blueish gray, are very clearly angry, her black hair falling down around her shoulders like an angry lion’s mane. __

Even if she _were_ still straight Alex would be hard pressed to deny that this woman was anything but gorgeous.

Kara groans miserably and waves a hand at her new friend.“And this is Diana.My… Mentor.”

“Not that she needs to explain herself to _you_.”Diana snarls, her free hand landing menacingly on her hip. 

She sort of looks like the Amazons Alex had read about in her folklore books.The ancient society that allowed no men in but somehow continued to flourish and _thrive.“_ A lesbian’s dream”, Maggie had called it.And Diana’s got the chest armor, the skirt thingy, and the small short sword strapped to her waist. She’s even got armored boots and calf guards.Which explains Kara’s own affinity for the older gear.

“ _Diana.”_ Kara hisses, “please stop.You’re embarrassing me.”

“ _She_ should be embarrassed, talking to a—”

Kara gasps and slaps a hand over Diana’s mouth.“ _Please._ I beg you in the name of Rao himself to please just stop.”

“And I have asked _you_ to behave with a sense of decorum.”Cat says coolly, green eyes watching Alex disinterestedly.“Do you think I would place my hands on a person to silence them?”

Blushing, Kara drops her hands and straightens her shoulders.Which… is an odd look for her.Strangely regal.Incredibly… distracting.

“Thank you for the reminder Cat that was… improper.”Kara keeps her chin up for all of five seconds before Cat nods at her in approval.Then she’s back to her normal, heart-on-sleeve, behavior.“Now would you two please just like… _chill?_ Alex and I are busy anyway, we were going to work on making a body for Dox.”

It’s a fight to control her facial expressions because Kara had literally just annoyed the hell out of her by _not_ wanting to go work on the Cradle.To be fair, if Alex’s mother had been embarrassing her, she’d be looking for every chance of escape as well.

To be not fair… why was Alex suddenly surrounded by very _very_ attractive women?She’d just barely begun to accept that she might be… _different_ and now she’d walked into every males’ fantasy.

“I don’t see how _she_ could help with that.”Diana states, “a woman who cannot control her tongue oft does not have adequate blood supply to her brain.”

“Ok!”Kara yelps, ducking out from under her mother’s arm and darting over to Alex.“We need to go.We’re gonna…bye!”

Alex is then hauled, rather unceremoniously, out of the medical wing and towards the Ebon Hawk.They’ve set her down a lot closer this time which hopefully means that maybe Kara is starting to trust the rebels a bit more.Which is good.It doesn’t mean she necessarily wants _Alex_ but having that trust, even as a third party, feels pretty great.

“I’m sorry,” Alex says when they’re far enough away.Growing up, Alex had been yelled at enough and hit enough to know that sometimes saying sorry doesn’t mean squat.But that’s not the case in this instance because she really hadn’t meant to hurt Kara.“I shouldn’t have snapped at you earlier I’m just… I guess I’m a little cranky.”

Kara sighs, slowing down her speed walking but not releasing Alex’s hand.“After what just happened back there, I’m pretty sure I’m the one who needs to apologize.My family can be a little… much.”

“You don’t say?”Alex teases, laughing and hip checking the woman next to her.It at least coaxes a smile out of Kara which makes Alex feel warm and full.“You never mentioned them.”

“Because mentioning them usually summons them without warning.”Kara’s lips are pressed thin, but Alex can see the mirth in her eyes, “I’d wanted to save you from their presence for as long as I was able.”

“And how long would that have been?”

“Oh, until after the war hopefully.I’d planned on wrapping that up by the end of the month.”

“Oh.Of course.”

Kara bites her lips and ducks her head, but Alex’s mind is on something else.Eliza had said that Kara had stayed with her the whole time and now… Kara had planned on introducing her to her _parents_.Or her foster mother and mentor but still.

Wasn’t that a relationship milestone?

Heart beating uncontrollably now, Alex clamps her mouth shut and tries not to overthink this.This is still new, and she needs to make sure she’s on even ground before she even thinks about taking a step forward.

Luckily, they become engrossed in the Cradle fairly quickly. Alex’s crew, both old and new, are all relieved to see her back and in one piece.Winn in particular gives her a rather lengthy, tearful hug.

“Alright slightly tall guy,” Lucy soothes, gently pulling Winn away, “how about we give the Captain some breathing room.”

Alex sighs and shakes her head.“I am not a Captain.”

“You’ll always be a step lower in my book love.”Lucy’s asshole comment is complimented by her own, quicker hug, complete with a hard back slap.“Welcome back jerk.”

“Did you break my cloning pod?”Alex asks, because all of the emotions in the room are making her feel queasy.

“Yes.”

“Fix it.”

“Already on it.”Winn assures her, leading her to the small medical ward.“I figured out what you were trying to do and man!You’re like crazy smart!”

“ _You_ understood it?”Kara asks incredulously.“I never understand anything she’s saying!”

“Well… I did have to research like a bunch of different theories _and_ hit up some friends on the less savory parts of the web but… yeah.Eventually it all just clicked.”

“He watched a video on one of those tutorial streaming sites.”James admits.“He ditched your blueprints after like 5 hours.”

That sounded about right.

Alex sighs and rolls up her sleeves.Time to get back to work.

~*~

Piecing everything back together is actually pretty simple.The methods that Winn had been implementing had been clearly based on fictional practices, but they were actually on the right track.Whatever video personality he had watched should be proud.

In the meantime, Alex is trying very hard not to murder one of the two idiots across from her.

“She said to hold it higher.”

“I _am_ holding it high!”

“Hon, look just let me—”

“You always do this!You always find some way to call me short!”

“I’m not calling you short!No one said the word “short”.”

“You _implied_ it!”Winn hisses, glaring daggers at James even as his arms wobble precariously under the weight of the vacuum tubing Alex is having him hold up.

The chamber part was completed about two hours ago due to the extra hands she’d had on deck and they’ve now moved on to connecting the tubing.Unfortunately, due to her unnecessary hovering, Alex had sent Kara on a food trip.She had thought it would bring her piece of mind but really all it brought her is the lack of a referee.

Of someone relatively _sane._

She finishes tightening the O-ring around the vacuum’s cap and hops down from the now shoulder height Cradle.Lucy had already remarked on its size meaning Alex was trying to make up for something.

Alex had chosen not to dignify that with a response.

“Look, you made her mad.”

“She doesn’t look mad.”James comments, although he eyes Alex like an explosive device with a timer.

Ignoring them both, Alex takes the wide tube from Winn’s clearly puny arms and hoists it to sit in the u shaped frame she’d had Kara bend into shape before she left.It aligns flawlessly and Alex snaps the other end into the waste container on the bottom of her model.

Perfect.

“Dude, she may not _look_ mad but she’s not even talking to us.She’s clearly annoyed.”

“No.”James says, “she only talks to Kara.This isn’t about us.”

“We should just ask her.”

_Please don’t_ , Alex thinks, shimmying under the Cradle so that she can start on the fixtures of the next and final vacuum.It’s a tight squeeze and she bangs her knuckles hard enough that she drops a curse, but she’s got a good grip a mere moment later.

“Alex?” She grunts an acknowledgement but doesn’t directly answer James. “Are you ok?Do you need us to get you anything?”

“Actually…”She points at the large pieces of plexi glass stacked along the side.“Do you think you can fit those into the frame?Once those are in and sealed, we can start filling it with the amniotic solution.”

“Yeah, that’s not something I ever thought I’d be asked to do.”James mutters, moving towards the wall regardless.

“Do you want to tell us what’s got you upset?”Winn offers, kicking the tool bag closer to Alex and squatting down next to her knees.

“I’m not upset.”

“You seem pretty stoic… was it the Agents of Liberty because those guys just suck.”Winn says.

“No.Not upset about them.”Though truthfully, she is a little.I mean, to go after Kara because she wasn’t human?Because her being an alien somehow made her either a liability or a failure of some sort?They were on _Dragmas_ hardly _anyone_ was human!

…

And Kara had been a _child_ for fucks sake!

“Hmmm, was it the poison?Are you still feeling crappy?”

Alex finishes snapping the required tubing in place, heaving herself back on top of the Cradle to finish the top seal.“Nope.”

“Was it Kara?She said she felt bad about waking you up this—”

“It wasn’t Kara.”Alex interrupts, because: no.Just no.“She didn’t do anything wrong; she had a nightmare and she shouldn’t feel bad about that.Tell her I said it’s fine.”

There’s a brief moment of quiet where Alex wonders if she’d actually lost Winn but, when she looks down, the idiot is looking at her with especially squinty eyes and pursed lips.It takes another second for her to realize Winn is reading way too far into whatever it is he thinks she has said.

“Why don’t _you_ tell her?”

“I sent her to the mess hall dummy.Besides, she’s probably back with Cat and Diana by now so—”

“I knew it!”Winn exclaims, jumping up and nearly giving Alex a heart attack.He points his finger excitedly, shoving James as his boyfriend starts applying the sealant to the newly installed glass.“James!I told you she was upset!”

Realizing that she will probably never know how Winn arrived at this conclusion, Alex resigns herself to just listening to the continued speculation.

“Well,” the large man allows, trying not to mess up his, so far, straight lines, “Cat and Diana would do that to a person.”

“Dude!”Winn cackles triumphantly and Alex rolls her eyes and slides back down to take in her handy work.She isn’t surprised when Winn rests a hand on her shoulder, but she definitely isn’t comforted by it either.“I just want you to know that I feel your pain, or well Kara’s, I guess.Cat was just as bad when she met James.”

Alex nods absentmindedly, mentally going through her blueprints to make sure she’s covered everything.

It _had_ been pretty bad earlier.Cat had very definitively made her feel like a piece of shit for even _daring_ to say an unkind syllable to Kara.Given that Cat is Kara’s mother, however much they don’t share DNA, Alex gets it.Cat had seen Kara go through tremendous—near insurmountable— levels of emotional distress; had probably coached her through many a panic attack and PTSD from her time in space and the destruction of her entire planet.To see Alex, a no name human, tell Kara off for being _worried_?That would have made anyone’s blood boil.

“Don’t worry.”James says, stepping back to take in his handiwork.“It took a while, but they warmed up to me eventually.You just gotta give it time.”

They both give her sympathetic looks, but Alex ignores them in favor of retrieving the pre-programmed tablet she had set up earlier. Alex easily connects the wires she’d had Winn install throughout the cradle, snapping everything into place and bringing up the design program.

“Who wants to be a dad?”She mumbles absently.She’s joking but Winn’s hand immediately shoots up.

She taps some buttons because, even though she doesn’t technically need his DNA, she can still use his physique as a model.

“Done already?” Lucy asks, peeking in on them.

Or maybe Dox doesn’t want to be a ‘he’, maybe they want to be a ‘she’.Or a ‘they’.Alex is definitely working on expanding her vocabulary and she turns to Lucy to try to determine if maybe _Lucy_ would be a better model.Her partner had popped up from seemingly nowhere, leaning in the doorway with crossed arms and droopy eyes.

“Not quite.We’re determining aesthetics right now.”

“You should make him hot.”Winn pipes in eagerly, wiggling his eyebrows comically.“You don’t want to doom the guy to a lame body.”

“With the way the wars going,” James remarks, “you should definitely make sure he’s at least a little athletic.”

Winn nods sagely, “cardio saves lives.”

“It’s never saved mine.”Lucy rebuts with a wide yawn.She steps lazily into the room and looks over the program on the tablet’s screen.“Don’t make the poor thing look like Winn.”

“Hey!”

“I second that “hey”.” James wraps an arm around Winn, but Alex isn’t at all pleased with how he’s looking at Lucy, giving her a quick once over and what she is sure is supposed to be a charming smile.“Winn has excellent bone structure.”

Gross.

Alex removes the design she’d been inputting based on that statement alone.

“So… I’m still gonna need a base model.”Alex says, pointing a warning finger at Lucy. “No one famous Luce; no models or actors or anything.We’ll still have to blend in.”

“Well, choose someone _you_ think is attractive.”Winn suggests, his smile widening with the blush Alex feels growing on her face.

Her level of gratitude for the fact that no one in this room is telepathic is astronomical right now; Alex would very much like to keep the fact that her first thought had gone to Kara to herself.Besides… it’s honestly not Alex’s fault that Kara looks like that.With all the comments her friends had been making, it would probably be globally accepted that _Alex_ is the one who is late to the party.

And it’s not like everyone else isn’t coupled up either.Lucy only didn’t have a partner because she hated how lovey dovey her sister had become when she’d fallen in love.Her string of hookups was from the fact that she didn’t want to be tied down.But Maggie had settled down at damn near the first sight of Kate.She honestly had no idea how the kid had come about, but she remembered how Maggie had chased after her chosen beau for _months_ before Kate had said yes.

And then Winn and James—

Winn and James.

Wait a second.

“Did you two idiots just compare yourselves to Kara and me?”

Winn rolls his eyes.Hard.“Like ten years ago dude.”

Alex feels her eyes widen, her eyebrows jumping at the blasé admission as the previous conversation filters back into her brain. Of James assuring her that it would just take Cat time to get used to her. 

“But…” she shakes her head, brows furrowing now, trying to piece together this new argument.“Kara and I aren’t um… _together_ like you two.It’s not the same.”

Rolling his eyes again, Winn raises a fist and fake coughs into it, the word “yet” clear in his intentions.

Which only serves in making Alex blush harder.

Was everyone aware of her newfound confusion over Kara?Cause that would be embarrassing.

“The whole purpose of you finishing this today was to cheer Kara up, right?”Lucy buts in, sliding her palm over the tablet and effectively closing out of the program.

“Yeah…” It had been, Alex had wanted to take Kara’s mind off the fact that Clark had bailed on her and that Alex had apparently nearly died.Also…

Lately, it’s kind of just been a handy new coincidence that when Kara smiles at her, Alex feels a sudden and complete infusion of warmth.

“So how about you try asking the person whose body it will be what their thoughts on all of this is.”Lucy recommends, tugging on Alex’s ear.“Any act of thoughtfulness is sure to cheer Kara right up.”

There’s something in Lucy’s eyes that makes Alex kind of feel like she can’t trust her; like there’s something more to this ploy, but it sounds solid enough.

Ok.Square deal.

She’ll ask Kara.

Who is taking inordinately long with their meals… maybe Alex could check on her.Should. _Should_ check on her.

Nodding at Lucy, Alex moves to do just that, her foot barely through the doorway when she hears Lucy whispering behind her.

“You have to be subtle with our dear Captain, she’s never been in love before.”

Alex trips, righting herself immediately and hurrying as quick as humanly possible towards the mess hall.

She’s just going to pretend none of that had happened.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whaddaya know Alex didn't die. Huh.
> 
> Still sucks to be her. But at least her medical state made her vulnerable enough to open up to Eliza. Cue sweetness for the mama/daughter moment no one asked for. I really like Eliza :) "Do you want me to talk to Kara for you?" is me as a like anyone. Not just a mom. I'd do it for a stranger because I just want everyone to be in a loving and fulfilling relationship like Corey and Topanga or Will and Jada or Goldie and Russel or Denzel-- ok wait you get the point.
> 
> A lot of that Convo was taken direct from Supergirl, Alex's coming out arc. Still fits. and if I fits, I sits
> 
> We also get a love confession right before that so... I mean I'm not saying I'm cool but...
> 
> So then she snaps at Kara and boy does Cat clap back. You don't mess with Kara. Only *she* messes with Kara. And Diana is obviously not a fan at the moment lol.
> 
> But no worries, Winn and James are there to offer their condolences. Just because things go over Alex's head doesn't mean she won't catch them. A little slow sometimes but she's got this.
> 
> And that's it. This chapter was more of a staging/building thing. We'll get more momentum at 15, the last chapter I post before my vacation and then after that it's just a rough tumble to the end.
> 
> Hope you liked it!


	16. Ch. 14 Remember all the walls I built?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alex learns some stuff, gets in a fight, and gets more cuddles.
> 
> Kaznia finds her missing Rebels.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song: Beyoncé- Halo

Tracking down the Rebel scum from Taris may have been Kaznia’s primary objective, but it wasn’t her only one.Despite her Cisar’s demands that she find and remove the low level threat, he still made sure her plate was full of other innocuous tasks.

Like killing off a Rebel spy.

The colony that Kaznia is returning from hadn’t let go of their _hero_ lightly and she’s got a bit more blood on her suit than she would have liked.

Idiots.

They’d never stood a chance and yet they’d still forced her hand; forced her to snuff out the little resistance they’d managed to put up.

And for what?

The rebel had still died.

Kaznia had still been victorious.

She always was.

She always would be.

Her mastery over the dark side knew no match; there was no hubris here, only facts.

They were fools.

And this?This was becoming a routine.The energy she’d released still tickles her palms, makes her gloved fists clench and unclench at her sides.There’s something unsettled in her chest and it makes her uncomfortable.She was not meant to be like this.Whatever defection was occurring within her would need to wait until she was alone.

The toe of her boot hits the solid metal floor of the hangar and she takes a steadying breath.

Almost there.

Her troops reassemble on the ship, retreating to their designated stations as she gives the order for lift off.They scatter like mice as soon as their steps echo along the halls and galleys, fleeing as quickly as they are able.A sobering thought for some reason.

She feels heavier after today’s ventures, even though she never has before, but she keeps up her stiff façade all the way back to her quarters.Ignoring the few people she passes as they nod and cower before her.

The colonists had done the same.

Before Kaznia had made her presence known, she’d watched them hug and maneuver around each other.Like tiny little magnets repelling and attracting in turn.It’s been a while since she’s done anything like that; people watched.The Cisar had forbid it when she was younger; at least until she had finished her training and grown her mental acuities.

And then as an adult… it had simply served her no purpose.

Why would she need to know about the lives of civilians?

For all the effort that the Legion had put into creating order and peace within their lives, the common folk didn’t seem to be very appreciative.Her lineage granted her certain abilities that made listening to the true sympathies of those in her care extremely transparent.

She’d been able to ignore them before; after all, one could not expect the minds of the sheep to change overnight. But now… something inside of her is faltering.

A weakness she needs to cut out.

Astra is waiting for her in her quarters because of course she is.The woman has been a leech ever since Kaznia had semi-confirmed the existence of her dreams.Of Alex.

“You showed leniency.”Astra says as soon as the door has shut behind them. Her second is standing casually over a table strewn with reports and barely looks up when Kaznia comes in. “You could have killed them all.It would have stopped word from spreading to the rebels.”

A quick glance to the corner of the room reveals Mikhail crouched over his meditative bowl.His head is bowed and he’s doing his best to show he’s not paying them any mind.He’s failing.

“What do I care if the rebels hear of my actions?Any story that comes from here will only sow fear into the heart of our enemies.”

“And is that what you think the rebels will do?Fear you?”

Kaznia bares her teeth.“What else would they do?”

“What else would _you_ do?”Astra challenges, lifting her head and doing that annoying old woman trick that has become her usual course of teaching.“Darth Revan was feared yes but he was also beloved by his followers.They followed him out of loyalty and duty.Because he had a vision that they too could believe in.”Astra narrows her eyes and moves closer, head tilted in genuine curiosity.“What is your vision I wonder.”

Holding Astra’s gaze is easy on a good day but Kaznia is tired and she doesn’t have times for these games.And, though she’ll never admit it, she doesn’t want Mikhail to be listening in on these things.However much she knows she cannot keep him from learning about death and destruction, he was still seemingly innocent to such things, she can’t help but to shield him.Kaznia can’t remember ever being so untouched.So unaffected.

But there’s a scratching at her skull.Like a rodent trying to make its way through her brain.

She doesn’t have time for Astra’s games.

“This is about the dreams.”Kaznia sighs, pressing a thumb to the corner of her eye.“Why can you not just say you wish to discuss the dreams?”

“Visions.”Astra corrects.“And it would hardly be useful if I did all the work for you.”

“You are not doing anything.You are distracting me from my mission.”

“You do not even know what your mission is.You are unfocused.”Pausing, Astra moves back to the desk and shoves a report towards Kaznia.“This is the latest from our spy network.The rebels you’re hunting seem to be making friends.”

Not even looking at the report, Kaznia begins to remove her armor.“And why should that concern me?”

“Because while you seem to be ignoring the Force’s pull, your counterpart seems to be using it.”

Her rage comes hot and heavy, settling in her belly and lancing out to her fingertips.Astra’s in the air before she can spew anymore of her vitriol and Kaznia flings her back, intent on seeing the woman _break._

As usual, Astra simply flips out of her hold and lands lightly on her feet.

As if she couldn’t get any more annoying.

“I have told you often, just because you have mastered the dark side does not mean you should fall to your baser instincts.You are not an animal Kaznia.”

Scowling, Kaznia rips off her cloak and flings in behind her. “I was born of the Force.I have _no_ equal.”

“The Force seems to think otherwise.”

“These dreams are—”

“They are visions and they are a warning.”Astra growls, finally reaching her own breaking point as she takes a warning step forward.“You must take heed—”

“No!”Mikhail jumps in his corner, all pretenses of keeping up his meditation gone as Kaznia loses the fine thread of control she’d been holding on to.“The Force bends to _me!_ I will not be a puppet to its rule!”

A tense silence follows, the sounds of Kaznia’s breaths, harsh and grating, echoing in the space between them.Astra’s face is stone, her shoulders pushed back and stance wide.Ever the soldier.Even now.Even when it is clear that _Kaznia_ is the one in charge.

Then she deflates, her head bowing as she cedes her position once more.It allows Kaznia to straighten, to bring herself and her abilities back under her own power and release the hostility that Astra had incited.

“Go to the bridge.”Kaznia commands, “contact Grand Moff Fisher and have her divert a team.I want these colonists under our control by the next moon cycle.”

Astra’s jaw stiffens but she nods her consent, already leaving to carry out her orders.It would have been perfect had she just left but instead she pauses in front of the door, her back once again a rode of tension.“You may control the Force, my Lord, but that doesn’t mean it doesn’t still speak to you.If you are its master, perhaps you should learn to listen to its concerns.Like I said,” Astra grumbles, sending one last scathing look over her shoulder.“You are not an animal.”

Then she’s gone.

Thank the Gods.

Swiping a hand over her face, Kaznia shakes herself and turns to her young apprentice.“Have you eaten?”

“No.”

“We shall have dinner shortly.Go clean yourself.”

Mikhail nods and jumps to his feet.He’s halfway to the door before he turns and sprints back to her, wrapping his short arms around her torso.“I think you’re a fantastic Dark Lord.”

Then he’s gone too.

And Kaznia is suddenly able to define that nagging feeling in her chest.

She feels very alone.

~*~

As it turned out Kara had been hijacked by her guardians, Diana and Catherine, and was in desperate need of a rescue if her relieved expression was anything to go by.

Alex surreptitiously sends Nia over to interrupt them, telling the girl to give them “the tour” and coincidentally, Kara her freedom.

It works like a charm but then again, Nia just has that kind of personality.

“Thank you,” Kara enthuses behind a mouthful of potstickers, “I love them both, but they can be…”

“Overprotective?”

“Smothering.”Kara decides thoughtfully, eyes on the dimming sky as they head back to the ship.“Controlling.Psychotic.”

Alex laughs.“My mom’s a bit much sometimes too but a wise woman once told me that I should hold onto the fact that she loves me.Make that even out the rest of it.”

Blush staining her cheeks, Kara looks away and shrugs.The Kryptonian is back in her suit, Alex’s clothes discarded for the red, blue and gold of her usual attire.The thread pulses a steady white which usually indicates Dox’ presence.It also reminds her of why she came out here.

“So,” Alex starts, when the silence stretches for too long.She nods at the trays of food Kara is carrying when she regains her attention.“Besides not wanting to starve, I did have another reason for rescuing you.”

Another reason that had not involved just wanting to be near Kara.Alex can still feel the warmth of Kara’s body on hers from the time they had shared a bunk.Like Kara had left behind a physical reminder of her presence.When Alex had woken up in the medical ward, Kara had been there but not in the right position.

It was like someone had removed a Kara sized puzzle piece from her body and Alex wasn’t quite sure how to get it back into place.

“Oh?”

“We finished the Cradle.I left James in charge of filling up the amniotic solution and the computer is doing the rest.We just need to inject the ovum, start the mutation and Dox should have a body in approximately three months.”

Kara’s eyes widen with excitement, her grin splitting her face in half.“Really?!That’s great news.Alex you’re amazing!”

“Um…”It’s Alex’s turn to look away, uncomfortable with the free praise.“Sure.It’s just uh, we still need to decide _how_ Dox will look.I thought it’d be nice to get his input but I’m not sure how to talk to him.Or her.Or they.Whatever pronouns they want to use is fine.”

“You’re adorable.”Kara gushes, somehow ducking in to peck Alex’s temple without disrupting the food or alerting Alex to her intentions.“Dox is a ‘he’.Winn knows how to talk to him too though, I’m surprised he didn’t help you.”

Of course, he does.

That sneaky little asshole.

So apparently Alex _is_ obvious and there are a shit ton of matchmakers in her life.

“Yeah.”Alex grits. “I wonder what he was thinking.”

The Ebon Hawk looms in front of them and Alex presses a button on her watch to open the hatch.

Kara shrugs, “I’m grateful he didn’t; it means you came and saved me and that’s always a win in my book.”

“A girl does what she can.”

“How modest.”Kara flutters her eyelashes, “my own personal guardian.”

Alex had seen Kate do that to Maggie when she was flirting.Was that what this was?Was Kara _flirting_ with her?

What did she do?

Did she flirt back?Was that ok?

… And how did she do it?

“So… um you like potstickers huh?Did you know that they uh, they were invented by a chef who accidentally burned the dumplings.”

“Oh.”Kara blinks, walking up the ramp to the Ebon Hawk with a crinkled brow, mouth bent just so in a frown.“That’s… well they don’t taste burnt.”

Alex nods and avoids all eye contact, mortification flashing through her very being and making her wish for a very quick death.Potstickers?A history lesson on _food?_ That was her idea of flirting?

“Yeah, it’s uh just a stupid legend I guess.”

She leads Kara to the kitchen and helps her set the trays down.

“Well still it’s nice to think about.A happy accident turned into something so tasty, that’s a story I can get behind.”

“Yeah,” Alex agrees, relieved that Kara isn’t running away or worse _laughing._ “Happy accident.”

“I like things like that.”Kara continues.“Like us.”

Feeling her throat go dry and her hands begin to shake with nerves, Alex decides it’s in her best interest to start setting out plates.

“Us?”

“Yeah like… when we met: that was a complete accident but… well I’m pretty sure it’s one of the best things that have happened to me in a while.”

“Oh?”

Kara hums, easily opening the trays and setting them up on the counters so that the table remains free.

“I don’t have a lot of good in my life so having you, and even Lucy… that was a very happy accident.”

“Same.”Alex croaks.This is an in; Alex knows this is an in.This is the part where she tries to get more information on where Kara stands in all of this.If Alex even has a shot.Her mind completely bails at this point and in a moment of panic she slams the last plate down a little too hard.“Uh… So Dox.Um.Do you think you could ask him how he wants to look?”

Smiling, Kara runs a finger up along a piece of thread in her suit.“He’s already sent the mockup to your computer and started the generation sequence.He wants you to know that he’s very impressed with your level of intellect.”

“Um… sure.”

Kara laughs and pecks her cheek before disappearing down the hall to presumably call the others.

When she leaves, Alex slides into the booth and grabs her head, handfuls of hair sticking up between her fingers.

“I… am an idiot.”

The resounding silence of the Ebon Hawk seems to agree with her.

~*~

The next morning, Alex easily finds J’onn.

With the cloning underway, she doesn’t have much else to occupy herself with.Kara has once again been pulled away by her guardians and Lucy is busy trying to get Maggie back on comms.

They’ve both decided that if they don’t hear from Maggie in 5 days, they’re going to ask the council to go look for her.War or not.

Maggie had been digging around for _them;_ keeping her ears out for _them._ There was no way they could just leave her out there. 

So her team is busy and, although Winn has grudgingly grown on her, she’d seen him and James making eyes at each other and had quickly eliminated him as a distraction of any kind.

Besides… this Kara thing is going to drive her insane.History has already shown that not resolving this would just lead to further distractions, which means larger mistakes.The next time they might not be so lucky; the next time any one of her crew might die.Or all of them.

If going to J’onn gives her any kind of clarity she will happily do so if only to spare her team any more pain.

Luckily for her, J’onn is actually cognizant when she happens upon him at the river.She’d tried the house first and had seen it in once piece, a rare occurrence for her visits.

“Did you find God while I was gone?”Alex asks, plopping down next to J’onn’s seated position on the old rotted log along the bank.“Or was it a therapist?Because if you’re asking who I’d prefer, it’s definitely the therapist.”

“You’ve done well.”J’onn rumbles, eyes closed, head titled back towards the sun.His large arms are crossed heavily in front of him and he’s in his human form.Another good sign.“The girl is still alive.”

“Yeah well… not necessarily my doing.”

“I must have missed where someone else rescued her from those terrorists.”J’onn remarks, one eyebrow lifting but not making any other change to his relaxed countenance.

“You must have also missed the part where I didn’t notice we were being followed by said terrorists.”

“You had an off day; no one expected you to be perfect all the time.”

“I do.”

“And that is a glaring character flaw.”J’onn says, laughing easily when Alex snorts.“You made it back safely Alex.Your team made it back safely.You mission was a success Commander.”

Frowning, Alex digs her toe into the pebbled earth at her feet.“This time.It’s a success this time.I… got distracted; I can’t let that happen again.”

“Oh?What distracted you?”

“I…” huffing Alex grits her teeth and bites the bullet.“How much do you know about Kryptonian… relationships?”

“Mating rituals.I used to assist one of the Great Houses; I’d say I know a great deal more than most people.What do you want to know?”

Alex tries not to blush at the fact that J’onn hadn’t even questioned _why_ and plows ahead stubbornly.

“All of it.”

Nodding J’onn begins.“In most history lessons they teach you that Kryptonians had done away with the what humans know as traditional reproduction methods correct?”

“Yeah, they had birthing chambers.”

“I think it important to know that the introduction of the birthing matrix did not eliminate the species’ ability to love.There are a lot of people who will tell you that the Kryptonians were heartless, emotionless beings driven only by their pursuit of knowledge and power.I hope that by now your new friend would have dissuaded you from such ideals.”

“Kara’s different,” Alex says weakly, trying to realign her past knowledge with the evidence that had been presented before her.“I was thinking it might just be a happy side effect of not growing up with her race.”

“She would not have been raised with them even had Krypton survived.”J’onn says, tilting his head forward and uncrossing his arms.“But that is not the point.The point is that the Kryptonians loved; and they loved deeply.”

“I… Kara may have mentioned… soulmates.”

“Predetermined callings of the heart.They believed that there was one true mate for every person; not necessarily their other half, Kryptonian’s were after all notoriously arrogant for believing themselves perfect, but rather the key to unlocking their greatest potential.”

“That’s… a lot of pressure.”

“For some.”J’onn allows, “for others, being the object of such endless devotion was a reprieve from the vacillation of most species.”

“Wait, was that like… an interspecies thing? Soulmates _weren’t_ only found amongst other Kryptonians?”

“I’d hope not; otherwise the inbreeding would have been terrible.”

Alex feels her heart pound within her chest and swallows.Hard.It takes her a moment before she feels like she’s regained control of her voice even if she’s sure J’onn now has a clear idea of what it is she actually wants to know.

“And… does the person know?”She asks, both needing and dreading the answer.“If they’re the “soulmate”, do they get like a feeling or something?Maybe a cool tattoo.”

There’s a small smile on J’onn’s mouth but he doesn’t laugh which Alex is grateful for.

“No.The bond connection is only felt on the Kryptonian’s side unless reciprocity occurs.Until then, it is their responsibility to assure that their mate feels as safe and loved as is possible.When their chosen partner decides that they want to be marked, then the bond can be completed.”

“Marked?”

“A bite.”J’onn glances at her and shrugs.“It’s where the original tales of the romanticized vampires come from.The bite transfers some of the Kryptonian genetic code to the potential mate.Like a virus.”

“Oh.”

“It’s not harmful.”He reassures her, “in fact it helps to allocate some of the inherent Kryptonian traits between the bonded pair.”

“Oh.”That’s… not exactly reassuring.It’s also not un-assuring either.“So it’s like… just all on the Kryptonian’s side right?”

J’onn chuckles, his laughter moving his arms against his chest and making him look a bit odd.“Hardly.Once a bond has been identified, it is up to the human to prove themselves a worthy partner to Rao.A trial of sorts.”

“…you just said this was a multiple species thing.”

“Did I?”J’onn asks, cupping his chin.

Was everyone in her life annoying?“So what would this trial look like?”Alex growls out, fingernails digging into her palms.Might as well go for broke if everyone is apparently aware of something that may or may not even exist.

“When Krypton was around, one need only place their hand on the Orb of Rao and await his approval.”

“And now?”

“Now I think the human needs to get a little more creative.”

A useless supposition in Alex’s opinion and she has to fight back a groan when she overwhelmed with the futility of it all.

When it all boils down to it, Alex is going to have to talk to Kara.There’s no getting around that idea.Unfortunately, that also means that she’s going to have to put on her big girl pants and brave what may inevitably be a kind but firm “no”.At this point, Alex has mostly accepted that she has feelings for Kara.Feelings that move beyond platonic.

Ever since that night they’d shared a bed, Alex holding Kara together while she broke under her cousin’s rejection, it was all Alex could think about.The way Kara had felt in her arms, how fast the Kryptonian’s heartbeat was compared to Alex’s, how warm she was, that smell…

Granted, Alex had been unconscious for a large chunk of that time but still… she wanted to hold her so bad.And those cheek kisses that Kara gifted her with randomly?Alex wanted to be able to return them.Wanted to hold Kara’s cheek and prove to her over and over again that _Alex_ cared about her.She wasn’t sure what that would be worth to someone as kind and perfect as Kara was but… she’d never know if she didn’t ask.

And if she didn’t know…

If she didn’t know she would continue to be distracted.

Knowing, even if Kara said no, would eliminate any further questions.They could continue with the mission as planned.

“It might be helpful for me to mention,” J’onn quietly remarks, “that Kryptonian’s weren’t known for being misleading.Usually when they were interested in you, they wanted you to know.”

Unwittingly, a flash of Kara calling her a “happy accident” goes through her brain.Followed quickly by the time Kara had told her she never wanted to lie to her; Winn remarking that Kara had found her “hot” and Kara nervously admitting to it.

Maybe…

This might not be so hopeless after all.

“Thanks,” she says, standing and dusting off the ass of her pants.“Do you want me to grab you anything from the mess?”

“No.Nia brought over a few containers of soup yesterday; I’ll be fine for a few days yet.”

“On soup?”

“We’re doing a liquid cleanse.”

Alex searches his face for the joke but finds nothing.She nods slowly, backing away and deciding that she shouldn’t question it.

“Of course, you are.Well, if you need me let me know.And don’t forget to call M’gann, you know she worries.”

“About the both of us.”

“Unnecessary: I’m fine.”Alex waves a dismissive hand and turns to leave.

“Alex,” J’onn calls, stopping her in her tracks, “you’re going to need her.Don’t shut her out; if you do, we’ll all lose.”

It’s more of J’onn’s Force mumbo jumbo but Alex nods dutifully.So far listening to J’onn hasn’t led her astray so she won’t stop now.

~*~

Alex’s next stop is back the medical tent, there’s a group of clones leaving as she enters, and they all bow their heads as she passes.

She still hates that.

“You can tell your troops to stop nodding at me.”Alex tells her mother when she reaches her office.“It wigs me out.”

“I’m sorry, I’m not hip too this new lingo.”Eliza responds without looking up from her computer screen.“What exactly is “wigs”?”

“You’re the worst.”

“And you sound particularly easy going today.To whom do I owe my gratitude?”

Eliza finally spins in her chair and gestures to the seat next to her desk for Alex.

Trying not to roll her eyes, Alex accepts the offer and sits down.“We finally got those blueprints built and Winn’s stupid computer is about a quarter of the way through in cracking Brainiac’s code.We’ll have an exact location in a matter of days.With how big that thing would have to be, it’s not like the legion would be able to hide it.”

“And you think you’re ready?”Eliza asks, brow crinkling and hand reaching out for Alex’s.“I know you hate when I fuss but… well this _is_ a pretty important mission.”

As much as Alex wants to be angry and indignant and all of the other emotions that Eliza usually stirs up in her, she can also sees this for what it is now.Eliza has _always_ been a scientist first; she’s broken boundaries and made discoveries that most in her field would never have even thought existed.She’s an innovator in every sense of the word.

But she is also very much a mother.And that means that she nags, and she needles, and she fusses and yeah, Alex hates it with a passion.And it’s not like she only mothers Alex either.There has been many an occasion in which Eliza will see some youth making what she has deemed a “bad decision” and has stepped in.Whether that be through mentoring, scolding, or just offering them some freshly baked desserts, her mom has always been someone that cares.Wholeheartedly.

And she protects the entire colony with a fierceness that would send even the Sith running.

So no Alex isn’t alone in the mothering bit and she still gets overly annoyed at times when Eliza mistakes protection for controlling.

But seeing the way Cat and Diana had descended on Kara… Alex is kind of thinking she got the better deal.

“I do hate when you fuss.”She confirms, instead of starting a fight, “but I also know that you worry.This _is_ an important mission and around here important translates to life or death.It’s completely reasonable that you worry.”

Eliza’s eyes are very suddenly full of tears and she squeezes Alex’s hand in her own.

“You’re so much like your father sometimes.I don’t know what I would do if I lost you too.”

Alex shakes her head.“You won’t.I have a lot I want to do mom; I’m not going down without a fight.”She shrugs, trying for a grin. “It’s like dad said: “demons run, when good men go to war”.”

Eliza rolls her eyes and wipes at her face.“God I always hated when he said that.You know he got that off a—”

“—candy wrapper.Yeah, you told me.Many times.”

They both laugh and Alex squeezes her mom’s hand again.

“I’ve got this; but I will need your help convincing the council to send someone to check on Maggie.She hasn’t checked in in a few days and we’re getting worried.I’d rather have the timeline of a possible rescue op discussed while I’m here than when I’m gone.”

Eliza’s brow furrows again.“When are you leaving?”

“Tomorrow morning hopefully.Someone got a look at the Ebon Hawk on Taris; it’s probably nothing but I’d prefer not to lead a Sith patrol to the heart of the rebellion.”

“I hardly think they could find you with all of our deflectors up.”

One of Eliza’s inventions: a series of satellites spread around Yavin that worked as a cloaking mechanism.It made it near impossible for anyone to reach the planet unless they had the exact coordinates or broke through the grid.Two very unlikely options.

Still…

“I’d prefer not to take any chances.We’ll resupply and then jump around until Winn’s program nails down a location.”

“As long as you stay safe.”Eliza warns, “I’m an old woman.Think about what you hurting yourself would do to your mother.Look at these grey hairs!”

Alex rolls her eyes.“Yeah, you’re a regular old crone now.”

Eliza hums and pulls Alex up so she can properly hug her.“Before you run off to save the world I would also like it to be known that you were not an experiment.I know you still have some… concerns about your past but Alex… every grey hair that I have gained since then has been well worth it. I love being your mother.”

“Being your daughter’s no snooze fest either.”Alex allows after a brief moment of hesitation.Eliza doesn’t share Alex’ social anxieties when it comes to emotions so sometimes she just spews love like a goddam water hose.“You’re cool.”

“Thank you.”Eliza chuckles, pulling back just enough so she can cradle Alex’s face in her hands.“I have worked very hard to be considered ‘cool’.”

“Yeah well… don’t let up.I hear the trends change every five years.”

“My beautiful girl… do you want me to talk to Kara for you?”

And just like that all of Alex’s good feelings about her mother disappear.“ _Mom!_ Seriously?No. Just stop!Do _not_ talk to Kara, I’m serious.”Eliza smiles wider and pats her cheek before releasing her.“Mom!I’m serious! _Mom!”_

~*~

The council is of course not as concerned as Alex would have hoped.But, having a council member in her corner helped sway things to their side.Besides, for all that she was a grumpy elf, Leslie Willis had a soft spot for troublemakers.

And Maggie was a clear favorite of hers.

Leslie actually wasn’t much older than them.About ten years if Alex remembers correctly, but the General had been crucial in winning a select few battles that had given the Rebellion the edge they needed to avoid extinction.Leslie was one of the last known Jedi; with powers over Force Lightning that had not yet been seen.

When she’d been training them, Maggie may or may not have had a little crush.

Leslie may or may not have dabbled in said crush.

Alex hadn’t asked and neither party had ever spoken on the rumors surrounding them.

It stood to reason that Leslie wouldn’t want to leave Maggie to rot.

The council agreed to wait for word for two weeks before sending out a recon group to Maggie’s last known location.

It was long but the original proposal had been nearly triple that.Alex would have to take what she could get.

“Tell me if you have any dreams about Maggie.”Alex requests of Nia as she heads back to her ship.The younger woman had skipped over to her as soon as Alex had emerged from the council chambers and started chattering her ears off.“I know you can’t always control what you see or even accurately interpret it, but I need to know anything you get ok?”

“Aye, aye Captain.”

Alex stops and turns to glare at her.“Did Kara teach you that?”

Nia grins innocently and bounces on her toes.“I overheard her and Lucy laughing about it.They were right the look on your face is priceless.”

“I’m a Commander.”Alex says acerbically, turning and continuing her brisk pace.“Not a captain.”

“You realize that the more you tell people you’re not a captain, the more they derive pleasure from referring to you as a captain.”

“Assholes.”

Nia laughs and loops her arm through Alex’s.“Just so you know, I think you’re the very best Commander Captain in the fleet.I mean you almost _died_ and yet here you are, ready to just go back out there and kick ass.”

“Well someone’s got to make sure you still have a roof over your head, right?”Alex pulls her arm away so that she can ruffle the top of Nia’s head.

Swatting her hand away, Nia glowers at her.“I hope you know that you are now my _second_ favorite.”

“Oh?And who’s your new favorite Lucy?”

“No.”Nia shudders and shakes her head.“Captain Lane is nice and all but she’s like… really mean.”

It’s Alex’s turn to laugh.“You can’t be nice _and_ mean that doesn’t make sense.”

“I don’t know.It’s just her face I guess.”Nia smiles and Alex chuckles, happy with the easy conversation.She’s got a lot going on in her head, but Nia has always been a good reminder of why she’s doing what she’s doing.“Kara is my real new favorite.She’s _so_ cool.”

Chest warming, Alex chooses not to comment and just listen to Nia launch into a full-blown speech of Kara’s “awesomeness”.Her words not Alex’s.It’s not like Alex disagrees with anything she’s saying though.Kara _is_ pretty awesome.She can fight really well, she’s insanely smart, she’s funny, compassionate… 

It’s a little ridiculous how perfect she is.Any “flaws” she might have are completely forgivable.Weirdness is after all, not a disqualifier for Alex.

“I’ll make sure to get you the pin: “Kara’s #1 Fangirl”.Do you prefer red or blue?”

Alex barely moves when Nia swipes at her, sidestepping just so to catch Nia’s wrist, and press her hand back into her forearm.She releases her immediately but it’s still a good lesson.

“You never attack—”

“—a more experienced opponent.I know!”Nia complains.“But you were being a jerkface.”

Smiling, Alex walks backwards onto her ship and waves.“I’ve been told it’s one of my better qualities.”

Nia pulls down her eyelid and sticks out her tongue, blowing a raspberry of epic proportions.

~*~

The next few hours pass in a blur.

Alex makes sure that everyone is aware of the current game plan; verifies with Lucy that they’re fully stocked for the next leg of their trip; and makes James carry in multiple bags of food and jugs of water.

Kara offers to help him, but Alex stops Winn before he can join his friends.

They’re going to need him to force every ounce of computing power out of his Superchip as possible.The sooner they find the weapon, the less likely it is that whoever is chasing after them will find them.

She’s only halted when Diana arrives back on the ship and pulls her aside.

“We will spar.”The woman declares, her long brown hair flowing freely around her shoulders.Alex kind of wants to tell her to pull it up but Diana doesn’t seem like the type to enjoy such recommendations.“If I am to trust you with my charge, I will need to be assured that you can fight.”

“But you already said I could fight.”

“Kara’s guardian has pointed out that that may have been a fluke.I can take nothing on chance.”

“Yeah. Of course.”Alex very much does not want to do this.But also…. “I thought _you_ were Kara’s guardian.”

“I am but her mentor and trainer.Catherine is the one who raised Kara and Winn.”

“And I have told you many times to stop calling me Catherine.”Cat says, coming from around a corner and glaring at Diana.She’s changed out of her power suit for… another power suit.Did this woman have clothes that weren’t glamorous?And what exactly had she been planning on doing in those shoes?Stabbing someone to death?

As Alex is distracted by Cat’s wardrobe, Diana rolls her eyes.It’s very Kara-esque and a little freaky.

“I will not refer to you as Ms. Grant.Not in public.”

“Okay.”Alex interrupts before the woman can expand on what she is willing to call Cat in _private._ “So spar, right?Time limit?”

Diana tilts her chin, considering for a moment before nodding resolutely.“5 Minutes.1 weapon, no lethal hits.”

“I’d prefer not to damage my ship.Outside?”

It isn’t until she’s shrugging off her jacket that Alex stops to consider why she had agreed to this.Diana had come to her asking to spar to prove her ability to protect Kara.Alex had barely even questioned it.A part of her had even been offended by it.She had, after all, nearly sacrificed her life for Kara’s back on Dragmas.For anyone to say that she wasn’t fit was a severe insult.

One she apparently needed to rectify.

Diana pulls her sword, a large bulky thing with a blade the length of her whole leg, but leaves her shield strapped to her back.

It’s a terrible way to enter a fight; J’onn had told Alex many times to never go in with something to prove.But, with the way she’s been feeling, the confusion over Kara and the anger over what had happened to her, what _was_ happening with the war…

Alex may have technically won that fight with the Agents of Liberty, but she hadn’t really been present for the aftermath.

She’s just a little tense is all.

Diana circles her, Alex holding the pommels of the swords strapped to the small of her back with either hand.She doesn’t follow Diana’s hunt, only focusing on emptying her mind.Her fights have never been about her opponents, they have always been and will always be about her.

When Diana feints, Alex steps back, eyes tracking the woman’s waist.Diana is _fast_ and Alex has to take a double step back to avoid her next swing.

Eye narrowing, Diana lazily swings her wrist in a circle, her sword a silver blur in her hand.

Right.

No more playtime.

One of Alex’s swords is out and lying flat along the back of her forearm, catching Diana’s overhead attack.The other swipes at her ribcage, landing a solid blow to Kara’s mentor and making the woman disengage.

Diana raises her eyebrows again, sword twirling idly as Alex resets her position.

This time when Diana attacks she has no tells.Everything after that is pure instinct.

~*~

“I am not happy with you.”Kara murmurs, laying an ice pack gently across the back of Alex’s shoulders.“I’m used to Diana needing to honor everything to death, but I would have thought you would have had more sense.”

Hissing as the cold bag makes contact with her skin, Alex tries not to be to grouchy in her reply.“It’s not like I could have said ‘no’.”

“Why not?”

As reasonable as that question is, it’s not one Alex feels very confident answering.Somehow, she doesn’t think that telling Kara that she _had_ to fight Diana to prove to herself and everyone else that she was deserving, would go over very well.She’s known the blonde long enough now to know that Kara didn’t measure anyone’s worth solely on their skills with a sword.

But Alex had spent the majority of her life honing her skills as a soldier and a scientist.She hasn’t ever needed to really try to be a _person_.She’s not even really sure what that would look like.Being a normal civilian as just herself.

“I’m sorry I disappointed you.”Is the answer she finally settles on, but Kara’s sigh lets her know it’s _still_ the wrong answer.

“Don’t do that.Don’t shut me out.”Kara ties the last ice pack around Alex’s calf, finally finished treating the bruises that Alex had stumbled back onto the ship with.She’d started fussing the minute she had seen Alex and had dragged her to her bunk for proper treatment.To be fair, Alex had _just barely_ lost, if anything Kara should have been worried about Diana.Had Alex not just been coming out of the hospital, she’s pretty sure she could have landed quite a few more blows.

“Diana is an Amazon; her life span is probably triple that of a human’s.”Kara continues, “she’s been training since before either of us were even born.I’m not disappointed in you Alex, I’m worried.”Kara smooths a hand over Alex’s back, her voice deepening to a grumble.“I’m disappointed in Diana for sure.She had no right to challenge you like that.”

“She was worried about you.”

“She doesn’t need to be.”Kara sighs and nudges Alex’s ribs, “scoot over.”

“Why?”Alex asks, even as she moves to do just that.

Kara fits herself in the space Alex had just created but it’s uncomfortable… having Kara closer to the door.

Although her body is vastly unhappy with her decision, it’s still fairly simple to push herself up, climb over Kara, and, wrapping an arm around her waist, swap their positions.Kara grunts when Alex moves her but doesn’t protest, choosing instead to chuckle and raise a hand to Alex’s hair.She’s smiling and her eyes are so blue this close up; sparkling.

“You worry too much.”Kara murmurs, her voice and the feel of her fingers sifting through Alex’s short bob, enough to make Alex drowsy.

“What are you doing?”She questions again.

Sighing gently, Kara moves closer until she’s almost under Alex, her free hand pulling Alex’s arm tighter around her waist.“I’m stroking your hair.Because that’s what you like done for you when you’re hurt.”

Alex’s lips tick and Kara raises a hand to trace around her mouth.

“I like it when you smile.”Kara confesses, “you look so beautiful.”

That makes Alex open her eyes, her gaze immediately latching onto the dark blue of Kara’s.It feels heavy, this moment, like the slightest movement will break them apart.Alex doesn’t want that; she’s not sure what’s happening but she knows that she likes the way Kara feels against her right now.She doesn’t want to scare her off.

Finally, Kara smiles, leaning up slightly to press her lips to Alex’s temple.

“Rest now, my brave champion.You’ll feel better in the morning, I promise.”

And Alex is tired enough that she listens, closing her eyes again and sinking back into her pillows.Right before she drifts off though, she can swear she sees Kara’s eyes glow.

It’s something she’ll have to remember to ask about in the morning.Along with whatever is happening between them.Because Alex may not know a lot about relationships, but she’s pretty sure that what they’re doing right now wouldn’t be considered platonic.

It’s fine with her.She’s also pretty sure that her new dream of kissing Kara wouldn’t be very platonic either.

~*~

It takes Astra longer than usual to answer to her summons but Kaznia decides to allow the transgression.After all, it had been through Astra’s recommendation that she now had the missing piece to her puzzle.Her second’s face is impassive when she enters, hands placed solidly behind her back while she awaits her orders.

“You requested my presence my Lord?”

“Prepare the troops.”Kaznia commands without any fanfare, “I want a full contingent of Storm Troopers and a battalion of droids ready to mobilize by dawn.”

Astra frowns, her posture loosening as curiosity overtakes her.“My Lord?”

“I’ve found our Rebels.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So we start off with Kaznia and Astra. Astra's trying to convince Kaz to actually heed whatever dreams she's having and Kaz is just like nah. Which appears to be their first real conflict and... yeah. Love Mikhail, such a gem.
> 
> Then Alex attempts to flirt and well... not very successful but it doesn't seem to matter to Kara. Pretty sure everyone but Alex can see that Kara's been smitten since day 1.
> 
> But then we get some insightful information from J'onn on Kryptonian soulmates and it seems even he's hinting at something Alex. Seriously girl do we have to hit you in the head?
> 
> Another Eliza and Alex moment as they go over the details of Alex's departure. Apparently Jeremiah got that saying from a candy wrapper because why not? Lol, it makes perfect sense to me and gives the character back some of his fun post mortem. :)
> 
> "Do you want me to talk to Kara for you?" is me as a like anyone. Not just a mom. I'd do it for a stranger because I just want everyone to be in a loving and fulfilling relationship like Corey and Topanga or Will and Jada or Goldie and Russel or Denzel-- ok wait you get the point.
> 
> Anyway, then Diana challenges Alex who is fresh from the hospital to a duel and yeah. Alex loses. For anyone curious, Alex can technically use both of her swords because they count as a set which fits the one weapon rule. If anyone's ever seen the King Arthur movie with Keira Knightly, think Lancelots swords. I love those things.
> 
> Then Kara lectures Alex and cuddles her and uses her words back on her and gah. Enjoy the last of this smoosh because next chapter is the mini cliffie… or major cliffie depending on how you see things but I think it's just an entrance into the second part of the story. A transition if you will. But it DOES get Violent so please be forewarned.
> 
> Alright, enjoy.


	17. Ch 15: Don't turn away now

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Danger Will Robinson; Danger.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Battle chapter. Violence, death, swordplay, lightsabers, lightning, death, oh no, boobie traps, booby traps?, whatever the spelling is, lotsa fighting, like the whole chapter is fighting, nothing gorey, just like a PG fight until like the end. I don't think it's that bad but hey who knows? I have a high violence level of tolerance.
> 
> This is the last one for 2 weeks so soak it in and remember... we're all friends here.
> 
> Song: Warriors- Imagine Dragons but the slowed down female cover from LoL

Alex is awake in a second.Nothing in particular had stirred her from her sleep but when she opens her eyes, Kara is propped up on her elbow next to her.

There’s a strong sense of ‘wrong’ in the air that has her moving before she’s even fully processed the fact that she’s awake.

“How many?”She asks, sliding from the bed, the now water filled ice packs dropping noisily to the mattress.

“A lot.”Kara whispers back, taking another second before following Alex’s lead and beginning to dress.For Kara it’s a lot simpler since she sleeps in her suit, all she needs to put on is her armor and boots.She’s dressed before Alex in either case, and she uses the seconds available to her to raise her wrist and tap her chest, the white stitching in her suit beginning to glow.“Dox, you have the ship.”

Alex doesn’t even argue that, grabbing her weapons and slinging them one by one into their proper places.Her next moves will require complete stealth.It will require her to trust Kara in a way they haven’t really had to deal with before.

Normally it would just be Lucy at her back but now… it might be a good thing that she has backup.

Holding her boots in her hand, she makes her way to the roof of the Ebon Hawk.

“We can leave Alex.”Kara whispers, again following Alex’s lead and keeping her shoes in hand to silence the footsteps.“Maybe if we leave, they’ll—”

“They won’t.They’ll torture the information out of the people here on where we were.We need to wake up the camp.How far out?”

Kara shakes her head.“A few hundred feet.”

“Do you have that magnet thing you used the first time we came here?”

Kara digs into the bag at her waist, nodding a second later.“Yeah.”

Alex sticks her head in Lucy’s dorm, sees that her friend is already up and making out with some random dude and almost ducks back out.Unfortunately, the fate of the galaxy outweighs Alex’s discomfort.“I need you Major; we’ve got incoming.Send out the alert.Stormtroopers.”

Pushing the guy off of her, Lucy jumps off her bunk stark naked and Alex quickly diverts her gaze.“How many?”

“A lot.”Kara repeats.

“I can’t work with that kid.”

Kara closes her eyes for a moment, mouth pursed as she concentrates.When she opens them again, she seems surer.“Two hundred and fifty storm troopers.Maybe a hundred droids?It’s harder for me to count machines.”Her lips purse, cheeks paling further as she tilts her head, eyes widening.“And… two Sith.Powerful.We should—”

“We’re not leaving.”Alex repeats firmly, nodding at Lucy.

She can’t think about the odds right now; the entire council is here—that will have to count for something.

She opens her mouth to speak again but Lucy beats her to it, squinting up at Kara as she pulls on her boots.“How do you know they’re powerful?Or Sith?That’s not something you can hear Kara.”

The observation, obvious though it may be, still hits Alex in the gut.Especially when Kara’s lips thin and she takes an uncomfortable step away from them.More secrets.

“We don’t have time.”Alex finally says, watching Kara as she says it.“We need to move as quickly as possible.Are you on our side?”

Kara’s jaw clenches in anger but she nods.Unfortunately for her, Alex doesn’t care if she’s offended right now.She needs to know she can trust her.

Everything in her is telling her she can trust her.

Fuck.

“Lucy I—”

“I’m on it.”Lucy says, pulling a shirt over her head and grabbing her blaster.The man in her bed is looking at them like they’re crazy.“I’ll get word to the council.”She pauses in the doorway to glare at Alex.“Don’t get dead.”

Nodding, Alex allows her to pass and points a threatening finger at the guy.“Don’t touch anything.”

He holds his hands up in surrender and Alex leaves him to his own devices.If he messes with her ship, she’ll slice off his balls.

“What’s the plan?”Kara asks following Alex up the ladder to the hatch that leads to the roof.

“You see a bad guy you put him down.”Alex says, squinting into the barely there sunlight.Shame that the sunrise will be ruined with bloodshed.Crouching on the roof, Alex pulls out an adrenal shot, thumb hovering over the injector as she turns to take in her partner.“Kara, I get that you don’t kill but these guys _will._ They’re not going to go easy on you just because you think their lives are worth something.”

“I know.”Kara says, cheeks pale except for two spots of red under her eyes.“I know.”

“You can stay on the ship.”Alex offers, eyes on the tree line now and mentally mapping her footsteps.“No one will think any less of you.”

“I will.”

Alex nods, tying the laces of her boots together and flinging them around her neck.She’s got a blaster on either thigh, her swords at the small of her back, her rifle over her shoulders, and her daggers hidden along her body.

She’s as ready as she’ll ever be.

Zipping up her jacket, she carefully steps off the Ebon Hawk onto the sturdiest nearby branch.She’s thankful when the tree doesn’t so much as flutter and moves along to the other branches until she’s at least fifteen feet from the Ebon Hawk.

Kara follows her, crouching down behind Alex when they make it to the last tree.Handing Kara her blaster, Alex points at the energy gauge.

“It’s fully charged.It should last you about five thousand shots.”

“Alex—”

“This is the non-lethal setting.”Alex continues, showing Kara the basics of the weapon before releasing her completely.“They’re stunners; you won’t kill anyone.When they break the tree line, you use the magnet, get their weapons, and then run like hell for the camp okay?Help with the evacuations. Find my mom, she’ll tell you where to go.”

Kara looks from the weapon back to her, her head shaking slowly.“Alex…”

“Stay alive ok?” Following her instincts, Alex leans forward until her forehead presses against Kara’s, her hand circling the blonde’s neck to hold her in place.“That whole duel with Diana will be a lot less bragworthy if you wind up dead.”

Sniffling, Kara nods.“You too.Promise me I’ll see you after.”

“I promise.”Alex says, releasing Kara and climbing down the tree.

It’s the first in a long line of mistakes she makes, leaving Kara alone.

~*~

Growing up, Alex had been a tree climber.It had driven Eliza insane but for Alex, the freedom of being able to escape the adults had been worth it.

She’d loved hiding in branches and swinging around the treetops, uncaring of the search party hunting for her below.

Back then, she’d thought it was magic that made moving through the trees so easy; that the branches would move to meet her. As she got older, she realized it was just the lack of human interference that had allowed the trees to grow closely, in clumps that let their branches tangle together.

For the experienced climber, it was like walking on an oddly shaped floor.

For Alex, it was just another day on Yavin.

The first handful of stormtroopers are decapitated by a solid strand of woven Yeti hair.Strong enough to slice through armor, but thin enough to be invisible to anyone not expecting it.In the rising sunlight, Alex can just make out the beads of blood that cling to the thin strand.

Fun fact: storm troopers had height requirements for being able to fill out that uniform.

There’s a flurry of whispered shouts amongst the invading troops.About seven troopers were killed and another few injured in that initial attack.Alex doesn’t see the Sith, but she trusts Kara.

If she’d said they were here, then that meant they were here.

It’s none of Alex’s concern at the moment.

Her job is to take out as many of these assholes as possible before they reach the camp.She needs to give Lucy and the clones all the time possible to get the civilians to safety.It’s just going to suck buying them that time.

There’s a short moment of utter confusion as the troops reassemble, obviously taking the initial attack as a sign of a booby trap rather than a preliminary assault.They reform their line and proceed, but Alex can see that their attentiveness has increased.They’re wary, searching.In their minds it would be reasonable for the Rebel forces to have implemented security protocols.

They would be correct.

Twenty more storm troopers are swallowed up when they initiate another trap; a plank about the breadth of a ship’s hangar door, perfectly balanced to only flip over when it reaches a certain weight capacity on either end.The doomed storm trooper’s yells are swallowed by the ground as the wood cartwheels, the forest floor muffling the sound of a detonated bomb.Nothing to show that anyone had been there except the disturbed leaves that they had left behind.

Alex moves quickly, using the noise and the distraction as an opportunity to drop magnetized charges into the troops below her feet.She moves silently and is careful not to disturb the branches too much lest any leaves fall and alert the enemy to her trickery.

By the time she has made it a little over halfway through the still sizable group, they have once again reassembled.Breaking off into smaller groups so as not to all be picked off so easily.

Alex waits until they pass her.It’s a dangerous gamble to be sure but she’s also betting on the fact that an attack from the rear will be a whole lot more deadly than an attack from the front.

Here’s to hoping.

She slowly turns the dial on her watch, waiting patiently until they’re about fifteen feet in front of her and then tapping the watch face.

A surge of electricity flows through the droids in the party, the charges that had been dropped on them overloading and frying their main boards.Inadvertently, they also serve an added bonus of injuring some of the troopers who are a tad too close to their counterparts.A quarter of the droids are destroyed, collapsing where they stand as loosened parts go whizzing across the field.

The troopers who had been burned scream in pain and Alex uses that moment to begin firing her blaster.She takes out the two leading troopers easily, the guys who had been calling the orders.

Then she ducks, laying low in the leaves and inching her body along the branches until she’s reached her predesignated spot about five feet to the side.

Predictably, the troopers point at her last location, but by the time they’ve gotten a clue and started to return fire, she’s already at her rifle.The weapon is heavy in her hand as she uses the scope to pick off three more leaders.

They regroup again and Alex swings the rifle over her shoulder, hurrying away from the location as more blaster fire follows after her.

Shots from in front of them pull their attention and Alex knows that Kara’s now in range to begin her own attack.

The storm troopers fire on the tree where Kara is, Alex releasing three frag grenades into their midst and pulling their attention again.

Picking off another handful of troopers buys Kara enough time to deploy her own magnetized weapon, the blasters tearing free of the leading troopers’ hands and landing on the metal plate which Kara quickly pulls up to her.

Alex jumps from the tree, landing on the nearest soldier’s neck.It cracks under her knees, her dagger imbedding in the foot of another to hold him in place so she can use his body as a human shield.She shoots two more in the face, her other hand redirecting her human shield to take more blaster fire.

Kara is still shooting from the tree, so Alex drops a plasma grenade and takes off.

It blows just as she gets clear and the screams of the men behind her would have been enough to wake up the camp if the call hadn’t already gone out.

Good.

Kara meets her at the base of the tree, still firing to cover Alex’s retreat, but turns and runs with her when Alex reaches her.

“Down!”Kara yells, tackling Alex around the waist just as a beam of concentrated red light arcs above them.“Shit. _Shit!_ Alex, we have to go!We have to—”

Whatever she’d been about to say is cut off as the Clones finally arrive on scene.They return fire to the troopers, easily taking out many in their line.

It should have been easy.

It should have been over.

When Alex rolls onto her back, she sees that that was a fool’s dream.

Floating above the fray is a Sith Lord, the markings on the black cloth hard to mistake as anything else.Everything about her screams evil, the black unitard, the red highlights, the fluttery black cape, and the eerie red symbol that resembles a snake stamped in the middle of her chest.

It could also be the lightsaber she has in her hand deflecting blaster fire back at the Clones and easily multiplying her team’s advantage.

Her face is covered by some sort of helmet, the black visor blocking out her features but not, for some reason, the malevolent intent.

Whoever this woman is, she’s come her for one reason: to kill.

Alex stands, forcing Kara behind her and pulling both of her swords.

“Get back to the camp.”

“No.”

“Kara—”

“I’m not leaving you!She’s not here for you, Alex!”

Brow pinching, it’s all Alex can do not to turn.As confusing as Kara’s words are, she can’t dissect them right now.She needs to focus.With everything happening all at once, it’s a little tricky to keep her mind alert.Not when it very badly wants to look at the individual conflicts and _help._

Empty her mind.

The Clones and the Storm Troopers are still locked in battle, but the Sith has eyes for only them.

Good.

If she’s focused on them then that means—

Kara steps to the side, putting her body in front of Alex’s and taking the blow that was meant for Alex on her staff.

Their attacker is the other Sith, another woman, this one a brunette with sharp angular features and the same black unitard.At least she isn’t wearing a mask and a cape.

Still, there’s an angry grimace on her face and her words are cutting enough that Alex wishes there was a mask so that she can tune her out.Silent but deadly is much more preferable to deadly and disapproving.

“It’s been a long time Little One.”The words seep in like poisoned wine as the woman presses her lightsaber harder against Kara’s staff, which has remarkably not burnt to a crisp.Moving quickly, Alex presses her back to Kara’s, keeping her eyes on the other Sith who seems committed to just keep floating.“Look how you’ve grown. _So_ beautiful.”

Kara’s next words almost undo her.

Almost.

“You… you died.”Kara says in a broken whisper, her back warm and solid against Alex’s but trembling in fear.“When Krypton exploded.You—everyone died. _You died Aunt Astra_....”

“Do not stand against me.Little One.”

Kara shifts against her back, her feet pushing Alex forward a step as she apparently launches into a duel with her Aunt.

Who was not dead.

Who had somehow survived Krypton’s destruction.

Who had seemingly abandoned Kara to her own fate.

Who was a _Sith_.

What a fucking mind fuck.

Something buzzes close to Alex’s head and Kara gasps, the heat of a lightsaber blurring hot in Alex’s peripherals.

Fuck this.

“Keep your eyes on the other one!”Alex shouts, hooking Kara’s foot with her own and swapping their positions in a smooth spin.She slices her swords in an “X” motion, obliterating the oncoming attack from Astra and shorting out her lightsaber.

Alex leaves no recovery time, pressing the attack with a slash to the woman’s leg that has… literally no impact.Her sword ricochets off of impossibly strong flesh and she’s left gaping as the vibrations from the metal travel up her arm.

“It’s amazing what the yellow sun does for my kind.”Astra comments absentmindedly, like this were a normal day and they had met in a park. “You are very brave human but also very foolish.I think you’ll find it’s not quite so easy to defeat me.”

“Maybe for her.”Instinctively, Alex steps back, taking Kara with her as Diana cleanly takes her spot.Diana’s sword cleaves through the thin material of Astra’s body suit and into her skin, leaving a bloody trail behind.The Amazonian twirls her sword lazily, her shield braced on her opposite arm.“But I’ve been waiting for this moment for a very long time.”

They launch themselves at each other, Astra using her fists and feet now that Alex has taken her lightsaber out of the equation.It’s a temporary limitation and Alex really hopes that Diana is able to disable the Sith before it powers back up.

“We need to fall back.”She says, readjusting her body and taking one of Kara’s hands in her own.The other Sith has landed now and is walking toward the line of fighting Clones.Alex doesn’t think it’s a very good idea to wait around for her in the thick of this.“Behind the clone line, we’ll have backup.”

“She’s Kryptonian too.”Kara says breathlessly, face pale and eyes blown wide.“You should run. _You need to run!_ ”

“Kara!”This is a terrible place for a breakdown but goddamnit Alex can’t just leave her.From her peripherals she can see J’onn join the fray, sees him start tearing droids apart with his bare hands.Then the council members join the field and it’s enough of a disturbance that Alex feels comfortable pulling Kara behind a tree.

“Look at me.”Alex quickly urges, momentarily sheathing her swords so she can cradle Kara’s face.“Look at me.This is nothing ok?We have contingencies.The Rebels—”

Kara’s already shaking her head, tears spilling over in her panic.“This is my fault.I never should have dragged you into this.I should have known she’d find me.That she’d follow me—”

“It doesn’t matter—”

“Yes it does!She _kills_ everything in her way and—”

“I don’t care!”Releasing Kara’s face, Alex instead grabs her shoulders and shakes her.“I don’t care!She could be the fucking Cisar for all the number of fucks I give!I don’t care how many people she’s killed or who she’s after!This changes nothing!Whether you should have left a long time ago or not, it’s too late for that!They’re here Kara and they _will_ kill people if we don’t stop them.”

Kara sobs brokenly, lips trembling and making Alex pause.She honestly hadn’t meant to shout but this?They don’t have time for this.

“None of this is good.”She continues more softly, swiping at the streaks along Kara’s face.“This is a shit show, trust me, but we’re here.I can’t hold your hand right now so I need you to go back to the ship if you can’t handle it ok?Stay on the ship and I will come get you when we’re done.I swear it won’t change anything.” 

Alex squeezes her shoulders gently, one hand cupping her neck to force Kara’s gaze to remain on her because she needs her to hear this.To hear her.“But Kara, if you choose to fight, you’re not a solo party anymore; you’re a Rebel.I don’t care if that woman is your Aunt, right now she is an enemy combatant and we need to take her down before she hurts anyone.It’s your choice.”

It’s a split moment decision to kiss Kara’s cheek, her lips barely grazing along the corners of Kara’s before she’s pulling away and grabbing her blaster.

“Choose quickly though, this is a terrible hiding spot.”

No sooner has she said that, stepping out from behind the tree, then a Clone is sent hurling through the air at her head.She ducks quickly, glancing up to see the original Sith standing in the middle of the fight with Alex in her sights.

Bitch.

“Dox!”Kara yells, throwing herself in front of Alex and chopping a tree branch turned torpedo from midair with her staff.

Comically fast, the Ebon Hawk enters the field, one of the grappling wires shooting from near the hanger doors and latching onto the Sith woman’s torso.She claws at the chain but Dox has already put everything into the thrusters, taking her up, up, up and away.

The sound of the Hawk’s Gatling gun sounds when they’re far enough away to not be a danger to civilians and Alex raises impressed eyebrows.

“I guess this means I’m a Rebel.”Kara states, drawing Alex’s attention to the now fierce looking blonde.“Without a ship to hide away in and all, I guess my only choice is to fight.”She shrugs and wipes the rest of the mess from her face.“Plus, I’ve grown pretty fond of your face and I’m gonna be pissed if they mess it up.”

“Right.”Alex murmurs, still slightly awe-struck.Slowly, she unfurls her arm towards the battle and bows.“Then after you.”

~*~

Realistically, Alex knows that not a lot of time has passed but still, it feels like literal hours.Nia and Lucy are just behind her, ushering the remaining civilians into the fortified bunker.J’onn had dug it himself when he had first come here, a part of one of his breakdowns that General Sam Arias had later fashioned into a shelter.

Most of the civilians have already made it in, but they’d had to evacuate an entire city with only a half-hour warning tops.

Suffice to say, they’re struggling.

Badly.

Diana is keeping the Sith Warrior Astra busy, one of the few silver linings because the Storm Troopers are fighting with renewed vigor.The other Sith had severely depleted their number of Clones and, if it weren’t for Kara, J’onn, and the Council they would have already been defeated.

As it is, with those three sources of fighting power, the Storm Troopers can’t press their advantage; the Rebels are trying to ensure that the noncombatants are safely away before going for a full-on melee.It’s an exhausting stalemate to be sure and Alex’s arms burn under the weight of her swords.

She and Kara are still fighting side by side, Kara’s staff swinging lazily but with brute force.Alex is almost jealous.Her forearms had quit using technique somewhere around the ten-minute mark and she’s now resorted to reckless slashing and hacking.

If she were smarter, she’d pull her blaster, but Kara is using a close range weapon and Alex isn’t going to leave her to fend for herself.

She’ll deal or her arms will fall off.

Whichever one comes first.

Lucy shoves her to the side, pushing Alex behind her as she takes her spot.“Go help Nia you idiot!Before you get yourself killed!”

Alex pants harshly, hand on her chest and sending a worried glance in Kara’s direction.Kara spares her a glance of her own before nodding firmly.

“Go.I’ll see you after.”She promises and then releases a wave of heat vision onto the more aggressive droid combatants.It’s not the first time Kara had used it today, but Alex is still amazed just the same.

Reluctantly, seeing as how Kara is very clearly capable, Alex nods, taking a step back and then another as she turns and jogs towards Nia and the dimming crowd of people.Nia shoves a canteen of water at her.

“We’re almost there!”The teenager yells over the din, waving frantically at the flow of people entering the steel doors.“This is the last group.”

Alex nods and greedily finishes the water, eyes taking in the people and trying to figure out logistics.They need to be faster than this.It’s half on Alex’s mind to leap ahead of the crowd into the bunker and find Eliza.Her mother was great at organizing people and, if she could push people further into the compound faster, then maybe the line outside would move more quickly as well.

If they’re going to survive this than they need to be—

A blast of electricity charges across the field, Nia throwing up a shield of what she calls “Dream Energy” to keep it at bay just in the nick of time.

Still, Alex’s eyes are illuminated by it, the whiteness of the bolts so startingly sharp that she has to squint.The blueness of Nia’s energy dome pulsing against the whips of electricity.It’s almost beautiful.

And Nia is talented, has incredible aptitude and raw power, but she’s still just a child.Her shield barely extends a few feet past them, swallowing Lucy and Kara and even Diana and Astra still locked in battle.But anyone who wasn’t behind her barrier is killed.Which is more than half of their remaining force.

It’s Jack Spheer.

It’s Lauren Haley.

It’s civilians who hadn’t quite made it through; _children_ screaming and clutching to their parents and guardians as the lightning strikes.

It’s fires erupting from trees and houses and buildings.

It’s droids exploding and taking out anyone near them.

It’s the Clones.

It’s the Storm Troopers.

It’s death.

In its purest form.

And Alex watches it all unfold as if in slow motion, something that probably lasted a few seconds stretching out into horrific minutes.

And in the middle of the storm stands the Sith that Dox had so heroically flown away, the Ebon Hawk nowhere to be seen.

Which means that Dox might be gone.

And Winn.

And James.

… And Cat Grant.Kara’s foster mother.

Kara’s family.

Gone again.

This.

This was what the Sith brought.

Nothing but destruction.

Like a vacuum, the world speeds up again, loud and fast and full of pain and shock filled screams.

Alex’s eyes are glued to the arm on the ground, half of it perfectly intact while the rest of it and the body it was attached to is nothing but a pile of ash.

She feels sick.

Nia drops her shield, hands falling limply to her sides.For a second, Alex lets her.

For a second, she’s too numb to even move.

Then J’onn is next to her and literally shoving people into the bunker.

“Go!Go, go, go!”

It’s enough to snap Alex back into action.

“Nia!”She yells, already pulling her swords back out.“Get your shield back up; guard the evacuation.Don’t drop it until that bitch is dead!”

The Sith is recharging, another lightning attack on the tips of her fingers when Leslie Willis steps in front of her.

“Try it again bitch!”Leslie snarls, “I dare you!”

When the Sith does just that, Leslie _redirects_ the attack.The Force lightning flowing through Leslie like a conduit and flowing straight back at its maker.

Screaming, the Sith Lord drops to her knees, trying to pull her hand away from Leslie who is standing over her in a cloud of lightning.Her efforts are futile but for a second, Alex actually feels bad for her.For a second, she had thought the Sith sounded like—

She doesn’t see the lightsaber until it’s already hovering behind Leslie’s back.Shouting a warning does nothing, and Leslie falls limply to the ground.

J’onn rushes forward, Alex hot on his heels.

He goes for the Sith; she goes for Leslie.

Even though she knows it’s too late.

“General Willis!”Alex yells, sliding on her knees to the fallen Jedi.“Leslie, stay awake ok?We’re gonna get you to the healers and—”

“Save your strength dumbass.Get those people to safety.”

“I’m not leaving you behind.”

“Make sure you find Maggie.”Leslie gasps, eyes open but unseeing.“Tell her that she’s an asshole for worrying me like this ok?”

Last requests.

Fuck.

“I’ll tell her.I promise I’ll tell her.”

“You’re a good kid.”Leslie whispers, one of her hands rising unsteadily to slap at Alex’s cheeks.“Your mom’s a lucky woman.Don’t get yourself killed.Don’t be a hero.”

“Fuck you.”Alex mumbles, catching the hand and squeezing.No way did Leslie actually expect her to sit this out, she was just having a last laugh at Alex’s expense.As usual.

Her theory is confirmed when Leslie releases a last weak chuckle.“Good girl.”

Then she’s just gone and, as much as Alex wants to move her body somewhere it won’t get stepped on, she knows she doesn’t have the time.

They’re officially out of time.

She watches J’onn take a punch to the head, his Green Martian form stumbling back as the Sith presses her advantage.

And it might not be her best idea, joining the battle like this with her current mental space, but that Sith has now killed three council members.She’s going to kill J’onn.The next people in her path would be Kara and Lucy, and Alex has no doubt she’ll kill them with brutal efficiency.

Lena reaches J’onn before Alex does, meeting their opponent in the middle of the field. Before she can so much as try to land a hit, the Sith thrusts her hand in front of her, closing it on thin air.

And Lena, a Jedi _Master_ with high accolades is hoisted off of the ground as if she were a neophyte.

It’s a good thing Alex had already started running.

For all that Force users were powerful, they were also notoriously unable to employ more than one Force power at once.

Alex is not a Jedi, and she has very little protection against the Force, but she is a Rebel.Right now, Lena is taking the Force part out of the equation.

The Kryptonian part… Alex has been working on that.

Her hand closes over a specialized grenade in her pocket, throwing it into the sky as she drops into a slide.

Neither Lena nor the Sith see her coming, too preoccupied with the red light that has exploded above them to pay her any mind.Which is why slicing through the back of the Sith’s calves is so ridiculously simple.

Alex is on her feet and slashing again, her sword opening another wound along the Sith’s chest and arm as Lena is released from her Force choke.

Then it’s three on one, Lena, J’onn, and Alex working off of each other to bring this Sith to heel.The short break Lucy had forced her to take has done wonders for her breathing, but Alex is still exhausted.And she’s not fast enough and this is still a _Sith._

She’s outmatched.

And her Red Sunlight grenade had been a temporary fix.

In seconds, the Sith is recharged and easily flings Lena across the battlefield.J’onn is caught in a Force choke and Alex has mere seconds to contemplate her death before the Sith simultaneously turns her lightsaber on Alex.

And stops.

Mere centimeters from impaling her chest.The Sith seemingly frozen in place by some unknown force.Alex chances a glance at J’onn, thinking that maybe he had discovered some new power but he’s staring at something past her.

At Kara.

“ENOUGH!”Kara explodes, eyes closed, and staff thrust into the ground in front of her. The stitching in her suit is glowing gold now, not white and her mouth is set in the most pained grimace Alex has ever seen.With her hands wrapped tight around the wood, all of her focus is seemingly being funneled through her weapon.

To stop the Sith.

With the Force.

Kara… was using _the Force_.

“That’s enough Kas!This ends _now!”_

And Kara knows this Sith too…

Wha….

Kara opens her eyes, an intense blue light coming from behind her irises and illuminating the destroyed city.

It takes Alex’s brain a lot of convincing to believe what she sees next because then Astra is floating over to this ‘Kaz’, like they’re being tied together by an invisible rope.They both struggle but Kara just tightens her hands on her staff.

There’s a groaning sound from the trees and a small ship lurches up drunkenly, tumbling closer to them.Something clicks in Alex’s brain.However this is happening, it _is_ happening, and she can’t chance these two psychopaths coming back.

Thinking quickly, she pulls two sonic grenades out of her pocket, attaching them to either woman’s unitard for safe keeping, the pins coming away on her fingers while Kara pulls the remaining Storm Troopers into the group.

She doesn’t think Kara knows what she’s done.Is pretty sure Kara would have removed the grenades if she had seen it, but as it is, the Kryptonian simply directs her captured prey into their vessel and with a mighty shove sends them hurtling into space.

Alex hopes she tossed them far.

“Kara!”Lucy yells, catching Kara when she collapses, blood dripping pretty heavily from her nose.

There are a lot of questions, and so much that they still need to do to refortify but taking care of the wounded and searching for survivors has to come first.

“We need to set up a medical tent.”Alex says, hurrying over to Lucy and Kara and checking the Kryptonian’s pulse.It’s strong.She should be fine.

Hopefully.

Lena staggers over with shock in every line of her features but Alex doesn’t have time for her amazement right now.

She doesn’t even have time for her own.

“Lena,” Alex stands, hand gripping Lena’s elbow.“Send word down to the bunker; get my mom up here.We’re going to need a doctor and—”

“I can’t.”Lena frowns and looks out towards the devastation.Her eyes probably see a lot more than Alex’s but even being a normal human, Alex can still hear the cries for help.Smell the acrid, charred smoke in the air that can only be burning flesh.

Whatever Lena’s game is, Alex doesn’t want to play.

Mouth pulling down, Alex shakes her head impatiently.“I don’t have time for your superiority bull Lena, you’re the one with the codes.Tell Sam to send up—”

“Alex I can’t because Eliza never went into the bunker.”Lena looks back out at the still burning homes, eyes narrowing in anger.“She was helping with the evacuation.”

“What?”That made no sense.Medical personnel first.That had always been the rule.You prioritized women, children, and medical personnel.Her mom qualified for at least two of those and— “Why would she— just: where is she **now**?”

Lena turns that unnerving gaze back to her and Alex forgets about everything.

About the attack.

And the Rebels.

And the Ebon Hawk.

Hell, she even forgets about Kara.

The only thing she can think about is Eliza.

Eliza and her damn mothering.

“Alex…”Lena murmurs, the rare hint of emotion doing absolutely nothing to help Alex right now.“I am so sorry.”

~*~

Black and grey clouds rim her vision and she pushes against the heaviness on her chest, turning onto her side and retching horribly all over the floor of the hangar.Light and sound filter in at different speeds; Kaznia squints against the overstimulation.She tries to stand.

Her legs don’t respond.

_Kas._

Hands try to pull her up, but she shoves them all away; rolls onto her stomach; to her knees; swipes a shaky hand over her mouth.

Not Kaz.Not…She’d said it different.

“…Lord…get… there’s… with… medical…”

_That’s enough!_

“The fuck did that scum do to me?”

Her voice sounds weird; shaky and uneven.Quickly she looks up, taking in the alarmed faces all around her and forcing herself to her feet.Like hell would she let them see her weak.Like hell—

She almost falls over.

Astra catches her.

_This ends now!_

She’d looked like her.That girl had _looked_ like _Kaznia_!

“Steady… plot… to Korriban… hurry!”

“Astra?”

The last thing she sees is Astra, mouth a thin line as she glares at a hologram of the Grand Moff.

The Cisar would not be pleased with their failure.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My Low Budget version of the Battle of Yavin! No x wings or y wings or tie fighters in this one because while cinematically that looks cool, writing it might have been exhausting. But I hope I did an ok job regardless :)
> 
> We immediately wake up with Alex and Kara the snuggle bunnies as they sense danger but, Alex is love struck and so doesn't ask the hard hitting questions. That's why we have Lucy. How *does* Kara know that they're are powerful Sith about? Because she's a friggin Jedi baby! Kara's past is about to come ALL the way out and yeah. Poor Alex is about to get some serious whiplash.
> 
> While Alex is over here being a master strategist and taking out the leaders, Kara's tryna keep herself hidden away. Not an easy feat when Astra shows up and then fucking Kaznia's rampaging.
> 
> Do any of you play Injustice? I don't (I hate fighting games, more of an RPG or FPS girl myself) but I watch people play and Batman's "ultimate" move or whatever where he uses the batjet to annihilate people? Yeah, that's where I got the idea for Dox to yeet Kaznia into the stratosphere and shoot the shit out of her. Unfortunately she survived because obviously but that does beg the question of what the hell happened to the people on the Hawk?
> 
> Jumping back to Astra for a second... she seemed remorseful right? A la circa the show where she was like "join me" and Kara was like "hard pass". She can never win huh?
> 
> Then we got really into the fighting and Kaz used Force Lightning (I imagine Starkiller from the Force Unleashed Game here) and although she gets a good 1st attack, Leslie comes out of nowhere (because of course) and friggin Avatar Last Airbender Zuko Vs. Azula's her shit. But then Kaz uses that dirty Ben Solo trick that got Snoke killed.
> 
> Where's Maggie?
> 
> Kara finally *finally* lets lose. Remember the prophecy? Badass twins on opposite sides? Yeah. That shit's gonna hurt. Night Night Kaz.
> 
> And then lastly Alex... I think people will begin to see where I went off the deep end last year as I was writing this. It's like in the Wedding Singer when he wrote the 1st half of his song when he was in love and the second half after his girl left him? Yeah this is gonna be like that. Hopefully less psychotic but there will be a definite shift.
> 
> For any of you hoping for the smoochie… obviously that won't happen for a while. I mean, technically I read this one thing on pinterest this one time that obviously applies to everyone always about people wanting slow burn to be _slow_ so technically I'm doing this right...
> 
> Happy Valentines Day?


	18. Ch 16: To Earn My Stripes I'd Have to Pay

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aftermath of Yavin. We "Break Into Two" as the theater kids say and Kara gets a voice. Alex... makes a decision.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guess who's back? Back again? Chronicles of Scout is back... tell a friend. Guess who's back, guess who's back, guess who's back...
> 
> Hey Guys! Long time no read. I had a great time in Los Angeles; first time I stayed more than like 48 hours and... aside from the SEVERE homeless crisis they've got going on: I kind of like it. I'm used to big city (born and raised in NY and miss it) and LA is kind of like not big city. But it's more city than most of the rest of the cities? It's just a very different place and I liked that I could buy tacos for like two bucks. I think this might be my next move...
> 
> I opened my email Sunday and saw all of the comments in my inbox (some from even before I left!) so thank you all for that! I've been reading through them and hope to have responded to most of them by Friday :)
> 
> This chapter is a transition chapter if you will (not short but no action. lotsa introspection). It mostly deals with death because well a lot of people died. Eliza included. Just to... get that out of the way. Sorry to pop the bubbles of the optimists but I mean... it's me. I kill people. This one was necessary though and it kind of made me realize that I'm more prone to making Alex suffer than Kara and now I need to find out why... maybe because Kara's fucking adorable and no harm should come to her ever and in the long run she'd destroy anyone who ever even thought of looking at Alex wrong? Eh... I'll figure it out.
> 
> Also, as previously mentioned, this second half of the story was written post major life event (details are in one of my tumblr posts if you're interested) so the tone is notably different (at least to me). Not a ghost writer or a cowrite situation, I was just sorting through some stuff and it came out like this so... for like 3 chapters or so we do get a little more intimate in the feelings department. Like all of the feelings.
> 
> Song: A Million Years Ago- Adele

“…we’ll need to bury everyone quickly.”

“…it shouldn’t be rushed…”

“…these are _people_ we’re talking about Diana…”

“…I’ll take care of it…”

“…but Alex—”

“—can’t.I will.”

“Hey.”

“Alex.”

“Alex!”

Something soft touches her face, brings her head up.Kara looks sad, a concerned furrow to her brow as she holds Alex’s face like it’s made of glass.

“There you are.”Kara whispers, much closer than the other whispers had been.Clearer too.“You shouldn’t be in here Alex.”

Why?

“Alex…”Kara trails off, one hand dropping from Alex’s cheek, trailing down her arm and—

Alex flinches away, squeezing Eliza’s hand like a lifeline.It’s cold and unfamiliar but it’s all Alex has left in this world.It’s the only thing—

“Sorry.”Kara murmurs, retracting her hand and digging her fingers into Alex’s hair instead.“I’m sorry.I didn’t mean to startle you but… Alex they need to… honey, you have to let her go.”

Why would she do that?Why would she—this doesn’t make sense.None of it makes sense.She has questions.So many questions.

“Did they finish searching the forest?”That’s the first one; for some reason it’s important.

“We found the Ebon Hawk.”Kara confirms, still in that soft voice.“Winn and Cat were a little banged up but nothing serious.James got hurt trying to land the ship.The healers say he’ll be fine but he’s still unconscious.Dox… he retreated back to me so he’s mostly ok but um… the um—Winn’s hard drives, the computer… they were all destroyed.”

“Braniac?”

“We’ll find another way.”

There was no other way.They’d lost.Handily.

Alex had never actually faced a Sith Lord before, let alone two of them… she wonders if it were her own hubris that had caused this.

What would have happened if she had left like Kara had asked?

Maybe they would have chased them.

Maybe they wouldn’t have.

She’s seen what the Sith do to colonies who won’t bend to their rule.

It would have been worse.

Right?

_Right_?

“Were there any other survivors?”

She needs to know if they’d found anyone; if maybe there was more news or information that had come in that she didn’t know.

“Alex… honey, we’ve been through this.Eliza is—Alex, you’re holding her hand right now.”

“But maybe—”

“No.”Kara says firmly, forcing Alex’s head back up from where it had drifted to the side.“No maybes.I wish I had a maybe for you; a possibility that this isn’t real Alex, but it is.She’s gone Alex.Eliza… Eliza is dead.”

But Kara doesn’t know everything.She doesn’t know who Eliza was; the technology she had created.The science.

“You don’t understand.”

“Alex—”

“No!You don’t… she made the Clones.Her and my dad, they… Kara they _made_ them.What if she cloned herself?”

It’s plausible.If Eliza had thought she would need to be in many places at once… she wouldn’t have risked going out alone.Not when doing so would have meant the colony lost their lead science and medical expert.Eliza would never have made the colony so vulnerable—herself so vulnerable.Alex had heard enough safety lectures to know her mother wouldn’t have just… Eliza would have known that the droids wouldn’t have been able to manage the flow of injuries; that her apprentice wouldn’t have—it made sense.

“In less than an hour?”Kara’s voice is thick and Alex wonders why she’s sad.

This is good news.

This is good.

If they can find out where Eliza would have gone… Alex had already checked their old house and Jeremiah’s makeshift grave.But Lucy had found her before she could keep going and brought her here.To this Eliza.Who was dead.

The sight of the body… it had been a lot but now that Alex’s brain is working again, she realizes it was a waste of time.

“What if this isn’t even really her?She could have escaped somewhere, and we just need to keep looking.”Standing, Alex takes step towards the door, her feet unsteady beneath her.The room looks a little wonky, sways just a bit too much on her right.“I need to keep looking.I need to find her—”

“Alex _this is her._ ”Kara catches her around the shoulders when she stumbles, her face so earnest but for some reason enraging to Alex.“This is her.You and I both know that no science alive would have been able to produce a workable clone in an hour.There are no miracles here.”

“Why?”Alex spits, jerking away and almost tripping over the chair she’d been sitting in.“Because you say so?Because everyone you love died?Newsflash Kara, your aunt isn’t dead.Somehow she survived and—”

“ _Your mother is not my aunt!_ ”Kara shakes her head, closing her eyes for a moment before seemingly re-centering herself.“Alex, your mother is not my aunt.I never saw Astra’s body, but Eliza’s is staring you in the face.And I know this hurts _.I know_.But what you’re doing right now is not going to help you.”

“And what will? _You_?”

“I don’t know.”Kara whimpers, pressing her fingers against her trembling lips.“I don’t know how to help you; I lost my mom and I have absolutely zero advice here.Nothing I say will make this better.”

There’s a hint of lucidity that enters Alex’s brain.A piece of her that is starting to _hear_ Kara.But if she hears her, if she actually listens than that will mean that Eliza really is… that she’s… 

“If I could find her,” Alex tries, taking a step closer to Kara and clutching at her arms.“Kara if I could just find her than you would see.She just… I just need to find her and then this—none of this will matter.”

“Alex,” Kara sobs, tears spilling over onto her cheeks even as lifts her hands to once again cradle Alex’s face.“If she were still here, _she_ would have already found _you_.”

The words punch a hole through Alex’s chest, her brow crinkling in betrayal as she pulls away from Kara yet again.

“She’s right Cap.”Lucy whispers from where she’s just entered the white tent, one hand still clutching the fabric of the entryway.“I wish she wasn’t, but she is.You know your mom; if there were any chance of that body not being Eliza’s, she’d already be here. She’d already be hugging you and making this all seem like a bad dream.”

Alex shakes her head, backing away from them both.

“I’m sorry Alex.”Lucy says, striding across the space cramped with bodies covered in white sheets and pulling Alex’s unwilling body against her own.“I’m really sorry.”

And even though Alex fights back, pushing hard against the vice grip Lucy has on her, her friend doesn’t let go.Lucy sinks to the floor with her, whispering her apologies over and over as something breaks inside of Alex.

She tries regaining her feet, tries using Lucy as leverage but nothing works, and she can’t remember why she’s even trying.

She wants her mom.

She just wants her mom.

~*~

Kara hadn’t decided that it was best to stay away from Alex, she just… didn’t want to make things worse.There was no blame from Alex—from anyone on the colony actually, but Kara blames herself.

They should have left.

She and Winn.

They should have left as soon as they were off Taris.Kara should have said ‘no’ when Alex asked her to join her back on Yavin; she should have said ‘no’ when Alex asked her to speak to the Council; she should have said ‘no’ when Alex offered to join them on their quest.

It had been stupid to stay just because Alex was her zhao.

It had been stupid to think that just because Kas hadn’t found her before, that she wouldn’t now.

Artemis had warned her when she’d found her: one would destroy the Sith and the other would be its weapon.

Two guesses on who was who.

And, just because Kas seems to hate her and want her dead, didn’t mean that their bond was broken.They’d been born through the Force; twins, a seeming blessing on Krypton.It had been a celebration at the time and then later, when the Jedi had come and taken both girls and later their baby cousin… The House of El had been extolled, celebrated for gifting the galaxy with three extremely powerful Jedi padawans in only one generation.

The few times she’d been allowed to see her parents, Kara had remembered them being _so_ proud.

It would be nice to say that no one could have foresaw the attack on the Academy, except that Artemis had warned the Jedi years in advance.Had told them of the prophecy that the Force had brought to her.

They had immortalized it; written it down in the sacred texts and then left it to be forgotten.

Until nearly a decade later when the Sith sent their best warriors to stem the threat that one of their own had learned existed.

They’d slaughtered _everyone_ and Kara had watched.

Kas had wanted to run too but Kara had insisted on getting the civilians off the planet.There had been a ship and Kara had run off to find baby Kal-El and Winn. Kas was supposed to meet them and they would all leave together.

Winn’s mom had been one of the techs at the nursery where baby Kal was so it would have been two birds with one stone.

Get her cousin and her friend.

Meet up with her sister.

It hadn’t worked.

Like all of her plans, she had failed.

And Kas… 

Her sister had died that day.

Now Alex was suffering because of her mistakes.

Her Zhao.

It was weird; all of the years she had been alive, and Kara had somehow never thought she’d actually meet her zhao.She’d assumed that because of her sins, Rao had determined her unworthy of such a prize. But then there she had been; all covered in mud and blood and shock.

And Kara had _wanted_ to stay; had wanted Alex to give her a _reason_ to stay.

These past few months had been so fulfilling but they had cost Alex her home and her family and Kara wasn’t sure what kind of monster it made her that she didn’t want to take any of it back.

“They’re going to start the funerals in the morning.”Winn says, his voice not at all surprising given that he walked as heavily as a Wookie.“Lena wanted me to send her thanks… for helping with the graves.”

“It was the least I could do.”Kara mumbles, hunching her shoulders further and trying to disappear among the trees.

Winn takes a seat next to her on the log she had found, far away from any passersby’s but close enough.

In case Alex needed her.

She probably wouldn’t.

“You don’t know that it was you.”Winn whispers.“I know they sent Darth Kaznia here but—”

“Kassandra.”

“Kara…”

“What?”She asks, miffed.“Her name is Kassandra.That stupid title just gives her more power that she doesn’t deserve.Not after everything she’s done.”

“…is that why you still collect stars for her?”

It’s like a punch to the gut, black spots dancing in front of her eyes as years of pain dump over her like ice cold water.Kara’s up in an instant, walking away from her well-meaning friend and his very unwelcome words.However true they may be.

“Whoa.”Winn of course, follows her.He throws his hands up placatingly, walking backwards to match her step and keep her in his sights.“That was a jerk thing to say.I didn’t mean that Kara.I swear I didn’t mean anything by it.”

“You think I don’t know that my sister’s gone?”Kara fumes, stopping abruptly to yell at Winn properly.“You think I don’t know that?”

“I think you knowing that and you wanting to believe that are two very different things.”Winn shrugs.“She’s a murderer Kara; you can’t change that.But you also can’t take responsibility for every person she’s wronged.And that includes Alex.”

“She followed me—”

“You don’t _know_ that.”

“I do.Artemis warned us—she warned _me—”_

“Yeah and that’s why we made the suit!That’s why Diana asked Dox to help us hide you.To hide your connection to the Force.There’s no way they could have tracked you—”

“—Unless I took the suit off!”Kara yells in frustration.When Winn looks at her blankly, she crosses her arms, unsure of what to do with herself.Unsure of what she’s supposed to be doing with herself.“Alex was dying.That poison—you _saw_ her Winn.And Diana is a strong Jedi but she’s not a great healer.”She thumped a hand on her chest, trying to get her friend to understand.“I am.”

“You took off the suit.”

“I took off the suit.”Shrugging, Kara doesn’t even try to stop the tears that fall.She deserves them.She deserves a lot worse.“I put everyone here at risk.That was my choice; I made it and I—” She bites her lip, unable to quite look Winn in the eye when she makes her confession.“Alex is alive because I took off that suit.I can’t regret that, but I am _so sorry!”_

Winn hugs her, he’s just barely her height but somehow in that moment he feels like a mountain for all the strength he’s giving her.That he’s always given her.

“The dampening box?”

Another of their team inventions, designed to allow Kara time to bathe and cloak her temporarily when she was out of the suit.

“I used my powers.”Kara sniffles. “We never tested it at that level before.”

Sighing, Winn pulls her closer.“It still wasn’t your fault.The only person responsible for Kassandra’s actions is Kassandra.Not you.Not me.No one.”

“I shouldn’t have come here.I should have just let her live her life.I should have walked away.I should have been strong enough to walk away.”

“Doesn’t Alex get a say in that?”

Scoffing, Kara finally allows herself to return the hug, to sink further into Winn and bury her face in his shoulder.“Do you honestly think she’d choose a stranger’s love over her own mother’s life?”

“Well no but… I think you have a whole lot more to offer than just love Kara.You’re taking down the _Sith._ Alex knows that there are bound to be losses in this kind of war.”

Kara shakes her head.“It’s her _mom_ Winn.What am I supposed to say to her?”

“Nothing.You and I both know that there’s nothing _to_ say. If she lets you, then all you can do is just be there for her.”He hesitates and pulls away enough that they can look at each other.“But this time… Kara if she needs to stay here, this time you need to let her go.”

~*~

Alex does not go to the funeral.

~*~

“So… I know you’ve been in a not talking mood and I’ve been super respectful and backed off all week but… I just thought you would like an update.”

Alex stares at her ceiling.

Lucy continues to talk.

“J’onn and Lena have already set the droids to rebuilding.Kara and Diana are helping a lot with that.Cat too, she’s freakishly good at organizing people and delegating.”

There’s ash coming in through the vents, even after more than a week, it still manages to find a way into Alex’s life.Choking.Consuming.

“Your mom’s service was held with everyone else, but I didn’t let my dad speak for her.Thought you’d appreciate that. Uh… I said a few words.Pretty sure they sucked but… well, Eliza never liked pretty things anyway, right?”

Alex sighs.“She liked flowers.”

“I know.”Lucy says softly, her own sigh heavy and remorseful.“I planted some.All over her grave and all different types so that she could always have them close.”

It’s a nice reminder that Alex isn’t the only one feeling this loss.Lucy had loved Eliza too.It would be cruel to tell her that not all species of flowers really got along.Maybe Alex could ask J’onn to fix it.He liked to garden.

“You should also know,” Lucy continues, “that I gave Kara and Winn the Ebon Hawk.They’ve been working on it and it should be air worthy by tomorrow.”Finally peeling herself away from the door, Lucy slouches on the floor by Alex’s bunk and shrugs.“James is still unconscious but they’re going to take him with anyway.They’ll need to get new parts for Winn’s computer, see if there’s anything to salvage.Kara seems to think that the sooner they leave, the better it will be for everyone.”

That’s probably true.In terms of safety for Yavin anyway.If Kara’s family really is hunting her like prey than staying in their last known location was a fool’s choice.

“You gave away my ship?”

“Our ship.”Lucy gently reminds.“We built that hunk together; you, me, and Maggie.Part of our graduation test.Besides, end of the world level stakes… kind of think it belongs with the people who will be fit to try and stop it.”

Having traced the outline of a lion in the soot covered ceiling, Alex peels her eyes away to finally look at Lucy.The enrtgy that costs her is significant; everything feels heavy and there’s a bone deep exhaustion that makes even breathing a task.This conversation is already exhausting but… it’s Lucy.Alex would willingly tire herself out for her friend.

“You think I’m not fit?”

“I’m not.”Lucy admits readily, listlessly.“How could I expect you to be?”

“You didn’t even ask.”

“Re: not talking mood.”

“Are _you_ ok?”Alex asks instead of confirming or denying that accusation.

“None of us are ok Alex.”

“That’s not what I asked.”She lets one hand drop, searching a bit before finding Lucy’s shoulder and giving it a brief squeeze.

Lucy sighs.“No. I’m not.”

“Anything I can do?”

“The best you can.”Shrugging, Lucy glances back at her and crosses her arms.“We’re all just doing the best we can.”

“This isn’t the best we can.”

“It’s the best _you_ can; and… I go where you go.”

“You’d leave the service?For me?”

Lucy shrugs, but Alex can hear the frustration in her voice no matter how nonchalant she tries to appear.“It’s not like it’s permanent.Besides, Kara loves you; she’ll make sure the Hawk comes back safe and sound.”

“Kara doesn’t…” Stopping and reorganizing her thoughts, Alex closes her eyes and scratches her nose.“Why do you think that?”

“Why do you think Maggie and I stopped everything to talk to you about it?”

“Because you’re nosy.”

“That’s true.”Lucy allows, poking Alex in the cheek.“But it’s also because it’s the potential between the two of you is very clear. And I like Kara; you’re decent I guess so… I don’t want you to mess it up.”

Mouth ticking to the side, Alex shakes her head.“It might not be real.Whatever this…” she waves a hand in the air dismissively. Lets it thump noisily back by her side.Rolls her eyes at the energy that took. “It’s the first time I’ve felt like this so don’t get your hopes up.”

“Felt like this for a girl?”

“For anyone.”

“That’s not really something you should dismiss Alex.”Lucy says softly, poking Alex again but this time in the bicep.“You should talk to her before she goes; at least give her a hint of what’s going on in your head.”

“Do you want to know what I’ve been thinking about?”Alex asks, startling Lucy enough that the brunette tips her head back to look at her.“Do you remember on Taris when the Vornskr were attacking us?”

“Yeah?”

“They weren’t attacking “us”.They were attacking Kara.They feed on Jedi and they didn’t go after anyone else but her.”

“That’s what you’ve been thinking about?”

“And in the cave, it looked like she was _floating_.Because she was.She was using the Force.”

_Protect Kara._

That’s what Winn had said.What J’onn had said.

_Protect Kara._

It also nudges her memory of how Kara had behaved while they’d been on Fodu; of how Alex had thought she’d been acting weird but looking back it just seems… territorial.Lucy had said that Kara liked her and on Fodu when Amara had tried approaching them, Kara had acted like she was marking her territory.

She had been happy when Alex had elected to go with her instead of Amara.

Maybe… later.She could think about it later.

“Alex… I… I mean we kind of already saw that she was probably a Jedi when she punted what was left of those assholes into space.Why is this newsworthy?”

“It isn’t.I’m just wondering what else she’s keeping from us?”

“You think we can’t trust her?”

It’s a fair question and one that Alex herself has given a lot of thought to. Her eyes drift back to ceiling; her hands, already pillowing her head, scratch idly at the back of her neck.

On Taris, Kara had saved them.On the Red Planet, Kara had built those water hoses.On Dragas, Kara had tried to get Alex to leave her.

Winn had asked Alex to protect Kara; to defend her at all costs.

The reason behind that is starting to become a bit clearer.

“I think I don’t know enough to say that for certain.I can’t give a blanket statement of trust Luce but… _I_ trust her.For whatever that’s worth to you.”

“It’s worth a hell of a lot Cap.”

Lucy was her best friend.She’d given up a lot for Alex; had stood by her through everything.This pain Alex was feeling wasn’t going to go away on Yavin or the Hawk or in the heart of the Sith Legion.It didn’t matter where she was; good or bad, Eliza would always be with her.

Alex didn’t need to stay here.

Lucy didn’t _want_ to stay here.

“I’ve got a really bad idea.”Alex admits, propping herself up on one arm to get a good look at Lucy.

Her friend grins, the sadness in her eyes slightly dimmed by its impishness.

“Those are the best kind.”

~*~

J’onn is waiting for her because, of course he is.Alex hadn’t really expected anything else but it’s still nice to see.

Nia is with him, sitting on his porch with a steaming cup in her lap.There are bags under her eyes, and she’s wrapped tight in a multicolored blanket.

As much as Eliza had never really trusted J’onn, she still appreciated the way he had looked out for Alex.The blanket had been her creation.For the cold nights, she had said.

The sight of it makes Alex feel guilty; she’d wallowed for days and forgotten about everyone else.While she had lost her mother, and had _every_ right to grieve, that didn’t erase the impact Eliza had had on the colony. _Everyone_ was grieving her and, while most people had others to lean on, Nia really didn’t.

She wasn’t an orphan exactly, but her family had pretty much stopped speaking to her when she’d told them that she was a ‘she’.Eliza had been the one to help her with her transition.Nia’s mom had been supportive, but she’d passed a while back, leaving her powers and family legacy to Nia.A sore spot since it was supposed to be passed on to the next _daughter_ and Nia had been born a _son._ Her sister had never forgiven her.

And her father had been too depressed to care.

As much as Alex didn’t really get close to people, Nia had gotten close to her.Not checking on her, not making sure that she was ok was a huge error.

Especially seeing as the closer Alex gets, the more she can see the girl’s hands shake.

“Hello.”Alex greets, trying not to sound too hollow.She doesn’t want either of them to worry about her, especially because they probably won’t be seeing each other until after the war.Nudging Nia’s boot with her own, she tries for a smile.“I’m glad your vision was wrong, and you didn’t die.”

Her teasing falls flat and Nia winces, successfully making Alex feel more like an ass.Enough so, that she immediately turns her attention to J’onn.

“I’m leaving.”She says, hands on her hips and trying to appear more confident than she is.“I wanted to say goodbye.”

“A wise decision.”J’onn rumbles, standing and, for the first time since Alex was young, hugging her.“I am happy that you are finding your path.”

“Protect Kara, right?”

“Protect Kara,” J’onn agrees, “and yourself.”He releases her but keeps his hands on her shoulders.“This is just as much your journey as it is hers.You are important too Alex.”

“Right.” She mutters, grasping one of his larger hands in hers.“Right.”

Stepping back, she offers a small wave before retreating completely.She’s made it all of nine steps before she’s spinning back around.There isn’t a doubt in her mind that Eliza had loved her; her mother had shown it often enough that Alex hadn’t ever truly questioned its presence so much as its nature.Eliza may have been disappointed on more than one occasion and she may have yelled and raged, but she had loved her.Even if Alex had thought there were things that her mother loved more…

Leaving now, with things unsaid, when in all likelihood she would not be seeing either of these people again—she can’t leave J’onn with the same regrets that she has.That, if Eliza is still somehow able to see her, Eliza might have too.

That last interaction had been peaceful, and Alex will treasure it forever, but she wishes she’d said more.

That she’d said what she felt just once.

Even if she can’t look J’onn in the eye for this, she still needs to say the words out loud.

“You weren’t my father.You probably never tried to be my father; I know you were pretty annoyed when I first showed up but I… I just need you to know that I’ve loved you like one.And you’re a really good dad.Whether you mean to be or not.”

When J’onn chokes, his hand coming up to cover his mouth, she spins on her heel, hurrying away as quickly as she can.She hopes they can leave it at that; that J’onn will accept that she _knows,_ and they can avoid the awkwardness.

When something collides with her back, she thinks maybe J’onn had followed her, but the high-pitched sobs clue her in that it’s Nia.

“Hey kid, hey.”Alex soothes, gently patting Nia’s hands on her stomach.“We’re fine Nia.We’re ok.”

“I’m so sorry Alex!” Nia cries, fingers digging harshly into Alex’s bruised ribs.“I tried!I swear I tried to make it as big as possible but I—I don’t know what happened.”Her sobs intensify, and Alex quickly breaks her hold so that she can catch the girl before she falls over.“I don’t know why I wasn’t strong enough!I don’t know what was wrong with me!It was my fault!All those people died because of—”

“The Sith.Those people died because the Sith staged an attack on a colony of civilians.That’s all.”

“But—”

“No buts.”Stroking the young woman’s face with her thumbs, Alex shakes her head fondly.“You and I can blame ourselves until we’re blue in the face but that will never change the fact that if you removed us from the equation, more people would have died.The only way Nia— _the only way_ that goes any different is if the Sith never attack.That’s it.”

Nia’s mouth trembles, but she looks uncertain instead of devastated.“I could have done better.”

“ _Then do better_.We’re still at war; you think you can do better than practice and _become_ better.But do it for yourself Nia, not out of any misplaced guilt.”Alex commands, “that’s an order from your Captain.”

The nod she receives is determined but it quickly morphs and then Nia looks almost flabbergasted.

“Was that… a joke?Did you just make a joke?”

Alex chuckles wetly and waves another goodbye, Nia’s incredulous voice trailing after her.

“Did you just _laugh?_ ”

~*~

“Did you make sure that the cylinders were charged?”Kara asks, shoulders drooping heavily as she checks through the ships systems.“And the hyper drive?”

“Yes and yes.”Winn confirms.“They’re both fully operational.I’m a little worried about that patch job you did—”

“It will hold.At least until we get to Nar Shaddaa.”

From the corner of her eye, Kara watches Winn slink into the cockpit, trying and failing to be as inconspicuous as possible.In another time, she would have been amused, right now she can’t quite muster up the energy to feel anything but tired.

Her fingers swipe over the panel screen on the wall, increasing the energy output to the ship’s propulsion systems and defenses.She has no idea what will happen when they leave the planet’s cloaking field and she wants to be prepared if Kas had decided to stick around.

Given that Alex had strapped a bomb to her chest, Kara is thinking not but she’s learned to prepare for anything when it comes to her twin.

She really hopes the thing blew her to kingdom come.

“Diana got James on the ship.”Winn comments.“He’s in the medbay.”

There’s a stinging pain behind her eyes, and Kara rubs furiously at the space between her eyebrows.“I’m sorry I can’t heal him.I wanted—”

“Hey no!I’m not blaming you Kara; this isn’t—I just wanted to give you an update.”

“Ok.”She sighs, closing out of the program and turning to face him.“Anything else?”

“No.”Winn mumbles, looking down at his feet and shuffling awkwardly.“No, we’re good.”

“Ok then—”

“We could just ask Alex to come.”Winn rushes out, hands fisting at his sides and still avoiding eye contact.“And Lucy.They wouldn’t say no and—”

“No Winn.”

“Kara… I get that you feel guilty, but we _need_ their help.”

“We have Diana.And Cat.You want to tell Cat she’s not enough?”

“Definitely not but Kara…dude look at yourself.You look like a zombie.”

Frowning, Kara glances down at her person, palms opening as if she will be able to discern her flaws there.“Why?”

“You need her Kara.You’ll just worry yourself sick if you leave things like this.”

“Winn—”

“Will you please stop being a martyr?!For like one second!”

“Winn.”Kara shakes her head, scrubbing a hand over her face as her headache intensifies.“Alex is… do you remember when we were younger, and we were just learning how to ride swoop bikes?How they had the bumpers up on the training tracks?”

“Yeah…?”

“We could go as fast or as crazy as we wanted, and we knew that those bumpers would protect us.No matter how out of control we felt, nothing bad would happen.”

Mouth pinching, Winn waves his finger between her and the door.“Are you using a metaphor to describe Alex as your bumper?Because I kind of feel like that’s proving my point.”

“Alex is my bumper.”Kara confirms, hugging herself as her body sways.“The problem you’re not getting is that I’m not _hers.”_ She shrugs, trying for a smile but giving up when Winn just continues to look morose.“I didn’t protect her Winn.I could have.I could have stopped all of it, but I didn’t because I didn’t want to reveal myself.People died because of me.Where I go, death follows.”

“Kara… you know that’s not true.”

“I don’t know that, but I really love you for thinking it.”Kara nods resolutely and gestures to the pilot’s seat.“Now do you want to fly or should I?”

“I’ve got it.”Lucy’s voice startles Kara enough that she jumps out of the way as the woman eases passed her to her preferred chair.“And for the record I agree with Winn.You’re being _way_ melodramatic and that’s Alex’s job.”

Heart pounding, Kara glances between Lucy and Winn, expecting some sort of explanation to fall from the sky.Winn, however, looks just as confused as she is and, floundering, Kara can only squeak out a barely audible, “What?”

“It’s _my_ job.”And the sound is so unexpectedly beautiful that Kara nearly cries on the spot, her body freezing as she tries not to get her hopes up.Because this can’t be real.There’s no way that this is what she thinks it is.

Steeling herself, she turns, tears stinging her eyes when she sees Alex standing in the hall.

Her Zhao is back in clean clothes, looking much more put together than the last time Kara had seen her.The black pants and shirt combo reminding Kara of when they’d first met.Alex shuffles, her boots kicking against each other as she pulls at the long sleeves hanging around her fingers.

“How… how much of that did you hear?”Not that it really matters.Kara’s never really tried to hide what Alex means to her, but she also doesn’t want to force the Rebel Commander into anything.When Alex comes to her, she wants her to come on her own terms.

“Just the last bit.”Lucy answers.“Where you were droning on about how your responsible for the death of a thousand stars.”

“She didn’t say that.”Winn defends, “mostly.What are you doing here anyway?”

“You summoned me little man.And, like a Titan from below I have emerged.”

Realizing she’s still staring at Alex and not quite understanding what’s happening, Kara swallows.“You said… Lucy said we could take the Ebon Hawk and you… you promised we could borrow it.If we ever had to part ways.”

“If you thought you couldn’t work with us.”Alex confirms gently, seemingly just as unable to pull her gaze from Kara as Kara was from her.“I remember.”

She’s so heartbreakingly beautiful.

“I know.I _know_ I can’t work with you I—Alex, it’s safer for you and your team to stay here.To help rebuild.”

“Yeah.”Alex sighs, scratching at the back of her head with one hand.“Yeah… I don’t really feel like being safe.”

Kara’s jaw clicks, the muscles straining against each other as her agitation grows.“You said if we chose not to partner with you, then we could borrow the Ebon Hawk.”

“I did.I just may have forgotten to mention that the Hawk comes with a crew.”

Tears sting Kara’s eyes and she shakes her head.“ _Alex_.”

“This isn’t just you’re fight Kara.We all lost.”Alex takes a step closer to her and Kara retreats until her back hits the wall.Alex stops but doesn’t leave and Lucy begins flicking switches to get them airborne.“Hey, I get it.I feel like shit too but Lucy and I… we’re not leaving you alone.Not when you keep getting yourself into a shit ton of trouble.”

“I can take care of myself.”

“I know you can.You’ve saved my ass enough times for me not to need any proof of your abilities.”Alex shrugs and ducks her head, a hint of red on her cheekbones as one hand reaches over to grasp the opposite elbow. If it were anyone else, Kara would think they were embarrassed.But this was Alex.And Alex was as cool as they come.Still, when warm brown eyes look back up at her, Alex nibbling her lower lip, Kara’s never seen her look more out of sorts. “But I play the long game too Kara.”

The words make Kara’s heart stop, and her breath catches in her throat.She coughs to clear the obstruction, trying valiantly to stave off a breakdown at what she thinks Alex is saying.Because prior to this, Alex hadn’t really shown any hint of returning her feelings.To be fair, Alex didn’t really show emotion very well, but Kara had started to content herself with just being able to be around her Zhao.

But now…

To have her words used on her like that, so unexpectedly but as though Alex had no problem whatsoever saying them… Kara’s just a little taken aback.

And very confused.

Lucy’s head pops up over the seat, eyes darting around the people in the room.“Cap and I have decided to keep you.No returns.Whaddaya say?”

The heat of Alex’s gaze is still warm on the side of her face and Lucy is looking at her with an expression coated in mischief and friendship and Alex is _here._ Alex had come back to her. _For_ her.

She’d come back.

“Ok.”She whispers, eyes latching on Alex’s once more.Something inside of her resolves itself and her head bobs of its own accord as Alex’s mouth ticks up in that adorable barely there smile.“Ok.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright.
> 
> Eliza is dead and Alex was (is?) in denial about it. Those grief stages they always tell you about? Those are real and Alex gets to explore most of them in this little drabble of mine. Strap in.
> 
> Then we FINALLY get to see Kara's perspective! And, with this newfound world view, we will also get some backstory and a lot more flashbacks. Someone said Kara would blame herself and they were right! The reason Kara always wears the suit is because theoretically, as a twin and a force user, Kaznia could track her anywhere, anytime. Kara can track Kaznia too but that means opening herself up to be tracked and well... we saw how not ready she is for that final confrontation. So if the suit comes off, her connection to the Force, a very strong connection, is basically broadcast across the galaxy.
> 
> Now, you and I know that Kaznia doesn't remember Kara and therefore couldn't really track her unless the Cisar gave her express orders to. Why he hasn't done that and what Kara knows will be revealed as we continue. A lot of Kara is answered in the next chapter.
> 
> Lucy comes by to help Alex mope and Alex decides to be productive and sad rather than just sad. We'll see how that works out for her.
> 
> Alex says goodbye to J'onn and Nia but don't worry, we see them again. I got real emotional writing Alex and J'onn. I love their dynamic and it was important for me that Alex have that same ability to drop her walls with J'onn as she does for Kara. Also, grief doesn't eliminate your ability to be a person (even though it can feel like that) so it was also important to show that the growth we had already seen happening in Alex, with her allowing her sense of humor to show and not taking things quite so seriously, would continue. She's a good kid, she's got this.
> 
> And then Kara and Winn. Sneaking off into the night without nary a goodbye. For shame. That bumper convo was actually one of the first things I jotted down. Poor Kara. Luckily Alex and Lucy break in and give her a healthy dose of common sense.
> 
> "I play the long game too." Swoon.
> 
> And that also brings me back to Eliza. Her death is not meaningless I promise; I needed to get Alex to a different place mentally and she was the best way to get it done.
> 
> To be fair, I killed her before my own loss so it wasn't a selfish thing so much as a writing tool. Think about what would break your character; then do it. I couldn't kill Kara for obvious reasons and Jeremiah was used in my last story. It was Eliza's turn for a spotlight moment and even though she's dead, it's not the last we'll hear from her.
> 
> I think that covers it so let me know what you think.
> 
> I'm going to try Monday updates from now on and see how I feel/ if it's sustainable.


	19. Ch 17: She Keeps My Heart From Getting Broken

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kara comes clean; Alex... tries.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was playing Assassins Creed and somehow time went by... that's my story and I'm sticking to it. But I will give my greatest efforts to respond to reviews starting today (tonight?). I'm gonna get back on track.
> 
> This is more build; I think we get the huge chunk of Kara's backstory (And some from Kas') and some more fallout from Yavin. Adventure time will recommence in the chapter after next.
> 
> Song: We Hold Each Other- Great Big World

Astra’s face is tense, her entire body a line of rigidity that sets Kaznia on edge.Not that she’ll let that show.

Weakness was death.

_Fear_ was death.

“Do not worry for the boy.”Astra murmurs, her voice so low that even Kaznia has trouble picking it up.Her lips have barely moved.“He will be hidden.Do not mention him.”

Kaznia allows her head to dip, a barely-there acknowledgement of Astra’s loyalty.

Astra who had gotten her to Korriban, a planet whose alignment with the Dark Side was able to replenish her stolen energy.

Who had shielded her from the embarrassment of falling before her forces.

Without whom, Yavin would have been lost to them much sooner.

She is grateful.

And angry.

That woman.

The one from her dreams.

_Alex_.

Resourceful doesn’t even begin to explain the tactics that this Alex had utilized.She had singlehandedly wiped out nearly a quarter of Kaznia’s troops before they had even made contact with the main body of the rebellion.And Kaznia had seen what she had done to Astra’s lightsaber; before Yavin she hadn’t even known such a thing was possible.

Before Yavin, no one outside of her Master had _ever_ managed to draw blood on Kaznia.

And then that Jedi _scum…_

So now Kaznia is kneeling in a stone cave awaiting the arrival of her Master, her only consolation that she had been successful in destroying the ship and the hardware that her Master had ordered her to.Brainiac’s machine was safe, and she had dealt the rebels a crippling blow.By her count, she had taken out at least three of their precious Jedi.

But she had still failed.

She had still lost.

And she wonders what could have possibly happened on Yavin.What had been different?And what had that bitch _done_ to her?

There had been something inside of her, some connection or strand that had become… _infected_ is the only word that seems to fit.She was a Master of the Force; the Dark Side a road long cherished and controlled.On Yavin, after that woman had attacked her, she’d felt that road begin to crumble.The stone blocks that she had relied on for so long loosening and shifting under her feet.

And it wasn’t because of _Alex_ , though Kaznia’s mind is already at work trying to come up with ways to combat such tactical brilliance.

No.

It was all because of some Jedi with her face.

Kaznia’s _face._

Who the hell was she?

Astra grabs her jaw, prying open her mouth and stuffing a red tablet under her tongue.Her second grasps the back of her neck and shakes her, Astra’s brow lowered heavily.Kaznia has known this woman almost as long as she can remember, and she has never seen her this serious.

Fear was death.

Fear was death; fear was death; fear was death.

Her chin trembles and she clenches her teeth as hard as she can to stop it.

“No matter what happens,” Astra whispers, “you must not lose yourself.Not again.”Astra’s fingers dig into her neck; Kaznia allows herself to shut her eyes.Just for a second.“Protect yourself Little Star.”

And then Astra’s gone from in front of her, dropping back to stand along the cavern wall as Cisar Mobius makes his entrance.It gives Kaznia no time to put any thought into Astra’s words; no time to pick apart the visceral longing that had swept through her at that name.Astra had _never_ called her that before.No one had.

She wants to know why it feels so familiar but all she can do is bow her head and await her Master’s creed.

“You have embarrassed me, Lord Kaznia.”Mobius states, his boots coming to rest at the very edge of her vision.There’s a long stretch of silence, Kaznia remaining quiet when she is not prompted to speak.The tablet that Astra had forced upon her is dissolving in her mouth and sedating her enough that she can barely make out the light footsteps that have come to surround her.Mobius’ steps away from her, his voice fading the further away he gets.“But that was not your fault.You are… incomplete.The Nathemian’s will rectify that.”He stops; everyone stops.“In the meantime, I will complete the work on my machine and crush what is left of the rebellion.You have done _very_ well Lord Kaznia.The Legion thanks you for your service.”

Kaznia’s body shudders, her eyes widening as a lit candle is placed in front of her and the chanting starts.

“General.”Mobius commands, “your presence is not required for this.”

Then everything Kaznia knows is lost in the Force, the only thing she can hold onto is Astra’s last words.

_Protect yourself Little Star._

So she does.

~*~

“So, you’re a Jedi.”Lucy deadpans, sitting astride a backwards chair in the kitchen.“That’s neat.”

They’ve finally entered orbit and are on their way to the smuggler’s moon.It’s a prime opportunity to finally get to known each other better.To clarify some details.

Watching Kara’s face closely, Alex lifts her mug and takes a sip of the brandy infused tea she had made.Lucy had been among the people who’d been closest to the fires and so her voice was a little scratchy.Alex had been a useless mess while Lucy had been searching for survivors and digging graves.

So now she’d made tea.

And she was hoping that the tea, unlaced, would alleviate at least some of the soreness for her friend.Her own cup had required the extra kick.

“I am.”Kara confirms, wincing and glancing at her guardians.“But not in the way you think.”

Diana looks like she’s swallowed a lemon, but Cat just looks watchful.Like she’s prepared to step in if things aren’t going her way but that until that time, she’s fine with letting Kara handle the situation.

Not that Alex blames them very much; she’d be skeptical too, if someone she loved was baring it all.

Still, this was necessary.

“Are you a Sith?”Lucy asks indifferently, sipping her own tea.

Kara bristles.“No.”

“She’s not a Sith or even a Jedi.”Winn admits nervously, eyes darting around between the people in the room.He’s probably wishing his boyfriend were out here, but alas James is still out cold in the med bay.Alex had checked on him and started using intermittent bursts of electrotherapy to stimulate his brain.She’d need to pay him another visit soon, but until then they needed answers.“Those are opposing forces and Kara… doesn’t like to pick a side.”

“But you’re on our side.”Alex clarifies, setting down her mug and crossing her arms.“You’ve been on our side.”

“I’m on your side.”Kara confirms, looking directly at Alex.Something about her eyes settles something in Alex’s chest, and she relaxes her stance.“But I’m not exactly on the side of the Jedi Council or even the Republic.I’ve been honest about that.I want to end the war; I don’t think either side is right.”

“Even after what you saw on Yavin?”Lucy grunts in disgust.“You’re still sympathizing with them?”

Kara exhales noisily but doesn’t look away from Alex.“When me and my sister were born, the Guild’s on Krypton went into an uproar.Normally, the birthing matrix would need some sort of activation; we called it the life force of Rao and it was only granted when a couple donated their DNA to the matrix for gene encoding.Only, for some reason, my sister and I were born out of cycle when Rao would have been asleep.There wouldn’t have been any way we could have been blessed by him.They thought we were anomalies.Until Antiope came.”

“My master,” Diana starts, clearly taking over the story.“ _Was_ a Jedi.A master who sat on the council for almost three centuries.The Force would often speak through her and it was in this way that we came to know of the birth of the twins _through_ the force.”

“What do you mean _through_ the Force?”Lucy asks.

“I mean what I said.For those who require a mother/father explanation: the twins have only a mother.Alura In-Ze; their father, Zor El never made it to the matrix.”

“The… Force is… your dad?”Lucy looks beyond skeptical but somehow none of this is throwing up any red flags for Alex.

“I believe it would be more accurate to say that her “dad” is the Force.”Cat argues, her voice fading to the background as Alex watches Kara squirm under the attention.“Although I don’t see why we need to involve a man at all, the Force may very well be female.Or sexless.”

If it had been anyone else maybe Alex would have been more doubtful. 

But this is Kara.

And she’s the purest person Alex has ever met.If anyone was going to be a Force baby, it would be her.

“So what does that mean?”Lucy questions, “that you’re just super powerful?”She snorts.“You’re a Super girl?”

“Super _woman_.”Winn corrects hotly before yelping when Cat flicks his ear.

“The terms can be interchangeable Winslow.Be a better ally.”

It’s weird watching them, Alex thinks detachedly.It’s like she’s here but not.She feels like she should be saying more here.A quick sweep of her mind brings up nothing.There are very little questions in her mind for Kara; she can figure out most of it.The rest kind of seems… pointless.

“A little.”Kara admits to Lucy quietly, “but—when I was baby Antiope took me from my family and brought me to the Jedi Temple on Coruscant.It was there that I and my sister began our training.It was also where we lost _everything._ ”Sighing and rubbing at the space between her eyebrows, Kara pushes off the wall and leans instead on the counter in front of Alex.“There was a… prophecy.”

“A prophecy?”

Kara nods, reaching out with one hand to Alex.It takes her longer than is warranted but eventually Alex understands she’s meant to offer her hand in turn.Kara releases a breath when Alex does reach out, her fingers easily weaving through Alex’s and squeezing.

The squeeze is like a click in Alex’s brain; like Kara has just pulled her out of a bowl of molasses.It hurts and she fights the urge to wince.

“Antiope saw that there would be a set of twin girls born of the same seed.One would be unremarkable and the other would be a force for the dark side… two guesses about which one I am.”

“Clearly that’s wrong,” Alex argues softly, the room around them having gone startingly silent.“You are anything but unremarkable Kara.”

Blushing, Kara ducks her head, breaking the eye contact that she had brokered when she’d approached.She keeps her hand in Alex’s though which means Alex has to stay out of the molasses and in the pain and Lucy uses the opportunity to stand and glare at the two of them.

“Knock it off with the lovey-dovey. What kind of prophecy claims a nobody and a Sith Lord?What are we supposed to do with that?”

“Well, according to the prophecy,” Kara haltingly explains, “I’m not exactly a nobody. _One will be the weapon of the dark side, the other its destruction._ If Kassandra is the weapon, then I’m the destruction.The only person who can stop her—stop the Sith, is me.”

“Huh.”Lucy sounds, drawing out her clear skepticism complete with squinty eyes and jutting jaw.“Cap and I don’t believe in prophecies.”

Kara blinks, her eyes leaving Alex’s to gawk at Lucy.“What?”

“It’s true.”Alex confirms, using her free hand to rub at her temple.“There’s too much margin for error that something’s been misinterpreted and, honestly, most of the people who have these visions are drunks or on drugs.”

“I…”Kara flounders, mouth opening and closing comically until Diana steps in.

“While I admire your skepticism, this is something that was written before their birth.Surely _you_ can believe in what is directly in front of you.”

“Maybe.But there’s also the small factor of you and this Antiope taking Kara and her sister off of Krypton.”Alex shrugs, words spilling out of her brain without her actual consent.Like she was two sperate people.Her brain and then the empty husk that Kara’s barely keeping above water. “Who’s to say Kassandra would have turned to the dark side if she’d remained ignorant of her abilities.For all intents and purposes, you may have fulfilled the prophecy simply by believing in it.”

Diana’s mouth drops open and Cat looks impressed, her arms folding over themselves as she takes Alex in.

Alex ignores both of them and tugs Kara’s hand to regain her attention.

“What happened to Kassandra?”She asks, feeling weird calling the woman who had murdered half of Yavin by her real name.Especially a name so pretty as Kassandra.“How did the Sith get their hands on her?”

Lowering her eyes, Kara bites her lip and scrubs a hand over her face.“That was my fault too…”

~*~

_“Evacuate the younglings.” Master Wayne orders softly._

_From within her year mates, Kara feels a hand reach out and squeeze her own.She quickly looks over at Kas, her twin’s eyes worried and already filmed over with tears._

_“I’m scared.” Kas admits in a whisper, watching as her teachers leave the room to meet the Sith assault on the Temple._

_“Don’t be.I won’t let anything happen to you.El Mayarah.”Kara promises, forcing a bravado that she doesn’t feel.It seems to work, because Kas nods and wipes her face, a look of determination overtaking her._

_“I’ve got your back.”Kas murmurs, tugging Kara in front of her when their caretaker starts leading them through a series of tunnels._

_A tall woman with close shorn hair, Master Tarth is quick in ushering them towards the back hallways.“Keep up; we need to get to the ships and—”_

_Her words are cut off when a lightsaber appears through her mouth.She chokes.Once. Twice._

_Her body falls with a resounding thud._

_The other children scream and Kara clutches Kassandra’s hand tighter._

_“Kas!”_

_“Together!”Kassandra yells, thrusting her hand out._

_As one, the small group follow her lead, thrusting their hands out and calling upon the Force.The Sith warrior that had attacked their counselor is thrown back into a pillar, their back colliding with a thump before they slump down listless.It would have been easy to pick off a bunch of inexperienced kids, but Kara’s year group had been training for almost a decade.Alone they’d stand no chance against a trained Sith but together?_

_Kara releases Kassandra’s hand, running over to the fallen warrior and grabbing up their lightsaber from the floor.It hums to life in her hand and she backs up to her fellows._

_“We have to keep going.”She cups Kassandra’s cheek, latching onto her as if the others aren’t even in the room.“We get to the ships and we leave ok?”_

_“But Kal-El.Mother made us promise…”_

_The building shakes and the children scream, clutching at each other as Kassandra shushes them impatiently._

_“We need to be quiet!”Kas orders, trying and failing to calm the small crowd._

_Unfortunately, her warnings come too late._

_A few seconds later there are two Sith warriors bearing down on them, and the screams only get louder.Some of the kids try to fight back, using their fledging connection to the Force to try to outmaneuver their older, darker counterparts._

_Kara goes to join them, to defend their home, but Kassandra grabs her before she can take so much as a step in their direction.Ducking between her peers and pulling Kara to an escape, Kas forces her older twin to leave the Sith to their massacre._

_The sound of the lightsabers and cut off screams makes Kara cry but Kas doesn’t let her stop.She has no idea how long they run for but eventually Kassandra pulls them into a small alcove and ducks down._

_When she glances out into the passage, Kara can see why.There are two large men in white armor patrolling the exit._

_“Kas, I love you.”_

_She knows it’s a silly thing to say; the Jedi had tried over and over again to teach them that such attachments were a one-way path to the dark side.They’d even gone so far as trying to separate them but the connection between the twins was unstoppable. No matter where one went or was sent, the other always managed to find them._

_No matter how many barriers the Jedi had tried to put in front of them._

_It had meant that they couldn’t show their affection though; a feat that Kas found a lot simpler than Kara who had never quite fit in amongst the Jedi.They said she felt too fiercely._

_Kas said they were stuffy old idiots and that Kara could feel however she wanted to feel._

_If this is going to be their last few moments alive, Kara needs her to know that no matter what the Jedi had tried to force upon them, their teachings would never eliminate Kara’s love._

_“Listen to me Little Sun,” Kas cups her cheek again, pressing her forehead against Kara’s.“The blood of the House of El runs through our veins; we are the honored descendants of Astra In-Ze.This is nothing.Ok?”_

_The reminder of their Aunt gives Kara strength; in all of this, Astra stayed the revered hero of both twins.She’d somehow managed to be there for them more than their own mother.Thinking of her, of dishonoring the legacy that she had built, is unacceptable.Kara might very well die here but with Rao as her witness, Kara would do everything in her power to make sure Kas made it out._

_So she nods, shaky as it as and clutches at Kassandra’s robes.“I’ve got your back Little Star.”_

_“Ok.”Kassandra whispers just as unsteadily, pulling away and waiting for Kara to meet her gaze.“Here’s what we’re going to do.”_

_It had been a simple plan._

_Kassandra would distract the guards long enough for Kara to sneak passed and go to get Kal-El.Kas was fast, and the Force powers the twins shared allowed them to teleport to one another at will.All Kara would need to do is get to a ship._

_Then Kassandra would join her._

_Her twin was faster and had more discipline.It made sense that she would be the one to lead the two oafs away.If Kara had made the attempt, there was every possibility that Kas would be too slow and another group would catch up with her.Or worse… she’d lose control again._

_Neither possibility was something Kara wanted to entertain so she agreed to Kassandra’s plan._

_It had been simple._

_Except when Kara had helped lead a group of stranded humans to a ship, baby Kal-El in her arms, they had panicked.They’d started fighting almost immediately, shutting the hatch and taking off into space.The Jedi Temple had been all but destroyed at that point and no matter how much Kara fought against them, yelled at them that they had to go back for Kassandra, they wouldn’t listen._

_They dismissed her and called her names._

_They’d still been arguing with her when a Tie Fighter got off a lucky shot and managed to crack the glass on the large windshield._

_It had honestly been Kara’s fault.She’d been the first one to get physical.She’d shoved them first.It was just unlucky that when she was shoved in turn, a small crack into the vacuum of space had been created directly behind her._

~*~

“And they _left_ you there?”Lucy seethes, fists clenched on top of the counter.“Just like that?”

“The Fleet was still concerned with destroying the remaining Jedi.”Kara explains hollowly, feeling Alex drop her other hand on top of Kara’s and squeeze from both sides.“Everyone was focused on getting away.”

“They left her there.”Winn confirms, his voice just as rage filled as it had been that day.Kara remembers him yelling at the adults, cursing them all as one by one they fled to the escape pods.In a desperate gambit, it had been _Winn_ who had jumped them away from the Sith fleet.

And straight into the phantom zone.

“Is that when you got stuck in the black hole?”Alex asks softly, leaning down so that she’s once again eye level with Kara.It’s the most aware Kara’s seen her since…If talking about herself will help bring Alex back to this plane of existence, she’ll do it all day.“You said that you were stuck there for a while.”

“Yeah.We were trying to get to Krypton… we didn’t know they’d gone there first.”Kara snorts and shakes her head.“Not like it matters.We overshot it anyway.”

“ _I_ overshot it.”Winn grumbles.“I’m the reason we were there.”

Kara ignores him; they’d had this argument too many times to count by now.“We spent almost fifteen years in the Phantom Zone, but we got out when we finally figured out the hyper drive.”She has to close her eyes, the painful memories bearing down on her hard and fast.Honestly, she hadn’t expected to have to explain this.There had been little doubt in her mind that Alex would stay on Yavin and they wouldn’t need to rehash any of this.Feeling the warmth of Alex’s hands surrounding her own, Kara can’t say she’s complaining about her current options.

Opening her eyes, she firms her resolve and straightens her posture.“We went to Krypton first of course.Being stuck in time, we had no idea what had happened and when we got there… it was all gone.So we went looking for Kal and… well you know what happened then.”

“That’s when Cat found us.” Scooting over to Cat’s side, Winn nudges her gently with his shoulder.Cat gives him a look but sighs and wraps an arm around his shoulders.Cat had never been very affectionate, but Winn and Kara had been so touch starved that she’d had to adapt.Her hug now gives Winn the strength he needs to continue.“We were pretty much orphans at that point.My mom was one of the ones who got left on Coruscant during the escape and we’d missed the last decade of history.Clark being an asshole and basically telling us to get lost—”

“He didn’t tell us to get lost.”Kara interrupts, glaring at her friend before looking back at Alex imploringly.“He didn’t tell us to get lost.He was with his family and he asked if he could meet us after their dinner.”Feeling her shoulders droop, Kara can’t really help the feeling of loss that comes over her.“I’d agreed but I had already made up my mind that I wouldn’t disturb him.He was happy and he was safe and… that’s what my mother asked of me.To make sure he was happy and safe.My absence had accomplished that.I couldn’t guarantee that my presence wouldn’t have the opposite effect.”

Alex looks at her for a long time, focusing on her to the exclusion of all others.And the moments that stretch between them feel weighted.As if whatever is going on in Alex’s head will be the deciding factor for _them_.Kara’s just started to have hope that there could be a _them._ She’s not about to let that slip through her fingers.Not after everything she’s already lost.Not after everything _Alex_ has already lost.

So much had already been taken from them and Eliza’s death was still fresh and aching.If Alex thought Kara had deceived her—betrayed her… she hadn’t.She never would.And no matter how much this war took from them, Kara wanted Alex to know that she would be here.Always.

“I never lied to you Alex.Not once.I may have… omitted but I didn’t know who you were at first.I do now and… I’m not a Sith.Or a Jedi.Antiope and Diana follow The Code, but I can’t.”This next part is probably the hardest and, as much as Kara wants to, she can’t maintain eye contact.It would hurt too much if Alex didn’t understand.If she pulled away.“The Jedi took everything from me; I can’t follow an ideology that would risk the lives of millions.”

Glancing up, she sees Alex’s face has clouded over, her eyes narrowing under hunched brows.

“The Jedi are the good guys.”Lucy says from her left, “they’re the only reason the Republic is still breathing.”

“The Jedi,” Kara contests, still looking at Alex, “take children from their homes when they’re babies.They raise them up on their beliefs and practices with little to no interaction or input from their families.And then if their students question their teachings or think things can be done in a different way, they’re automatically questioned as a Dark Jedi.As if simply disagreeing with the Jedi Council is a sin.Do you want to know who chose _not_ to respond to the distress calls from Krypton?Distress calls that were still sounding for _weeks_ after the planet was destroyed?”

Sighing, Diana finally speaks up, her argument tried and flat as always.“The Council believed that Krypton’s destruction was its own making.No one knew back then that the Sith were harnessing the power of a star.Sending ships out to assist a planet at war with itself would have led to many Jedi falling prey to the dark energies that such as catastrophe would have surely unleashed. The Force did not will it.You’re allowing your personal feelings to cloud your judgement.”

“This _was_ personal.”Kara grits, glaring at Alex’s shoulder.“And maybe if they allowed their students to know what emotions were, then they wouldn’t be so susceptible to the dark side.”

“Hey.”Alex urges, raising one hand and cupping Kara’s cheek.Kara shudders under her hand, her eyes burning hot enough that she closes her eyes.Alex strokes a thumb over her brow, and she shudders again.“Hey, we’re all on the same team here.As much as I respect the Jedi, Lucy and I both know what assholes they can be.”

It takes another second for her eyes to lose the heat and for Kara to regain confidence to open them.When she does, Alex doesn’t look quite so stormy.Her eyebrows are back to their normal position and, although her mouth is pinched, her eyes are incredibly warm.Kara has been a lot in love with those eyes for months now.

To be fair, it might also have something to do with her obsession with chocolate, and the light’s ability to make the brown in Alex’s eyes resemble it.But they’re just… warm.Every time Alex looks at her, Kara just feels warm.

The Rebel Commander straightens, her fringe dropping in her face and forcing her to drop her hand from Kara’s cheek so she can push it back.It’s yet another thing Kara has always liked.Alex’s hair is just… cool.It’s a short bob, the ends just barely falling passed her chin. One thing Kara has learned about Alex and her hair: the brunette _hates_ having it in her face and is _constantly_ pushing it back.It’s a great source of entertainment but it also makes Kara yearn for the day where maybe Alex wouldn’t mind _her_ pushing it back.

Lucy knocks on the counter and Kara jerks, glancing guiltily over at her smirking friend.Rao; Alex had just lost her mom and here Kara was perving? “I guess the obvious question is, if you’re not a Sith and you’re not a Jedi but you can use the Force… what are you?”

Taking in a shaky breath, Kara swipes a hand over her face.

Again.

“The Sith believe that the Force is a tool for them to use.”Kara huffs, drained by this conversation and the repercussions that might come from it.“The Jedi believe that _they_ are the tool through which the Force speaks. _I_ believe neither **.** The Force exists and so do I; I can’t bend it to my will any more than it can bend me.”

“Well…” Lucy says after a short stretch of shocked silence, “I guess that’s fair.”

“I should think so Major Lane; I’m the one who taught her that.”Her own confident smile in place, Cat gives Kara a fond look.“When Diana came to me wanting to continue Kara’s training, I knew that we’d have to compromise.Having someone as powerful as Kara _not_ trained could lead to her hurting herself.But she’d already told me how she felt about the Jedi and their rather… stuffy ways.”

“Cat fought for me.”Kara affirms with her own smile.“She’s the reason I’m here today.”

Nodding at Cat, Alex’s lips tick into an exhausted ghost of a smile. As if the strain of moving even those small muscles is too much effort.“Then I owe you my thanks.”

Kara’s heart trips all over itself.

“I am sorry though.”Kara says quietly, looking back down at her and Alex’s joined hands.“I should never have held myself back on Yavin.Not when I saw that Kassandra was already there.If I had—It was my fault.I’ll never be able to change that and… whatever punishment you need to levy against me… I understand.”

Alex releases a long-suffering sigh and jerks her chin at Lucy.A second later Kara gets beamed in the face with an ice cube.

“Hey!”

“Well that’s what you get for being a moron.”Lucy sasses, holding up her hand to Alex for a high five.

Easily granting the hand gesture, Alex turns back to Kara and gently disentangles their fingers.“I’m not a judge or a jury and neither is Lucy.If you’re looking for clemency, neither of us are qualified to give it.We’ve made our own share of mistakes that we still need to atone for.But I’ll tell you what I told Nia: without you there, more people would have died. _I_ would have died.”

“Cap and I do equations.”Lucy says, “and if we remove you from this equation, then the whole thing goes to shit.”

“They wouldn’t have been there if I wasn’t though.Kas can track me through the Force.That’s why I wear the suit but… I took it off.That’s probably how she was able to find Yavin.”

“But!”Leaping forward, Winn holds up one finger to stave off any attacks.Not that Lucy or Alex look ready to put up a fight, they’re both still wearing rather exasperated expressions.“She only did that to heal you.Through the Force.”

“The Agents of Liberty.”Alex sighs, squinting at the ceiling and shaking her head.“You made me believe that was my doing.”

“It was!”Kara insists, “it’s just… well your doing didn’t really work.”

“Man, you’re whipped.”Lucy sighs.She turns to Alex with an eye roll.“Now that the history lesson is out of the way, can we get on with a plan?”

~*~

“Wait that’s it?”Kara asks, looking back between Alex and Lucy as though they’ll spontaneously combust.“You’re not like mad?”

“We’re pissed.”Lucy says, “just not at you.The plan Cap?”

Right.

That was her gig, right?

First things first.

“We’ve got two main objectives.The first is to somehow get back the data that was on Winn’s hard drive.We can’t end the war without knowing where this weapon is.Too much time has passed; for them to have chased after us like this means that we’ve still got time to stop them.We destroy the weapon and the Rebels will actually have a chance at fighting back.”

Winn nods, “I know a few smugglers on Nar Shadaa.I was hoping to make contact with them and—”

“No.”

“No?”

Lucy shakes her head and repeats herself.“No.The people you know are probably lame.We’ll go with my contacts.”

“ _You_ know people on Nar Shaddaa?”Kara questions skeptically.

“Just the important ones.”

“Try Felicity first.”Alex orders tiredly, drowsiness creeping up on her out of nowhere.

“You think Oliver’s still playing hero?”

“Um excuse me?”Kara raises her index finger.“Who are these people?”

Smirking, Lucy takes a long drink of tea.“That’s classified.”

They continue to banter but Alex leans back against the counter, running through the information she has just received.

If Kara is to be believed, and quite frankly Alex has learned that there hasn’t been a time where Kara _shouldn’t_ be believed, then she is one of the most powerful Force wielders in the galaxy.Probably topped only by her twin and even they might be on equal ground.

With the way Kara had described her escape from the Jedi Temple, it was little wonder that the woman in front of her hadn’t turned to the dark side herself.

Alex looks over at Cat, Kara’s supposed caretaker.

The blonde hair and green eyes almost make her resemble Kara a little, but Kara’s eyes are blue, and their facial structures are completely at odds.As are their clothing choices.Cat is clearly the more fashionable one amongst their group, even after having gotten thrown around in a small ship.

She’s small.Even in the heeled shoes she’s wearing, Cat barely comes above Alex’s shoulder.And her slight frame would scare absolutely no one.

But Winn had looked scared earlier and Kara bows to her like she wrote the instructions to the universe.

Whatever had led Kara away from following the path of the Sith, Alex has a feeling it has a lot to do with this woman.

She feels a gratitude she can’t even describe.

And not just because it had probably saved the galaxy, but also because it had saved _Kara._ Alex can’t imagine Kara as anything other than her bubbly, optimistic self but after hearing the whole story she realizes how close she came to never even meeting Kara.

At least not Kara as she is now.

It makes Alex’s arms ache with wanting to hold her.Unfortunately, in that ache she also finds the extremely fresh wound of Eliza’s death.She slams a hand over her eyes when she feels her breath stutter.

Fuck.

Not here.

“Cap?You ok?”

“Yeah.”Alex hisses, tilting her head back and holding her breath for a second.“Yeah.”

The emotional attack ends as quickly as it comes but Alex can feel it looming in the back of her mind.

“So we go to Nar Shaddaa.”She confirms quickly, shaking her head to clear it.“Get Winn’s supplies, talk to Felicity, and rebuild.”

“That’s one objective; you said there were two.”

Right.“Maggie.We still haven’t heard from her and with… The council isn’t in a position to send out a search team right now so we’re it.Nar Shadaa should also have some info on any captured Rebel soldiers.”

“Two for one.”Lucy asserts with a nod.

“Yep.”Alex nods quickly, pushing off the counter and waving carelessly.“I’m going to bed.”

Lucy startles.“But what about planning?We barely scratched the surface of this.”

“Yeah…”Alex agrees rubbing at her eyes.“Nar Shaddaa isn’t a big deal so we can just wing it?”

“Not a big deal?”Lucy repeats.“ _Wing_ it?”

She almost sounds insulted.Like Alex had let her down; like Alex had let everyone down and—

“We can go through it in the morning.”Diana suggests.“We still have time before we reach this planet and we could all do with some rest.”

Alex barely hears the mumbled agreements, choosing instead to mumble a quick “cool” and take her leave.

She’s made it all the way to her bunk when she realizes she’s been followed, Kara quickly grabbing her hand before she can close the door to her dorm.

“Alex…”

Rubbing her arm over her eyes, Alex tries to keep her voice as normal as possible when she replies.

She still sounds like a frog.

“Yeah?Did you need something?”

“No… I just…”Kara squeezes her eyes shut and shakes her head.“Sorry.I don’t know why I—sorry.”

When she spins to leave, Alex keeps a hold of her hand.

She’s not sure why, only that she’d promised Eliza that she would talk to her.And they’re about to go to the Smuggler’s Moon, a place notoriously dangerous for Rebels and Force users alike.Kara’s psychotic twin is hunting them down…

Alex doesn’t really have a lot of time to put this off anymore.

She doesn’t quite know how to ask what she wants to ask.Or she does but… it feels impossible to say the words.

What if she’s wrong?

“You keep apologizing but… I was distracted too.On Yavin.And Dragas.I put you and our team in danger both times because… I’ve been distracted and… _I’m sorry_ Kara.”

Kara’s brow’s furrow adorably, the crinkle over her nose becoming prominent once more as she absorbs this new piece of information.

“For being distracted?By what?”

“By you.”It’s easier to admit this if she just stares at Kara’s neck.There’s no way she’d be able to maintain eye contact.“By my… _feelings_ for you.”

Kara’s breath hitches and Alex feels very suddenly out of control.Before she can stop herself, she lifts her gaze to meet Kara’s head on.

She doesn’t regret it, thankfully.Kara’s eyes are swimming with tears, but Alex has known her long enough to know what that expression is.It’s want.Kara _wants_ her.

“I’ve never wanted to kiss a girl, but I wanna kiss you.I want to know what it’s like to kiss you.”Alex admits quietly, her own hold on her emotions fraying at the ends.“I want to hold you and just… I don’t know.I’ve never tried—” She shrugs self-consciously but Kara squeezes her hand hard enough to hurt so she continues.“But I just… hurt.My mom… I can’t do this right now.I can’t kiss you the way I want to kiss you and not be in pain.And when I kiss you Kara,” Alex sighs, and rubs her thumb along Kara’s knuckles, “I want you to know that I’m _only_ thinking about you.”

“Ok.”Kara says, voice rough and croaky.She drops Alex’s hand so she can hold her face instead.When Kara’s thumbs swipe under her eyes Alex realizes she’s already started to cry.“That’s ok.I’m not asking for any more than you can give.I can wait Alex.I’ll wait.”

Kara doesn’t sound regretful at all, but Alex still feels like such a failure.They haven’t even remotely talked about what is happening between them and, although this is definitely a good start, it’s also almost nothing.Because if she _is_ Kara’s Kryptonian soulmate or whatever, then that just means that Kara’s been waiting for _years._ And now Alex is asking her to wait even longer.Until she’s over her mother’s death which… when will that even be?

How was she being fair here?

“I’m sorry.”She whimpers, hates herself for sounding so weak.“I’m so sorry.”

Kara kisses her head, soft murmurs of reassurance escaping her mouth.“No Alex.No, you don’t have to be sorry.It’s ok.”Then Kara’s hugging her, her arms tight around Alex’s shoulders as she rocks them gently.Alex returns the embrace, fisting the back of Kara’s suit like that will somehow hold all the tiny pieces of her soul from falling completely out of reach; to a place Alex can never regain them.“Alex… I know that… we can wait.To talk about us but… I don’t want you to be alone right now.Can I—can _I_ hold _you_?”

~*~

Kara’s heart is thrumming as she lays next to Alex.The Rebel Commander hadn’t exactly let herself be held, so much as she’d allowed Kara to be held by her.

Apparently, Alex got skeeved out by being the little spoon.It was fine with Kara; she _liked_ being the little spoon.

And having Alex hold her while her strong Rebel broke… it was humbling, that Alex trusted her that much.That she didn’t mind Kara seeing her at her lowest.

Kara had wrapped her arms tight around Alex’s waist, buried her face in her shoulder, and held on.Her own heartbreak locked away inside of her.She’d been in Alex’s position, and no amount of words or platitudes would ease the pain of her loss.

When Kara had lost Kas and then seen Krypton… all she had wanted was a hug.

So that’s what she gives Alex.

Alex is sleeping now, finally spent after her break down, but Kara can’t sleep.

Alex, at least, had changed out of her gear, opting for a simple t-shirt and boy shorts combo to wear to bed.Kara wouldn’t make the mistake of taking off her suit again, but she figured that Alex wouldn’t have changed into her current outfit if she was uncomfortable with Kara looking.

Her :zhao didn’t strike Kara as someone who was very bashful when it came to nudity.

Not that Alex needs to be modest, the little Kara has allowed herself to see speaks of defined muscles and lean abs.Kara may be Kryptonian with a faster metabolism than most people but that doesn’t mean her weight doesn’t fluctuate.There are plenty of planets without a yellow sun, Nar Shaddaa being one of them since it’s technically a moon.There is a yellow sun in its orbit, but Kara’s abilities will definitely be dampened.If she’s not careful, she could easily gain forty pounds.She doubts even Alex would be able to keep her cool at that impressive sight.

As it is, Alex’s shirt has risen slightly in her sleep, revealing a stretch of black ink along her ribs and back.Kara allows herself a second of indulgence, her fingers tracing the outline of what appears to be a small girl enshrouded in a red and black cloud.

She flattens her palm over the child, as if her presence alone would protect her, and looks up into Alex’s face, troubled even in sleep.

Alex had said she’d wanted to kiss her.Kara tugs her shirt down to its original position and trails her hand up Alex’s side until she reaches her face, her mouth.

What would it be like to kiss Alex?

Her lips feel so soft under Kara’s fingertips and her arm, thrown haphazardly over Kara’s hip, is a solid presence of warmth.Kara imagines it would be gentle; Alex has always been so gentle with her.But her strong Rebel would probably be firm too, certain, once she’d found her footing.

Alex had said she’d never kissed a girl before, but Kara has.Kara has kissed lots of people.After Krypton, she’d been so certain that there would never be a :Zhao gifted to her that she’d gotten a bit rebellious.Cat had stemmed her explorations some, warning her that being curious was fine but being angry and curious could be detrimental.No matter how hard she tried, Cat had explained, physical intimacy would never fill the hole her losses had left behind.

Her curiosities had eventually tapered off when she’d found Cat’s words to be true, but she knew that in this relationship, she was the more experienced.She didn’t mind.Having someone as beautiful and caring as Alex as her Zhao was a gift that she wouldn’t trade for anything.

Besides, it’s not like Kara had ever been with someone who mattered.

They could learn together.

Alex had asked for time, and Kara would give her as much as she needed.Kara had barely spoken to Eliza while she’d been alive and around but had found her energy to be soothing… in a motherly way.Kara had a feeling that if Eliza hadn’t been so angry over her not handing over Brainiac’s data, they could have gotten along splendidly.

She wonders idly what would have happened if she _had_ given up the data when the council had asked.

She doesn’t think it would have ended well but she’s loathed to think of an eventuality that could be worse than this.Where Alex is overcome with pain at the slightest memory.

Kara wishes she could shoulder some of that hurt, that she could help her in some way.

She knows she can’t.

Tucking her head under Alex’s chin, she sighs and closes her eyes.

No matter how long Alex needs, Kara will be there.Even if they never do anything more than this, that will be enough.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright from the top:
> 
> Astra and Kaz:  
> Astra gave Kaz a sedative for anyone who didn't pick that up. Or rather a relaxant? It won't knock her out but it's definitely going to numb her to the world around her. Wonder why she needed that? And slight clue there- Astra does remember and so, as some of you already asked, what the fuck is she doin?!
> 
> I will also just tell you, Kaz is gonna be AWOL for a while. We'll get some flashbacks and short snippets but she's... gonna be unavailable mostly. …  
> …  
> …  
> :)
> 
> Kara:  
> Neither Jedi or Sith because she has a friggin conscience. Most Star Wars fans choose sides but I don't. When I was playing KOTOR, I was so pissed at the way the Jedi treated me. Don't get me wrong, I was 100000% a light side player but every time a Jedi opened their stupid mouth about how feelings lead to the dark side I just wanted to punt them into the sun. And then Kreia's crazy ass... let's just say I was a neutral party. And Kara is too. The closest I can get as a comparison would be Qui Gon except she would have rescued Shmee from slavery as well because guess what Liam Neeson? You don't just leave people in slavery!
> 
> Rant over.
> 
> Anyway, Kara's neutral in terms of party but still very much walks the path of the light. Lucy and Alex are not disillusioned by the Jedi. They obviously think they can do cool thigs but people like Haley and Leslie would have killed the allure for them right? J'onn would have been the only cool Jedi that Alex knew so she's not butt hurt over Kara's allegiances.
> 
> Then Lucy and Alex are also not that into prophecies. Go figure. The two military ladies don't believe that some fancy schmancy words dictate your life. Whoda thunk?
> 
> So both of those things throw Kara for a loop because this whole time Alex has been worried about what she feels for Kara and vise versa, Kara has been worried about how Alex and Lucy will handle her past and her truths. Spoiler: she did not expect a good reaction.
> 
> Kara and Kas:
> 
> The story of the Jedi Temple. It's pretty much Anakin slaughtering the younglings except it was a whole troop of Sith and the Jedi were actually *gasp* guarding the younglings. Or trying to. At least they didn't die as easily as the ones in Episode 2.
> 
> I'll point out a nugget here: Kara says something like, "or worse, lose control again." Remember I was talking about Vaylin? This won't be *major* but it will come up again.
> 
> Back to the convo:
> 
> Yes Diana was being nice and cutting that conversation short so that Alex could go cry in private.
> 
> Kara and Alex:
> 
> Alex confesses. Finally. At least a little. Mostly. Kind of. I mean confession to Maggie and … Kelly! Almost forgot her name. Her confession to them was kiss and, "I feel the same": kiss. Clearly she has a kissing thing and I couldn't leave it out. Also for some reason when I was writing that speech I couldn't stop thinking of George O'Malley from Grey's. RIP.
> 
> I cannot see Alex Danvers as anyone's little spoon. It's weird in my brain.
> 
> But if someone is going through a tough time... hugs help. So Alex gets some hugs and she gets to cry and she gets to feel all of the things.
> 
> Eliza is proud.
> 
> This begins Alex's sort of transformation. Kara's will come a little later (and smaller) and then, big bad time. 
> 
> Happy Reading!


	20. Ch 18: We Push Away the Unimaginable

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alex spirals in silence and then... well... not so silent. Kara steps up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok new plan: Sunday updates because this Monday thing is apparently too much work for my brain. Hence you're technically getting this on a Tuesday... My bad.
> 
> This is another emotional chapter, but good news its the last one where we focus on emotions as plot drivers. Next chapter we get back to taking on the Sith and stopping the Galactic Legion of Doom. Lol. See what I did there? I didn't know if you guys got the reference before but that's why they're not an Empire. Jajajaja. Ahem. Anyway.
> 
> Song: It's Quiet Uptown- Cast of Hamilton (Lin Manuel Miranda and Renee Elise Goldberry) Yes I am a Musical Theater nerd, this should not be news.

_When the hanger of M’gann’s ship opens, Alex is greeted with real sunlight for the first time in ages._

_It’s not nearly as comforting as she had thought it would be._

_It kind of burns._

_She throws an arm in front of her eyes, squinting against the brightness as M’gann, with a steady hand on her back, guides her out of the ship._

_“This is Yavin.”M’gann is saying.“It’s the heart of the rebellion and the home of your mother.”_

_Alex wants to tell her she doesn’t have a mother, a stubborn sense of pride making her internally scoff at the notion.But there’s another part of her, one she’d tried very hard to shove away for years that perks up; the idea of a mother, however unknown this new entity will be, causing a swell of new emotions to bloom in her chest.The least of which could only be described as excitement._

_She stamps it down; way to used to being disappointed to allow any hope to take root within her.Instead she allows M’gann to continue babbling about a woman named Eliza, a woman she had tried telling Alex about for days now.And it’s not that Alex hadn’t been paying attention it’s just…_

_She had no mother._

_Or father._

_Jeremiah had seemed kind, but Alex had been created by science.Her master had told her so._

_These people had the wrong girl and, as soon as they realized that, Alex would be back to being a slave.Maybe they’d make it easier and set her to work in this rather… dingy camp.She’s been in worse places but this one has nothing but dirt and makeshift tents.There are a few official looking structures, but they seem to be more for public use than anything.Whatever this Yavin place is, it’s obvious that it’s still heavily under construction._

_Alex is good with her hands._

_Maybe she can still make a place for herself here._

_M’gann leads them to a large white building at the heart of the camp, pushing open heavy wooden doors and interrupting what appears to be a very heated discussion between a group of adults.They all look up when Alex enters, a lanky teen with white blonde hair and dark eyes already scowling at her from next to a Togruta male._

_Alex doesn’t even fight the urge to duck behind M’gann as all of that attention is focused on her._

_There’s a hurried conversation that Alex barely catches.Something about everyone being dismissed, and then hurried footsteps.She presses her face into M’gann’s back and braces herself._

_“Come little one,” M’gann soothes, reaching behind her and gently tapping Alex’s head.“What did we say about fear?We are safe here.And this,” she waits for Alex to open her eyes, to take in the tall pretty woman with blonde hair and blue eyes.A woman who looks nothing like Alex.“Is your mother.Eliza Danvers.”_

_Eliza’s eyes are shiny and she’s younger than Alex had expected.Aren’t mothers supposed to be old?Thankfully, Eliza doesn’t try to touch her, just slowly lowers herself so that they’re the same height and offers a wobbly smile._

_“Oh.Oh, you’re so beautiful Alex.You look so like your father… can I hug you?”_

_It’s Alex’s first hug and she’s not quite sure what to do with her hands but Eliza doesn’t seem to mind.She’s crying now and whispering promises of home and food and a warm bed.There’s other stuff too but that’s what’s important to Alex.That and the sensation that came from being held by her… mother._

_Could clones have mothers?_

_Alex isn’t sure but if the answer is ‘no’ she’ll never admit to being a clone.Not if it means that she loses whatever this is._

_It’s warm and it doesn’t hit and it offers her food._

_Her arms come up of their own accord, trying awkwardly to mimic Eliza’s hold on her._

_She likes having a mother._

~*~

The Hawk is actually in worse shape then Alex had initially thought.The good news is that keeping her in one piece is a very good distraction from the emotions that sneak up on her throughout her days.

She’s just finished sealing another leak in the destroyed floor of the cargo area, the smell of burning metal enough of a deterrent that she doesn’t immediately pull off the welding gear on her face.It would be much more advisable to get back to the main area of the ship and then change into clothes that don’t smell like fire.

She taps the cloning chamber as she leaves, one of the things that had miraculously survived since it was strapped into the medbay at the time.With James unconscious and the probability for more injuries increasing exponentially as they continue their journey, it had been decided that moving the cradle into the cargo bay would be a good idea.

“See you later Dox,” she whispers softly, pulling her helmet off her head as the cargo doors lock behind her.

One task down, a million more to go.

Even though they had ironed out the details of their plan, and Alex agreed that Nar Shadaa would be their next best move, they hadn’t quite anticipated how damaged the Ebon Hawk truly was.

Darth Kaznia had almost ripped the ship in half, and Kara was a good engineer to be certain but Yavin didn’t have _half_ of the parts that would be needed to make a full repair.Nar Shaddaa would, but Nar Shaddaa was on the other half of the galaxy.In Hutt territory.

With the way the ship was mangled, they couldn’t risk a long distance jump like that at top speed.So they were cruising.And it was taking weeks instead of days.

Weeks where the Legion was extending their reach; weeks where Darth Kaznia could track Kara down for round 2.

It was really setting Alex on edge.

When she reaches her bunk, she sheds her gear and grabs the things she’ll need for a shower.The ship is fairly quiet, what with everyone being asleep.Kara’s still curled up in Alex’s blankets, her nose digging into the pillow in her arms as if she were cuddling Alex’s body.It’s adorable.Glancing at the clock, Alex hurries towards the shower.It’s still barely three in the morning. If she hurries, she can make it back to bed before Kara wakes up.

An odd thought considering just three hours ago she’d snapped awake and had wanted nothing more than to _escape_ Kara’s embrace.

At the time, she’d been more than a little overwhelmed.She hadn’t wanted to be touched and so she’d fled.

A good thing considering that when she’d checked the ship’s diagnostics, she’d discovered the leaking floor seam.It hadn’t been detrimental yet, but if it had ripped apart while they’d been asleep, the body count would have definitely increased.

And Alex has lost enough people to want to lose any more.

Eliza had shattered her, cast little pieces of Alex’s soul into the tornado that her mind had become.Sometimes Alex gets glimpses of herself, of the her she used to be before the battle of Yavin.Sometimes she’s envious of her former self; of her clear mind and tactical clarity.

Everything had been so simple then.

The her from before wouldn’t be wasting time going to Nar Shaddaa.The her from before would have cut ties with the Hawk, dropped it off somewhere to be repaired and requisitioned a new ship.She would have forced Kara to turn the bond on Kaznia, to track her twin this time.And then pointed Kara at the Sith like a weapon until they’d told Alex what she’d wanted to know.

Kara was capable and Alex was smart, and they could have done it.

It would have been easy.

When she gets to the end of that thought, when she realizes how _easy_ it would have been to turn Kara into an object for former Alex… she hates herself a little.

A lot.

It makes her shove those fragments away until she isn’t sure who she is anymore.

Alex has always been a rebel; her main goal to bring down the Sith and bring justice back to the Republic.She, Maggie, and Lucy had vowed to end the era of orphans and families torn apart by war by any means necessary.And then Maggie had left, and it had just been Alex and Lucy.

And now Alex…

She feels so lost.

Eliza would have known.

Eliza would have been ready with a motherly lecture and suntan lotion and her own form of fussy affection.

But Eliza is gone, and Alex is alone, and she needs to find a way to keep going.She’s a commander and everyone is looking to her to get them through this.Her own exhaustion is a minor nuisance in the grand scheme of things.

The hot spray of water _almost_ makes her want to stay in the shower, but the memory of sleeping beside Kara urges her to make quick work of cleaning herself up.Her mind is rarely this busy when Kara’s around, her presence somehow enough to soothe many of Alex’s demons.

Kara never questioned who Alex was; it seemed like she already knew even if Alex herself did not.

It’s still confusing, the feelings that Alex has for this woman.First and foremost because Kara _is_ a woman.Alex has been with a few guys and she wasn’t very favorable to the experience of cuddling.Those men had always been so hard, almost unbearably uncomfortable to try to bend herself around.Especially because she didn’t particularly like to bend herself to anything.

But they’d been the men and she’d just been an inexperienced woman who couldn’t make a relationship work.What had she known?

Sleeping with Kara— _beside_ Kara, is a completely different experience.

Kara is _soft_ and her body molds itself into all of the nooks and crannies of Alex’s being.It’s like someone filled an Alex mold with a warm, buttery substance that smelled like something sweet.Alex doesn’t have to bend around Kara, and Kara doesn’t have to fold under her.They just fit.

Like they were designed to be that way.

And Alex isn’t worried about her role in all of this; in worrying over what womanly or manly role Kara expects her to fill.Kara doesn’t seem to expect her to fill any role.Kara is seemingly content with Alex just being Alex and acting in whatever way she desires.

It’s a novel concept that Alex isn’t quite sure what to do with.

She hadn’t been lying to Kara when she’d said she wanted to kiss her and, lately, its all she can think about.Kissing her and doing a lot more.

But Alex had done the psych classes as Eliza’s dedicated pupil.She knew that at least some of her overactive libido was due to her mother’s passing and she didn’t want to taint Kara with that.She didn’t want to taint Kara with anything.

The whole situation was just completely fucked.

Alex was a scientist first and she liked to draw her conclusions based on concrete evidence and observations.

What she was observing right now was a very obvious attraction to Kara.Her body’s reactions to thoughts of the alien, and simply being in Kara’s presence were even more damning.

But Alex had only ever felt this way about _Kara_ , and she didn’t want to mess this up.Over twenty years of her life and this was the first time she’d actually desired anyone in this way.Jumping into sex because she’s horny and not because she wants to experience a connection with Kara seems like a monumentally bad idea.

Drying off quickly, Alex throws on her customary t-shirt and underwear before returning to her bunk.She’s found that sleeping like this over the years makes it much easier for her to throw on her gear in emergencies.It’s a habit that had formed for purely practical reasons, but Alex won’t deny that she’s really started to enjoy the way Kara’s eyes skim over her legs.Or the way the blonde’s hand always seems to find itself under Alex’s shirt, fingers dancing along Alex’s spine.

It’s another thing that has Alex feeling more strained than usual; the thought that if Kara’s hand feels this good _now_ , what would it feel like if she actually let Kara touch her?

Her thoughts, as usual, are always derailed by her mother.It feels wrong to be thinking about those kinds of things when Eliza had only recently passed.Alex knows its wrong to feel that way, but she can’t help it.She feels insanely guilty for even thinking about Kara in that way because she knows, with absolute certainty, that allowing herself to touch Kara the way she’s been wanting to touch Kara would make her incandescently happy.

And what right did she have to be happy when she’d allowed her mother to be murdered?Would Eliza be angry because it had been Kara’s family who had killed her?Alex wasn’t.Did that make her a terrible daughter?That she didn’t care that Kara was related to her mother’s murderers?

She sinks onto her bed, Kara ditching the pillow immediately in favor of sprawling on top of Alex’s chest.Alex folds her hands behind her head and stares up at the ceiling.

She’s exhausted.Arguing with herself is exhausting her.Missing her mother is exhausting her.And not allowing herself to be with Kara… that’s becoming painful.

~*~

Lucy corners her the next afternoon.Alex is tinkering again, her mind on the Kryptonian’s they had fought and Jedi force powers.Her red sun grenade had proven partially effective, but the time limits left a lot to be desired.And it wouldn’t change the fact that Darth Kaznia and Astra were both extremely powerful Force users.Alex had been arrogant when she’d said she could take them on.She would have barely lasted a minute on her own.

That had to be rectified above all else.

“Exactly how much sleep have you been getting?”

Or at least the “all else” part was in Alex’s opinion.Maybe not Lucy’s.

“What?”

“You were up all night last night.Myxy told me.”Lucy is standing in front of her table with crossed arms and a glower that makes Alex rest her hands near all of the pointy objects.Myx hovers at her shoulder and beeps in concern.

The traitor.

“I was not up _all_ night and there was a leak—”

“That you didn’t know of.”Lucy interjects.“You were already up, and it may have been a lucky coincidence that you managed to catch that in time but…”She deflates.“Alex, I’m worried about you.”

Which isn’t something that Alex had asked for or that she feels particularly equipped to handle.Her mind floats back to her projects and she realizes that her problem may be the catalyst reaction and her current inability to slow it down.

“Alex.”Lucy prompts, dragging her from her thoughts once again.

She blinks, realizes her eyes are dry and rubs at them.Swipes a tired hand over her face for good measure.

“You don’t need to be.”

“Do you see yourself?The only reason Kara isn’t hovering right now is because I told her I’d take on Alex Watch.”

“That’s not a thing.Please don’t make that a thing.”

Lucy scowls.“Don’t make me make it a thing.”

The idea of Kara and Lucy forming some sort of surveillance team for the sole purpose of watching her makes Alex’s stomach turn.It makes Eliza’s voice pop up in her head and all she can think about is the number of times Eliza had told her to take care of herself.She looks down at her hands, at the tiny cuts on her fingers from handling her instruments without gloves and feels shame.

All Eliza had ever asked of her had been that Alex take _care_ of herself and now she was forcing that responsibility on her friends.

“Your concern is noted.I’ll do better.”

“Good.”Deflating, Lucy shakes her head in exasperation.“I’m not trying to be a jerk Cap, but we need you right now.I… you have _every_ right to be off right now but even if you’re not at your best, we still can’t afford for you to be a liability.”Alex’s fist clench on the table and she quickly removes them from Lucy’s sight; Lucy who doesn’t seem to know when to quit.“I swear I’m not saying that to set you off but if anything were to happen to you, you have to know that both Kara and I would go back for you.We wouldn’t leave you to die, which means that for all of our sakes, you need to at least be in survival mode.”

“So I’ll sleep more—”

“It’s not just the sleeping!It’s the eating and the talking and the fucking _experiments!”_ Lucy sweeps her arm over Alex’s workstation and grimaces.“I get that this is how you prep but you’re doing this to the exclusion of all else.You need to take care of yourself Alex.Physically _and_ mentally.”

Letting the words sink in, Alex stares down at her table for a moment before slowly standing and meeting Lucy head on.The height difference between them has always been pretty significant but Maggie’s smaller than even Lucy and Alex had had to go toe to toe with her often.She doesn’t let the affection she has come into play here.She can’t.

“Are you questioning my command Major?”

“No.”If Alex had expected a fight, Lucy doesn’t give her one.Instead Alex gets sad eyes laced with nothing but worry and loss.“I’m asking you to remember that we’re a team.After my mom died—” Alex flinches and Lucy purses her lips but continues, “After my mom died, you and Maggie were there for me.I just want a chance to return the favor.”

Which is a weird thing to say because Alex hadn’t considered it a favor.However much neither of them had ever acknowledged it, she and Lucy were friends.Pretty much all each other had besides Maggie.To hear that Lucy thinks it was a favor is kind of offensive.

But…

On the other hand, Lucy _had_ just reminded Alex that she had gone through this before.

Maybe…

“So… hypothetically, if I had a question about this… process, you would try to answer it?”

“Yes.”

Alex pulls at her lip.“Huh.”

“Just ask Cap.Even if I don’t know we can walk through it together.”

Alex squints.“And you won’t make fun of me?”

“No.”Lucy whispers earnestly, hands dropping to her sides as she takes a step closer.Myx flits over to Alex’s shoulder and gently bumps her in the head.“Never Cap.Not about this.”

Blowing out a breath, Alex nods slowly.“This stays between us.”She warns, waits for Lucy’s nod of approval before continuing.“When your mom died… did you… I mean… did your _urges_ I guess… did they _intensify_?”

To ger credit Lucy’s face drops into a blank mask.She doesn’t laugh and Alex isn’t even sure she wants to, but she does look mildly amused.

“No.”

“Oh.”

“But I was ten.I seriously doubt that’s something ten year old’s experience.”

“Well nowadays…”Lucy gives her a look, a clear warning that Alex isn’t going to get out of this by giving her a science lesson.Which leaves her with little else to do but sigh and flop back in her chair, her head dropping into her hands as she realizes she’d just revealed her more embarrassing grief symptom to someone who didn’t _get_ it.“Kara deserves more than some horny “liability”.”

“Don’t put words in my mouth.”Lucy says, rounding the desk and leaning her hip near Alex’s bent elbows.“I didn’t say you were a liability just that I’m trying to prevent you from becoming one.Kara definitely doesn’t see you that way and if this is what you need—”

“No.”

“Cap… you were feeling like this before Eliza—you already had feelings for Kara before everything happened.Just because those feelings look different now doesn’t make them any less valid.”

The images that dredges up make Alex press the tips of her fingers into her eyelids.“I don’t want to hurt her.”

“Well than talk to her about it.You can’t know how someone will react to something without getting their opinion on the matter.For all anybody knows, Kara’s wanted to bone you from day one.”Lucy claps Alex on the shoulder.“That’s me by the way.I’m anybody.”

“I hate you.”

“You’re stressed; you just survived a cataclysmic battle and you’re about to go into another one.You lost your _mom._ If sex is how you get even an iota of relief than where’s the bad?”

The bad is in potentially being Kara’s Kryptonian soulmate and then realizing midway through that she doesn’t like it.

The bad is in potentially leading Kara on and watching her heart break because of Alex’s recklessness.

The bad is in Kara never having had feelings for Alex at all.

The bad is in Kara agreeing because she _does_ have feelings and Alex _liking_ it but Alex _not_ being Kara’s Kryptonian soulmate.

She presses her fingers harder against her eyes and mumbles out her final truth.

“I don’t want to get hurt.If we’re wrong and she doesn’t—I don’t know if I could come back from that.”

The bad is in Alex getting _her_ heart broken.

“Talk to her Cap.”Lucy pats Alex’s shoulder again.“I’m ninety-eight percent sure that this is one problem you don’t need to worry yourself over.” 

~*~

“We’ll make Nar Shadaa by morning, but I thought it’d be better to hover over this sector,” Lucy points at some nondescript spot on the map of the holodeck, “until nightfall.We don’t know what the moon will be like with the current news of Taris.There’s bound to be people who will recognize the Hawk.”

“Not necessarily.”Alex disagrees, the angles of her face even more defined then usual.If what they were discussing wasn’t so critical, Kara would probably be swooning right now.“One good thing that came out of all of this is that the Hawk is pretty badly damaged.With Kara’s… _repairs_ it looks like a hunk of scrap metal.”

“Hey!”That was rude.

Lucy shrugs her agreement, glancing over at Kara where she’s sitting between Diana and Winn.“Sorry kid but it’s true.”

“I’m older than you.”

“In time-didn’t-pass-through-here years, sure.”Lucy agrees readily, “but not in adult years and while you may be as much of a nerd as Cap, you have a terrible eye for design.”

“It is true.”Diana agrees solemnly, “Catherine gripes about it often although I know you try your best.”

Kara glares at her Master.“Gee thanks.I really appreciate the show of support.”

Unfortunately, she can’t be truly mad.Cat _did_ complain about Kara’s sense of fashion and design quite often but her foster mom never tried to enforce her own ideas of beauty on Kara.She just hated when she thought Kara was being lazy.And she had admittedly been less than concerned with aesthetics when she’d been patching the hull of the Ebon Hawk.

Alex had been locked away in her room at the time, not responding to anyone or anything and Kara had been beside herself with worry.

Not to mention the mass number of graves Kara had helped build.

Making the Hawk look pretty had hardly been a huge concern of hers.

“It’s a good thing Kara,” Alex assures her, her zhao smiling when Kara grumps and slouches in her seat.“It should help us remain undetected for a bit longer.But I still agree with Lucy, we should wait until night.”

Lucy nods.“We’ve got a list.We get in and we get out.Teams of three.”

Frowning, Kara leans forward a little.She’s actually not too upset about them splitting up but—

“I’m—”

“Going with Alex.I know,” Lucy says dismissively. “Even though I’m giving you a chaperon, I still wouldn’t try to break up such adorable gaybys.”

“Gay-what?”

“Ignore her.”Alex says, her blushing cheeks being hidden slightly by a face palm.“Please just ignore her.”

“Gaybys are baby gays.”Winn supplies helpfully.“Although you should know, Kara’s not really new to any of that stuff.There was this time where I thought that was all—”

“Winn!”Kara screeches, feeling like her face is on fire and woefully unable to look at Alex.“Are you _serious_ right now?!”

“What?What’d I say?!”

“Winn, Lucy and Diana will split off to find the parts we need to repair the drive and restart our scans for the Star Killer.”Alex interrupts, her voice just slightly more tense after the exchange.“Kara, Cat, and I will split off to find out what we can about Maggie.”

“You going to see M’gann?”Lucy questions.

“She’ll be my first stop.”Alex agrees, folding her arms over her chest.“There’s no one better for this type of info.Mom said she’s the one who found _me_.”

Lucy’s eyebrows tick, “a lucky feat.”

“I don’t think it’s got much to do with luck.”Alex mutters absentmindedly.

The pair seem to have forgotten that their peers may not know who it is they’re talking about.Kara knows who Maggie is obviously, but she’s only heard this M’gann mentioned a handful of times.And Alex has never mentioned needing to be found before.She had said that she was a slave though, that first day that they’d really started talking.

Maybe M’gann had been the one to find her then?

She almost swallows the question, used to reminding herself that Alex can share what she wants to share.Except now that she’s more comfortable around Alex and can see more of how the woman actually works, she knows she doesn’t need to.

Alex isn’t always aware that she’s leaving things open ended. Her mind works a lot faster than her mouth and so she doesn’t always explain herself very well.A trait that she also doesn’t seem to realize she has since she also seems to believe that everyone else around her has the same level of understanding that she does.

After spending even an hour around Eliza, it had been very clear where she’d picked that up from.

Eliza had been a walking genius herself and, if she’d been Alex’s main teacher and confidant, aside from droids, its no wonder that Alex hadn’t cultivated many skills in elucidation.She’d never needed to.

Kara’s had to _start_ asking the _right_ questions to get clearer answers from her zhao.Luckily, Alex is never upset with her asking; she’s confused sometimes—most times, but she answers as best she’s able.She’s even started drawing out diagrams when she feels like she isn’t getting her point across.It’s one of her sweeter qualities; that she’s trying at something she’s clearly not great at.

So Kara knows now, that asking for clarification on this won’t hurt and, from the looks on Diana and Winn’s faces, could only really help.

“Um… Alex?”Alex turns towards her immediately, brown eyes catching the light and almost distracting Kara with the change of hue.“I uh… who is M’gann again?And how did she find you?”

Winn nudges her and, when Kara looks over, surreptitiously gives her a thumbs up from under the table.Kara smiles at him and rolls her eyes.Goofus.

“M’gann is a Martian like J’onn but she’s a White Martian.I won’t go into a lot of detail here, but most people know about how the White Martians committed genocide on their Green counterparts.It made the White Martians Public Enemy Number One in most sectors.”

Lucy exchanges a frown with Alex, fingers tapping restlessly against the countertop until Alex covers her hand with her own.

“The thing to remember,” Lucy tells them, bringing up an image of a rather beautiful woman with dark skin and eyes and short cropped hair.“Is that like with any species, there’s going to be more than one viewpoint.M’gann was one of the first resistance leaders against her kind.She’s a large reason why J’onn was able to escape.”

“As for how she found me… Martians can read minds.M’gann is good at gathering information from Rebels and Sith alike because she can literally just sit in a room and gather intel.”Alex’s face darkens, her shoulders hunching somewhat and making Kara want to hold her.“When I was a baby, there was… a scientist that thought he could use my genetic code for himself.There was a fight and, somehow, I wound up on Slaver’s Moon.I got bought and sold by a few people and eventually M’gann heard of my whereabouts because they were selling… they were advertising me as the first “clone”.”

There’s silence for several seconds following that bombshell, but of course, it is interrupted by Winn’s rather hoarse exclamation of surprise.

“You’re a _clone_?!”

Alex fidgets uncomfortably, her fingers digging even further into her arms.Kara feels terrible.Maybe she shouldn’t have asked that question; or maybe she should have at least waited until she and Alex were alone.

This is clearly a personal topic and Alex had _not_ invited them into that part of her past.

They had no right to pry.

Luckily Lucy saves them all.

“Cap isn’t a clone and that’s not the point.”She states with finality, eyes narrowed at the trio.“M’gann hears things and we need to know if she’s heard anything about Maggie.That’s the mission.”

“Got it.”Kara readily agrees, shoving Winn out of the booth and ducking into the pantry.“Anyone hungry?I’m starved.”

It’s a terrible transition to be sure, but Kara feels horrible.Her stomach is twisting itself from guilt at Alex’s expression.The human had looked _ashamed_ of herself.As if the circumstances surrounding her birth had been any choice of her own; as if people would look down on her because of it.

Kara didn’t!

Winn’s shock probably hadn’t helped…

Pulling out some dry pasta and tomatoes, Kara chances a glance back at her team and sees that Alex has already left the room.Lucy is speaking with Diana and Winn still looks dumfounded.Kara sets her items down and cringes.

This was her fault.

Alex had been doing better and now Kara’s ripped that all back down.

She was such a jerk.

“You could just go after her.”Lucy advises quietly, sidling up to Kara and nudging her with her arm.“She’ll be pretty cranky, but she’ll be happy not be alone right now.”

“It might be better if you go then.I don’t think she’d want to see me right now…”

“Why?”Lucy asks, genuinely confused.

“I—you heard what just happened!I embarrassed her; I asked something that was personal and… I messed up.”Head hanging low, it’s all Kara can do not to slump down on the counter.She is a terrible Zhao.Rao had not been wise in assigning Alex someone as disastrous as Kara.

“Kara… respectfully speaking… you’re a moron.”

Kara’s head snaps up, eyes blinking stupidly.“Excuse me?”

“Alex doesn’t share anything she doesn’t want to.She shared that info and she doesn’t know Diana or even particularly like Winn.Obviously I already know the story, so who did you think she was sharing that with?”

“I… oh.”

“Yeah. Oh.”Lucy rolls her eyes and pulls the pasta and tomatoes over to herself.“Second question: are you serious about Alex or are you dicking around?Because I don’t appreciate people playing around with innocent gaybys.”

“I’m serious!”Straightening her posture and attempting to look as confidant as possible, Kara repeats herself.“I’m serious about Alex.”

“So she’s your Kryptonian soulmate?”

“My… huh?”

“I hear things—that’s part of you schtick right?”Lucy gestures vaguely at her person.“Kryptonian’s have soulmates?”

“Oh.Yes.And um…” a personal question, but it’s not like it’s something Kara’s trying to hide.“Yes.She’s my zhao.”

“Then you have my blessing.”A sharp slap to Kara’s rear and Lucy is shooing her away.“Now are you going to stand there and leave her to sulk or are you going to tell her that she’s being an idiot too?”

“Umm… the second one.”

“Good girl.Now get out; I’m a way better cook than you.”

Not true, but Kara doesn’t complain.She has a soulmate to reassure.

~*~

Alex is a mess.

Admittedly, she kind of feels like she’s always been a mess, but this is different.

This is a whole new level.

She’s got snot dripping down her face for god’s sake!And the _sounds_ she’s making!She sounds like a dying, non-harmonious bird.

Currently, she’s hiding in the cargo bay, hopeful of only two things at the moment.That the hole she’d patched earlier will shred and rip her out into the vacuum of space.And that no one will find her.

With the way she’s sitting behind several crates of supplies, she’s hoping that at least she can rely on the latter.

“Alex?”

Stupid aliens.

Stumbling back isn’t really possible considering she’s sitting, but she does almost sprawl all over herself, her legs getting tangled and her hands swiping at her face in a vain attempt at cleaning herself up.It’s an honest nightmare.

“I’m fine.”She barks, even though anyone with eyes can see that she is _not_ fine.

It’s just that… being reminded of her origins had once again reminded her of Eliza.How many times over the years had Eliza assured Alex of the same thing Lucy had said?That she wasn’t a clone; that she hadn’t been her parents’ science experiment but rather the fruition of their greatest dreams.And honestly, all told, there are worst things than being a test tube baby.

She should have told Eliza that.

She should have told her that she didn’t care and that she loved her anyway.

When was the last time she’d told her mother that she loved her?

Had she ever?

“It’s ok to not be fine.”Kara whispers, tentatively crouching down in front of her.“I’m sorry I asked about—”

“What’s the deal with you?”

“Me?”Kara balks, eyes wide as she falls back on her butt.“Wha—I mean, I don’t… what?”

“I told you I wanted to kiss you the other day.”Alex says, thinking a mile a minute and not even really understanding where she’s going with this.All she knows is that she wants to get as far away from Kara’s question—and her own thoughts—as she can.And Lucy _had_ told her to get this all out all in the open.“And before that… I feel like I’m the only one saying anything about my feelings and—”

“I’ll say something!”Kara jumps in, rolling up to her knees and holding her hands placatingly.“Tell me what you want me to say and I’ll say it!”

“No!That is not how this works!”Leaping to her feet, Alex points an accusing finger down at Kara.“You don’t get to play that card!I took a leap of faith or whatever other bullshit and you didn’t leap with me!”

“ _What?!”_

“My mom would be _so_ mad at you!”

“Alex!I don’t understand what—just let me—Rao!Ok.”Kara takes a deep breath, slowly rising until she’s able to catch Alex’s wrist in her hand and bring it to her chest.Her eyes look so earnest that Alex almost wants to let this drop, but her brain has chosen this mountain to die on and so she’ll stay.Besides, her behavior, though erratic, actually _does_ make sense.All this time people had been telling Alex to talk to Kara, but Kara hadn’t talked to _her._ And her next words almost make Alex’s head explode.“I want to kiss you too.”

“You have _got_ to be kidding me!”

Ripping her hand away, Alex storms towards the door but isn’t quite fast enough to escape as Kara seemingly materializes out of nowhere.

_Stupid aliens!_

_Kara_ was the one with the soulmate sensing abilities.If anyone knew how anyone felt it was _Kara!_ And, according to Winn, Kara had also been with women before!Not that Alex was jealous! But it definitely raised the point that of the two of them, Kara should have more of an idea of what the hell was supposed to happen!Not Alex!The stupid, had no idea she was even gay until a few weeks ago, emotionally stunted, _failure_!

She’s in Kara’s arms in a heartbeat, the Kryptonian strong and firm against her, not letting go even when Alex halfheartedly tries to push her away.

“What the hell is wrong with me?”Alex sobs, feeling so wholly out of control that she just wants to disappear.This isn’t like her; she _knows_ that she’s acting out of character, but she doesn’t know how to stop!She wants Kara to make it all stop.

“You just lost your mom.”Kara soothes.“Everything’s going to seem a lot worse than it is for an… indecently long time but… Alex, that’s ok.”

“It’s _not_!I hate this!I hate the way I’m acting!”

“I hated the way I acted too; it didn’t stop me from acting that way.Your entire life you’ve had your mom with you, your mind is just trying to learn how to live without her.”

Something in Alex’s chest breaks, her vision going black as her body slumps in Kara’s arms.The noises she’s making now are _incredibly_ embarrassing.

Kara’s breath hitches but she doesn’t let go.“I love you.I know that everything is really bad right now, but… if it helps to ease your mind: I love you.”

It feels like forever until Alex feels like she’s got even a modicum of control over herself and even then, it’s a minimal thing.She’s still hiccupping and snotting all over the place, but Kara has guided her to the floor and they’re sitting perched up against the wall.

It’s an odd position to be sure; when Kara had gone to cradle her, Alex had mortifyingly shrieked and swapped their positions.Now she’s holding Kara like a grumpy three-year-old would hold a teddy bear.Not her proudest moment.

“Are you ok?”Kara asks quietly, as though she’s afraid to make any sudden moves.Alex doesn’t blame her; she’s acting like a crazy person.“Do you need me to get you anything?”

“No.”She mumbles back, resting her cheek on Kara’s hair and trying to calm herself down with the scent.“Tell me about Kryptonian soulmates.”

And Kara does.

She explains how years ago, some ancient Kryptonian had decided that it was too much work to try to find a suitable mate and so, with the help of the Creators, had forged a DNA process that would alert Kryptonian’s to their true mate’s presence.It was meant to alleviate the pressures of societal couplings and allow people to focus completely on the betterment of the species.

When Kara explains its origin like this it sounds a lot more clinical than Alex had imagined it.

“I didn’t want to pressure you.”Kara confesses, “that’s why I didn’t say anything.But you are my Zhao and, if we complete the bond, you would be my mate.”

“What happens if the bond _isn’t_ completed?”

“It dies.”Kara says simply.

“So you just fell for the _first_ person you saw?Did you even think about this when you chose—”

“ _I_ chose.”Kara says, pushing up so that she’s boring into Alex’s eyes with her own.Alex has never seen her look so serious, the blue in Kara’s eyes nearly blotted out by her pupils.“I’m still choosing.Every day.You were not the first person I saw Alex.You were just the best.”

“But… you could still meet someone else.If our bond dies, you could still—what if you made a mistake?”And Alex hates how small she sounds, but dammit she can’t _help_ it.She’s turned into a literal ball of emotions and she doesn’t understand _why_.

“Do you want our bond to die?”

Alex whimpers and shakes her head.“No.”

“Then it won’t, and we don’t need to think about it. I didn’t make a mistake Alex; I’ve made my choice and it’s you.”Kara nuzzles Alex’s cheek with her nose, a small smile playing at her lips.“No Refunds.”

Alex exhales slowly, centering herself before nodding firmly.

Ok.

Ok.

“How did the Kryptonians know the Architects?”She asks, still feeling out of sorts but no longer quite so lost in her emotions.“I didn’t know your civilization was that old.”

“We’re older than most people think.”Kara says softly, pressing kisses to Alex’s chin and temple.“We’ve been around since Rao was a yellow star.”

“That’s a long time.”Alex mumbles sleepily, drowsy under Kara’s affection.

Kara hums, leaning back and tugging on Alex’s arms.“May I carry you to bed?”

“No.”Alex scowls, standing up and swaying slightly.“I can walk.I’m not a baby.”

She doesn’t even protest the fact that it’s still very early.Lately, she’s been grabbing sleep when it comes and it’s currently here.Alex isn’t going to fight it.

“Alex.”Kara cups her face, kissing Alex dangerously close to her mouth and sending her into cardiac arrest.“ _Please_ may I carry you to bed? I know you can walk yourself but I’m very worried about you.I just want to take care of you.”

Alex blames the sleep deprivation.

“Ok.”She’s in a bridal carry before the last syllable has escaped her, her exhaustion hitting her like a sledgehammer to the face.A yawn rips through her and she doesn’t even try to fight it, Kara’s gait smooth as she carries Alex to her bunk.“Tell me about Krypton.”

~*~

Kara tells her about Krypton; whispering tales of the doomed race to send Alex to sleep.

There was allegedly a group of people called the Architects, who had created the galaxy itself and all the planets and people within.One of those architects had fallen in love with a human and so Kryptonians were formed.

The Architect couldn’t leave his own people but watched as his beloved and their children flourished under his light.Rao.

Over time, he saw his children grow angry and mass conflicts broke out amongst them.It was silly stuff, Kara had said.Things that didn’t deserve to be fought over.Power and wealth… sex.

Loving his children and wanting them to prosper, Rao searched for one amongst them that was still good.He found their savior in a man named Jaf-El, and through him spoke his teachings.It was in this way that the Kryptonians were able to breed out many of their undesirable traits, and train away the rest.

And it was Jaf-El who, with the help of the architect, created the bond.

A Zhao.

A perfect companion.

In exchange, it was said that Jaf-El’s house would forever be blessed.The one true House of Rao.

~*~

“I’m scared...”

“Of what?”

“What if I change my mind?”

“You’re allowed.You’re a sentient being, that’s what we do.”

“Kara…I’ve never… _felt_ this way about a woman before.”

“Have you felt this way about a man?”

“Well… no.”All things considered; Alex had never felt this way about _anyone._

“Then why does it matter what parts I have?”

“I… don’t know.”

Why does it matter?In the grand scheme of things, Alex has always preferred the company of women over men.Men are often brash, and arrogant, and easily offended by any woman they deem threatening.Women have their flaws, but the ones Alex hangs around have always made her feel comfortable. _Kara_ has made her feel comfortable.

It’s not the company.

And… holding Kara now, with the blonde’s back pressed to her front, their legs tangled together… Alex is pretty sure it’s not the physical side either.

She wasn’t lying when she said she wanted to kiss Kara and more.If she moved her hand just a little higher, she’d be cupping Kara’s breast.She’d be able to slide her thumb over a nipple and feel it harden against her palm.She _wants_ to feel it harden against her palm; wants to feel every inch of Kara’s skin. _She’s so soft._

Her thoughts are consumed with what Kara would sound like.

What Kara would _like_.

“I love that you’re a woman.”Kara whispers, pressing further back against Alex and making her choke on a moan. “I think we’d do well together but its ok if you don’t.”

Alex feels like a crazy person.She’s been distant this morning, then back to business when they were laying out their plan; something had triggered her and sent her into a bout of psychotic crying; then Kara had found her and she’d been embarrassed; then angry; then petulant; and now she wanted nothing more than to press harder against Kara.

It’s the lack of sleep; it has to be the lack of sleep.

She’s so fucking tired.

“I don’t want to hurt you.”

“You won’t.We have all the time in the world to figure this out, my Zhao.”Kara reaches back for Alex’s hand and laces their fingers together on her stomach.“We don’t have to rush.”

“We do.I could die in the war.”

“I won’t let that happen.”

“ _You_ could die in the war.”

“You won’t let that happen.”

“We can’t be with each other all the time.That’s…”Shaking her head, Alex pulls Kara closer.She’s got a face full of hair, but she likes that she can’t see Kara’s expressions for this.It’s easier to talk to her this way.“What we’re doing is dangerous and… I just lost my mom.If we were to—I can’t imagine losing you.”Alex admits, voice muffled by Kara’s hair and the pillow their sharing.“If we were to get closer, it would just be worse for us if we lost each other.”

“You’re right.”Kara eventually responds after a long lull of silence, pulling Alex from the hazy drowsiness that she’d been under.Kara’s reassurance does nothing to give her back that feeling.“But I know that in this moment, I love you and I would do anything to keep you safe and happy.That’s enough for me.”Kara wiggles until they’re face to face, fingers spanning over Alex’s brow and burrowing into her hair.“Alex, I don’t want to live my life in fear of what _may_ happen.If I did that, I never would have moved on after what happened at the Temple.I’d still be that scared little girl and I don’t want to be her.You need to decide what you want.”

_Talk to her,_ Eliza had asked.

“I like holding you like this.I like… talking to you and learning about you.I like it when you touch me.”Alex squeezes her, the arm that isn’t under her pillow, pulling Kara infinitesimally closer.“Every moment that I spend with you, I’m happy.Even if I get angry or… or sad… I’m still happy that you’re there.”Alex pauses, tries to think long term.She’s never been able to see past the end of the war.Eliza had always been on her about that.God, her head is starting to hurt.“Is that… does that make any sense?”

Kara nods, leaning her head to the side so she can place a kiss on Alex’s elbow. “Yes.”

“I’ll figure this out.”Alex promises, head slumping groggily against the pillow below her.“I’ll figure it out and I’ll find a way to make this work.You shouldn’t have to be alone.”

The last thing she hears as she drifts off is Kara’s whispered reply, the Ebon Hawk rattling away in transit, and someone screaming about food.

_“I’m not.”_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So... Alex is really going through it.
> 
> We get a flashback that really just drives that stake deeper, when Alex and Eliza first met. The contrast there was supposed to be the first time Alex felt not so alone to now when she's got way more people in her corner and she feels completely isolated. But she's getting there. She's letting both Kara and Lucy help in little ways and that's good. She'll be ok our little nugget.
> 
> When she talks to Lucy about her libido issues, that's based off of a real conversation and it is indeed a real symptom of grief. Who knew? Ahem.
> 
> Then we get Alex's clone issues brought up again and Winn is less than gracious with it. It gives Kara her in though and we get the last part of the chapter which is just... I had so much fun writing that.
> 
> Being angry and crying and angry that your crying is a very unique sensation and Kara never stood a chance. She's lucky Alex loves her and that she's impervious or else that could have ended with her being punted out of the ship.
> 
> Nah, Alex is a softy.
> 
> This might be a mini spoiler but whatever: take note that Kara still hasn't given up her family name. Then take note of who her ancestor is. Could this be important? Who knows. (internal thought: you can't say spoiler and then question its importance... *sad face*)
> 
> Alex may be in the process of rebuilding herself but she isn't hutting anyone out and she's doing the best she can. This bodes well for her and Kara's future and I promise, relationship goodies are coming soon. :)
> 
> Also: questioning people are valid. A good chunk of us have been there and come out just fine with only mildly severe unrequited crushes on fictional characters. It'll be ok.
> 
> ~Chronicles


	21. Ch 19: Wish I Could Prove I Love You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The crew arrives on Nar Shaddaa. Alex makes another mistake and Kara gets pissy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter has a happy little surprise for you towards the end. You're welcome.
> 
> Song: Simple and Clean- The People Who Made Kingdom Hearts? Correction: Hikaru Utada. Thank you Google.
> 
> Also, this chapter didn't get a re-read so if there are more mistakes than usual I apologize. None of this is beta'd.

Alex zips the dark brown jacket up to Kara’s neck, straightening the collar a bit and glancing over her shoulder at Lucy.

“How’s that?”

“She looks like a Rebel.”

Kara bristles, glowering at Lucy and only serving to increase her adorable factor.

“I am _not_ a Rebel.”

“That’s not what you said the other day.”Alex comments absently, pulling one of Kara’s hands up and removing her thumb loops so she can tuck the sleeves of her suit further into the jacket.When the room falls into a hushed silence, she glances up, taking in Kara’s blushing face and Lucy’s wide-eyed amusement.“What?”

“Cap… did you—”

“No!”Kara interrupts.“We did not!We just… on Yavin, Alex said something and so I said I was a Rebel, but I forgot and that’s all!Stop it!”

Lucy holds up her hands, but the smirk doesn’t leave her face.Alex decides it’s best not to ask.

“Whatever.”She walks behind Kara and starts braiding her hair, fingers weaving through the thick blonde mass in record time until there’s a heavy plait lying over Kara’s shoulder.“How’s that?”

“She’s too pretty to be wearing that.”Lucy waves a hand over Kara’s body, her earlier skepticism returning.“Girls like her wear pretty dresses and robes.”

“Not if they’re poor.”

“She’s not poor.”

“She,” Kara mutters with mounting annoyance, “is standing right here.”

Stroking her chin in thought, Alex considers how to make Kara less attention grabbing.Nar Shaddaa was an unforgiving place with the highest murder rates in the galaxy.You could find whatever you needed on the Smuggler’s Moon, but you also needed to be prepared for trouble.And Lucy was right.

Kara _was_ pretty.The moments she didn’t steal Alex’s breath were becoming few and far between.Lately all she had to do was enter a room and Alex would be forced to remember to inhale if she wanted to continue living.

Even with the brown leather jacket and black pants tucked into boots, Kara’s shape would not be hidden.It didn’t help that the only clothes she actually had consisted of her suit and she’d had to borrow from Alex and Lucy’s trunks, both of whom were very different sizes.

Alex had a bigger chest, but smaller shoulders.And Lucy had the same waist size, but shorter legs.So Kara was stuck in Lucy’s jacket and Alex’s pants, and she still looked like someone who’d fetch a fair price at an auction.

They’d draw the scrutiny of every gang member on the planet if she went out like this.

“Can you do that thing you had with your hair where it was all ratty looking?”

“Yeah,” Alex agrees, exchanging nods with Lucy.“That looked terrible.”

“Gee.Thanks.”Kara grits out, flicking them both in the forehead.“No I cannot do that thing; that thing only happened because my hair needed a yellow sun and I was lurking in the shadows for the better part of two weeks.As you can see, my cells are completely charged.”

Alex scowls and rubs the spot she’s been hit.“Red Sun bomb?”

Lucy snaps and points at her in approval.“Red Sun bomb.”

“No.No bombs!…what’s a red sun bomb?”

“It’s what I used against Kassandra.”Alex remarks, already searching her pockets to see if she has one on her.“It replicates the radiation of the Red Sun.I built it after you told me it affects your abilities.”

“And you didn’t tell me about it?”

Her hand closes around the sphere in the side pocket on her thigh and she pulls it out triumphantly.“I didn’t?”

Kara snatches the bomb from her hand.“No.You didn’t.”

She’s clearly unhappy if the thin line of her mouth and the lowered brows are any indication.Alex has only had to deal with an upset Kara once and her apology at the time had gotten her out of any trouble.But right now, she’s not exactly sure why Kara’s so angry.

“Oooh,” Lucy crows, “trouble in paradise.”

Her best friend bumps shoulders with her and Kara’s eyes narrow.It’s the first time Alex has wished that Lucy would _not_ help in a social situation where Alex herself is lost.Somehow she just knows that Lucy is making this _worse._

“You made a bomb from one of the few things that could make me vulnerable and you didn’t even tell me about it?”

“I thought I did!”Alex defends herself, taking half a step back and planting her hands on her hips.And even if she didn’t, she must have missed the part where she had to run her decisions by _Kara_.

“Really?Because you didn’t!”

“You’re getting mad for no reason.I thought I told you.I _meant_ to tell you.”

“But you didn’t!”Kara screeches, “you didn’t tell me.What if this got into the wrong hands Alex?What then?”

A silly notion.All of Alex’s gadgets were coded to either her, Lucy or Maggie.Thinking about it now, she might want to consider adding Kara to that.But!The point was, no one could use _any_ of her combustible weapons but her.Kara was worrying over nothing.And, on top of that, it had been Alex’s Red Sun Grenade that had saved J’onn’s life on Yavin.

She’s not going to be sorry for that.

“I am a Commander in the Rebel Army Kara.I don’t _answer_ to you. I don’t have to explain myself _to you.”_

“You made a weapon to hurt me Alex!”

“Not to hurt _you_ ; to protect _us!_ ”

Kara deflates, her shoulders dropping from where they’d been steadily competing with her ears.“Us meaning everyone but me, right?”

“Kara—”

“A Red Sun makes me vulnerable.It makes me human and—”

“I’m human! _Lucy_ is human!It just puts us on an equal playing field that’s all.”Alex snarls, “and if you really think this little of me after everything we’ve been through then that’s _your_ problem.I created something to keep us safe.That’s all.End of story.”

“If it’s really that simple Alex,” Kara questions, shrugging her shoulders shakily, “then why didn’t you tell me about it?”She’s walking away before Alex can answer, waving a hand dismissively over her shoulder.“I’ll ask Winn for help with my disguise.Tell me when you’re ready to leave.”

“You have got to be kidding me.”Alex mutters, dropping her hands from her hips and turning to look at Lucy.“That was a joke right?”

Lucy rocks side to side, mouth quirked towards her ear.“I don’t know Cap, she seemed pretty serious.”

Which was ridiculous.

Alex hadn’t created that bomb to attack Kara, not really.She just hadn’t liked the idea of an undefeatable foe.And yes, at the time, Kara had still been an unknown, but even back then Alex wouldn’t have been able to hurt her.

She’d never hurt her.

She’d considered using the grenade on Kara’s cousin Clark, if only to get in a few good hits, but she hadn’t been able to figure out if Kara would have been upset about that.

Goes to show that Kara was just easily upset.

“Am I wrong here?”

“I don’t think so.”Lucy denies, “but then again, you and I aren’t the ones who would be hurt from this.And I’m used to you forgetting to mention things.”

“I do _not_ forget to—”

Lucy waves a hand and cuts her off mid-sentence.“Your mind works too fast Alex.You forget to tell people things all the time because you’ve gotten so used to people not being able to understand you anyway.Mostly they just know that what you do works.And it works for me and Maggie because we’ve known you so long.Kara hasn’t; this feels like a betrayal to her.”

Crossing her arms defensively over her chest, Alex tries not to let those words bother her too much.When Eliza and Jeremiah had been thinking up the perfect child, they had wanted her to be smart.And she was.Insanely so.

It had made it extremely hard for Alex to make friends when she came to the colony since no one could comprehend any of her games.Or her theories.Or her plans.Only her mother had got it and now she was gone.

Stop; this wasn’t about Eliza.Not right now.

What Lucy had said was true.Alex _had_ given up on explaining things.But she had tried to still be informative.Especially when you were working in a small group, communication was key.Alex had made it a point to give details of her plans and, her friends might not always understand them, but it was really easy to follow the main points.

She’d been with Lucy and Maggie for so long because they trusted her.It hurt to think that Kara didn’t.

Lucy nudges her with an elbow, prompting Alex to look up miserably.“Do you want me to punch her?”

“No… maybe.”

“Say the word Cap.”Lucy shrugs, “for what it’s worth, I don’t think this is about you making the grenade so much as it is you didn’t tell Kara about it.I think if you apologize and make it a point to be more open in the future this could all blow over.”

“I’m not an open person.”Alex grumbles, slouching back against the wall.“I’m a close relative to a vault.”

“Alex, I know who you are; you don’t have to explain that to me.But if you’re serious about this girl, you need to learn what it means to be in a relationship.If this is what she needs to feel secure, why can’t you provide it?”

Alex wants to point out that she and Kara aren’t in a relationship, but, even though they aren’t, it feels like a lie.And she doesn’t lie to her friends.She also wants to point out that she doesn’t know how, but that’s not true either because Lucy had literally just laid out what to do.

It’s just…

Hard.

Not in the rocket science kind of way, but in the jumping-into-a-pool-of-water-even-though-you’ve-never-swam-before kind of way.

Lots of people swim everyday but when you haven’t, the experience can be daunting.

But when Alex thinks about hurting Kara—because that is what she’s done here, however unintentional—for the simple fact that she’s afraid to share, it makes her feel terrible.

It’s such a silly thing.

She’d gotten so used to people tuning her out or pulling away from her because of her mind, that she’s grown afraid of reliving that experience with anyone else.

She’s a coward.

This sucks.

~*~

“Am I in the wrong here?!”

“Not wrong at all.Hold still.”

Kara glowers, staring unflinchingly at her friend as he pokes and prods at her hair and face.“She went behind my back Winn!”

“I know, she’s a huge jerk.”Heaving a sigh, he steps back and shakes his head.“Exactly how ugly do they want you to be because I honestly think I can get you down to like an 8.”

“Hey!”Kara exclaims, jerking back and feeling her brows go even lower at the seeming insult.“I can do ugly just fine.”

“Really?Care to share the instruction manual on that because all I can think of is shaving off your eyebrows.”

“…then shave off my eyebrows…”

Fingering the aforementioned feature, Kara can’t help but shrug.It was just hair, it’d grow back.If having a hairless face made her less attractive, then it was the obvious solution.She didn’t know why Winn was being such a wuss.

“Yeah… no.”

“Yeah; yes.Where’s the razor?”

“Woah, woah, woah crazy lady.”Winn immediately body blocks her when she starts moving towards her table of “supplies”.“How about we try the saner options before we turn you into a walking ad for some terrible illness.God.No wonder people think you’re weird.”

“People think you’re way weirder than I am!”

“Hold still.”Winn commands, grabbing her chin and a makeup palette.“I need to focus.”

She lasts all of thirty seconds before she can’t stand the silence anymore and pokes Winn in the side with a finger.

“How’s James?Any change?”

“He’s at 95% according to the ship’s med droid so I’m expecting him to wake up any day now.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Stop apologizing you weirdo.And hold still.”

“Fine.”

“Fine.”

“…But Alex was wrong right?She’s a jerk?”

“The biggest jerk in the galaxy.”Winn confirms, dipping his brush in the darkest shade of blue she’d ever seen.“Now, let’s make you a freak show.”

~*~

All Alex can think as she sits at the bar waiting for M’gann is that Winn _sucks._ Kara certainly looked different; she’d give him that.And, she even doubted that they’d draw any attention from the worse gangs.

But they were still definitely going to be drawing attention.

Kara no longer looked like a goddess of beauty come down from the heavens, she now looked like a goddess of beauty come down from the heavens who was into breaking shit and listening to really loud music.

It was even more appealing, even if completely against her true character.

Alex had already had to glare away at least three possible suitors who’d been trying to take Kara home for a night of fun.

With how little women like Kara probably showed up on Nar Shaddaa, it would probably be for more than a night.The little worms would probably try to make her their queen or something.

“I thought the whole purpose of this operation was to get information.”Kara comments offhandedly, taking an absurdly loud slurp of the frothy drink in front of her.She’d kept the clothes that Alex and Lucy had lent her, but the dark makeup on her face and faux tattoo on the side of her neck definitely gave her an edge that made up for the simple clothing.Honestly, she kind of looked like sex on a stick.And, with the way she was slurping away at the frozen concoction she had ordered… 

“That is the purpose.What isn’t the purpose is sending you home with some asshole.”

“Typical.”Cat sighs, although she looks even less pleased than Alex at the attention Kara is receiving.“Of course you choose a jealous suitor.”

“Alex isn’t jealous, she wants me powerless and under her thumb.”

Alex almost breaks the glass in her hand, her anger leaping to new levels at that accusation.

“Are you serious right now?”She asks, glaring at Kara so hard she’s afraid _she’ll_ discover heat vision.“Is that seriously what you think?”

Kara frowns but doesn’t answer and Alex quickly tips the rest of the amber fluid she’d been drinking down her throat.

She’s definitely going to need another drink if she has to deal with _this_ bullshit.

Fuck Lucy.

Alex wasn’t wrong and she wasn’t going to apologize.

And she was going to stop thinking about pressing Kara against that damn bar and showing her just how absolutely wrong she was.

She might not want Kara powerless and under her thumb but that didn’t mean she didn’t want Kara _under_ her _._

The bartender comes back and slides Alex another glass.She pays and shoots the glass back at the same time, motioning for another.

“Oh.”Cat remarks, “we chose the alcoholic.”

“Can you focus on the mission?”Kara requests petulantly, nibbling on the tip of her straw and making Alex _very_ uncomfortable.“Or do we need to send you back to the ship?”

Maggie.

Alex was doing this for Maggie.

The fact that she couldn’t get Kara and sex out of her brain… well, that would just have to be shoved into a very small box and packed away for later review.A neat trick she’d picked up from Lena.

Relief comes in the form of M’gann.Alex would know her friend anywhere, and the dark-skinned woman with the cropped red hair sipping on a beer in the corner screamed M’gann.She stares for a few seconds and, when they make eye contact, pushes off from her stool.

M’gann raises her beer at her and Alex has all the confirmation she needs.

She’s seen M’gann a handful of times over the years, mostly keeping in contact through letters and the odd call.Almost every time M’gann, as a shapeshifter, had been in a green Martian disguise.It was her preferred style since she still felt like she’d failed as a hero and that was her penance.

Almost no one agreed with her, but she chose to ignore her well-meaning companions.

Now, in a human smuggler’s body, Alex can tell by the odd cant of her eyes, the almond shape just that side of alien.Plus no one else has quite that shade of brown as their eye color.

“Stay here.”She mutters to her blonde companions, ignoring Cat’s indignant huff and making her way through the rather crowded cantina.

The first words out of her friend’s mouth make her wish she’d stayed by the bar.

“Your thoughts are filthy.The things you’re thinking of doing to that poor girl are just… raunchy.”

“Get out of my head.”Alex grits, swirling the chair around and sitting on it backward.She folds her arms along the back and gives M’gann a dirty look.

Taking another sip from her beer, M’gann just grins.

“J’onn ‘called’.He told me you might be coming by, so I’ve kept an eye out.Turns out it was unnecessary since you’re broadcasting your thoughts so loudly any telepath on this moon would be able to hear you.”

Flushing, Alex is tempted to take the beer from M’gann and finish it herself.“Yeah well… I’m a bit out of sorts.”

“I see that.The pretty blonde has you tied up in about a million different knots.”

“Have you seen Maggie?”

It’s not that she’s being rude so much as she really wants to get back to her bed.Not to do anything in her bed, just sleep.And sulk probably but mostly sleep.Nothing sexual.

Because Kara is mad at her.Which probably eliminates Alex’s chances of anything sexual anyway.

“Girl.”

“ _M’gann_.Please.”

Rolling her eyes, M’gann discretely taps Alex on the temple.The information that filters into her brain feels like someone sent a cold drink into her ear.

“There are rumors that a Rebel soldier is going up for auction tomorrow.It means you’ll have to spend the night, but full disclosure: I don’t know if it’s Maggie.”

“They don’t have an ad out?”

“Nope, just a description.Strong, hard working and spirited.”

“That could be anybody.”

“Or it could be her.”M’gann shrugs.“I got an invite to the auction showing.You won’t be able to bring your sex toy, but you and I could go check it out.”

“She’s not my sex toy.”Alex mumbles.Even mad at Kara and mad at the fact that Kara is mad at her, Alex doesn’t want anyone to speak about her like that.Kara has more than earned Alex’s respect.“She’s my partner.Who I happen to have thoughts about.That’s all.”

“I wish someone thought about _me_ like that because your imagination?Very thorough.”

“Fuck off.Where and when are we meeting?”

“Tomorrow morning; meet me outside of the stadium.That’s where Gravak’s holding his merch.”

“Don’t call them that.”

M’gann shrugs.“Eyes and ears Little Danvers.I have a rep I need to hold on to so if there’s nothing else…?”

Chewing her lip, Alex thinks back to her tinkering.To the upcoming battle.

“Well… there is one thing.”

~*~

“We got the spare parts.”Winn crows as soon as they enter the Hawk, his grin is stretched from ear to ear as he takes in his treasures strewn over the table.“Lucy beat a Hutt in the face with a chalk sock, but it was worth it.”

Alex trips on her own feet and Kara has to make a very conscious choice not to catch her.The _Commander_ thankfully catches herself, even though her expression remains gob smacked.

“She _what?_ ”

“Excuse me.”Kara mutters, shoving passed Alex none to gently and continuing to her bunk.It’s only when she gets into Alex’s room that she remembers that this is _Alex’s_ bunk.

Not hers.

Crap.

She hasn’t slept in her own bed in weeks and now… she hates Alex.She hates her so much!

“Trouble darling?”

Spinning, Kara sinks into Cat’s already open arms. “She’s a jerk.”

“She is clueless,” Cat allows, “but I don’t think I’d call her a jerk.”

“No, she is.Winn agreed with me.”

“Winslow agrees with _everything_ you say.He believes a best friend should be in agreement with everything and support everything. But that’s why we have cults dear.”

“She made a weapon.”Kara mumbles into the shoulder of Cat’s jacket.“To hurt me.”

Her foster mother freezes, body tensing in Kara’s arms and her hand, which had been cradling Kara’s head, presses Kara harder into her.

“A weapon _to_ hurt you or a weapon that _can_ hurt you?”

“Both I guess.Does it matter?”

“I think you’ll find that the difference in that one word matters a great deal Kara Zor-El.”

“Don’t call me that.”Pulling away, Kara drops onto the closest surface.When she realizes she’s sat on Alex’s bed she wrinkles her nose and stands again.Cat is still in the doorway though and she doesn’t want to be near her right now either.

She’s trapped.

“I will allow you to avoid that only because this is actually a fairly important distinction.”Cat sighs, smoothing her hands down her casual blouse and jeans.Alex hadn’t made _her_ change after all.It was only Kara who she seemed hell bent on caging.“If Alex simply created a device that could harm you, there is no fault.Plenty of inventions can harm _humans;_ quite a few of which were created or inspired by _Kryptonians_.”

“But… this isn’t just a _maybe_ something will happen.This is a _definitely_ something will happen.”Kara folds her arms, wrapping them tight around herself as some of her earlier fear returns.“I’m completely vulnerable under a Red Sun and Alex knows that.I _shared_ that with her, and she didn’t tell me she was building that weapon.”

“Kara…”Shaking her head, Cat takes a step forward and gently rubs Kara’s shoulders.“If you wanted someone who knew how to communicate, perhaps you should not have chosen the modern-day equivalent of an idiot savant.”

“Alex isn’t an idiot.”

“Not in science no.And certainly not in tactics or military operations.But I think you’ll find she’s quite clueless when it comes to social intelligence.”

“Part of her job requires her to work undercover Cat.She _has_ to have social skills.”

“She does.Just not with you.”

Pinching the skin between her eyebrows, Kara huffs in frustration.“You’re not making any sense.”

“Kara… she loves you and she has no idea what that means.”

“No she… Alex isn’t even sure she’s _into_ girls.She’s attracted and curious but… I don’t think it’s love.”

“She’s certainly into you; confusing as that may be to her,” Cat disagrees. “And the last time I checked you were definitely a woman.Just because you’re the _first_ girl she’s been interested in means nothing but that she’s inexperienced.If you want her to treat you a certain way, you don’t whack her on the nose at the first sign of mischief.”

“I didn’t… whack her.”

“Proverbially then.Kara, you need to guide her.Even if she had been with other women, that still doesn’t change the fact that loving _you_ is a new adventure.If you want her to do it right, show her the ropes.”

“That sounds terrible.”Kara grumbles.

“Then sulk in your own bunk and be lonely.”Cat shrugs.“This is my advice, take it or leave it.”

Wrinkling her nose, Kara pulls Cat into a quick hug.“I want you to know that I’m very annoyed with you right now but that doesn’t mean I don’t love and appreciate you.”

“Noted.”Cat flicks her ear.“Talk to her.”

~*~

Alex is obviously frustrated when she returns to her bunk.

She’d listened to Winn explain his next steps.Before Lucy had assaulted someone with a sock full of chalk shavings, they’d met up with Felicity, a Rebel intelligence officer from the days of yore.Before she’d found “redemption” or whatever, she’d been hell on a computer, competing with even Toyman as the wars most effective hacker.But things had gotten a bit too deep for her when someone had found out her hacking groups location and a team of Sith guards had been sent to silence them.

Felicity had barely gotten away with her life.

Many of her friends had not.

She’d changed her identity, her looks, everything and faded away into obscurity until Oliver Queen had found her and they’d started their own little militia in Hutt Space.Oliver had been born on one of the planets that the Hutts had taken over and it was his mission to see his people, and everyone like them, free from the rule of the crime bosses.Felicity had fallen so in love with his cause that she’d fallen in love with him as well and well… the rest was history.

Teeth rotting romance aside, Felicity was a computer _genius_.Winn may have been amazing at software but Felicity was amazing at software _and_ hardware.Alex was kind of afraid of what the two of them could do if left alone to their own devices.Might be worthy of exploring in the future.Just sick the geek squad on the Cisar and see where the chips fall.

Hmmm.

As it stands, Winn’s trip had been an overall success.Not only had Felicity had the parts he needed to rebuild his computer, she had confirmed that she could rebuild his hard drive.She’s currently doing so, which means that Brainiac’s data isn’t dead.It means they still have a shot at this.

Winn is currently clearing out a larger space in the cargo area to hold the required clean room equipment the new drive will need.Apparently it will be obnoxiously big.And green.For some reason.

Alex had reeled both him and Felicity in and told them to keep it small and untheatrical.Felicity, only available through video call, had grumbled at her but gone for a smaller design.After which Alex had granted them a small portion of the storage area to work before realizing how fast they were running out of space.If Maggie and her family came aboard, things were going to be tight.

The thought had given her a headache all the way through ironing out her plans for recon with Lucy for tomorrow.Lucy wouldn’t be able to operate a drone on Nar Shaddaa without someone tagging it or shooting it down.

She _could_ track Alex through a camera and be on Comms while keeping watch from a nearby building.

Lucy was a bit of a loose cannon in the field as displayed by her chalk sock incident.She used to be extremely disciplined but when that hadn’t won her father’s approval, she’d gotten a little rebellious.

Re: A lot rebellious.

But she was hell with a sniper rifle.She’d keep watch from above and make sure that Alex wasn’t in danger coming in or out.

With her plans set, Alex has just accepted the fact that she’ll have to sleep alone and wait to talk to Kara in the morning when she sees the blonde sitting with her head buried in her knees in front of Alex’s bunk.It seems to be Kara’s mission to make herself as small as possible.

Cute as it is, Alex kind of hates it.

Kara isn’t _small._ Seeing her trying to occupy a space that she clearly isn’t comfortable in makes Alex uncomfortable.

And she’s already agitated from their previous fight and then the Cantina.If Kara wants to duke it out now, Alex won’t be able to control herself.Not with how tired she is.

Being in similar spots with her mother, Alex knows that that is a terrible equation.

There is no filter on Alex when sleep and anger are mixed together; there’s a part of her that escapes that _wants_ to inflict pain.

She’d rather break her arm again than do that to Kara.

“Can we please do this in the morning?”She requests, exhaustion pulling at her with ferocity.“I’m really tired and—”

“I’m sorry.”

“You’re… what?”

Alex is even more confused when Kara unfolds herself and stands, her fingers pulling at each other as she glances at Alex from beneath her lashes.

“You have a normal that I need to respect; you’re not great at… opening up.I get that and it’s not… I still care about you Alex.”She frowns now and tugs at her braid, the fly away strands numerous and wild from what has probably been hours of frustration.“But if we’re going to be… good together than I _need_ you to let me in on things like this.I need to know when you’re making something that affects me because otherwise it just feels sneaky.I trust you; I want to trust you, but I can’t if you keep things from me.”

Alex exhales slowly, her body tense despite her trying to relax the muscles in her hands and legs.She moves towards Kara with deliberate steps, her jaw working as Kara watches her with a wary eye, shrinking in on herself the closer Alex gets.Which is wrong.It’s all wrong and Alex wants to fix it.She lifts her hand, fingers sifting through heavy blonde silk before tugging forward and…

Kara tastes like dreams.

Like strawberries diluted in cream and something sweet.Like clouds and gasps of summer air and just… _dreams._

It’s dramatic but it’s the only way Alex can think to describe what she’s feeling.

She’s not sure what came over her; all she knows is that one second Kara had been giving her a list of demands and the next, she couldn’t take it anymore.

Because Kara had said all of the right things.Alex had been so sure that she’d have to defend herself; that she’d have to fight for any high ground in this completely unnecessary fight.In a move that was completely unexpected, Kara had beat her to the apology, pulling the rug from beneath Alex’s feet and leaving her reeling in amazement.

She wasn’t asking Alex to change, not really.She was just asking to be let in, and Alex could no longer think of any reason to keep her out.

She didn’t want a reason to keep her out.

It wouldn’t be an exaggeration to say Alex has wanted this for months.And now…

Kara tastes like dreams.

Like when you sleep, and you visit a land where nothing bad can possibly touch you and you have anything and everything you ever wanted.A land where anything good is possible and everything bad is impossible and it’s just _magic._

Slipping her hand further into Kara’s hair, Alex runs her thumb over the space in front of her ear.Her other hand is on Kara’s waist and she tugs the blonde closer, opening her mouth and capturing that enticing bottom lip between her own.

Kara releases a breath that sounds like a chirp and Alex is pretty sure she’s found heaven.

How was this _ever_ scary?

Kissing a girl is just like kissing a boy except better.Like a million times better.

“I’m sorry too.”She mumbles, leaning back just enough to be heard.The thought of moving away any further is physically painful.“I was an ass.”

Kara nods dumbly even though she looks adorably confused with her eyes glazed over and her eyebrows all pinched together.

“Uh huh.”

“I can’t promise it won’t happen again because I’m pretty sure I’m incapable of remembering what I forget to mention, but I promise I’ll try.”Alex presses their foreheads together, closing her eyes and exhaling through her nose.“For you, I’ll try anything.”

“Ok.”

God she even sounds like a dream.

But… Well she also hadn’t exactly kissed Alex back.And her hands are still curled into tiny little half fists between their chests, neither accepting or rejecting and—

Crap.

Maybe she’d made a mistake.Maybe she should have asked first?Or at least given Kara time to say no or—

Kara moves, her hands pressing against Alex’s chest and sliding up into her hair.Gods that tingles, makes little shocks dance along Alex’s skull; makes her fingers clench on Kara’s hip and release a shaky breath.She tries to duck her head to re-center herself but Kara’s nudging her with her nose, pushing her head up and then kissing _her._ Kissing _Alex._

“Can we do that some more?”Kara asks between soft caresses, her voice a breathy whisper laced with want.“I liked that very much.”

So Alex kisses her again.And again.And again, tilting Kara’s head so that she has a better angle and accidentally pulling on her hair.A happy accident that makes Kara jerk her hips and clench one hand in the collar of Alex’s shirt.

Accompanied by a whimper, it only helps to fuel Alex’s need for _more_.

She leans harder into the kiss, pressing Kara back against her bed and leading her down onto the mattress.Her tongue sneaks out, eager to taste, and finds that Kara’s already opened her mouth to receive her.Then Kara’s thighs also fall open to cradle Alex between them and it’s like a puzzle piece snaps into place.

As much as she wants to beat herself up for wasting their time and _not_ doing this sooner, Alex finds she can only focus on Kara.On the way she moves under Alex and the way she _sounds._

It’s even better than Alex’s imagination had been.

This is… wholly unexpected.

It’s the happiest discovery Alex has ever made about herself.

She is most certainly gay.

Whatever happens with the Rebels; she isn’t giving this up.For years, she’d wondered why Maggie hadn’t just lied but now that she’s here with Kara…

Alex can’t imagine ever being anything but true to this amazing woman.And Kara wouldn’t want to lie.She wears her heart on her sleeve most times and lives completely.Someone else’s disapproval would never matter to her.

There’s no way Alex is going to let it matter to her either.

Not when it would mean saving Kara’s feelings.

She’s so much deeper than she thought she was.

~*~

Lying on Alex’s chest, Kara tries very hard not to float away.Her suit does a good job of keeping her Force sensitivity hidden from anyone who can tell, but that only works if she doesn’t _use_ the Force.An extremely difficult feat when she’s so happy.

After their impromptu make out session wherein Alex had pressed her into the mattress and made every nerve ending in Kara’s body come alive, her Rebel had taken to pressing soft kisses to Kara’s hair, cheeks, and chin.

She’s still doing it now, all while explaining her plans in detail.Kara understands all of it and has already made a note to herself to also somehow have Alex’s back tomorrow.

It’s when Alex starts to go into detail of how she made the Red Sun grenade that she loses Kara.But only slightly.

The mechanics and the science are just so intricate and while Kara may have been a science prodigy in her youth, she’d always strayed more towards the physical sciences.Not so much the combustion.

Apparently, Alex has a thing for making things go boom.

Kara sighs and rolls almost completely on top of Alex, who grunts but immediately circles her arms around Kara’s waist.Smiling, the Kryptonian rests her chin on the back of her hand and pushes stray hairs from Alex’s face.It was just as perfect as she’d imagined it would be.

“I love how smart you are.”She murmurs, sliding a finger down Alex’s nose.“Your intelligence is so amazing; you would have done well on Krypton.My father would have loved you.”

“Tell me about him.”Alex requests, catching Kara’s hand and kissing the pads of her fingers.

Shrugging, Kara giggles at the soft sensation.Alex’s lips are like little pillows.

“I didn’t really know him.The Jedi took me when I was so young that I only saw my parents a handful of times.They were as present as they could be but… the Jedi don’t like when you form attachments.”

Alex leans up and kisses her nose.

“Is that why you hate them?”

“I don’t hate them.”

“You’ve got that adorable crinkle going on in your forehead.”Alex comments, nuzzling Kara’s temple before dropping back to her pillow.“And your nostrils are flared.”

“So?”

“So, you only get like that when something’s wrong.It’s ok if you hate them; I’m not judging.”

“I don’t hate them.”Kara mumbles, feeling her face darken even more and laying down on Alex’s chest to hide it.

A soft squeeze presses against her sides.“Ok.”

They lay like that for a while, Alex seemingly content to allow Kara to run from her truths while running a finger along the bumps of Kara’s spine.It seems unfair almost, that Alex has just laid out everything Kara had asked of her and now _she’s_ the one hiding things.It’s just that… normally, when people get a whiff of her true feelings of the Jedi, they think she’s aligned herself with the Sith.

And Kara would never do that.

She and Kassandra may be twins, but they were vastly different people.

“They took everything from me.”Kara admits, faltering slightly at each of Alex’s breaths.When Alex doesn’t do anything more than continue to rub her back, she finds the strength to continue.“I didn’t have a chance to know my parents or my people because _they_ thought it would be best.And now I’ll never have that chance.I lost my sister and Kal and…and an entire planet. Winn was all I had left.”

“I obviously wasn’t alive back then.”Alex admits, “but J’onn was.I don’t know if you could sense it, but he used to be a Jedi Master.Before Mars.When Krypton sent out the distress calls, he told me that the council hesitated.The Force was warning them of a great evil awakening in the region; something that would change the very heart of the Jedi and the Code they followed. They hesitated in order to protect the Order.It’s why he knew they wouldn’t come to his aid when Mars fell.”

“They’ve turned into bureaucrats,” Kara complains, digging her nose into Alex’s shirt.“All they want to do is wait around for The Force to guide them.Even when they know what they’re doing is wrong; that what’s happening around them is wrong.”

“Is that why you didn’t want to visit the Council?”

“Giving them the intel wouldn’t have done anything.They wouldn’t have acted on it; it would have turned into a months’ long debate.I don’t have time for that but there’s also… when I fight… the Jedi kill.And the Sith kill.But I don’t want to.I’ve felt people die around me and I never want to be responsible for that kind of pain.For the person or their loved ones.

Alex busses a kiss to the top of her head.“You might not have a choice in that for much longer honey.”

“There were only two people I wanted to kill but I guess it will be three now.”

“The Cisar hopefully.”

“Him,” Kara agrees, “but also my Aunt now.And Kassandra.My sister was my responsibility; I’ve let this go on too long.”

“I’m sorry.”Alex says, sounding genuinely remorseful as she hugs Kara closer.“I know that can’t fix what happened but for whatever it’s worth, I would have defied the council back then.J’onn did.”

It feels like something closes over her heart, stealing her breath and making her freeze along Alex.

“He did?”

“Yeah… it’s why he’s a little… _different._ He was close to the destruction when it happened and he’s an insanely powerful Force user.He didn’t stand a chance at maintaining his sanity.And then Mars happened a little after that and…”Alex shrugs and kisses the top of Kara’s head.“This is kind of depressing; let’s talk about something else.”

“Like what?”

Kara is all for a topic change, it’s a little difficult to organize her thoughts when she’d been so sure that no one had stood for her people.To now know that a lone Jedi _had…_ it’s disconcerting.She’s not sure what to do with the information.

There’s a brief pause in which Alex probably considers all the things they can talk about, before the brunette sighs and shrugs again.

“I’m not sure.I’m not a very good conversationalist.”

“You?”Kara teases, peaking up at Alex again and forcing the wide grin that wants to break across her face into a teasing smirk.“No.”

Her punishment is being mercilessly tickled, Alex’s fingers pressing into her sides until she’s on her back nearly blue in the face with her laughter.Ceasing her torture, Alex props herself up on her elbow, looking down at Kara with her own warm smile, one of her fingers booping Kara on the nose.

The entire thing is incredibly sweet and Kara can’t help leaning up for a sweet kiss, breathless chuckles still rumbling in her chest.

“I have been thinking about this one thing.”Alex whispers when they’ve calmed down some, tracing the arch of Kara’s brow and nose with her thumb.

“What thing?”

“Just…”The blush alerts Kara that this is probably going to be incredibly endearing.“What I would want after the war.With you.”

Yep.For all that Alex thought she’d be bad at this, she was painfully sweet and Kara has to swallow to get her heart back into her chest.“Yeah?Any good ideas?”

Alex huffs, dropping onto her side and propping her head up on the hand of her bent arm.“Not really.I’ve never really thought about it before but maybe it’s something we can think about together?”

“I’d really like that.”

“Good.”Alex grins, dropping her eyes from Kara’s for second, a move Kara recognizes she does when she’s especially pleased and doesn’t know what to do with herself.

“So after the war,” she starts, because Alex has already offered this olive branch and she wants her to not look so lost.“I’m pretty sure there’s still going to be some confusion; people who need help.I had planned on going to them… at least until everything quiets down.”

“That’s… yeah.That sounds good.”

“Are you just saying that?”

“No, of course not.I… I know I probably shouldn’t, but I feel responsible for the fallout of…”Alex gives a vague wave with her free hand before letting it drop on the exposed skin of Kara’s hip. _Oh._ That felt good.“All of this.I don’t want to win the war only for the people I wanted to save to be swept into another vacuum of tyranny.”

She has to bite her lip to not smile so hard.“Well said.”

“I guess that means we’ll really have to repair the Hawk.”Alex says, her hand circling Kara’s waist and pulling her a bit closer.“At least until the Republic gets their shit together.”

“Really?You don’t want to be a career space pirate?”

Alex snorts.“Hardly.I want something quiet.Something…I don’t know, just away you know?”

“Yeah.”Kara breathes because she does know.She knows very well.“Although that does bring up the point that we don’t know all that much about each other.Like the little things I mean; likes and dislikes.Like do you like music?”

Laughing softly, Alex nods.“Yeah.Jazz mostly; Eliza got me into it.”

“I can see that.What about movies?”

“No.More of a reader.”

“Oh?”Kara perks up.“What genre?”

“Mystery.”

This time she doesn’t even try to hide her smile.“Of course.”And then because she’s feeling acutely bubbly, “what’s your favorite thing about me?”

Humming, Alex resumes tracing her face until she reaches Kara’s lips.Some of that bubbly suddenly disappears.If Alex says a completely ass thing about _kissing_ being her favorite thing…

“Your smile… or maybe your cheeks?I… maybe just the way your face looks when you smile?I don’t know it’s hard to pick.You just look so…”Alex trails off at the same rate Kara’s bubbly returns, suddenly and without warning.

“Finish your sentences.”Kara chides.“I look so what?”

Alex’s mouth ticks, her thumb swiping a gently caress over Kara’s cheek.“Enchanting… beautiful… you—you smile and your cheeks go up like…”Alex smiles so softly that Kara’s chest aches, and then she’s shaking her head.“I don’t know but it’s adorable.And the way your eyes shine Kara…your whole face just _glows._ And when you smile because of me?Pft.I don’t even…”

Though she drops her head again, Alex’s smile doesn’t leave her face.She’s clearly at a loss; clearly thinks she’s shared too much or that Kara might not approve.

Idiot.

She pushes Alex back onto her back, laying completely on top of her and kissing her until they’re both breathless.

“You have no idea how happy you make me.”Kara says, “the amount of smiles I want to give you.”Alex’s fingers dig into her hips and Kara kisses her again before mumbling her own admission.“Forehead kisses.My favorite thing… when you hold me and kiss my forehead.I feel so safe.”

It's obviously no surprise when Alex squeezes her and leans up to place a proper kiss on Kara’s head.

Kara hums in appreciation and props her head back on her hand so she can look at Alex properly.There is something else she had wanted to know.

“I wasn’t being creepy or anything but… I noticed you had a tattoo.”

“Yeah?”

“Can I see it?”

Alex arms begin to retract before she seemingly thinks better of it and simply leans in.“Kisses first.”

Giggling, Kara acquiesces.

“You drive a hard bargain Captain Danvers.”

“’m not a captain.”Alex mumbles, sealing their mouths together and sighing.

Kara’s never felt more powerful then she has in the past hour or so.She’s not going to bring it up, but Eliza’s death is still very recent, and this is the first time that Alex has let herself enjoy something since then.The way she relaxes against Kara— _for_ Kara is addicting.

There’s a hint of guilt for the things she’s planning.

She’d heard Alex and M’gann talking.She hadn’t been eavesdropping!It was just that Alex had gone off by herself in a hostile environment and Kara had been worried!

And then she’d been curious when M’gann had said that Alex was thinking of having sex with her.Kara remembers how frustrated Alex had been when she’d been distracted about the thought of _liking_ Kara.Now she was drinking a bit more than was advisable because she’d been distracted by the thought of _sex_ with her.

Kara wants to have sex with Alex too but her brave Rebel can be as slow as the Fleets largest frigate and she’s not sure she trusts Alex to make that kind of move before they die of old age.And Alex had been right when she said they might die in the war.Loathe as Kara is to admit it, what they’re doing _is_ very risky.She’d been so sure she’d eliminated all of her emotional ties to Kassandra but had cried at the first sight of her sister.

If they’re going to survive this then Kara can’t be distracted by her evil family and Alex can’t be distracted by her neglected vagina.

Of the two of those concerns, Alex’s was easier to take care of.

It might just take some seduction on Kara’s part.

Her stomach flips, Alex’s arm tight around her back as she reverses their positions and finally breaks the kiss.

“You,” Alex breathes, nibbling at the skin below Kara’s ear.“Are criminally good at that.”

“You too.”

Alex hums and pulls away completely, dragging her shirt over her head and leaving her in a plain black chest wrap.

Oh boy.

Smirking, Alex lifts her right arm so that Kara can see the tattoo that begins on her rib cage and stretches along her back.

“It’s the God of War.”Alex tells her, fingering the spot that holds a small girl child with angry eyes.“I heard this one story that kind of stood out from the ones you usually hear.This one describes a General who went looking for the God of War’s help.” Her hand moves from the small of her back, tracing over the gold armor of a screaming man, his extended hand running up the side of her ribs.Like he’s running from the girl.“He expected a big muscular man and instead was greeted by a feeble child.When he questioned her, she turned into suffering itself and told him about all the crimes that war brings and the families it destroys.She told him of the pain he was asking _her_ to help him inflict and then commanded him to never call upon her again.”

There are dark clouds of red and black surrounding the girl, her hands hanging low at her sides as her robes spread around her, frozen in an invisible wind.

It’s really beautiful.

“Who told you that story?”Kara questions, following Alex’s fingers over her ribcage.

The Rebel shivers, eyes closing briefly before she catches Kara’s fingers and flops onto her stomach.

“M’gann.We were in space for a while, so she told me a bunch of cool stories.She’s really big on female empowerment.”

Kara fights a grin.“Well that would explain your crew.”

Not bothering to hide her smile, Alex folds her arms under her head and allows Kara to continue tracing over her tattoo.

It’s quiet and comfortable, a soothing peace drifting over them as the brunette slowly falls asleep.Kara pulls the covers over Alex’s naked torso, snuggling into her side and closing her own eyes.

This was better than she’d imagined and tomorrow, she’d have to fight to protect it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> KISS! THEY KISSED! Finally! Geez; I thought it'd never happen. This slowburn stuff is torture. Who enjoys this? lmao.
> 
> Alright, so starting off that convo about the Red Sun grenades was me trying to see Lena's side in the show. This was way back before any of the current season happened sooooo… obviously my viewpoints have... evolved. But it did inspire a spin-off sort of fixit that I'm working on. It's pretty emo but it's helped me understand Kara and Lena so much better as like just people. Stay tuned.
> 
> Alex is still horny; Lucy may have to be the sympathetic bestie but M'gann does not. And seeing as Alex is advertising her thoughts at high volume, she doesn't really get a say in the commentary.
> 
> Cat's advice is sage advice. Everyone you meet is different; learn how they like to be treated and then see if that's something you're into. If not, kindly dip. If yes, than stick around and hold on tight.
> 
> I really love the idea of a tattooed Kara who everyone thinks is a badass but she's really just a happy puppy.
> 
> Then the apology: Alex was kind of feeling attacked and remember, her feelings are pretty raw and right up on the surface. So where before she may have swallowed her pride for the mission's success, now she's a bit more grumpy and stubborn. Hence why Kara had to make the first move. Although to be clear, I think they were both jerks about it.
> 
> J'onn's story is basically this: he was the Original Revan kind of guy. First Krypton happened, and although he didn't make it in time to help, he still felt the ripples more than anyone else who survived. Then the Mandalorian Wars erupted in the outer rim and he peaced out to go save everyone. In my scenario, the Outer Rim would be Mars and the Mandalorians would be the White Martians. Also, instead of going full Sith, he just went really crazy. Two major cataclysmic run ins with the Force will do that to you. Also, the Jedi Council said told him no both times he asked to go and for help. Same reason, different war. They sensed a dark energy that would take hold of any Jedi who went. #KOTOR.
> 
> I always hated that the Jedi took children from the cradle and cut them off from their families. Like, I love the Jedi as a whole I guess but... they're kind of a cult. I wanted Luke to fix them but then Disney ruined his character and well... I guess all hope lies with Rey now?
> 
> Alex is thinking about life after the war... like serious thoughts... like her and Kara still together thoughts... :) :) :) :)
> 
> And the tattoo. The tattoo story was a legit writing prompt post I saw on Pinterest which was a screenshot of a Tumblr users version of war and it just blew my mind. I never found the real Tumblr post but the story always stuck with me so thank you random Tumblr user. Thank you.
> 
> I think that's it? What'd ya think? Next chapter we get back to the action :)


	22. Ch 20: Ride or Die With Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Operation save Maggie commences.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> NSFW content in this one. All the way at the end though. Skip if you'd like.
> 
> Song: Kehlani-Gangsta

“Dox.”Kara taps at her watch, pulling up her scans of the planet’s fauna.Nothing especially dangerous.After years of having the sentient android as her brain companion, she no longer shakes her head at the odd sensation of someone speaking directly into her brain.“I need you to track Alex.Tell me where she and Lucy are at all times.”

Of course, speaking out loud is still a requirement that makes her look like a crazy person.When she thinks about it, she realizes she’s even luckier than she’d originally thought that Alex had still begun to return her feelings.

Waking up with a semi-nude Alex wrapped around her is not a blessing that Kara will ever take for granted.

Ever.

_“Of course Kara of No House at All.I will follow them with the tenacity of a Vornskr!”_

Rolling her eyes, Kara fights not to face palm, pulling on a pair of Alex’s boots and standing up from the bunk. Alex and Lucy had just left, Alex giving her a soft kiss goodbye and an order to stay on the ship.

Yeah right.

“Considering we were almost eaten by Vornskrs, I think we should ease up on referencing them.They might be summoned like particularly pesky Force ghosts.”

“ _This is statistically improbable.”_

“Just—follow them.”

Forgoing the leather jacket that Alex had put her in, Kara instead opts for a short hooded tunic.Alex preferred to wear it when she was doing repairs and so, although clean, it was still stained and smelled lightly of grease and sweat. And Alex. A perfect way to disguise her scent from the Hutts.And the sleeves fell well passed her hands which would allow her to keep her suit hidden.

With a hood to hide her face, she wouldn’t even need to involve—

“Are we sneaking out?Because Cat just started her face routine, so we’ve got at least 2 hours to get out of here.”

“Winn.”Kara grumps, completely annoyed that her best friend had caught on to her plans when she’d been being so sneaky.But then again… she hated doing things alone anyway.“What about Diana?Why aren’t you worried about her?”

“Because Cat’s scarier?”

“That’s fair… fine.I’m following Alex and Lucy.They need backup; they’re hopeless.”

Winn raises an eyebrow, peering at her skeptically as Kara snatches up her staff and straps it to her back.

“You do remember that Alex fought and  _survived_ against two Master Sith right?Like… she made Kas bleed.”

“I am aware.”

Maybe she should have done this by herself.Winn’s rationality is actually really annoying.

_El Mayarah Kara._

Whatever.

“Ok then.As long as we’re clear that you’re just being overprotective.”Winn pulls out Lucy’s makeup palette with a grin.“Want me to do your face again?”

With her makeup freshly applied, Kara leads Winn to the Ebon Hawk’s roof.No way would Diana not notice the hangar doors opening and Kara really didn’t want to have to fight her Master.

The roof was simple.

For her at least.

With current downpour, there was no way Winn would have made it down on his own.

The roof only meant that she had to carry Winn down on her back while avoiding the security cameras.Easy peasy.At least a lot easier since the rain will help mask their presence.Kara only slips  _once._

Winn dry heaves when they reach the floor.

“Are you ok?”Kara asks, gently patting his back in concern.“I tried to go slow.”

“Yeah.Yep.Peachy.”

“Great.Dox?”

_“They are seven miles due north west.I was of course, not spotted.”_

“Of course.”Kara offers Winn her hand, “ready?”

While Kara could have technically made the trip in about a minute, having Winn with her stretches that into 5.She sticks to the roofs and the shadows, carrying Winn on her back until she sees Lucy up ahead of them.

The pilot is laying flat on her belly, eye to a scope as she watches something below her.

Just as quickly as they have arrived, is Lucy lurching to her feet.Kara presses her arm against Winn’s chest, pushing them both behind a wall so that Lucy doesn’t spot them.Her friend quickly grabs her rifle and hurries to a ladder, disappearing from view.

What in the world was going on?

Had Lucy just  _left_ Alex?!

~*~

Alex feels off.

Which is never a good way to start a mission but… well, there’s not much she can do about it.They’re on a clock and she can’t “ungrief” herself, no matter how appealing that may sound.

This morning, when she’d been getting ready, she’d stood in front of the mirror and tried to will herself into being ok.Jeremiah had told her to say, “I’ve got this”, so she does.

Over and over.

I’ve got this.

I’ve got this.

You’ve got this Danvers.

_You’ve fucking got this._

It hadn’t really worked by the time Lucy had come to get her and so she’d just kept the words in a loop in the back of her brain.Whatever was about to happen would happen but… she’d lost too much to lose Maggie too.There was a time where the mission had been all that mattered to her but now… Kara has made her want to live passed this war’s resolution and, if she does that, she’d really like for her friends to be around to celebrate with her.To reminisce and fuck around and just… she wants them there.

It's become more than surviving battles.

She wants them to survive the war.

Alex blows out an annoyed breath because that thinking is just fucked.

People like them don’t survive wars.Lena does and General Lane probably will but her and Lucy and Maggie and even Kara?They were front lines.

She has to force herself to inhale sharply, the stench of urine and smoke immediately eviscerating her nostrils and distracting her from the terrible spiral she’d almost gone down.Nar Shaddaa was good for things like that.Distractions.

Filthy as the place was, you could find any form of entertainment your heart desired.Sex, drugs, alcohol, murder… the world was your oyster.

Also… 

The war between the Legion and the Rebellion doesn’t really exist on Nar Shaddaa.Not in the way it does for other planets.It’s not war torn like Coruscant, or under Legion or Rebel leadership like Taris and Yavin.It’s not even in peaceful isolation like Fodu was.

Instead it’s protected by the Hutts.

A syndicate of criminal activity so deep and untraceable that neither the Rebels nor the Legion wanted to take the risk of upsetting the mob bosses in charge of this space of the galaxy.For sure, either party wouldn’t hesitate in taking them on once they announced certain victory over the other, but until such time, the Hutts were simply too dangerous.

Which meant neither party was very welcome on the actual planet.

They could dock for trades, but they weren’t allowed to stay.

Gravak, the leader of the Hutts, was a businessman after all.Credits spoke louder than any alliances ever could.

It’s disgusting but it at least means that Alex doesn’t have to worry about being spotted by any Imps while she’s here.Instead, she’d grunged up her regular clothes to look more heathen than rebel and had gone to meet M’gann a few blocks away from Gravak’s holding cells.

Lucy is already posted up on a rooftop across from their exit and she will not shut up about Alex’s Kara trauma.

Her words; not Alex’s.

“ _I’m just saying that this fight is stupid, and you should suck it up like a big girl.”_

Alex rolls her eyes and waves at M’gann, her teeth gritted over a fake smile as she responds to the annoying voice in her ear.“I did suck it up. _We_ sucked it up and we’re fine.There’s no need to talk about this.”

“Oh girl.”M’gann chortles, crossing her arms and looking Alex up and down.“You sure did _suck_ it up.”

In her current disguise of Twi’lek, the more unsavory sort that sharpened their teeth and looked more rabid than gorgeous, M’gann looked more than a little creepy saying those things.And Lucy sounds more than a little pitchy when she whines about not knowing what’s going on directly in Alex’s ears.How she had gotten stuck with such these two Alex will never know, but she does know that they have a job to do and very little time to get it done.The distraction of Kara though, is very welcome.

It at least keeps the feelings of wrongness at bay.

Sorting out her feelings for Kara was actually doing wonders for Alex’s focus.She’d spent the past few weeks worried that she would never be able to figure this out and with one amazing kiss, everything had come into sharp clarity.

Looking back on it, Alex is kind of embarrassed that she hadn’t figured it out from the beginning when Winn had said that Kara found her “hot.”

Or, even before that.Like when none of her male partners had interested her in the slightest.

Go figure.

Huffing, Alex tugs a hand through her slightly dampened hair in annoyance, the rain only serving to agitate her even more.Because of course the weather wouldn’t cooperate with them either.Of course it would be raining like cats and dogs on a day where Alex might need to run and dodge blaster fire.

With her mental acuity at stake, she really needs a win today.Although she does kind of feel bad for hoping that Maggie is at the auction.That would mean she’s probably spent days on a slaver’s ship and those things were known for being gross.And if her family was with her…

Alex is half tempted to buy her friend a tracker.

Without telling her.

_“Why does M’gann know about this and not me?!”_

“Because M’gann can read my mind!”Alex hisses, flipping M’gann off for good measure.“Now can we focus?”

_“When you get back I want details Danvers!”_

Swiping a hand over her face, Alex ignores Lucy’s attempts to get more information out of her and instead gestures for M’gann to start moving.She’s still laughing but she acquiesces and leads Alex into the building in front of them, bypassing the guard at the gates with relative ease and taking them down into the belly of the prison.The place is massive and well-guarded but M’gann must have chosen a well-known smuggler to be able to get passed everyone with such ease.Alex isn’t going to complain, and she instead focuses on her own role.

She has to pretend to be interested in the “wares”: the people that Gravak has locked in metal cages and is about to sell to the highest bidder.It gives them the excuse of being down here as well as being able to freely search for Maggie.But apparently this is a common practice among Gravak’s more important clientele because there are other such tours happening all around them.At least a handful of wealthy people looking for new slaves or entertainment.

It’s an inconvenience but not a deal breaker.

The slaves are almost all huddled against the back of their cages, metal collars fit around their necks to control them and keep them calm.Having enraged people screaming for freedom would hardly be good for business.In front of each cell is a small card that describes the person like an item.

_This specimen was found on Corelia.Beautiful bone structure, good frame._

_Can be used for domestic purposes._

_Starting bid: 500 credits._

Yeah.

When the rebellion won, this was the first place Alex was coming back to.

“Focus on why we’re here.”M’gann says at her shoulder, “we’re looking for your human girl.Whatever else you want to do, save it for later.”

Alex grits her teeth but nods.

Any memory that has come up from her childhood, is shoved back in the box in her head.

It’s harder than normal and Alex can’t think of why.She _knows_ but she can’t and—

Focus.

Maggie.

Her eyes track over the room, scanning over each cage and individual on the left side and coming up with nothing.Fighting the urge to curse, Alex turns to the right, slowing her perception as she attempts to find Maggie.She has to be here, or Alex isn’t sure what—

A fist closes over her heart and she barely manages to inhale on her next breath, M’gann turning to her sharply when Alex freezes mid turn.

“Alex.”

The name sounds hollow, like M’gann’s speaking into a pillow.It sounds so far off that it barely registers in Alex’s brain, doesn’t pull her attention from the blonde hair and the lean woman in front of her.

She had told them.

Alex had told _them!_

No one had believed her but—

She feels her feet move of their own accord, her heart pounding as she reaches and spins the woman to face her and—

It’s not her; the brown eyes that look at her curiously don’t match the blue that she had expected and neither does the mouth.It’s too small, too crinkled and pursed.The nose is—

“I’m so sorry ma’am, my client is looking for a blonde human and I’m afraid she got a bit too enthusiastic.”M’gann’s hand lands on the small of Alex’s back, and her grin as a Twi’lek with pointy teeth only makes her stomach turn even more.

She’d thought it was Eliza. She had been so _sure._

The couple she had interrupted give her disgusted looks and turn to leave, talking angrily amongst themselves.M’gann looks sympathetic when she turns to her but whatever she would say is cut off when the guards start ushering them out of the room.

“Whoa fellas,” M’gann implores, hands up and a smarmy smile in place.“What’s the hurry?”

The guard closest to them, a bored looking older Sullastan with more than a few gold teeth shrugs carelessly.“One of the slaves decided to rebel.Gravak’s gonna execute them as an example.Fuckin’ humans never learn their place.”He shoots Alex a sarcastic smirk, the ridge of skin around his mouth fluttering in amusement.“No offense.”

The smile she gives him is tight and false as she tries to control the rising panic inside of her chest.Luckily M’gann doesn’t seem to be having the same difficulties because she laughs and claps the man on the shoulder, squeezing between him and a younger Rodian, the latter of whom looks like they are trying very hard to seem scary.

“Tell me about it.I only work with them when I have too.Though they can be useful for… some _entertainment_ purposes.

The Rodian perks up, arms held wide as they finally finish moving the people back onto the street.“Oh yeah?Well then you would have really liked this one.She was tiny and feeble and would have probably died within a few years, but she had pretty brown hair.”

“Pretty you say?”M’gann raises an eyebrow and nudges Alex.“My friend is looking for pretty.Sure Gravak won’t part with this treasure?”

“Nah.”The Rodian swipes a dismissive hand, the Sullastran spitting a white wad of spit onto the gravel near Alex’s feet.“This one was too wild.Took five of our men to put her down; Gravak wants to make an example of her for embarrassing him like that.”

M'gann shrugs.“Well you can’t win ‘em all eh?”She nudges Alex towards Gravak’s main building.“Come on, the least we can do is get a look at this beauty before they feed her to the Sarlac.”

The Rodian waves them off but Alex still waits until they’re far enough away to ask.

“Was it her?”She trusts M’gann, that whole conversation may not have been enlightening on the outside but M’gann’s telepathy would prove more accurate.If she had been able to see Maggie in either of those oafs’ brains then—

“Yes.”M’gann confirms, hurrying her footsteps and urging Alex to do the same.“We don’t have a lot of time.”

And that was on Alex.

Because she couldn’t keep her fucking head in the game!

Exchanging a terse look with M’gann, Alex mentally prepares herself for a fight.

“Lucy,” Alex calls, “change of plans.”

~*~

Kara follows behind Lucy at a safe distance.Making sure to stay well enough behind her so that Lucy’s super spy skills can’t detect her.

“I should have stayed on the ship.”Winn whimpers.“I have a feeling something really bad is going to happen.”

“Yeah.”Kara agrees, using her enhanced vision to zoom in on Lucy bumping into a servant girl.They’re pretty close to the local Hutt Lord’s palace, so the girl must be coming from there.She certainly seems to be in a hurry.Whatever is happening in there, it’s a last minute change.“You have your blaster on you?”

“Yes.”Winn squeaks, patting his side.

“Ok.”Kara nods decisively.“Here’s the plan.”

~*~

Walking into Gravak’s Palace on a normal day might have been a suicide mission but he’s already sent out the news of his execution to the public.

And, as they say, everyone likes a good show.

With the large crowd, Alex is able to slip in undetected.She is not however able to get through the crowd.

“Well…”she murmurs to M’gann.“This is new and terrible.”

If they can’t get through the crowd, then they won’t be able to get through to Maggie.And, if they make a  _scene_ getting through the crowd, they probably won’t even  _reach_ Maggie.To die immediately or to die with Maggie.Decisions, decisions.

Alex is loath to ask M’gann to create a distraction, she hates putting other people in danger when she can easily take her lumps, but she’s not the shape shifter in their party.Sometimes being a leader sucks.She’s just opened her mouth to ask M’gann for the unthinkable when her friend nudges her side.

“It just got worse.”M’gann says, pointing at a hooded figure easily parting the crowd.“Pretty sure that’s your girl.”

The woman is tall and her height  _fits_ Kara’s but… Alex had left Kara on the ship with a full layout of her plan.Kara was not in the plan.And Kara had just chewed Alex out for not letting  _her_ in on an idea.There was just no way.

“That’s not—”

“I can’t read her.She’s the only one I’ve ever met I can’t read.”

“Fucking—Diana!”Alex ducks her head, tilting it towards M’gann so that it doesn’t look like she’s hailing the Ebon Hawk.“Diana respond!”

_“I do not take orders lightly.We’re all equals and—"_

“Is Kara on the ship?”

_“Yes, she’s—”_

_“No.”_ Cat interrupts, sounding a little further away. _“She’s not.Her and Winslow snuck out almost a half hour ago.”_

_“And you didn’t **say** anything?”_

_“Kara is an adult.A questionable one to be sure, but she and Winn need to learn how to make their own choices.”_

_“This is why they left!”_ Diana hisses. _“Because you were feeding them dreams of… of…”_

_“Independence?”_

_“Don’t—”_

“Stop it!”Alex orders, swiping an annoyed hand over her face.“Just—have the ship ready.This is going to be an in and out mission.Be ready to take off at my signal.”

Alex turns back to Kara, now able to see that Winn is leading Kara up to Gravak’s platform by a thick rope around her neck.

Idiots.

Useful, stupid,  _idiots._

“M’gann, can you phase us closer to Maggie  _and_ remain undetected?”

“Hold tight.”

Alex has no idea what Kara is planning but she can’t compromise their mission with worry.Winn would never hurt Kara; he probably couldn’t even if he really wanted to but, god help her she trusted him.And she trusted Kara.

Whatever they were doing, she knew they’d only come to help.

She had to let them.

It was almost physically painful to do so.

“Great Gravak.”Winn shouts when he and Kara reach the Hutt.He dips into an awkward bow before righting himself, M’gann’s hand landing heavily on Alex’s shoulder as they melt into the wall.“I come bringing gifts.A beautiful new slave to serve you as is your pleasure.”

Gravak grunts, gesturing with his hand and speaking in Huttese.A series of garbled sounds and rumbles.

M’gann walks them through a wall leading to the front of the room, using the distraction caused by Kara’s hood being ripped from her head to rematerialize them on the Hutt’s floor.

Very close.

It’s still extremely crowded but now Alex can see Maggie, face stoic as she stands on a retractable floor, the metal grooves uneven under her feet. Her hands have been bound in front of her and her feet are bare.She’d probably been wearing good boots if someone had chosen to take them from her.

Luckily, the retractable portion of the floor is small, only big enough to fit a large man.

It’ll be tricky.

While Alex’s focus has been on working a new way out for Maggie since she obviously would no longer be able to just buy her, the rest of the room was completely focused on Kara.

The crowd around them breaks into whispered words of awe, seeing Kara’s full face and thick blonde hair under her disguise.She has, of course, reclaimed her look from the day prior.The spider tattoo creeping up her neck and giving her that bad girl vibe.

Apparently Gravak likes it.He motions Kara closer, one of his other servants going for her tunic and tugging it down.

Which means they can now see her suit.

Fuck.

Gravak says something and Kara shakes her head.

He points at Maggie and Kara shakes her head.

The Hutts tongue slithers out of his mouth, seeking Kara’s skin and finding nothing but air.Growling angrily, Gravak tries again to lick the Kryptonian, Hutts being famous for their sense of smell and taste.Kara takes another step back and Winn yanks hard at the rope on her neck, making her stumble towards the Hutt.Gravak’s tongue glances off her forehead and he makes a pleased grunting sound.

It’s exceedingly gross. 

Winn laughs and waves a careless hand, offering the rope to Gravak.When Gravak laughs, it’s a lot more unsettling.

_Closer_ .

_Closer_ .

Something goes wrong.Alex isn’t sure what, just that the energy in the room seems a lot more hostile.It’s punctuated by Gravak’s nod towards his men, by Winn’s eyes widening in alarm.Luckily, this time, Alex listens to her gut and is already in position when Gravak’s men open the floor beneath Maggie’s feet. The pommel of her sword is familiar and comfortable in her hand, one of the few things she can still rely on, and Alex hurls it with deadly accuracy and force at Maggie’s feet.

Luck remains on her side, her timing impeccable as Maggie lands on the sword, balancing precariously as she throws a shocked look at Alex.

“Let’s go.”Alex yells, pulling her daggers and meeting two of Gravak’s guard with the sharp edges of her blades.

She doesn’t see Maggie leap off her sword onto sturdier ground, but she spins in time to throw one of her daggers through a guard’s neck.His blaster, aimed at Maggie, falls limply from his hand and M’gann picks it up.

Maggie runs over to them, Alex and M’gann fighting back to back as they wait for her.The spy holds her bound hands up for M’gann to cut, accepting the offered blaster and joining the fray.

“Cover your ears.”M’gann tells Maggie just as Alex presses the button on a sonic device.

The high frequency sound sends the entire room to their knees, the small group running through the now disabled crowd to the exit.

Alex is through the doors first, the sword she hadn’t thrown still in her hand.It helps her block the stun baton of one of the Rodian guards, M’gann engaging with another Twi’lek a few feet away from her.Maggie is shooting into the crowd and Alex has lost track of Kara and Winn.

Shit.

_Shit._

She had been sure that the sonic grenade would disable the guards for a lot longer.Getting through the men in front of her isn’t really a problem; their numbers are still not very troublesome.But the heavy downpour is making her sight unreliable and there’s no way in hell she’s leaving without Kara.

A guard drops next to her, a blaster hole in his head and Alex sends a mental thank you to Lucy as she simultaneously defends their exit and searches for Kara.

“Lucy!”She calls, parrying a sword and ducking under her assailant to avoid the blaster of his friend.“Do you see her?!”

_“Negative Cap.It’s mayhem down there.”_

“Fuck.”Alex breathes.“How much time do we have?”

_“Two minutes.”_

“Clear a path for them.I’ll catch up.”

_“Like hell you will!I—”_

Alex doesn’t hear what Lucy was going to say next because she’s thrown off of her feet, her eardrums vibrating painfully in her skull.It’s not exactly a sound she had heard so much as it’s the sensation of a burst of thunder, and an explosive wave of rushing air.

_“Holy shit that was hot!”_ Lucy crows in her ringing ear. _“Kara just thunder clapped the shit outta everybody! I’ve got her Cap.She’s on your five!Move!Go!”_

Growling, Alex pushes herself up to her feet and takes off, hauling Maggie behind her.M’gann doesn’t even look like she’s been in a fight, her reclaimed green Martian form flawless as usual.It’s aggravating.This whole situation is making Alex feel completely powerless and it’s all she can focus on to put one foot in front of the other.They were almost out of this.Almost back to the Hawk.She could save her  _feelings_ for then.

When she senses the oncoming attack, she has every intention of bringing her sword to bear and severing the guards head.What happens instead is she has a gut warning to throw her head to the side which she instinctively follows.

It prevents her from attacking the guard, but it saves her from having her brains plastered on the pavement.The left side of her scalp feels hot and irritated, the molten hole in the guard’s forehead cluing her into what had probably happened.

Spinning, she is unprepared to see Winn and Kara behind her.

The Kryptonian has one hand on Winn’s blaster, which is still in his two-handed grip.Pointed at her. Both sporting wide-eyed expressions, Kara uses the brief moment of respite to point an accusing finger at Winn.

In a second of what Alex can only call complete insanity, she pauses to appreciate what a Kara in a skintight wet dark blue suit looks like, hair plastered to her face like that.Luckily the moment passes quickly, and Alex jabs a shaky finger over her shoulder, her feet already moving again.

This planet is crawling with criminals and they’re all going to be gunning for her party very shortly.The price they have all just put on their heads is going to be impressive and everyone is going to want to cash in.

They need to be gone yesterday.

“Diana!We’re coming in hot!”

~*~

“You’ve got ships blocking every exit!”Diana tells them as soon as they run onto the hawk.As soon as the hatch seals they’re airborne, Diana pushing the ship out of the dock.

“Uh, uh, uh.”Lucy reprimands, dropping her rifle to the floor and hurrying over to her pilot’s chair.“You don’t know how to talk to her.Scram.”

She makes a shoeing motion with her hands and Diana easily gives up the seat.

“We are so sorry Alex.We didn’t mean to shoot you I swear!”Winn whines next to her, Alex scanning the maps and quickly charting a pretty ridiculous course through hyperspace.She really loved her ship.

“It’s fine Winn.You got that guard so we’re even.”

“Actually—”

“Actually,  _I_ got that guard.”Lucy calls from the front, eyes darting over Alex’s planned jumps.“And as much as I love the chit chat, I need you up here Cap.Kara!”The blonde jumps, startled out of her guilty expression and focusing her attention on Lucy.“Do you know how to be gunner?”

“Um yes?Yes.I do.”

“Then you take the guns opposite Maggie.Shoot at any ship that shoots at us.Go!”

Alex swings herself to the front of the rig, strapping the seatbelt over her chest and grabbing the controls.

“This was supposed to be a stealth mission.”She says, not quite complaining but still a little annoyed.

“Oh, I know Cap.”

“I think I should stop making plans.”

“Or kick your girl off her high horse if she’s gonna go behind your back.”

Alex grunts, her fingers darting over the console and redirecting the power to shields and thrusters.They’d need to be fast.

What’s waiting for them is daunting.Gravak controls almost all of Hutt space, as displayed by the veritable armada that is forming behind their hasty exit. Getting out is not going to be an easy feat.

The first hit comes from a smuggler’s ship, which means the price on their head has already been decided.The Hawk barely rocks, and Kara and Maggie go to work in returning fire.

A larger ordnance is used the next time by an even larger ship and Alex immediately glances at the hyperdrive.Diana had luckily been charging it so they’re only ten percent from goal.

Just a few more minutes.

“This is suicide.”Lucy comments, diving under an asteroid and doing a spin roll to avoid more fire.

“Your piloting?I agree.”

“I don’t know why people have been laughing at your jokes.They’re not funny and now you think you’re a comedian.”

“Can you fly the course?”

“I can fly through anything your psychotic little brain can think up.”

“Then,” Alex says, watching as the space to their right becomes eerily dark, a sure sign of an oncoming hyper jump.With how big it looks, someone probably alerted the Sith.“Get us the hell out of here.”

“Aye, aye Captain.”

Their hyperdrive engine blinks green, signaling it’s charging completion and Lucy throws the throttle forward.Alex’s head is slammed into the back of her chair, the Sith Armada  _just_ coming through the breach as they disappear into a blue light.

Just in time.

Fuck.

Fucking hell.

Lucy’s hand fly over the controls, “I need everything we have on the sensors if we’re gonna get through the asteroid field!”

“Just keep your eyes open, I’ll watch the radar.”

“I just want you to know that I used to be really happy and now I hate all of you.”

“Noted.”Alex jerks her hand to the left, pointing incessantly to a nondescript spot as several ships follow them into hyperspace.“You’re gonna miss your jump!”

On top of that they are on a quick collision course with a rather large floating space rock.Alex isn’t worried.Not at all.

“Shut up!No co-pilot piloting!”

“Lucy!”

With a mighty yell Lucy throws them down, her hands forcing the controls into a steep descent that takes them under the asteroid.The roof of the Ebon Hawk scrapes the bottom of the rock, making the ship bounce and jerk around.Behind them Winn whimpers and Alex realizes they’d never sent him away.Great.Just great.

Following them, several of their pursuers are unable to perform the steep dive and turn into little more than fiery explosions.There’s a small twinge of guilt there.Those people hadn’t been Sith, had probably not even chosen a side in the war.The thing with smugglers was that they were either normal people just trying to stay alive in a civil war or they were terrible people intent on getting over on everyone else.

Alex tended to sympathize with the former.

Choking back another warning as their second relay point slowly becomes unreachable, Alex instead focuses on the radar.Directing canon fire to taking out the smaller rocks and trying to think of a new route in case Lucy  _does_ miss their entry.

She doesn’t.

Alex really wishes she did.

Lucy comes up under the entry to the next hyperspace jump and steers them into a flip.They enter a tight loop—too tight, and the engine stalls while they’re upside down and backwards.Alex’s stomach lodges in her throat as they go through the jump in this position, her fingers flicking desperately towards the thruster’s controls as they come out on the other end.She gets the engine back on and Lucy smoothly transitions them back to flying, the sensation of the ship righting itself almost making Alex blow chunks all over the dashboard.

She  _hates_ Lucy’s piloting.

Luckily, no one else in suicidal and they make their next jump without being followed.A jump after that and they’re in the clear, Alex sagging back against her seat and scrubbing a hand over her face.

“You know,” Lucy comments next to her, stretching her arms over her head and violently shaking herself.“I feel like that wasn’t that bad.”

Winn gags behind them and a second later the smell of puke hits.

It takes a lot for Alex not to kill Lucy.

~*~

“So they had this kid who was like  _nine_ , in chains and all I could think about was Jamie and… well  _Alex_ .”

“You do realize that the kid probably wound right back in Gravak’s custody.”

“Nah,” Maggie waves a careless hand, smoothly parting Alex’s hair.“I have contacts who picked him up.They were originally meant for  _me_ but well… I couldn’t just leave a kid behind ya know?”

Lucy rolls her eyes, but she can’t quite hide the smile on her mouth.Alex chooses to remain silent; she’s never been very good at thanking her friends for their consideration around her past, but she’s learned that they know anyway.

Instead she folds her hands along her stomach and relaxes back in the chair.Several moments of silence pass, the only sound coming from the comb clips Maggie uses to section out her hair.

It figures that  _someone_ would want to fill the silence.Alex just wishes she’d been a bit more prepared for the line of questioning.

“So, you’re with Kara now?”

“I’m with Kara now.”

Maggie hums, holding a section of Alex’s hair between her middle and pointer fingers.“Good for you Danvers; kissing the girl you wanna kiss.Seize the day.”The scissors in her hand flashes in the dim light, snipping away as Alex stares at the ceiling.

After they had escaped Nar Shaddaa, the smugglers,  _and_ the Sith, they had all regrouped to discuss damages.While Nar Shaddaa had had the equipment they’d need to make repairs, it did not in fact allow them any time to make said repairs.

And now, on top of the damage from Yavin, they would have to deal with the damage received during the escape.Lucy’s already charted a course to Naboo, a temperate planet that is located along the Mid Rim.At the moment, the Sith were hell bent on gaining control of the core worlds.They should remain undetected there.

Hopefully.

“You sure you want to do this?”One good thing to come from Lucy’s psychotic piloting: James had woken up.Probably from having his body hurled around the regen tank.The tall man holds a buzzing set of hair trimmers in his hand, eyebrow raised skeptically.“Some people say they want to do this and then they realize that their head is just not the right shape.”

“She’ll be fine.”Lucy argues, pointing at the photo on the screen of her tablet.“Just make sure you get the lines right.”

“You’re seriously trusting Lucy to style your hair?”Maggie asks, combing through the mop on top of Alex’s head and nodding when she’s satisfied with the evenness around Alex’s new semi bald spot.

Alex shrugs and closes her eyes.The tugs along her scalp are pretty soothing.“Lucy used to be a model.”

“When she was like 10.”

“When I was  _fourteen_ you ass.And of the three of us  _I’m_ the one who still keeps up with fashion blogs.”

“They’re run by Twi’leks!”

Maggie and Lucy break into their usual arguments and Alex sighs, glancing over at James and nodding.He’s got the sides of her heads evened out in a few quick strokes, taking his time on getting the back of her head to match.

It’s true that Alex had never put too much thought into her physical appearance.She’d always wanted to look presentable and on some level she knew she was attractive, but she’d never been overly concerned with portraying herself that way.Mostly because she’d never been interested in someone before.

She’s very interested now.

“I can’t believe Winn shot you.”James mutters, slowly moving the trimmers up and down.“I’m sure he didn’t mean it.”

“If he had, Lucy would have killed him.”

“Yeah… she scares me.”

Smirking, Alex closes her eyes again.“She scares a lot of people.”

“So…Kara.”

“Kara.”

“Do you love her?”

“Um,” Alex frowns, uncertain how to respond correctly.This was after all Kara’s friend, and like it or not, his opinion was semi important.“We haven’t really talked about it.”

“You shouldn’t need to talk about it to know.”James replies, the feeling of the razors scraping along the back of her head suddenly making Alex a bit nervous.

“Kara’s important to me but honestly, we haven’t been together that long.Love seems… big.”Plus… as much as it’s starting to feel like…  _that,_ Alex doesn’t want to jinx it.Or mistake hormones for emotions.

James grunts and a few strokes later, he’s pulled completely away from her.

“I thought the same thing with Winn, but love will make you do some crazy things.”

The way he says it is off, Alex glancing back at him in concern but then Lucy and Maggie see that she’s done, and she’s immediately flocked on all sides.Her friends fuss over her hair and Maggie brings out the comb again, apparently she now needs to style it.

James leaves the room quietly, Alex’s eyes following him out as she thinks over what he’s said. Her mind briefly worrying over whether he and Winn were alright.Before Yavin they had seemed fine but maybe she had missed something?Or maybe James had more permanent damage than what the ships diags had reported.Head injuries could have effects on personality…

Biting her lip, she files it away for later perusal and grabs Maggie’s hands, immediately halting her new makeover.

“Guys I appreciate all of this but there’s something else we need to talk about?”

Lucy’s eyes glint.“Revenge?Kara would look  _great_ with her own undercut too don’t you think?”

“Leave Kara alone.”Alex warns.“This isn’t about her, it’s about me.I’m…”She takes a deep breath, fists clenching on her thighs.Easiest way to do this was by ripping off the band aid.“I’m stepping down as your commanding officer.I’m not fit to lead.”

They both startle; exchange worried looks.Maggie sets down her hair tools and Lucy drops back into her seat.The silence that follows is sickening and Alex rushes to fill it.

“Lucy: you’ll take over until we can get back to the council.”The thought of letting the council decide what happens to her team is kind of sickening but it’s protocol and Alex is still a soldier.“Maggie and I will take our lead from you and—”

“Stop.”

“Lucy—”

“No.Seriously stop Alex.This isn’t…”Lucy shakes her head, “why do you feel like you need to step down?”

“Because I lost focus back on Nar Shaddaa.When we were looking for Maggie.I had a gut feeling and I ignored it; I went on the mission anyway and I almost got us all killed.”

Maggie sighs, folding her arms and rocking back on her feet.“The only one who’s expecting perfection from you is you Alex.We all have shit days; you showing up for me is not a bad thing.”

“Yeah; even if I was a bloody mess I’d come after you Cap.You know that.We’d all do the same for each other.”

“It’s not that simple.”Alex says pinching her brow in frustration.

“Well then help us understand.”Maggie says patiently.“What distracted you?”

“My…”Her throat works against the rapidly forming lump but she’s incapable of real sound right now.Incapable of making this make sense.But Maggie and Lucy are watching her, and she at least owes them this.She can do this.“I thought I saw my mom.”

“Oh.”Lucy whispers, face softening as she lets go of her annoyance.“Alex…”

Maggie however, remains confused.“What?Why is that—why would Eliza be on Nar Shaddaa?”

“She wouldn’t be.”Lucy says, still watching Alex.

“But then why—”

“She’s dead.”Alex is shocked when she  _isn’t_ overcome with pain.This feels softer, more exhausting and tender than anything.She wants Kara.“My mom is dead.”

Lucy sighs and pats the chair next to her.“Sit down Mags, I need to catch you up.”

~*~

Kara feels terrible, she’s sitting at the holodeck with her head in her hands as Winn paces back and forth in front of her.

They’ve been there since Kara had come back up from below deck, just in time to see Alex storm passed with a clouded look of anger.Lucy had quickly followed her, giving Diana instructions to keep an eye on the radar.

Winn had been hunched over a pile of vomit that Kara, although she had wrinkled her nose at it, had helped him clean up.The smell was still kind of lingering though, so they’d sought refuge on the upper deck of the ship.

Away from Alex’s brooding anger.

“Do you think she’s going to kill me?”

“Winn…”

“I just need to know if I need to jump ship.Literally.”

“I wouldn’t let her hurt you.You know that.”And she wouldn’t, Winn was her best friend.Kara would put herself between him and death a million times over.But Alex was… she hated that Alex was upset, even though she had every right to be.“We’ll explain that you were trying to save her.It will be fine.”

“Yeah.”Winn scoffs, “you saw her face.Not even you believe that.”

She didn’t.

For the past hour or so, Kara’s been going over what had happened on Nar Shaddaa.When she’d seen Lucy hurrying over to Gravak’s palace, she’d known that Alex had had to go in there alone.Saving Maggie at that point would have required a distraction of epic proportions.Like a human having somehow subdued a Kryptonian with a technical body suit.

She hadn’t quite counted on Gravak’s physical attraction and his demands that Winn make the suit into a bikini.

The Hutt’s need to prove what he would do to people who displeased him, had resulted in him immediately opening the floor below Maggie’s feet.Kara’s heart had just about stopped when she’d realized the unintentional damage she’d caused, but then Alex had thrown her  _sword_ and created a makeshift ledge and…

Well then the world had just kind of exploded into chaos, but they’d somehow made it out.

Winn had seen the assailant before Kara, she having been occupied in securing their exit, but when he’d gone to fire, she’d seen the missed trajectory.

Her hand on the gun had done nothing.

She’d been too late.

Alex owed her life to herself.

The crushing feeling of panic she’d felt hadn’t quite gone away but she can’t bring it upon herself to be mad at Winn.He’d already apologized a million times but… he was a terrible shot.

Everyone knew it.

He’d been trying to help.

Kara drops her head to the table with a thunk.

She can’t get the thought of a dead Alex out of her head.

Her leg jerks irritably under the table, bouncing to the rapid pacing of her heart.She needs to see Alex.Needs proof that she’s ok.

She doesn’t dare try to go find her.

She’s too afraid that she  _is_ mad.

Crap, crap,  _crap_ !

“Hello.”

Kara nearly breaks the holodeck when she stands, her knee slamming into the underside of the surface and causing the metal to warp.She quickly tries smoothing it out with her hands but working at half power proves that only extreme movements will see her super strength work.Somehow, she doesn’t think that punching the table back into shape would be the greatest idea.

Meanwhile, Winn has backed himself into a wall, staring at Alex with a wide eyed expression of alarm.For her part, Alex simply tilts her head curiously, her brow furrowing in thought as she glances first at Winn and then Kara.

“Lights.”

The lights above them change in hue and suddenly, Kara feels her cells recharging.Haltingly she lays a hand over the dent she’d created and pushes.It eases back into place near effortlessly.

“Yellow solar lamps recessed in the ceiling.”Alex comments idly, squinting at Kara and scratching at the hat on her head.“I—that’s probably something I should have told you right?That’s one of the things you were talking about?”

What?

That’s what she’s concerned with?Kara’s comfort over her telling her things?When Kara herself hadn’t told her of her own plans?

She was the worst girlfriend ever.

“I—yes Alex but… that doesn’t matter right now.I’m just… we can talk about it later.”

Alex nods, but continues to peer at her curiously.“Are you ok?”

“Me!?I—are  _you_ ok?”Seeing as Alex wasn’t about to shoot them, Kara feels a bit safer in crossing the distance between them.She can’t help when she starts pulling on her fingers, a habit she’d picked up in the Jedi Temple as a youngling.She’s just so nervous.“I’m so  _so_ sorry Alex. We both are. We were just trying to help I swear.”

“I know.”

“You know?”

Shrugging, Alex’s lips tick in that way that happens when she’s amused but unused to the source of the amusement.

“Is Winn  _hiding_ from me?”

“Yes.”Kara answers without hesitation, her eyes darting up to the black hat that is covering Alex’s head.It’s woolen in nature, clearly a knit pattern and covers all but the brunette’s bangs, the rest of the cloth slouching into a small adorable sack in the back.“He doesn’t want you to kill him.”

“Well then he should hide from Lucy.She’s a little touchy at the moment.”

“Ok but I— _you’re_ not mad?”

“Why would I be mad?You two saved Maggie’s life.You helped keep us out of trouble.Those are good things.”

“But I shot you!”Winn squeaks, alarmed and rushing to put a wall between them.“An accident though!I swear it was an accident.”

“Winn,” Alex sighs, “we’re good.Just… work on your aim.”

Her friend nods so hard Kara is afraid his head will fall off his neck and then nearly jumps to the ceiling when James lays a hand on his shoulder.

“Easy Winn, it’s just me.I’m starved; I wanted to know if you—”

“Yes!”Winn interrupts, grabbing James’ hand and practically running from the room.

Alex hums and then slowly reaches out towards Kara, her hand finding Kara’s palm and sliding along it until their fingers interlock.

“Do you mind if I speak to you in private?”

“Of course not.”Kara says, even though her heart is racing.Was Alex going to say that they were over?Was she hurt?

By the time they’ve made it to Alex’s bunk, Kara’s so full of anxiety she’s nearly shaking.It’s a little ridiculous how much this moment means to her.Whatever Alex says next might determine the course of their relationship and Kara’s pretty sure she won’t survive it at this point if Alex says she wants her to leave.

“How important is hair to you?”Alex asks when the door closes.Kara spins, watching Alex fidget nervously against the door, her arms crossed in front of her.“Or looks in general, I guess.Temporary looks but just—”

“Alex.”Stepping forward Kara cups her Rebel’s cheeks, allowing her thumbs to stroke over Alex’s skin. Her own inner torment is forgotten in lieu of assuaging Alex’s uncharacteristic bout of anxiety. “Hey, what are—you’re beautiful.You know that right?”

And she is; from the moment Kara had looked into Alex’s brown eyes, her cheeks smeared with dirt and oil from Taris’ undercity, she’d thought she was gorgeous.Many people thought Kara attractive because of her blonde hair and blue eyes, the traits uncommon enough that she was seen as exotic.Kara herself had always been more partial to darker characteristics and, while Alex may run a little pale due to all of her time in space, her eyes were so especially brilliant that Kara couldn’t help but drown in them.

Plus, there’s the jaw; and the physique; and the attitude.

Really, Alex doesn’t have a lot about her that  _isn’t_ attractive.

The rambling is a little out of character for Alex but Kara’s kind of gotten the feeling that Alex will ramble when she’s out of her element.Which is usually only when feelings are involved.That Alex is worried about Kara’s feelings regarding her looks is a little more than disconcerting.

Luckily, her rebel rebounds quickly.

Alex wrinkles her nose, lowering her head and huffing.“Gross.”

“Why?It’s true.”

It is.No matter how much it may make Alex uncomfortable, Kara won’t lie and say that she finds Alex anything less than stunning.

Nothing could make Kara think otherwise.

When Alex pulls off her hat, Kara isn’t sure what she had been expecting.A bandage to be sure but not… holy hell.

Oh Rao.

“I’m gonna grow it back.” Alex mumbles, tugging at the hat in her hands.“I know you liked it longer but… it’s just temporary.So it can grow back evenly.”

Kara swallows, her throat aching as every trace of moisture vanishes from her mouth.She can actually hear the mechanics of her esophagus at work while taking in the rough cut that’s now falling haphazardly into Alex’s face.Kara’s fingers itch to push it back but Alex beats her to it, raking an impatient hand through the reddish brown locks.They fall right back in her face and Alex huffs impatiently.

Her hair is now shorn to her ears, the front longer than the back and draping a little passed her chin.There is a slight sheen to the side of her head that had been injured but no bandage.A burn rather than an injury then.Probably ointment.

With the sides of her head shorn to a little more than a buzz cut, and the back in a similar condition, it sort of looks like a boys’ style.The longer front, and Alex’s own bone structure destroy any of those ideas though.

Instead of a woman having a man’s haircut, Alex is a woman who has managed to transform the cut into power and sexuality the likes of which Kara has never seen.

She can’t breathe.

She can barely think.

She’s suddenly and vividly reminded of her plans to seduce Alex.

A small piece of her whispers that maybe if she got a similar cut, seduction wouldn’t be a requirement.The larger smarter part of her knows that it’s not the hair.It’s the way Alex is  _wearing_ the hair.

Holy hell.

“I… you… good with the… I love you yes.”

Alex bites her lip and squints inquisitively.“Was that English?”

“You’re beautiful.”Kara says, surging into Alex with a kiss.“You’re so beautiful Commander.”

She’s got her body pressed almost completely against Alex’s; hands fisted in the rebel’s shirt.Startled, Alex’s only recourse is to throw a hand around Kara’s waist and the other behind her so she can use the door for balance.Still, it allows Kara to feel the full body shudder that goes through Alex at her words.

Bingo.

She hadn’t exactly meant to let that slip but seeing Alex in her element is doing  _things._ And, now that she knows Alex has a thing for being an authority…

“Do you like when I call you that?”Kara mutters against Alex’s lips, her fingers lifting to sift over the bristly hair at the back of Alex’s head.“Commander?”

Alex’s hips jerk and her eyes slide closed; the clenched teeth makes a muscle in her jaw jump and Kara stifles a moan in her throat.

Crap.

She cannot be this turned on from a haircut.

The incident on Nar Shaddaa must have her wound a lot more tightly than she thought.

“It’s my title.”Alex finally admits softly, her own hands gripping Kara’s hips and guiding her even closer.“It’s nice to finally hear the correct one.”

Kara doesn’t even acknowledge the slight tease.

“I can do that Commander.”She says, slightly breathless with how much she’s feeling.Kara may have experience in the bedroom, but she’s never actually felt any real emotional connection to her partners.They had been fleeting passions at best so having Alex hold her like this, clearly want her like this, it’s a little intoxicating.“What else do you want me to do?I’ll do whatever you want.”

Kissing Alex again before she can answer, Kara allows her hands to elaborate on her question.One hand slides down Alex’s chest to the buckle of her belt.There’s a brief thought that Alex’s belt is a bit different than what she’s used to, what with the multiple pouches and gun holsters, but she quickly dismisses it.Alex puts this thing on and takes it off every day.Kara can figure it out.

“What um,” Alex interrupts, grabbing Kara’s hand and stopping her progress.Alarmed Kara almost stumbles back, afraid she’d crossed some invisible line that Alex had drawn. Alex’s hand on her waist stops her from moving too far away but it does nothing to quell her rising panic. Maybe Alex wasn’t ready.Maybe— “What are we doing here honey?What do you mean?”

“Umm,” considering Kara had been the one with her hands on Alex’s pants, she kind of feels like that question is redundant.“I mean that I,” she presses the metal clasp out of place, sliding the belts tongue out and off, “will do whatever,” she leans in, kissing Alex almost desperately, “you,” her teeth pull at Alex’s bottom lip, “want...  _Commander_ .”

“Then can I just take care of you?”Alex asks, holding Kara in place and kissing her softly along her lips, cheek and neck.“Would that be ok?If I wasn’t the Commander?If I was just Alex and you were Kara and I touched you?”

A spark of something jolts through Kara and she falters, fingers fluttering against Alex’s shoulders as she tries to find her composure.

For all the experience she claims to have, all of the men and women who she has casually invited into her bed, no one has ever asked her that before. No one has ever wanted  _her;_ the way she is. In a way, she shouldn’t be surprised. Alex’s whole schtick is taking care of her, protecting her; no frills or games needed.Of course that would extend to sex as well.

She nods unsteadily and tightens her grip on Alex’s shirt when her zhao kisses her again.Alex leads them to the bed, her touch soft and steady as she guides Kara down.

“Tell me if I do something you don’t like ok?”Alex murmurs, her hand firm on Kara’s waist as she slowly pushes up her shirt.“Or if you want me to touch you a certain way.I want you to feel good.”

“Ok.”Kara’s eyes flutter closed as Alex presses kisses to the top of her chest. “Ok.”

When Alex leaves her mouth in favor of her throat, her hand simultaneously cups Kara’s breast and her super advanced alien brain just… dies.

It’s almost a blessing when Alex jerks back, her other hand on the naked skin of Kara’s stomach.

“Your suit!”Alex frowns, chewing her lip and shaking her head.“Honey we can’t—”

Fumbling drunkenly along Alex’s bedside table, Kara grabs her satchel and quickly removes a box the size of her fist.Pressing the small button on top does nothing visible but Kara rolls back onto her back and tries to kiss Alex again.She misses and catches her chin instead, feeling equally silly and completely out of control.

“You can take my clothes off now.”She mumbles through the kiss, pulling Alex completely on top of her.“That will mimic my suit’s inhibitor and we can— _Alex_.”

Her words are cut off by her Rebel’s tongue dipping into her ear.

As much as she had thought Alex’s inexperience would mean her being akin to a fumbling teenager, Alex actually approached sex the same way she did anything else: like an exceptionally attentive student.The problem was she didn’t seem to be very focused on making Kara orgasm so much as she seemed to want to learn every part of Kara’s body that made her jump, or moan, or clench.

Alex’s hands are softer than what Kara’s used to, and her rebel uses firm yet gentle pressure to explore Kara’s skin. There are a few hardened lines along her palms that scratch a little, but the caresses send tingles racing along Kara’s body.Makes the rest of her feel empty and exposed without Alex’s touch. 

Somehow, Kara’s clothes are lost in an unfair ratio of time and she retaliates by practically ripping Alex’s clothes off of her.The second Alex presses her naked body—toned and strong and achingly beautiful—against Kara’s, Kara knows there’s no going back.It would have been a struggle to let Alex go before but now… it was an impossibility.The feel of her lover, her Zhao, her perfect bondmate, laying over her is so perfect that there’s no one on this plane of existence that could ever force her hand.

Alex was her home.

And Kara was irrevocably Alex’s.She’d happily spend the rest of her life by this woman’s side.

Then Alex is kissing her again and Kara’s brain kickstarts, her hands exploring, pressing, squeezing.

It’s almost laughable, the dichotomy of their interaction right now.Where Kara has wholeheartedly lost herself to the storm of emotions and sensations coursing through her, Alex, as ever, is a calm pillar.Her mouth drags from Kara’s neck down to her naked chest, taking testing nips of her flesh.Then her lips meet Kara’s nipple and little explosions of white light go off behind Kara’s clenched eyes.

It's ridiculous.

What Alex is doing isn’t even particularly  _talented._ It’s good to be sure, especially for her first time with a woman, but… Kara hadn’t expected it to be  _this_ good.And it’s exponentially better because it’s  _Alex_ .

Alex sucking on her swollen nipple, flicking the nub with her tongue and groaning when Kara whimpers and curves into her.

Alex biting and sucking her mark into the skin of Kara’s belly, her hips, her thighs.

By the time she made it to Kara’s knees, the blonde was already at her wits end and it’s understandable that she nearly loses herself completely when Alex finally comes back up and takes her first experimental swipe at Kara’s labia. _Rao:_ she’s pretty sure her heart isn’t supposed to be that loud.Was it always that loud?Was she— **_RAO_ ** _!_

Alex licks her again, more firmly, groaning some more and pressing her whole face into Kara’s center.Then she starts licking in earnest and Kara can’t.She needs—

“Inside. _Please_ Alex, I need to feel you.”

Alex nods and presses her face harder into Kara, her tongue lancing out and stabbing at Kara’s opening, her teeth just grazing the underside of Kara’s clit.

Sobbing because it feels  _that_ fantastic but is wholly not what she needs, Kara grabs the hand Alex has wrapped around her thigh and hip to hold her down.

“ _No_ !Please I—Alex.”

“What do you need?”Alex murmurs, face covered in juices as she looks up from between Kara’s legs.“Please baby I don’t… tell me what to do.”

Face flushing, with both desire and embarrassment, Kara takes the hand she’s possessed and slides it around to her slit.She can’t help that her hips arch at that first touch, or that she’s saying Alex’s name like a prayer.Some part of her wants to call Alex ‘Commander’ and see where that gets her, but she’s too focused on her orgasm right now.Her mind too far gone to even think of deviating from this path they’re on.

And it feels even better, to be the one to take one of Alex’s fingers and slowly ease it inside of her body; to watch the awestruck look that melted into something almost achingly reverent.

“Like this,” Kara croaks, hooking her fingers around Alex’s wrist and stroking.“A—against the walls and just… find a good spot.”

“Gods,” Alex mumbles pressing first her face and then her mouth into Kara’s thigh.Alex exhales shakily, her finger stroking experimentally and causing Kara’s mind to go into conniptions, before Alex  _bites_ her and growls and starts moving in earnest.

First with one finger, working up to her second knuckle, and then slowly adding another.And then Alex is searching, gently prodding Kara’s walls.And it admittedly takes her awhile—a wonderful, heated while—but then her fingers stroke  _just_ right and—

“ _Rao_ , I—Rao Alex.Yes!Rao, yes!”

“There?Like that?”

It almost feels like she’s in a drunk stupor when she nods, her head flopping uselessly on her shoulders as she clutches at Alex’s shoulders and arms.She’s trying to be careful, ever mindful that she’s much stronger than her human, but her nails still make Alex hiss.

Whatever spot Alex has found, Kara’s never felt it before, or at least never felt it like  _this,_ but it makes her back bend, a loud keen escaping her.

_Rao_ !

A second later Alex’s mouth covers her slit again and she’s licking her and sucking her nether lips into her mouth and her zhao is pumping, her fingers making an embarrassing sound as they slide in and out of Kara’s body.It’s everything.It’s so good.

“My clit!”Kara sobs, fingers tangling in Alex’s hair and tugging up.“Please Alex I—”

Kara’s world explodes.

She has no idea how long she comes for; Alex doesn’t seem to care that she’s coming, so much as she seems to want to challenge herself in how many times, she can make it happen again.And she doesn’t stop, thankfully—unfortunately—blessedly, until Kara’s begging Alex away, her own hands pushing weakly against Alex’s wrist and forehead.

Shattered is the only word she can think of to describe how she feels and it’s not until Alex is wiping the tears from her face that she realizes she’s crying.

“It’s ok.”Alex whispers, pressing soft kisses against Kara’s cheeks as she pulls her closer.“You’re ok.You’re safe; I’ve got you.I’ve got you.”

She says it over and over until Kara feels herself start to drift off, Alex’s words repeating themselves in her head.

_I’ve got you._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I debated for quite some time over to when to commence the sexy times. I didn't want it to be too early but it just fit *so* well here that I had to have a serious internal debate. What my conclusion was, was this: Neither Kara nor Alex were virgins, Kara's actually had quite a few tumbles in the sack if Winn is to be believed. And Alex, while she's never been with a girl, has never really put too much stock in "timing" when it comes to sex. She has an itch, she scratches it. And Kara knows she loves Alex even if Alex is still being cautious so really there's no reason for them *not* to sleep together. You know, other than Alex's overanalytical brain. So the sexy times happened.
> 
> On that note though, Kara is beginning her own transition in this. With Alex, Eliza is sending her on a path of discovering what's important to her and what she's willing to lose. Kara already knows that. What she doesn't seem to realize is that she's not the be all and end all of the universe. Like, she can sit things out and not have everything blow up. Now, in this instance with Maggie she definitely helped, but there's no saying that Alex and co wouldn't have found a quieter way to extract her without the Winn/Kara dynamic. Think back to every plan Alex has put forward and how Kara has wedged her way in. Always helpful, but not always necessary. It's pissing Lucy off but Alex is practical and in love so she doesn't mind. This will be expanded, no worries.
> 
> Then back to Alex for a second, poor kid is still grieving. There are still moments where I swear I see my brother even though I *know*, ya know? It's been almost a year for me, Alex is doing the best she can. And she's telling her friends that in her current mental state, she doesn't trust in her abilities. It's the strongest thing you can do; assess your own mental health and determine whether you're capable of returning to regular duties. Both Alex and I jumped right back into work, it took us both a hot minute to realize that *that* was the weird behavior. Not the grieving, the non-acknowledgement of our own limitations. Steadily we row along Alex, steadily.
> 
> Winn shot Alex. Haha. Classic.
> 
> On Chyler's hair: I love *Chyler's* hair; for some reason, *Alex's* hair is weird to me. I don't know if it's the angles they shoot it at or their own styling on the SG set but every time I see it I'm reminded on the stereotypical older white lady who asks to see the manager. The "Karen" hairstyle if you will. (Sorry to any Karen's, I'm sure you're great.) Anyway, if you can just imagine Chyler mixed a bit with Keira Knightly from Domino (my original wcw), then you have my Alex's hairstyle. Lucy did her good.
> 
> And don't worry, Alex didn't just forget the last few hours of mental trauma she was going through but intimacy is a strong sense of comfort and she's been wanting Kara for like ever now. Her mindspace, which we'll see more of next chapter, was just of immediate comfort. Kara did her good.
> 
> Ok I think that's it?
> 
> Next chapter I think we get back to the Legion as well so excitement. We're approaching one more tipping point and then the climax and then that's it. Toot toot.
> 
> Let me know what you guys think, really need the comments this week.


	23. Ch 21: I'll Take My Chances

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lucy confronts Kara; Mikhail gets a new normal; And they make progress on the weapon.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I added a note on the end of this because I used an epithet that someone had commented on in another story of mine. You don't have to read it unless you care how my mind works but I felt it needed to be said since I don't plan on stopping. It's tagged so skip it if all you want to read is story stuff.
> 
> Song: The Longest Time- Billy Joel but listen to the Schuyler sister version.
> 
> Stay safe!

The mush in front of him is grey, a custard looking pile of goo that he’s expected to eat without complaint.He does so, fighting back the urge to vomit as he forces the food down his throat.When he’d been on Taris, he’d had no food at all and so he should be grateful.The Legion had provided for him as promised and he knew for a fact that there were many other children out there who had nothing and no one.

At least he has this.

For a while he had Kaznia and Astra; not a family really but they were his.They’d fed him real food and clothed him.Kaznia had trained him and talked to him, played chess when she’d had a few moments to spare.It had been more than he’d received in his whole life and he’d grown complacent.He’d allowed himself to get used to the small luxuries.

Then the Yavin had happened and Kaznia had come back… different.She’d been unable to recognize him—or anyone really.Astra had locked her away and told Mikhail to stay in his room.When she had come back for him it had been to deliver him here: the training facility for future Storm Troopers.

There had been a rushed conversation with the man in charge while Mikhail pretended to care about the rather odd construction of the facility. It was after all just a large sphere with a huge wrap around window, nothing much to look at.Unfortunately his stealth was useless since he couldn’t make out what Astra had said anyway.

Whatever it was had put him here, in the charge of Otis Graves, a rather dimwitted man who had somehow been trusted to train the next generation of Legion soldiers.

Now instead of breakfast with his Master, or training sessions that saw him move things with his _mind,_ Mikhail had this.

This food.

This bland grey uniform.

This monotonous “training” that was based on absolutely no skill whatsoever.

It filled him with rage, rage that he tucked away for later use.

Mikhail was not meant to be a Storm Trooper, he was a Sith!Kaznia had said so.She’d said he would be her hand when he was old enough; that she would trust him to remove anyone who tried to stand in her way.They were going to bring _order_ to the Galaxy.Kill those Jedi with their evil mind tricks!Wipe out the bad guys whose greed and badness had started this all in the first place!

_Their_ new world order would be based on… order.And Kaznia would make sure that all of the good people got fed and they got houses and they didn’t have to worry about anything.And the bad people would die!

Mikhail would kill them!

When he was older.

Kaznia had promised.

But she was gone now, and he felt those dreams of righting what was wrong with the galaxy fading away.

Also… he didn’t have any friends here.

Most of the recruits were way older than he was and refused to sit with him.

The others all thought he was some sort of spy.

Ha!

As if Kaznia would ever be interested in the lives of these losers!

“Hey Little Man.”Otis’ tray lands loudly in front of Mikhail’s, the brutish man sliding noisily onto the bench.“You don’t mind, do you?The rest of this lot is all whiny about being “kidnapped”.”He raises both hands to finger quote the last word, rolling his eyes and lifting the cup on his tray.“Such crybabies.”

“Useless mongrels.”A blue woman says, sitting to Mikhail’s right without asking for permission.His eyes widen when he notices the circuity embedded in her skin.Astra had given him a large book on different alien species and although he’d already known a lot of the common ones, this was his first time actually seeing a Cooluan!“My droids are better shots than they’ll ever be.”

“Hey!”Otis protests, pointing a warning finger at the woman.“I’m the one who trains those mongrels.”

She bares her teeth.“Makes perfect sense then.”

Otis jerks up, _loudly_ moving the whole table, and thus Mikhail and the blue lady, with him as he stumbles trying to free himself.A tall black man in a long leather coat and fingerless gloves, slaps his hand on Otis’ shoulder and somehow forces him back into his seat.He smiles at Mikhail and joins them, waving casually as he lays his own tray in front of him.

“Hey kid; you’re not riling old Otis up now, are you?”

“No sir.”

“Leave him alone Manchester.You wanna pick a fight you do it with Indi-stupid over there.”

The woman (Indi-stupid?) scoffs.“A leader who cannot accept criticism is no real leader.They’re a cake topper.”

“I do not like you.”

“It’s mutual.Trust me.”

Manchester laughs, reaching across the table and offering Mikhail his hand.“Names Manchester; this is Indigo.Who are you?”

Looking cautiously at all the adults now at his table, Mikhail fights not to lower his head.

Confidence, Astra had said, was seventy percent of the battle.

“Mikhail sir.”He forces himself to clasp Manchester’s hand, squeezing firmly.Confident.

“It’s nice to meet you Mikhail.That’s quite a grip.”

“Thank you, sir.”

“It’s polite.”Indigo comments, spearing some sort of fruit onto her fork and offering it to Mikhail.“I like it.”

“He’s not an “it.”He’s a Little man.”Otis protests, glaring daggers at Indigo even as Mikhail takes her offering and eagerly chows down.It’s only now that he notices that all of the Officers at the table have fruit and meat.Not slop.“And stop giving him that stuff.The others will think he’s getting special treatment.”

“He doesn’t care about what the others think do you Mikhail?”Manchester questions, smiling when Mikhail shakes his head.“Attaboy, stick with us kid.We’ll raise you up right.”

~*~

“I was wondering when this would hit you.”Kara startles, hands clenching at her sides.Lucy approaches from behind, coming to stand next to her at the large bay window looking out into space.“Gotta say, I didn’t think it would be after you and Cap did “the do”.”

“Did the what?”

Brows crinkling, Kara brings a hand up to her face.She’d meant to do something with that hand, but she can’t remember what.It drops to her side listlessly.

“The “do”.It’s the polite word for sex.”

“Oh.”

Her chest hurts; she wants Alex.She’d been with her, face buried in the crook of her neck while her zhao slept, but something had started making her heart race.Had made her extricate herself and come here.

She doesn’t know what that is.

“A lot of people died on Yavin.Cap gives a good speech but even she can’t change what happened there right?”

“I don’t…”She’s not sure what to say or what that has to do with _anything_.Her head is a mess.Why did she leave bed?“I don’t understand what you’re saying.”

Lucy sighs, walking away to perch on a nearby crate.She pulls one leg up and hugs her knee to her chest before resuming her silent sentry of the dark sky beyond.

It’s not completely dark though, Kara knows a lot of people think space is boring and ugly with only inky blackness to keep you company but… there are swarms of color when you know where to look.

“Alex and I were pretty young when we engaged our first battle under her command.She outranks me obviously, but I was her second.We got slaughtered, did almost everything wrong even though we outnumbered them.Lost maybe a third of our troops before Alex sounded the retreat.My dad—General Lane… he ordered us back onto the field.They decimated us, took another half of the company.There were a handful of survivors.”

The words are stated matter of fact, no emotions coming through to display what she was feeling on the inside.Kara thinks that means it’s still really bad.She feels really bad.

She’d known Lucy’s father was a jerk but this… 

“I’m sorry.”

Shrugging, Lucy turns that sharp gaze back to Kara.

“It worked out in the end.We ditched the corps, formed our own team, chose our missions.Most importantly, we got the hell away from my dad.”Lucy shrugs again but her shoulders are tense, fingers clenched so hard that they’re turning white.“It took us a long time to be ok after that.Alex especially.She still blames herself; we both do.”

“You did the best you could.You were… it was your first fight.That’s not—”

“And how many battles had you fought?Before Yavin?”Lucy interrupts.The brunette tilts her head when Kara’s mouth clicks shut.“Before you were even born some assholes had planned out your whole life.Your sister was stolen from you and brainwashed and she was all the family you’d known.That had to suck.”

“Kas made her choice.”

“Did she?”

“What are you doing Lucy?”Kara huffs, eyes stinging.Turning back to the window is a habit born of anticipating her powers.She’s at human levels right now but the reflex to her heat vision is still active.

“I’m telling you that it’s ok that you hate the world and it’s even ok if you hate your sister a little bit.It’s not ok for you to hate yourself.”

“I don’t—”

“Then why are you out here?Why did you leave Alex alone in bed?”

She doesn’t _know._

“Why,” Lucy continues, an edge entering her voice and refocusing Kara’s attention.“Did you think it **prudent** to disobey direct orders on a covert op?”

“What?”

“Alex loves you.And she’s not in the best place mentally so she’s not going to say anything, but I don’t have the same problem.Ever since we brought you on, you’ve had a problem with a little something called teamwork.”

Anger flares through her fast and quick, spreading through her limbs and making her heart race.Whatever she’d been feeling before vanishes.Lucy may not know it, but she’s just given Kara an outlet.

“ **That** is not true.”

“Oh yeah?When we were on Fodu you didn’t tell us you were a Force user.You let Alex go up to armed Guards whose entire purpose was to keep people like you out.You put her life at risk.And then in the cave—”

“I didn’t know who you were!In case you haven’t noticed we’re at war; advertising what I am isn’t the best survival tactic.”

“And then,” Lucy presses, as if Kara hadn’t even spoken, “when we went to Dragas you didn’t tell us that you were being _hunted_ by the Assholes of the Galaxy.”

“I didn’t know they would be there!”

“You didn’t tell us about your aunt or your sister.”Kara turns away, fists clenching at her sides as Lucy hurls her accusations.“And now, when Alex is clearly vulnerable and mind-fucked, you decide to pull a stunt like today.”

“She would have died.”Kara grits, forcing her eyes to remain open so she doesn’t see an image of Alex with her brains on the pavement.“If Winn and I hadn’t interfered she would have died.”

“Winn shot her.”

Whirling, Kara is only marginally surprised to see Lucy so relaxed now.To see that most of the fire that had been dancing in her eyes is tame now.As if all she’d wanted was to put Kara in her place; hurt her with her veiled accusations of incompetence.

“What do you _want_ Lucy?”

“What happened today, it’s not going to happen again.Cap put me in charge which means you answer to me now.And I’ll be damned if I see you send her to an early grave.”

And great.Now she’s crying.

Choking back a sob, it’s all she can do to continue talking.To make sure Lucy knows that that should _never_ be a concern.“I would _never_ do that.I love her.I—”

“You think that you’re the only person who can save the galaxy.”Lucy interrupts, sharp eyes tracking Kara’s every move as she begins to pace.“I get it.Diana’s a bit of a hardass.I can’t even imagine what her mentor was like; what it must have been to have a prophecy over your head and lose everyone who mattered. You must feel alone.”

Strength was always something Kara thought she’d had in spades.As a Kryptonian, she’d outmanned almost every species she encountered.She’d never had to worry about physically besting an opponent, never really worried that her body would let her down.Other than a Red Sun, she was aware of very little that could bring her down.

Lucy’s words bring her to her knees.They have her weeping into her hands in seconds unable to think of anything else.

Alone.

Kara had been alone for _so_ long.

The sensation of falling has her jerking, but it’s just Lucy scooting in next to her and tugging Kara into her side.Her face says _don’t make this a big deal,_ so Kara doesn’t.Tries not to.

“It’s a tough hand.”Lucy concedes when Kara has calmed down, her arm thrown over Kara’s shoulder.“I think that because you’ve decided you’re gonna go out in a blaze of glory that you shouldn’t take life too seriously.Which is fine; except it’s made you believe that you don’t deserve good things.Because temporary is safe and doesn’t have consequences. But what Alex is offering isn’t temporary.It’s real and it’s quite possibly forever.And it probably makes you feel better than you think you deserve to feel.How could someone whose entire life purpose is to die, deserve something that pure?”

“Stop.”

Lucy huffs.“I’m gonna say this completely unnecessary thing because I feel like your people are really failing you right now: Yavin was not your fault.None of the bad things that have happened are your fault.Not the war.Not Kassandra.Not—"

“I said stop it!”Kara hisses, hands clenched once again.There’s a lump in her throat and she desperately tries to swallow it down.Tries to make herself feel normal again.She wants Alex.Rao… why was this happening?She palms her face again, helplessness consuming her as literally everything catches up to her.

“Kassandra was a child Kara.What happened to her—to both of you—that was the Sith. _And_ the Jedi.You were children and they should have protected you.It wasn’t either of your faults.”

“She’s killing people.”Kara sobs, “she’s—I’m supposed to stop her.The prophecy says—”

“Fuck the prophecy!Real or not, your decisions should not be determined by an old woman who heard the force a few decades ago.”

“Then what am I supposed to do?”She questions miserably, staring down at her hands.She can still feel Alex’s touch, phantom and lasting.She’s never felt such devotion before, and she never wants it to end.She’s fairly certain she’ll choke on it if she goes back.“Alex isn’t… she’s _good_ Lucy. And she’s so strong.She wouldn’t—” she chokes on the word, unwilling to even speak Alex’s death into existence. “Those people… they’d all be alive if she were the one with the special abilities.”

“That grumpy oaf?Are you kidding?She’d have just gotten herself killed faster.”

“That’s—”

“True.She already thinks she’s expendable, do you really think she’d fare much better with a self-important prophecy on her head?She’s just as much of an asshole as you are.”Lucy releases her, sitting now with her arms resting on bent knees.Kara mimics her position.“Alex is a great Captain and a better ally but she’s not faultless.Her decisions come from years of tactical training and field experience.She has more blood on her hands than you do. _I_ have more blood on my hands than you do.”

Kara drops her head back into her hands, her skull is pounding loudly but at least she’s not crying any more.

“I don’t know what to do.I…I love her but I’m… I feel like—I don’t want to hurt her.”

“Then don’t.”

“I always do.”Kara cries hopelessly.“I let her down every time.On Yavin and… and now on Nar Shaddaa.And if I see Kas again I won’t… I’ve been trying but I can’t _kill_ her.I can’t—”

“When did Alex ask you to do that?”

“Lucy—”

“She didn’t.And she wouldn’t.Because that’s your sister and that’s just fucked.I wouldn’t be able to kill Alex.”Lucy says, shrugging when Kara looks over at her, “if she turned to the dark side.Or even Maggie.I would be sad as hell, but I wouldn’t go after them to kill them.I’d probably try to turn them back to the light but… I’d never be able to kill them.”

“…you realize you just compared Alex and Maggie to my sister.You called them your sisters.”

“And,” Lucy says, gently shoving a warning finger in Kara’s face.“If you ever tell them that I’ll deny it ever happened.”

Kara smiles, catching the finger and tentatively squeezing Lucy’s hand. Lucy allows it for all of 5 seconds.

“I was ready to die.”Kara admits, an embarrassed flush entering her cheeks.Somehow, she can’t quite bring herself to meet Lucy’s eyes.“If it meant taking down Kassandra and destroying the Sith’s weapon… I was ready to die.I don’t—Lucy I don’t _want_ to anymore.”

“No one wants to.That honorable death thing is just bullshit they put in children’s stories.It’s fucked.”

“And where does that leave us?The galaxy?If I hesitate when I should act?”

“You’re not hesitating, you’re _thinking._ You need to start thinking Kara.”Lucy sighs.“And listening because if you ever pull any shit like that again, I’ll have you court martialed and jettisoned into a Sarlac pit.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Yeah.You follow orders from now on.Cap and I have gotten this far because we _listen._ The time for adjustments is in the planning stage.Not the implementation.”

“Ok.”

“I’m serious.”Lucy nudges her, waiting for Kara to look back before continuing.“You have valuable insight Kara.You _did_ help on Nar Shaddaa and Alex should have had a backup plan.Benching you was stupid.But you running in there without telling _anybody?_ Just as stupid.”

Lucy moves to flick her and Kara jerks back, grinning when Lucy scowls at her.“Still slightly impervious.Didn’t wanna break your finger… Captain.”

“ _I_ am a Major.Alex is the Captain.It’s only funny when you demote her.”

“Ok.”

“Stop saying ok.”

“Sorry.”

Lucy wags a finger at her.“Stop saying “sorry” too.You use that word too much and it’s starting to lose its meaning.”She chuffs Kara under the chin.Gently. “And we’ll figure out the sister thing; you can stop hating yourself for something you haven’t even done yet.”Another finger wag.“No killing for you.”

The tightness in her chest eases, allowing her to breathe again even though nothings really been solved.

“Thank you.”

“You’re welcome.”They sit like that for a while before Lucy sniffs the air tentatively.“Kara?”

“Yeah?”

“Why does your hair smell like… a flower?”

“Cat makes her own hair products.”

“Of course she does.”

“She’ll share if you ask.”

“Hmmm.”

“It’s up to you. I’m… I’m going to try listening for a while.”

Chuckling, Lucy nods her assent.“Good.Now get back to bed before Cap realizes you’ve left and thinks she’s done something wrong.”

~*~

Alex awakes to the feeling of a finger softly stroking along her back, neck, and shoulders.She groans, her body feeling mildly tingly and extremely relaxed.

The events from last night play in her mind like a movie and she can’t help the satisfied smirk that comes to her mouth.Admittedly, she had been a little nervous for what would be her and Kara’s first time together, and Alex’s first time with a woman.It hadn’t been difficult at all.Alex may not have had any idea what she was doing, but slowly working her way down Kara’s body to figure out what made her feel good had been one of her best ideas.

Before, with her previous partners, Alex had always felt… uncomfortable.Uncertain.She’d never quite known where to touch or what was allowed or “proper” and so had mostly allowed herself to chase after her own pleasure.There hadn’t been any hard feelings as ninety percent of the time, her partner was doing the exact same thing but… well last night had been different.

It was like someone had opened up a candy store and told her she could take whatever she wanted.

She’d been able to touch Kara without fear that Kara wouldn’t want her to or that she would shove Alex away.Feeling an actual breast in her mouth had been a revelation and Kara’s _ass_ … Alex really, really liked Kara’s ass.Her entire body actually.She wasn’t all hard muscle and straining veins like what Alex was used to; some of her was soft, some parts hard.Her belly, small though it was, was absolutely adorable.When they got back to a yellow sun planet it would probably disappear as quickly as it had come but Kara had been stress eating these passed few days and it had apparently caught up to her.

Alex loved it.

Loved how she’d felt; how Kara had _sounded_ ; how hearing Kara and touching Kara had made _her_ feel.

She’d never known a high like the one that came from making Kara come.

And after, when Kara had rebounded from her post-coital bliss, she’d turned the tables on Alex and shown her what experience gained you. And then well Alex had wanted to try some of that out on Kara and then Kara had—they’d been up for a while.Kryptonian stamina was amazing.

_Kara_ was amazing.

It seemed lately, that no matter how deep Alex got in her own head, how much Eliza’s ghost hung over her, all it would take was one touch from Kara and it would all be ok.Last night she’d been exhausted.Mentally, emotionally… all the way to her soul.The second Kara had kissed her, it had been like a balm on her wounds.

Alex may not have meant for last night to happen, but it had helped.

A lot.

Losing her command seemed a lot loss dire with Kara by her side.

“Good morning.”Kara whispers, placing delicate kisses on Alex’s shoulder.“Did you sleep ok?Do these hurt?”

Grunting, Alex peeks one eyes open to see what Kara’s talking about.She huffs when she sees the red lines caused by Kara’s nails, small little half-moon dents interspersed among them. _That_ had been the highlight of the night.The way Kara had pulled her in, closer and tighter, and the needy whimpers Kara had released.For _her._ For _Alex._

“I’m fine.Stop coddling me.”She wraps her arm tighter around Kara’s waist, pulling the blonde closer and burying her face in her hair.The faintest hint of vanilla hits her.Apparently, Kara had stopped at a stall when they’d been on Nar Shaddaa.The sneak.

“No.”Kara ducks up and busses a kiss to Alex’s lips.“Never.”

Alex giggles, honest to god _giggles,_ happiness infusing her being to her very core.“Minx.Leave me alone.”

“ _You’re_ the one holding _me_ like a favorite teddy.”

“Cause you’re comfortable.”

“Liar.It’s because you like me.Admit it Commander.”

Alex is at least awake enough to fight the shiver that comes whenever Kara uses her title with that _particular_ tone of voice.Still, when she opens her eyes, blinking away sleep and looking upon Kara’s gorgeous face, she can’t help but notice the look of _knowing_ that Kara is giving her.

“I will never cede.”Kara’s yelp is swallowed by Alex’s kiss, the latter now straddling her girlfriend and pinning her hands over her head.“Have you eaten yet?”

“No.”Kara breathes, lifting her head for another kiss.And another.“I was waiting for you.”

“So kind…”Nipping Kara’s neck one last time, Alex stands casually, easily beginning to slip on her clothes.For some reason Kara is already dressed but Alex doesn’t comment on it.Her focus is completely on not laughing at the rather insulted look on Kara’s face.“Come on then, let’s feed that bottomless pit before it finds a reason to be angry with me.”

She barely dodges the pillow, laughing some more as she has to hop around with one leg in her pants to avoid the projectiles until Kara finally tackles her back to the bed.

“Oh, I’m not done with you yet.”Kara sasses, nibbling along Alex’s neck up to her ear.“Breakfast can wait until you tell me why Lucy is replacing you.”

Way too relaxed to see the trap, Alex simply reaches up to card her fingers through Kara’s hair.“Not replacing.Temporary promotion.”

“Why?”

Alex moans: can’t stop the surge of arousal that floods through her when Kara whispers that directly into her ear and then sucks the lobe between her lips.“I umm… she… I just can’t?”

“Can’t lead us?”Kara asks, switching her attentions to the other side of Alex’s neck.

“Yeah.Keep getting distracted.”

“By what?”

This time there’s no kiss to further cloud Alex’s head; this time Kara leans back and allows Alex to see the concern on her face.Furrowed brows causing a distinct crinkle in Kara’s forehead and cluing Alex in to how serious this conversation actually is.

“Um…”Restarting her brain is a little difficult.

“Is it me?Is it because I haven’t been listening because I talked to Lucy and I promise I—”

“Wait hold on.”Alex lifts a hand and sits up.“You spoke to Lucy about this?”

Kara’s eyes widen and she looks even more distressed which makes Alex even more confused.“Please don’t be mad.I—I just wanted to take a walk and then we bumped into each other.”

“I’m not mad.”

“I don’t want to hurt you.”

Alex bites her lip, reaching out to take the fingers Kara’s mangling into her own lap.“How about we start over ok?”Kara nods and Alex continues.“I thought I saw my mom yesterday.That’s what botched the mission.Not you.Ok?”

“But—”

“You were unexpected, but you _were_ helpful Kara.It was my fault for not having a backup plan.And the _reason_ I didn’t have a plan is the same reason I had to step back and let Lucy take over.”Some of the anxiety from yesterday returns and Alex feels her heart rate increase, feels her throat tighten.It’s not nearly as bad as it was though.Not with Kara by her side.Taking a deep breath, Alex admits her truth.“I haven’t been ok.I kept telling myself that I had to be because… well we’re at _war_ and we’re _so_ close but that’s not how this works.It’s not how grief works. _Apparently,_ you have to go through the process.”

She moves to shrug but realizes that would be negating everything she just said.It just feels awkward, allowing herself to remain in this headspace.She knows logically that it’s not a weakness but… she still feels incredibly vulnerable.

Kara’s fingers squeeze around hers and when Alex looks up Kara lifts their joined hands to her lips, kisses Alex’s knuckles.

“Can I _please_ hold you?”Kara asks, scooting closer and pressing sweet kisses to Alex’s cheeks.“I swear I’ll never tell anyone, and it doesn’t have to be for long.Just until you’re feeling ok again.”

The awkwardness increases tenfold, but Alex ignores it and nods anyway.She’s always going to feel awkward about stuff like this, but the fact of the matter is… she really wants this.She feels like she’s falling apart sometimes.Like a stuffed animal whose threads have come lose and is losing stuffing by the minute.

When Kara wraps around her, pulling Alex’s head against her chest and sliding back so they’re both comfortably on the mattress, Alex feels herself tense.Forces herself to relax.Eventually Alex winds up with her legs tucked to her chest crying softly and having her hair pet like a child.Kara only holds her tighter, whispering soothing nothings into the quiet until gradually all of Alex’s awkward disappears and she just lets herself be held.

It kind of feels like she’s saying goodbye.

It’s another thing that hurts just a little less with Kara present.

~*~

“I am a genius!”Winn exclaims, grabbing Alex’s shoulders from behind and jumping up and down.

Calmly, Alex sets her fork down on her plate and looks up at Kara whose eyes widen.

“Woah, hey, hey, hey Winn.Why don’t we cool it with the touching?”Kara asks, motioning Winn over to her with wide manic gestures.

Alex smirks down at her eggs.It’s closer to lunch time than it is breakfast, but Kara had made it so Alex will eat it.Besides, her girlfriend is a pretty good cook.

“Kara, I just finished plugging the rebuilt hard drive into my rebuilt the computer and guess what?”

“It’s working?”

“Working?!Dude, it’s almost _done._ ”

Now Alex is interested.

“What do you mean it’s almost done?”Sharing an excited look with Alex, Kara lays a hand on Winn’s shoulder.“Winn!”

“In approximately,” Winn quickly looks at James who Alex now notices, is leaning against the door frame with crossed arms.“how long babe?”

“12 hours.”

“In 12 friggin hours Kara, we will know the location of the—eep!”

“Are you sure?”Lucy asks, descending on the table with lightning speed and making Winn jump five feet in the air in shock.“The weapon?!We’ll know where it is?!”

Winn presses a hand to his chest, backing up against Kara in fear.“Yes but… well you should know it will take some time to figure out how to destroy it—”

“Blueprints are being loaded separately,” James interrupts gently, pushing off from the door and joining the small group.“We can start analyzing those in about an hour or two.Hopefully come up with a game plan.”

There’s something to his tone of voice—the way he’s moving, that sets Alex on edge.She’ll be honest in saying she hasn’t really spent a lot of time getting to know Kara’s friend, but he had always seemed a decent sort.

Intelligent and strong when he needed to be.

And both Kara and Winn listened to his counsel, which was something they definitely didn’t do for Alex.He had her respect if nothing else.

The way he’s looking at Lucy right now, in front of Winn, is quickly making him lose it.

“—and Alex can start figuring out weak spots, right?”

“Sorry?”She says, moving her attention from James to Kara.The blonde rubs a thumb over Alex’s knuckles, an amused smile on her face.“Sorry, I got distracted.What were you saying?”

“That you and I can go over the blueprints while Lucy and James start on the ship?The Ebon Hawk still needs repairs and, while the major ones need to be done on land, we can get a jump on the smaller stuff right now.”

“I’ll do the repairs.”Alex rebuts, “Lucy can look at the blueprints.”

“I don’t think so Cap.Your brain’s bigger than mine; you look at the blueprints with your nerdy girlfriend and let me know what you find.I’ll make a decision from there.”

The look she’s getting from the room’s other occupants makes Alex shift in her seat, but Kara squeezes her hand and gives her a soft smile.

“We’ll clean up in here while the blueprints load?”Kara offers, “regroup once the repairs are done?”

“Good plan.”Lucy rubs her palms together, nodding along to Kara’s words with an odd glint in her eyes.This was probably the moment she went crazy.“I’ll start on the sensor arrays, they got damaged in the kessel run.”

“The power cells are right next to that; I can join you.”James smiles kindly, leaning down onto the bar top and folding his hands.“If you need anything to be moved, just let me know.I’m happy to help.”

“Nah I’m good.”Lucy calls out, already hurrying from the room.Having lived with Lucy for the better part of her life, Alex can attest to the current energy coursing through her friend.No matter how much James flirts, Lucy isn’t even going to notice him right now.

She’s much too focused on finally taking down the Legion.

“I guess that leaves us to wait on the blueprints.”Kara says, pulling Alex’s attention again. “After we finish cleaning, we can go over our fighting strategy with Diana if they’re not done.And we’ll probably need to drop Cat off somewhere.Not Tattooine though;” she pleads, squeezing Alex’s hand, “she’ll honestly kill me if I leave her there.”

Chuckling Alex nods her acceptance.

Whatever had just happened, she seems to be the only one who had picked up on it which means that it either didn’t exist, or that Winn and Kara were used to it.

Or that they were oblivious.They were kind of… spacy at times.

Regardless, Alex wouldn’t bring it up in public if it was nothing.She’d bring her concerns to Kara in private and let her take the lead.But if James even _thought_ of going after Lucy while he was still with Winn, she was going to cut his balls off.

~*~

“Ok,” Kara starts as soon as the others have cleared the room and left she and Alex alone with the dishes.“What gives?You’ve got grumpy face.”

“My face,” Alex says, collecting plates and heading towards the sink, “is perpetually grumpy.”

“Rao, I can’t believe that I ever found you unfunny.”

“A mistake I’m sure you’ll never make again.”

Unable to resist the almost nonexistent smirk on Alex’s mouth, Kara leans in and kisses her.She’s allowed to now and she doesn’t think she ever wants to stop.Even with the stupid voices in her head telling her that Alex is far and beyond anything she deserves.

“Stop,” Alex mumbles, though she herself leans _further_ into the kiss.“You’re distracting me.”

“ _You’re_ distracting me.How can I truly appreciate your beauty when you have grumpy face?”

“It’s a learned skill.”

Kara reaches out to pinch her and Alex darts out of the way, a full-blown smile splitting her face in two.God she’s beautiful, and Kara is so damn lucky she can barely breathe.Maybe Lucy was right, and they could find a way out of this.Maybe she could still be a person worthy of a zhao and all of Rao’s blessings.Maybe they could get a happy ending.

It’s several minutes of intense kissing and groping later where Kara is finally able to ask again.Alex hadn’t been avoiding the question; Kara had seen her do that before and she knows it’s much different.But she also knows that Alex _does_ have a question.Given her human’s awkwardness, Kara’s bet is that she just doesn’t know how to ask.

“Hey,” she pants, forehead pressed against Alex’s shoulder while they take a break.“You know you can talk to me about anything right?I won’t get angry.Not unless you don’t listen to me.”

Alex snorts, bussing a kiss to the top of Kara’s head.“How long have James and Winn been together?”

Odd question but ok.

“Almost six years.”

“And did you know James before that?”

“No,” Kara shakes her head.“He was Clark’s best friend, but I’d never met him until then because well… it’s really hard with Clark’s schedule and all.”

“Of course.”

Kara pokes her ribs, successful this time but not at all happy when Alex simply grunts.“Don’t do that.He’s—he tries.”

“You deserve better.”Alex argues, tightening her arms and making Kara’s legs a little weak.“He’s an ass if he can’t see that.”

“James used to be a Rebel you know?” Kara says, wanting desperately to stop talking about her cousin.“He was like pretty high up but then he met Winn and wanted to travel with us instead.He still helps out now and again, but he gave up his station for Winn.”

“That’s dumb.”

“That’s _romantic_.”

Alex huffs.

Pushing away, Kara glares at her, making sure her lower lips juts out just enough and her eyes are just that side of big.

“Are you seriously saying that you wouldn’t leave the rebellion if it meant that we could be happy somewhere together?”

“Ok one: he and Winn are not “happy” somewhere together, they’re in the exact same position that they would have been if James had kept his command.And two,” Alex sighs, scratching at her temple in irritation and glowering at the floor.“No I wouldn’t because… I made a promise that I would protect the next kid from having to be drafted into a war.As happy as you make me, I couldn’t go back on that promise.Or abandon my friends.”

As passionate as her words were, Alex looks so guilty over them that Kara’s heart _aches._ Rao, was she lucky.

Stepping back into Alex’s arms, she gently lifts her rebel’s face, cradling her cheeks between her palms.

“And that Commander, is why you are perfect for me.”

Alex huffs again, blushing to the tips of her ears but remaining where she was.Kara grins, a few weeks ago, she would have pulled away in discomfort.Now she’s staying.She’s here. _I love you,_ Kara thinks, heart pounding violently against her ribcage. _I love you; I love you; I love you._

“But you still need to accept that it’s romantic,” Kara argues, dropping her hands and pushing passed Alex’s insulted form.“I swooned for _weeks_ after Winn told me James wanted to stay with us.”

She tosses the dish towel at Alex, grabbing the sponge for herself and beginning to clean.They hadn’t had to do this before—wash dishes manually.Before they’d had a working ship where they didn’t need to divert power from things like dish washers and hair dryers.

Now everything was on a “need to run” basis and Alex was a strict Captain.Kara snickers at her own joke and hands Alex the first cleaned plate.

“I have a concern,” Alex starts slowly, accepting the plate and beginning to wipe the excess water away.“I’m fairly certain that James was… flirting with Lucy.However,” she continues, talking faster even as Kara opens her mouth to interject, “I am also well aware that I have almost no experience in that sort of thing.I just want it to be known that if he hurts Lucy or Winn, I’ll cut off his dick.”

Kara’s mouth clicks shut and she’s unashamed to admit that her eyes may have gotten a little glassy.

After a few moments of her not responding or passing another plate, Alex looks over at her and sees this.

“What?”She asks, brows furrowing in concern.“Shit did I say something wr—”

“You said “or Winn”.My best friend is your best friend.”

“I didn’t say—ok.”Alex nods against Kara’s shoulder.“And we’re hugging now.”

Kara squeezes her tighter and kisses Alex repeatedly in gratitude.As off base as her zhao may be in her claims, she’s still heartened to see that Alex has come to care for Winn.Even if she still sometimes treated him like an annoying younger sibling.

“James can be a little… insensitive at times but he truly cares about Winn.He’s definitely not looking to hurt either of them, I promise.”

Alex hums and gestures for her to return to cleaning.Kara acquiesces with a last kiss and a smile.

“For his sake I hope so.”Alex says, “because I know that if he does it will inevitably hurt _you._ And if he hurts you then _I promise_ to murder him.Slowly.”

Kara grins and shakes her head.What an adorably overprotective weirdo.

“Yes dear.”

~*~

The next few hours are spent working on the Hawk and strategy.Winn’s blueprints take an additional three hours to complete, so Alex instead partners with Cat, Diana, M’gann and Kara on Sith take down methods.

Maggie has been relegated to lookout.Probably because Lucy still feels weird ordering the others to do it.Alex is hoping she gets over that soon.

“On Yavin, you disrupted my Aunt Astra’s lightsaber.How?”Kara’s hand rubs her neck, puzzled eyes staring down at Alex’s mockup of the enemy combatants’ rankings.

“That was a special type of metal.Cortosis; it can withstand lightsaber attacks and short them out for a while.It would be a temporary solution against your kind though.”

Remembering how her blade had done absolutely zero damage to Astra, Alex can’t help but wonder how they would actually beat the Sith if Kara’s family found them again.

Kara was clearly an extremely powerful force wielder, but if the rule of logic was followed, that meant that Kassandra wasn’t a slouch either.And Astra had been able to hold her own against Diana, who had handed Alex her ass…

It would mean that both Kara and Diana would be occupied taking on those two for the duration of the battle.And the emotional ties between Kara and her family made Alex want to avoid that possibility for as long as possible.

“The red sun grenades you produced,” Diana prompts, “how many could you create?”

“Maybe a dozen?”

“You’d need to divvy that up amongst the team.”Cat is sitting on the wide bench, her fingers tapping out a random rhythm on the table.“If you’re going to split up, each group will need at least two of those.In case they run into a Kryptonian.No piece of that plan could fail.”

Alex grunts.As much as she doesn’t like having that little ammunition, it’s not something that can be helped.

Seemingly having a similar thought, Kara sighs and gently lays a hand on Alex’s shoulder.“We could wait.For you to make more of the red sun grenades.I’ll help and we can wait until we’re more prepared.”

Alex is already shaking her head.“As much as I would like to wait, the Sith won’t.They probably haven’t been able to move the weapon because of its size, and that’s us _hoping_ it’s still in that location.If it is, that means that they had months to speed up production.Either way, we’re already walking into an untenable situation.I’d prefer to walk back out with as many of our people as possible and a victory if I can.”

“I agree.We can’t delay. _You_ can’t delay Kara.This is your destiny.”Diana has that whole intense Jedi thing going on, so Alex doesn’t interrupt her, but she still reaches out to hold Kara’s hand.

“We’re all in this together.Destiny or not, prophecy or not, we work as a team and we survive as a team.No one is expecting anything extraordinary here ok?”

“The prophecy was spoken through the Force by my master.Her entire sight was recorded by _me;_ maybe you do not want to believe it because of your own carnal desires but what was spoken _shall_ come to pass.”

Leaning back against the wall, the only outward sign Alex is willing to display of her displeasure is the tightening of her crossed arms.Other than that, she simply shrugs, staring sightlessly at the small Sith droid illuminated on the holodeck.

“Kara can make her own decisions.”Cat says, slightly bored.As if she’s had this conversation a million times before.“If she wants to defy the prophecy—”

“Defying the prophecy means that Kassandra continues to be a pawn of the Sith.It means their continued survival.”

_It means,_ Alex thinks angrily, fingers clenching harder in the fabric of her jacket. _That Kara doesn’t have to kill her sister.That Kara doesn’t have to kill **anyone**._

“And it’s Kara’s choice Diana.We’ve spoken about this at length and quite frankly I’m beginning to worry you suffer from memory loss or just plain foolery.”

Diana scowls at the older blonde and Kara quickly steps between the two of them.

“Ok,” the Kryptonian commands, hands held up placatingly, “let’s just all cool down.I know what I have to do and that hasn’t changed.Kas made her decision and I’m not to blame for it; she set this in motion.”

“Exactly.”Diana agrees.“We will begin sparring once you have isolated the device’s weakness.You’ll need all the practice you can get if this is to be successful.”

Kara nods her agreement and Alex feels her anger grow.

For all of her talk about hating the Jedi, Kara sure has grown quite attached to this one.Diana is no doubt a soldier of the Light, but she is also a monumental asshole.The only methods she approves of are her own.Kara clearly does not want to do this; there’s no way she’ll be successful with that mindset and, if Diana pushes her into it, she’ll get her killed.

There’s no way Alex is going to let that happen.Even if she has to knock Kara out herself, she’s not going to let her face Kassandra with death in mind.

She taps a few commands into her watch, thankful when she sees that the weapon’s blueprints are ready.With a few more clicks they project themselves onto the holodeck.Their current conversation is going to get them nowhere, and honestly, Alex has already figured out most of the plan anyway.

Diana’s input is unnecessary outside of her knowledge of the Sith elite.

Alex and Lucy will finalize everything later; she’s positive Lucy will side with her and make sure Kara and Kassandra do _not_ cross paths.

“This is the weapon.”She says, watching as it slowly materializes before them, a small globe comprised of blue light.As the image builds itself, Alex’s frown deepens; there’s something off about the design already.A strip that seems to be a window of some sort.“True size would be approximately 40 times magnification.”

“That’s the size of a planet!”Kara exclaims, leaning closer to the image.“Dox, can you run a scan for abnormalities?Any design flaws?Where will this thing fire it’s ammunition from?”

_“It will not.”_ Dox replies from the ship’s speakers.He’d taken it upon himself to install himself into the Ebon Hawk’s mainframe while his body grew.“ _The intention of this weapon is not to fire ammunition.”_

Alex is already tilting her head, her eyes focusing on the rather large fault that wraps around the middle of the sphere.There’s a purpose to that.The way it completely encompasses the weapon, makes Alex believe that it _is_ the weapon and not just some viewing stage from which the Sith will watch their destruction.

“Then what _is_ the intention?”

Maybe…

_“From the preliminary report it seems to be a high voltage detonation system.A sort of bomb if you will.However, I cannot confirm this since the energy core does not meet the required specifications for such a weapon.It seems to have a biological element to it that I have never seen before.”_

“The Sith built a bomb?That would only take out like, one planet…”Kara shakes her head, exchanging confused glances with her guardians.“What would be the point of that?”

Diana answers but Alex doesn’t hear her.

Something niggles at her brain; her father twisting a metal sphere in his hand.Normally she would force such memories away but right now… she needs them.

“M’gann?When you and my father came for me, he had a device.It gave off a red light and—”

“A bissa fusion grenade.”The Martian allows.“Yes?”

The rest of the group quiets, eyes watching Alex as she maneuvers the image this way and that.There’s something… something…

“It had a ring around it.All the way around it.”

“It stored the fusion reaction.When it was opened, the beams were able to…”

“Come out of the sides.”

“So, they built a fusion bomb?”Kara questions dubiously.“That seems anticlimactic.”

“Not a fusion bomb.”Alex denies, blinking disbelievingly at the source reactor on the layout.They were _insane._

Although she sighs in relief, Diana still sends an unimpressed glower at Alex.“Your entire speech was just about a fusion bomb.Why bring it up if that is not what the device is?”

“That’s just how she speaks.”Kara defends, squeezing Alex’s bicep encouragingly.“Don’t yell at her!”

“I am not yelling, I am—”

“It’s not a bomb.”Alex interrupts, hands landing hollowly on the deck in front of her.Shit.“Bombs explode; they’re a one and done.But this is… this is _constant._ A wave of energy that never stops.If I’m right, the center of this device will contain a reactor, and this fault will amplify whatever reaction it emits out into the entire galaxy.”Alex points, turning the image so that the others can see what she sees.

Kara nibbles her lip, leaning closer to Alex for a better view.“So, they’ll… fry us all?”

“No.Maybe.I…It would be…”Alex grimaces, trying to think of a way to explain this.“I need to study it more, but it wouldn’t just be surface level.This thing would _wipe out_ planets.All of them.Indiscriminately.Or,” Alex admits, scratching her cheek in befuddlement.“It has the potential to.”

“That’s—” Diana stops herself clearly unable to come up with a word to describe how horrendous this weapon is.

Alex doesn’t blame her.

“Whatever that core is, bomb or not, this isn’t just about taking out one planet.The Sith are planning to wipe out the galaxy all at once.”

Shit.

~*~

“I don’t want you to go.”Alex admits almost as soon as the door to their bunk has closed.

Kara’s shoulders hunch before eventually relaxing, her hand pressing against the sealed door briefly before she turns to face Alex.

“I don’t want you to go either.I don’t want you anywhere near this.”

Alex nods in understanding and doesn’t fight her when Kara rests her hands on the back of her neck.Alex’s own are crossed tight against her chest, but she can’t quite concentrate enough to drop them.The touch distracts her, makes her lose her words.

Alex has never had a hard time saying words; she’s just never really found good reasons speak.After Eliza… she’s learning she needs to lower her standards a little bit.

“When I signed on to the Rebellion… winning this war… it was all I cared about.And that was good because it helped me focus.I couldn’t mess up if I didn’t care about anything else.I know we never talked about it but… I’d considered leaving Jamie and Kate on Taris.”

Kara’s eyes widen, her head already moving in denial, but Alex can’t allow her to think she’s something she’s not.

She wants Kara to _know;_ before she makes a decision that might destroy them both, she needs her to know.

“Alex that’s—”

“—true.Maggie is my friend and I would die for her but not at the expense of the Rebellion.If I’d had to choose between that data and her family, I wouldn’t have chosen her family.”Shaking her head, Alex drops her eyes, unable to look at Kara and see the inevitable disgust.“You think I’m this hero but I’m not.You’re willing to put your life on the line for a galaxy of people just like me.We’re _not_ good people Kara.”

“Alex… you _saved_ me—”

“—no—”

“—yes—”

“—No, Kara I didn’t!I was… you were a means to an end in the beginning.I was just doing my job.”

When Kara drops her hands, Alex is almost thankful.At least this would be quick.

If quick meant Kara forcefully grabbing her face instead and kissing the ever loving crap out of her.

“Stop it.” Kara whispers between hard kisses.“Stop.This is my war just as much as it’s yours.And I’m with you.I don’t care how we started; I care how we end.”

“That might be a really bad explosion.Maybe a lot of rubble.Definitely crushed to death.”

Kara giggles, nuzzling her nose against Alex’s.“My brave Commander… you said that winning the war was all you cared about before.What do you care about now?”

“You.”Uncrossing her arms, Alex wraps Kara up tight, hugging her as if that alone will keep her safe.“I think… the things I feel for you Kara are so strong and… I think I’m falling in love with you.”The blonde tenses, her entire body going rigid in Alex’s arms and, desperately, Alex holds her even tighter.“I know that’s not a lot for you—for anyone really but I don’t want to lie.I’ve never—I want to say those words, but I want to mean them.I want to be sure that I mean them and—”

“I know Alex.”Kara quickly assures her, pulling back just enough to kiss her again.“I know; it’s enough. You’ve always been enough for me.”

Nodding, Alex drops her forehead against Kara’s.“Before when all I cared about was winning, it was easy.But I don’t care about that anymore.I just want you to be safe.I need— _I need_ you to be safe.”

“I’m safest with _you._ And I can handle myself I promise.”Kara’s mouth quirks, the smile heavy and shaking at the ends.“End of the world comes, you kind of want to spend it with your soulmate you know?”

~*~

There’s a girl in front of her.

Small.

Blonde.

The world is narrowed down to this child and what looks like a training arena, the edges blurred out by a greyish smog.Kaznia looks around but wherever the girl is not, is just inky blackness.

She steps into the arena.

At once everything is animated, the girl and her attackers moving with lightning quick efficiency.The child is smiling, carefree in her maneuvers as she easily parry’s the four teenagers that are trying to best her.The match is over in a matter of minutes and even Kaznia is impressed by the girl’s skill.But the most shocking part of this scene is that Kaznia recognizes her.

The child.

She _knows_ that face, _her_ face.

And whatever this is… it’s clear that it’s from Kaznia’s childhood.

Her past self grins happily, waving at nonexistent spectators before reaching to help one of the defeated teens up.He accepts her hand with a scowl and allows himself to be pulled to his feet.Child Kaznia tugs a little harder than necessary though and he lands heavily against her shoulder.

It puts her at the perfect level to whisper her threat without anyone seeing.

Kaznia sees.

She hears everything.

“That’s for bullying my sister.”

Sister.

Kaznia didn’t _have_ a sister.

She doesn’t _remember_ this.

What—

Pain explodes behind her eyes and she stumbles back into the darkness, chanting invading her mind and making the clouds coalesce into a twister around her.All she can do is sink to her knees and clap her hands over her ears.

_Do not lose yourself again._

Astra.

_Who is she?You see her Kaznia._

See who?

_Show us child._

An image of her child self appears before her, innocent and happy.Her eyes were still blue back then, Kaznia isn’t sure she wants them to turn red.She’d been powerful without it.

Another lance of pain, and she presses one hand to her temple, gritting her teeth against the feeling of a drill burrowing into her brain.

_Show us the girl Lord Kaznia._

What girl?Kaznia can hardly show them herself.

_What is her weakness?_

**_Kaz?_ **

_What does she love?_

No, not Kaz.That’s not her name.That’s not…

**_Kas?_ **

A smile.Alex.

_Yessss.Show us._

Something hugs her; Kaznia can’t remember the last time someone touched her like this.She doesn’t know how she could forget feeling this.

**_Kas!_ **

No.Astra had warned her.She shoves the thoughts—the memories away.Forces her mind to empty.Tries to.Fights back against the drill.

_Do not lose yourself again._

**_Kassandra!_ **

Kaznia screams.

~*~

As a Kryptonian, Kara is generally immune to most temperature fluctuations.Her body had been designed to keep her comfortable in even the harshest environments, but either she’s been away from a yellow sun for too long or she’s just gotten too used to Alex’s body resting next to hers.

Contrary to popular belief, Alex was a huge cuddler and more often than not Kara would spend whole nights with the brunette wrapped around her.It had never really been her thing before, her relationships much too casual for her to want them to stick around through the night let alone allow them to hold her.With Alex, it seems Kara can’t sleep without being held.

Groaning internally and bemoaning the Commander’s overactive brain, Kara grumpily pushes herself up and stalks through the ship.A quick glimpse in the cockpit shows M’gann at the helm, quietly speaking to someone on the comms.A green someone.

J’onn probably.

Alex had mentioned that they were friends.

Not finding her Zhao there, she turns towards the holodeck room.She would have checked the engine room or the cargo area first, Alex loved to tinker when her mind was busy, but they were too far away.Luckily her laziness is rewarded because she finds Alex glaring up at the blueprints as if they’ll reveal something new.

Huffing, Kara sidles up behind Alex and presses her forehead between strong shoulder blades.

“Come back to bed.”

“In a minute,” Alex murmurs softly, stroking Kara’s hands on her stomach. “I just—I’m close to something.”

“Close to what?You already figured it out and I miss you.”

Alex chuckles.“We’ve been together all day and besides, I didn’t figure it out.I guessed.It was a good guess but it’s not perfect.”

“You’re perfect.”

“Kara…”

Nuzzling her nose against the exposed skin at the back of Alex’s neck, Kara gently maneuvers until she’s placing kisses to the area.Alex hisses and Kara takes that as her cue to continue, trailing up to Alex’s neck and mouthing at her ear.She hates when Alex overworks herself like this.Like the fate of the galaxy lays in her hands alone.

Kara had spent twenty three years in a place where time didn’t exist and when she’d emerged, Cat had been the only one who had treated her like she was still a child.At the time she’d been a belligerent jerk, but looking back on it, she can’t help but appreciate the amazing mother figure that Cat had been.And still was.

She wonders if Alex had gone through something similar.It hadn’t been twenty three years, but Alex had been a slave once.Had Eliza treated her like a child when she’d gotten her back?Had Alex ever been able to just exist?

Without worrying about wars or weapons or death?

No expectations.

“Come to bed,” Kara appeals, “I need you.I need you so much.”

If no one else had given Alex a break, then Kara would.Almost as soon as her lips had met Alex’s skin, an almost overwhelming heat had settled in her belly, making her press harder against Alex’s back.Well, she thinks, maybe not necessarily a break but definitely some relief.Some very enjoyable relief.

“You,” Alex shivers and turns in Kara’s arms, “are such trouble.”

“I _promise_ I will make it worth your while.”Kara says, nudging Alex’s nose with her own, “And I’ll come back here with you tomorrow and we’ll look at these things until we’re blue in the face but just for now, please; I need you.”

Alex’s hands, warm and confident, dip below Kara’s waist to her thighs and, before she even recognizes what has happened, she’s been lifted into the air, her legs circling Alex’s hips.

_Rao._

“For you,” Alex husks, pressing a searing kiss to Kara’s mouth, “anything.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kara's sort of been walking a tightrope since we met her yeah? We know she doesn't kill but there was a whole planet that got destroyed (kind of because of her) by her sister. Then Kaznia came to Yavin and lightning. She's been stuffing down a lot of guilt over the acts of her sister and she's also been trying to reach a point where _killing_ her doesn't make her want to die herself or even hate herself for entertaining such a thought.
> 
> There's a lot of guilt, self hate, self worth sludgey stew that was brewing and Lucy just dumped that shit all out. I like Diana, and I actually think (re: know) that I'm giving Diana a bad rep here by making her be all "prophecy, prophecy, die Kaznia die" but … sorry/not sorry. With Diana in her ear, it's pretty hard for Kara to escape what appears to be her fate. As Alex pointed out, for someone who claims to hate the Jedi, Kara still looks up to both Antiope and Diana.
> 
> Disappointing them is unthinkable. Another point I have about the Jedi. By taking kids so young, you leave them mentally vulnerable to your thoughts and opinions. Kara thinks the world of Diana but Lucy is pushing her into her "Adult" phase where she realizes that even if the parent's have the best intentions and are kind and whatever, it doesn't necessarily mean that they're right. Kara's the one who'll have to live with her choices #adulting.
> 
> Mikhail: He's a kid trying to be an adult so that the other adults will take him seriously. He believes everything Kaznia and the Legion tell him because he's a kid. Don't judge him. He sees things very black and white.
> 
> Alex comes clean to Kara and allows herself to be held. Remember when Kara said all she'd wanted when her mom died and she'd lost Kas was a hug? Yeah. We could all use one, Alex included. She's getting there.
> 
> Kaznia.  
> Um.  
> Yeah. Wonder what she was seeing there; considering what we know about the twins so far.
> 
> Skip this part if you don't want to read a personal commentary on my grammar.
> 
> A note via Mikhail's scene: A while ago I had a commenter with the best of intentions remark on my use of nouns/epithets (I think that's the wording they used but I'm lazy.) The gist of it was that you shouldn't use descriptors like "blonde woman" etc. I agree. I actually don't mind reading it but my English teacher would have had my head so it definitely isn't "correct" and it wasn't something I was consciously doing. Almost all of my work is unbeta'd so any mistakes *are* my own and I accept this one; I've put more work into weeding out these sorts of phrases so their minimal at best. Thank you unknown reviewer.
> 
> However, they went on to say that you also shouldn't describe characters as "black" or "Spanish" (again paraphrasing) unless you're going to do it for all of your characters including the white ones but I respectfully disagree. I don't think it's a secret that I'm a woc, but if it is then: Surprise! Representation in media: film, music, literature, art, etc. is very important to me and I've had many a discussion on this very topic.
> 
> As a rule, you're usually taught to describe characters from the POV of the character in action. Thus, when I write for my characters I write how I see the world through their eyes. So if I'm Alex and I'm walking down the street and I see J'onn for the first time in my life. I'm gonna think Black Guy. When a hear a Spanish person talk, or if I can recognize the features, I say oh look a Spanish person. If I super recognize the accent and features I place them; Honduran, Guatemalan, Columbian (best accents ever. Like a song). It's not an insult and I don't know when it started to be construed as one. I think the politically correct phrases like "African American" are more insulting since not every black person is American. OR African. I personally am mixed but not African. See how that's an issue? But I digress.
> 
> The Reason I have an issue with *not* including those sort of descriptors, at least in my professional work, is because even when writer's go out of their way to describe minorities (incl. LGBTQ+, disabled, etc.) they somehow still get cast as white able bodied actors. (Scar Jo, Emma Stone, heck even Katniss Everdeen was meant to be a poc,(allegedly so was Hermione but... yeah)). So we're basically damned if we do and we're damned if we don't but even though the fight seems kind of futile in that respect I'm respectfully going to keep my epithets. Solely because when I write original stories, I want someone to read it one day and say "oh, a person that's like me." even if it never gets put in production, or the casting is changed, I can point back to it and say: "yeah, that character that you love, that was you all along."
> 
> Sorry for the rant: I know some people don't like reading them but I currently don't care. Maybe later.


	24. Ch 22: This is Gonna Hurt Like Hell

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Hawk finally sets down for some repairs and Kara tries to tell Alex that she doesn't want to kill Kaznia.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello all,
> 
> This is a BIG chapter and I've forgotten everything else I wanted to put in this note except that sooooo… enjoy.
> 
> Song: Hold On- The Rescues

She’s sitting on a sand covered floor dressed in tan robes.There’re soft murmurs all around her but Kaznia doesn’t look up to see where she is.Instead, she puzzles over the size of her hands, smaller than she’s used to.Then what she remembers.

It only takes another second for her to realize that this is yet another memory forced upon her by the Cisar’s witches.

The difference this time is that Kaznia can’t see her body as she normally does.This time she’s actually in it.

“Up.”A staff is dropped in front of her, longer than her own body and heavy when she picks it up curiously.“Stand Kassandra.”

Kassandra.

Apparently that was her name.At least in these visions.

She stands and finally notices a group of younglings all around her whispering to each other.The sounds set her on edge and she almost misses the first swipe at her head.Her instincts kick in before she gets hit and her staff ricochets off of her attacker’s, a young boy dressed in the same tan robes as her.

Training.

They must be training.

Except in normal scenarios, the training was one on one sessions.This boy is clearly skilled and Kaznia actually has to think to keep up with him and yet another body enter the ring.And another.

All attacking Kaznia.

It feels like a trap.

A setup of some sort and it makes Kaznia falter.

Makes her wonder why she’s faltering and angry and struggling when she’s a Dark Lord with complete mastery of the Force?And then it hits her, she’s in her child body now.Which means for all she may not like it, she’s got a child’s mind.

As such she’s forced to watch from a backseat, unable to calm herself when the anger starts to become unbearable, unable to redirect her focus when the frustration threatens to tear her apart.

And then things suddenly, desperately, shift.

Child Kaznia… something snaps inside of her.It’s a sensation that Kaznia herself has felt before, a switch she flicks when she wants to tap into the Dark Side.

Like a safety mechanism of a weapon.When that switch flips…

The child attackers all gasp, frozen mid attack as a purple glow begins to spread over Kassandra’s body.The child tilts her head cruelly, bending her hand and bringing her opponents over to her face, watching in satisfaction as they begin to struggle and squirm like the worms they are.

How _dare_ they attack her!

How dare they—

She’s thrown back, tumbling legs over head towards the edge of the ring and into a sandbag.The collision brings her back to the here and now and a feeling of terror suffuses her being.She looks around, knowing innately that she’s in trouble and that there will be no recourse for her.

Kaznia had lost control _again!_ She hadn’t even felt it that time!One second she’d been fighting and the next she’d lost her temper.

Somehow she doubts the Masters would care.They were going to kick her out; throw her away. They wouldn't keep someone destined for the Dark Side.

The fear only grows when she’s hearing hurried footsteps, the sounds of the medical droids and feels a shadow loom over her.

“Zor-El!What happened in there?!You could have killed them and—”

“Leave her alone.”Kara shouts.

_Wait “Kara”?The drill deepens, feels more like a saw now.They’re ripping her skull apart.They’ll break it.Her._

Kara steps in front of her, no longer acting as Kaznia’s shadow but putting Kaznia in hers.

_Not Kaznia, Kassandra.Kas._

_Kas._

_Kaz._

_Kas?_

“Malcom jumped in when he wasn’t supposed to.Master Tano said that only—”

“Silence Youngling.”Mr. Lockwood snaps, glaring at Kara like she was something to be despised. “Master Tano was not leading this exercise, I was, and I approved—”

“It doesn’t matter.”Kara argues defiantly, glaring right back.“Master Tano said that Kas shouldn’t be tested until she has more control and you’re trying to antagonize her just so you can punish her too and I’ll beat you myself before I let that happen.”

Still spitting mad, Kara scoops up Kaznia’s staff and holds it in front of her in an attack position.

Mr. Lockwood gapes at her.

Kaznia gapes at her.

Kassandra cries, pulling her knees to her chest and burying her face there.Kaznia is almost ashamed until she sees an orange toned Togruta stooping silently behind Kaznia and laying a calming hand on her shoulder.It’s so warm that Kaznia can feel it as if the touch is here with her now.

Master Tano.

Kaznia remembers her.

_Not her._

_Where is the girl?_

_Show us Lord Kaznia._

Piercing pain behind her eye makes her groan, makes her clutch her face and she misses the next few seconds of events until she looks up again and Master Tano is between Kara and Kaznia, and Mr. Lockwood.

“Kara is correct Mr. Lockwood; I don’t believe we can fault young Kassandra for a flaw that we should not exploit until more training has been done.”

“Why you…”

Whatever else he says is lost to the background as the image starts fading.She can barely see anything but Kara in front of her; Kara spinning, dropping to her knees and prying Kassandra’s head up.For the first time, Kaznia meets the face of her protector.

Her heart stops.

“It’s ok,” Kara’s saying, identical blue eyes boring onto her own.“I would never let them hurt you Little Star.El Mayarah.”

_El-Mayarah._

_Yes._

_That **is** the one!_

Kara melts into Alex melts into the sensation of warm fingers on her neck and arms, gentle kisses, strong arms, a soft laugh…

_Tell the Cisar._

_We’ve found her.The spy was right._

El Mayarah…

~*~

Naboo is as beautiful as Alex remembers, the green scenery lush and vibrant and teaming with life.There are butterflies the size of her head that keep trying to land on the Hawk’s windshield.Their usual countermeasure—re: Lucy’s countermeasure—is to electrocute the bugs before they can completely disrupt their field of view.Now, with Kara around, Alex had had to slip Lucy fifty credits beforehand to _not_ murder the “pretty butterflies” in front of her rather sensitive girlfriend. 

Kara and Winn still haven’t stopped gushing.

Naboo also a strong rebel base and is a great place to hideout while they make repairs and finish zeroing in on the Sith’s weapon.

Not that anyone else really knows about the rebel base _but_ the rebellion, even the planet’s inhabitants kept in the dark.But, when the grandmasters of the Jedi council found a great font of Light energy on Naboo, they had immediately set out to build a bunker on the planet that had seen little traffic from Legion forces.

“Remember that favor you asked me for at the Cantina?I could only get three.”M’gann says a few minutes after they land, tossing Alex, Lucy, and Maggie each a paper wrapped package.She turns to the others with a genuine grimace of apology.“Sorry, I don’t know any of you.”

“It’s fine.”Kara says with a laugh and wave of her hand.Currently, she’s leaned back in one of the passenger chairs in the cockpit munching on a rather large sandwich.“Alex gave me a really great present this morning.”

Lucy looks up intrigued and, when Kara’s smile widens, she turns her attention to Alex.

“You _dog._ ”

“What’s our plan Major?”Alex asks, already untying the gift from her friend.It’s light and fairly bendy so it’s more than a little surprising that the contents is a set of armor.

“Three teams,” Lucy shoots off immediately.“Cat and I will stay behind and be bored while M’gann, James and Winn go gather everyday supplies.Maggie will act as a scout for trouble and relay any unusual activity from the locals to everyone, and you, Kara, and Diana will go make contact with the Rebels and find a mechanic willing to fix this hunk for a decent price.Or,” Lucy pauses to wink theatrically, “for free.”

“M’gann what kind of armor is this?”Alex asks, completely ignoring the weirdness of her friend.“It doesn’t feel like anything I’m used to.”

“That’s because it’s the new mockup of Mandalorian grade armor.I picked it off a group of newbies who decided to go merc in a bad way.I _did_ have to make out with one of them so I could see their face and do a decent shift, so I hope you lot appreciate them.”

“Aww,” Maggie coos, throwing an arm over the Martian’s shoulder in a one armed hug.“You’re the best and most cool Martian ever!”

Lucy says, “you _dog_.”

“Wear it under your civvies.” M’gann advises, moving towards the main area to gather her team.

Alex sends a silent prayer out on her behalf.She knows she and Kara have been particularly amorous lately, but Winn and James have been downright outrageous.If she had a dollar for every time she’d caught them at it—

It was just inconsiderate!

And her ship _did_ not appreciate having to see Winn’s bare ass every damn second.

“Don’t be grumpy.”Kara says, leaning over the back of her chair and pecking her lightly on the cheek.

“Your friends are gross.”Alex tips her head back in exasperation and not at all to give Kara a better angle.

“Our friends.”Kara insists, hands cupping Alex’s cheeks and tilting Alex’s chin to a comfortable angle. Her ponytail falls heavily over one shoulder and tickles Alex’s cheek almost making her mouth twitch. “And it’s still a good day because we get to spend the whole thing together and you don’t have to witness any romance.”Kara kisses her again and again until Alex loses the pout.

When she becomes aware of her surroundings again, she notices Lucy looking at her with a mixture of revulsion and happiness.

“You dog.”A second later, Lucy is shoving Alex in the shoulder.“Good for you Cap.”

~*~

Kara has to remind herself that they are on a very important mission, one that could spell life and death for the whole galaxy.It’s a very difficult thing to do on a planet like this.Maybe if they had been on a desert planet like Jakku, she could focus better but Naboo is just… beautiful.She’d been on green planets before obviously, but Naboo just looks new.Untouched and unscarred by war or strife.An innocent oasis of light.

It would be an incredibly romantic place to have a moment alone with your sweetheart.Her heart already racing at the thought, she turns to glance at Alex and finds the rebel already looking at her.Alex is sitting a few inches away from her, leaning back against the rocky cliff they’ve been climbing, and immediately turns away when they make eye contact.Kara laughs under her breath, reaching out discretely with one hand to massage the strong muscles of Alex’s calf.

Before they’d left the Hawk that morning, Lucy had pulled Kara aside and asked her if she’d spoken to Alex yet.

“Remember that part about listening?”Lucy had said, “that also means you have to be open to her as well.”

“I _am_ open to her.”

“Oh yeah?Did you tell her that you don’t want to kill Kassandra?Because I have a feeling if that were the case, I’d already have about twenty alternate plans on my desk.”

And ok, admittedly… Kara wasn’t sure _how_ to tell Alex what she wanted—needed.It still seemed so out of reach for one but also… Alex is stressed enough.Kara would hate to have to add to that.

Logically she knows that Alex would _want_ to know and that she needs to tell her but… Kara’s been a burden her whole life.She’s been enjoying being Alex’s safe space.Selfishly, she wants to hold onto that just a little longer.

The closer they get to the end of all of this, she knows she can’t.

They’re currently halfway up a mountain and have stopped to have lunch.Diana and Kara more so than Alex.

Sometimes it seemed like the human could actually _forget_ to eat which made absolutely zero sense to Kara since she had to eat quite a bit to provide her body with enough energy.Both for when she employed the Force and for her demanding Kryptonian genetics.Particularly when a yellow sun was involved, which Naboo also had.

This planet was great.

“Aren’t you hungry?”Kara asks, offering Alex a bite of her sandwich.

“I ate.”

“When?”

Reaching into her pocket, Alex reveals the empty packaging for a popular nut and dried fruit snack.

Kara eyes it as though she expects it to sprout horns and attack her.“You’re joking, right?”

“It’s healthy.”Alex argues, bristling and shoving the wrapper back into her pocket.“And I like it.It’s a lot better than eating sandwiches all day.”

“If you didn’t like sandwiches, why didn’t you ask to pack something else?”Kara asks concerned, her hand settling on Alex’s knee.

“It’s fine Kara.”Kara pouts, her eyes going wide as she allows her bottom lip to tremble.Alex’s own eyes widen, and she quickly grabs the hand on her knee and squeezes.“Nothing I like is very trail friendly and normally I suck it up and eat it anyway but today we’re going straight to a rebel base.A good one.They’ll have something inside.The nuts will hold me over until then.I promise.”

Fighting the urge to smirk in triumph, Kara instead frowns.It’s a good explanation, completely in the realm of Alex’s logic but she still doesn’t like the idea of Alex being hungry.Even for a little while.

“Is it the veggies?”She asks, turning her lunch in her hands and trying to figure out the bad.“Or the bread?”

“It’s the cold.”Alex sighs, “I’m not overly fond of cold foods.”Quieter and with a surreptitious glance at Diana, she admits, “they hurt my teeth sometimes.”

“Oh.”Well that’s easy.Tearing her sandwich in half, Kara focuses and quickly superheats the sandwiches insides.The cheese on the ends melt quickly, some of it falling with a dramatic wet _plop_.

Giddily, Kara offers the hot sandwich to Alex, stuffing her half in her mouth.“Curful iz hot.”

The smile Alex sends her is pure affection and Kara can’t help leaning in to kiss her cheek.

Sue her, Alex has very kissable cheeks.

“Thank you,” Alex says, accepting the offering and taking a cautious bite.She nods but unlike Kara, waits for her mouth to be food free before responding.“It’s good.”

Next to her, Diana snorts and Alex’s blush returns full force.Kara doesn’t blame her; it was so easy to forget other people were around them sometimes.

“So how much longer to the base?”Kara asks, putting a more respectable distance between her and Alex and smiling when the rebel sighs in relief.

“Maybe an hour?”Alex says, glancing up at the sun.

“Less.”Diana says, “time is of the essence.”

“With all due respect,” Alex argues, “running up a mountain isn’t really in my skillset.Particularly when we’re not being chased.”

“You will not have to run.Kara will carry you.”

The thought sends a giddy pulse straight through Kara’s being.It seems to have the opposite effect on Alex.

“You want Kara to carry me?”

“Well, would you prefer _I_ carry you?”

“Absolutely not but—”

“No buts Commander.Or will you allow your pride to get in the way of a time sensitive operation?”

Of course Diana knew the exact buttons to press to make Alex cave, but Kara is still a little uncomfortable with it all.

“We don’t have to do this.”She whispers quietly to Alex when Diana begins packing away the lunch supplies.“You don’t have to let me carry you if it makes you uncomfortable.No matter what Diana says.”

Alex grimaces.“She’s right though.This _will_ save us some time. And,” she pauses to scrub a hand over her face which does nothing to hide her embarrassed flush.“it’s not the idea of you carrying me.I don’t mind—It’s… it’s that she’ll _see_ you carry me.”

This time she kisses Alex’s mouth, careful to shield her rebel from direct view by her mentor.

“Then I will run behind her.”

~*~

“Cap, you read me?”

“Loud and clear Lucy.”Alex says from over Kara’s shoulder.It actually is loud and clear because of Kara’s abilities and she fights the urge to snicker at her joke.

Internally she’s glad for the distraction.Alex had been even less talkative then usual when she’d made the transfer to Kara’s back, having absolutely refused to be put in a bridal carry.As such, Kara’s had a lot more time for introspection.

A lot more time to think about what’s ahead of them.

Soon they’ll know the location of the Legion’s weapon and Alex had already isolated the core that would need to be destroyed to prevent the weapon from discharging.Once they got back to the ship with the mechanic and any tools Alex would need…

The next step would be to meet the Sith head on; to fight.

And, if Kara follows the prophecy, to kill.

For years Kara’s had to think of that eventuality.She’s gone over and over it in her own head, how it would play out and what she would do and say.Now that she knows Astra’s alive it’s gotten a little harder and the only thing she can think of for comfort is that she had already thought Astra was dead and Kassandra likes to wear that stupid mask.

She’d be able to put some closure to her relationship with her aunt.

And she won’t have to look into her twin’s face.

Or she can tell Alex and… what?Have Alex clean up her mess?Risk the entire galaxy for her own personal comfort?

Put the lives of trillions of people in danger—civilians like the ones who she’d gotten killed on Yavin?

Or face her destiny as is.

Ignore the small bubble of hope that Lucy’s talk had brought her and just… accept her fate.Pray for the best.

Trust in the Force.

The reasoning is just as hollow as every other time she’s tried it and instead of solace, she’s once again filled with rage.

What-if scenarios and accusations shooting through her brain in rapid fire.In the end it always falls back to the Jedi.

If Antiope had never shared that prophecy—if she’d just minded her own business.If the Jedi had left her and Kas _alone_.

Even if Krypton would have been lost, at least they would have died with their family.

They would have died together.

She and Kas would have died together, always together in Rao’s light.

That was all lost now.

Maybe she should finish the Jedi off while she was at it.

She immediately dismisses the thought, sick inside at having had the ill intention even pass through her brain.There are times when Kara doesn’t even know who she is anymore and that disassociation might have started at the Jedi temple, but it’s only gotten progressively worse the closer she gets to ending Kassandra.

Ending the war.

She’s not sure what will be left of her when this is over.

“Negative.”Alex is saying over her shoulder.“They’re only a few minutes late.I think you should give it an hour and then get back to me.Those idiots are probably sightseeing.”

_“With M’gann_?”Lucy questions.

“Please.She’s just as bad as you and you know it.”

_“Defenders of love and justice.”_

“You could have Maggie scout closer to the city, see if she hears anything but it’s your command Lucy.It’s whatever you think is best.”

There’s a moment of silence but Kara’s enhanced hearing picks up on Lucy’s muted mumblings until she finally heaves a sigh.

_“Got ya Cap.We’ll wait and see.I’ll send Myxz out in thirty minutes if I haven’t gotten contact.”_

“Sounds good.”Alex agrees before ending the connection.

Desperate for an escape from her thoughts, Kara turns her attention to Alex, gently squeezing the thighs wrapped around her hips.

“Was that about Winn and James?Are they causing trouble?”

“They haven’t gotten back to the ship yet, but their ETA was only about fifteen minutes ago.No distress calls but Lucy can’t reach them.I’m not worried yet.M’gann was with them.”

“Plus James is a very gifted soldier.”Kara adds.

Both Alex and Diana snort.

“You shouldn’t underestimate people just because they’re weird.”Kara huffs, hiking Alex up higher as she leaps over a rock.

“What about if their geeks?”

“ _You’re_ a geek!”

“I am a nerd.”Alex corrects, poking Kara in the neck.“Huge difference.”

Rolling her eyes good naturedly, Kara slows as the sound of heartbeats enter her ears.“I think we’re here.”

Alex hops down, fiddling with her watch and bringing up her Rebel credentials.It’s just in time too, as they are approached by four men in white and orange uniforms.

~*~

Getting into the base to see General Lord had been easy.Resisting the urge to punch the Council member in his stupidly smug face is another matter altogether.

Maxwell Lord isn’t exactly the poster boy for the light, but he’s not a murderer and believes in the prosperity of humans so that makes him kind of not evil.

He is still a huge jerk.

It takes nearly two hours to jump through all of his hoops and have him agree to patch up the Hawk. He sends his droids down to the location Alex gives him, a small pod taking them down much faster than the small trio had taken to come up. In that time, Lucy reports that Winn has checked in and that they’re on their way back to the Hawk; that Winn had sounded super excited over seeing a real live Gungan; and that the scans for the weapon were nearing completion.

With any luck, everyone will be ready to go by the time Lord gets his head out of his ass.

She’s fighting the urge to stomp, her steps still heavy if not brisk, when she sees Kara leaning against one of the open walls.Max believed in taking the beauty of the nature around him and turning it into blah blah blabbity gross!If Alex had had to listen to _one_ more of his soliloquies, she swore she’d vomit.

The effect is massive arches with amazing views of the valley beneath the mountain that Max just liked to call windows.

Kara is standing in what would have been the frame of one, the sunlight bathing her hair in a beautiful glow and glancing rather tastefully off of blue eyes.It’s definitely a good look for her; Kara’s mostly in the shadows of the window but where the sunlight manages to find her, she just… glows.

Seeing Kara helps to soothe the beast, and, the closer she approaches the quieter it gets.

“Hey.”Alex says, glancing around to see that they’re pretty much alone before sliding her palm along Kara’s bicep.The muscle is tense under her arm and Alex’s brow furrows.“What’s wrong?”

Kara shakes her head, dropping her eyes to the ground and glaring at her feet.

“Normally I’m the one who’s into long sullen silences.”Alex accuses, moving to stand in front of Kara and lift her head gently.“This is a rare time I’m gonna push you ok?”

“Please don’t.”Kara whispers, eyes clenching closed.

Suddenly Alex no longer cares if they’re being watched, she pulls Kara close to her, holding her body tightly as she rocks the Kryptonian in her arms.

It’s a new feeling that she’s not quite sure she likes, the idea that she’s responsible, at least in part, for this woman’s wellbeing.She may not be the reason behind all of Kara’s happiness and she’d never want to put that much pressure on herself, but she also hates that she can’t always put her world right.Whatever is bothering Kara right now, she just wants to fix it.She needs to know what it is first.Maybe then she’ll at least not feel so helpless.

“Kara, remember when you told me that I have to share things with you?”The huff against her neck tells her that yes, Kara does remember.“I’m asking for that now.Whatever this is… honey even if I can’t fix it completely, I still want to help you.”

“You can’t.”

“Why?”

Shaking her head, Kara pulls back and tries for a smile.It doesn’t work at all.Alex waits patiently; of the two of them, she’s clearly the more tolerant of long silences.If Kara needs time to gather herself, Alex is more than willing to give her that. 

“…What’s going to happen?After?”

Alex shrugs, “I’m not sure.They usually give out medals and commendations.Up until a few weeks ago, I always imagined that’d be done posthumously.”

Kara’s head jolts up at that admission, but Alex doesn’t look away.It was true.For some reason she’d always assumed she’d die in the war.It had never been a wish or a desire, but seeing how everyone around her kept dying, it had been a logical conclusion.

She’d wondered what would happen to her.Human religions said that god was the giver of life and that all of his creations would rejoin him in death.

Alex hadn’t really been created by a god.Eliza and Jeremiah had made her from science.

She had no idea where she was going to go when she died.

Her best hope had been for a quick end into oblivion.

Her worst was limbo, the higher beings having no idea where something like her fit.

Blue eyes narrow and, for a second, she worries that Kara can read her thoughts.The fear is quickly squashed.Even if she could, Alex has nothing to hide.Not from her.

“What about now?What do you imagine now?”

“You.”Alex admits readily, smiling a little when Kara blushes.It’s another truth, as she falls more deeply for this woman, Alex can’t help but think that living might be a much better end goal.“I think about what it would be like to be with you on solid ground.Not flying around in an airship all the time.”

Kara’s eyebrows raise in surprise before she seemingly remembers something and nods.“Right.No long term space pirating for you.”One of her hands brushes over Alex’s undercut and she hums in approval.“What are you gonna do with the Ebon Hawk?”

“I’d probably give it to Lucy.She’s more of an adventurer than I am.I’d want to build a house.”

“A house?”

“Yeah…”Alex nods thoughtfully, already seeing in her mind’s eye the kind of structure it would be.Wooden, with big windows so that Kara could soak in the sun.Something simple. And away. “I wanna make you a _real_ meal, in a real kitchen. And I’d also like to make love to you on something other than a hard cot.”

“Oh?” The word bubbles out of Kara, her shoulder’s shaking with her mirth and allowing Alex at least some ease.Whatever had been troubling her seems to have taken a bit of a backburner.“Am I moving in with you then?”

And there’s the crux.

The after.

Before Eliza Alex hadn’t given it much thought, wanting only to win and, if she lived, retire.Simple.Now she wants nothing more than to build a life where Kara wouldn’t regret choosing her.Where Kara could be happy and away from the Jedi and the Sith and wars.

Building them a home together might accomplish at least some of that.

“I’ll let you have the big windows you like so much.”She allows, a small smile stretching across her face as she pretends to barter.

Her heart swells when Kara joins her game, teasingly narrowing her eyes.

“I want a huge bath; something I can splash around in.”

It’s not even a surprise that something like that is on the table and Alex wisely chooses not to remark on their respective ages and maturity levels.If Kara wants a large tub, Alex will build her one. **Kara** will be the one cleaning up the water she gets all over the place.

“And I want a lab; I’ll put in a failsafe so nothing blows up.”

“Can we share?I’ve always wanted to work on something with you.”Kara wiggles her eyebrows.“We can take over the galaxy Commander.”

Alex chuckles and busses a kiss to Kara’s nose.“With what?Automatic food machines?Don’t think I didn’t see the blueprints.”

“It could work!”

“Maybe…”Alex admits, thinking back to the actually well-crafted plans.“We’ll see.This all requires you saying yes to mov—”

“Yes.”Kara shrugs, a happy smile on her face.“You don’t even need to ask.I’m with you until the end my Zhao.”

Biting her lip, Alex coughs and looks away.The things Kara makes her feel can get… intense.If she had maintained eye contact, she’s pretty sure she would have ravished the woman right here and now.Or proposed marriage.Whichever.

“Good; that’s…” she clears her throat.“We would probably need a guest wing though.Just so you know.”Alex hedges, “for when Lucy or even Winn wanted to visit.Friendly warning, there’s a strict no sex policy for our guests.”

Kara’s grin goes soft, her hands sliding around to cup Alex’s face.Alex loves when she does that.

“My best friend is your friend.”She teases.

“Ok.”Alex says not confirming or denying the statement.“Kara…I know that this has mostly been fueled by war and being trapped together on a small ship but—”

“It’s not.”Kara denies with a small headshake.“Not for me.”

And Alex is reminded that Kara is bound to her by a Kryptonian soulmate thing.

“Would you have chosen me?”She asks quietly, needing to know the answer now that she can see the complete picture.“I know you say you did but… without the bond, was I what you imagined for a partner?”

“No,” Kara wraps her arms tight around Alex’s shoulders, nearly suffocating her with her strength.“You’re better than anyone I could have thought up.More than I will ever be able to deserve.”

“Well that is decidedly untrue.”

Giggling, Kara kisses her neck and burrows deeper.“Says the human.Alex… what if I can’t do it?”

“Then I will.”Alex runs a hand along her spine, remembering in graphic detail how Kara’s skin felt, the scar caused by her sacrifice and human selfishness clear in her mind.“And if not me Lucy, and if not her Diana, or Maggie, or M’gann or hell even Lena.You’re not alone in this fight Kara.You have people in your corner now and we won’t abandon you. _I_ will notabandonyou.”

Something wet hits her neck and Alex brings one hand up to cup the back of Kara’s head, shushing her gently.A soldier walks near them and Alex glares at him until he speeds passed them.Rookies.

“And that,” Kara sighs, pulling away and tenderly sealing their mouths together in a wet kiss, “is why I do not deserve you.Thank you.”

“You’re welcome?”

“Can we talk more about that?”Kara asks quietly, resting her forehead on Alex’s temple.“Can we… when we get back to the Hawk can we maybe figure that part out?”

“Of course.”Alex squeezes her, hating the tension that settles over them.“I think you deserving me should be a top priority.First demand is a repeat of last night.”

Kara explodes in laughter.Shoving at Alex and simultaneously burying her face in her shoulder.She’s snorting she’s laughing so hard and Alex just stands there with a dumb smile on her face, proud that she was the reason behind it all.

“Come on you addict.”Kara giggles, extracting herself from Alex’s arms and taking her hand.“Did you get everything you needed?”

Alex hefts her bag of gadgets up, the satchel laying crosswise along her chest.“I did.”

“Let’s find Diana and go.I want to watch the stars with you at least once Commander.”Kara leans in close, her breath whispering over Alex’s ear seductively.“Then all the sex you want.”

Shivering, Alex feels her lips tick and bites them into submission.It wouldn’t do for a Commander of the Rebel army to be giggling like a schoolgirl after all.

~*~

They find Diana in one of Max’s offices, reviewing the current state of the Rebel troops.The Republic is still extremely divided between the Legion and the Rebels and, for their gambit to work, there will need to be a concerted attack on the rest of the Sith troops as well.It would be a terrible kind of irony to make it all the way to the Sith’s mega weapon only to be shot down by a destroyer.

Holding Alex’s hand tightly in her own, Kara comes face to face with the leader of this group of rebels for the second time today.Just as this morning, she is extremely unimpressed.Maxwell Lord is not that tall, and even if he wears a fancy suit it doesn’t detract from that stupid face.

And she especially hates the way he keeps making eyes at Alex.

How her Rebel can be so blind is beyond Kara.Alex thinks Max is a jerk to be sure, but she admires his intelligence.It grates on Kara’s nerves to think that under the right circumstances, Alex _might_ have gone for a guy like Max.

Who isn’t even worthy to breathe the same air as her.

Luckily, Kara has also grown up with Cat Grant and has become something of a master at schooling her facial expressions.The trick is subtlety; think of a calm plane of water; _be_ the water.

When they walk into the room Diana glances over at them and frowns, focusing on Kara rather than the planetary holograms in front of her.

“Why are your scowling?Has something happened?”

“No!The sun… was in my eye…”

Ok, so maybe her attempts at subterfuge needed some work.

Alex gives her hand a quick squeeze before letting go and joining the other two at the table.

“Did you get word to the Council yet?”Alex asks Max, fingers curling around her bag strap.“We’ll need at least a dozen squadrons of X-wings when we make our play.”

“You haven’t even told _me_ about your plans.But yes, I have alerted them that you believe you are close to securing the weapon.”

Alex hums, neither glaring at Max nor smiling.She just looks like she hates him.Kara jumps for joy on the inside.Alex had never looked at _her_ like that.

“Just make sure you tell Lena what I believe the weapon to be capable of.This is a galaxy wide extinction event.”

“But to what purpose?”Max asks, squinting at Alex and gesturing to the table.“The Sith aren’t galaxy destroyers.They’ll need a place to _live._ ”

“Maybe it’s a way to set a ransom?”Kara suggests, moving to Alex’s other side.It takes a lot not to reach out to the other woman, but she respects that Alex doesn’t want to seem soft in front of this man. _Kara_ doesn’t want to seem soft in front of this man.“Like if you don’t do what we want, we blow you up.”

Max turns those beady eyes on her, his upper lip curling in disgust.

“Who is this and why is she here?”

Even though she sees Alex bristle, ready and primed to come to her defense, Kara knows she’s no damsel in distress.She can come to her own defense.

“ _She_ is Kara and she’s standing right here.And I can tell you for a fact that I’m probably a hell of a lot more important than you are you…” Ok, so maybe she’d gotten a little ahead of herself by calling on an adjective when she’s not really used to insulting people.But Max was _so_ infuriating and dammit!Why can’t she think of a suitable insult!“Jerk… guy.”

The other three occupants raise their brows as one but only Alex’s lips tick.Kara’s pretty sure the only reason she doesn’t die of mortification is because her Zhao takes a step back to stand beside her, a hand settling in the middle of her back.

“Max, this is Kara.She’s on my crew.”

“You don’t let anyone on your crew.”

Alex shrugs, “she’s different.”

“And impotent.”Max drawls, bringing up a copy of the blueprints Alex had brought with her.“If the Sith wanted to blackmail the planets they couldn’t do it with this machine.Once activated, it’s game over.Indiscriminately.It’s like nothing I’ve ever seen.”

“Me either.”Alex grumbles, “kind of makes me wish I’d taken on a degree in quantum physics.”

“Yeah, well I have one and I can tell you.Those things,” Max jabs a finger at the equations surrounding the weapon’s artillery.“Those are not p-waves.Good guess though.”

“What are they?”

Feeling a bit left out, Kara throws her focus into reanalyzing the weapon before her.And into not pouting over Alex not coming to her defense.No matter that she doesn’t _need_ a defense, it would have still been nice to have one.

Rao, she feels like a crazy woman.

But she will not be shown up by _Maxwell Lord_!

“Some sort of energy to be sure, but p-waves don’t quite move in that spectrum.They’re more made of light and this looks… heavier.”

“Can it be blocked?” Diana asks.“In the event we fail, could you create a barrier that can encase it?”

“Already ahead of you.”Max flips a small device in his palm.“My droids are replicating this as we speak but they’re designed to supplement a ship’s defense systems, not a soldier’s or even a _planet’s_.On top of that I’m still not completely sure what this is, so at best it will just slow it down.If we’re going to stop it, we need to define it.”

“It’s not a gas, or thermal, or even chemical either.Not really.”Alex crosses her arms, swiping a hand tiredly over her face.Kara wonders if she’s regretting leaving her analysis last night; if she was wishing she’d ignored Kara’s enticement.Maybe she should have left Alex alone…

_Focus._

Energy.

The equations.

She draws on all of her knowledge of Kryptonian science.She’d only been a child when she’d done the courses, but it was still far above what many civilizations learned.Even more so since she’d studied under centuries old Jedi.She bet she was smarter than Max at least and—

Rao.

“Alex.”The two scientists stop and look at her, Alex’s face pinching in concern.Kara has no idea what her own face looks like but she’s guessing terror. “That’s—"

Unfortunately, no sooner had she begun talking then the alarms started blaring around the base.Max scowls, digging under his desk for a moment before retrieving an obnoxiously large gun.Some people would say he was overcompensating.

Not Kara though.

Kara was not people.

“T8,” Max calls, pressing a com unit on the desk panel, “what is that?”

Next to her Alex grabs her arm.“Finish your sentence.What were you going to say?”

“The energy,” Kara says, blinking and suddenly feeling a little off.Probably from this recent revelation.Rao, how was she supposed to stop _that?_ “It’s the Force.The Sith are going to use the Force to destroy the planets.”

Alex’s brow furrows but she doesn’t say anything, her eyes lowering as she absorbs this latest piece of information.

Behind them, Max heaves an exasperated sigh and puts down his gun.

“Your “crew” is here.”

“My crew?” Alex mumbles, looking up just as James and Winn are led into the room.“What?”

It is peculiar.

Hadn’t they been with M’gann?Crap, Kara can’t think straight.Her head hurts and she’s not sure if they’re under attack or not but dammit!How had the Sith managed to turn the essence of the galaxy into a _weapon?_

“Can you please tell them to lower their guns?”Winn squeaks, poking the blaster closest to his shoulder.

Alex huffs but nods at Max who sends his troops away.Heaving a breath of relief, Winn adjusts his clothes and sends them a guilty wave.James is a bit more ruffled looking.

“We were in the market,” the taller man starts, walking over to them briskly.“The Sith are here; they’re looking for us.They have posters.”

Nodding, Diana rounds the table, her hand on her lightsaber.“Then we’ll take our leave.General—”

“No, you don’t understand!They were looking for _this_ place.”James gestures around them.“We ran as fast as we could, but they could be on us any second!”

“Kara!”Winn says, rushing over to her.Her friend looks scared but different and the closer he gets to her, the worse her headache becomes.Crap.Worse timing ever.“Give me your staff, I need to make some adjustments.”

She hands it over wordlessly, feeling Alex’s hand tap her back gently.Soothingly.Kara leans back into the gesture and rubs her forehead, closing her eyes briefly.

When she opens them again James is checking his weapons, Max is currently directing his troops via a neural network, and Diana has her eyes closed, obviously trying to sense the danger coming.Winn is fidgeting with her staff and Alex…

Alex is staring at James like he’s an exceptionally simple puzzle.

“Why didn’t you use the comms?”

“What?”James mumbles, clearly distracted.

“Lucy tried to get you on comms.She said you weren’t responding.”

“Yeah… they must have broken or maybe the Sith did something to interfere.I don’t know.”He paces behind Max and Diana, peering over the former’s shoulder to study the blueprints.“Are those ready?We won’t have a lot of time to get them to the Resistance.”

But… Winn had called on the comms.He’d said they were heading back to the ship.They couldn’t have been broken.

“Almost.”Max mumbles.“It’d go faster if you weren’t glued to my back.”

James balks, stumbling towards Diana with an affronted expression.

Alex’s fingers press harder into Kara’s back.It feels weird, like there’s something metal is digging into her spine.What was that?

And why did she feel so nauseous?

“James…” Alex asks, “where is M’gann?”

“She went to the ship to warn the others.” 

Kara’s head jerks up; slowly though.Too slowly.

“Because the Sith are behind us?”Alex asks for confirmation, her voice unveiling her distrust.

If M’gann had gone to warn the others, she would have gotten to the Ebon Hawk way before James and Winn reached the rebel base.And _their_ comms were working just fine.Lucy would have told them.

She would have let them _know_.

And, now that Kara thinks about it, there’s no way they could have gone to the market _and_ gotten up here in this amount of time.They were humans running on foot and Winn was… Winn.

Unfortunately, her brain is being especially slow and by the time she’s worked all of this out, James is already shaking his head regretfully.

“No Alex.The Sith are in front of you.”

No one even sees it coming.Well except Alex.

Alex had her blaster in her hand and was shooting before James had attacked.

Unfortunately, when Kara had said that James was a gifted fighter she had not been exaggerating.James already has his energy shield engaged and Alex’s shot is easily absorbed into the blue field.In the time it had taken for Alex to take her shot, James had stabbed Max though the chest and instantly sent the Jedi’s lifeless body to the ground.

Then he’s all speed as he engages Diana who at least has her lightsaber out.But…but there’s something dangling on her wrist that hadn’t been there before.James catches the lightsaber against his own red one in a high guard, and only Alex tackling her to the ground saves Kara’s life as the droids start attacking _them_.

Winn.

Kara lands on her back with a grunt, her hand scrabbling for her weapon before she realizes she’s given it to Winn.Also… she can’t breathe.Like really, really can’t breathe.It’s a move born of desperation that makes her grab Alex’s arm.It takes a second for Alex to look back, she’s pulled them behind a console that’s offering them terrible protection and is shooting back at the droids _and_ James while Kara remains a useless bundle on the ground.But her anxiety must show in her eyes because when Alex does look, Alex _realizes._

Something is jabbed into Kara’s neck and for a second, her airway is cleared.Firm hands yank her up by her collar, propping her back against the wall of the console as Alex grabs her head.

“Hey, eyes on me.Focus on me.Where were you hit?”Alex’s eyes are darting everywhere, her hands running up and down Kara’s body as she looks for a nonexistent injury.

It’s all Kara can do to shake her head, as her vision begins to fade again.No, not now.Please Rao, don’t let her abandon her family again.

Alex slaps her and she jerks back to reality, wheezing through the pain while Alex leans back up to return fire again. And then Alex is cursing, and Diana is screaming, and Alex is running, leaving Kara behind to try to peek around the makeshift shelter.

Alex slides into the fight between James and Diana, the latter of whom has somehow found both of her hands bound behind her back by golden circlets. The whole dash couldn’t have taken more than a few seconds and even James looks impressed at Alex’s reflexes.

Kara’s not impressed.Kara is looking into the shock-terrified eyes of her captive mentor.

Why can’t she breathe?

“What did you do to her?”Alex hisses, her vibrosword coming close to shorting out James’ lightsaber as she swipes it at his head.

James shrugs lazily, his hand thrusting out and sending Alex sliding back several feet with no apparent effort. James could wield the Force?Since when?

“What did we do to her Winn?”

Winn?

“Kryptonite.”Her friend says.Her _friend!Her brother!_ Winn pulls out a green rock the size of her head and drops it on Max’s desk.“Its radiation is extremely poisonous to Kryptonians.Over exposure could kill her.”

Inaction could as well, Kara thinks as she watches Max’s droids all close in around them.Alex’s eyes dart between that threat and Diana and Kara, her blaster still aimed and ready while her sword is pointed at James.

“What the hell do you want?”

“From you?Nothing.”James sheathes his saber.“We don’t even want anything from Kara.We just need you out of the way.”

“We’ll stay out of your way then.You do your thing; take the ship if you want.No one else has to die today.”

“That’s where you’re wrong.You see, Kara’s family of idiots may have failed to take you down but that doesn’t mean we will.Our Master wants you out of the way.Permanently.”

“Winn.”Kara gasps, crawling from behind the console and trying to reason with her friend.Her back bows as pain races up her limbs and it takes her a second to find her voice.It feels like her blood is on fire.“Winn what are you doing?”

Winn ducks his head, unable or unwilling to meet her gaze when he mumbles his reply.

“He’s my bumper.”

James smiles triumphantly.

“Tie her up.”James orders the droids, his smile widening when they instantly move to obey him.Until Alex shoots two of them in the head.“Uh, uh, uh.” He warns, pulling his own blaster and aiming it at Kara.“We wouldn’t want there to be any accidents, now would we?”

“You need her alive.”Alex dismisses.

“Care to test that theory?”James shoots her without waiting for a response, a white hot lance of pain burrowing deep into Kara’s shoulder and making her collapse.The next thing she knows, she’s being dragged across the room by a droid, the collar of her shirt choking her around the neck.Her body convulses in a coughing fit when she’s dumped at Winn’s feet, but she pushes through it.She has to.She can’t lose track of Alex and Diana.She can’t.

Luckily, they haven’t gone far. Alex is now gagged and tied to a chair and Diana is kneeling on the floor with her hands bound behind her, James’ lightsaber held to her neck.The droids have their blasters lowered but they’re still hyper focused on their prisoners.

Her _friends_ had taken them all prisoner.

What was _happening_?

“Download everything off of the computer.”James orders Winn, “I want the location of every Rebel base in this pathetic galaxy.”Winn pulls out a tablet and seemingly begins to comply.

Kara rolls onto her back, her chest heaving as her body tries to regain the oxygen she is so rapidly losing.She’s not a stranger to the sensation of drowning; she’s felt it before on planets with red suns when she was training with Diana and Antiope.It takes some work, but she forces her mind to remember her exercises.It’s not perfect but it will buy her some time.

It can buy them some time.

The next time she opens her eyes, Diana’s penetrating stare is waiting for her.

_“You will fight him,”_ Diana orders, the language of the Amazons, gifted only to the women of her tribe, falling effortlessly from her lips. _“This is not where your story ends Kara Zor-El.”_

“What’s she saying?”James asks.Scowling when no one answers him, he grabs Winn’s shoulder and shakes him.“Translate it.What is she saying?”

_“You will do whatever is necessary to end this threat.You will not mourn me; promise.”_

_“Diana I—”_

_“Promise me padawan.You may cry when the war is over and not a moment sooner.”_

_“I can save you!I can—”_

_“I am so proud of the woman you have become.I have no doubt that you will succeed Kara.”_

_“No. Please—"_

But their conversation is cut short when James yanks Kara up by her neck, shaking her threateningly and making her throw up all along the front of her suit.

It only takes him a few seconds to realize he’d gone for the wrong girl.

Flipping onto her back, Diana completes what appears to be a complicated maneuver that brings her bound hands to the front of her body.Her lightsaber shoots across the room into her hands and she’s scored a hit to James’ face all before he can do much more than stagger backwards.The only thing that saves his life is that he throws Kara in front of him.

And it’d be nice to think that somehow Diana overpowered him; to believe that her mentor had saved her the way she had all through Kara’s youth.But that’s not what happens.

With her hands bound by the golden circlets, most of Diana’s abilities are hampered.And James, the snake that he is, is still clearly a skilled fighter.He has Diana back on her knee in no time, the red beam from his saber illuminating her face and making her glower even more fierce.

“What,” James huffs, “could you possibly have hoped to gain with that little act of stupidity?”

Diana smirks, “a distraction.General,” she calls, James’ eyes widening as he spins to see Maxwell Lord, chest covered in blood, hunched over his computer and flipping him off.“I trust you were able to ignite the spark?”

“And light the fucking fire Master Prince.”Max hisses, the screen behind him signaling that his transmission was received.“Long live the Reb—”

James’ lightsaber slices through Diana’s neck before he throws it _through_ Max’s head.They both fall with loud thuds, Kara choking on her shock and pushing herself as far away from her dead mentor’s body as she can get.Consequently, that puts her closer to Alex, a development that James does not seem to like.

“What in Mandalore’s name just happened?”He shouts, throwing his hands up at Winn and the droids.“Are we just going to let all of the prisoners do whatever they want?That guy was supposed to be dead!”

No one responds to him and he continues his tirade by yelling at Winn to figure out what it is Max had sent.

“It’s ok.”Alex murmurs, having worked the gag out of her mouth in all the chaos.Her hands are working against her bonds and, though she’s glaring at James, the usual threat is gone without her weapons.“It’s going to be ok.They need you alive.”

“You need to get out of here.”Kara whimpers, reaching out and grabbing at Alex’s calf, the closest thing to her.“You need to find a way to run— _please!”_ __

Rao she still feels so terrible.Whatever that rock was, it was working.

“It’s ok Kara; they need you ok?You’re strong and—"

“We don’t really.”James interrupts, the sound of boots accentuating his words as he finally remembers that he has prisoners to attend to. “But I’m sure you want her to have a quick death.”

Alex scowls, her lips pulling back along her teeth in a sneer.“She’s probably the most powerful Force user in the galaxy and you’re just going to _kill_ her?”

“Yes.Obviously.”

_“Why_?”

Alex isn’t asking about Kara.Stupidly, Kara had told both of her friends—former friends about the prophecy.Alex would know that they needed to eliminate Kara to ensure the Sith’s victory.

This is about why they’d betrayed them.

Dox.

She needs to get a message to Dox.

Carefully, she reaches for her watch, her whimpers no longer solely due to pain.No one pays attention to the weak.

“You mean aside from you all _pissing_ me off?!Ask your friend Maggie.”James orders.“I’m sure she gets it.”

“Maggie?What—”

“They threw her out just as surely as they did me.And for what?”James snarls, “because they think our love is unnatural?”

“Things are changing.”Alex tries, “the Senate—”

Kara’s thumb flicks along her suit, connecting her to the Coluan and allowing her to type out a distress message.It’s quick.No one notices.Not even Alex.

Now she just needs to wait.

“Voted to continue its baseless discrimination.”James asserts.“I was one of the most powerful Jedi agents at the rebellion’s command, but someone spotted me with a man one day and I was ostracized.Just like that.”

“Not everyone is like that.”Kara wheezes, trying to blink away the black spots creeping back into her vision.Whatever Alex had given her is wearing off. “You know not everyone is like that.”

“Maybe not,” James allows, “but I’d rather be on the side of people who will judge me based on my abilities rather than my personal choices.”

“ _Protect Kara._ ”Alex hisses, and for the first time Kara realizes she’s _scared._ “That’s what you made me promise Winn!You made me _swear_! ** _What the hell was it all for then_?!**”

There’s a brief pause, a moment where Kara can tilt her head back and look at Alex.As fuzzy as her brain is, she knows that she wants this woman safe.Her hands scramble blindly at Alex’s chair, her legs and somehow she manages to pull herself to her knees.Her chest burns, the pressure constricting around it making the tears in her eyes worsen.She can’t breathe and she can’t fight… she can barely _move,_ and Alex is in danger!Winn and James are hurting her—them.They’d killed…

No.

Not Alex.

Never Alex.

She won’t let it end like this.

Her fingers brush against Alex’s bound hands but even she has no illusions that she’ll be able to save Alex from this.

But Dox can.

She just needs a few more seconds.

Just a few seconds.

Her wrist vibrates just as Winn finally responds, James handing him a hefty gun that he studies like an interesting book cover. Kara’s never heard him sound like this before.

Malicious.

Heartless.

A killer.

“I just wanted to see her face.When I killed you.”

Alex’s jaw firms, eyes bright as she seems to accept what’s about to happen.Still, she’s calm when she turns to Kara, when she cranes her neck as far as she can just so she can press her lips to Kara’s sweaty forehead one last time.

“Don’t be afraid Kara.”She whispers fervently, mouth trembling against Kara’s skin.“You’ve got this.”

Kara wants to ask how.Wants to tell Alex to run again.She wants to go back to this morning when they’d been safe on the Hawk and none of this had even been real.

There’s the sound of a discharging weapon, Kara using all of her depleted energy to try to grab at Alex.She’s too slow; too weak.The air around them ripples and it feels like something punches her in the face as Alex, chair and all, is yanked out of her feeble grip to become airborne.

Kara is thrown back.

Alex is thrown back, back, back, flying out over the ledge, her body gone before Kara can even get her denial out.

No.

No.

Shaking, she turns back to her former friends, blinking hard, trying to wake herself up from this nightmare.

They’d just…

Alex was…

Barely able to roll onto her stomach, Kara throws up again, body heaving as the past few minutes catch up with her.

This wasn’t real.

This wasn’t _real._

Alex.

_No._

She wants to die.

She taps her forehead against the stone floor, wanting desperately to wake up.For this to end.For this to be _fake_.

It’s not.It’s not, it’s not, it’s _not_.

No…

She wants to _kill._

The desire turns into a need in seconds.Kara should have done this _years_ ago.She should have tracked them all down and gutted them like fish; destroyed everything they loved just as surely as they’d destroyed her.

She’d tried to be strong; to be brave.

Now she just wanted revenge.

Fuck being a hero.

James waves at her, nudging her with the toe of his boot while Winn drops her staff well out of reach.

“Goodbye Kara,” James says, walking towards an opposite window where a carrier shuttle is waiting.“So sorry to see you failed yet another family.”

Winn follows after him and Kara screams, her hands digging into the pavement beneath her and breaking the stone into dust despite the green rock that weakens her.

She’s just found the strength to rise to her feet, retrieving her staff with a touch of the Force, when Winn steps onto the shuttle and presses at his watch.

Several loud explosions rock the mountain beneath her, the ground shaking under feet and the crumbling ceiling coating her in debris.

Winn nods at her.

A goodbye.

Then the mountain collapses.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So... that happened.
> 
> This one my second culmination of complete angst and man. Yeah.
> 
> So James is a traitorous asshole and if we look back, I left a few breadcrumbs for you super sleuths. He and Winn were just always doing weird stuff ya know? Alex thought it was abuse and/or infidelity but nope. James was just planning their destruction. Comforting.
> 
> We'll obviously go deeper into this as the chapters progress but if you go back, you'll see that this isn't James and Winn's first offense.
> 
> I also don't know if I did do a good enough job setting up here for the non-Star Wars folk. I can't remember if I put in that "Ignite the spark/Light the Fire" are the call signs of the Resistance. We are the spark that will burn the first order down I believe is the exact phrasing. I don't remember is the Rebellion used that too but definitely got it from Poe and Leia. For all non fans, The Resistance is the group that fights Kylo Ren and the Rebellion are the ones that came before them in the Palpatine/Darth Vader era.
> 
> Back to the story: so Diana and Max have one last Rebel hoo-ra before they're killed. Good thing is that Max managed to get everything off to Lena and Co. Bad thing is they died.
> 
> James' anger has been a common theme throughout this story and so I'll touch base a little more. Star Wars hasn't had a gay character in the 3/4? decades since it's inception. To my knowledge, the earliest one was a 3 second kiss in the Rise of Skywalker. Lame. Obviously we know that these characters have to exist because we exist but they never show up in the stories why? And thus was born this story lol. No kidding it started as a kind of fuck you to Disney for not growing a set.
> 
> And now all the bricks they've been so carefully laying out have come tumbling down around them.
> 
> For anyone wondering, Kara was semi-aware of Kryptonite. Clark told her that there was an element out there that could weaken them but never where or what it was. He was trying to protect her. Aw. *Gag*. Anyway, that was her first run in with it and surprise surprise she started getting sick when James and Winn arrived at the compound.
> 
> What they did learn is that the energy tied to this device is that of the Force. You guys remember the Anti-Monitor's anti-matter machine in Crisis? Same idea actually except they don't need someone to run on a treadmill.
> 
> We've also got the dichotomy of the twins. In Kas' last vision we saw Kara as the fighter. Kaznia thought it was her but she wouldn't have been able to see herself through someone else' eyes. Hence it was Kara in the last one and her in this one but she didn't know because she wasn't aware she has a twin. She just thought she was special. So Kaznia we see struggled with her fighting, while Kara found them fun and exciting. Kaznia struggled with control and was afraid of being punished which isn't the healthiest environment for someone with her abilities. Mr. Lockwood was Ben's father but he wasn't a Jedi, just a teacher for the youngling's. Head canon is he was in training to be a Jedi but flunked out at the last step so they kept him on as the help instead.
> 
> Master Tano is Ahsoka Tano from Rebels and Clone Wars and no she wasn't killed because she's Ahsoka and I love her so much.
> 
> One last thing on this chapter is that M'gann gives Alex, Lucy, and Maggie Mandalorian armor. Or the softer suits I imagine can fit under clothes in my head. Just the chest plates though. Anyway, I found it weird that in the Mandalorian no one else had ever gotten their hands on that armor because it was sacred and what not but in every star wars game I ever remember playing, you can like buy it at the store. I compromised and so now Alex and Co. have some Mandalorian under armor tech. Yay.
> 
> And I think that's it. Lucy tried her hand at being in charge; Kara finally told Alex she didn't want to kill Kaz; they figured out the weapon and Max designed a shield for the rebel ships; and then they all died.
> 
> So yeah... see you next week?


	25. Ch 23: I've Been Bending Backwards til I'm Broke

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kara makes a decision.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So. That last one was a doozy huh? We're picking up almost exactly where we left off last time so enjoy friends.
> 
> Song: Ashes- Celine Dion and yes I do imagine Jeremy Jordan as the one doing the Deadpool dance.

Kara is panicking.

And not just from having survived a betrayal from her two best friends or the fact that the several voices that had been screaming during the explosions are now mysteriously absent.

Or even because it’s dark and she _hates_ the dark.

No.

It’s because she’s just had an _entire mountain dropped on her_ and is _supporting_ its weight on her back while that stupid green rock is still making her sick.She’s pretty sure she’s torn every muscle in her body and there is actual _blood_ oozing from gaping wounds that she has no way of attending to.She can count on one hand the number of times she’s actually bled, and it had never been this bad.

The way she’s sprawled in the ruins, her torso sandwiched between two slabs of solid rock, while her knees bear the weight is downright painful.Her hands are placed on the rock beneath her, trying to alleviate the pressure.

If she lets this rock go, she’s pretty sure more people will die.

She’s pretty sure she will die.

But if she stays here like this than she’s absolutely _certain_ that she willdie.

And she can’t die.

She needs to find Alex.

Her Zhao is—no.Alex isn’t dead.She can’t be!She was just _here_.They’d just been talking about _houses_ and bathtubs!

No, Kara thinks exhaling slowly, Alex isn’t dead, and she just needs to get this rock off of her back and get to her.

She can get to her.

She just has to get this stupid thing off of her first.

Emptying her mind like Diana taught her is much more difficult than she remembers it being.All around her are noises of distraction.Burst pipes gushing water, unstable foundation still crumbling sending echoes of falling stone through the pass, something’s hissing and she’s pretty sure that isn’t good.

And below it all is the heartbeats.She can barely hear them and she’s not sure if that’s because of the green stuff or… the other reason.Unbidden the memory of a lightsaber cutting through Diana’s neck fills her mind, making her choke.

No.

What was it Alex always said? _I’ve got this._ She can almost feel her Zhao there with her, see the encouraging look Alex would give her. _You’ve got this._

Grunting, she plants her feet and tries to push up with her back.Every single muscle in her body locks up, strained passed their limits as she forces herself to do the impossible.The rocky wall on top of her doesn’t even budge.

A second later, she regrets having even made the attempt.

Her foot slips and she has only a second to gasp before she’s falling forward, her head ricocheting off a piece of jagged stone in front of her.Her vision goes white for a second and she scrambles to brace her chest before she’s crushed to death. When she blinks her surroundings back into focus, a red haze covers them.

If she had thought she couldn’t breathe before…

Biting her lip to contain her sob, she gingerly resumes her previous position, panting as she tries to catch her breath. There isn’t a piece of her body that doesn’t feel dead right now, pushed far passed any worldly limitations.

She can barely see anything, her vision a blur of smog that just won’t _work._ Plus she’s pretty sure she’s bleeding from her forehead now, red droplets coat her eyelashes and well, that has to be blood.Which is weird because she can’t even feel where the injury is exactly _._ If Kara had to guess what this feels like, she’d equate it to someone going blind or deaf.Slowly losing access to their senses.

She doesn’t even feel the pain; she just feels tired.

Which probably means she’s dying. 

There’s a green light dancing along her veins, a sign of the Kryptonite poison she thinks.How long would that stuff take to kill her?

Using the faint light, she tries to focus her vision, tries to see what’s around her.Everything is a brown rock.Either a light tan that indicates it’s dry or a dark brown where water or blood has touched the surface.There’s broken wires and pipes from Max’s base, pieces of broken equipment on the ground but…

There is nothing that can help her.

No _one_ that can help her.

It kind of makes sense, she thinks with a rueful head shake, her breath leaving her in heaving gasps.How many times had she wondered if Rao hated her?If he thought her undeserving of happiness?

And now she’d failed everyone she ever loved; hadn’t seen the danger that she had _sheltered_ until it was far too late.

And Winn had… 

She’d failed Alex.

Her eyes sting with tears and she doesn’t even try to contain the sob.

_No; Rao please anyone but her,_ she pleads internally. _Please take anyone else but her._

Rao doesn’t answer.

“Alex!”Kara screams, choking and then spitting out the mouthful of blood that rises in her throat.“Alex _help_!I’m up here! _Please_!Alex!I need you!”

If there’s one thing she knows by now it’s that Alex wouldn’t just abandon her.If there’s any chance…

All she has is the soft dripping of water from a long spent pipe.And even straining her hearing to it’s limits, she can’t make out the heartbeat that has become so dear to her.

Which can only mean…

It means…

No.

She just needs time.Alex could have fallen a little further down and she was human.It would just take her some time to reach Kara.She just had to be patient.

Just a little while longer.

Her chest burns the longer she waits; palms stinging with the wet grit caught between the fissures in her skin.Wet clumps of hair cling to her face and she wonders what it is that is keeping her alive.

It’s not her will; there’s no world that exists where Kara would want to live without Alex.

And Alex still hasn’t come so…

Her Zhao has left this world, why can’t she?

Almost immediately the answer comes to her.

There can be no clearer sign that she has been abandoned by her God.That she will never reunite with her family in Rao’s light.

She’ll never see them or Alex again.

…

Which meant that all deals were off.There was no point in being good now.No point in being in the “Light”.There was no such thing; not for Kara.

She’d lived her life by trying not to bend the Force to her will; to not become a Sith.

She doesn’t much care anymore.

So long as she takes every last single one of them with her to hell.

When she reaches for her connection to the Force intending to direct it to her suit and cut off the blockers, she finds they’ve already been disabled.And then she remembers how Alex had pressed so insistently at her back.

She’d cut off her blockers; had tried to protect her even in her last moments.

Kara was going to kill every last one of them.

Planting her feet again, she takes several deep breaths before once again trying to move the slab from her back.This time however, she calls on the Force rather than her super strength.

It will drain her quicker, but she doesn’t think the Kryptonite has any effect on her Force abilities.

And Alex had said it herself.Kara was the most powerful Force user in the Galaxy.

All she needs to do now is move a piece of rock.

“C’mon Kara.”She huffs, lifting her wrists so that her palms rest near her ears and are pushing the rock up, rather than supporting her body.Without that, her legs and abdomen strain even more and she nearly sobs when she feels her joints creak. The pressure on her chest is almost unbearable, but she grits her teeth and calls on the hatred that has been steadily growing over the years. “C’mon!C’mon, c’mon, **_c’mon_**!”

Her yell echoes through the ruins, growing louder as she exerts more of her energy into pushing the rock up.

Diana had warned her during her training that using the Force in anger would almost always lead to the dark side; would lead to her following her twin down a path to destruction.

So Kara had trained, and she’d focused, and she’d suppressed.

She’d tried to be everything Diana had thought she could be; a hero in a war that had already been won by the enemy.

Now Diana was dead, and Kara was alone to make her own choice; saving the world was the least of her concerns right now.

Diana would be angry, would try to reason with her and remind her about the good that was still all around them.

Kara didn’t care.

Foolishly, her Master had allowed herself to be killed.Diana was a seasoned Jedi with years of training in detecting deception and she had let Winn and James into Kara’s life without question.For years she had allowed Kara to foster those relationships and then hadn’t even had the decency to win when those two idiots had attacked her.

Diana didn’t get a choice.

Kara got a choice.

Kassandra had made her choice years ago and had beaten Kara at every turn.If the dark side had been Kas’ key to victory than Kara needed to rethink her strategy.

The pure rage stewing in her belly helps.It provides a ready fuel source that she pulls from with alarming speed.

With a final pain filled scream, the slab shifts, lifting higher and higher until Kara can maneuver it off the edge of the mountain.

She spares a thought that she hopes no one was at the bottom; remembers that she’d been trying to save people…

Looking around her at the warzone that had once been a base teaming with life…It’s Yavin all over again and her arms ache just as much as they had back then when she’d had to dig all those graves.There’re just bodies, just blood and corpses strewn everywhere.

And Alex is…

Kara swallows and makes her decision.

She can’t go through this again; can’t stay here and search through all of this in the vain hope that she’ll find Alex’s _body._ And even if she did, would it be recognizable?That thought finalizes everything; fuels her determination to act rather than linger.

The Jedi will help these people, the same way they’d helped Kara.This wasn’t her responsibility; her sole purpose from here on out was making everyone who had had anything to do with Alex’s death, pay.

~*~

She passes a whole slew of people on her way out of the rubble, gaining strength the further away she gets. A lot of them searchers, even more of them survivors.

Good.

Kara wished these people no harm.

A few of the rescuers try to lead her to help, pointing at waiting healers and transports.Kara pushes them away with her Force powers.She can’t imagine what she must look like right now, how terrible her injuries must seem.

She doesn’t care.

She’s walking.

Barely, and only because she’s redirected the Force to facilitate her muscles, but she’s on her own feet and headed toward the Hawk.

Lucy can get her to the people responsible.

Lucy will help her.

…Except Lucy is dead.

And so is Cat.

And Dox.

Probably M’gann and Maggie too.

Kara collapses to her knees in front of the blackened hole that used to be the Ebon Hawk.All that’s left behind is scrap metal and fire.

She’d thought it had just been Diana and Alex.

That she might be able to find help.

But she won’t; everyone she knows is dead.

Murdered.

She doesn’t even comprehend that she’s fallen until her knees hit the dirt and by then it’s too late.Everything that she knew is gone.

An engine sounds overhead, the shifting winds alerting her to a squad of fleeing tie-fighters

How convenient.

~*~

When Alex wakes up, she’s choking on dust and wondering how the hell she’d survived that fall.Whatever Winn had hit her with had knocked her out, but not before she’d been able to see her demise in a three thousand foot drop.She remembers the way the wind had whipped her hair into her face, the way she couldn’t even get a scream out and then nothing.

She hadn’t even had time for a last thought.

Yet, instead of being splattered against pavement, she’s being carried rather quickly through the air.

…by a teenager.

A green teenager.With blonde hair.

“Put me down.”Alex commands, coughing and grabbing at her chest when the words hurt to speak.God, it feels like she’s broken more than a few ribs and, while she knows it’s not possible, she thinks she’s broken her brain too.“Gah, what the hell happened?”

“You were hit by a pressure gun with an output of approximately 50 psi.The close range and the force have damaged your internal body composition significantly.We must get you to medical assistance immediately.”

While that sounds great, there’s just one little flaw in this kid’s plan.

“Where’s Kara?”

The last time Alex had seen her, she’d been incapacitated; betrayed by her own friends and tortured with radiation.Oh, and that motherfucker James had shot her.

Talk about assholes.

“Kara Zor-El has enlisted me to aid you.Her orders were to save you.”

“And who the hell are you?”

“Apologies Commander.”The teenager doesn’t pause in his flight, because apparently, they are flying even though he doesn’t appear to be touching her, so she has no idea how _she_ is flying, but he does look down at her.“My name is Querl Dox, a 12th level intellect and refugee from the planet Calu.”

Yeah.

That hadn’t been what Alex had expected.

~*~

There are whispers among the cadets where Mikhail has been stationed.He tries to ignore them, tries to stick with his new team of adult oafs but it’s hard when the whispers are about Kaznia.When they’re saying that she’s coming back from Korriban and is on her way to help the Cisar begin his ascension.

Mikhail isn’t quite sure what that means exactly but he remembers Kaznia’s plans.

He remembers her goal to bring order to chaos and discipline to the neglected.For hours she would coach him through the planets and their many needs and shortcomings that she was going to fix.It had sounded too good to be true; a utopian society that would bow before her.

Mikhail hadn’t asked where the Cisar fit into that plan.He’d never actually met the man and although he was sure he was powerful, Mikhail couldn’t imagine anyone being more powerful than Kaznia.

Then again… he hadn’t been able to imagine a world where Kaznia would leave him behind either.

Mikhail is going through his paces training with the standard issue blaster that is given to Stormtroopers when Otis finds him.Otis looks from Mikhail to the target littered with holes and back again.To be fair, Mikhail is certain he would have been more impressed if Mikhail had manged to hit anything besides the arms of the dummy.

“Hey little man,” Otis calls, gesturing for the blaster, “give her here.Let me give you some pointers.”

A short explanation later and Otis himself has shot at the dummy a total of twenty times and missed a total of seventeen.It’s the more glaring sign of how low Mikhail has truly fallen.His former Master had never missed a shot.

Not one.

And now he was stuck learning from misfits and castaways.

“You’re not very good at this are you?”Mikhail asks, taking his blaster back and beginning to clean it.He’s had enough of training for one day.

“Eh, it’s different when your own the battlefield.There are times when you’ll be happy to have missed.One time I almost shot Jedi.”

Mikhail rolls his eyes.“That’s the point Otis.”

“Not when a Jedi can reflect that bolt back at your face it’s not.It’s all fun and games until someone gets hurt.”

“How did you even get a job here?Why do they trust you?”

“Supply and demand my friend.”Otis presses the button on the training console and resets the dummy, following behind Mikhail when he exits into the hallway.“The Sith need a lot of expendable soldiers but they’re a bit hard to come by when they keep getting them all killed.”

“Any soldier who dies in battle is weak.”

“Are they?From what I hear you’re Lord Kaznia came pretty damn close on Yavin.”

Feeling a surge of anger flare inside of his chest, Mikhail growls and thrusts his hand straight at Otis.Who catches it and bends it back by the wrist, promptly dispelling any Force powers that Mikhail would have employed.

“Are you crazy using that crap around here?”Otis hisses, looking agitatedly down the empty corridors.“I told you when you got here, you’re not a Sith anymore you’re just a kid.”

“I am _not._ I am Lord Kaznia’s apprentice and I _will_ kill the Rebels!”

Otis lets him go and Mikhail fights the urge to shake out his wrist.

“Oh yeah your majesty?You gonna kill all of them?Even the babies?”

Well… “Yes.”

“That’s cold Mikhail.Let me ask you something: what did the rebels ever do to you?”

“I… they… they don’t help the people.They make things worse!”

“Worse for who exactly?The Sith?The guys that go around killing people?”

“ _You’re_ a Sith!”

“By necessity kid.Not choice.”Otis bends a little, forcing Mikhail back into the wall to avoid his repulsive breath and bulk.“You need to learn something real quick Mikhail cause we’re hurtling towards a point where you’re not gonna be able to unlearn what you know.There are no good sides and bad sides; there are only people who do good things and people who do bad things.And each side has a little of each.This shit isn’t black and white.”

“The… the rebels have been… they’ve been in control.”Mikhail flounders, trying to remember everything Kaznia had taught him; everything he’d read in those books.“Nothing got better.I lived on garbage scraps and rats.They didn’t help anyone.”

“I grew up on a Sith controlled planet just like you.”Otis says, crouching now into a more relaxed squat.“Did you know that?That Taris was under the Sith’s control?”

“I…”

“And did you know that the Sith take kids as young as five from there homes for their storm trooper program?”

“They… they’re helping.”

“Helping _who?_ ”Mikhail doesn’t answer, he isn’t sure how.All he can do is stand there like a fool until Otis finally nods and sighs.“You wanna make a better world and that’s great Little Man but you’re young enough to be able to do it without hurting anyone.Don’t choose a side just because your hero is on it; choose for yourself.Even if it means you choose a path no one’s ever seen before, got it?”

Mikhail nods.Not out of agreeance but because he isn’t sure what else to do.

Taris _had_ been Sith occupied.

That sort of order… it wasn’t what he’d imagined it would be.

But Kaznia would be different right?She’d said her galaxy would be different.

“Come on little man,” Otis grips his shoulder and steers him towards the mess hall.“Let’s grab some dinner before we hit the hay huh?” 

~*~

Dox gets her to the Ebon Hawk relatively unscathed but Alex is disappointed to see her ship is nowhere near ready to be airborne.

It looks like it just went one on one with a few dozen blaster turrets.

When she sees the smoking remains of the AT-AT the scene makes a lot more sense.

_Shit_.

Maggie swings out of the cockpit onto the nose of the Hawk.She looks desperate, her chest heaving like even that small maneuver had taxed her.Even from down here Alex can see her feet shifting like she’s ready to take off at a moment’s notice, the glass that had shattered in the attack crunching noisily under her boots, shifting and catching sparks of dying sunlight as it falls to the ground.

“Lucy’s hurt bad.”Maggie calls out, eyes darting between Alex’s limping form and the interior of the Hawk like she’s not sure what’s worse. “They came out of nowhere.”

Dox sets her down and it takes everything in Alex not to fall down and cry.Fuck that hurt.

Taking measured breaths, she makes her way up through the hangar into the ship, planting one foot in front of the other.The interior looks even worse than the exterior.Sparks fly everywhere, the hull riddled with blaster fire and bullet holes.It smells like burnt rubber, the acrid lingering smoke tempting Alex’s need to sneeze.

She quickly shoves a hand under her nostrils.

Sneezing would be a _terrible_ idea right now.Wrapping one arm around her middle, she staggers into the main area, Dox walking beside her and taking in the destruction with a keen eye.

Dox.

12th level intellect.

“Dox, do you still have all of your… knowledge?”

The small boy pulls himself up, puffing out his chest arrogantly.“Yes, of course.”

“Good.Fix the ship.”She pats him on the chest, ignoring the dropped mouth and incredulous eyes as she teeters away.“Divert power to the medical facilities first.”

She uses the walls for balance, pushing off of them and avoiding the more hazardous paths.By the time she gets to the med bay, the backup power is back online and the dull lights from the auxiliary system blink along the floor path.

Maggie is waiting for her, quickly sliding a shoulder under Alex’s arm when she sees her up close.

“I was keeping an eye out for M’gann.”She says, “then I saw the tie-fighters headed straight for the Hawk.I wasn’t fast enough.”

“You couldn’t have been.”Alex says grunting as Maggie assists her over a large floorboard that’s sticking up.“James and Winn are the ones who planned the attack.”

Which appallingly makes a lot of sense.

Kara had taken her suit off to heal Alex, but she hadn’t been without a backup system to hide her connection to the Force.She’d proved that the night they’d had sex.There was a chance that Kassandra had tracked her through the “bond” they allegedly shared but on Yavin, Kassandra hadn’t even been phased by Kara.Astra had stopped to talk to her.

Kassandra had just tried to mow her down.

Kara had said Kassandra was after her, but maybe that was relative.Maybe Kassandra had just gone after whoever her Master had ordered her to.

For twins that had been as close as Kara had claimed, for Kassandra to just turn to the Sith… for her to go after her own sister without prejudice…

“ _What?!”_

“Fucking hell Cap.You were supposed to come back with better news than _that_.”Lucy groans, her hands wrapped tightly around a shard of glass the length of Alex’s arm.It’s a piece of the windshield.Embedded from Lucy’s leg through to her hip.

Fuck.

“Did she lose consciousness?”Alex asks, pulling away from Maggie and grabbing the first tablet she can find that will power on.The screen is cracked and flickers when she accesses it but it’s all she has.

“I don’t know.I got here too late.”Maggie passes Alex and grabs Lucy’s hand.“I called a warning and Lucy got the Hawk airborne, but it wasn’t enough, and I was on the ground so…”

“Where’s Cat?”

“I don’t know.”

“M’gann?”

Maggie shakes her head, her shoulders lifting in a helpless shrug.“I’ve only seen Lucy so far and then I didn’t want to leave her.Not like this.”

“She didn’t want me to die alone she means.”Lucy grumbles, eyes sliding closed.“Please get this shit outta me.”

“You’re not dying.”Alex mutters, eyes squinting at the screen.

The glass looks like it missed almost every major artery, so Lucy is extremely lucky in that she won’t be bleeding out anytime soon, but it was still a close thing and it _had_ penetrated bone.Her hip is a complete mess; one that will require several surgeries and medical knowledge beyond what Alex has to actually repair.She can get the glass out and patch the wound enough that it will hold, but with no actual equipment, it will also be painful.

“Yeah you wuss.”Maggie goads, leaning close to Lucy so she can stroke her hair back from her face.“Stop whining already.”

“Ass.Hole.”

As much as she hates to say this to her, Lucy needs to hear it.They’re simply not equipped to handle this right now.

“We need to find Cat and M’gann.”

Maggie looks at her as if she’s gone crazy; given the metal taste that’s started to flow into her mouth Alex kind of thinks she has.

But they don’t have time for this.

Injuries can wait.

“I will be happy to join your search party Cap.Just as soon as you get me patched up.”

“No, Maggie and I will find the others first.”

“Alex.”Now Maggie both looks and sounds like she wants to throttle her.

“Cap, I get you wanting to make sure everyone is ok but I’m kind of going to need to pull rank.I knew you longer and technically I’m in charge.I’m saying please here.”

“Luce…”Setting down the tablet, Alex finally looks at her friends.“I can’t pull that out of you yet because I need people to hold you down.Our equipment is shot so I need to do it with my hands and if you’re not completely still I’ll kill you.”

Cheeks paling, Lucy can only nod shakily.“Oh.”

“We can’t just leave her here.”Maggie argues.

“Yeah.”Lucy agrees, actually tearing up and making Alex’s chest ache with inadequacy.Lucy was under her command.She’d failed her.“I’ll hold still I promise.”

Alex shakes her head; slowly because it feels like it might explode on her at any moment but leans over to squeeze Lucy’s arm.

“This isn’t about you holding still Lucy; you’re strong, I know that.This is different.”

“But—”

“That glass didn’t just hit flesh, it hit bone.When I yank, your body _will_ move.It’s not a question of _if,_ it’s a matter of how much.”

“Oh.”Lucy blinks but the tears still fall.“Oh.”

“You are _not_ dying here Lucy.I’m going to go find our crew and if not them then maybe some locals.Maggie and I will be back before you know it.”Alex squeezes her arm again, before forcing her tired body upright and looking at Maggie.“Dox is here; I’ll tell him to keep an eye on her.”

If Alex had to guess, she’d say that Maggie is about five seconds from murdering her.She’d always been a little hot headed like that.Maggie’s eyes are so narrow Alex questions if she can even see out of them anymore, and her cheeks, red in anger, are pulled back tight with the scowl on her face.

“ _Who_?”

~*~

In the end Alex doesn’t wind up going anywhere.She’d given it a valiant effort but after two steps, she’d almost face planted into the floor.Maggie had caught her around the middle and that had just been another explosion of pain.

Alex had blacked out.

When she’d come to, she found herself on the cot opposite Lucy’s.Who was glaring at her.

Hard.

“Seriously Cap?”

“I’m fine.”Alex groans, her hand gingerly moving to her injured ribs.Maggie had taken off her armor, the Mandalorian gear that had probably saved her life, and somehow its absence made Alex feel _worse._ She takes carefully measured breaths and is relieved to feel her chest expand and contract normally, albeit painfully.Hopefully that meant her lung wasn’t punctured.“We don’t have time for this.Where is Maggie?”

“She ordered Dox to search for Cat on the ship.She’s gone off to find M’gann.”Alex grunts and Lucy continues.“I get that you say we don’t have time, but you do realize we don’t have a ship, right?And as hell bent as I am to take the Sith down, I’m also hell bent on _living_.We can’t go after them like this.”

“I’m not going after them,” Alex argues, “I’m going after Kara.”

There’s a brief pause, the silence crackling with a tension that makes Alex tilt her head towards Lucy.Who looks beyond pissed.

At least she wasn’t scared anymore.

“Explain.”

“Winn and James betrayed us.James is a Force user, he’s the one who sold us out on Yavin.”

“He got hurt on Yavin.”

“Collateral damage.I hardly think one Sith Lord cares what happens to another.”Alex shakes her head, “think about it.The second he shows up, Kara’s league of Gold mean show up with a death wish?”

“Shit.”

“He said that the Council kicked him out because he was gay.”

“That’s bullshit.”

“Is it?Look at Maggie.”

“They didn’t kick her out,” Lucy says, her body nearly vibrating with agitation.“They just never promoted her.”

“And Vasquez?”

“Don’t tell me you’re agreeing—”

“Keep pressure!”Alex yells when Lucy looks like she’ll start arguing more than compressing, the glass shifting with her movements.“Do not move Lucy.I’m serious.”

Lucy pales, swallowing hard and nodding.“Sorry… I just…”

“I know.But you and I both know that the Council is just as vulnerable to politics as the Senate.As much as things should change, they’ll drag their feet to gain alliances.”

“Shit.”

“Either way, it’s not an excuse for James’ actions.Or Winn’s.They were using us for Kara, I’m sure of it.”

“What do they want with her?”

“Before I tell you that, you should know that Max and Diana are dead.”

“ _What?!”_

“Yeah.They acted before I could even—They had a rock, James called it Kryptonite.It hurt Kara—bad.Apparently it’s poisonous to her species.”

“Wait, backup.”Lucy holds up one blood stained hand, quickly replacing it when Alex glares at her.“Diana is dead?”

“Yes.”

“She’s—Alex she’s a Jedi… Like a really strong Jedi.”

“James took her by surprise.”Alex groans and slowly pushes her body up.If she’s going to be here, the least she can do is figure out what’s wrong with her.Luckily, it seems like Dox has restored functionality to the medbay so it’s a lot easier to pull up the main systems and open a diagnostic panel for herself. “He used a Force throw on his lightsaber, took their heads.Winn had the rock and Kara could barely move.When I tried to make a go at it, James shot Kara.”

“What?!”

“Yes.”Alex concludes, even though Lucy’s exclamations are getting a little annoying.“But they wouldn’t kill her.They can’t; they need her for their weapon.”She holds up a hand to forestall Lucy’s questions.“Kara is one of, if not _the_ most powerful Force user in the galaxy.The prophecy predicted that.The Sith need “fuel” for their reign, right?That was in the prophecy too?”

“Yeah…?”

“Thing is, Kassandra is the perfect weapon.She’s the evil version of Kara and no Master would want to give that up.So what do you do?”

“Shit.”Lucy swears, her head thumping back against her pillow.“You use the spare.Alex, we need to find her.”

“I put a tracker on her.That’s not what I’m worried about.If Kara goes to the dark side—”

“She wouldn’t.Kara—”

“Probably thinks I’m dead.”Alex interrupts, squinting at the screen and examining the broken bones in her body.That’s easy enough.The internal bleeding will have to wait.She grabs three nanite injections, shooting herself with the tiny robots one by one, and then watching them wrap around the jagged bone and fuse them back together.Easy peasy.She’s lucky she doesn’t black out again.“ _Oh fucking mother of kwath!_ ”She gasps, clenching her eyes shut and forcing herself to continue.If anything happens to her, she needs to know that Lucy and Maggie will have enough intel to put an end to all of this.“When… when they threatened to hurt… her more, I surrendered, and that ass Winn shot me off… the mountain.”

“He _what?”_

Alex braces her hands against the countertop in front of her, fighting back a wave of dizziness and nausea.She’ll live but damn was she going to hate it.

Fucking Sith.

“I’m really gonna need you to stop being surprised Lucy.My head hurts enough as it is.”

“How are you alive if you got shot off a mountain?”

“Because,” Alex swipes the back of her hand over her sweaty forehead, counting to 5 and then trying to stand upright.God that fucking sucks.But she’s not passing out anymore, so she counts it as a small victory.“Kara somehow got a message out to Dox and he jettisoned out of the Cradle and caught me.Something about a forcefield.”

“That’s why you look like death.”

“She was significantly injured.”A new voice states, Dox walking in with a rumpled but otherwise fine Cat in tow.“I recommended immediate medical treatment, but she did not heed my advice.”

“Yeah,” Lucy drawls, wide eyed and disbelieving.“She’s a real hard head like that.”

“Dox,” Alex asks, “could you go back to the base you got me from?”The teen looks mildly annoyed, his lip pulling to the side as if he’s tired of Alex doubting his abilities and refuses to respond to such an inane question.“I’m asking because I need you to go see what happened to Kara.Scan the ruins, bring back anything you can find that will help us.”

Nodding resolutely, Dox kicks his heels together and marches back the way he’d come.

Alex sighs, one thing down.

Harder thing coming.

“They’ve got Kara.”Alex says to Cat, figuring it’s best to rip this off like a band-aid.Cat looks like she’s in shock, the nice knee length dress she had been wearing, now sporting a slit down the side.Her skin and clothes are smudged in dirt but there’s no blood.Was Cat a Kryptonian?“Why aren’t you more hurt?”

“Apologies.”Cat remarks dryly, her words snarky but her tone nothing but breathless air.“My adopted son gave me an energy shield.”Looking around at the damage the Hawk had sustained, Cat swallows, her throat visibly working as she takes in the damage.“He said it would protect me from almost anything.”

“Yeah well he’s a traitor.”Lucy snarls, once again slumping back against the mattress.She looks even paler than before and Alex is starting to worry.“He tortured Kara and shot Alex off a mountain.”

Cat blinked.“That’s impossible.Winslow is many things but he’s not a bad person.And he would never hurt Kara.”She tilts her head at Alex.“Unfortunately—”

“Yeah I get it.I’m not part of the super family; the thing is he _did_ hurt Kara and now he and James are probably on their way to deliver her up to their Lord right now.”

“You said Winn shot you?”Cat asks, voice still containing that breathy quality when she looks away and rubs an agitated hand over her forehead.

“Yes.We don’t have time for—”

“ _Winn_ shot you?”

“ _Yes_.Why—oh.”

Winn shot her.

_Winn_ had shot her.

He had been close to her but still… Alex had seen him shoot.

Well… 

That made her feel a lot better.

“What?”Lucy asks, leaning back up as far as her injury would allow.“What’d I miss?”

~*~

“What do you mean Winn is innocent?”Maggie asks, tying the straps as tightly as she can around Lucy’s hips.“Before I left, we were going to kill him and now he’s a good guy again?”

“Possible good guy.”Alex dismisses, tying Lucy down from the other end.Dox, returned from a semi-successful recon mission, is standing over Lucy, his feet straddling her waist as he contemplates the injury before him.“Winn can’t shoot to save my life.Literally.But somehow, he managed to hit me dead center without even aiming.He just pulled the gun and squeezed the trigger.Very suspicious.”

After having spoken to Cat, Alex had sent her down to man the comm’s; the woman had been useful in getting Alex’s thinking back on track, but they’d need her to do a bit more than that now.Plus, she was clearly in shock and thus completely useless doing anything else.It wasn’t the safest job, but if the Rebels contacted them, Alex needed to be ready.

“While that’s true, it doesn’t explain _why_ he would shoot you.I mean are we thinking shape shifter?”

Alex looks towards the far corner of the room where M’gann has curled herself into a tiny ball.James must have paid a mercenary with psychic abilities to invade M’gann’s mind and wage an attack of some sort.She’d been trapped for hours.

Maggie had found her in the basement of a Swoop Gang’s hideout.Alex hadn’t asked about the blood on her clothes.

As soon as she had gotten back, the Martian had caved in on herself and refused to move.Which was also very unhelpful.

“It’s possible.”Alex says.“J’onn said that when Martians assume the form of another person, they have to make sure that the person their impersonating doesn’t show up.”

Alex doesn’t say that the feud between the White Martians and Green Martians might have something to do with this.That if a White Martian was involved it would explain both Winn and M’gann.

That would be too depressing since they don’t have the manpower to go after four Sith Lords _and_ a White Martian with a grudge.

“So they probably have the real Winn too.”

Alex grunts her acknowledgement, taking a second to study Lucy’s unconscious face before nodding up at Dox.“Ready?”

“Indubitably.”

Luckily, a cool trait of Coluans was their ability to think of the best solution to the problem.Like how to pull a glass shard out of human bone without killing said human when you had very limited resources.Lucy had flown too far from the base for them to be near help and M’gann and Cat were both unfortunately useless.Which left them with this rather dismal team.

“Right.”Alex lays her arms on either side of the shard across Lucy’s body, Maggie’s hands gripping her forearms as they brace off of each other.“Ok, we have one shot at this.”

“Chance of success is 86.7 percent.”

“Yeah.”Maggie mutters, “no pressure.”

Alex starts the count.“On three.One, two—"

With a quick precise movement, Dox has completely pulled the shard out of Lucy, smiling in triumph when her body only gives the most minimal of resistance.

Shitty situation number fuck all: done.

Unfortunately for Lucy, her injuries are nowhere near as simple as Alex’s had been.They’re going to have to put her in a regen pod which is not something Alex had informed her of prior to knocking her out.Lucy would want to be part of the final showdown.Alex wanted her to live.

Priorities.

The only regen pod on the Hawk had been damaged in the attack, the glass cracked and unsuitable for the liquid that would need to fill it to work.Enter Dox; he hadn’t fixed it per se, but he had been able to create a compound that would seal the cracks until help arrived.

Lucy had also been able to send out a distress call before getting impaled. Dox had fixed their comms enough that Alex had been able to confirm with Lena that a support team was in-route.

Now, she thinks as she watches Maggie and Dox carefully place Lucy in the pod and activate the healing chamber, all they have to do is wait.

“Dox,” she requests when they’re done.“Can you scan this planet for any ships for hire or, if none are available, the fastest ship I can steal?”

The Coluan nods as sets off towards the main computers where the holodeck used to be.Fucking Sith.

Maggie throws something at her, the soft object bouncing off her head and plopping to the floor.When Alex looks, she sees that it’s a roll of gauze.Unnecessary, all of Alex’s injuries are internal.

“Alex,” Maggie prompts, “what’re you planning?”

“You all need to wait here.Lena sent backup and they’ll be able to get you to a base.You can regroup and—”

“Are you trying to bench me Alex?After telling me that your girlfriend is gonna blow up the galaxy?”

“She’s not—Kara is being manipulated.And I have a very small window in which to find her and save her before we all die.”

“And so your plan is to steal a ship.And then what?You’re gonna take on the entire Sith fleet by yourself?”

Alex shakes her head, building her plan on the fly and trying to work out the kinks.“I won’t have to if I get some Sith armor and sneak in.I just need to find a guard and—”

“Alex.”

“I just need to get in undetected and then I can get her.I can bring her back.”

“You realize that even if they do have her, they’re not just going to let you walk in.Sith or not, you’re going to need papers.”

“Yeah.”Alex mutters, sinking down onto a bench and trying not to throw up.Her ribs ache something fierce but she can’t let that distract her now.Maggie is right, she’ll need a slicer.“Dox can—”

“Alex stop.I get it ok; you love her but you’re not going to save her in your condition.You can barely stand.”

“I can.”Alex mumbles, passing a hand over her face.A few stimulants and she’ll be back on her feet.She’ll only need a few hours.Just a few hours.

“And what if she’s already hooked up to the battery?”Maggie reasons, crouching down in front of Alex and grabbing her shoulders.“Alex if she’s already in there we need to—we need to figure out how to destroy it.”

With her vision blurring, Alex can barely make out Maggie’s face, but she still looks up at her, sure she had heard her wrong. 

“What?”

“We were going to destroy the battery remember?Kara _is_ the battery.”

“I know.”

“Alex…”And Maggie may look sorry, but Alex doesn’t care.Since when did they trade lives— _innocent lives?_

“We’re not—No!What—No!We’re not even talking about this.”

“We need to end the war!Those are our orders!So we can go home—”

“ **Everyone goes home!** ” She shouts, shoving Maggie away from her and uncaring when her friend falls back.“That’s the oath we swore right?!?!That we all go home! _Kara_ goes home!”Alex gasps, the pressure in her ribs stealing her breath.

She still stands, wobbly as she is, because she needs to make sure Maggie hears her.That she understands. After their first battle where Alex had held command… they’d all sworn—her Maggie, and Lucy—that they would never go through that again.They couldn’t protect hundreds of soldiers, but they could protect each other.They _had_ protected each other.And Kara was a part of that now and suddenly Maggie wanted to cut her out? 

No.

Alex scowls, face contorting as she stares Maggie down.“You have the gall to speak to me about this as if you don’t have people you love—that you call family—that you would put _everything_ on the line for!Who you’d die for!If I was in there—”

“Then you’d want me to do it!”Maggie rises to her feet as well, her smaller stature doing nothing to diminish her anger.The red flush on her cheeks high and pronounced and completely agitating.“If it were you, if the Sith were using you as a fucking battery, you’d _tell_ me to pull the cord!”

Which is true.

Very true.

But…

“Kara isn’t me.”Alex implores, thinking of the bright eyed woman who had thrown her world upside down.Energy spent, she slumps back against the bench, her breathing more arduous and only proving Maggie’s point of incompetence.“She’s not a soldier.She told us from the beginning that she doesn’t want to choose a side; all she wanted—all she ever wanted was for this to be over.”

Maggie nods slowly, her face softening.“Then end it Danvers.Or no one will go home.”

~*~

Winn shoots up, blinking rapidly as he tries to figure out where he is.His first thought is that he’s in the middle of one of those waking dreams that feel really real but are really not.But it kind of looks like this video game he had played one time and then Kara had—

Kara.

His head pulses, a pressure against his skull making him groan and clutch at his face.God, what party had they gone to?Why would Alex even let them go to a party?

…

Oh no, Alex was going to kill him for going to a party!His eyes widen, hands dropping slowly in fear.Alex was going to kill him for taking _Kara_ to a party!

Swinging his legs off the bunk he’s been laid out on, he finds his boots and carefully slips them on.No one else is in the room with him for which he’s grateful.James is an open minded sort but even he would have issues with seeing Winn in bed with someone else.

Not good, not good, not good.

He needs to find Kara and then they need to get back before anyone notices they’ve been gone.Looking around at the clearly expensive décor and the floor to ceiling windows, Winn tries valiantly to focus on the task at hand rather than on what kind of tech makes the walls glow.

Just where the hell are they anyway?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> From the top:
> 
> I basically took all of Kara's super "in danger" scenes and made this first set. So like when Psy made her think Mon-El was dead, when she was trying to stop the ship with Alex on it, when she was catching the plane with Alex on it, when she was desperately listening for Alex's heartbeat, etc. etc. etc. Made for some emotional research since I rewatched a bunch of those to get a good idea of her reaction here.
> 
> On that note, when she went looking for the Hawk, she saw a burnt out hole because that's where the Tie Fighters and the AT-AT had attacked. Not because the Hawk went down there. Lucy tried to fly it away and we see she was unsuccessful but that also makes Kara think that they're all dead. Because they weren't where she left them. Likewise, when she was listening for Alex, Dox had already caught her and was rushing her to medical help so of course she couldn't hear her. Also Kryptonite.
> 
> Dox has a body! So the first time I learned about Brainiac 5's existence he was a teenager. I don't remember where exactly I first saw him, I kind of wanna say it was a Young Justice comic but I'm not sure. I vaguely remember Bart (Kid Flash) as part of it too I think. Anyway, the point is that that's the Brainy I originally thought was cool so we bring him back. I like show Brainy too though, I just like the kid Brainy better because I like snooty kids who can back up what they put down. I.E, Kid Batman. Regular Batman is eh, but Kid batman? Oh yeah.
> 
> Mikhail is getting a rude awakening as we go. It's easy to think your life is better when you're the apprentice to the fluffy demon rabbit but when you're just another nobody it's not nearly as shiny. Poor kid is in for a culture shock and without Kaznia around, it won't be a good time. BTW, where is Kaznia? What happened with the Witches and Astra?
> 
> Anyway, Lucy got impaled and Alex explained everything to her and Maggie. Then Cat showed up and debunked the whole Winn conspiracy so she had to start over. How exhausting.
> 
> Lucy's been put on ice, a fact that I'm sure she will not pleased about; Maggie is basically trying to prepare Alex to kill Kara; Kara is AWOL; And Alex is probably bleeding out internally. We're really having fun now huh?
> 
> Also, kudos to all you who had faith in our good boy Winn. He'd never hurt Kara; they're besties. But James Olsen is a bitch. (Anyone else forced into watching Tiger King? What a mind fuck. 0.0)
> 
> Lastly, per the song: you know how people say phoenixes are born from the ashes of fire and they're supposed to be this symbol of hope and love and Dumbledore?
> 
> Yeah... I don't think that's the case this time.


	26. Ch. 24: Are you coming to the tree?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kaznia talks to Astra; Alex and co take stock; Kara falls deeper.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My sleep schedule is completely fucked at this point so I slept all day yesterday. It's like I'm in one of those space contraptions that spin you all around and you have no control over it and just randomly pass out? Yeah. That's my sleep schedule right now. It's terrible.
> 
> But I'm up now so I'll post this. Also, one of the oneshots I was working on exploded and that's why no word from me last week. It's just over 10k right now and I'm about 70% through so we'll see about an update this week. But it's cute and kinda fresh so I think you'll like it.
> 
> On the matter of this story: I think we've got one more "slow" chapter left before it's balls to the wall so enjoy it while it lasts. After this it's an acid trip. I mean, I've never tried acid but I imagine it's very violent? Maybe? 
> 
> Song: Hanging Tree- Jennifer Lawrence
> 
> I wanted the full lyric in there for full effect so that's why you get the header as well :)

####  "Where I Told You to Run (so we'd both be free)" 

“Welcome back Lord Kaznia,” Astra says, nodding as Kaznia steps down the gangplank onto her ship.“We awaited your return as instructed.”

Boots echoing off the metal, Kaznia doesn’t even stop to greet her second as she continues on and heads towards her quarters.“That would hardly be a difficult thing to do considering I was only gone for a few hours.”

“A few weeks,” Astra counters, falling in beside her.“Time… passes differently with the witches.It’s unpredictable.”

The news is unsettling but Kaznia doesn’t let it show, guards her expression the same way she’s been doing all her life.The way she’s had to remind herself to do since that battle on Yavin when something had broken in her head.There’s a new connection, a thread of some sort that was created on Taris and has only grown stronger.

Astra had told her not to lose herself and Kaznia had devoted all of her significant power to doing just that.Whatever had been broken, she’d allowed it to stay as such.Allowed that bond to continue to thrive while she’d helped the witches pinpoint the rebels they were so desperately looking for.

The _Alex_ in her mind.

Some part of her, the part of her that’s been growing louder, protested the action.Alex was an unknown but there were… feelings.

Kaznia wasn’t used to feelings.

“Give a status report.”She commands, listening raptly as Astra begins to rattle off the state of their troops and the direction the Cisar has sent out to her squadron.

“We’re to rendezvous in the Odessan system.”

Humming, Kaznia steps briskly into her quarters, her mind awhirl as the door slides shut behind them.The moment it does, she uses her abilities to create a vacuum around them.The air supply won’t matter to either of them given their genetic capabilities, but it will prevent airflow outside of the bubble.A suitable privacy technique since that’s how sound waves travel.

“Where is Mikhail?”

“The Storm Trooper training facilities on Sullust.I left him in the care of Otis Graves.”

Kaznia glares at her.“He is an imbecile.”

“Yes,” Astra readily concedes with an easy shrug.“But that imbecile has a code.Mikhail will be safe with him until we are able to retrieve him.”

“And when will that be?”It probably should mean something, that she’s this concerned with the health and well-being of her protégé but all Kaznia can think of is the open trust Mikhail had placed in her.The stupid habit he had of waiting up for her before retiring into his own bed.The child was probably sleep-deprived by now if he’d followed that habit.

It’s yet another side effect of this break.

An unfortunate one.

It makes Kaznia wonder if she wouldn’t have been better off falling into the witches’ spell.

“That depends on you My Lord.Are you yourself?”

It brings up another question.“What did you do to me?”

“I did nothing.”

“You told me not to lose myself. In the caves.”

“I did.”Astra’s face gives nothing away and her indifference relights the fire in Kaznia’s belly.This she was used to; anger and frustration were old friends of hers.

“I want an explanation Admiral.Now.”

“Did you lose yourself?Little Star.” 

_Kas._

_That’s for bullying my sister._

_I’m with you Little Star._

“Where did you hear that name?”

Astra raises one brow, eyeing Kaznia carefully.“Around.Why does it bother you?”

Clearly, Astra wasn’t going to give her anything until Kaznia gave _her_ something.A stupid conundrum but one that left Kaznia with a distinct disadvantage.Astra had the knowledge that she wanted and Kaznia had… anger and frustration.She tamps down both, calls on her training and swallows her pride.

“Something happened on Taris.”She admits.“My dreams… I don’t think they’re just dreams.I think they’re—”

“Visions.”Astra nods, her posture relaxing.“You forged a connection through the Force.”

“To whom?”

“My guess is the Jedi we encountered on Yavin.Did you recognize her?”

_That’s enough Kas!_

“She looked like me.”Kaznia grimaces, her arms suddenly feel useless and heavy and she fumbles between placing them on her hips or dropping them at her sides.They feel loose, uncoordinated.“Who was she?”

“Her name is Kara Zor-El.She’s a Kryptonian who was raised at the Jedi Temple.”

“Why does she look like me?”

There’s a tense pause, a silence that stretches as Astra seems to look for something in her face.Kaznia isn’t sure what and she isn’t sure how to respond.She’s not used to this; to being open.A part of her that feels foreign now tells her that she can simply torture the information out of Astra, wield the Force to make her tell her everything she knows.

That part of her feels like a monster.

The other part of her, the part that’s crawling out of the prison her mind had been tells her that Astra is a friend.That she’s always been a friend; even before she’d been selected for Kaznia’s command it had been Astra only who’d even tried to look out for her.When Kaznia had begun her training with the witches… she doesn’t _remember_ anything before that.But she does remember rain.

She remembers a yellow light.

Remembers Astra running, carrying her down a hallway.

She’d always assumed she’d been injured during her training.That Astra had taken pity on the child she had been for being so weak.It had always been in her mind that Astra had saved her from something as a novice and Kaznia had tried to pay that back by allowing the Admiral a bit more breathing room than she’d allowed anyone else.

Astra had been a good second, had followed her command to the letter.Any back talk Kaznia had had to deal with had been entertaining at least and fueled her connection to the dark side at best.But now… that break in her head is making the few memories she had much clearer.Astra hadn’t been piteous that day; she’d been scared.

“When I was a child,” Kaznia starts, “you were carrying me.Why?”

Something flickers in Astra’s eyes, the only part of her face showing any emotion. “You were weakened by the witches… machinations.You couldn’t walk.”

She sees Astra in white armor.So much rain.

“But why?”

Astra rolls her shoulders.

“Did you keep yourself, Little Star?”

A small hand claws through her hand, terrified and dirty but desperate to have these answers.She needs to know.Once and for all.

“Yes.”

“Then who are you loyal to?”

The Cisar, her former self wants to scream.Any other answer would be treason; would be a show of disloyalty of the highest regard.Kaznia was a loyal servant.

Before.

That hand trembles, grips, pulls until Kaznia has no choice but to admit its presence.She’s not who she was.

The break crumbles even more.

“I don’t know anymore.”

Astra nods, finally moving by reaching out with one hand and squeezing the back of Kaznia’s neck.“Then, Little Star, I think it is finally time that we talk about your Master.And what he did to you.”Astra tightens her grip and the look she gives Kaznia is suddenly full of desperation.“But we must be quick my star, we do not have a lot of time.”

~*~

“So, let’s go over what we know.”Cat starts, joining Alex and Maggie at the broken holodeck.“Diana is dead.”The name tumbles out of her mouth, catching against teeth and pain as it falls out.Cat swallows before continuing but even Alex can taste the bitter aftertaste.She hadn’t been close to Diana by any means and had hated the influence she had on Kara, but she had respected her.Her loss was a heavy one.“James killed her, and a man named Maxwell Lord.”

“A Jedi,” Alex corrects, “but yes.”

Also hadn’t been the hugest fan of Max’s but that didn’t make his murder ok.If nothing else, Max would have been useful in helping her create a weapon or device that would take down the Sith’s weapon.Without hurting Kara.

“And then somehow Winn managed to shoot you off of a mountain and you’ve sustained… significant injuries.”

Fighting the urge to shift in her seat, Alex stares gloomily at the damaged table.This had been her ship for years; had gotten her through more than one scuffle and now… even with Dox, a self-appointed 12th level intellect, it didn’t look good for her girl.It looked about the same for Alex.The nanites she had injected had fixed her bones but had done nothing for the massive contusions along her torso.She also suspects a splenic hematoma but can’t say anything.Benching Lucy had been a personal choice, one that she was certain Maggie would copy on her if she knew the full extent of Alex’s injuries.

“Unfortunately.”

It would keep.Dox was fixing their medical droid and then Alex could take care of this in private.

“We don’t have a ship,” Cat continues, pacing around the room and rubbing tired eyes, “we need to wait for backup, Major Lane is incapacitated, and the Sith have Kara.And Winn.”

Unprompted, Kara’s smiling face fills Alex’s mind.The Kryptonian laughing; their last moments when she’d been screaming.

_I want a huge bath; something I can splash around in._

_I didn’t make a mistake Alex.I made my choice and it’s you._

_Try not to move that grumpy pants._

_I like playing the long game._

_You can come with us if you want._

“Allegedly,” Maggie says, slumping back in her seat.“We’re hoping that’s allegedly.Dox went to the base to scout it out; the whole damn thing was gone.”

“The base?”

“The mountain.”

Cat’s eyes widen and she halts her movements.Her mouth works but nothing comes out.

“There were bodies.”Alex continues, “and he found the Kryptonite and Kara’s bag and staff.We’re… still looking for Diana and Max.”Which honestly shouldn’t be a priority; they didn’t have time to sit around and mourn people when the entire galaxy was at stake.When Kara’s life was at stake.“The good news is Dox also found the chips Max had designed to counter the Sith’s weapon.We’re replicating them now; should have a few dozen by tomorrow morning.”

“Good.”Cat mumbles, resuming her pacing.“That’s good.”

Maggie nods decisively, “I’ve checked our supplies.Water’s shit; we need to restock and the food, if it’s not a grain or frozen we can’t eat it.We’ve got almost all of the power diverted to Lucy’s regen pod which means nav and tracking systems are down.Comms are online so that’s good but they… they took out our turrets and the main guns.If we get attacked out here, we’re done for.”

“So we’re alone, vulnerable, and those monsters can use my children to end life as we know it at any given moment?”

“In a nutshell.”Maggie mumbles.

Cat squeezes her hands together, lips thinning.“Just wanted to be certain.”

“That’s not it in a nutshell.”Alex refutes, “the Sith aren’t going to use the weapon to just end all life.It’s bigger than that.”

“Danvers your whole spiel was—”

“I know.That was before.After talking to Max and Kara… it’s not about the planets.It was never about the planets.It was about the people.”When all she receives is blank stares, Alex takes a breath.Now more than ever, she needs to be understood.There’s no time for her brain to get in the way.“Everyone has the Force inside of them right?Some aspect of the Force flows through all living beings.Imagine if you could manipulate that?”

Maggie leans forward, her elbows resting on her knees as she frowns thoughtfully.“In what way?”

“I’m… not completely sure yet and I’m pretty glass half empty right now but I was leaning more towards—towards absorbing that energy.Making it into a weapon of its own or bolstering the elite Sith in the Legion.Anyone left behind wouldn’t stand a chance.”

“An army of slaves at their beck and call.”Cat breathes.

“Ultimate power move.”Maggie seethes, “eliminate your enemies and make everyone else do your bidding or share the same fate.You win the war in one stroke and rule out the chance that you’re ever challenged.”

“There’s time.”Alex says softly, “Not a lot but… I think… Kara isn’t a Jedi or a Sith, I know that but she’s still a force for the Light.They can’t use her like that.That’s why they “killed” me in front of her.Why they killed Diana and potentially turned Winn.They wanted her to feel powerless so that she would crave power.But she’ll never be a force for the Dark.Not really.It needs to be an inclination not a consumption.”

“Why?”

“So that she’ll still automatically seek out the Light.It won’t be intentional but she’ll subconsciously target every Jedi or would be Light user within the Galaxy.”Alex says, feeling heavy and hopeless and trying to fight both.“In that state of mind she won’t have any qualms with destroying everything.She’ll want them to pay.All of them.”

“I’m afraid you’re right.”Cat says, sinking onto the bench next to them.“The problem is, the more people she kills, the deeper she’ll fall.That’s how you become a Sith, it’s not just about _having_ bad thoughts, it’s acting on them.”

Alex takes a deep breath, fighting through the pain in her body and her heart.“As soon as the rebels get here, we need to move.Maggie: I need you to pack everything we’ve got.Cat: stay on Comms, let me know if there’s anything that comes through even if it’s not from our guys.”

“What will you do?”

“I’ve got some ideas.”Alex counters, “stay here, keep watch for the Rebels; I’ll set up a perimeter.”

“Alex…”Maggie opens her mouth and then closes it, clearly wanting to say something.Alex doesn’t really care what though.

She and Maggie haven’t really spoken since the other woman had suggested Alex kill Kara.Alex doesn’t see why that should change now.

Hefting her body up requires a bit more strength than she would like but Alex gets it done.It’s been less than twelve hours since she’d last seen Kara and as much as she hates it, she can’t go after her right now.Not without support.Maggie has made it clear that she won’t support her, but the Clones have always looked to Alex as a paradigm of right.She hopes that will earn her some assistance.

One step at a time.

Fix her hematoma.

Rendezvous with the rebels.

Steal some clones.

Go get Kara.

And maybe Winn.It depends on how sorry he is.

But first things first.

Using her hands, Alex slowly makes her way towards the hanger.“Someone should start on dinner.”

Next step: outside.

~*~

By the time everyone has gone to sleep, Alex is well on her way to spitting up blood.It had helped that she and Maggie weren’t talking, and that Lucy was in a medically induced coma.The only other person who would check on her would have been M’gann and she’s still… incapacitated.

Hiding her injury had been fairly easy when all was said and done but the real work comes when she has to sneak down to the med bay.Alex is used to being quiet and has honed the skill over years of wanting and needing to go unnoticed.That’s not the problem.Her most recent issue is that, as she has waited so long to receive treatment, she is very near to losing her hold on consciousness by the time she’s ready to make her move.Stumbling has never been a very quiet feat and so her journey is slow and filled with winces.

When she does finally make it, she makes a beeline for the medical droid, punching in commands to the console.Once she’s sure the droid has the specifics down, she moves to the bed, removing her shirt and laying down.There is a cabinet above her head full of boosters and medicine and she grabs a shot that contains a numbing agent.

She can’t be asleep for this so it’s going to suck really bad, but this at least will take the edge off.

She injects herself just above her bruised abdomen, huffing through the pain before taking another shot for good measure.The straps she had used on Lucy, she now uses on herself, tightening the material as much as she can before sinking back.This is for Kara, she tells herself.She needs you and you need to suck this shit up.

She takes a steadying breath, eye’s already blurry with tears as she shoves a strap of soft leather between her teeth and bites down.

Then she signals the droid to get started.

Alex is sweating and certain that this stupid droid is going to kill her when a voice nearly startles her into a coma.

“You must truly love her to do something so foolish.”Cat walks through the door, a disapproving glower on her face as she watches the laparoscopic procedure take place in front of her.Coming to a stop next to the head of the bed, Cat turns her gaze to the monitor displaying Alex’s insides.“That is gross.”

Alex isn’t in the mood to plead her case and even when she tries, her words come out garbled and raspy.

“She’ll die if I don’t do this.”

“I know.”Cat says, laying a hand on her shoulder.“I know.That’s why I brought back up.”

Cat looks over her shoulder, Alex lethargically following her gaze to see Dox at the control panel tapping away.

“What are you doing?”Alex sobs, helpless to stop them as she is.Everything she feels like she’s accomplished so far is falling through her fingertips.“Please don’t stop it.I need to get to her.”

“You will.”Cat promises, “rest now.”

Blinking hard, Alex doesn’t even realize she’s been sedated until her vision goes black.

~*~

When Kara had had her back pressed against the glass of a broken cargo ship, she’d felt cold.It had bitten at her skin until it had sunk all the way down into her bones.Before that moment she hadn’t known that cold could cause pain, especially not pain that intense.Shivering, she folds her arms tighter, keeping herself as small as possible atop the uninsulated landing gear.

She’d managed to remain undetected on the Tie Fighter, jumping high enough to grab onto one as it sped by overhead.Something had slammed onto her back right after, nearly knocking her off but she’d held on and managed to get dig her fingers into the metal of the ship’s underbelly for a more secure hold.

Unfortunately, once it had entered space, things had gotten funky.Space is cold and, although Kara doesn’t need to breathe like humans, she is still susceptible to the effects.The transit from space to the tie fighter’s mothership had been the longest trip of her life and she hadn’t been able to stop shivering since.

The only good part of it was that the cold had numbed her so much she hadn’t noticed her hitchhiker.Lucy’s droid Myxz had attached itself to her back and, once they were safely stored away, booped at her to let her know of its presence.He’d even heated the outer metal panels of his body to help stave off the heat loss.

Kara’s hugging him to her chest now, grateful for this one last tie to her friends.Her family.

If she’d been smarter, she would have just found a ship willing to follow after the Sith.Or stolen one.

It’s not like she needed her morals anymore and besides… it’s what Alex would have done.

Tears sting her eyes as she thinks of her dead zhao, the woman that Rao himself had sent for her to protect.And now she was dead because Kara had been a fool.A silly foolish girl who’d had the nerve to believe that Winn and James were her friends.Trapped as she is, she’s had ample time to go over the events that occurred on Naboo and they still make no sense to her.

She’d known both men for _years_ , James had been Clark’s best friend for _years_ and yet somehow, she’d still missed the fact that they were traitors.And no matter how hard she thinks about it, she can’t remember any one instance that would have given her reason to doubt them.

But Alex had.

Or at least Alex had doubted James, near the end.She’d thought he’d been flirting with Lucy but in reality, he’d been trying to get access to the ship’s Major.She has no idea what he would have done to Lucy if the brunette had taken the bait, if his plan had been to recruit her or get her out of the picture.Whatever he’d wanted to do had still resulted in Lucy’s death though so in the end James had won after all.

She feels sick.

One moment, she’d been on top of the world.Alex had told her that she’d wanted a future with her, Lucy and Maggie had given their approval, she had Cat and Diana by her side, her two best friends in the whole world there to keep her company.She’d had everything and with one small miscalculation, one small moment that had barely lasted ten minutes, she’d lost everything.

Alex had been there and then she hadn’t.

The Hawk had been there and then it hadn’t.

They were just gone.

Like Krypton.

Like her family.

Except Kassandra.

And Astra.

They’d survived somehow and even given their bloodline, had sworn an oath to take Kara down.She’s not sure why; she never did anything to them.

All she’d wanted to do was end the war.It’s what Alex had wanted too.

It’s probably the only thing that’s keeping Kara on that path; knowing that this is what Alex would have wanted.Unfortunately for everyone involved… life no longer seems quite so sacred.Not when Kara continuously loses everyone who means anything to her.If the Force can condone such pain and hardship, can allow people as kind and generous as Alex and her friends to just die… then she doesn’t really care for its counsel.This time it’s going to listen to _her._

This time Kara gets to say who dies.

Bunkering down, she blows hot breath into her cupped hands.They have a way to go yet and she’s already proven that her normal routine of flying by the seat of her pants won’t work.She needs a plan and, since Alex had already given her one, one that James and Winn had not been privy to yet, she doesn’t see the need to start from scratch.

~*~

When Alex awakes it’s because the Hawk is shaking, vibrations travelling through the damaged metal frame and jostling her out of her bunk.She curses as she lands on the floor, her palms and wrists smarting from bracing her fall. Then the shaking stops, quiet returning to the ship for a few brief moments.

Alex is already on her feet by then, hand clenched against her sore side as she grabs her utility belt and snatches a blaster from the holster.It’s only when she’s near the hangar doors that she realizes she has no difficulty walking and that her side, while sore, is not crippling her with pain.

What the hell?

If Cat had stopped the surgery like Alex thought she had, there was no way she should even be able to stand.And if she hadn’t, there was no way Alex should feel this great.

What the hell had happened?

Whatever questions she has need to be placed on hold.This isn’t the time for them.Her thumb flicks over the safety, the gun charging in her hand as she steps out of the ship to confront…

J’onn.

Nia squeals when she sees her, flitting over and throwing her arms around Alex’s shoulders.

“I knew you were alive!”Nia screeches in her ear.“My dream saw you fall but it never showed you landing so I just knew it!Normally my magic likes to give me nightmares but not this time and—”

“Nia,” J’onn calls.“Let her breathe.”

“Oh right.”

Alex sucks in a huge breath when she’s released, looking around the sunlit field at the newcomers.J’onn and Nia aren’t the only arrivals from Yavin. Lena and General Lane have also arrived and, upon seeing Alex, Lena walks around Cat and Maggie to greet her.

“Commander Danvers, I heard you needed a hand.”

“Several.”Alex confirms, sliding the safety back on her blaster and tucking it into the holster on her hip.“Not that it’s not great to see all of you but what about the clones?”

Lena points up.“Sitting in our cruiser awaiting our command.I assume we’re going after Miss Kara?”

“Yes.We can’t let the Sith get a hold of her.If we do, it’s game over.”

Lena’s eyes narrow, the cat like pupils contracting as she nods.“Then we should get moving.”

“Not quite yet.”Cat interrupts, holding up a hand as she looks up at the sky.“My backup seems to be running a little late.”

“You called someone?”Alex doesn’t remember asking Cat to do any such thing.In fact, she hadn’t known that Cat _knew_ people that she could just call in.Although she supposes having spent the better part of her life raising a Force user with a Jedi on hand would give you some pretty interesting contacts.

“Yes.”Cat says simply, offering nothing further.

“He’s coming in now.”Nia stage whispers, “I dreamt it.You might want to stand… here.”

Alex can’t help the small smile she gives the young woman, allowing herself to be moved about 3 feet to the left.If the circumstances hadn’t been so dire, she might have even given her a hug for the consideration.

“Just try to keep out of trouble.”

“Hey Dreamer,” Maggie calls, “why don’t you help me get what’s left of the Hawk out of here?And J’onn.”Maggie’s voice takes on a somber tone, the brunette tilting her head towards the damaged ship.“M’gann could really use your help if you’re up for it.”

“It’s why I’m here.”J’onn rumbles, nodding at Alex as he walks past her.“And to make sure this one does not get herself killed.”

Alex shrugs.

“We brokered a deal with the locals,” Lena says, watching as Nia skips off to assist Maggie.“The droids Max sent down are still awaiting supplies.They’ll provide them and supervise the repairs on your ship while we go take on the Legion and—”

Something crash lands beside them, or at least Alex thinks it’s a crash.Whatever it was had moved so quickly it could hardly be anything _but._

Lena’s thrown up a Force shield, tugging Alex behind her as they wait for the dust to settle so they can see what had almost taken Alex out.If Nia hadn’t moved her…

Huffing, Alex turns a glare on Cat.“You’re backup?”

“Still haven’t quite managed the art of landing have you Clark?”Cat asks, waving a hand to clear the air immediately in front of her.A second later, there’s a vacuum sound and the air has been cleared.Alex is left staring at a rather tall, muscular man dressed in blue and red clothes.Kind of like… Oh great.“I’m glad you came.”

“Well,” the man, Clark, says setting down the woman in his arms.“You said she was in danger and she’s family.You don’t abandon family.”

“No.”Cat agrees, nodding at the woman.“Lois.”

“Catherine.”

“Can I just remind you both that Kara needs us?”Clark asks, holding his hands up placatingly to the two women.“We can’t let the past—what was _that?”_

Mentally taking one red sun grenade out of her inventory, Alex follows up her preliminary assault with a right hook that catches Clark in the chin and sends him sprawling in the grass.

“What the hell?!”Lois yells, “what the hell do you think you’re doing Alex?”

For her part, Alex had kind of been shocked at Lois’ arrival.Lucy’s older sister very rarely made an appearance outside of the Senate and even then, it was usually to kidnap Lucy for some girl time when General Lane had gone too far.As her father’s darling, Lois was hardly ever in trouble with the General.Somehow, Lucy was hardly ever not.

They were almost a decade apart in years, but Alex had always appreciated how Lois had still carved out time for Lucy.She was the epitome of a good big sister, but Clark was the epitome of a horrendous cousin.That Lois was _dating_ him?Alex is trying really hard not to lose any respect for the woman.

“This,” Cat says, moving to stand by Alex’s side.“Is Kara’s zhao.She’s not very approving of the way Kara was treated.”

“Abandoned.”Alex grits, fighting the urge to kick the shocked man in the balls.“I’m pretty sure you mean abandoned.”

Cat shrugs.

“I don’t know what story you heard,” Clark starts, lifting a hand to stay Alex’s next attack, “but I swear to you I never abandoned her.I was a kid myself!”

“And you told her to get lost.”

“I told her to _wait_ —”

“I don’t care.I don’t care what you think you said; all I care about is the fact that she was sobbing her eyes out on my bed because of _you_.You’re here to help us and I appreciate that but don’t think that I’d accept your help if I had any other choice.This is for Kara.”Alex states, looking at Cat specifically, “he can rot.”

As she stalks away, angrier than is reasonable but ready to lay out her plans to Lena and see what other resources they had, Alex can still hear Cat say, “Welcome to the Rebellion.”

~*~

They hold a small ceremony for Max and Diana, Cat sniffling on the sidelines while Alex fights the urge to leave them all.Truthfully, it is an incredibly short event that doesn’t cut into their time at all, but she still feels her anxiety rachet up.

Kara needs her.

She doesn’t have _time_ for this.

Max may have wanted the fawning, but Diana would be just as angry as Alex is.She hadn’t, after all, given her life just for them to fail.

When Lena says the last words, Alex can’t help bouncing on her toes, ready to take off.They’d cleared the Hawk, the only thing they’d still had to move was Lucy.And they’d been giving J’onn a bit more time with M’gann.Hopefully both were done now.

Lena turns to her and bows, lifting her eyes to the sky and nodding.

That’s all the sign Alex needs.

Marching over to one of the transports, Alex had almost made her way into the shuttle when a warning cry sounds behind her.She’s not quick enough to defend herself, and she’s only barely quick enough to do a half turn so that whatever it is doesn’t have full access to her vulnerable back.

A body slams into her and she grabbles with it, teeth setting into her shoulder and _biting_.

Alex yelps, hands swatting at black hair as arms and legs tighten around her body.

“You crazy _psycho!Get off of me!”_

“You benched me!You put me in a tube!”Lucy wraps her hands around Alex’s throat and throttles her, shaking violently.

“Get’er off me!”Alex screeches, her own hands trying to pry the soaking wet body off of hers. She has no idea if anyone understands her, but she can’t disable Lucy in their current position without hurting her more. “She’s fucking nuts!”

Lucy laughs maniacally.

Finally, after Alex is certain that her friend isn’t a zombie come back from the dead, General Lane steps up and calmly removes his daughter from Alex, Lucy still growling while Alex clutches her chest and tries to catch her breath.

Because what the actual fuck.

How had she even gotten out of the regen pod.

A quick glance at the hangar doors of the Hawk reveals Dox and Dreamer standing side by side sporting identical stunned facial expressions.

Of course.

Of course it was them.

“It’s not very nice when someone attacks you now is it?”The petulant remark has Alex whipping her head around, her hand already clenching into a fist as she debates taking another swing at Kara’s cousin.

Clark’s jaw firms, his body tensing in anticipation but he need not have worried.J’onn steps between them and gently guides Alex onto the shuttle.

“We have places to be.”He says, M’gann on his other side and looking completely wiped.

Alex tables her anger.

For now.

“Oh,” Lucy chirps, from behind them.“Hey Clark.”

The cheery greeting is followed by the sound of a discharged blaster and the muffled scream of a male Kryptonian.

Chuckling and clearly more than a little stir crazy, Lucy jog-limps passed them, pausing only to give Alex a well-deserved high five.“Well, what are we waiting for Cap?Let’s go save the galaxy.”

~*~

Winn gets found by James after hours of wandering around a very exquisite suite.That apparently had no exit.

Where the hell was he?

And where was Kara?

They had rules in place for a reason; reasons that had kept them both alive through the years.

He’d been grumbling about being abandoned, arms crossed and admittedly sporting a pout as he sat at the rather large dining table, when James had entered the room.

The door retreating back into the wall and becoming invisible once more.

James smiles at him affectionately, crossing the room quickly and giving Winn a firm kiss.

“Hi babe, I’ve been waiting for you to wake up.”

Snorting, Winn allows himself to be kissed again before poking James in the chest.“Apparently not very long!I’ve been in here for _hours!_ What the crap happened?Where’s Kara?And why aren’t we on the Ebon Hawk?And also, what the crap happened?!”

James chuckles but Winn doesn’t really see the humor.One second, he had been happily marching off to the market, intent on bringing Kara back a starfish since she couldn’t visit the place herself, and the next he’d been waking up here.

Alone.

Whatever had happened on Naboo he had a very bad feeling about it.

If James hadn’t been acting so calm, he would have thought something terrible had happened.

…unless James was an imposter!

“What was our first date?”

“I took you to a pod race and bought you a foam hand.You threw up when you tasted beer for the first time.”

“It wasn’t the beer.”Winn scowls, “it was the food!…When was the first time you said you loved me?”

James chuckles and shakes his head.“Winn it’s me, I promise.And I’ll explain all of this, just let me clean up a little ok?I’ll be back out in just a moment.”

Still scowling, Winn nods his assent and allows James to walk past him into the bathroom.

A second later, he’s following behind him, a nagging sensation in his belly.“Where’s Kara?” He asks, watching James strip and feeling almost nothing for the first time in years.He’s appreciative sure, but his worry for his friend is overriding any arousal he might feel.

“She’s on her way.”James promises, stepping out of his pants and reaching into the glass stall to turn on the shower.“We got separated on Naboo, we’re on Adam’s ship.Remember him?”

“Clark’s archnemesis?”

“Yeah,” James confirms, stepping under the spray and sliding the glass closed.“They may have different views, but luckily for us, Adam put that aside to help us out.We’d have been sitting ducks if it weren’t for him.”

“Huh.”Winn grunts, sitting on the lid of the toilet.“That is lucky.What about Alex and the others?Is Kara with them?”

“Definitely; can you imagine a world where Alex would let that girl out of her sight?”James laughs, “I bet you didn’t think our matchmaking would result in that much love.”

“No.”Something is niggling at his brain, but he can’t quite place what it is.And the harder he thinks about it, the more it slips away from him.He needs his laptop.Someone had messed with his mind.Unfortunately for them, Winn had built a pretty sophisticated neural network that backed up his memories to an undisclosed cloud server that he’d built himself and hid behind a gazillion firewalls and traps.The only person he had told about it had been Kara and only then because she’d been the one to help him build it.

Well, her and Dox but Winn hadn’t really seen the AI as a real person back then.

He did now.

Whatever had happened on Naboo, he hoped Dox’s body was ok.The little guy had been waiting a long time to get one.

“Hey,” James prompts, standing before Winn naked but for the towel around his waist.“What’s wrong?You went all quiet.”

Startled, Winn quickly wrenches his gaze from hard pectorals and latches on to James’ face like a lifeline.“Nothing!Just… just uh worried.Sorry.I—it’s just Kara and I aren’t usually apart, and I’m really worried about her now.

Humming James nods.“I know.Last contact had them somewhere in the Mid Rim colonies so it might be a few more days… Good news is that they’re ok right?”

“Right.”That was good news.And James would never lie to him, so he holds onto that good news like a lifeline.They were alright.They were alive.“Right.”

“And,” James teases, “it means that you and I are finally alone in our own space where no one can barge in on us.”

That sounds even more appealing. 

As James draws him into a kiss, Winn’s mind is working a mile a minute.Whatever is going on, Winn knows his laptop is close by.He also knows that James isn’t being completely honest with him, but his boyfriend has a tendency to overprotect.He also has a tendency to fall asleep after sex.

So Winn will blow his mind—no pun intended—and then find his computer.He has a feeling he’ll need it.And that he should wait to watch his lost memories until James is otherwise occupied.Something is telling him that involving James in this would just result in a fight.James had often questioned Winn’s loyalties.Not in a bad way but more in a “do you love Kara more than me” kind of way.Like an insecure thing.Not a possessive thing just a, “will you leave me for your best friend/sister”.Winn had assured him time and again that the answer was no, but James still had his moments.

Winn had tried to tone down his love for Kara when James was around, but that hadn’t really affected how he felt about her.

Kara was his best friend and he would die for her.Probably.If he didn’t chicken out first, then yes.Or, you know, if there was any other choice.Maybe.Almost certainly.

The point was that he loved her.

And, unfortunately, loving James had never come before loving Kara.And something was wrong with her; Winn could feel it.

Something was very, very wrong.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Astra is treading on very thin ice here. She can't read minds, she has no idea what Kaznia remembers or doesn't at this point; who she is loyal to and who she is not; her motivations. If she tells Kaz what she knows, does Kaznia then turn her over to Mobius? Does she go off the deep end and get herself killed?
> 
> And what are _Astra's_ motivations? Why has she been a Sith all these years if she cares about Kaznia? How did the Sith even get the both of them? So many questions huh? I think Kaz is about to get at least some of her answers.
> 
> And no worries; Kaznia is not abandoning Mikhail to Otis.
> 
> Then we have the Rebels.
> 
> What they know is that they're pretty much fucked. Alex takes a huge risk getting that operation but she forgets that nothing gets passed Cat Grant. Cat and Dox take over and with a little technical magic, they fix Alex up. I haven't edited the next chapter yet but I'm kind of nervous we don't revisit this. I have made a sticky note to make sure. My paranoia for closing loopholes is beginning to get astronomical as we reach the end.
> 
> Maggie and Alex *will* talk. Soon. Ish.
> 
> And honestly, there is no way I could have benched Lucy. She's Lucy friggin Lane, she rode a motorcycle in the dead of night with only the word of her acquaintance friend to rescue and alien and a woman who was honestly a little iffy. (her words not mine, I love Alex). So she gets to be a drugged up psycho for a bit and exact her revenge. Breaks the tension a bit yeah?
> 
> Plus, even though I don't hate Clark, I really like ribbing at the guy. He's so easy.
> 
> And we've got the whole gang back together. Lena and Sam Lane and J'onn and Nia and... everyone. We're building an army :)
> 
> Problem is, that army is still on Naboo and Kara's got a really good head start soooo... as Astra said. We're running out of time.
> 
> At least Kara has a friend huh? Myxz the adorable little droid. I stole him from Battlefront 2 if anyone's played that game before.
> 
> Then Winn and James. Got admit, after writing the Naboo chapter having James be nice is *really* fun. Like I kind of think he's a sociopath and I am enjoying it immensely. BUT having Winn love that sociopath and still having intimacy between them is skeeving me out. It's necessary since Winn is still on Team James but... really weird.
> 
> Alright guys, see you next week! :)


	27. Ch 25: Now I am strong

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alex gets pissed; Kaznia visits the past; and Winn figures out the truth.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this is the LAST chapter of calm.
> 
> Literally everything goes to shit after this.
> 
> So... enjoy.
> 
> Song: My Love- Sia.  
> (Keeping in mind I did not read/watch Twilight so I only base this song on the lyrics. Wanted to drop that because I know a lot of that fandom have strong feelings about this song but I just like Sia.)
> 
> P.S. If you don't know the song, give it a listen. It was largely influential on both the story and myself.

They’re all arguing.

Loudly.

And, while Alex may have been miraculously healed somehow—mostly—she wasn’t immune to migraines.Which she was developing.Right now.

When she’d boarded Lena’s battle cruiser, she’d been shocked to see more than a few familiar faces.The clones were there as promised, the generically tall and handsome warriors greeting her with reverence as usual.Then there was Kate, who’d rushed over to Maggie and held on like her life depended on it.Jamie had been left in the care of Kate’s family because “there’s no way I’m leaving the fate of the galaxy to you halfwits.We’d all be dead by morning.”

Seeing Vasquez had been a bigger shock honestly, seeing as how the former rebel had left with no fucks given.Vasquez is standing lazily against the wall checking over a decidedly massive gun and only nods at Alex when she passes by to give her report.

After she had told them everything she knew and what her idea for a rescue was, General Lane had stepped in and asked why she was even recommending a rescue.Clearly there was an exceedingly small window in which they could work and saving Kara seemed counterproductive to destroying the weapon.

His argument was that if they didn’t use Kara like Alex assumed, then they still had Darth Kaznia and the galaxy would still be lost.In the argument for the greater good, General Lane of course believed that sacrificing those women was a moot point.Darth Kaznia was a Sith who didn’t deserve to be breathe and Kara had been a nomad up until a few months ago.One who had brought spies into the rebellion and cost them a base.He didn’t say it, but Alex knew he wanted Kara dead just as much as he wanted to kill Kassandra.

They meant nothing to him and no matter how much anyone argued with him that Kara’s life had not yet been forfeit he didn’t seem to care.

“What will you tell the parents of Force sensitives when they’re picking their lifeless children up out of bed?Because you let yourselves be ruled by your hearts?”

“It is not our hearts.”Lena says, “the Force does not will this.”

Because of course the Jedi still followed the Force in everything.The Force did not will them to kill anyone apparently, but it also did not see a clear way to a rescue.Lena’s plan would also see them go after the weapon first, it was after all the main goal.Without the weapon, neither Kara nor Kaznia would be lost.

“None of you seem to be understanding that Kara will _be_ the weapon!”Cat insists, tone biting.Sunk back in the booth surrounding the holodeck, Alex watches Cat chew out anyone not in favor of saving Kara.“If you go into this with your guns blazing you will be ending an innocent life!”

“We have a chance to save trillions of innocent lives!Is your pet Jedi worth so much more than them?”

“General Lane I would ask that you show respect to me and mine.We are no one’s pet.”

“Please!”The man swipes a beefy hand through the map on the table, cutting through colorful battle plans and closing out the program.“If you weren’t, we wouldn’t be in this mess.As soon as we find that alien, we’re—"

“I wouldn’t finish that sentence sir.”Cat grits.

“Or you’ll what?”

“It’s not her you need to worry about.”Clark says, stepping up to the table with crossed arms, Lois at his side.“That’s my cousin you’re talking about.”

“Cousins.”Cat corrects.

Clark gives a small nod of acknowledgement.

“I don’t care who she—”

“Dad,” Lois interrupts, “imagine if it were me and Lucy.It matters.Family matters.”

“ _You_ wouldn’t be so foolish as to get caught up in this kind of mess!I raised you well enough to have a solid head on your shoulders.”

Next to her, Lucy shifts and Alex can see without looking the usual disappointed disbelief that etches itself into her friend’s face.The General had either forgotten that she existed—again.Or he had purposefully excluded her from his praise of Lois—again.Either way it only solidifies Alex’ hate for the man.She unfolds one of her arms and slides her hand into Lucy’s.

“We are getting off track,” Lena argues.“We all have the same end goal.Surely we can create a plan that would ensure all of our needs are met.”

“We’re not dividing forces,” Lane spits.“Against an enemy this big, that’d be suicide.”

“Going at them from one angle is suicide.”Clark argues.“The plan Alex had was sound!We need to divide and conquer here.No one gets left behind.”

“And when your psycho twins come for us next?By your own admission, these two have the highest midi-chlorians readings on record!”

“That _I_ have felt.”Lena says, pupils’ slits as she glares at Sam.“I cannot in good faith say that my own connection to the Force is the sole scale on which to base our plans.”

They continue to argue, volumes increasing and insults getting more and more childish.It probably wouldn’t have gone down like this if J’onn or even M’gann had stayed top side.Unfortunately, both Martians had been feeling weakened by their mental battle against M’gann’s demons so any calming psychic waves would need to come at a later date.

At the moment it seems like vitriol is the only meal on the menu.

“This,” Lane reveals, stepping aside to once again show off his new toy.“Has been in development for nearly a decade!You know this Lena!We’ve been putting every scientific mind to work to come up with a way to take out a Sith Destroyer.With a few of these we can take out that weapon of theirs no problem.”

The weapon in question is a rather large ion canon that is bigger than Alex’s body.It can reach temperatures as hot as most planet’s cores and has a beam as stable as a solid column of wood.A column as thick as Clark’s shoulders if Alex remembers correctly.It would need to be mounted to the ship’s gun systems to work but Alex knew that these were already in rotation.

Eliza hadn’t really been for creating the weapon, but she had realized the necessity.Back then Alex had thought Eliza had been doing it for the rebellion and maybe she was in a way.But now that Alex has people at stake, now that she knows what it’s like to sit in one of these meetings and realize that the people you prioritize are not a priority, she’s having second thoughts.

It just might be that Eliza had been doing it for Alex; to make sure Alex had a chance to come home.

After her first command, when she’d lost all of those soldiers, General Lane had pulled her aside and tried to beat into her skull that those soldiers had been expendable.And Alex hadn’t known them.Not really.The only ones she’d been close to had been Lucy and Maggie.So she’d dropped it.

And dropped her squadron.

She’d been transferred from Lane’s division to Haley’s and given a much quieter Command.After that, the people who she had cared for had all had their lives placed in _her_ hands.She decided the best courses of action.When to run and when to fight.They’d trusted her.

“Except that would leave our fleet vulnerable,” Lena refutes, bringing the map back up and gesturing to the tiny ships that represent the Rebel Fleet.“They rely on those canons to take on the larger ships.”

“A few will need to be sacrificed for the many.”

That wasn’t the case here.

For one Haley was dead and so her usual even tempered nature that balanced out Lane’s destructive arrogance was nowhere to be seen.

And for two, none of these people knew or cared about Kara in a way that mattered except for Cat.Clark too maybe.

They were all arguing over how to end the Sith and the voices of the people who wanted Kara alive were slowly but surely getting drowned out by the Council.Who Alex had sworn herself to protect.Who Alex had defended time and time again.She’d always known they could be pretentious but now they’re simply wrong.And the outcomes they’re talking about are not outcomes Alex cares to see.

“Nia.”Alex says, pulling the teenager’s attention away from the bickering adults.

It’s all the warning she gives before she stands, releases Lucy’s hand, and violently hurls her vibrosword across the room.It cuts cleanly through a narrow slit at top of the canon at Lane’s side, a maintenance access point that lead to some extremely critical combustion wiring.Alex knew about it because, while Eliza had assisted in creating the weapon, she would be damned if Alex didn’t know how to disable it.

Vibrating swords against extremely sensitive wiring inside a chamber where there were very reactive chemicals?

Nia luckily gets her shield up in time, containing the explosion enough that the ship remains undamaged but not enough that the people in the immediate vicinity aren’t thrown back.

Alex ignores the impressed looks she is getting from Lucy and Maggie, seated on the far side of the booth’s head rest.Instead she calmly walks back over to the holodeck, replacing the schematics on the table with her initial plan.

“This is our outline.”She says calmly.“I am open to better positioning, reallocating teams, but this is our plan.Are there any questions?”

“You are a _Commander_.”Lane hisses.“You will listen to your betters or—”

“I have no betters in this room sir.”

Face purpling, the large man’s eyes narrow to slits, retribution clear in his intent.“Major Lane!Arrest this woman for—”

“I’ll stop you right there sir and respectfully say, fuck no.”Lucy stands too, hobbling over to Alex with her bad hip and somehow still managing to casually tuck her hands into her pockets.“I go where Cap goes.Those are the rules.”

Chest warming, Alex fights not to let her emotions get in the way of this.Appreciating Lucy’s support is one thing, bawling about it is quite another.

“Captain Sawyer,” Lane barks, a scowl settling over his face as he glares at his daughter.“Arr—”

“It’s Major.”Alex says, cutting him off and folding her hands behind her back.

“ _Excuse me?_ ”

Maggie is looking at her oddly too, but Alex meets her stare with a confident one of her own.She should have done this years ago.

“It is _Major_ Sawyer.She is not a Captain sir, and I would ask that you address my command with the respect their titles grant them.”

“This isn’t a game of make believe child!You cannot promote who you want, when you want and think—”

“Oh, but I did.”Alex refutes, pulling her eyes away from Maggie’s glistening ones to glare at the hideous human being before her.“And it’s not just because she’s under my command or that she’s been an amazing friend.It’s because she has led the rebels to victory with overwhelming amounts of intel.Intel that has put her and her family at risk.She has put it all on the line for the rebellion and it’s high time that we give her even a little of that back.”Lane’s mouth flaps, indistinguishable noises escaping him.Alex doesn’t care.She doesn’t care at all.“And, while we’re at it, Agent Vasquez will be reinstated.”

“You little—”

“With backpay.” Vasquez adds from behind her.

“With backpay.”Alex confirms, “and any other benefits that were stripped from them.”

Finger pointing rather violently at Vasquez, Lane glowers at Alex.“That woman is—”

“Not a woman.”Alex cuts in smoothly.“They are non-binary and have addressed themselves as such for years.”Alex purses her lips, a glimmer of amusement entering her when she remembers her and Kara’s trip all those months ago.“It helps if you stop thinking about it so hard.”She offers, fighting to keep her voice even at the memory.“The more you think about the pronouns, the more your brain just trips you up and the deeper you do this _thing_ you’re doing.”

Vasquez snorts.

Lane bristles, the collar of his uniform literally digging into his skin as he leans further over the deck as if he’s barely restraining himself from murdering Alex where she stands.“I will not stand by and be mocked!This is a matter of Galactic _security_ and personal feelings—”

“Exactly General,” Cat says, smoothly cutting into his argument and taking a step closer to Alex.“Personal feelings have no place in these decisions and they never have.A fact that I wish had been more respected when you forced Agent Vasquez out of the corp.It was your hate and your bigotry that brought us to where we are today.You’re the reason the Legion has such as strong foothold in our society.”

“I have never even met Olsen!Whatever that man’s reasons were for joining a hate group have nothing to do with me!”

“You isolated him.”Cat responds, “You did exactly what you have been doing to these young people here until there was nowhere left for him to go _but_ the Sith.Maybe you didn’t personally know him but every word of intolerance that you spread strengthened the voices around him.It is possible General,” Cat says, “to disagree with a thing _silently_.”

And Lane looks so completely flabbergasted that Alex almost feels bad for him.Almost.Very miniscule.

“General Luthor!”He barks, turning to the other Council member as a last resort.“Please inform these ingrates of their standing!They hold no authority here!”

“Actually,” Lena says, eyeing Alex with a hint of mirth.“Eliza asked that her Council seat be handed down to her daughter barring any objections.Can you give me one General?”

“I—she—her age is—”

“Insignificant.General Danvers,” Lena prompts, completely talking over Lane’s dwindling mutters of disbelief.“You have the floor.”

Alex nods, swallowing again at the reminder of her mother and how even now Eliza was trying to take care of her.She missed her so much; she couldn’t lose Kara too.She wouldn’t survive it.

“Does anyone have any questions?”She asks.“Before we proceed?”

“Just one,” Lena starts, eyeing Lucy with some concern.“Your pilot appears to be gravely injured and she’s a crucial part of your plan.Are you sure that we don’t need to talk alternatives?”

“Don’t need legs to fly.”Lucy states firmly, responding for herself and making Alex’s chest feel tight.“Me, Alex, and Maggie made a promise to all go home.Together.All due respect Master Luthor, I’m not sitting this out because of a little twinge.”

Lena is smiling.It’s small but it’s there and it still freaks Alex out.

“The Senate will not be happy with any of this.”

“The Senate can go fuck itself.”Lucy asserts, dropping her elbow, and consequently her weight, onto Alex’s shoulder.“They’re the worst of the lot.”

“Besides,” Alex argues, “if we don’t pull this off there may not be a Senate left.”

~*~

“We will begin with a meditation.”Astra is saying, both her and Kaznia sitting in the lotus position as they channel their connection to the Force.“I want you to feel who you are.”

Feel who she is?Kaznia almost gets up then and there.She’d agreed to this because she was feeling out of sorts, because Astra clearly had more information than her, because she wanted desperately to know why that Jedi had her face.

But “feeling” who she was?

“If you will not take this seriously,” she grits, keeping her eyes closed despite her ire. “Then I will take my concerns to the Cisar.”

“You don’t want to do that.”

“Why not?”

“He is not who you believe he is.And, if you would do as I asked, you would see that for yourself.”

Kaznia scowls, using her discipline to feel her connection to the Force again.This was pointless.She felt like an idiot.

“Find where _you_ in the Force and stop moping.”Astra commands.“Find yourself and then feel yourself.”

Stupid.

This was so stupid.

Still, Kaznia clenches her jaw and tries.The Force for her is a different realm.The Cisar had assured her it was different for everyone; for Kaznia it’s a thread of fire and every time she touches it, it tries to burn her.Now she stands before this thread, watching it flicker and dance in the darkness of her mind’s eye daring her to reach out.To touch.

Kaznia hasn’t been afraid of it in an awfully long time.

There’s no reason to start now.

Her palm makes contact and her skin sizzles, she welcomes the pain, delves past it, through it and finds calmer waters.Certainty and power.

There’s an old comfort to this.

“You are so used to wielding the Force like a blunt weapon.”Astra says, voice softer now and much farther away.“Do not do that now.Instead of using it, look at it.Do you feel anything of yourself?”

It takes a while, and a lot of patience and trust on Kaznia’s part but eventually she sees a small child a few feet in front of her.The Fire is gone now, replaced by a beautiful room with a full wall window to her left.Somewhere in her head this feels like home.

Frowning, she crouches in front of the child, unsurprised to see herself in those eyes.But they’re blue.Not tinged with red like Kaznia’s.

She’d never quite been able to make them go completely red.No matter what she’d done.

“What do you have to show me?”Kaznia demands.“What does Astra want me to see?”

The child tilts her head inquisitively.“You’ve broken your promise.We swore to never do that.”

“I have no idea what you’re talking about.What promise?”

“El Mayarah.”

For some reason, the words are like gong, thrumming through her whole body and making her throat burn.For the first time since she was a youngling, Kaznia feels the burn of the fire.She fights to hold on; refuses to let go when she’s so close.

“What?”

“You’ve turned your back on your family.”Child Kaznia says, glaring at her with hatred now.“We promised!Where’s Kara?”

“I don’t know who that is!”

Something is pulling on her, trying to get Kaznia to let go but she won’t!She can’t!

Close.So close!

“We’re supposed to be together!”The child is pacing now, frustrated and scared and clearly blaming Kaznia for her misfortunes.“This was your fault.”She declares.“You let them get us.You let them take us away.”

“Who are you talking about!?”

The child bares her teeth, a blue lightsaber suddenly appearing in her hand as she points the weapon in Kaznia’s face.“I won’t let you hurt her.”

“Hurt who?”

The scene is fading, the pull coming much stronger despite Kaznia’s iron clad grip.

"No.”Child Kaznia whispers, anguished.Like someone who’d just lost everything.Kaznia’s heard that despair before.Has caused it.“ **Kara**!”

~*~

_She’s running, watching the Sith with the red and black skin march toward the departing ships.One of which Kassandra knows Kara is on._

_And there’s a part of her that wants to teleport to her.There’s a part of her that wants to bend reality and space to be beside her twin again and if death is what awaits them then at least they will do that together._

_But Kassandra is not a coward._

_And the other, much larger part of herself wants Kara to live.She doesn’t want to imagine a world without her sister in it, doesn’t want to even think of it._

_And Astra had told her to stop accepting things._

_To create her own reality._

_She stops running._

_Plants her feet and digs deep within herself, calling up on everything she has and directing that towards the ship her sister is on.She closes the hangar door first; hears and ignores Kara’s alarmed cries._

_And then she seals herself off.Cuts through their bond with a laser until there is only a vast empty space where Kara had been and uses the pain that that loss brings to hurl the ship into space.The effect is like a bomb detonates in her brain, her senses exploding at the abrupt use of the Force._

_But she can’t rest._

_Not yet._

**_I’m sorry Kara,_ ** _she thinks as she pushes her body up from where she’d collapsed on the ground.The Sith has raised his own hand by this point and Kassandra can feel the dark energy flowing through him.She can’t teleport to him, they don’t have that connection, but Kassandra Zor-El is a Kryptonian.She is the daughter of a judicator and a scientist and she knows exactly what she is capable of.She knows exactly how to make this Sith bleed._

_Rolling to her knees, she gathers all the strength that the yellow sun feeds into her and screams, red fire erupting from her eyes and throwing the Sith off the attack.She’ll kill him, she swears.She’ll kill him before she lets him hurt Kara._

_Before she can though she feels something heavy hit her head._

_Then nothing._

~*~

Lucy waits until they’ve reached a deserted corridor to release all of the pent up energy the meeting had given her.

“That was so bad ass Cap!”She squeals, hugging Alex around the shoulders and squeezing.“It’s Cap again right?I can call you Cap cause you’re taking back command?”

Alex rolls her eyes and gently disentangles herself from Lucy.“I’m taking back command.Not so sure about the Cap part.”

“Oh, you love it.”

“It’s a good fit Danvers.”Maggie says, creating a small hush as her tone brings the celebratory air down a notch.“It always has been.”

The tension that bleeds into Alex’s body can’t be helped.Maggie had suggested the same thing that General Lane had suggested after all.The easy path, not the right one and Alex isn’t sure how deep that goes.She thinks she knows who Maggie is but ultimately… her words had left a mark.

“Thanks.”She mumbles, eyeing the small assemble of Lucy, Maggie, Kate, Cat, and Clark.Lois had stayed behind to try to calm her dad down, Vasquez was doing Vasquez things, and the teenagers had been getting to know one another the last Alex had checked.

Nodding, Maggie takes a step forward and crosses her arms.It’s clear she's uncomfortable.Clear she’s gonna say whatever bullshit she wants despite that.

“I was wrong.”

Not what Alex was expecting.

“What?”

“On Taris, you came with me to get my family back.You created a serum to save them in case they’d gotten bitten by Raghouls.You did literally everything you could to save them even though our training says you should’ve just cut ties and run.Your _last_ resort was my _first_ and I’m sorry.”Maggie slumps, looking sort of lost now that her speech has ended.“I’m sorry Alex.”

Alex shrugs.

“She’s too much of an ass to say anything but let me translate.”Lucy clears her throat.“ _It’s not ok but I’m gonna pretend it is ok because I’m really emotionally constipated and I don’t know how to say that I love you and you hurt my feelings.”_

“I know.”Maggie says.“I know and I can’t take back what I said but I need you to know that I’m with you.That if you think this plan will work than I trust you with my life.”Maggie’s gaze intensifies.“With my daughter’s life.”

The reminder sets a low simmer on the anger Alex has been fighting and she has to force herself to relax.

“I promise you Maggie.This is our _best_ chance.”

“Then I’ve got your back Danvers.”She pauses, glances at Lucy, and scuffs her shoe on the ground.“And I love you too.For whatever that’s worth.”

Thankfully, the awkwardness that would have followed is swiftly clapped away by Cat who steps into the middle of the group and claims everyone’s attention.

“I’m afraid I must break up the feelings circle.”Cat says.“Clark has some information you should know.”

Lucy groans.“More?”

Clark ignores her.“Did Kara ever tell you about Krypton?About Rao in particular?”

“Sun god.”Alex shrugs.“You guys worshipped him, he was an architect, had something to do with the starting the El line.”

“The House of El.”Clark confirms.“My house.Kara’s house.”

Alex isn’t sure why exactly those words bring with them a sense of foreboding, but they do.And Clark has locked eyes with her like he expects her to just understand this and she _doesn’t_.She has no idea why that is important.

“Wait…”Lucy narrows her eyes, leaning forward unsteadily and using Alex as her anchor.“You’re saying that an _architect_ started your line?Like you’re the direct descendant of a _God?_ ”

“Something like that.”Clark mutters.

“Diana theorized that the reason the twins were so powerful was because of their bloodline.”Cat puts in, also looking at Alex.“She thought that Kara and Kassandra were put here as a sort of promise of balance.One good, one bad.”

“Kids aren’t born bad.”Kate argues.“You can’t just put that on them.”

Cat nods approvingly.“I agree.But that doesn’t change the fact that if Mobius were ever to figure out who the twins were, he’d know that he’d have a direct connection to the World Beyond.”

“The _what_?”Maggie asks.

“It’s where the Architects are believed to live.”Clark says.“Supposedly, those in my bloodline have the ability to talk to them.My father left me a piece of his consciousness and said he used to have long talks with them. Which means—”

“—Kara’s a princess!”Alex startles, turning to glare at Lucy who had just shouted in her ear. To her credit, Lucy at least looks bashful, holding up an apologetic hand and easing some of her weight off Alex.“Sorry.Sorry I just… had that thought.”

Clark sighs and shakes his head.“It means that the connection is most likely real.That if either Kara or Kassandra _do_ join with the weapon, it wouldn’t be just us in danger.Mobius will take down the Architects too.”

Yeah, Alex thinks as her stomach drops to her feet.No pressure.

“How do we know that Mobius doesn’t know already?”Maggie argues.“Maybe that’s why he’s targeting them.”

“No.”Cat immediately refutes, exchanging a look with Clark.“He doesn’t know.Or didn’t.I don’t know how much Kara told James.Or what Winn told him.I—I can only say for certain that Kara’s identity at least was safe before she left for Taris.”

Clark nods.“And we don’t think he knew about Kaznia—Kassandra.Before Krypton was destroyed, Alura sent out a distress call to her sister Astra.Astra was meant to collect us and hide us away, but she didn’t make it in time.Luckily, Alura had planned for that and destroyed all of the genealogical records of our people.It probably confirmed that the children from the prophecy were from Krypton, but without those records he wouldn’t have been able to tell who was who.”

“Kara was raised to never speak about her sister to anyone but us.Never talk about her family name.”Cat frowns, heavy lines appearing on her face at this old guilt.“It was necessary to protect her.Between that and hiding her from the Force…Mobius would never have been able to find her.”

“And now?”Lucy asks.“I mean he’s got her, which kind of hints at him knowing.”

“The prophecy doesn’t say anything about our House.”Clark argues.“Which is good because it hides the fact that the Architects are in danger too.But it doesn’t change what we’re facing.I—We just wanted you all to have the information you’d need.You defended my family today which makes you all family.We can’t win if we don’t trust each other.”

Several tense minutes pass, everyone lost in their own thoughts as the weight of what they were facing settles over them.

Alex closes her eyes, thinks of that house and the large bathtub.There’d be so many puddles from Kara splashing around.Or maybe not Kara, maybe a little girl with Kara’s eyes and her hair and—She forces the image away, steels her heart as she closes that box and tucks it away into the far corners of her mind.

The world is thankfully not blurry when she opens her eyes, and she carefully tugs Maggie closer so she can loop Lucy’s arm around Maggie’s shoulder instead.

Then she leaves.

“Cap?”Lucy calls, voice tinged with concern.

Alex waves over her shoulder, feeling like she had when Lena had told her Eliza wasn’t in the bunker.“I just need some air.”

~*~

_Kaznia is stuck.She can’t see in front of herself; can’t see anything at all.That pull from before is still there but weak.Muted.And there are lights, red and orange and green._

_Her skin feels weird: hot and sticky.But when her body lurches to the side, her face making contact with stone, she’s suddenly freezing._

_There are voices that dance around her.Her body moving up and down, up and down.Hot and cold._

_It’s too much; not enough._

_She wants it to stop._

_It does._

_She’s not moving like before but she’s still bouncing.And the voices aren’t chanting they’re yelling._

_Someone’s chasing them._

_Them?_

_When Kaznia looks up, she sees Astra’s face, eyes pinched with worry.Her mouth is open like she’s yelling but Kaznia can’t hear her._

_And then they’re in the rain._

_And standing in front of them is a small army in dark black robes carrying red light sabers.Astra grimaces and puts Kaznia on her feet, removing her own lightsaber, a yellow blade that illuminates the dark walkway they’re standing on._

**_“_ ** _Stay behind me. **”** Astra commands._

_Thunder rumbles overhead and Kaznia can now feel the rain on her scalp.When she touches her head it’s to find her hair has been shorn off.And her arms feel short.A quick look shows her that her hands are small._

_By the time she looks at Astra again, she’s defeated all of the Sith warriors. A fact that infuriates Kaznia.Her heart pumps, demanding revenge but…_

_This is Astra._

_She can’t._

_She should._

_Her Master would want her to._

**_Are you still yourself Little Star?_ **

_What?_

_Astra turns to her, her hair, wet and loose around her shoulders as she offers her hand to Kaznia.She wants her to go with her and Kaznia can now see a ship in the distance, at the end of the walkway._

_She means them to leave._

_Kaznia is stuck._

_She takes a step back._

_“Little Star, come on.”_

_She takes another step back, Astra’s brow furrows in confusion and the elder takes a step forward._

_“Kassandra come to me.”_

_“It would seem you have a choice Master In-Ze.”The voice of her Master echoes through the air, surrounding them and sending a current of comfort through Kaznia’s being.She was safe now.Her Master would provide for her.“This girl is mine.If you want her; you will have to join me.”_

_Kaznia hears something.A voice.A woman in Astra’s ear._

_She’s telling her to run._

_She’s telling her to leave Kaznia behind._

_But then her Master’s red lightsaber appears in front of her face and pulls her focus, the heat of the blade distracting her from the voice the closer it gets to her throat._

_“Or you can let her die.”Her Master hisses.“The choice is yours.”_

_The muscle in Astra’s jaw jumps and she lifts her lightsaber like she’s about to attack but doesn’t.Clenches her hand and then visibly releases the tension to allow the weapon to drop on the causeway.Astra digs a hand in her ear and crushes the device she withdraws._

_“On your knees.”Her Master says.Astra obeys.“Swear your allegiance.”_

_Astra obeys._

_Kaznia is ripped away._

~*~

“So,” J’onn starts when he finds her later sitting under one of the engine bays and letting the dull thrum drown out the noise of the rest of the ship’s inhabitants.“A General now.Congratulations.”

“I never wanted it.”Alex admits after a brief consideration, pulling her knees to her chest and staring into one of the blue floor lights.“I wanted… to retire I think.”

“General’s do that.I did, after the Carthaki rebellions.”

“You told me to protect her.Did you know why?”

“No; at least not clearly.I knew she was important to the war but… ever since Mars, my connection to the Force has been… blurry.”

“They’re going to kill her, aren’t they?”

“If you allow them to.”

Glancing up at her mentor, at the man who had shown her how to be her own person, Alex can’t help but feel bitter.This was a hundred’s year old Martian. Almost everyone that had been at that meeting had been older than her.How was this all on her?Why did it have to be her problem?

“It shouldn’t just be on me.”Alex grits out, fingers clenching in agitation.“If she’s the key to ending the war than it should be on _everyone._ Everyone should want to help.”

“Everyone does want to help.It doesn’t change the fact that when it comes down to it, there will be a small number of people that decide the fate of the Galaxy.You will be one of them.I will not.”

“Lucky you.”

“Uneasy lies the head that wears the crown.”

“What?”

Chuckling, J’onn shrugs, crossing his arms and leaning back against the metal wall.“I hardly know. I heard a whisper of it once.”

“I don’t know what to do.”Alex says, “I don’t want to be the person that gets her killed.”

“Then don’t be.”

“I don’t want to be the person that gets us all killed.”

J’onn crouches in front of her, green face softer than she has ever seen it.“Then don’t be.”

“I want my mom.”Alex admits through a clogged throat.“I… I feel like if she were here, I’d feel better about this somehow.I know she would have said or done something to piss me off but I… I still want her.I want my mom.”

The silence that follows is stifling and Alex buries her face in her arms, trying to wipe away tears that will have no end is useless and she knows J’onn well enough by now to know he’s not going to judge her for _feeling._ For crying out her pain.He is patient as always, staying a silent sentinel by her side and waiting for her to wrangle her emotions back into a semblance of order before speaking again.

“There have been so many times over the years that I have prayed for a meaning behind what I lost.I still haven’t found one; death is meaningless, it exists only to show us how fleeting life is, but I have found that it comes for us all.Whether you get us through tomorrow, or you don’t, it will either matter very much, or in a truly short time I imagine, it won’t matter much at all.”

Words fail her, her eyes still stinging with tears as she processes his statement.Either they live tomorrow, or they die tomorrow.If they die, there’s a good chance Alex won’t know the difference.She closes her eyes and holds on to their house; her and Kara’s.Somewhere near the water, with lots of trees and sunlight.A shared lab and a huge tub… she could have that.She needs to believe that she can have that.

“I am very proud of you.”J’onn rumbles, joining her on the floor and gently reaching over to squeeze her bicep.“Your parents would be as well.And I know I am a poor substitute but if you need me, I am here.”

~*~

By the time Winn finds his laptop almost eight hours have passed.James had been particularly…passionate and he had been unable to move after their sexual adventures.Winn was no stranger to freaky sex, James had a rather vivid imagination and Winn was a curious guy himself, but this had seemed different.It had seemed like James had done everything he could to tire Winn out.Which meant he was hiding something.

Well ok, it wouldn’t normally mean that, but Winn was getting the mean heebie jeebies!His senses were on high alert complete with sirens and flashing lights.

Something was wrong.

James was hiding something.

Kara was missing.

He needed his computer.

Once he’d woken up and had assured himself that James was still asleep, he’d ventured back into the small suite and proceeded to begin his search through every nook and cranny, emptying drawers and closets as he went.He made sure to be quiet, James wasn’t exactly a light sleeper, but enough noise would wake anyone up.

And the entire time he couldn’t help worrying about the woman who had become his sister in all but blood.They’d sworn to look after each other.When Winn’s dad had ditched and Kara had been missing out on having a family, they’d sworn to be each other’s family.Kassandra had sworn too, although she’d been much more reclusive than Kara had ever been.For a time, Winn had been certain that Kara was the only thing the small girl had loved.And then she’d turned to the Sith and their entire world had turned on its face.

Kara was alone once again, and Winn was once more an orphan.

When you went through that kind of crucible with someone, you didn’t just let your boyfriend distract you with sex.You didn’t just leave them on their own.

Winn had made a promise and, as nonconfrontational as he was, he intended to keep it.Even if it meant building a war droid to go after Kara by himself, he would _not_ abandon her.Not ever.

His fingers brush over textured rubber in the back of a set of drawers and he silently fist pumps in triumph, pulling the heavy duty computer up onto the smooth surface of the kitchen counter.Why James had put his computer in the kitchen is beyond him, but again, the man is hardly a tech genius.

Booting up his machine, Winn patiently waits for his programs to load.Once he’s gotten a command line, he types out a script that will launch his memory files and watches as the videos begin playing.

He remembers Naboo, and the market and… why is James taking them into that shop?That hadn’t been on the plan.A sharp throb pierces his skull and he squints at the screen, trying to focus on what’s happening in front of him.Fear ratchets up his gut when he sees the shop owner morph into a large white alien monstrosity, tossing M’gann across the room effortlessly and leaving her in a pile of crumbled limbs.

_“Grab the kryptonite,”_ James whispers in his memory, handing Winn a green rock.He nods at the newly morphed human looking alien and they exit onto a speeder.

There’s a lot of video of travelling up a mountain that Winn skips, his heart dropping with every second of video he watches.Even though he can see what is happening, it’s hard to believe.James had been giving him orders, orders that Winn cannot remember and, in trying to do so send spikes of pain through his brain.

But James also loves him.

Winn is certain of that.

James had sacrificed a lot to be with him.He’d never told Winn why he’d left the rebellion but after Winn had heard what had happened to Maggie, he’d been able to guess.That James had been trying to protect him from that truth had to mean something… right?

It had to.

There was no way that Winn could have given so much of himself to a monster.

The last straw of denial is eviscerated when Winn watches James murder Diana and the Rebel leader at her side.And then when Kara falls…

He’d thought he’d seen enough when the him that was _not him_ shot Alex straight in the chest, hurtling her body through the air and directly off the mountainside.

But then James had leaned in, had cupped Winn’s neck as he passed him on the way to the transport.

_“Blow the mountain.Bury it.”_

It…

It as in Kara.

Bury Kara under a _mountain._

Mind reeling, he barely has time to stand.Stumbling back as he swipes his hand over his tear streaked face in an attempt to clear his rather blurry vision.

“You’re too smart for your own good sometimes.”James—the real present time James—murmurs from behind Winn.He looks between Winn and the computer screen, shaking his head woefully.“What am I supposed to do now Winn?”

Swallowing, Winn backs away from this man.This monster who he had thought loved him.Who had killed Alex and Diana… who had made _Winn kill them!_

_Had made Winn kill his best friend!_

James inches towards him, face darkening with each step until Winn has nowhere left to go.But Winn was a genius, the son of a serial killer and an engineer and Kara Zor-El’s best friend!Even if James wanted to end him here and now, he would have his revenge.

No one killed Kara and got away with it.

~*~

Peace was a lie.

Any chance of peace, of the rebellion or anyone who stood against the Sith, gaining peace was moot as soon as Kara saw the weapon up close.They would have never stood a chance.

It’s bigger than Kara had imagined in her mind.Somehow, even though she’d seen the blueprints and read the measurements, she’d still thought it would be smaller.

Stowing away on the Sith vessel had been difficult but not quite so long as she’d thought.It was probably due to her injuries and her body trying to heal itself, but she’d slept through most of her journey.

Either that or the cold.

She’d awoken only a few hours before they’d docked with the main ship and from there Kara had been able to hack into their system and download a map of the entire structure.If there had been any doubt in her mind that the tie fighter had led her to the Sith weapon, it had vanished with those schematics.For a brief second, she’d considered overloading the consoles in the rooms she saw on the security feed but then she’d thought better of it.The purpose of her being here wasn’t to be a senseless killer.

The purpose was for her to join with the weapon and carry out her prophesized life.

Cut Kassandra down.And everyone who stood with her.

She’d do that by following the plan.

She just hadn’t expected something so large.She could stand the Ebon Hawk up on its edge and it still wouldn’t fill the space that the weapon’s ceiling reached.Maybe two of the Hawks.

The window is as Alex said, a thick plane of magnifying glass that stretches from the floor to the ceiling.A few feet from the only exit or entry to the room stands a console that Kara presumes operates the now sleeping device.At the moment the large tubular structure lies dormant, the silver paneling reflecting only the artificial light from the lamps in the room. There’s a glass barrier on the covering facing the room, allowing Kara to stare directly into the tube and, on the side tucked below the floorboard is what looks like a maintenance entrance.

Kara eases her fingers between the seams and pulls, satisfied when the door hisses open.

Easy.

Floating next to her, Myxz bumps her in the head as if to ask if she’s sure.

She is.

The Sith had built this weapon to tap into the very heart of the Force.To channel it to their own purposes.Kara’s best guess was that they planned on using the weapon to use Force abilities on a large scale.She can just imagine what it would be like, to be able to Force choke an entire planet.Her anger rallies inside of her but she tempers it.Knows that through that passionate rage she will find her strength.And through that her power.

There would be no one left to stand in their way.

As terrifying as that amount of energy was, Kara can’t say that she’s very afraid of it.

She can’t be.

Not now that she’s going to be the one to wield it.

Ever since Diana and Antiope had told her the prophecy, had told her she would need to murder her own sister to save the galaxy, Kara had been prepared to die.On some level she’d known she wouldn’t have been able to do it.

Every time she’d even come close to Kas, she’d only been able to remember her sister.The one who’d tilt her head when she was confused; who’d look masterfully ignorant when they were being questioned after one of their many pranks; who read books like they were her sole source of entertainment.

They’d come into this world together.

Kara had been working up the courage to make sure they left it together.

Until Alex.

Meeting her Zhao had changed things.

At first it had made Kara believe that there could be a life after the war; that she and Alex would fly off into deep space and get lost in each other beholden to no one and no thing.

That dream was obviously dead.

And with it any reservations Kara had had about her choices.

End Kas or end the galaxy.

Ending Kas would mean ending the Sith, ending the people who had taken Alex from her.

Unfortunately, her sister would be a necessary loss.There was simply no way Kara could leave this life knowing that Alex’s murderers still breathed.If she’d been more rational, she would have remembered that all Alex had wanted for her was an escape from the prophecy.She’d wanted Kara to have a fair shot at being normal which decidedly did not involve killing your sister.Vaguely, she knows that it’s not right for her to be this calm and focused after a tragedy; that she’s shutting down emotionally.

Sadly, all she can see is Alex crouched over her.All she can feel is Alex’s hand, firm against her back.All she can hear is Alex promising her that she would be ok.

She wasn’t, Kara thinks as she steps up to the machine, fingers tracing over the frame of the console before tapping the screen awake.Could never be again.

Emotions are what had gotten her into this mess, and she didn’t need them.Maybe the Sith were right, maybe all that mattered _was_ power.Kara certainly had a lot of it and now that would lead to her victory.Through victory… her chains would be broken.

If there’s one thing she’s grateful to Winn for, it’s that his “friendship” taught her so much about computers.His knowledge combined with Brainy’s made it ridiculously easy for her to access the main system and boot the weapon up.

It was almost poetic, that his skills would be what led to his demise.

Her throat burns with the pain of it.

The center of the tubed hall begins to glow, a blue light becoming very clearly visible as the energy accumulates.Kara watches it grow, feels her body tremble under the weight of what she has to do.Every part of her hurts and she aches for Cat.With everything that had gone wrong, she could really use some words of wisdom right now.

But they’d taken her too.

They’d taken everything.

There’s a moment, a brief inconsequential second, where Kara thinks she feels the Force trying to warn her away.It makes her hesitate, makes her think of Alex and what she would say right now.

Her hands clench at her sides and she steps into the light.

Alex would tell her to end it.

So she will.

The Force shall free me.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Remember that nice calm Alex who would laugh at Kara and Winn's antics? Or even the rather annoyed but patient Alex that played by the Council's rules? Yeah. She's gone. Lane got a taste of what the new Alex is and she's sick of everyone's bullshit politics.
> 
> Maggie gets the promotion she deserves. Vasquez gets reinstated with benefits because if she's gonna risk her life for the rebels she should at least get healthcare. And Alex tells those fuckers what's what and gets a promotion of her own.
> 
> Then that little tidbit about Kara's lineage comes out and the stakes just got that much higher. Direct line to the Architects. Raise your hand if you think Mobius knows what he's doing.
> 
> Kaznia...
> 
> Yeah, she sacrificed herself to save Kara. Kara thought the adults closed those doors but it was her twin yeeting her into space. Then Kaznia tries to heat vision Darth Maul (yeah of course he's in this, used to have a HUGE crush on him. Don't ask) to death and gets caught. That's her deal.
> 
> I told you guys I ripped her backstory from The Old Republic's character Vaylin. If you watch the Vaylin trailer you'll see Astra's rescue attempt in full cinematic glory. The gameplay is *not* like the trailer though, very pixelated and, if you have a sucky connection, slow. There, Vaylin's mom is dragged away by the Temple Guard (I think they were temple guards it's been a while). In this one, Astra's "partner" tells her to get out of there but Astra doesn't listen. She chooses her brainwashed niece instead. Who do you think was on the other end of that call? 0.o
> 
> I tried writing those flashbacks as quick intangible memories because that's how Kaznia experienced them. There wasn't room for long descriptions because she's taking in what she can as those memories flash before her eyes. Does beg the question of how deep that rabbit hole goes...
> 
> Winn finds his laptop which is a rough blow. I'll go a bit more into this as we progress but for all my non-Star Wars fans (and even actually my star wars fans), there are Force Powers called Memory Rubbing and Mind Control. So James would essentially control Winn and then scrub his memory. Now that I'm writing this I realize it would have been easier to just have the white martian impersonate Winn but! uh I'd already written Winn finding out through his memories and I know way more about Star Wars than I do about White Martians. So... yeah.
> 
> Kara...
> 
> She's done it.  
> She's joined with the weapon.  
> Our poor Girl.
> 
> For anyone not familiar or anyone who didn't catch it, that excerpt with her has the Sith Code written in it.
> 
> Peace is a lie, there is only passion.  
> Through passion, I gain strength.  
> Through strength, I gain power.  
> Through power, I gain victory.  
> Through victory, my chains are broken.  
> The Force shall free me.  
> —The Sith Code 
> 
> I guess having everyone you know and love either die or betray you can be a strong argument for the Dark Side huh?
> 
> As James said, "what are we supposed to do now Winn?" (-_-)


	28. Ch 26: Turn Around Bright Eyes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kaznia spirals; Winn faces James; And Alex's plans get blown to shit.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Quick Note: I've read all of the comments but man has quarantine made me very lazy in responding. I'm trying but in the meantime, someone asked about Dox communicating with Kara and that is a very good question so I thought I'd address it where everyone can see. (if anyone else asked a question I'm not ignoring that, it's just this is the only one I remember.)  
> Dox isn't an implant in Kara's head because she's still a Kryptonian and surgically implanting anything would be extremely difficult. His interface was built into her suit and yes, he can still access it BUT he and Kara are lightyears apart. Even in Star Wars there are distance limitations in communications. It's the same reason no one knows where Myxz is. Right now Alex's tracker is the only thing that's leading them.
> 
> So THIS one is the last "slow" chapter. Then... let the chips fall where they may.
> 
> Song: Total Eclipse of the Heart

“What’d you do to me?!”Kaznia hisses, clutching her head and keeping a watchful eye on Astra’s movements.There are voices in her head, quick and incessant chants that are peeling apart nerves and muscles, reminding her of her mission and purpose.“ **What did you _do?!”_**

“I did nothing.”Astra answers, still sitting in the lotus position completely unruffled by Kaznia’s apparent breakdown.“You are breaking through to who you are.”

“Astra.”The name feels like a curse, all of the images she had seen feel like lies, that hand is an entire arm now—two of them.Whatever was trying to claw its way to the surface would not let her rest.

“Your Master doesn’t plan to herald in a new world order.He is seeking the galaxy’s annihilation.”

“ **You’re _lying_!**”

“What did you see?Did you see Kara?”

“Who _is_ that?”

Astra’s lips thin and, when she stands up, she brushes off the legs of her pants as if Kaznia is the one harassing her.“Little Star, it is time for you to come home.I cannot help you anymore; you need to find it for yourself.”

“Why must you talk in riddles old woman!?”Kaznia growls, stalking close to Astra but fighting against the urge to throttle her.“Who is Kara?”The fear that name conjures is almost overwhelming; the emotions Kaznia had believed herself to have conquered for years coming back with a vengeance.Loss and desperation and pain.“What did you put in my head?”

“I didn’t put anything in your head.Your Master did.Ask yourself: what would he have to gain by making you weak?”

“I am strong.”Kaznia refutes.“Stronger than I’ve ever been.”

“You are a mess.”Astra clucks her tongue, glancing over Kaznia with disapproval.“You stand there sweating and shaking like a human child at the mere mention of the truth and you believe yourself strong?”

“Who. Is. Kara?”

“You know who she is.You just don’t want to accept the truth.Your attachment to the Dark Side is blinding you; just like it did back then.”Something flashes at Astra’s waist and she unclips her comm-link, lip curling at the ID.“You should stay here; decide the path you want to take because once you’ve chosen, there truly won’t be any going back this time.”

~*~

“Alright Little Man,” Otis coaches, crouching next to Mikhail as he helped him adjust the training armor he’d been fit for.“This stuff is real clunky at first but you get used to it after a while.The trick is to not move too fast.”

“Sith are all about speed.”Mikhail argues, maneuvering his arms this way and that.He feels like he’s in a plastic cage.Who in their right minds thought this was a good armor design?“This is humiliating.”

“Aw come on.I think you look great.”

“Otis.I cannot tell you how much I hate this.”

Otis nods, rubbing a thoughtful hand on his chin.“Good because I don’t really wanna hear about it.Ready to get out there and show those other recruits how it’s done?”

As humiliating as this all is, Mikhail can’t help but feel an excited thrum.Ever since he’d landed at this stupid facility he’d been trying to think of ways to get back to Kaznia.His training as a Sith was still incomplete and no matter that Kaznia would deny it, Mikhail knew that she needed him.Besides Astra, there was no one on that stupid ship who’d even cared about her.Who would help her go over her tactics?Or remind her to eat and sleep?Or get her to relax with a game of chess?

She needed him and he would do everything in his power to get back to her.Right now that meant proving himself here.If he caught the right attention, he was certain that someone would make the right calls and remind Kaznia that she had a student worthy of her time.

Everything would be better once they were together again.

“Yea—”

“Graves.”Someone speaks through the comm-link at Otis’ hip.“We’re moving out, Admiral’s orders.”

Whipping the comm up to his mouth, Otis waves a hand like the person can see him.“No, no, no.We’re not supposed to move out until the next—”

“Do I sound like I care about what we’re supposed to do?Admiral sent the orders, get your unit topside.”

Well it looked like Mikhail wouldn’t have to work so hard after all.Fighting a smile, he tries to keep his face carefully blank when a scowling Otis crouches beside him again.

“You stay by me.”Otis demands.“I don’t care who tells you otherwise, you tell me and I’ll take care of it ok.I’m serious Mikhail; I know you think you’re the next Sith Lord but right now you’re just a kid and I’m in charge.Got it.”

“Yes sir.”

Otis points a warning finger at him.“Say you got it.”

The promise was fairly easy; Mikhail had no issue staying with Otis until he saw an opportunity to get to Kaznia.As soon as he saw her or Astra, he’d be gone.

“I got it.”

~*~

Revenge had somehow seemed a lot easier when James had been the only one in the room.Winn had been dreaming of wrapping his hands around his boyfriend’s neck and squeezing the life from his stupid lying murdering body until James had lifted his head and whistled.

Immediately the door to their suite had opened and a large white monstrosity had walked in, its body built on muscle and heavily ridged bones.Winn recognizes it as a White Martian now, some part of his brain offering him the information as the ground shudders under the weight of the beast’s stride.The claws on its feet scratched at the floor and there was the putrid smell of decay from the open maw on its face.

Next to the Martian is Astra.

Kara’s aunt.

Winn almost wets himself.

He hadn’t known the woman well; the few times she had visited the Academy she had devoted herself to spending quality time with Kara and Kassandra away from anyone else.It had been, Winn remembers, some of Kara’s best memories.Her aunt was why Kara collected stars. Kara had been Astra’s Little Sun and every visit Astra would bring her a gift marking that namesake.

Kassandra had been her Little Star.

And Winn knows that the woman is evil now; that for some reason Astra had gone over to the dark side with Kaznia—hell she might even be the reason _Kas_ had gone dark—but he still remembers how happy Kara had been in the woman’s presence.The clear love between the two.

So either she had been so polluted that even the people she’d loved were no longer safe from experiencing gruesome deaths—

Or she’d still loved Kara and was now here to exact her revenge.

Winn wouldn’t blame her.

If he hadn’t been being controlled by the asshole formerly known as James, he would have gladly killed himself for what he’d done.

As it is, he’s finding the rage inside of him wants to kill the bastard more than he wants to die.

At least he still has his priorities.

“Can you mind wipe him again?”James asks, sounding more like he’s asking for the weather than to destroy the trust Winn had placed with him.

“Not without permanent damage.”The Martian rumbles, shrinking down to human form, which in this case was a tall black dude with a bald head.New rule: never trust bald guys!“You would not want it after that.”

James sighs despondently and gestures to the floor.“Then I guess you should get on your knees Winn.”

Something hums to life behind him and when Winn looks, he sees Astra holding up her lightsaber.

Maybe he’d been a bit too presumptive when considering revenge.Kara had always been the muscle but with enough time and resources, Winn had been able to hold his own.He wasn’t known as the best hacker in the galaxy for nothing.

Regrettably, he had neither time nor resources.James had stripped him of most of his tech.Even his less known stuff, the tech Kara and Dox had helped him to design, wouldn’t do him much good.He was fairly certain James didn’t know about it, but it wasn’t like any of it was offensive.

A hard shove sends him to his knees, and he’s embarrassed to realize that he’s crying.

After all of this and he can’t even go out like a man.

Astra sees.

“There is no shame in your fear young man.This is not an honorable death.”She raises her lightsaber all the same and Winn clenches his eyes closed.He’s terrified and tries to focus on something else.Tries to think of his best friend and maybe seeing her again.That’s what they say right?That you see your loved ones again when you die?Kara had always gone on about rejoining her family in Rao’s light.Maybe Winn would be welcome there is he could explain…

Would he get that chance?

He didn’t want to be alone.

God please!

Please.

His fingers curl into his palms, nails biting in as every muscle tenses in anticipation for the blow.

It never comes.

A solid thump in front of him has him jerking back, eyes springing open to see the fallen body of the White Martian in front of him, a smoking hole in his chest.The shock is followed by more disbelief when sparks of heated light shatters over his head and he looks up to see Astra and James locked in a duel.

James is clearly no match for the older woman, but he _does_ have a lot of Winn’s tech on him that give him a startling advantage.Winn scrambles for his laptop, focus darting between his screen, his keyboard, and the ongoing fight.

“I told Mobius he couldn’t trust you.”James sneers.“Your line is weak; held back by your allegiance to the light.”

Astra doesn’t answer James’ taunts, the discipline and skill in her movements more than enough to speak for her.If she were _only_ fighting James this fight would be over already.

As it is, she’s also fighting Winn a little and he’s typing as fast as he can to even the odds.

“Do you honestly think you can save them?Mobius knows who they are now; you have no chance.”

Winn had just typed in the last few commands, James using the shock bracers Kara had built for him to send Astra to her knees, when James throws his lightsaber at him.

At Winn.

Somehow, until that moment, Winn had still believed that James had loved him.If even only a little.

He slams his pointer finger on the “enter” key and dives to the right, the nanites that he’s built into his clothing coming to life and taking the glancing blow of the saber for him.His shoulder gets scorched but at least it’s still there and his hastily written program has done its job.

Every piece of tech that Winn or Kara had built for James, every electronic device, had been set to self-destruct.

James is inundated with over 150 volts of pure electricity, body convulsing wildly as he locks eyes with Winn.It’s a terrible thing to watch but Winn can’t look away.

James is dead before his body touches the floor.

Which leaves Winn to face Astra.

He’s got nothing.

“I didn’t mean to.”He babbles.After all, if he’s going to die, he needs at least _one_ person to know his truth.Even if that one person is a megalomaniac.“I would never have hurt her.I—”

Astra marches over to him, hauling him to his feet and studying the wound on his shoulder rather roughly.

“Of course not.Olsen used one of the forbidden Force abilities to manipulate your mind.It was the one and only power he had that the Cisar could use.Making people do his bidding and then using the powers of the Martians to make his victims forget.It’s the only reason he survived this long.”

“And now he’s expendable?”

Satisfied that Winn isn’t bleeding too badly, Astra reaches towards her fallen opponents next and starts divesting them of anything she finds useful.

“To me, yes.”She grunts, flipping the Martian over.“My nieces have reached the point of no return.I believe I can now reach Kassandra, convince her to forsake her Sith Masters and join your cause but Kara…”

“I’m sorry I—”

“Did everything you could to protect her.Thank you for your efforts human but we do not have a lot of time.”Astra stands again, attaching James’ lightsaber to her hip and stalking back over to Winn.“As we speak my niece has infiltrated this ship and makes her way towards their machine.They planned for her to join with it.”

“Kas?But—”

“No.Kara.She is not dead; she is here, and she is angry.She believes you betrayed her and your friends.That you killed them all.”

“I… don’t understand.”

This was a lot.Winn had just _seen_ for himself what had happened.He’d seen himself drop that mountain on Kara.She’d been helpless.How could she have survived that?

Astra huffs her impatience.“The Sith need a power source for their weapon.They meant it to be Kassandra, but she is too useful to them.Kara isn’t.”Scowling, Astra resets, eyes taking on a far-off look as she explains her side of things.“When the Sith came for Krypton they were looking for the children described in the prophecy.My sister burned the archives so that no one from our Houses could be tracked.They found Kassandra simply because she was using the Force to defend herself against the attack.The power behind it meant that it could be no one else.For years I worked to keep my niece safe the only way I knew how, certain that Kara had perished, and that Kassandra was the last of my family.”

“Wait—hold up!You’re a _good guy_?”

“For now, I am on your side and that is all you need to be concerned with.My only purpose is to keep my family safe and right now Kara isn’t.Olsen revealed her true identity to his Masters and they have been plotting for years for this moment.”Head shaking in agitation, Astra grabs Winn’s computer from the floor and pushes him and it into a chair.“Their machine is Force based, a direct connection to the entity that flows through all living elements in the galaxy.With Kara as the conduit, they will be able to affect change on everything.”

“Like blowing up planets.”Winn whispers, remembering Alex’s theory.

“That is child’s play.”Astra refutes.“The Cisar has discovered the ancient texts of the Architects and in them, a process that will forever destroy the balance of the Force.”

“And that’s bad?”

“Shut down the weapon.”Astra orders, opening his laptop when he stares at her blankly and poking the screen violently.“Can you do it from here?”

“I umm maybe?”Astra glares and he quickly nods, bringing up his programs as he begins hacking the Sith— _The_ Sith’s—mainframe.“Yes.Yes, I can.”

“The Force was created to be in balance, any disturbance would send the galaxy into chaos.No one was meant to be only one thing but somehow he is; all he knows is anarchy.Imagine if you could only ever feel the emotion of anger.Just that for the rest of your life.”

“Ummm… no thanks?”

“Once the chaos has taken hold, the Cisar will feed on the destruction and become even more powerful and there will be no one left to stand against him.We cannot allow that to pass.”

“Right.”Winn mumbles, getting past the first firewall with little difficulty.Now only about twelve more to go.“But just one question… why would _Kara_ willingly hand herself over if she thinks everyone’s dead?”

Astra’s mouth pinches down, her brow furrowing.“My niece has lost too much.On Yavin, I tried not to harm her, but I fear the sight of me only added to her pain.And I can only imagine what Diana told her; she herself believed I made the wrong choice in choosing Kassandra.”A heavy sigh comes from the older woman and she suddenly looks every one of her years.“With your betrayal and the apparent loss of her Zhao, Kara is without anchor.She means to destroy those who destroyed her.”

Eyes widening, Winn spins in his chair, Astra immediately grabbing him and directing his focus back to the screen.“Like me?She’s coming for _me?_ ”

“She does not know of your innocence so yes, I suppose.But she is full of rage and hate at the moment, the perfect weapon for the Dark Side.How long will this take?”

“A few more minutes at least.I need to—”

The room sways, Winn’s body lurching to the side before he catches the edge of the table and rights himself at the unexpected shift.Startled he looks up at Astra who has a hand on her chest, the stark streak of white in her hair matching the complexion of her face.

“Oh.”She whispers in horror.“Of my Little Sun.What did you do?”

~*~

“Are you sure you’re up for this?”Alex questions, tightening the straps on Nia’s seatbelt along her shoulders and chest.

“Um I don’t really think I have a choice, do I?”Nia glances down at what Alex is doing, her own fingers curling around the bland grey bands and giving them an experimental tug.“End of the world you know?”

“You have to be ready.”Alex argues, smoothing out the straps and giving Nia a firm look.

They’re in the main area of the transport that will take them to the Sith’s ship, their allies flocking around them as they too get ready.Lucy’s already at the controls awaiting Alex’s signal.

The plan is simple: While the Sith fleet faced the full might of the Rebel army armed with Max’s shielding technology, Alex would lead a small team down to the Sith’s weapon consisting of Lena, Maggie, M’gann, J’onn, Vasquez, Clark, Kate, Dox, Nia and herself along with a contingent of clones.Lucy will be the pilot and, while she will fly them down, she will not leave the ship.

Alex had given strict orders.She wasn’t going to be an ass and bench Lucy again, but she also wasn’t going to allow her to get herself killed.Lucy was nowhere close to being battle ready but, injured or not, she was still the best damn pilot in the galaxy and Alex would be an idiot not to use every advantage they had.

Even without involving her feelings for Kara, this was the galaxy’s last chance at salvation. If they didn’t win here, that was it.

Game over. 

“Are _you_ ready?”

“Not even close.”

Nia gasps; half laugh, half exclamation of fear.

“Just stay close to Maggie,” Alex soothes, dropping a hand to Nia’s shoulder and squeezing.“You go where she goes ok?No matter what anyone else orders you to do.You listen to her or you listen to me.That’s it.”

Much as Alex would have preferred having Lena at the helm of the command, she understood quite well that, as a Jedi Master, the woman would be much more valuable in the field.They’d lost enough Jedi to the Sith that they needed every available Force user on that ship with them.Which left General Lane in charge of command.

Luckily, as much of an ass as the man could be, he was also an extremely skilled tactician.If he didn’t let his head get too far up his ass, they might actually win this.

The clones would provide cover fire; M’gann and J’onn would hold off any Sith onboard and Nia, Dox, and Kate would plant charges along the way.They’d need to blow it behind them as they left.

Lena and Clark would go after the Cisar with Vasquez providing cover.

Maggie and Alex would go after Kara and Winn.

“I’d rather stay with you.”

“No, you wouldn’t.”Alex shakes her head, a grimace overtaking her face at the thought.“Not even I wanna go where I have to.”

“But Kara—”

“Won’t be alone.”Lena warns, coming up behind them and cocking her hip.“The Legion will have swarms of soldiers and droids guarding their weapon.They will seek to kill not disarm.General Danvers will need all of her attention in separating the Kryptonian from the weapon and, barring that, kil—”

“Thanks Lena!”Alex grits, shoulders tensing in anger.“We’ve got it.”

The Jedi Master stares at her profile for a long moment before dipping her head in acquiescence and disappearing further into the ship.

“Geeze,” Nia breathes, “who hocked in her breakfast?”

Alex stoops slightly, gripping the back on Nia’s neck and shaking a little.“You stay with Maggie.If anyone comes near you—”

“I know, I know.Punt them into the sun.”

“With a sledgehammer.”

“General.”Dox barks, startling them both as he takes the seat next to Nia and begins to strap himself in.“I am pleased to inform you that the Hawk’s repairs have been completed and I have set a course to meet us at the drop site.”

Alex blinks.“That was fast.”

“Indubitably!It was with my arduous plea that the droids we left behind promised to do their best and most expedient work.I have no doubts you will be incredibly pleased with the results.”

“Right.”Alex mumbles.It’s not that she isn’t happy the Hawk is ok, she’s just not sure what role it could possibly play in the upcoming battle.By the time it arrived, Alex and Co would already be well into the fight.Still, it never hurt to have backup.“Uh good job.”

Behind her, M’gann grimaces, staggering into Alex and rubbing a hand over her chest in agitation.“What was in that food?I feel like I swallowed lava.”

Frowning, Alex catches her and looks to Lena for an answer; it was after all her ship and thus her food.But the Jedi is hunched over in agony, J’onn’s hand on her shoulder.Realization sinks in even as she looks over her shoulder at Samantha Arias and finds the other Jedi in a similar state of pain.Clark!

Kara’s cousin has his teeth bared, fingers digging into the metal lined wall as he suppresses a scream.

“We’re too late.”Nia whispers.“Alex… what do we do?”

The world around her fades down until she can barely see what’s in front of her eyes, the edges of her vision going slightly grey.Words and noises have no meaning, filtering into her conscious through what feels like a heavy wall of water.

Kara had joined with the weapon.

Kara had joined with the weapon.

“Get them off the ship!”Lucy swings herself from the cockpit, vaulting over the chairs with her arms and landing on her good leg.She hops a little to regain her balance before setting the other one down and grabbing at a clone.“Any Jedi, get them off the ship _now!_ ”

“Alex.”Maggie calls, unstrapping herself and grabbing Alex’s shoulder.“Alex, we’re ok.We’re good.”

The clones grab the affected Jedi, ten of them in total and carry them back onto Lena’s cruiser.The only ones who wouldn’t be moved are Clark and J’onn.

“I’ve experienced this pain for almost half a century, I can survive it for a few more hours.”J’onn rumbles, eyes focused on Alex with concern.Clark has taken a meditative pose, sweat beading on his forehead as he focuses on separating himself from the contaminated energy.

It’s not just the Jedi who are affected either.Apparently, it’s anyone who is Force sensitive; anyone with even a hint of mitochlorians.Which is why M’gann had complained of chest pain.Why both Maggie and Kate look uncomfortable.Even Vasquez…

The army awaiting them will be full of dark force users.Astra and Kassandra will be down there.

With only J’onn…

She stumbles when the ship sways and Maggie steers her into the cockpit and the co-pilots seat.“Seal the hatch!Lucy get us the fuck out of here!”

“General Lane!”Lucy calls into her headset, fingers flicking over buttons on the console.“Dad!We need to go _now_!Jump us—the weapon was activated.”

“Copy that Major!Ready for hyperjump in 3.2.1.”

Usually this would be the moment where the clear white aura of hyperspace would wash over the bay windows, but all Alex has to tell her they’ve entered hyperspace is the overwhelming g-force that slams her into her chair.The plan called for them to be on this smaller ship for espionage purposes, tucked into the large holding dock of the Rebellion Battlecruiser.They’d painted the small transport all black to blend in, with only a small opening for Lucy to be able to see.The rest would be up to the navigation systems.Once Lane jumped them to the weapon’s location, the Sith would swarm the ship and as soon as they exited Hyperspace it would be Lucy’s duty to get them to the weapon undetected.

These last few moments were the only ones they would have left together.

“Alex.”Lucy urges, satisfied with her preparation and turning to face her friend.Her hand slides over the side of Alex’s neck.“Cap.We’re getting home ok?We just need to do this one thing and—”

“We can’t.”Alex breathes, “not with… if she’s already—”

“We don’t know that she’s completely joined with it yet.”Maggie says calmly, “this could just be the beginning, but it means that we have a very short window to get down there.It means we might still have a chance Alex.”

Shaking her head, Alex tries to pull away but is held closer by both women.Kara was gone, she was as good as dead and—if Alex had been distracted when she’d been falling for her, her head is completely fucked now.She can’t even think passed the fact that she’d taken too long; she’d waited too long, and she’d failed.She’d failed the Rebellion, her friends...

She’d failed her mother, who had now died for _NOTHING!_

Everything she’d ever done had been for **nothing**!

Kara was—

Fuck!

“I fucked it up.”Alex stammers, “she trusted me and I—he was right.Lane was right and—god, I can’t do this.I can’t—"

“You can. _We_ can.We’ve got this Alex.”Lucy promises, pressing their foreheads together and squeezing the back of her neck so that Alex is forced to focus on her.“We’ve got this.”

“But your dad—”

“Is an ass.I love him but he has no _idea_ what you are capable of.Say it Alex.Say we’ve got this.”

Her head hurts, it feels like every bad thought she’d ever had has set up shop in her brain and is attempting to break out of her skull.

“I was supposed to get you home.”Alex croaks with a heavy heart.Lucy’s face falls and Alex doesn’t dare to look towards Maggie.“I was supposed to get you home.”

It seems like Lucy doesn’t really have a response to that.All she does is release a wet cough and look towards the nav system.They don’t have a lot of time.

This is going to be a massacre.

The end of the rebellion.

Because of Alex.

“I’m home.”Maggie says with forced indifference, drawing both the women’s attention.“You two are my home.And Kate.And Jamie.You’re my family.”

Lucy nods, slowly at first but then gaining confidence.“Yeah.Yeah, I guess if this is it then I can second that.”She looks back at Alex with a watery smile.“Looks like you don’t have to get us home after all Cap.We’re already there.”

“We need you Alex.There’s no way I’m living in a world where the Sith win.Not if there’s still a chance.”

“It’s impossible.”Alex says already shaking her head even as her brain kicks all of the interlopers out and starts reorganizing.

Maggie rolls her eyes.“Let’s pretend for a second that it’s not.”

“It is.”

“Yeah but you say the same thing about my flying.”Lucy argues.

“And my penchant for getting in trouble.You’ve got this Alex.”

Lucy shakes her head.“ _We’ve_ got this.”

Alex sniffles but nods, pressing her head harder against Lucy’s and feeling Maggie do the same on her other side.They sit there, taking another moment to center themselves and prepare for the inevitable.One last perfect moment with her friends by her side.

A moment that is ruined when spindly arms wrap around the trio and a large sigh gusts off of her cheek.

“Even though we’re all going to die now, I really love you guys.”

Shrugging Nia off of her, Alex wipes at her face and quickly walks over to where J’onn is standing next to the maps.

Ok.Ok.

“New plan.”

~*~

“Well.I hope you have a good excuse for this.”

Kara spins, blinking away blue light and trying to get her eyes to focus.There was no way she could have heard—

No.She was…

But…

Slowly, her surroundings come into view.Not that there is much to them.It’s just blue Space and, sitting on a chair in the middle of it looking extremely unimpressed, is Diana.

“I… you died?”

“Yes.And all for you to join with the Sith weapon anyway.”

Completely befuddled Kara shakes her head.“But—”

“Oh, stop it Diana!It’s not like you made some grand sacrifice.”Antiope comes from behind her, reading from a book as she drops into a seat that appears next to Diana.“You were caught off guard.That’s hardly her fault.”

Diana scowls, folding her arms and slumping down like two year old.It’s the most undisciplined Kara has ever seen her Master.“I can’t believe I was killed by _Olsen._ Do you know he squeals when he’s in bed with Winn?Like a—”

“Diana!”Kara screeches, forgetting the absurdity of the moment in favor of slamming her hands over her ears.“Can we not?”

“You let her spend too much time among the humans.”Antiope comments.“They’ve turned her into a prude.”

“I am _not_ a prude!I just don’t need to hear about my friends—my…” Well she wasn’t really sure what to call them anymore. “Winn and James’ sex life.Am I dead?”

“No.Unfortunately.”

Antiope folds the corner of her book page so that she can send a scolding look to her former padawan.“Diana.”

“What?She’s destroying the galaxy!I’m supposed to be _proud_?”

“No I’m not I’m—I’m _ending_ the war!”

“You sure are—ow!”

Finally setting her book down, Antiope stands and strides back over to Kara.Gently resting her hands on the girl’s shoulders, she waits for Kara to meet her eyes before speaking.“Youngling, you are in pain.Joining with the Force in this state would have only ever fed the dark side.”

“No I—I set my intention.I bent the Force to my will.”

“And what did you will it to do mighty Scion of the Great House of El?”

Petulance doesn’t even begin to describe the level of shame and anger that overwhelms her.Antiope had been dead for years and yet here she was, judging Kara for her decisions.Decisions that she had been forced to make!Kara wants to tell her that she’d told the Force to end the war and rub it in her face but unfortunately that’s not true.She may have turned into a different person, but she was still a terrible liar.She could sense that, even in this realm, both of her mentors would see right through her.

Here are two of the greatest Jedi who had ever lived.Women who had given their lives for her and now… Kara feels extremely petty.Until she remembers that they’re both dead; that _Alex_ is dead.

“To destroy my enemies.”

“What right do you have to their lives youngling?”

“I am _not_ a youngling!And you’re dead!You’re _both_ dead!You left me to deal with this on my own and now—this was my choice and I’ll live with it.”

“Except you’re not.”Diana says lazily, peering at Kara over Antiope’s shoulder.“You’re stuck in here, same as us.”

“So then I died for the greater good.”Kara grits out, years of frustration and pain bubbling beneath her skin.She feels untethered, without any sort of hold on the emotions she had so carefully hidden over the years.The anger that she had shelved in favor of making sure that the galaxy was safe.That no one else would have to see their world end.

Unfortunately, Diana keeps on, prodding at the open wound that Kara has become.Diana had never been a coddler, and it appeared that even as a dead woman, she had not changed in her ways.Whatever truth she wanted Kara to see, she would _force_ her to see it.

“No, _we_ died for the greater good. _You_ … are currently throwing a galaxy ending tantrum.”

“THIS WAS THE ONLY WAY!”Kara bellows, ripping herself out of Antiope’s hold.“THIS WAS—WHAT DID YOU WANT ME TO DO?”She bats Antiope’s reaching hands away, scowling when tears start falling heavily down her face.Impatiently, she scrubs those away too as she unloads the last few days— _years_ of trauma on the Jedi.This was _their_ fault.This was what they had raised her to do and now… what? She was the one in the wrong?“DID YOU WANT ME TO JUST LET THEM WIN? ** _YOU_** TOLD ME TO KILL HER—YOU TOLD ME!AND WHAT? NOW YOU THINK I WOULD CHICKEN OUT?!I **WON’T**!I DIDN’T!”

Antiope tilts her head patiently, as if Kara wasn’t screaming in her face and they were just having a normal conversation.It makes Kara even angrier.“What do _you_ think you should have done Kara?As you so humbly stated, we’re dead so really the only opinion that matters is yours.”

Incredulous, Kara stalks away from them.Of course, Antiope would turn this back on her.Of course she would—Kara had spent the last few days thinking of a way around the prophecy.With Lucy and Alex… she’d thought she might be able to escape her path.That maybe _she’d_ get a choice in all of this but… She’s spinning back on her heel moments later and jabbing a finger at Antiope’s chest.“The right thing would have been for _you_ to be there.It would have been for _you_ to make these decisions!But you left me to do this alone!You _all_ left me!”

“It is a terrible thing,” Antiope remarks calmly, “to be a survivor.”

Kara’s throat closes and she gives up on seeing.

“I was a kid.”She warbles.“I’m just a kid.”

Antiope sighs, a sad sound that Kara barely makes out.“You were born of the Force and… this is not a destiny I would have wished on anyone my padawan.I am so deeply sorry for the things we have asked of you.”

Sinking to her knees, Kara grasps at her chest, trying and failing to gain control of her breathing.There’s simply no way that she would be able to… her body feels heavy, her limbs pulling her down even as the last dregs of strength she has keep her from a complete collapse.She wants to die.This would all be so much easier if she were dead; if she could just be with her family again.

With Alex.

“You made the wrong choice.”Diana says, finally standing and putting herself between her master and Kara.Her eyes are hard and flinty but there’s a softness to the corners of her mouth, a weighty feeling of resignation that drags at Kara’s heart.“And I am very disappointed in you padawan.”

Kara’s eyes burn and, though she tries to swallow her pain, her throat rebels and emits a sob instead.And then she’s crying so hard that she can’t stop, pulling her knees to her chest so she has somewhere to bury her face.

“ _What did you want me to do?!What was I supposed to do?!”_

“The right thing.”Diana says, crouching so that they’re at eye level once again.“Now the remaining Rebels—your friends— _Catherine_ —they will all die trying to undo what you have done.”

“They’re already dead!”Kara rages, “joining with the weapon was supposed to avenge them!”

“The Jedi do not believe in—”

“I AM NOT A JEDI!”Kara rolls to her knees, shoving uselessly at Diana’s shoulders.“I was never meant to _be_ a Jedi!I refuse!”

“Because you believe our inaction took something from you.That we robbed you of a chance at love.”

“ _Yes!”_

“And now you rage because you believe your own inaction, your inability to see through James Olsen’s deception has cost you the same thing.”Diana shakes her head and rests her forearms on muscled thighs, taking Kara in as if she were a stubborn child in need of a scolding.“Your rage; your anger and your pain have always been your downfall padawan.Even now you refuse to see the truth.”

“And what,” Kara grates, “is that?”

That she’d killed Alex; that she’d killed her friends?That the entire galaxy would now end because of her?When all she’d ever wanted was to save it?Even if she’d wanted the title of a Jedi, there was no way she was worthy of it now.No Jedi would ever stoop so low as she had.None of them had been responsible for the death of their soulmate.

Alex had been there!She’d been right _there!_ Kara had been _touching_ her!And somehow she’d still lost her.Had lost Cat and Lucy and Dox…

Diana…

That was the truth.Kara had failed and she was not _worthy_ of redemption; her only recourse had been to try to do what her friends had asked of her.To end the war.Apparently, she’d failed at even that.What more could Diana ask of her when Kara had proven time and again that she could not be trusted?

“That even having made the wrong choice, you are still alive with the chance to make the right one.Is your vengeance truly worth the price of your soul?”

“I can defeat them.”Kara insists, voice trembling even as she tries to maintain her air of confidence.

Diana sighs, lifting a hand to cup Kara’s tensed jaw.“If you choose to remain here, you will only serve as their victory.The Sith _will_ drain you of everything you are, and they _will_ eradicate all life as you know it.And once they have finished with the Galaxy, they will begin their search for the Architects and start their plan anew, using the power that you helped them cultivate.”

Heart lodged in her throat, Kara crumbles once more, her body shaking violently.

“I made a mistake Kara.”Diana says, gently stroking along the back of her head.“And for that I am truly sorry.I should never have given you such a burden.”

“We were both at fault padawan.”Antiope soothes as she brings a hand up to Diana’s shoulder.

“At fault for trusting me?”Kara sobs, “for t-thinking I was capable o—of saving p—people?”

“For trying to compel you to turn against your own instincts.Since you were a child you refused the way of violence, always looking to verbal resolutions rather than physical conflict.”Diana shakes her head fondly, “it drove me mad when you would broker peace between thieves and shop owners.I didn’t understand it—or you.And I tried to change you.I thought I was preparing you for the future, but your friends were right.Killing was never in your blood.”

“I _tried._ I thought… this way it would all happen at once and I wouldn’t be able to freeze.If I just… if I just asked the Force to just do this one thing… if maybe… but now—"

Diana nods, “I know.We cannot change what happened Kara, but we can change what happens next.What do _you_ want to do?”

The answer is easy.She can say it without thought

“I want to go back and help the rebels.I want to finish what I started.”

“Then you shall.”

Shaking her head, Kara tries to stop crying, dashing tears from her eyes fruitlessly.“I can’t.I can’t do this alone.”

“My child,” Antiope intones warmly, “no one is ever really gone.You are one with the Force always.You are never alone.We are **_always_** here by your side.All of us.”

Kara blinks up at her, taking in a face she had dearly missed before the words really resonate with her.Wait a second…

“All of us?”

Turning to Diana, Antiope exchanges a mischievous grin.“All of us.”

And suddenly, stepping from the blue light are hundreds— _thousands—hundreds of thousands! _Men and women and everyone in between.All coming from this Force realm to surround Kara in support, some wearing grim expressions of war but most grinning in lighthearted anticipation.

“Now, what do you say we go show the Cisar what power he has truly awoken?” 

~*~

Barely five minutes has passed in real time by the time General Lane tells them they’re coming out of Hyperspace.

J’onn still looks fine but Lois has taken to massaging Clark’s temples.Alex had had no idea how Clark had intended on being of any use in this battle, but he’d been relentless.It had reminded Alex of Kara and how she’d refused to leave Taris without helping the people of the Undercity.

Seems being a good person was a genetic trait.

In remembering Kara, she also remembered a gift she had given her when they’d first met.Luckily, Alex had been sentimental enough to grab their belongings from the Hawk before leaving it in the hands of the Gungans.Once she had finished breaking down their new strategy, it had been quick work to go for Kara’s bag and withdraw the neural inhibitor Kara had used their first time on Yavin.She had helped Clark fit it over his head and it had seemingly at least taken the edge off.

So one and a half working Jedi was what they had on hand.

Definitely a shit show in the making.

“Exiting hyperspace in 3. 2\. 1.” 

~*~

Darth Kaznia follows behind Cisar Mobius, the disappearance of Astra only mildly concerning as they prepare for the final phase of their plan.The woman had proven herself more than capable and Kaznia trusted her to return unharmed.Whether or not Astra would be on their side remained to be seen.

Or.Not _their_ side. For a while now Kaznia had been wondering after the true nature of her Master’s plans and the past few hours have been very… revelatory.

If her mind was to be trusted than this man had stolen her memories; stolen who she was and turned her into this person who was ready to create mass destruction in the name of order.

For years she had awaited this moment, this golden opportunity to finally bring lawfulness to the galaxy.

There would be no more senseless violence or thievery… chaos.Kaznia would help bring in a new age; one where the people bowed before real power.It was a silly thing choice, but in the face of security there was hardly any other option but to remove it.Any liberty these people thought they were owed would be culled.The Legion would offer them so much more than their pathetic lives were worth.

That’s what she had thought.

She’d been so certain of herself.

Her time with the Witches…something had changed.While they’d been searching for their target, using her bond with the Force to track down this Jedi, they’d… _broken_ something.But not something of Kaznia, she’d meditated for days and had been unable to find a flaw within her mind.

No, whatever they had broken had been put there by someone else.

_You must not lose yourself again,_ Astra had said.Kaznia doesn’t think she has.

_Your attachment to the Dark Side is blinding you; just like it did back then._

She feels like… there’s more of her somehow.

Something nags at her mind, some tingle of desperation that she must quickly squash.Whatever it is can wait.

Kaznia was about to meet her destiny.

_Choose your path._

They march quickly through the halls until they finally reach the tall sliding doors of the atrium.In the center of the room is a circular machine, wrapping around the main supporting column.A tube, two times Kaznia’s height with large windows set in its metallic frame, is mounted just above the desks.The windows are evenly spaced and take up the majority of the structure, but the metal is clearly what is holding it together.Atop the desks, the computers stacked side by side are giving off different arrays of data, flickering lights all showing positive readings.

The entire ship is built around this room, the sweeping bay windows circling the entire space allowing anyone to see outside into the glowing orange sky.She watches as the pulsing energy from the tube sweeps out of their ship, a wave imperceptible to the human eye rushing towards the nearest planet and engulfing it in mere minutes.

Another reason her Cisar had chosen this location?The planet’s older yellow sun would be able to power his defender while he absorbed the energy of the Force.

Even now she can look into the machine and see the frenzied blue energy whipping back and forth.

The process had begun.

Watching with a wary eye, Kaznia doesn’t speak when Mobius lays a hand over the blue light.The energy jumps out of its orbit, dancing and jumping around Mobius’ fingers before sinking into his skin.Her Master inhales sharply, a satisfied sound that rumbles through the room.Whatever had just happened makes Kaznia want to take a step back, her instincts telling her to leave right now.

She doesn’t.

She stands her ground. 

“Guard the entrance,” Mobius commands, his gravelly voice coming from beneath layers of dark heavy cloth.His hand reaches out again but this time, before the energy can sink into him, he lays his rough hand on Kaznia’s cheek.“Make sure I am not disturbed.”

It feels like pain; like hate the likes of which Kaznia hadn’t even believed possible.But the power…she’s drunk on it.A heady feeling that makes her body tingle, fingers itching for a fight.

Kaznia bows her head, spinning on her heel as she moves to exit.

“And Kaznia!”She halts, awaiting her last command.“If you fail me, I will take your pet.”

It’s a struggle to keep the image of Mikhail from popping in her head but she does so by sheer will.As far as she knows the Cisar does not know his face and as long as that is true, she’ll have a chance of protecting him.Nodding once more, she quickly exits the room and begins walking to a more defensible position.

Her eyes burn but she ignores them.

Her feet want to leave the ground but she forces them to respect the laws of gravity.

The power surge from the machine may be distracting but, whatever else happens, she cannot fail the one person she has left to her.Mikhail would survive; even more so he would thrive.Without the burdens and mistakes that Kaznia had made in her life.

No matter how much she may not like it Kaznia was beginning to realize, through no small part of Astra’s and some humility of her own that while her quest for bringing order to the galaxy was noble, her superior’s plans were not.He had made a mistake in threatening Mikhail; Kaznia had believed her ward would have been in danger before but to hear it from her Master.After she had been a loyal servant for all of these years.

No.

As much as she hated the current Republic and the way they handled things, Kaznia had no desire to wipe out its people.Her grudge lay with the politicians and Jedi Council; anyone who had sat by while _children_ had been slaughtered.While her—

_Kas!_

Hiding a wince, she steers her thoughts back to safer territories.She could not lose herself in painful memories in this state.There would be no controlling what came if that happened.

When this was all over, she would find that voice; she would track down whoever had been calling to her.

This Kara.

For now, she has someone she cares about, and she can no longer deny what’s at stake now that he has been threatened.

The Witches whisper in her ear; cull her thoughts with tempting words but Kaznia ignores them, allows the anger that’s brewing to further feed her connection to the Dark Side.

Kaznia’s new mission is to kill her Master.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some of you said that Kaznia knew who she was last chapter because she saw some of her memories and that she was now going to be a force for good. In the show when she confronted Lex about his clear deceit, Lex was still able to manipulate her into following orders. Sorry kiddoes, couldn't be that easy. In this case, Kaznia *has* seen some of what she lost but those are just images in her head. She feels no attachment to them. That's like if someone showed you a video of you sparring with like Rocky or somebody. Is it cool? Yes. Did it happen? Probably not. But don't worry; Red Daughter figured it out eventually, I'm sure Kaznia will as well. Right now her focus is on protecting Mikhail.
> 
> Speaking of whom, our eager little Sith in training is on his way :). Nothing bad could possibly come from that right?
> 
> Astra... is a good guy! Yay! Finally cleared up without any more questions. Someone theorized this but yes: one of the reasons that Astra chose Kaznia was because she thought Kara was dead. She'd joined with Diana to search for the twins and could only find traces of Kaz (because Kara was stuck in the phantom zone). Rather than lose them both, she chose the twin she still had and Diana thought she'd also chosen the Dark Side. Jedi tend to be a little hoity toity about that; any interaction with the dark side automatically makes you a Sith kind of deal.
> 
> So Winn killed James. I know some of you wanted it to be Alex but... Winn had to do it. I mean that was his boyfriend and his best friend. He had to choose.
> 
> Alex has her panic attack but don't worry... she's got this. See what I did there? lol. Best laid plans of Mice and Men...
> 
> And then Kara... Force Ghost Diana is a lot more laid back then alive Diana but she's still a bit of a hardass huh? Kara really was doing what she thought was right but she really screwed the pooch this time. Aye yi yi. Poor kid. Luckily Antiope was the voice of reason and for the first time ever, the Jedi were able to be on the same page. No killing, just good old fashioned hero work.
> 
> Lastly, at the end there, why yes Kaznia did get polluted by her own sister's pain and hate. Whatever could that mean? Only good things surely.
> 
> And so now we're in it. We're in... the End Game. 0.o
> 
> Also May the 4th be with you :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :)


	29. Ch 27: Then You Better Prove Your Right

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lucy almost kills everyone again; Mikhail goes to war; and Kaznia gets a star.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Mother's Day out there to any moms! You guys are super heroes.
> 
> Song: Michael Jackson- Scream

“What the hell was that?!”Otis bellows, unstrapping Mikhail and hauling him to his feet.All around them Storm Troopers and recruits are assembling, rushing into their squad lines as the carrier they’re on flashes red warning lights and sirens.“Were we hit?”

“By Rebels.”Manchester confirms, flipping a deck of cards in his hand.“Looks like this really is the big time fella.”

“When do we dock?”

“5 minutes.”

Otis spins around to face his small team, Mikhail standing front and center.He’ll prove himself today.This is his chance.

“Alright listen up men: we’re about to dock with central command which means well be in the thick of a massive attack.A lot of you haven’t received all of your training yet but I want you to forget about that.Today isn’t about training, it’s about surviving.The Rebels _will_ kill you; your options are to die like men or live to see another day.”Otis turns a heavy look on Mikhail.“There are no heroes here.”

Something screeches loudly and then the ship lists to the left.Most of the recruits fall over, even Otis staggers, but Mikhail forces himself to remain upright.

He’ll show them.

He’ll show them all.

~*~

The hangar opens and they free fall into the vacuum of space; none of the engines or lights on as they careen away from General Lane’s cruiser.The gravitational forces pull them into an orbit that shoots them back and away from the wave of tie fighters that have just exited from the behemoth Sith ship in front of them.Summoned upon the Rebel fleet’s arrival.

It's much larger than Alex had truly appreciated it would be.

Looking out the small windshield in front of her, she blinks in amazement as the weapon they’d been tracking for months comes into view.The weapon is spherical, the size of a moon at least, lit up from within and teaming with signs of life.It looks more like a space station than a weapon and, almost as soon as the rebels appear, the Sith launch their countermeasures.The ship comes _alive._

By comparison, their small little jet could probably fit inside of the Sith’s ship at least ten thousand times over.With a glorified death trap that is as inky black as the space around them, Alex can’t imagine how many combatants are on the field.And she’s going in with a rag tag group of people who had been disowned by the resistance and had no Force abilities of their own.

Great plan Alex.

Fucking hell.

Also, while the gravitational pull that the weapon-ship-planet is creating has served its purpose in keeping them undetected and away from the tie fighters, it is also sending them into an uncontrolled and nauseating tailspin.Alex’s body jerks against her seat and she hears more than a few people cry out as they’re thrown around.Any longer and the thing will literally be torn apart.

Luckily, if anyone know how to fly them out of such a debacle it’s Lucy.

Just before their ship can crash and burn, Lucy flicks on the engine, one hand gripping the controls tight as she tries to steady their wild jerking with nothing but her own strength and a loud shout of defiance.Alex is slammed back into her seat again as Lucy throws everything they have into the port side boosters.The gravitational pull is daunting for a powered ship or even a large one; for a small ship that’s as cold as a corpse… Alex has never seen anyone come out of that.

But Lucy had said she could do it, so Alex had trusted her friend with her life and, consequently, the life of the quadrillions of people across the galaxy.

No pressure.

Lucy yells again, lips pulling back against grit teeth as she pulls the ship into a startingly flip—the same maneuver she’d pulled during the Kessel run—and somehow miraculously out of the loop.They shoot clear, the first step to their plan accomplished mostly painlessly.

That is until they return right side up and Alex sees nothing but the hazy blue of a containment shield.

Her heart stops and everything around her that had seemed too fast and too loud, slows down and becomes eerily quiet.The Storm Troopers and Sith soldiers in the hangar bay all pivot towards them, incredulous that they’re going to attempt to breach them on their own ship.

Little do they know that this part was an accident.Mostly.

Doesn’t make it any less shocking.

Lucy has enough time to whisper “oops” right before they hit and the world speeds up again.

~*~

“ _She started the weapon_!?”Winn screeches, still pulling up programs and typing task kill scripts on every weaponized system in the damn base.“Why would she _do_ that?”

“Because.”Astra grumbles, “she believes you killed her Zhao.And the rest of your team.”A huge sigh leaves the older woman, as if all of her years have caught up with her at once.“She believes herself to be alone.This is her revenge.”

Which is completely understandable.I mean, all things considered, Winn had kind-of-maybe-sort-of- but-definitely-not-on-purpose-because-like-mind-control, shot Alex out of a mountain.Like maybe.

But did she die?

According to Kara yes.

According to the Rebel ship that just hyper jumped into their airspace?Winn is gonna guess no.

And if Kara is powering the weapon that can kill them all because she thinks Alex is dead and therefore wants _Winn_ dead, and _Alex_ is on her way to the ship after getting shot by not-him then… 

Winn shoves his chair back, hand poised to shut his laptop screen when Astra grabs the back of his neck and shoves him back into the chair.

“Your fear is commendable.You are ridiculously small and have no battle skills whatsoever.”

The fact that Astra says this like it’s a compliment is extremely confusing.What was he supposed to say to that?”

“Eh…. Thank you?”

“You’re welcome.While your fear is respected, I need you to refocus your intelligence on shutting that machine down.”

“Me?”Winn squeaks, his hand folding in towards his chest.“You want _me_ to shut it down?Did you not just see what that thing can do?!”

“And if you don’t stop it, it will continue to do that.To thousands of worlds.”

“Even the Legion wouldn’t—”

“The Legion is ruled by a megalomaniac whose sole desire is to challenge the architects that created the galaxy!”Nostrils flaring, Astra leans over Winn, her body nearly parallel to his own cowering form.“Do you have any idea what he’s done?What he’s capable of?”

Winn thinks of Krypton and Kara stuck to that sheet of glass and the first time they’d learned Kas had gone dark.He thinks of James.

“Small idea.”He breathes, closing his eyes in fear of what Astra might do to him if she didn’t like his answer.

But she’s gone in the next breath.Astra’s stance is still rigid but she’s not threatening him anymore and her face is schooled in disciplined aloofness once more.

“Yes,” she murmurs, giving him a thorough once over.“Yes, I suppose you do.”Then she visibly shakes herself, her eyes hardening again as she argues her case.“Mobius is what some would call an Old God; a direct descendant from one of the Architects.A few centuries ago, he managed to track down his wayward ancestor and request a place in their realm.”

“Realm like… a planet?”

“Realm like an entirely different universe.”Astra’s hands are clenching and unclenching at her sides, yet another sign that Winn is in grave danger.“Diana and I were Temple Guardians, sworn to protect the realm from the people of this galaxy.But when Mobius went looking for the twins…”

“I don’t understand.This is… a lot.Too much.Who even is he?”Winn slouches back in his seat, the death grip he’d been maintaining on the chair slackening at this new knowledge.If Mobius had Old God blood in him, then what hope did they have of defeating him?

“That doesn’t matter right now.What matters is the short version; that they cast him out and he’s been seeking a way back in ever since. This weapon,” Astra says, sweeping her hand back at Winn’s monitor and the live feed of machine in action.“Was designed to take the Force that is inherent in almost every living being and warp it into what he calls antimatter.He calls it the anti-life equation; as the Architects gave us this galaxy and essentially life, he plans to take it all away.The remnants of what’s left will fuel his own power and he’ll eventually be strong enough to not only return to the Architects but also destroy them.”

“Dude…”

“I’ve slowed him down for years.But now I need your help.I can’t destroy that thing without killing Kara and… I need you to find me a way where that doesn’t happen.”

Already spinning in his chair, Winn immediately starts typing.“I’m on it.”His eyes flicker back up as movement catches his attention.Frack.He can’t lose focus now.If he’s going to help Astra, maybe she could help him?“Uhm… General In-Ze ma’am?Do you think you could maybe hopefully stop Darth Kaznia from killing my friend again?”His program fails again, and he curses and then a thought occurs to him.“Or are you not like _completely_ on our side?Are you just like partially redeemed or like—”

“Kaznia will not harm them.”Astra growls, eyes watching another monitor all together.When Winn looks, he sees Mobius at the machine and his stomach drops.”

“Shut down the weapon.”Astra orders, striding towards the door.“I will see to my niece.”

~*~

“Fucking hell Lucy!”Maggie complains, the wreck of their small ship having thrown everyone around the small space.“Did you ever think we should be fit enough to fight the Legion rather than just getting us here?”

Alex is silent, her entire body stiff and achy as she tries to catalogue her injuries.It’s only when Lucy doesn’t answer that she turns her head to try to see her friend.A ceiling panel hangs between them so it’s a bit of a struggle to get it off and clear her viewing field but when she does, she’s happy she spared the effort.

Lucy is slumped back against her seat.The brace Alex had made for her leg is still intact, but it hardly matters when the front end of the ship has dropped onto Lucy’s lap.There’s a brief flare of uncontrolled panic before Alex wrestles it down and reaches over for a pulse.

Her fingers have barely even touched Lucy’s neck before she’s being swatted away.

“Don’t touch me Cap; I’m too busy trying to figure a way out of this.”

Alex licks her lips, trying to force calm into her voice.“We can—”

“Shhh.”Lucy says, “still thinking.”

“Alex.”Maggie calls, and Alex realizes the crew in the back can’t see them.“Are you guys good up there?”

“We’re good.”Lucy calls back, ignoring Alex completely.“I need to find us transport off this thing though.Pretty sure this one’s fucked.”

A low chuckle sounds from the back and Alex swallows, unbuckling herself and trying to see how badly crushed Lucy is.Maybe if she got a crowbar?J’onn was strong enough to put pressure on it and then Alex would just have to pull.She’d just have to—

Her plans are interrupted by a loud screeching sound, the metal around Lucy’s legs bending up and out seemingly of their own volition.It isn’t until Lucy whispers a quiet, “thanks princess” that Alex even notices that Kara’s somehow managed to find them.Find them and pry the broken airship that’s pinning Lucy back into shape.

And then hop up on the windshield…

A searing pain flares through her side, the lightsaber skewering her as she protects Lucy with her own body.Alex doesn’t even try to hold in the scream, using the pain and the rage at this newest betrayal to her advantage and turning to kick the blonde woman away from their ship.There’s a millisecond of clarity where she sees Kaznia’s veins go green with the poison of Kryptonite and then the Sith Lord is being thrown back by the force of Alex’s kick.

Good.Fuck her for using Kara’s face against them.If it hadn’t been for the Sith reddened eyes Lucy would be dead.

“Cap!”

Quickly unbuckling Lucy, Alex grits her teeth against the pain, looking up when the broken pieces of ship that had cut her off from the rest of the team are forcefully removed.J’onn stands there, taking in the scene with a grim look of determination.Once he sees that Lucy is fine and Alex is well… breathing, he gives her a wink and allows the others to get past him.

“Get them out of here!”Alex orders, hand hovering over her side.There’s no blood, the lightsaber would have cauterized the wound, but there is an alarming amount of pain.This burns like nothing Alex has ever known.“Go!I’ll hold her off.Find the weapon and shut it down!”

Nia looks panicked but Alex doesn’t have time for that, instead turning to grip Lucy’s head and shaking her a little.“You get your ass on a ship.Get back to Lena—”

“Not without you!”

“Fuck you Luce; just go.For once in your life _listen_ to me!”

“I did listen!We _all_ go home!You promised!I’ll find a ship and I’ll wait for you!”

Alex swallows and shakes her head, the taste of copper lining her lips.“Lucy…”

“I will _wait_ for you.You do what you need to but I’m not leaving this rig until your boots are onboard Cap.So get your ass in gear.”

In front of them, Alex can see Kaznia standing, the initial shock of Kryptonite wearing off as she moves to square off against her opponents.Alex growls and presses a hard kiss to Lucy’s forehead before turning to Maggie.

“If both of you aren’t on that—”

“I’ve got it Alex.”Maggie promises, even as Alex kicks the rest of the windshield away.“Just stay alive!”

Then she’s sliding down the hood of the ship and facing off against Kara’s sister.

It’s disconcerting how much they look alike; like someone literally printed the same person.But there’s a hardness to Kaznia that Kara had never possessed; an ego that makes her smirk cruelly at Alex.It feels very distinctly like a game of Cat and Mouse and Alex doesn’t want to play.

She fiddles with Kara’s staff strapped to her back, and then pulls it out in front of her in a guard position.Kaznia laughs.

“Do you really think you can fight _me_?”

“Yes.”

“And win?”

“Yes.”

“You are a fool.I will strap your corpse to our canons and send you back to your friends in pieces.”

Wow…

“That’s really fucked up.”

No longer waiting, Kaznia bares her teeth and attacks but Alex is ready for her this time.Ever since Yavin, she’d thought about this moment, had strategized on every possible way she would have to beat a Kryptonian Jedi.The Kryptonite in her boots works, it helps to slow Kaznia down and allow Alex to block all of her strikes.Kara’s Force imbued staff works a lot better against a lightsaber than Alex’s kortosis blades do, but Alex doesn’t have nearly as much practice with the weapon as Kara had.It’s a learning curve but it still leaves her and Kaznia evenly matched in terms of dueling skill.A conclusion the Sith also comes to as she slowly backs away from Alex with a look of grudging respect.

“Do you honestly think I will let you kill me?”

It’s a question that Alex herself has thought about; just how hard Kaznia would fight to stay alive.To go down with her Legion.There’s a difference between a killed opponent and a defeated one.Kaznia had never seemed the type to go down alone and Alex had prepared herself to go down with her.

Until now.

Until this moment where she’s facing, not just a kid that the Sith kidnapped and brainwashed, but Kara’s _sister._ Who looks so much like her they might as well have been the same person.Who read Kara to sleep every night when they were younger.Who’d put herself between her sister and an entire army of adult Force users.

She deserved a chance.

It occurs to Alex at this moment that no one had ever given her one.

“You look like her you know?”Alex says instead of answering the question.“You’re sister.”

Kaznia scowls, her lightsaber held lazily near her hip.“I don’t have a sister.”

“You do.Her name is Kara.”The name is hardly passed her lips before Kaznia is attacking her, her lightsaber a flurry of movements that Alex can’t keep up with.She throws the staff into a high guard, catching the intense red beam and using her free hand to engage a red sun grenade.Kaznia yelps, stumbling backwards and rubbing at her eyes in disbelief.Alex presses her advantage just enough to land a blow to the side of the Kryptonian’s head, Kaznia’s face snapping to the side and stunning her enough that Alex feels she’s bought herself some time.

“Her name is Kara.”She repeats.“And she misses you very much Kassandra.”

“ **Shut up** _!How do you know that name!?_ Tell me!”Kaznia leaps at her again but at human strength she’s less likely to break Alex’s arms off with the strength of her blows.Thrusting her hand out, she falls back on her Force abilities, but she’s slow enough from the Kryptonite that Alex can dodge the brunt of it.

It merely serves to push her back a few steps.

“I know that name because I know her.We met on Taris and we became friends.You met her on Yavin 4.She said your name.”Kaznia yells and Alex easily dodges her next attack, doing a barrel roll to the side and coming up behind her assailant.Unfortunately, her wounded side flares up at the last second and she barely manages to stagger into a standing position.A development that Kaznia seems hyper interested in.“She could have killed you, but she didn’t.She couldn’t.Because she loves you.”

Unfortunately for Alex, her time with angry Kaznia has run its course.The glare is still there as is the clear hate she feels for Alex, but the blind rage is gone.It’s been replaced by years of ironclad Sith discipline.Tightening her grip on Kara’s staff, Alex braces herself, channeling all of her body’s hurts into an imaginary triangle in her brain.

She can do this.

She can do this.

~*~

Leaving Alex had been a supremely stupid idea in Lucy’s opinion.

For one, she hates the idea of Alex going anywhere alone.Maggie agrees.Of the three of them, Alex is the most likely to get herself killed and that’s _with_ Maggie getting her ass kidnapped all the damn time.Honestly speaking, _Lucy_ was the most responsible one in their party.

But did they ever listen to her?No!Damn womp rats the whole damn lot of them!See if she offered her insight ever again!See if she—oh.

“Myxz!You beautiful asshole get over here!”Her droid squeals, spinning towards her and rushing through the air.Of course the rest of her team stop to look at her like she’s crazy but that doesn’t deter her in the slightest.They’d been walking for what seems like ages and this entire stupid ship all looked the same.Spotting her droid was easy; figuring out what the hell Myxz was doing on a _Sith_ frigate was a whole other issue.Hopefully her little guy hadn’t been reprogrammed.

That would suck so bad right now and Lucy was already having a shitty day.

She’d known when she’d signed up for this trip that the odds of her destroying the first ship would be pretty damn high but she’d kind of hoped to find some sort of transport vehicle to get her to the Sith hangar and steal a new ship.Not hobble around with Maggie keeping her upright.

As a career military girl, Lucy had her pride and _this_?Being the weakest link on her team?That really sucked.

A soft boop of metal smacks against her head and pulls her from her thoughts.Maggie grumbles when Lucy swings her arm from over her head, but she needs to check on her baby and make sure he was still a Rebel.

“What are you doing out here huh?”She coos, “how’d you get here?Were you—dear god!”

Dox appears at her side, one finger raised.“He said Kara brought him here.That he tried to talk her out of it, but no one listens to him.”

“Yeah, you and me both buddy.”Lucy says with an eye roll before Maggie’s smacking her in the chest.“ _Ow!”_

“Can he find her?Can he lead us back to where she is?”

“Yes.”Dox states very matter of factly.“He says it would be his pleasure except that the Cisar is—oh… well… that _does_ complicate things.”

“What?Dox _what_?”

“The Cisar is with Kara; he is pulling energy from his machine and it is killing her.”

Maggie curses.

“May I suggest we split up into teams?”J’onn steps forward, ever a calm and commanding presence.“Major Lane, we need transport—”

“We have transport.”Dox interrupts.“I _told_ you all the Ebon Hawk was on the way.The rather brutal battle taking place amongst the ships should only delay it by 13 minutes.It shall arrive in hangar G-12.”

What kind of stupid ship had _that_ many hangars?It would take forever to find that!

“I don’t suppose anyone has a map?”Lucy grumps, allowing Myxz to nuzzle against the side of her face.“Or a tour guide.”

“Of course.You have one right there.”Dox points at Myxz.“Our shared friend has been getting a lay of the land if you would.”He laughs as if that’s a joke but Myxz bobs with him so maybe it’s a droid thing.“He says he can take you there, but it is heavily guarded.”

“I’ll go with her then.”M’gann says.

“Me too.”Lois bumps her way to the front.“I’m not leaving my sister behind.”

Maggie nods.“Ok.Ok, so you get the Hawk and we rendezvous with everyone else.”

“Yes!”Dox exclaims.“That sounds like an excellent plan!And, now that my comrade has caught me up, can I realign our expectations for legal purposes.The chances of our success are indeed no longer 67 percent.”

“Yeah?We go higher?”

“No.I am sad to say that we have now dropped to twelve percent.Which is time sensitive and depends largely on whether we get through the next few steps of _my_ plan.”

They all pause to stare at Dox, confusion building when the newly born android simply stands there.

“Well.”Lucy huffs impatiently.“What’s your plan?”

“Oh!We must find Winn of course!He must plug directly into the weapon’s programming core which is all the way at the top of this rather monstrous ship.”Dox nods.“It will take us quite some time to reach it.You all will need to keep us from being killed.Nia Nall!”Nia jumps.As do the rest of them.“It would be most prudent for you to accompany me and provide a shield while Winn and I work.”

“Yeah, that means I’m going too.”Maggie says. “J’onn you’re with me.Everyone else set the charges and rendezvous.Do. Not. Die.”

~*~

Kaznia watches the human in front of her with disdain.The expectation is that the rebel would be looking back at her with just as much contempt but instead all Kaznia sees is… empathy.

Its off putting.

Kaznia is about to kill this woman and yet she’s looking at Kaznia like _she’s_ the one in need of saving.Like Kaznia is somehow the one who is in trouble.

To make matters worse, that hand that the witches had released is struggling again, crawling back over the ledge.She’d thought her meditations with Astra had alleviated that particular symptom.Would have solidified her decision to kill Mobius and thus rid her of this ghost, but now, here at the end of her journey, it’s returned thanks to this rebel.

Her face makes Kaznia’s gut churn; makes her remember dreams of comfort and hope.She can still feel the ghost impressions of those hands on her body, a caress of lips.

It’s disgusting.

She doesn’t want these feelings; this sense of missing something important.

The easiest thing to do is to kill it but this human has come prepared, the small artillery she’s brought able to reduce all of Kaznia’s skills.

It’s enraging.

“She doesn’t want you dead.”Alex says to break the silence.“She wants you to come home.”

Kaznia bares her teeth.“I have no home.And your precious _Jedi,”_ she spits, “is probably dead by now.”

To her surprise, Alex doesn’t get angry.She doesn’t take the bait and attack.Instead she looks down at her boots with a heavy nod, shoulders lifting in a helpless shrug.“Yeah.Yeah I know.Which is why I’m here trying to do one last thing for her.”

“Save me?”Kaznia asks, teeth bared at the idiocy before her.“I do not need your help.I know of your tricks _Alex_.”

Confusion grows on Alex’s face, her brows furrowing even as Kaznia presses that small advantage and attacks again.She slashes at Alex’s right side with her lightsaber, expecting the parry and internally gloating at her success.Humans were simple minded creatures and, in defending her life, Alex had also given Kaznia the perfect opportunity to take it.

The human had never had a chance, her face reddening as Kaznia uses the Force to lift her into the air.Her intention had been to make this quick, to crush this Alex from within and be done with it but that damn hand has invaded her thoughts and made her soft.

Kara.

She _knows_ that name.

And Astra had never told her who that Jedi really was; why she looked like Kaznia.

_You **know** who she is._

_That’s for bullying my sister._

_Kas._

She grimaces, squeezing her hands tighter as Alex’s body begins to convulse.If she could do this, finally end the phantoms in her dreams, then maybe she could return to what she was.

_Did you keep yourself Little Star?_

When Alex falls, Kaznia is almost worried that she actually had killed her.

Almost.

But the rebel is coughing and grabbing at her side and she knows that, for now at least, she will live.

Still… she isn’t quite sure what to say.She desperately wants to know the truth; almost as desperately as she doesn’t.

It feels like whatever happens next will truly break her and Kaznia’s been broken enough in her life to know that it’s not something she wants to go through again.

Ever.

“How…” Alex hacks from the ground, pressing her forehead into the hard floor.“How did you know my name?”

Kaznia doesn’t answer, hauls Alex up by the material of her shirt and dangles her in front of her face.“Where is your proof of this sister?”

Whatever evidence Kaznia had been expecting, it was not for Alex to reach for her hip and provide her a _bag._ Kaznia would have been more comfortable with some half created story than this: real solid evidence.Gingerly, she takes the bag, releasing Alex but keeping a wary eye on her as she carefully opens the bag.

It's not evidence.

It’s trinkets.

Broken trinkets.

“They were stars.”Alex croaks, already dropping so her hands are resting on her knees.“She collected stars for you from every planet.Said your name was—”

“—Little Star.”

Astra.

“Yes.”Still breathless, Alex lifts her head long enough to give Kaznia a piercing look of encouragement.“There’s a crystal from Krypton all the way in the bottom.It’s cracked but I think I got it to work.”

Kaznia easily finds the one mostly whole item in the bag and lifts it out carefully.A yellow crystal, a memory stone.

Her thumb rubs over the crack as knowledge she’d seemingly misplaced filters through her mind.She’d forgotten Krypton.She’d forgotten—

~*~

_“Kassandra Zor-El, daughter of Alura, great knight of the realm, poetic genius, last of her kind—”_

_“I can hardly be the last of my kind when there are two of us Kara.”_

_“Lies!” Her twin exclaims, glaring at her from her spot on top of the hill, hands poised on her hips like some gallant hero in a storybook.“There will only ever be one you Kas!”_

_~*~_

_“I can’t control it.”Her hands shake, and she clenches the harder, shoves them under her arms.“I don’t want to hurt anyone Aunt Astra.”_

_“What makes you believe you will?”_

_Kassandra hiccups, tries to hide her face behind the long curtain of her hair.Kara is wrapped around her, small arms banded tight around Kassandra’s shoulders._

_“I get so—so angry.I can’t—when it happens, I forget that I need to stop.That I should stop.”_

_A soft chuck under her chin has her looking up, tears blurring her vision and Astra calmly wipes away the mess on her face._

_“I have faced many Sith in my time Little Star, many dark Jedi.In all that time I have never met **one** who said they did not want to hurt.Bad people, my Star, feed off of the pain of others.You do not.You never have.”_

_“But,” Kas sniffles, relaxing into her sister marginally as Kara presses a kiss to her hair.“But I still hurt them.I don’t mean to, but I can’t help it.”_

_“And that is a matter of control.”Astra refutes.“There is nothing wrong with you but that the Force in our bloodline is strong.Kara has it too,” she says fondly, pinching Kara’s leg lightly.“Why else do you think she has solar flared every five seconds from using her abilities to the extreme?”_

_“Cooking is **not** extreme!”Kara mumbles, slouching away from Kassandra but keeping an arm around her shoulders.“I wanted smores.”_

_“My point, Little Sun, is where you are impulsive, Kassandra is cautious.But, where you are creative, Kassandra is reactive.”Astra pats both of their legs.“It is not a bad thing, together you bring balance.Learn from each other; I will help you both.”_

_“But how?”Kassandra asks, “Kara can’t be there to stop me every time I lose control.”_

_“She doesn’t have to be.Instead of living each moment so intensely that you can’t contain your abilities any longer, you should practice your breathing techniques.Remind yourself that as big as that moment may seem, time moves forward always.It won’t last.”Narrowing her eyes, Astra turns to Kara with a faux-stern look.“And you Little Sun, you must learn to live in the moment.Nothing lasts and you should appreciate what you have while you have it.Take time to breathe rather than run.”She pulls them both close in a hug, the last of Kassandra’s tension leaving her body.“I promise I will not allow either of you to be anything short of amazing.El Mayarah.”_

_“El Mayarah.”They echo back._

~*~

_“Kassandra!”_

_Giggling, Kara lifts a finger to her mouth, blue eyes glowing in mischief as their mother enters the gardens._

_“Kassandra.” Alura sighs in exasperation, drawing her daughters gaze down from the bright blue sky.“Where is your sister?We were talking and then she disappeared.Again.”_

_“You were talking about leaving.”Biting her lip, Kassandra also tacks on, “and my name is Kas.Only you still call me Kassandra.”_

_Pinching the bridge of her nose, Alura shakes her head.“It is your **name.”**_

_“I like Kas better.”_

_“I have to leave.The Jedi Order was kind enough to—”_

_“To what?To let you see **your** daughters?”_

_Despite the fact that most people find Kas to be the more temperate twin, she holds just as much feeling as Kara does.Maybe even more so since it is often Kara holding **her** atnight; soothing away her cries with promises of always having each other’s backs.No matter that her mother will not fight for them, Kas knows that Kara will._

_Most days it’s enough but today was their mother’s semi-annual trip to see them._

It was also their birthday.

_Her and Kara’s._

_And now, after spending barely a handful of hours with her children, Alura was already set to leave._

_Her glower of displeasure does nothing to soothe Kassandra’s ire.Alura was their mother; if she wanted them, all she had to do was take them back.Being a Jedi was cool, but it wasn’t like having a family.No one wanted to be her friend—or Kara’s.The marks that they received in their classes were too high for any other student to compete and yet the Master’s continued to lower their rankings saying that they could do better.It made the other students hate them and it put fear in her and Kara’s hearts._

_The other kids wouldn’t like them if they continued to make it impossible to get top marks._

_But the Jedi would cast them out if they didn’t pass their tests or if their rankings didn’t improve.Kas had heard of children being sent back to their home planets if they failed out of the Academy and, while Kara had assured her that was probably a lie, it’s become Kassandra’s greatest fear._

_If the Jedi don’t want them and their mother doesn’t want them… where would they go?_

_“You know I don’t like this any more than you do.”Alura finally murmurs, lowering herself onto the bench next to Kassandra.They’re in the gardens, a favorite spot of Kas’ when she needs to center herself; when the threat of her emotions seeks to overwhelm her.Where Kassandra has taken to timing their parents’ visits and excusing herself before the inevitable goodbye, Kara tends to linger until the last possible moment._

_A lot of the adults think it a mark of maturity on Kassandra’s side but only Kara knows of the tears that she fights back at night.It’s not strength._

_Not to Kas._

_“If I had it my way,” Alura continues, “the two of you never would have left my side.”_

_Kas kicks a foot at the dirt below her feet.“You gave us away.”_

_Gentle hands cup her cheeks, tilting her head up towards her mother and the warm brown eyes she’d been avoiding.Alura’s thumb strokes along her cheek, and it looks as though she’s fighting her own tears when she presses a kiss to Kas’ forehead._

_“You and your sister mean the world to me.To your father and I and your Aunt Astra.We would give anything for you.”_

_“Then let us come home.”_

_“I can’t.”_

_“Why?”Kara grunts, dropping lightly from the tree branch she’d been perched on.Leaves stick to her hair and robes, but she gives them no notice as she opts to join Kas and their mother on the bench.“We won’t be much trouble.We know how to take care of ourselves now.”_

_If anything, her words only seem to make Alura even sadder._

_“Don’t you want to be Jedi?”Alura asks, head shaking in confusion.“Think about all the good you can do for the world.”_

_Kara’s face turns thoughtful but not Kas’.She doesn’t care about the world.She only cares about what’s sitting right here in front of her._

_Later, once Alura has left and Kara has snuck herself into Kas’ bunk, Kassandra for once finds herself with no tears to shed.Kara doesn’t cry either, but she looks so heartbroken and lost that Kas doesn’t kick her out.Instead, she pulls her closer, and tells her sister of all the adventures they’ll have together once they’re done with their training._

_“We’ll be partners.”Kas promises, “no one will stand in our way.”_

_Kara squirms until they’re face to face, their eyes, as identical as every other part of them, finding their match even in the dark.“No matter what happens Kas, I will never leave you.We’ll always have each other, alright?El Mayarah.”_

_“El Mayarah.”_

_~*~_

_“Come back down Kara, we’re not supposed to!”_

_“Fly with me Kas!Rules are only for people who can’t fly.”_

What?

She can hear the voices, but she can’t see anything.Just blackness.

_“You cheated Kas!Give it back!”_

_“I won fair and square; you’re just a sore loser.Besides you already had like five!”_

The children’s voices ping around the void, coming from different directions.No matter how fast Kaznia is, she can’t catch them.So she stops.

Listens.

_“No matter what the Jedi say, I’m not leaving you Kas.Either we both pass or we both fail.”_

_“With your marks we’ll fail.”_

_“Then we can be pirates!And I can get married cause we won’t have to follow those stupid laws!”_

_“You want to get married?”_

_“You don’t?”_

Things start to get murky; distorted.Kaznia sits down, folds her legs under her and focuses.Breathes.

The voices fade away.

Her heart slows and she reaches an equilibrium.

Good.

Except when she opens her eyes, there is a woman standing in front of her and no amount of memory wipes or mind control could make her forget this face.

“Hello Kassandra.”

“Mom?”

~*~

By the time they land, the ship has already been overrun by Rebels.Clones dressed in rebel armor that is a mockery of the Storm Trooper uniform.Rebels loved to take everything from the Legion and pollute them to their own sick views.Mikhail holds his rifle just like Otis had taught him, ready to take them all on.

They were in his way and Kaznia had said obstacles were meant to be removed.

When the side of the carrier they’re on is blown away, the first line of people to Mikhail’s left are all shot down by a wave of blaster fire.Otis shoves him down and responds in kind, throwing grenades and yelling something Mikhail can’t hear.

He tries to shoot back too but it’s too loud and his helmet is too big.

It falls in his face. 

Which is why he doesn’t see the grenade.He certainly feels it when he’s thrown back several feet, a line of fire spreading from his shin to his ribs leaving him gasping.

Something heavy lands on him and he can’t move.

It smells like fire.

He wiggles in a fruitless attempt to escape, something hot and sticky dripping onto his face.

He needs to move; if there’s a fire he needs to _move._

Someone screams; lots of someone’s.

All he can see is red lights and smoke and the stupid too big helmet.

He coughs and sees orange and white boots clambering up near his head.

A rebel.

He wiggles his gun from under him and shoots, the clone dropping to its knees in shock and bringing it’s face within viewing distance of Mikhail’s trapped form.

It… doesn’t look like a clone.

He just looks like a person.

He looks shocked.

Something hot passes Mikhail’s face and he realizes someone is shooting at him.He wiggles some more, the Clone he had shot yelling something about children over his shoulder.

Fear.

Mikhail isn’t excited anymore, if he ever was.He’s scared.That man hadn’t looked like a bad guy; he didn’t have fangs or ugly skin or a deformed head.He was just a normal person and now—someone was trying to kill him.He can now feel that the thing holding him down is a body.There’s so much noise.So much smoke and he can’t breathe!Mikhail can’t—he pushes his small body under the one he’s trapped under and tries to hide.Hope that the Clone from before just forgets he exists.

When the body is shoved off of him, Mikhail screams.

Otis lifts him up and shakes him.“Stay with me! Isn’t that what we agreed on?You stay with me!”

There’s more fire but Otis just flips on his energy shield and shoots back, dragging Mikhail away from the fighting and through a side door that leads to a makeshift command center.

“They’ve docked four ships so far.”

“Get out the pulsar arrays.”

"Oh God, they're coming!”

“Send the droids down to airlock 7.Have them blow the compartment.”

“There's too many of them. Get word to the Bridge!”

“This is it...”

There’s more talking, more orders that all range in despair and panic. And the longer they all go on, the closer the sounds of fighting gets.Something explodes on the starboard side; Mikhail knows it’s the starboard because Kaznia had told him.Starboard was to the right; port was to the left; stern was behind you.

It was simple.

Even a kid could memorize that.

When the metal around him begins to groan, and the walls creak in protest and start to bend, Mikhail realizes with sudden clarity how this will end.Kaznia isn’t here.She’s the strongest Sith alive but she isn’t here.He’s on his own and he’s not a Sith.Not yet.He doesn’t have her powers and he’s going to die.

He knows that he’s going to die.

There are shouts from downstairs and then the sound of a grenade going off and he suddenly can’t breathe again.White chalk hangs heavy in the air and he chokes on it, coughs violently in a bid to expel the stuff from his lungs.Someone grabs him, hauls him to his feet and drags him through the chaos.

A few feet later there’s nothing but blissful silence.

Something wet presses against his face, wiping away the debris and allowing Mikhail to blink open startled eyes.Otis kneels before him, just as covered in gunk as Mikhail is but he’s also sporting a headwound that’s bleeding freely.He smiles but it looks weird.

Not as stupid as it usually does.

“There you are kid.I knew you weren’t a sand monster.”

“Jawas wear tan robes.”Mikhail argues, trying to quickly dash the tears from his face before Otis can see. He pulls at his black tunic.“These are for _Sith_.”

“Oh of course your highness.That’s my mistake.”The floor lurches beneath them, knocking Mikhail off his feet and into Otis’ arms, the room he had locked them in shaking under the pressure of the assault.“It’s ok kid.Hey,” Otis pulls back and grabs Mikhail’s neck, steadying Mikhail against his chest.It’s comforting but it fills Mikhail with shame when he can no longer control the fear inside of him.When he has to choke back a sob.“You scared kid?”

“No.”He tells himself he sounds brave even though his voice breaks on even that small word.

“Good.”Otis nods.“Don’t be scared.You’re the bravest kid I know.”He nods again and takes his data pad off his wrist, strapping it to Mikhail’s still smaller bicep.“Kaznia is on the 3rd level, section 8F.Can you find how to get there?”Mikhail nods and Otis smiles again.The not-stupid smile.“Good.Good kid.You’re a good kid Mikhail.”Then Mikhail is in the air, hoisted up by Otis towards an open vent.He can see now that the grate is propped up by the wall.“Get in there, get to Kaznia.Don’t look back you hear me?You keep going.”

Nodding, Mikhail scoots into the narrow tubing, crawling hand to knee towards his Master.It’s a good thing, he thinks, that he’d grown up sneaking around tubes just like this.Now that he knows where he’s going, he can get Otis’ stupid face away from the Rebels and once they get to Kaznia they can get a ship and go.Just go.

They can face the Rebels another day.When Mikhail is stronger; as strong as Kaznia.Then they’ll show those Jedi who’s boss.

Except he doesn’t hear Otis behind him.

Instead, he hears the sound of the grate being fixed back to the vent.

He makes the mistake of looking back, of meeting Otis’ eyes through the metal lines one last time.Then there’s another explosion, Otis spins away from him, there’s more yelling and then blaster fire.Lots and lots of blaster fire.

Then silence.

He sits there, numb with shock before he hears the grate move again.

Fear lances through him, pushes through his brain and forces his body into movement.

He needs to get to Kaznia.She’ll fix this; she won’t let them kill him.

She’ll save him.

Kaznia will help.

~*~

With his plans finally reaching completion, Mobius cannot help but feel a profound sense of satisfaction.It falls off of him in waves and drowns out the cries of everyone else.

It’s because of this, because of the sick pollution his energy has cast of the Force, that when he reaches for her, or rather the energy she has accumulated for him, Kara is able to respond in kind.

When his hand passes through the barrier of his machine, the contaminated Force energy flowing out and into him, Kara grasps it.

She ignores his shock, ignores the tiny stabbing like sensations that threaten to make her fall back in, and pulls herself out.

And she finally, _finally_ , manages to look her demon in the eyes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We'll start with Mikhail shall we?
> 
> Poor little fella got knocked on his butt pretty quick huh? Didn't even see it coming. In case there's any doubt in anyone's mind, Otis unfortunately died. It really hurt me to kill him but it was necessary for Mikhail to start to wake up to the reality of what war is. He shouldn't want to be a Sith Lord, he's just a kid. He should want to be a kid.
> 
> Alex is taking the hard road; no more straight and narrow for her huh? Breaking all the rules and deciding to give Kaznia a chance. Who would of thought?
> 
> Clarification: Lucy wasn't really injured in the crash so much as she was trapped. I mean obviously she got hurt, they all did it was a crash, but when Alex is trying to figure out how to save her, it wasn't cause she was dying. It was because there was like 5 tons of pure steel holding her in place and their landing wasn't exactly quiet. Also, the clones that left with them all served to go set up a perimeter and fight the Sith troops. I had a line about it but no matter how hard I tried it felt so stiff and misplaced that I just cut it. Admittedly, I was pretty distracted this week celebrating all the mother's in my family from afar but that's why they mysteriously vanished. Forgive me?
> 
> Kaznia: Remember that mind fuck that the witches did to Kaznia? I don't think that will hold up very well under the weight of a crystal full of memories and an Alura AI but I could be wrong. What's your guess? I mean I know I've been a cruel jerk in the past but you guys trust me right?
> 
> Astra's gone after Mobius, Dox and Maggie are going after Winn, Mikhail is running for his life, and Kara, my beautiful Kryptonian hero, has come out to play. :)


	30. Ch. 28: My Life and Love Might Still Go On

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kara fights the greatest fight of her life; Winn meets Dox; and Alex squares off against an unlikely foe.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song: Wherever You Will Go- The Calling

Mobius is stunned enough that Kara can get in a few good hits before he even starts to put up a defense.She’s weaponless but she’s connected to the heart of the Force itself.Whatever power she’d had before seems to be magnified by ten.

It’s almost child’s play to fling objects at the Sith Lord and hope they break him.

Of course it isn’t that easy.

Kara is still attached to the weapon, a visible strand of the Force tethering her to Mobius’ mechanism and preventing her from free movement.Her body is hers to command but only so far as her leash allows.It makes fighting and dodging a tad difficult.

Especially since she has no idea what will happen if the machine is damaged.Given its creator, she’s guessing it spells nothing good for the galaxy though and so is forced to defend both it and herself.

Moreover, Mobius is a descendant of an architect just like Kara; even more so since he’s of direct lineage.She may have the Force on her side, but so does he.And he comes through the wreckage time and again with barely a scratch on him.

“This is futile.”He says, “your fate has been foretold.You are mine.”

He pulls out his lightsaber, the red light contrasting sharply against the blue glow Kara’s giving off.

“Considering I’m the one with the—oh fiddlesticks!”The lightsaber cleaves down faster than anything she’d ever seen, nearly taking her shoulder off before she hastily uses a Force push to put some distance between them and throws another slab of wall at him.He of course cuts through that too and runs at her full speed.

Apparently Mobius wasn’t one for witty dialogue.

_Focus._ Antiope is in her head, her hands guiding Kara’s into the creation of a Force stasis. _You need to remember what you are fighting for._

Revenge.

The Cisar is frozen before her, snarling as Kara throws a rock at his head forcing his hood off.Staring into the endless black eyes before her she can only think of all the agony this man has caused.All the deaths and the senseless violence and for what?What was his end goal?The end of the galaxy?And then what?

_Revenge is futile and has only caused you pain.What is it **you** want padawan?_

When he breaks through her hold, the released power sends her flying back and she has to throw her arms up to protect herself from debris.Something hits her ribs and sends her tumbling backwards and she doesn’t stop until she hits a wall.Blinking does little to clear her vision; things are still hazy, but Antiope is still with her.

_Use the Force.It will guide you._

So, she closes her eyes and relies on the power within her.She’s still connected to the machine and as such has the root of the Force at her fingertips.It’s easy to reach out and sense what’s coming.And, even though it’s still alarming and she’s never quite managed it before, it’s still surprisingly easy to absorb the blade of Mobius’ lightsaber into her hand when he steps out of the rubble and stabs down at her head.

It's easy to do.

Not to maintain.

Her vision clears and she watches with growing unease as he continues to bear down on her, forcing her to one knee as the red blade of his lightsaber disappears into her palm.

But the harder he pushes, the more her hand tingles, until she can just start to see smoke appear where the lightsaber would have met her skin.She throws her other hand behind the first and grits her teeth, eyes darting around for something that will help her get out of this before her ability to absorb the blade fails.

Kara barely has time to question her mortality before Mobius is being flung back yet again.

This time it isn’t Kara who’s attacked him.

Her savior throws a metal cylinder at her and it almost hits Kara in the face she’s so shocked.Luckily Antiope slows it down and Kara clumsily snatches it from the air, dumfounded as she watches the scene play out in front of her.

“You have two choices.”Astra says from the somehow still pristine doorway.“I can kill you quickly or I can kill you slowly.”

“I should have killed you years ago.”Snarling again, Mobius floats into a standing position and re-engages his lightsaber.

Astra smiles.

“I was hoping you’d say that.”

~*~

“Mom?”

They’re on Krypton.

Kaznia has no idea how she knows that, but she does.It’s as if there had been a divider in her brain with all of this hidden knowledge of her life that’s suddenly been torn away.So she knows how Krypton looks now.

And she knows how her mother looks.

And she knows without a doubt that this is Alura.

She looks almost exactly like Astra sans the white stripe in her hair and she’s smiling and somehow Kaznia knows that that’s Kara’s smile.Her _sister’s_ smile.

“Hello Kassandra.What is your query?”

“What?” Shaking her head, Kaznia shakily gets to her feet.“Where are we?How are you here?”

“We are where you are.”Alura says, giving absolutely zero context to their current location.She keeps the placid smile on her face though and that only makes Kaznia’s belly feel even weirder.“I am a mental construct; a being created of artificial intelligence merged with Alura In-Ze’s memory codex.My purpose is to serve the daughters of Alura In-Ze and Zor-El.”

“So you’re not real.”Kaznia says, swallowing her bitterness by taking in her surroundings.She and Kara had been young when they were removed from Krypton, but she still remembers this place; can still almost smell the Nyota patties their nanny bot would bring them.

“I am very real.I am just not living.You may ask me anything you would have asked the real Alura.”

“Oh yeah? Then where the hell were you?”

“Unable to process this query.Please try again with specific search terms.”

Kaznia snarls, stepping closer to the image of her mother and fighting the urge to throttle her.“Where were you when the temple was attacked?Why is Kara alone?”

“According to my data, Krypton was destroyed prior to the destruction of the Jedi Temple on Coruscant.Unfortunately the real location of Alura at that time has been lost.I have no records of her past the extent of my memory, but it is primarily believed that there were no survivors of the planet’s explosion.”

So dead.

It’s odd that, even though Kaznia had _assumed_ her family had been lost, has been told as much by Mobius, hearing this new confirmation brings back a wave of pain she’d thought she’d smothered long ago.

Astra had said that Mobius had stolen her past from her.

And with the floodgates now opened, Kaznia can see that her aunt had been telling the truth.

Her aunt.

All these years and Astra had lied to her.

Why?

Rage, she finds, is a much more useful emotion than sadness.

Alura hadn’t been perfect but she had been her mother and now she was lost to Kaznia just as certainly as Krypton was. 

The memories she’s regained and the connection to the Force that comes with it have given back some of what she’s lost.But her planet and her people are gone forever, and Kaznia will have to live with the fact that she’d probably never really know what happened to them.

It makes it very hard to look at this memory of Alura; to see her mother’s face and not want to cry.

She can’t even remember the last time she’d done that.

So: rage.

“Then,” Kaznia starts, taking a steadying breath and fighting the heat in her eyes.“Why am I here?Why leave a memory of yourself behind?”

“As a reminder.”

“Of what?”

“Who you are Kassandra.After the Jedi came to take you and Kara, we were approached by one of their Order: Antiope.She warned of a Sith Lord who would seek to turn one or both of you.It was with this information that your father and I decided on this failsafe.In the event that you or your sister were ever in trouble, we would be able to offer you counsel.”

“Counsel about what?”Kaznia growls.“I am going to kill Mobius and end this.I will bring peace to the Galaxy.Is that not enough?”

“Your peace is not everyone’s peace my love.”

There’s a shift, a glitch in the setting that sends Kaznia into a low defensive crouch as something zooms past her head.A glance up, reveals Kara, half of her small body shoved into a onesie, small baby curls dripping along her laughing face.A moment later, another Alura enters the room looking equal parts exhausted and loving and carrying another toddler on her hip.

This child is fully dressed and dried and clutching her mother’s neck sleepily as she watches her sister flit around the room.

Kaznia swallows and steps closer.

That’s _her_.

_“Kara, my love, please come down.It’s time for bed.”_

Kara babbles something and stretches her hands out, fists opening and closing rapidly.

Baby Kassandra frowns, her hand slamming over the binky in her mouth as her look of curiosity turns to anger.

“ _No, no.”_ Alura warns, “ _you have your own.If you come down, I’ll give it to you.”_

Head tilting, Kara seems to consider the option before Kassandra jerks her own tiny hand and her twin comes speeding towards their mother.Alura catches Kara just in time, the pouting toddler only slightly mollified when Alura gives her her own binky.

_“I do not know how my mother did it.”_ With a fond head shake, Alura nuzzles her children’s head, swaying them gently to sleep.“ _And she only had the one child gifted with the Force.”_

The image freezes there, a memory cut from time of a mother and her children.A greedy part of Kaznia soaks it in, drinking in the happiness on all of there faces.How, she wonders, could a family like this have fallen so far.

Even this young, she and Kara had displayed Force Summoning and Force Flight that most adults still hadn’t accomplished.

It was no wonder Mobius wanted them.

AI Alura comes to stand next to her, her own face still placid but contemplative.

“This was a good memory of mine.This would have been all the peace I needed.Tell me, Great Lord, would this sort of peace have a place in your Legion?”

And they’re back to this.

Running her teeth over her tongue, Kaznia tries not to be overwhelmed by the bitterness that threatens to choke her.

“It’s a little too late to try to be a parent don’t you think Alura?”

She can’t admit that, before this, a family such as the one she’s seeing now would _not_ have survived under Mobius.

Or her.

This happiness was too reckless; too loud and chaotic.

The fact that she now yearns for it, shouldn’t matter.She has a duty.

She swore an oath.

“I am sorry Kassandra.”Alura says, actually sounding somewhat remorseful even for an AI.Her head is even lowered, and her lips are pressed together in a thin line.Kara does that too. _Did_ that.Kaznia isn’t sure what she does anymore.“During my life I made a lot of mistakes.The foremost regret I had was not being there for my children.I believed I was doing what was best for you but the last update to my systems shows that I felt even that was not enough.I knew it was not enough.”

“You abandoned us.”

“I gave you to the Jedi.I thought they would keep you safe.”

“No.You thought that Kara and I would bring you prestige.That our accomplishments with the Order would exalt the House of El!”

“This is your rage.”Alura refutes.“You are not thinking clearly.”

“DO NOT TELL ME HOW I AM THINKING!”Kaznia screams, pacing away from the woman to get some distance.“I _know!_ I was there!This is not rage this is clarity!”

“Then why are you crying?”

Her feet stop abruptly, her entire body stiffening in realization as she dashes a hand along her cheeks.Her fingers come back shiny and wet.

“I… I’m…”

“I love you Kassandra.Your father and I love you.You were never abandoned; you were cherished.”Alura steps closer, her hands gently framing Kaznia’s face.It’s a ghost of an impression; Kaznia can’t feel it but she remembers how it had felt.Her knees nearly buckle.“If I had the powers that you have, I would have moved the very heavens to keep you safe.Whatever happened to me; wherever I was, know that you were not far from my thoughts.”

“You left us.”Kaznia sobs.“You—Mobius _erased_ me.”

Alura blinks, long and slow and Kaznia is reminded that this is a memory.A computer.This is not her mother.

“The erasure of your memories was probably completed in an attempt to turn you to the dark side.”

A useless fact.

Kaznia sniffs and steps away from Alura.

“Who are the Witches?”

“They are a sect of dark side followers.Their powers reside in energy manipulation; source control.They can bend users to their will and gain complete access to their minds if given enough time.”

“They did this to me.”

Alura frowns.“I feel great sorrow for the pain you have endured.”

Kaznia scoffs.“That is useless.”

“The usefulness of a thing does not determine its presence.”

Kaznia would like to disagree but now that she’s remembered her past, she also remembers the sister that Mobius was set on draining like a battery.

Kara.

Alex had said she could have killed her.On Yavin.Kara had levitated an entire Sith army on her own, surely she’d be able to face down Mobius.

“Kara.”Kaznia prompts.“Has she—have you spoken to her?”

“Yes.”

“Is she ok?”

_Kaznia!_

“No.”

“I tried to save her.”Swiping an arm under her nose, Kaznia chances a glance at Alura, sees the same placid expression.“Everything I did before Mobius was to keep her safe.”

_Kaznia!_

“I have every belief that everything Kara did after Mobius was to keep _you_ safe.”

“She joined with the weapon.”Kaznia disputes, forehead crinkling in concern as the walls begin to fracture around her.“That’s a pretty clear sign she wants me dead.”

“You?Or the person she believes you have become?”When Kaznia doesn’t respond, she continues.“Hurt people, _hurt_ people Kassandra.Is this not why you wish to conquer the galaxy?As some form of retribution?”

“It is an act of mercy.”

“For whom?”

She’s forgotten.The answer she would have had ready just a few short weeks ago dies on her tongue.No one had ever actually asked her the why of her motivations.They’d simply followed her orders.As she had followed Mobius’.

“What do you _want_ from me?”

“I want only for you to be the person you have always been.What do _you_ want Kassandra?”

_Kaznia!_

Mikhail?

An image of the boy pops into her mind, and inadvertently, is brought into this now flickering landscape.Alura notices the new addition right away, taking in the hero-worshipping smile that Mikhail has taken to wearing whenever Kaznia is close.

“He is beautiful this child.I hope he can remain so innocent.Something tells me your fate is tied inextricably to his.”

“How so?”

“The power of my matrix is able to make assumptions based on extrapolated data.This boy is important to you; the only person outside of our family who you have given any though to.Naturally that means that he has come to be in the after.”Alura tilts her head.“And, given your now defensive posture and the scowl you’re wearing, I can assume that you are very protective of him.”A gesture at Mikhail’s frozen figure.“And I can see from the love in his eyes that he is important to you.I wonder if either is enough to show you that _you_ are what you are trying to protect him against.”

“What?”

Alura frowns and Krypton goes away, replaced with a dead world that is covered in flame and smoke.

“This is what my data assumes a destroyed Krypton would look like.This child is an orphan yes?”

Kaznia feels her legs shift uneasily, somehow able to feel the heat of the false memory at play.Worse still is that the frozen memories remain.Her mother from the past holding child Kara and Kassandra, and Mikhail off on his own.

“So what.”

“Who do you think orphaned him Kaznia?How many orphans do you think Mobius has created?Families ruined?”

“I do not follow him any longer!”

“You are still trapped by your rage and until you are not, you will always be his puppet.”

Kaznia snarls and lashes out, her hand flashing forward before she can stop it and smashing through Alura’s face. _Through_ her face.

She’d forgotten for a moment that Alura wasn’t really there.

She was dead.

Mobius had probably killed her, if everything she’d learned today was to be believed.

If Astra was to be believed.

It was really hard to be angry at a dead woman.

Swiping a hand over her face, Kaznia prowls away to think, considering what she now knows.

What her options are.

She is a master of the dark side; all of her power comes from her hate and her anger.

Alura is asking her to give that up.

“True mastery of a thing, comes from mastering the _thing._ ”Alura says from behind her.“Not in mastering the emotion that drives the thing.Your powers have always come from _you_ Kassandra. The light side is not something to be afraid of.”

“I’ll have to start over.”

“Would you prefer to end the world in death instead?”

“No.”Kaznia mumbles.“No, I don’t want that.”

Not anymore; not now that she… she’d forgotten.

What it felt like to care for someone.

“What do you want Kassandra?”Alura hesitates, takes a step closer.“I can only presume that I gave my life so that you would never have to.I never wanted this for you Kassandra.”

She snorts.“What _did_ you want?”

“Peace.And love.A home.”

Confused, Kaznia regards her mother again.There’s something pulling at her, but she doesn’t want to go.As angry as she is at her mother, it feels good to talk to her.To see her.

“I am not your daughter anymore.”

“Kassandra,” Alura says, a patient smile gracing her lips.“You will _always_ be my daughters.No path that you or Kara take will ever lead you far from my heart.My little Sun,” she leans again, pulling Kaznia’s face close to her own. “My _brightest_ Star.”

_Kaznia!_

She’s running out of time.

Her hand lifts to pull Alura away from her face, but instead her fingers curl over her mother’s wrist.She can _almost_ feel her.

“Kara is going to die.”

“We all will die.”

“No, I mean—Mobius is going to kill her.”

Alura frowns, a small downturn of her lips.“And what will you do?”

“Me?”

Alura pulls away from her completely.

“You have determined that he is to blame for your losses in the past and now he seeks to take more from you.A future with your sister. The innocence of this boy. What will youdo Kassandra?”

She wrinkles her nose.

Her shoes are black, securing the muscles of her calves in breathable leather.The pants are grey, the shirt grey…

Her favorite color had been purple.

_Kaznia!_

She hates that name.

Maybe she’s always hated it.

Kaznia.

Mobius had called her that.

“They are pulling you away Kassandra.You will be disconnected soon.”

“Kas.”

“I do not understand this query.”

“My name.”She confirms, looking up at her mother one last time.“It’s Kas.I never liked Kassandra.”

Alura nods, the softness of her face and her smile, deepening with sadness.“I remember.”

~*~

Winn types frantically at his keyboard; trying every trick in his arsenal to gain remote access to the Sith’s main server.He can control most of the ship at this point but that’s not his goal.His goal is to shut down the machine.

To save Kara.

Contrary to popular belief, building programs is not something that is easily undertaken.Winn’s got a ton of pregenerated keygens, crackers, and injection attacks that he’s already written and it’s with these tools that he’s able to breach the first layer of the Sith’s defense.

But he’s never seen anything like this weapon before and writing new code for it would be a death sentence.

Reworking old code is proving to be just as difficult.

“Come on!”He growls, slamming a hand on his keyboard in frustration when the damn code refuses to compile once again.Accessing particular files is imperative for this to work, but he needs to know where those files _are_ in order to get his code to work.Not knowing the location means he’s guessing and getting errors and—“Gah!You stupid, useless, garbage, piece of—eep!”

A green teenager with a mop of blond hair in a purple and black suit glares down at him, appearing from seemingly nowhere.He’s got Winn’s laptop in his hands and is cooing to it soothingly.

“He didn’t mean to blame his own shortcomings on you.Humans are often mistaken in where they place their anger.”

“Hello Winn.”

Winn screeches again, spinning in his seat to see a tall green Martian, Maggie, and a girl he vaguely recognizes from Yavin.

“I didn’t do it!”He yelps.“James made me—”

“Mr. Olsen manipulated you into hurting your friends.”The Martian interrupts, arms crossing casually against his chest.“I am glad to see that you are back to yourself.”

“Where are you with this?”Maggie buts in, taking his laptop back from weird kid and placing it on the table.“Did you figure it out yet?”

The shock wears off pretty quickly when he’s reminded of what’s at stake here, focusing back on the monitors and the energy that Kara is still feeding to the machine.There’s another wave coming soon which means that another planet is about to be snuffed out of existence.

“No!”Winn huffs, flexing agitated fingers.“I mean yes but—I know what I’m looking for, I just don’t know how to find it.I can’t access it and cracking the passcode from here would take—”

“Centuries.”The green boy says, puffing out his chest and nodding imperiously.“Your intellect is still only at a 1.15 and therefore you could not hope to gain administrative access in our lifetimes.”He pauses when everyone stares at him, mistaking their silence for confusion.“For reference I am a level 12 intellect.”

“Who is this guy?”

“Focus.”Maggie commands.“What do you need to get access?”

“A direct connection and a—"

“I am Brainiac 5!You and our comrades know me as Querl Dox and I have already stated that we need to get to the main server.It is the only way that we will—”

A lightbulb goes off in Winn’s brain.

“Dox.”He grabs Dox’s shoulders, practically leaping over the desk to get to him.“Dox!”

“Erm… yes?”

“You’re a Coluuan! You can turn yourself into code!You can breakthrough any system!”

Blushing, Dox scuffs his shoe on the ground.“Well, I wouldn’t say _any_ code but yes.Your simple human codes should be quite ehm… simple.”

“Then all we need to do is find the server room.”He darts back to his laptop.“This whole ship should be lit up with all the fighting, but the server room _has_ to be cold which means that it’s—”

“There.”Dox points at the ceiling.“Way, way up there.I have already charted a path for J’onn Jones to phase us through.”

The green Martian, J’onn Winn assumes, nods.

Winn blinks.“Err phase?”

Maggie claps him on the shoulder.“Let’s go save the world nerd.”

~*~

Mikhail scrambles out of the duct and immediately begins running; sticking to walls and corners to hide away from spots of fighting.It’s loud; _zooming_ hums of weapons and sharp _zings_ of blaster’s being shot overlapping yells and screams and leaving him in a sort of zone of deafness.

He mutes the world around him—has to.Needs to get to Kaznia more than he needs to hear what’s happening.

Battle is not what he’d imagined it would be.

Every time the ground shakes, he finds himself back under that body desperately trying to both flee and hide.If Otis hadn’t been there—

Otis is dead.

And the sound of blasters only reminds Mikhail of that.

Alone and weaponless, his only choice for survival is to get to Kaznia.

The data pad on his arm keeps slipping down no matter how much he tightens it and he slips between the corridors and the vents, ignoring the smell of blood and smoke as he tries to stay hidden.

The red dot is getting closer but after a particularly violent wave from the floor, Mikhail has to sit down.He’s gasping, winded and unable to catch his breath.Licking his lips, he tries again to no avail.He can’t breathe and it’s making him panic and his panic is making it more difficult for him to breathe.

Luckily, he had a wise Master.

Forcing his body into as small a ball as possible, he backs into a corner and tries to empty his mind.

The noises are easy to block, the smell a little harder.It makes him nauseous and it’s only with great force of will that he can eliminate it from his senses.His hands are on his knees, eyes closed and slowly he focuses on himself.On his own body.On what his lungs are doing.

They stutter in his chest, ache and jump against his will, kicking like a stallion against his ribcage.

Slow, he soothes, imagining energy flowing through him and into his chest.Relax.

He just has to get to Kaznia.

He’s almost there.

He can breathe.

There is nothing stopping him from breathing.

And when he gets to Kaznia, he’ll be safe.

When he opens his eyes, he feels a lot better.He’s breathing normally again, and no one has spotted him, but the fighting is sounding a lot closer than it had before.

Moving carefully, he crawls out of his hiding place and takes off down the hall.It seems like forever until he gets to her, but, when he does, she isn’t alone.

Fear is an emotion that Mikhail is becoming quite used to.He hates it, hates how he feels powerless as Kaznia collapses in front of this Rebel scum.Her lightsaber falls from her hand and rolls over to his feet.

In the next few moments, he watches as the Rebel steps closer to Kaznia, a staff as long as her body held behind her in a ready position.

Kaznia is on her knees, her eyes closed and face peaceful—as though she were in a trance.

The Rebel watches her, hand tightening on her staff.

Mikhail is certain she intends to kill Kaznia.

The lightsaber is right there.

He picks it up.

His thumb flicks over the pommel.

A red blade hums to life.

“Get _away_ from her!”

~*~

“Duck!”

Lucy grabs Myxy and rolls out of the way, trusting that M’gann, who had shouted the warning, would be able to get to safety as well.

Her trust is well placed as her companion slides behind the wall next to her, the sparse cover affording them very little options.

“That looked like a huge friggin army.”Lucy breathes, wanting to take a peak but not trusting her reflexes with her body’s compromising injuries.

“Yeah,” Lois hedges, pushing Lucy off of her—she may or may not have tackled Lois during her roll—and checking her blaster over, “well they did warn us that it’d be busy over here.”

“Busy.Not fucking flooded with Sith.It’s like an orgy!”

“Gross.”

M’gann scowls and shoves Lucy down when she tries to peek around the corner.“Seconded.And please stop _imagining_ it.”

“Touchy.”Lucy mumbles, gnawing on her lip.

The longer they were on this ship, the worse their situation became.Sith who had time to call in reinforcements nearly always called in reinforcements and there were three of them and an orgy full—

“Stop it!”

A _hallway_ full of droids ready to go down for their Legion.

Well…

Alex wasn’t here to say this was a bad idea.

“Stop smiling like that.”Lois orders, before pausing.“Is your plan my plan or is it dumb?”

“Oh, it’s dumb alright.”M’gann shakes her head.“But the two are not mutually exclusive.It’s like you both share a single brain cell.”

Lucy glares at her.“Don’t call my plan stupid.”

“And don’t call my sister dumb!”

“Ranmeer help us.”M’gann mumbles before readying her blaster and nodding at them both.“Just get it over with.”

“Dad?”Lois calls, activating their comms.“We’re gonna need a distraction.”

“ _Where are you?”_

“Sending the coordinates now.Make it flashy.”

“ _I’ll send Barry Allen himself_.”General Lane promises.

Lucy nearly stumbles mid-rise, eyes bugging out of her head.“Did he say Barry Allen?”

_“I did.Seems like you made quite a reputation and a few friends on your journey; they’ve all come in to help.”_

Holy crap.

Kara would have pissed her pants if she knew.

When the ship lurches to the side though, it’s a pretty clear indicator that Lucy’s time to daydream is at an end.Ships zoom past the windows and she can see them weakening the hull and even a few landing in a nearby hangar.

The distraction works and she immediately hobbles towards the tablet on the opposite end of the hall with Lois and M’gann providing cover, Myx beeping at her over her shoulder.

Once they reach the small device, it’s a simple thing for Myx to remove the faceplate and hack in, Lucy covering her droid with her own blaster and her body.

Even with Myx overloading the conduits on the walls, Lucy is honestly only expecting about half of the droids to go down.Maybe a Sith soldier or two.

She is _not_ expecting the wave of water that swallows the rooms and sets her small electrical overload plan into a very large electrical overload pool.Especially since none of the water seems to reach past the Sith’s army.

Weird that.

The aftermath is a _very_ hot shirtless man with a full beard and blue eyes squinting at her from the now dried room.

“You don’t look familiar.”He says.

“Imalucylanegirl.”She mumbles back.

Lois grabs her shoulders and steers her around the man.“He has a ring on his finger.Honestly Lucy.”

Fortunately, for both of their sakes, Lucy is too distracted by the sight of her second baby, the Ebon Hawk, to pay her sister any sort of mind.

“Oh.”She squeals, pushing Lois away from her and run-skipping towards her ship.“This day just keeps getting better and better!Do you need a ride Water God sir?”

“My name is Arthur.”

“I’m Lucy,” she calls, eyes lighting up as the hangar door lowers for her.“And I’m back baby.”

~*~

“Hey kid.”Alex whispers, holding out a cautious hand to the small boy pointing a lightsaber at her.“It’s ok.We’re ok.”

He shakes his head, the lightsaber vibrating madly in his unsteady grip.“Ge—get away fr—from her.”

“I’m just watching over her.”Alex soothes, trying to keep her voice even as she inches closer the child.She needs to get that lightsaber before he hurts himself; whoever he is, he’s still just a kid and he shouldn’t be here.“I promise I’m a friend.”

“No!You—you’re a rebel!”

Almost there.

“I am a rebel but that doesn’t mean I’m a bad guy.I just want to help.”

The kid starts to waver, his eyes darting between Alex and Kaznia as he adjusts his grip.“Rebels are the bad guys.”

“My name is Alex.”She presses one hand to her chest, voice low and open.A step closer.“And I _am_ a rebel but I’m also a mechanic.And an engineer and a scientist.I like pod races.”She’s almost within arm’s reach now, minutely moves her feet to the right so she’ll be able to grab his wrist on his less dominant side.“And my favorite food is carrots.”

“Ew.”

The way the kid’s face scrunches up is kind of cute and Alex can’t help but laugh, the nervous energy in her belly making it sound a little high pitched.

“What?You don’t like carrots?”

“ _No_!I like cookies!”He glances at Kaznia’s still kneeling form.“Kaznia lets me have as many as I want.”

Well that was just supremely bad parenting.God, she was starting to sound like her mother.

“What’s your name?”

He eyes her suspiciously but after a brief pause answers.“Mikhail.”

“That’s a cool name.”Almost, she’s got a few more inches to go.“Is Kaznia your friend?”

“She’s my Master.”Mikhail growls, shifting his weight and steadying his grip into what was a pretty passable high guard.“And _you’re_ a rebel spy!You’re trying to defeat the Sith and learn all of our secrets!”

“I do want to defeat the Sith, but I don’t want to hurt you _or_ her and—Stand down!”From her peripherals she can make out a small detachment of clones running in with weapons drawn.Alex throws a hand out to warn them off, keeping her eyes on Mikhail as she stops her forward momentum. “Do not move another step!”

Shit.

She’d been so close.

With her senses heightened this much, Alex can almost _see_ the gears turning in Mikhail’s head.Can almost smell the panic that begins to roll off of him at the sight of her alleged backup.

Shit.

“Mikhail,” she tries, moving her head with his jerky movements to try to catch his eye.“Mikhail we’re ok.”

“Kaznia.”He whimpers, his head whipping between Alex and the halted clones.“Kaznia.”

“Everything’s fine.They’re with me.They won’t hurt you.”

Mikhail shakes his head and backs up a step.

_Shit._

“No.They will.They ki—they—Otis.They hurt Otis.”

Shit.

“Was that your friend?”Alex asks, desperately trying to stall for time.If Otis was a Sith soldier and the clones had killed him in front of Mikhail, there would be very little bargaining room here.And she didn’t want to hurt a kid.Even a kid who very much seemed to want to hurt her.

“Kaznia!”Whatever progress Alex had made is gone Mikhail isn’t even trying to keep her away anymore, choosing instead to look over her shoulder at his “Master”.“Kaznia!”

“Mikhail it’s o—”

She’s interrupted by the sound of more movement; droids unrolling from their deployment positions.Then the clones engage, and everything goes to hell.

Mikhail thrusts out his hand and Alex is shoved backwards, somehow unsurprised at the strength of this child’s Force abilities.

Unfortunately it was still an attack, and with the arriving Sith Droid backup, it only serves to increase the tensions exponentially.One stupid-well-meaning-idiotic clone steps forward, the band on his arm green and blue and designating his independence.Alex remembers him, can cite multiple occasions where their paths had crossed.His name is Galen Marek and he was a baker; he used to try to buy Alex’s affections with pastries.Still did some days.

Of course he would see an attack against her as reciprocal.

Alex doesn’t even have time to tell him to stop.

Doesn’t have the breath.

He shoots at Mikhail’s legs, intending to incapacitate rather than kill and is rewarded with a cry of pain from the child.

The hair on the back of Alex’s neck rises and tingles and her legs are moving before she knows what she’s doing.

Her arms wrap around Mikhail and she tackles him behind a pillar, bracing herself as Kaznia awakens from whatever trance she’d fallen into and releases a ball of energy full of lighting that pushes and burns and only gets bigger.

Alex grits her teeth against the pain and the screams of the dying and the harsh whistling wind that blows against her ears.

All she can do is hold Mikhail tighter.

And pray.

When it’s over, Kaznia is standing over her and her eyes aren’t red anymore.

They’re as blue as Kara’s but they’re not the same.There’s very little joy in her eyes; no warmth or—or love.

But she seems softer.

And she’s holding her hand out to Alex.

“You were right.”Kaznia says.“I do have a sister.”

“Yeah.”

“Mobius is going to kill her.”

Alex blinks, tries to focus on the words she wants to say but there’s something else pulling at her attention.Her nose feels weird, cold and like every breath is searing her nostrils, it forces her to breathe through her mouth.And her ears are still ringing from the electricity and, when she looks over, she can see that Galen Marek is slowly rising to his knees.

He's not dead.None of them are dead.

But they are surrounded by sparking and destroyed droids.

Alex coughs on smoke.

“Commander?”Marek prompts, eyeing Kaznia warily from his position.

Alex lets her head fall back with a thump, suddenly exhausted.Kaznia seems nonplussed, still holding out her hand as she regards Alex.

Her comms echo static in her ears.

It makes her wonder if she’s alive by Kaznia’s design or a fluke.

“You can stop him.”She says.

“Even if I do, I can not shut down the machine at the same time.”

“Then tell me how to do it.I’ll do it.”

Kaznia’s mouth pinches and then her eyes widen.“Mikhail.Come here.”

Mikhail pulls his face away from Alex’s shoulder, face white as he looks up at her with _such_ guilt.Alex wants to tell him it’s ok.

It had just been a misunderstanding.

They would be fine.

“I’m sorry.”He whimpers.“I didn’t mean to.”

He moves his hand, the sound of a retracting lightsaber cutting through the silence and leaving Alex gasping.

Oh.

Her mouth feels wet.

Tastes like metal.

Alex looks into blue eyes that look like Kara’s but aren’t and she thinks of a house with a stupidly large bathtub and lots of sun.

Oh.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well... this all seems horrible.


	31. Ch. 29: We're Right Beside You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kaznia switches teams; Winn tries to save Kara; Kara tries to save the world.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song: Warriors- AJ Michalka; From She-Ra because I binged the hell out of that last season and am still vibrating and listened to this song nonstop while editing this. :)

"How are you even fighting right now?! You have the Force!" 

"Kassandra and I have been training with these Machine for years. I'd hope we'd build a bit of a tolerance by now." 

“And where’d you get this from?”Kara pants, alternating between attacking Mobius with the Force and going in with the lightsaber Astra had given her.

Her aunt laughs, smile bright and wild as she slashes viciously at Mobius’ unprotected back.She’s blocked by a flying sheet of metal.

“Of all the questions you can ask of me, that is your first?”

“It seems the most prudent.”

“Since when have you ever been anything but fierce?”

Feeling her nose tick up, Kara carefully circumvents an attack and uses that as a distraction from the rather negative feelings Astra’s playfulness is wresting from her.

“Yeah well, being abandoned can really cripple that in a kid.”

Astra tosses a clump of warped metal at Mobius’ head; he ducks under it and goes for her exposed belly; Kara counters by catching the clump and slamming it into her back.She watches in satisfaction as he’s smashed into the wall; a short lived victory since he simply brushes it off and growls at them.

Like an honest to Rao animal growl.

Not to sound too weird, but Kara was kind of disappointed that she’d come all this way and only got like one line out of her “greatest enemy.”

Lame.

“You were not abandoned.”Astra says after the fight has resumed.She looks marginally less playful than she had before, a properly chastised frown marring her features.“I searched for you for years. For both of you.There was never any sign of you; but I did find Kassandra.”

“And you let her be a Sith?”

“I would never!I— _she_ chose her path.When I found her, she was already Mobius’ puppet.I made a choice and I stand by it.”

Gritting her teeth, Kara side steps Mobius’ next flurry of attacks and throws her hands up to push him back with the Force.On the one hand, she is overwhelmingly relieved that Astra at least appears to be on her side.That she isn’t alone in this last stand against the Cisar.

On the other…

This had been years—more than half of Kara’s life! —that Astra had been absent.Where she’d wondered what had happened to her family, where she’d _grieved_ her.

And she’s angry about that.

She has a right to be.

Astra had left her _alone._

But she’s also relieved that Kas _hadn’t_ been.

That even with whatever the Sith had done to her, her sister had had family with her.Someone that kept her relatively safe and cared for.

But she’s still really angry.

And hurt.

And there’s hate and jealousy that she can’t control joining the mix and making everything even more awful.

And by more awful, Kara means when the machine _responds_ to those negative thoughts and feelings.

She feels it sucking the energy from the Galaxy as it moves, dark energy flooding through her to be collected neatly for Mobius’ taking.

Gasping, Kara blinks rapidly and tries to center herself.

She can’t meditate and defend against an attack.

Mobius knows this and presses his advantage.

Fortunately, he doesn’t seem to be aware that Astra In-Ze was a Jedi Guardian of the highest Order.She’d invented her own lightsaber form; had led her soldiers with grace and dignity for years.A glowing mark of pride and aspiration for the House of El.

If he’d thought Kara’s predicament meant this would be a quick end, he’d been very very wrong.

~*~

Someone is pulling at her arms, adjusting her body for some reason and Alex wants to tell them to stop.Her head is hot with agony, a white hot poker starting somewhere in her chest and ending nowhere.She can’t really see, and her hearing is fuzzy, but she thinks someone is crying?

She tries to focus on the triangle; force the pain into the imaginary point in her head so she can focus.She needs to get up.

There’s something she has to do.

Kara’s in trouble and she has to help her.

There’s a promise…

She feels floaty.

If only she could see, blinking isn’t helping to clear her vision at all and she’s—oh.There it is.

Slowly, a face takes shape in front of her until she’s looking into clear brown eyes.

Her eyes.

Or… no.Jeremiah?

Her dad hovers above her, cupping her cheek gently one hand.

_Not yet._ He says, though she can’t really hear him.It’s more a knowledge of his words than an actual sound. _Don’t be afraid Alex.Demons run._

“When good men go to war.”Alex mumbles.“Got that fromma candy… mom hates it.”

Jeremiah smiles.

_Soon, my love._

The next thing she knows, she’s gulping down air, blinking rapidly as Kaznia and Galen and Mikhail all come into view.

Kaznia has a hand over her chest, brow pinched in something like concern but not quite.She at least seems pleased that Alex has regained consciousness.

“You need a healer.”She says immediately.“I am not skilled in healing and that won’t hold for long.”

Glancing down at her chest, Alex is unsurprised to see her shirt covered in blood.There’s a nice sized hole a little under where her heart should be, skin pink and throbbing in its semi-healed state.At least the wound is closed.She can deal with that.

She’s fought in worse shape.

Her tongue wets her lips and she blinks again, trying to bring the room back into focus and reorganize her thoughts.

Kara.

“I have to shut down the weapon.”

“You’re in no condition to—”

Alex catches Kaznia’s hand, squeezing it with her now limited strength.“I have to shut it down.You have to get her out of here and I have to shut it down.”

Kaznia watches her carefully, eyes searching as she scans Alex’s face.Finally she sighs, shoulders coming down a bit.

“She will not leave without you.”

“Let me worry about that.”

“You might not make it.The kill switch is all the way at the top of this ship.There are bound to be obstacles.”

“Let me worry about that.”

Kaznia’s lips twitch.“I am beginning to see why she likes you so much.”

Hope flares in Alex’s chest and she squeezes the hand again.“You can see her?How?”

“Our bond.”Kaznia says, adjusting her grip to Alex’s forearm and hauling her to her feet.The room spins and she feels like she might throw up, takes a few steady breaths to prevent doing so.Does it anyway.Kaznia politely looks away.“Now that I have broken through the Witches’ spells, I have secured the bond with my sister.She is fighting Mobius and she is… deeply excited about something.”

“You need to get to her.”Alex rubs her chest, her lungs protesting any sudden movements but gradually adapting to her new limitations.Galen takes a place on her right, sliding under Alex’s arm and frowning with worry when Alex doesn’t protest.“You need to—”

“Commander,” Galen suggest softly, “perhaps you should rest for a moment?”

Swiping her free arm over her mouth, Alex shakes her head and tries to take a staggering step forward.“No.No time.We have to—"

“I know what I need to do.”Kaznia pauses and then nods decisively.Her lightsaber jumps into her hand and Alex flinches but Kaznia only retreats to the back wall and cuts out a large hole.She walks a few steps and does it again, gesturing for the small party to follow her in.“This is a service entrance.I’d recommend at least four of your men guarding the bottom while you take the lift up.”

Inside is tight and cramped, shiny metals bouncing light off of each other in a silver blue glow.The walls are narrow and, in the center is a flat disk with a single raised podium to the side.And of course that is the death trap Kaznia wants her to get on.

Sighing, Alex removes her arm from Galen and adjusts her jacket, zipping up the tight leather makes her feel like her insides are less likely to spill out everywhere.When she steps onto the platform, Galen follows her and Kaznia wordlessly settles her palm on the platform.

“Go to the very top.There is a room with a bank of computers; you need to access hard drives 17 through 34.Those are the ones that run the weapon.”

“And how do I shut them down?”

“That I do not know.”Kaznia admits.“I would just smash them.”

“Right.”Alex shakes her head.“Not going to do that.”

“This only works if you disconnect her.Otherwise the machine will continue to operate and whether I am successful in bringing Mobius down or not, she _will_ bring about the Galaxy’s end.”

“Great pep talk.”

“Good luck.”Kaznia hesitates, averting her eyes to the remaining clones as they take up formation around the makeshift entryway.“May the… Force be with you.”

Blue eyes and a Jedi saying?Botched lungs aside, Alex was starting to think this might actually work.

“And with you.”

~*~

James’ room had been pretty far removed from the whole fighting scene, so when Winn gets to the server room with the others, he is absolutely flabbergasted with the amount of fighting they’d had to do.It was one thing to know that there was a Galaxy ending battle taking place a few rooms down, but it was quite another to _know_ that there was a Galaxy ending battle taking place a few rooms down.

And to make matters worse, there is no direct route that would get them to the room through phasing alone and so Maggie and J’onn had had to stop a few times to stem the oncoming flow of droids and Sith.

Now they’re in the actual server room and they’re faced with a new problem.

“You need to plug in directly.”

“Yes,” Winn growls, looking over the blueprints frantically while trying to not to flinch at the sound of blasters behind him.“You’ve said that.”

The room is pretty sparse, a huge computer sitting on the far left wall the only thing of any significance.Other than that, there is one entrance, which J’onn and Maggie are currently guarding, and a huge viewing window directly across from that.

Unfortunately, it’s what lays behind that window that could determine whether the Galaxy all gets vaporized or live to see another day.

“You cannot do it at this console.We have already tried multiple times despite my having arrived at this conclusion after the—"

“Thank you Dox!You’re being completely helpful here.”

The teen pauses, obviously resetting himself after being interrupted as he leans even _further_ into Winn’s personal space.

“You are welcome Winn Schott.I believe with my assistance you will succeed.But only if you actually listen to me.”Dox points to the bay of computers beyond the wide window.There’s frost on the glass depicting just how cold it is in there, flickering indicator lights making it look kind of festive.“Your connection will be there.”

“I cannot _get_ in there Dox.We’ve talked about this already!”

“Stop arguing!”Maggie yells, ducking out to shoot her rifle at the oncoming droids.“In case you haven’t noticed we’re on a ticking clock!”

“Yes.”Dox agrees.“The planet Galantos was just lost to us.”

“What?!”Winn screeches, dropping the blueprints all together.“You said Kara was out of the machine!”

“She _is_ out of the machine.She just has not disconnected from it.”

Winn scowls and shoves Brainy over to the console.“New plan: you connect to this console and travel to the correct hard drives.Shut them down from there.”

“I will still need access to your code.These are Sith machines, it is hardly as if they will listen if I ask them kindly to shut themselves down.” Dox casts his eyes aside, mumbling under his breath as Winn drops the blueprints in favor of his laptop.“As I told you the last three times you attempted to do this.”

“I’ll upload it as soon as you’re in.”Winn promises.“We’ll do a joint attack.You go in and I’ll open the walls for you.”

“Excellent.How will I get back out?”

“Well I think once you’re in you’ll be able to override the fail safes and getting out shouldn’t be an issue.”

“Shouldn’t be.”Nervously pinching the belt at his waist, Dox shifts his shoulders and takes a step back.“Yes.I can see your logic.I am a worthy sacrifice in this instance.”

“Woah!”Winn says, throwing his hands up and grabbing Dox’s shoulder.For a second, he looks a lot less like the annoying kid who’d been yapping Winn’s ear off and a lot more like just a… kid.“No one is sacrificing anyone. Even if the fail safes are reactivated, you won’t be trapped.You have a direct connection to Kara’s suit.As long as you remain in range, you’ll be able to port over and take refuge.”

Looking at something over Winn’s shoulder, Dox frowns, bangs falling in his face as he leans towards Winn in confidence.

“I could lose my body.”

“Hey, you and I both went over Alex’s blueprints ok?That isn’t—your body could survive without you for a few hours and then Alex can figure out how to get you back in it.I’m sure she can.”

“And you will ensure it’s safety in the very likely event we need to flee?”

“I promise.”

Dox nods, takes a deep breath, and stretches out his hand.

Winn uses the temporary silence to surreptitiously glance over his shoulder.

Yep.

That was the girl from Yavin.

Nia Nal if Winn had to guess.Kara had gone on about the girl after that first day because Dox wouldn’t shut up about her.She’d said if he had to suffer than so did Winn.

So now Winn knows the exact shade of hair, height, weight, eye color, and favorite book of a teenage girl he’d never officially met.

That wasn’t creepy at all.

Shaking himself from his thoughts, he concentrates on his laptop screen and readies his fingers.This is going to be a marathon of programming with someone’s life on the line; one of his best friends.He couldn’t mess this up.

His preparation wiggles are kind of ruined when nothing appears on his screen though and he turns to Dox to ask him what’s wrong.

It’s not needed.

It’s very clear what’s wrong.

Dox’s body is green, not quite as deep as a Martian but still green.Tinted if you will.

But where his hand meets the computer and all the way up to his arm has now taken on a metallic sheen that is becoming more vivid as Winn watches.

Mouth dropping open, Winn frantically turns back to his laptop and sees an array of console windows flickering; opening and closing as quick commands are typed out and executed.

Cursing, he immediately launches his kill switches.Disconnecting himself from any nearby networks, interfaces, or outlets.

He knows this isn’t Dox.

Knows it because Dox is now gasping and tugging frantically at his hand.

Knows that whatever this is, it’s trying to kill Winn’s computer which may be the rebellion’s only shot at shutting down that damn machine.

Might be _Kara’s_ only shot.

It’s what keeps Winn at the laptop, trying to secure it when Dox finally topples to the floor.

Luckily, Winn isn’t the only available ally.

The other teen, Nia, had leapt into action pretty quickly, hugging Dox from behind and yanking until he’d come loose.

Yelping, Dox scoots away from Nia, shaking his hand free of the metallic goop that lands with a sticky plop on the floor before materializing into a shapely woman even taller than Winn.From the feet up, the new arrival slowly turns from an ash gray to a deep and vivid blue, until she’s standing before them as a real person.

She smirks at Dox, running her tongue over her teeth in anticipation as she leans forward.

“Hello cousin.Didn’t anyone ever tell you it’s not nice to play with other people’s toys?”

Nia throws up a shield just in time to save Dox’s life, the woman’s arm having morphed into a heavy bladed object.

“You’re like me.”Dox breathes.“My people…”

“Not all of us died.”She smiles, showing off a row of pearly whites.“I am Indigo, better than you in every conceivable way and I am sure that you’ll find trying to get through my systems will be a lot more difficult than frolicking around with humans.”

Then it’s war on all sides, Nia and Dox taking on this newcomer and J’onn and Maggie guarding the door.

Yeah.

This is so not going according to plan.

Like at all.

~*~

Despite her best efforts, Kara can’t wrangle her emotions back under her control.

Astra had tried talking to her but hearing her estranged Aunt had only made the feelings worse and fed the dark side until there was nothing more Kara could do.

Kara _feels_ the next planet die and it sends her to her knees, hand clutching desperately at her breast as her insides churned in upset.It feels like every piece of her is being forced out, pushed through skin and nails and mouth.Mobius tries attacking but Astra catches his blade on hers, kicking him back and twirling in front of Kara when the Cisar throws his hand out in a Force choke.

She’s successful in blocking it the first time.

Not so much the second.

_Fight child!_ Diana hisses, taking the place of Antiope and tightening Kara’s hands around the saber. _Focus!_

Thinking of the millions of lives that were just lost helps, amplifies Kara’s intentions to end this and create a mental wall where Mobius can no longer touch her.When he releases her, she remains aloft, using the Force to keep her body in the air as she prepares for a downward strike.

It catches him across the face, Astra moving in on his weakened side as they unleash a flurry of attacks on the monster who had stolen their family.

_High guard!_ Diana yells, moving Kara’s arms as Mobius swings at her. _Down strike, Djem So, one, two, pivot, swing!_

And on, Diana moves her, until they’re fighting as one person, a chorus of Jedi in the back of Kara’s head cheering them on.

Sometimes they switch, sometimes it’s not Diana coaching her, but a woman named Revan, a man named Anakin, Leslie showing her how to use force lightning—Kara isn’t very good at that.Some of the moves she knows from Diana, still more from her travels or her time as a Jedi.Others are new to her and make her body twinge as it finds movements that it had never known.

_You should never fight with fear._ Max advises.

_You have so much love inside of you padawan.Fight with that._

And she does.

It's exhilarating, and heady, and fills Kara with life and energy.As she continuously bests him, Kara watches giddily as the anger in Mobius’ face increases, turns to irritation and then—was that _fear?_

They twist and spin and strike until Kara is certain that victory is in their grasp.Astra takes a hit that leaves Mobius open and Kara capitalizes on it, attacking Mobius’ knees and sending the Sith falling onto his side.

He doesn’t cry out or whimper, simply glowers up at Kara from the floor as Astra summons his lightsaber to her hand.

They’ve got him.

After all this time, it will finally be over.

All she has to do is finish it.

Just move.

Her lightsaber is high, held ready for a down strike.Clean.

It will go straight through his head.

She hesitates.

Astra’s too far away and Kara’s too much in her head, the voices of the Jedi of old dulling as she returns to her own point of focus.

Love.

She was fighting with love now.

And she doesn’t kill.

She’d never wanted to kill anyone.

Her hands drop an inch, Kara poised to offer Mobius an out when he strikes, calling his lightsaber back from Astra even as her aunt runs to her aid.He moves fast, almost faster than Kara’s eyes can track and it leaves her relying on sound and touch a lot more than she’s used to.

Kara feels him grab her armed hand, tries to push him away with the Force but can only scream as he slashes down, igniting her face and nearly slicing clean through the wrist.Collapsing to the floor, she can only blink in horror at the damage, unaware of Astra continuing the fight without her.

She’s in shock.

She knows she’s in shock.

She knows it because she _can’t see._ Her right eye is completely useless, a burning sensation hidden somewhere beneath layers of survival.

She can barely feel it.

She’s in shock.

She’s useless.

She knows it.

And Mobius knows it too.

Knows that she’s the weaker of the two and exploits that by sending debris at her; Astra can’t fight him _and_ guard Kara and, surprisingly, she chooses Kara throwing herself in front of her niece with a challenging cry.

Which means Mobius regains access to the machine and the polluted energy he’s been harnessing by using Kara.

Fire spreads fast and frenzied through her nerves, Mobius’ drain on the machine also somehow draining _her._

She knows she’s going to die.

Knows it as surely as she knows her own name.

She even has an out of body experience and sees herself watching her own demise, kneeling in front of her broken self with concern.

Memories flicker behind her eyelids and hesitant touch at her temple that brings images of a ship crashing.She sees Lucy and… Alex?

“She’s alive.”Her other self says.“You cannot give up when there is still hope Little Sun.”

And Kara’s whole brain goes quiet; Mobius, the pain, the Force, the Jedi, the battle… they all fade to the background.

“Kas?” 

Not an out of body experience.Not an out of body experience at all.

~*~

The plan had been to board the ship Alex remembers.Board the ship; incapacitate Kaznia; kill the fuck out of Mobius; and get Kara out of that damn weapon in one piece.

Not necessarily in that order.

Optimism, even at it’s best, could not have made Alex believe there would be no casualties.After what had happened on the mountain, she’d even been ready to be one.Whatever miracle fix Cat and Dox had whipped up was clearly failing now.Probably an inadvertent side effect of Kaznia’s electric death bubble.

Which means that Alex keeps having to swallow back mouthfuls of blood.

It makes her throat itch.

Galen keeps looking over his shoulder at her.Eyes darting all around as he keeps watch for a threat.Alex is happy he’s doing it.

Currently, she’s incapable.

The ship keeps rocking as it sustains more and more attacks, sending them flopping about the flimsy elevator every time a bomb goes off.

Alex has taken to sitting, both hands clutching the railing near her head and just… just sitting.

Breathing.

There’s still a lot she has to do.

So much.

She doesn’t care what happens after as long as Kara is ok.None of this would have been worth if Kara doesn’t come out of this.

The lift glides to a stop and she opens her eyes.

“Commander?”Galen prompts, rifle tucked into his shoulder as he eyes the ramp they’ve reached suspiciously.

It’s a simple metal causeway leading to a bank of computers.

And it’s cold as fuck.

Groaning, Alex carefully hauls herself to her feet.

“Stay here corporal.”

But—”

“That’s an order.We’ll need an exit if this goes sideways.”Alex rolls her shoulder, licking cracked lips in preparation for the short walk.“Plus, I’ll feel better knowing that some Sith asshole isn’t sneaking up behind me.”

Galen nods.“Ma’am.”

Alex thinks he says that.

She’s already walking, and her head is still a little wonky.

A confirmation; nothing more.

She thinks…

She thinks she sees her mom.

_Be careful,_ Eliza fusses from beside her. _What would I do if something were to happen to you?_

Alex snorts, unsure if this is a memory or a hallucination.Either way it’s bad.She stops in front of the computers and wonders how she’s supposed to get access to them.There’s no ladder but each computer is docked in some sort of shelving unit.It wouldn’t be the most _comfortable_ climb, but it would be better than the rope burn she’d experienced when Kara had shoved them into that hole.

She smiles fondly at the memory.

They’d come so far.

Alex wasn’t giving up now that—

**_Knock knock!_ **

**_Bang!_ **

**“Hey!Alex!Alex!Hey!”**

What the—

Turning her head towards the noise, Alex is more than a little shocked to see Winn banging on a huge bay window.Behind him she can see Dox and Nia engaged in a fight with some sort of blue woman and… was that Maggie?

Sighing, Alex motions her hand at Winn in a bid to get him to move away from the window.

He gives her a wide grin, mouth moving.

Alex waves a hand at her ear and scowls.Clearly she can’t hear him.

Winn gives her a slow questioning thumbs up.

For the love of—

This fucking—

Blowing out an agitated breath, Alex digs into her pocket for a sonic grenade, tossing it up once, twice, before throwing it at the glass separating her and Winn.

It makes her happy, to see the abject fear that falls over his face at her seeming betrayal.

Consequently, Winn ducks out of view and the grenade blows the glass, leaving Alex with a five foot jump.Normally she wouldn’t even need a running start for this but given the current state of her internal organs, she’s living on a prayer right now.

Worse still, she couldn’t get a running start if she tried.

Not a good one.

The causeway runs parallel to the window, which means she’ll need to do this at an angle.

Yep.

A prayer.

Jeremiah eyes the distance and nods decisively, slapping her on the back and crouching next to her like some sort of coach.

_You’ve got this Alex._

Yeah.

I’ve got this.

Thirty seconds later and she’s flying through the window, barely managing to tuck herself into a ball on the landing and rolling directly into the fight between Dox, Nia, and blue lady.

Alex uses the opportunity to stab the blue lady in the ankle, cutting through her Achilles tendon.

There’s an angered shout, a wave of blue energy and then Winn is pulling her away.

“No, no, no.”He hisses aggrieved, shoving Alex towards the computer he’s clearly set up at.“They can handle that.We need to shut down the machine before we lose another planet.”Eyes going wide, Winn slaps a hand to his chest.“Good guy by the way.I am—”

“Good.Yeah, whatever. How’s Kara?”

“Not good.”Winn says, jumping straight to the point as he begins typing.“Or she is _good_ like a good person but not like—”

“Winn.”

“Right.Mobius is draining her pretty quickly now.The longer she’s attached to that thing, the easier it will be for him to use her.We need to disconnect the hard drives that power it; shut it down.But the systems are designed with actual AI.Every time I try to get access, it shuts me out.”

Winn gets Alex a new comm device so she can actually hear people again and shoves it in her hand.

“Which means?”

“We need to go in manually.”Winn clicks a few keys before withdrawing a thumb drive from the side of his computer.“You plug this into hard drive number seventeen and I’ll do the rest.”

“Got it.”

Looks like she’d need to jump again.

~*~

It’s admittedly very odd to be looking at Kara like this.Looking at her at all really.

Kaznia had long since given up ever feeling something for anyone; she’d never wanted to.As a Sith emotions were merely liabilities.Even Mikhail had been a risk, one she hadn’t recognized until it was too late.Luckily she’d had Astra as a backup and, through some stroke of miracle, Mikhail had returned to her relatively unharmed.

He'd been shaking and, once they’d left the Rebels behind, had haltingly admitted to her that he didn’t want to be a Sith anymore.

She doesn’t blame him.

It’s becoming maddeningly clear that she’d been fighting for a future that would never exist all this time.

Should never exist.

Mikhail deserved to have a choice in how he lived his life—not have it dictated by Mobius.

Not like Kaznia had.

Mobius had erased her, but she’d been doing the same thing to her own charge; grooming him to be the next Sith Lord without any care to his former life, his own wants and needs.Reasoning that she’d taken him in to save him was probably the same wall that Mobius had hid behind.

They both came from destroyed planets, broken homes.

Does Mikhail even know what happened to his family?

Had she ever even asked?

She has to believe that the innocence he’d lost today could still somehow be balanced if she gets them out of this life.

Mobius needs to die.

Kaznia knows that now.

And the Sith… they were never her family.

Whatever oaths she had sworn had been made by a child who’d been stolen and manipulated into believing falsehoods and promises of a utopia that would never exist.

The Sith would have killed Mikhail.

They were trying to kill Kara.

Kara who looks completely out of it but still manages to lift her head and see Kaznia, whisper her name.

“Kas?”

It’s visceral, the reaction that occurs from just hearing that one syllable.It’s been in Kaznia’s head for years.That same voice, the same amount of tender hope encased in every letter.

_Her name._

It evokes a sentimental response, Kaznia feeling her lower lips tremble against the onslaught of loss that one word brings; the devastation and love and fear and rightness.She hadn’t known until just now, how _much_ she’d missed Kara.

She firms her jaw and gently pushes those thoughts aside.

She can’t right now.

She needs to be present.

She needs to focus.

Kaznia eyes the bloodied wrist and rips off a piece of her cape, swaddling the appendage and trying to heal what she can through the Force.She’d never been very good at it though.

Even as children, Kara had excelled in the lighter Force abilities while Kaznia had reigned in the destructive ones.

The results of this dichotomy means that the healing she tries to give Kara still leaves behind a bloody mess.One that’s less likely to kill her but that will still hurt something awful.

As far as apologies goes, this one is pretty terrible.

“Your Zhao is on her way to shut down this machine.”Kaznia murmurs, thrusting one hand behind her to pin Mobius to a wall and away from the machine.It allows Astra to do a great hack job on her former Master and, when Kaznia closes her fist, she can hear what sounds like a bone snapping.“You need to hold on Kara.”

Kara shakes her head, tears dripping down her cheeks and getting lost in the ash patches on her skin.“I… I don’t understand.You—you’re _with_ Mobius.You and Astra were—you’re a Sith.”

“I was.I was wrong.”

“That doesn’t… no you—”

“I did not know who you were Little Sun.”Kaznia says, leaning forward and catching Kara’s trembling shoulders.“Mobius—your Alex she, she gave me your bag of keepsakes.There was a yellow crystal.I talked to mom.”

“I don’t understand.”Kara mumbles, shaking her head and crying.“Kas I—I don’t understand.”

Gritting her teeth, Kaznia pulls Kara to her feet and grips her face.She’s not as pale as she was when Kaznia had first arrived; whatever Mobius had been doing to that weapon had clearly had an adverse effect on her sister.And Kaznia hadn’t known until she’d seen her again how much Kara still _feels_ like her sister.

The bond that Astra said they shared was strong, Kaznia can feel it thrum through her entire being.Can feel Kara’s confusion and fear and… love.The desperate hope she’s trying not to let flourish.

They don’t have time for Kaznia to stoke that hope, to try to give reason to the love that still remains in Kara’s heart.

For one, Mobius is now out of her grip and full on attacking their Aunt now.

For two.

Kaznia feels wholly unworthy of it.

She presses the staff that Alex had used against her into Kara’s palm; she’d seen it on the ground after leading the rebels to the service entrance and had known immediately who it had belonged to.

Returning it to its rightful owner had been the least she could do.

“When Mobius is dead, I will explain everything.For now, I offer you a truce.”Kara sniffles and hesitantly leans forward until her forehead is pressed to Kaznia’s.When she gasps, Kaznia clenches her fists and fights to keep her mind open.If this is going to work, they’ll need to work together.“Follow my lead Kara.I need you to listen for once.”

~*~

The climb had been cold.

Unforgivingly so.

And, by the time Alex returns to Winn, her fingers are blue, and she can barely feel her legs.

She really hopes that’s the cold and not the internal injuries she’s barely hiding.

The blue woman, Indigo Winn had called her, is trying to absorb Dox again and Alex pulls her gun and shoots her in the head.As expected, the hole heals and the Coluuans both turn to her, but it does give Nia enough of a distraction to encase the woman in a blue orb of energy and toss her out of the window.

“Aim for hard drive 17!”Winn shouts, already back at his computer and pulling up a new console.

“I don’t know where that is!”Nia yells back, thrusting her hand high and sending Indigo in the general direction of where Alex had inserted the thumb drive.

“Turn right .7378 degrees with a northeast diagonal rotation of—”

“Someone who speaks English please!”

“There.”Alex says tiredly, pointing a newly reddening finger at the servers.“Follow my finger.”

Dox scoffs, “that is hardly scientifically accur—”

“Got it!”

Winn jabs the enter key and a startling display of sparks, indicator lights, and smoke herald the death of Indigo.

It’s over in seconds.

And it also barely dings on Alex’s radar.

“Did it work?”She asks, rubbing a hand on her chest to try to alleviate some of the pressure she’s feeling.“Is the weapon offline?”

“Um…”

“Winn.”

“Uh, yeah.”Winn is clearly distracted and barely turns his head to acknowledge Alex as he runs more programs. “Yeah the machine is offline it’s just…

“Just?”

“Hallways clear.”Maggie calls as she and J’onn reenter the room.She grins when she sees Alex and claps a hand on her shoulder.“Good to see ya Danvers.”

Alex gives her a tired smile but immediately returns her attention to Winn.“Just what Winn?”

“The way the Astra explained this machine, Mobius was basically collecting anti-matter energy from the planets he destroyed.He’s got two of those under his belt: N’zoth and Galantos.”

Alex blinks.“There were two planets?”

“Galantos was the second planet to go.”Winn confirms, “and that was just the beginning.”He reaches behind him and pulls up a schema of the planetary system. “The anti-matter wave is still on the move but without visual confirmation I couldn’t pinpoint where it’s going to happen next and—”

“General Luthor.”Maggie presses the comm unit at her wrist.“General.”

_“Captain Sawyer.”_

Maggie bites her lip, sending Alex a cautious look before responding.“Sir, I’m sorry I think our comms got switched, I was trying to reach General—”

_“I know who you are trying to reach.She is currently performing the Force Meditation that is keeping us in this fight and has no time to assist you.I do.What do you need?”_

“We need visual of the anti-matter wave.”Alex responds, some of her alertness returning to her as General Lane’s voice alone makes her blood boil.“And once again, it is _Major_ Sawyer.”

_“The wave is on a direct collision course with Byss.From there it the most likely course would be to reach Eclipse and then the core cluster; including Alderaan.”_

Alderaan.Home of Senator Bale Organa, one of Eliza’s friends and a huge equal rights activist.He was a good man and, if Alex remembered correctly, a good father.There were a lot of good people in the way of that wave.

“Byss is still a ways out though.”Nia points out, shrugging self-consciously when everyone looks at her.“I mean, that’s what all the maps say anyway.”

“How long would we have?”Maggie asks Winn.

“I…”He shrugs helplessly, eyes darting back to the chart.

“Approximately 17.777491 minutes.”Dox nods confidently.“Give or take the placement of—”

“Seventeen minutes.”Maggie cuts him off.“We got it.”

“How do we stop it?”Alex asks.“If disconnecting Kara from the machine didn’t work—”

“It did work.”Winn answers. “But it only stopped Mobius from collecting _more_ energy.He can still access what he already has and theoretically could use that to breach the like gate I guess?I don’t know, Astra didn’t really explain it.If his endgame is to get to the Architects he can still do it with this; or alternatively, we’d be releasing a huge wave of antimatter into the galaxy that would probably like, I don’t know, bring out a bunch of Sith zombies or something.”

“Right.”Maggie hedges.“Antimatter wave bad.Mobius bad.So we need people on each of those.”

“Mobius is being taken care of.”Both Alex and Winn say at the same time.Maggie gives them a pointed look and they both wave her off.“It’s a long story.”

Winn smirks.“Jinx, you owe me a soda.”

Giving him a tired grin, Alex shrugs.“Mobius should be off the board soon.We need to focus on the antimatter energy.How do we get rid of it?”

“We can’t contain it.Not indefinitely.”Winn states, turning from his computer and crossing his arms.“If we do, the chances of another Mobius wannabe showing up to use it are—”

“Ninety seven percent.”Dox confirms, his own arms folding behind his back.“The best course of action would be to destroy it.”

“But how?”

“Incendiary action using an energy source of equal but opposite power would create a failure at the point of cataclysm.”

“But are you sure it’d be nullified?”Alex asks, sagging back against the widow ledge as her earlier exhaustion returns.“If the failure itself results in a breach—”

“Unlikely.If Winn and I could get the reaction to within a 0.174 energy distribution, we should see a higher rate of the Ursian trajectory and—”

“That’s not guaranteed.You’d need a liquid base involved to induce rapid cooling at the point of—”

“Shut up!”Maggie yells, interrupting Alex and Dox’s very necessary conversation.“No one understands you and whatever you’re saying isn’t important.Can it be done?”

They both give each other measured looks before nodding.

“Yes.”

“Then do it.Explain to Winn what you need and like…”Maggie waves her hands.“Program it or whatever.”

_“I agree with **Major** Sawyer.”_Lane’s obnoxious voice startles them all, everyone seemingly forgetting they’d hailed the General earlier. _“Blow the rest of the energy.Evacuate our teams.Not in that order.”_

“There’s like just a little problem with that.”Winn says, holding up a hand and pinching his thumb and index finger together.

“I can assist with the “programming” Winn Schott.You need not worry about time—”

“That’s not it.The fail safes are still in place that Indigo made are still in place.I can’t disconnect from the main drive _and_ execute a program.In order to run what I’m assuming would be a self-detonation program, someone would have to stay behind to execute it.”Winn shifts his feet awkwardly.“After what happened on the mountain, I’m pretty sure we can all agree it should be me but I just—if you could tell Kara that I—”

“Shut up!”Maggie commands again, holding up a hand to stop further speech.“No one is staying behind.”She turns to Dox.“Can you remote detonate?I mean you’d be able to retain a connection, right?”

“Unfortunately, no.”Dox frowns.“The person who designed this was…” he cringes, “an eleventh level intellect.It would take me some time to decode the algorithms they have in place.And time, I am afraid is not something we have a lot of.Our best course of action would be to have someone detonate from this room.Otherwise I’m afraid our chances of success fall by a margin of fifty percent and all of this would have been… well for nothing.”

_“Then someone stays behind.”_ Lane commands. _“Decide who it is; I’ve already sent evacuation orders to the rest of our people and—”_

“What about everyone else?”J’onn, quiet up until now, looks livid.“Are you going to sentence everyone else onboard this ship to death?”

_“They’re Sith.I’m hardly going to weep over people we would have killed anyway.”_

“That is not the way of the Jedi.They deserve a trial.”

_“They deserve a lot less than what I’m offering: a quick end.”_

Alex grits her teeth.“Kara is still on this ship and she doesn’t have comms.And her sister Kaznia is helping us take down—”

_“I don’t care what either of them are doing.Your little girlfriend is responsible for the destruction of two planets and her **sister** is wanted for war crimes that are beyond your paygrade.This is a mercy and I’ll—”_

Whatever else he was about to say is lost to static, the sound actually marginally comforting in the quiet that follows.

“Sorry.”Dox whispers, “I just thought we could all do with a break from that.”

The way his brow furrows and how he tries to duck his head, Nia coming over to place an arm over his shoulder, reminds Alex of close Kara and Dox were.They’d shared a mental space for years and, for all intents and purposes, Kara had helped to “birth” him.Hearing someone blatantly talk about killing someone you love like that…

The glass from the broken window crunches under Alex’s feet when she stands.Even sitting has become exhausting she notes.She can’t really find a good position to be in that will still allow her to breathe easily.Which is troubling.

Kaznia had said she needed to get to a healer and Alex was starting to see the urgency.

Eliza had used to joke about the mind being the last thing to go; Alex wishes she could tell her how right she was.She can actually see her mother standing just to the left of her, smiling patiently like she’s waiting for something.And that either means Alex is still hallucinating or she’s closer to death’s door than she’d thought.

But she hasn’t seen Kara yet.

And she refuses to join her mother or her father or _anyone_ before she can touch her girl just one more time.

Which means they have to decide what to do quickly and then evacuate the ship quickly.

Hopefully Kaznia would have killed Mobius by now.

They’ll need to time this perfectly.

“This one movie,” Nia says, breaking the tense silence that had fallen among the group.She’s still holding Dox, but her arm is looped through one of his now, allowing her to clasp her hands in front of her, thumbs fiddling against each other in a gesture that reminds Alex of how _young_ she is.“They had like a group of guys draw straws.Shortest straw had to stay behind.We could do that.”

J’onn lays a gentle hand on her shoulder, the teen’s shoulders drooping under the paternal strength.“That is unnecessary Nia.You all have much more life left in you; I have lived for over three hundred years.”He looks at Alex and sends her a wink.“I would like to see my wife again.My daughters.”

Alex sighs.

She gets that.

Next to her, Eliza moves closer. _You’re almost at the end.Just a little longer._

There’s a short discussion after that.

Winn and Dox create the program with some input from Alex on appropriate catalysts and where you would find them on a ship.

There are hugs and promises and glares.

And then the group heads down to the main floor to serve as backup against Mobius, leaving their friend behind.

It’s the right thing to do, Alex thinks.

The people with the most life left in them should get to live that life.

She thinks of a house with a ridiculously large tub, sees her mother smiling at her from the porch.

Not yet.

She’s still got work to do.

Just a little longer.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alex is seeing dead people...
> 
> Kara was originally going to get her hand cut off because I mean: Star Wars but then I was like, she already went through that in YWLM so I made it a wrist injury rather than an amputation. But it does still leave her at a disadvantage and, Astra may be cool, af but this is Mobius, he is THE Sith Lord. The Anti-Monitor. It's gonna take more than a super cool Kryptonian to take him out.
> 
> Winn and the others are doing what they do best: kicking names and taking ass. I have no idea what level intellect Indigo was but she dead now. She got all blowed up. For anyone who didn't follow that: she created a system wherein the user has to be directly connected to the computer in able to control anything. Which means no remote detonations.
> 
> Mobius still has the anti-matter energy he'd already collected so although our heroes have saved Kara, they have not yet saved the world. Even if the Kryptonians do kill Mobius, it won't stop the wave unless they destroy the actual machine that's harnessing that energy. Hope that clears up any confusion?
> 
> It just all seems to be going swimmingly, huh?
> 
> Also, don't know if I mentioned this but Galen Marek is the main character in the SW Games Force Unleashed. He was so cool.
> 
> Next Chapter I think is mostly in Kara's POV if I remember correctly, so the switching back and forth between POV may take a small break, at least in the beginning.
> 
> Cheers!


	32. Ch 30: Don't you dare let our best memories bring you sorrow.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Final battle.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song Keira Knightly- Lost Stars (in honor of pride and my first girl crush(obviously))

It’s a testament to just how strong her twin is, that Mobius is still pressed against the side of the ship.

Granted, it helps that Astra is bending pieces of said ship to keep him in place, but Kara had almost forgotten how cool she’d always found Kassandra to be.

Her wrist is still burning, but Kassandra has healed it enough that she’s able to stand.And to flex.And to wipe her face.

Ok.

She’s ok.

And Alex… Alex is _alive._ Her entire body thrums with that development, heart quickening and sending a pulse of renewed energy through her.Alex is alive.

Winn hadn’t betrayed them.

Everything that Kassandra has just shown her is…

Alex is _alive_.

“It wasn’t you.”Kara’s trying to keep it together, trying to make her words count because right now all she has is her words.“On Naboo it wasn’t—”

“It was.”Kassandra refutes firmly.“The Witches were able to get in my head; I don’t think they knew you were alive before but after Yavin it was impossible that you were anyone else.They did something to me—something that gave them proof that you were the battery Mobius needed.”Kassandra clenches her fist, face straining.A quick look shows Mobius just standing there, eyes closed as if in meditation.At least he’s no longer taking energy from the weapon.“Kara, this might be the only time I have to say this: I am sorry.All I ever wanted was to keep you safe.”

Kara wants to reply, opens her mouth to do just that, but she’s too late.A shock wave of electrifying black energy sweeps through the room, throwing everyone but Mobius off of his feet.Pain crackles through her extremities but there’s little time to even consider if she’s still whole since Mobius launches into a full out assault.

She’s dodging lightsabers and parrying with her staff, her joints protesting every hard clash.The wood is warm and familiar in her hands and maneuvering with it is way more comfortable than James’ lightsaber had been, but despite her connection to the Force, this round with Mobius feels inherently different.

For one thing, he’s encased in a dark black and red energy that make his hits feel like sledgehammers.

For another, any strike the Kryptonians _do_ manage to land on him seems to have very little effect.Like they’re flies that he’s angrily batting away from him.

Despite Mobius being assaulted from all sides, somehow, he’s still repelling them.Kassandra alone is using both her own lightsaber and James’ in a two-handed dance that would have left anyone else dead.

But Mobius doesn’t even break a sweat.

It seems that the harder they fight against him, the stronger he becomes.

Faster.

Better.

Better than Kara.

“Your fate was determined long before your birth Jedi.It was prophesied by one of your own.”Mobius states calmly, his voice deep and vast as Kara just barely gets her staff up in time to block his strike.Astra gets thrown back.“Why do you fight it?”

Her wrist _burns_ and Diana won’t stop screaming tactics in her head and Alex is alive and that makes all of it so much better.

She can do this.

She’s got this.

And, in the words of Lucy: “ _Fuck_ the prophecy!”

Kara rotates her wrist, twirling her staff around Mobius’ lightsaber and catching him across the face.Her staff clinks against the metal armament on his jaw and sends him toppling back. But the surge of victory Kara feels when Kassandra moves in for the next few hits is obliterated when Mobius throws a hand behind him and _pulls_.

A section of the back window, the only thing protecting them from the cold vacuum of space, breaks off in huge chunks.There is a deafening rush of air and an alarming pull that Kara fights with a touch of Force flight but in the next instant she’s being knocked back into the machine by a wraithlike… shadow?The thing is thin and creepy and definitely not of this world since it has no real corporal form.Kara swings at it and her fist goes through air.The stupid creature does not have the same problem.

Every hit it throws, lands.

Every hit it lands, _hurts._

Just a few minutes ago, they’d been fighting with three Kryptonian Force users against a lone psychopath.

Now Mobius has the advantage: a handful of shadows and a sucking vacuum to boot.

If he’d been capable of smiling, Kara would believe he was doing so now as he locks eyes with her and sends object after object at Kassandra and Astra who are battling their own shadow demons.

Kara can’t even focus on Mobius anymore.

Not when her family is in danger.

She uses her connection to the Force to redirect projectiles, pull bodies back from the gaping hole, and block attacks.

With her family on the line, she’s completely vulnerable.

And Mobius knows it.

When he comes, she has to face him and the shadow and it’s only with the help of the Jedi in her mind that she’s able to stay alive.

“My brothers and sisters banned me from my dimension; cut me off from the power that fuels me in the name of _peace._ ”Mobius spits out.

Block.

Step back.

Stri—no! Block!Step back! Duck! Swing!

Counter!

Ow!

“But now, thanks to you, I have regained my connection to the anti-matter held within all things.For there to be life, there must also be anti-life; a balance to the precarious equation of existence.”

Back!Back!

Jab!

Down and—Kas!Grab her, grab her!

Ow!

“I do this not for enjoyment Jedi, but because it is what I was made to do.My sole purpose is to bring about the end of worlds.”

_Focus padawan!You can’t—_

A sudden visceral emptiness cuts through her, leaving her gasping and sending her to her knees.Mobius catches her body and sends her hurling across the room.A feat that should have been impossible given the connection she’d had with his machine.

But it’s gone.

The Jedi are gone.

She can’t hear them anymore.

No Diana.

No Antiope.

No Max or Anakin or Leslie.

They’re all just gone.

Kara blinks in shock, grabs her chest where just a few moments before she’d felt their salvation.

No.

Not yet.

Please.

No.

No.

No.

No.

No.

Not yet.

~*~

Mikhail is not having a good time.

He’d thought, stupidly and childishly, that he’d do a really good job when the battle came.There’d been an image in his mind of him standing over a pile of defeated enemies with Kaznia smiling proudly in the background while explosions sounded behind him.

It had seemed a lot cooler in his head.

In reality… it smells for one.

Like smoke and sweat and lots of pee.

On their way over here, Kaznia had led him through a corridor with a lot of not so great things to step in and he’d vomited all over the place.He’s not even ashamed to admit that Kaznia had to carry him after that.

Speaking of Kaznia…

She’d left him out here, safely tucked away in a side room that she’d sealed behind her.She’d even put in her own administrator credentials so that no one would be able to enter the room but her.

So he’s safe.

But that doesn’t mean he can’t hear the battle taking place just a few rooms away.

He hears the screaming and the groaning of metals and the explosions and not one bit of it seemed cool.

Mikhail was honestly starting think that “cool” would be a nice day on a sunny planet somewhere.Preferably one with a beach.

He’d read about beaches in the texts Kaznia had given him.Knowing one’s terrain was important and—

_Krashaaaak!_

Slamming his hands over her ears, Mikhail squeezes his eyes shut at the sound of screeching vibrates against his ears and sends a splintering pain through his head.It’s all he can do to make his way to the door; to slowly peek through the window.

Oh _no!_

Debris fly by the window in a tornado of wind, dragged by an invisible force through to the end of the hall where Kaznia is fighting Mobius.

Which can’t be good.

It’s not good.

And, in Mikhail’s new normal, he’d feel pretty good about wasting time having a moral debate about it. He had, after all, just told Kaznia he no longer wanted to be a Sith.Not if it was this dangerous and scary.Not if people like Otis had to die.

He stares down at his bloodstained hands.

Not if it meant he had to kill people like that woman.

Like Alex.

He wrinkles his nose.

There is absolutely zero part of him that wants to leave this room; he wants to wait here until Kaznia comes back for him like she’d promised.

But she’d promised to come back a long time ago and he’d been stuck with Otis and the Storm Troopers for who knows how long.Worse: he’s pretty sure it hadn’t been by Kaznia’s own choice.

What if she couldn’t come for him again?

What if because he was too busy being scared, _she_ died?

What would happen to him then?

The thought is enough to make breathing very difficult and he scrabbles away from the window to hide beneath the desk at the far side of the room.

Ducking his face between his legs and throwing his arms over his head is a decidedly uncool move but it’s all that’s left for him.

If Kaznia dies that’s it.

He’ll have no one left.

He has no idea where Astra is, and Otis is dead.

Otis’ friends had seemed nice, but the Rebels had seemed to be winning that battle pretty handily.They’re probably dead too.

He’s got no one.

All he has is Kaznia.

And she’s his friend.

She saved him on Taris when she didn’t have to.

Protected him.

Taught him.

Played with him.

Spoke with him.

Astra too.

…

…

…

Ok.

Ok.

Ok.

He opens his eyes and looks at the ceiling above him where an air duct is tucked away.

It’s familiar terrain.

He doesn’t have to kill anyone.

Kaznia is the one with the strong powers, if someone needs killing, she can do it.

All he has to do is make sure she doesn’t die.

And the vents are easy.

He’s been climbing through vents since he was a toddler.

He’s been stealing food and getting in scrapes and fighting for his life since before he can even remember.

Fighting for Kaznia should be easy.

Especially now that he has the Force on his side.

Easy.

He crawls from under the desk, sinking into a squat as he looks up at the vent.

Easy.

Using one hand, he reaches up and gently flicks his wrist to the side.

The grate holding the vent closed whips across the room violently and he gulps.

…Easier?

Yep.

Ok.

Ok.

Please don’t hurt too bad.

When he leaps, using the Force to help propel him upwards, he does not crash.He actually barely reaches the opening and has to scrabble with fingers and nails and kicking legs to get through the hole.In the end, he’s left panting, sprawled on his stomach until a pained cry echoes through the vent.

“ _Kas!”_

Crap!

Break time was over.

~*~

There’s a small part of Kas, a minute part so small that it isn’t even worth mentioning, that is really really grateful she hadn’t been trained by the Jedi.

For all that her adolescence was wasted thinking that cruelty and violence was the answer to the world’s problems, at least she knew how to fight.

At least she had discipline.

Kara, her dear sweet long lost sister, had absolutely none.

No, Kaznia thinks as she ducks beneath a steel beam and swipes at the body of a shadow demon at the same time.That wasn’t fair.Kara is honestly holding her own fairly well against multiple opponents, but there is a glaring hole in her strategy.

Growling, Kaznia jabs at a shadow demon with little effect but to have it dart away as Kara redirects yet another projectile Mobius sends at Kaznia’s head.

For all that Kara isn’t actively _dying_ right now, she is also not doing a very great job at _winning_ either.

Because she has it in her head that Kas needs rescuing.

Like she’s some stupid damsel in distress that needs a hug every time something goes wrong.

The only thing that makes it slightly less insulting is that Astra is being treated to the same altruism and she is even less happy about it.

“It gives me great pain,” Astra grits as she takes on three shadow demons alone. “To admit that I was wrong to entrust Diana with the care of your sister.”

“Yes, well, your regrets are now our damnation.”

Astra glares at her and Kas sends her a smirk before leaping over yet another piece of scrap metal and using it to launch herself closer to Kara.

“You can’t keep this up!”She has to yell which is highly unprofessional and gives Mobius a clue that she’s coming at his back.He catches both of her sabers as she tries to employ the maneuver that Alex had used on her on Yavin.“You cannot fight three battles Kara.”

“I won’t let him hurt you!”Kara huffs out, clearly exhausted, and clearly injured.There’s blood coming from a lacerating on her temple, dripping down her face and obscuring her vision.

Kas frowns.“So you will allow yourself to be hurt.That is a foolish plan.We can take care of ourselves.”

She takes a hasty step back, launching herself into a flip as Mobius slashes at her legs.Sticking her landing on his back, she shoves down and is gratified when his face collides with the floor.She uses his momentary bafflement to relieve him of his cloak.The damn thing was getting in the way with all the wind.

“You need to trust us.” She says to Kara, not letting up on her attack even though Mobius has fully recovered with the help of his shadows.“We’re not civilians Kara.”

Of course, Mobius uses that moment to grab her with the Force and send her flying towards the gaping hole he’s created.For a second, she’s not even remotely worried about this turn of events aside from the embarrassment of Mobius’ timing.But then when she tries to employ her flight ability it does absolutely nothing.

“Foolish child.”Her former master is standing over Kara with his lightsaber to her throat.“I only need the one of you.”He closes his fist and Kas can’t even scream, can’t even think beyond the thought that he’s literally hurling her into space.

Kryptonians are a strong race but even she cannot survive in space.

Astra tries to come to her aid and is converged upon by the shadow demons, being swallowed by darkness in seconds.

And Kas scrabbles desperately, clawing at nothing as she comes closer to her death.

Failure is not something she’d ever thought she’d have to confront and now she’s met it no less than five times this day.

Kara.

Mikhail.

Astra.

Alex.

The galaxy…

_Wham!_

_Thud!_

Even if asked under duress, Kas will never admit to just how much that had hurt.Almost like slamming into a metal wall.

When she opens her eyes and looks up, the first thing she sees is the imprint of her body within… a metal wall.The hole is now completely covered by a piece of sheet metal and, standing on the mostly destroyed causeway above it with outstretched hands and a dumbfounded face, is Mikhail.

Mikhail who gives her a guilt ridden grin and hesitant wave as if he hasn’t just given Mobius the opportunity he’s been waiting for.

Kaznia’s up before she realizes it, throwing herself at the small body and covering it with her own even as Mobius’ first attack sends them crashing back to the floor.

His second makes the pain she’d felt from the wall seem like a tickle.

His third, never comes.

Because Kara, that idiot selfless sister of hers, takes the blow for her.

And keeps taking it.

~*~

It’s Coruscant all over again.

It’s Kara in a spaceship being held at bay while her sister is left to die.

It’s every night she’s spent alone since.

It’s the empty pit in her stomach that she’d felt for nearly twenty something years while she’d been in the phantom zone.

It’s loss.

It’s agony.

It’s desolation.

And she refuses to go through that again.

Kassandra doesn’t notice her at first but the child in her arms does.He looks at her with wide brown eyes that remind Kara so much of Alex and that only makes her grit her teeth and force breath into her lungs.

She needs to keep breathing.

As long as she’s breathing, she’s alive.

Even if when Kassandra _does_ look at her, she very much questions how long that will be.

“What did I _just_ say?”Her twin hisses, all jerking lip curls, and glaring eyes.

“Something about me being a fool.And to trust you.”Mobius does something that intensifies the beam of energy shooting into Kara’s back and she winces, braces her legs, and keeps her core level to protect the people under her.“Something like that, it’s honestly a bit fuzzy right now but I know it was a lot of not nice stuff.”

“Do you think this is a game?!”

“No.It’s never been a game.Not since the Sith attacked Coruscant and we got split up.Life has been decidedly unfun since then.”

“Kara—”

“I should have gone back for you.”Kara shakes her head, feels her leg start to shake and pushes a bit of the force into her limb.“You apologized before but I—I should have gone back for you.You’re worried about me dying but I won’t survive losing you again.Not when I just got you back.”

Whatever she’d been expecting, it hadn’t been for Kassandra to actually _cry._ For her lip to tremble and her eyes to water and _Rao,_ how had Kara ever thought she’d be able to harm her?

“I just got you back too!I need you too!”

“Tough.”Kara gives her a wobbly smile of her own even as her mind starts to work overtime for a way out of this.The energy she’d been imbued with is starting to fade and she doesn’t think she has a whole lot of time to make something happen.“You did the sacrifice thing last time.It’s my turn now.”

Diana had been telling her that she had the power to end this since she was a small girl but Kara refuses to take a life.

And luckily, she’s spent a few years trying to figure out a way that she won’t have to.

What she’s about to attempt hasn’t been done in nearly five centuries.

And it had taken the entire Jedi council to manifest the wall the first time.

For one lone Sith.

Not the descendant of an architect.

Not _the_ Sith Lord.

Just a regular foot soldier.

Antiope had said the Jedi were with her.

That they all were.

Kara wasn’t a Jedi.

And neither was Kas.

She’s got no idea what Astra is.

And even though she can’t hear the Jedi anymore, she can still feel the echo of their presence.She reaches for them, reaches for every ounce of the Force left in her and reaches a hand to her twin.

“I need you Kas.”

“I’m here.”Kassandra grabs her forearm, squeezing when Kara starts to leech off of her energy.“El Mayarah.”

“El Mayarah.”

Distantly, she hears Kassandra call for Astra; hears her tell the boy to hold onto her.Kara’s too far gone to question why.

Five hundred years.

No one had been able to do this in five hundred years.

And there were limits. _Rules_.

But, she remembers fondly, rules were only for people who couldn’t fly.

The first thing she feels is the Force.

Then the people around her.

The ship.

The Rebels.

_Alex._

The galaxy.

It gets so big that she can barely hold it.

_Too much, too much; too much!_

Antiope braces behind her.

_Steady._

Diana holds her free hand.

_We’ve got you._

Kara opens her eyes and releases what’s left of the Jedi who had come to her aid; what’s left of the Force energy Mobius had force fed her; what her family has leant to her.

The result is a wall of pure lightside energy, of which none of Mobius’ shadows could hope to withstand.

Mobius himself seems shocked and his attack on Kara fizzles out and he focuses on protecting himself from the light.

For several tense minutes, Kara is almost afraid that he will succeed, but then slowly but surely, he becomes consumed.

She wants to stop; tries desperately to pull herself away but in the blink of an eye, she’s gone.

Wherever she is, it looks very similar to Krypton, except the sun isn’t red here.It’s a bright startling white and it lights the room she’s in a warm glow.

Which is weird because she’d never thought a white light could be warm.

Something squeezes her hand and a quick look shows Kassandra standing next to her, watching something with a wary eye.

No.

Not something.

Someone.

A man.

Kara’s torn between this older fellow and the fact that Kassandra seems to be dressed in a white tunic and pants.White everything.

Ok, the white thing was starting to freak her out.

And yeah, _Kara_ was in white too so—

“I’d imagine you have a lot of questions.”The man says, “but I must limit you both to two apiece.Even I cannot hold this pocket for long.”

“Pocket?”Kara questions, and then feels stupid for using that as her question.And why did they have a limit anyway?That wasn’t—

“Yes.This is a bridge if you will.A meeting of our worlds that could only happen because of the energy that you,” he points at Kara, “tapped into.Granddaughter.”

Not what she had been expecting.

“You’re an El?”Kas asks skeptically.

If the man is offended by the lack of trust, he doesn’t show it, he actually seems kind of amused.

“The first.I believe my recorded name in your histories was Rao.”

Oh.

Oh my—

NOT. WHAT. SHE. HAD. BEEN. EXPECTING.

Was it rude to call on Rao _in front of Rao_?

Kas snorts.“Then what’s the meaning of life?”

Rao smiles.“To heal someone.Even if, Kassandra, that someone happens to be yourself.”Kara squeezes Kas’ hand hard when her twin stumbles back.“You have come very far my child, from a very dark place.That is a feat many have said is impossible.Your road will be long, and you may feel very alone through most of it but know that I am never far from you.Know that your sister,” he smiles at Kara and winks, “has always kept you close to her heart.I cannot imagine that changing now.”Another blink and he’s directly in front of them and every good feeling Kara’s ever felt barely compares to this, even if all of Rao’s attention is on Kassandra right now.“You feel burdened by your mistakes and, though I cannot relieve you of them, I hope this brings you at least a measure of peace.You owe no one your penance.What you have survived and what you have done here today is payment enough.Do you understand?”

“Yes sir.”Kas says firmly, even though her lip is trembling again.It had always been so very easy to make either of them cry.

“No, you don’t.But you will.This pain you feel, it will not last forever.I promise you.”

“Yes sir.”

The smile turns approving.“Endure.Resist.You will find your happiness Kassandra. I am so very proud of you.”It is Kassandra who, after a few minutes of staring, finally breaks the eye contact between them.Rao exhales slowly and turns to Kara with that same parental patience.“Now, what is your last question Kara?”

“My parents.I want to know if—”

“They are safe, and they are at peace.And,” he promises, “when it is time for you to pass on, they will be waiting to meet you.”

“In Rao’s light.”Kara whispers.

The deity chuckles and shakes his head.“I was always puzzled as to why you all called it that.Some measure of comfort I assume.Your Zhao will be waiting for you as well.”He adds as an afterthought.“All are welcome into the Light.”

“Everyone?”

“Everyone.Everyone who has passed in the light shall be welcome in the light.”

Kara’s shoulders droop and her head sags.

Oh.

“That includes you Kara.”Rao tilts her chin up and his touch alone makes her feel like a part of a whole.No more loneliness just—whole.“You did not kill Mobius.He was too far gone.My siblings and I had hoped he’d be able to live in peace in your realm, but he was driven by revenge and greed.By opening him up to the light, you were offering his soul a chance to be cleansed in fire so to speak.Unfortunately, there was nothing left of his soul to save and that is not on you, it’s on him.”

“I feel like a murderer.”

“You aren’t.Although I suppose my words will do little to convince you otherwise.Whatever comfort this brings, please take it: if you had chosen any other option, Mobius would have _assuredly_ taken the life of every living being in the galaxy.You stopped that.And he did not suffer.What you have done today is a mercy.And, it is something that only you could have done.”

“I… don’t understand.”

“Your bloodline is strong because of the love I had for my Carrie.Were anyone other than one from my blood to have attempted the Wall of Light on Mobius, they would have been consumed in fire long before him.But your strength and your resilience allowed your body to heal at an astronomical rate.Enough to endure a journey here even.I admit, as unfair as it may seem, it is a large reason why I gave you life when I did.”

“You made the prophecy.”

“I merely asked the Force to help me bring balance.And it brought me you.You were not a puppet or a tool Kara, you were salvation.And now that you have brought about the balance, you are free to make your own choices.Forge your own path.I’d recommend some rest first though.It appears your body has been pushed to its limits.”Rao waits for her to nod before releasing her with a sharp clap of his hands.“Now, I have a favor to ask of you, a boon that was requested of me long ago.”

Both women wait expectantly, and Rao just grins wider before holding out his hand.In it is a stuffed ursan, an adorable toy of one of the animals on Krypton.Mostly it resembled an Ewok but was non-sentient, walked on all fours, and enjoyed sleeping quite a bit.

“What is it?”

“I’ve no idea.”Rao says with joy.“But I was asked to pass it on to your aunt, Astra In-Ze.I was told she would understand the message.A thank you if you would.”

It’s Kassandra who takes the present and glances between Rao and Kara.“Now what?”

“Now, you wake up.”

~*~

When Kaznia opens her eyes she’s still on the floor.The change in perception is more than a little disconcerting and she falls back a bit, releasing Kara’s hand and slumping into Mikhail.

“Easy Little Sun,” Astra murmurs thickly from above her, cradling Kara against her when her twin would have otherwise fallen over.“It is over.You did very well my love.”

Kara trembles and it’s enough of a motivator for Kas to find her own feet, to reach down and haul Mikhail up to his.

“You’re crying.”Is the first thing she says to Astra because out of all of this, everything that’s happened, it’s the weirdest occurrence by far.Even weirder than the apparent vaporization of Mobius by goodness personified, Kara.

Astra nods against Kara’s head and only chokes out one word.A name.

“Alura.”

“You saw her?”Kara draws back a little, eyes wide and painfully hopeful, but Astra’s already shaking her head.

“But I felt her.I felt her.She’s ok.”

Kara nods.“She’s waiting for you.In Rao’s light.”

Emotions aren’t a thing Kas would ever say she was very good at, but ever since the Sith had come along, she’d say her emotional suffocation has reached rather unhealthy levels.This current display, of Astra crying and hugging Kara while her twin coddles her is making Kas extremely uncomfortable.Enough so that she has to fight the urge to curl her lip.Tightens her fist instead.

And then remembers the toy Rao had asked her to pass on.

It at least gives her something to do.

“This is yours.”She holds her hand out, shuffling a little when Astra only stares at the stuffed ursan with a pinched face.“Rao said you would know what it meant and—oof!”She’d forgotten how all-encompassing Astra’s hugs could be.Unbidden her own tears come faster than she can choke them down.And then she laughs because Astra’s still got Kara’s head caught in her arms and her twin has little recourse but to hug Kassandra as well and they’d all been fighting each other just a few hours ago; enemy combatants and now…

“I’m sorry.”Kassandra finds herself whimpering.“I’m sorry I was so awful and—”

“I’m the sorry one!”Kara interrupts.“I should have went back for you the second I saw that door start to close.I should have—”

“No! _I_ made it close Kara!It was me!That wasn’t your fault!I—”

“But instead of trying to help you after, I let Diana tell me you were evil and—”

“That is my fault.”Astra buts in quickly.“Diana and I had planned on extracting Kassandra from a Sith mind training facility, but she was already under Mobius’ thumb.If I had forced us passed the guard—”

“We were outnumbered!”

“I should have been there to help!”

“Diana thought we’d both turned evil!That was my—”

“No, it wasn’t! We shouldn’t have doubted—”

“Of course you should have!I was working for the—”

“I should have gone with you!”Kassandra admits tearfully.“I still knew you, but I didn’t know how.I didn’t know what to do I—”

“It is ok Little Star, you were afraid.I forgive you.I love you.”Astra squeezes them both.“I love both of you.”

Kara hiccups and grabs a fistful of Kassandra’s tunic.And then withdraws a bit with a quizzical look.

“Who’s this?”

Glancing down, Kas releases a slow breath as something settles inside of her.

She doesn’t even try to fight the smile.“This is Mikhail.”She steps back and rests a comforting hand on her ward’s shoulder, encouraging him to come from behind her.“I found him on… Taris.”The memory of the planet now leaves a rancid taste in her mouth and it’s not nearly as easy to look back at Kara after that.

If she’d expected condemnation though, she doesn’t find it in her sister.

Kara smiles kindly and offers Mikhail her hand.

“Hello.I’m Kara.”

Cautiously, as if he wasn’t quite sure if Kara would snatch him away, Mikhail shakes the proffered hand.“She looks like you.”He says to Kas.“Exactly like you.”

“We’re twins.”Kas admits quietly.Proudly.“She’s the other half of me.”

This new Kara smile could light the galaxy and Kas barely even flinches when Kara cups her chin and brings their foreheads together.Kas sniffles and doesn’t even comment on the bloody mess that is her sister’s face.The closeness is worth the grossness.Besides, they’re all more than a little banged up after such a fight.

“Oh.”Mikhail says before nodding decisively.“I’m Mikhail.”

“I heard.”Kara laughs, “thank you for taking care of her.”

Blushing all over, Mikhail shrugs self-consciously.“We take care of each other.”

Kas thinks of everything they’ve been through, everyone who has sacrificed themselves so that she could survive; gets a good look at the blistering skin left uncovered on Kara’s back.

Maybe she hadn’t done her part yet, but she would.

For the rest of her life.

“I can feel you again.”Kara breathes out, voice shaky and achingly beautiful. Kas can feel her too, a soft echo that had been missing from her life for more than a decade.She doesn’t even know how long, just that she’d been hurting so long that she’d forgotten she was hurting.Forgotten how painful it was to be without Kara’s presence in her heart. “You’re not…I think the Wall of Light helped you too.There isn’t anymore darkness in you.”Biting her lip, Kara pulls back enough so she can look at Astra and Mikhail.“In any of you.”

Astra nods and kisses the back of Kara’s hand.“It looks like you’ve given us all a fresh start, Little Sun.”

“I should be angry.I know I should be angry, but I can’t feel anything but love.And relief and—and happiness.I’m so—"

A loud crash from the hall sends them all into high alert.Kara summoning her staff while Astra and Kas ignite their lightsabers.

“Kara!”A small man cries out, rounding the corner at a run and sliding all over the place.“Oh man!”He scuttles along the sides of the room, head darting everywhere as a few more people enter the room behind them.“Where’s Mobius?This is terrifying.Is he invisible?Please tell me he isn’t invisible?”

“He’s not invisible.”Kara dismisses, lowering her staff in exasperation.“He’s gone.I used the Force to heal him but there wasn’t anything left to heal so it kind of… like…”

“He’s dead.”Astra interrupts, nodding at Winn with slight deference.“It was very well done.You shutting down the machine.”

“Uh thanks.”

Alex steps forward with a ridiculously large rifle in her hands and nods towards the door.“While I can appreciate the need for a reunion, might I recommend we reconvene on the Ebon Hawk?We’re on a very tight clock.”

“Clock?”Kara questions, although she doesn’t argue and immediately starts following after her Zhao.

It’s common sense, that Kas follow after _her._

“Lane is threatening to blow this place if we’re not out in the next fifteen minutes.”Winn picks up, running over to Kara’s side now that he doesn’t have to worry about Mobius.“And I know what you’re thinking, “oh, Winn, just let him blow it.” To which I would argue that if he blows this thing before _we_ do, all of that energy you collected is gonna wash the galaxy in what Mobius called Anti-matter and then—”

“We can’t let that happen!”

“Exactly.So,” Winn gestures towards the door.“Let’s scram!”

~*~

Kassandra takes point once they tell her where they’re headed.It makes sense since just a few hours ago, this would have been her domain; her salvation in the wake of the Galaxy’s extinction.

Kara’s trying not to think about that too hard.

As it is, it means a slight distance between her and her family, a distance she’s trying to ignore.Astra falls behind them with Maggie, watching their backs while Alex joins Kas up front.

Which means Kara’s stuck in the middle with Winn, Nia, and…

“Dox.”The green boy introduces, puffing out his chest a little.“Were your suit not overloaded, I would have introduced myself earlier.Regrettably, you made the very unwise decision to merge with the machine before I could.”

“Very regrettably.”Alex mutters.

They’re moving quickly, not quite a run which Kara is thankful for, but still quick enough that she’s finding breathing a little difficult.While Kas and Astra seem to be in great shape, Kara at least has solar flared.She’s got the lungs of a human and is not enjoying it at all.

Kara grimaces.“I’m sorry.I thought—it doesn’t matter.I was wrong and I’m sorry.”

“You owe these people nothing Little Sun.”Kassandra doesn’t turn around, but her voice brokers no room for discussion.“They should be groveling at your feet.”

“ _No.”_ Kara says, “no groveling.We don’t make people grovel Kas.”

“Oh.Right.”

For all that the dark side seems to have be have been washed out of the trio of former Sith, the training would probably take a while to eradicate as well.

“I’m a good guy.”Winn chimes in hastily.“You know, in case no one’s told you yet.”

“I saw what James did to you.”Kara confirms, trying not to wince as every step sends a flare of pain through her joints and ribs.“I’m sorry I didn’t see it.”

Winn shrugs.“He’s dead.I had to… uh…”

“I’m sorry.”

“Yeah. … it’s just, he kind of deserved it?Hurting you like that.I’d kill him again if I could.”

“I think I’d do a lot more uncharitable things, so it’s good that your willing to be the bigger person.”

They exchange grins and Winn reaches over to pull her into a quick side hug.

“I’m really happy you survived that.”He whispers.

“Me too.”And she is, but she’s also worried about Alex’s seeming lack of joy at her survival.Or not lack of joy, Alex had been happy for certain, but she hadn’t really been… affectionate.Which means she’s mad.Which is understandable. Still, Kara gestures towards her Zhao with her chin and asks Winn, “is she ok?”

“Uh, yeah.”Winn nods.“Yeah, just um you know, Alex.”

Kara frowns and moves a little closer towards the front.“Alex—”

“Not now Kara, I need to focus.”Her Rebel _is_ taking her job as their point person very seriously, using wipe sweeping looks through her scope as they move.At least that hasn’t changed.

“I know but… I need to talk to you.I need to apologize and—

“It’s fine.You don’t need to—”

“Would you just let me talk? _Please?_ ”

Alex hesitates, even pausing her step for a moment to give Kara a cursory glance.Then she’s gifted with an exasperated smile, stiff as it may be, and a nod.

“I’m listening.”

Ok.

Good.

“When you… on Naboo, I thought you were dead.And when I went to try to get Lucy, the Hawk was gone.It was just a burnt out hole and—I thought I’d lost everything.”

Frowning, Alex carefully steps over a pile of broken droids.“Catherine is alive.Everyone is except for Maxwell and Diana.”

A thrill goes through Kara’s chest.“That’s—” she has to cough to clear her throat and swipes a hand over her now teary eyes.“That’s good to know.”

Movement from the side draws her attention a split hair before Alex shoots a tech droid through the head.

Dox winces.

“When I joined with the weapon,” Kara continues, “I thought I could flip it around.Target the Sith instead but… I was too far gone.I miscalculated.”

“Yeah you did.”

“You have every right to be angry about that.”

“I’m not angry.”

“You sound angry.”

Alex huffs at her, but before she can protest, Kas points at a ship up ahead.

“There’s your ship.How much time do we have left?”

Winn glances at his watch and eeps.

“Four minutes!”

A few cursory glances of alarm are exchanged before, as one, they take off at a run.Alex has to shoot a few more wayward droids, but it seems as though the rest of the Sith have already evacuated.

Or their dead.

Kara isn’t sure.

All she knows is that Alex is hauling her into the ship, practically carrying her to a seat when her body nearly gives up on her at the ramp.It’s the first physical contact they’ve had, and Kara would thrill in it, if she didn’t feel so horrible.Rao, she needed a nap.And some sun.

A lot of sun.

But she doesn’t want Alex to worry so she smiles at her and receives a soft smile in return.

And eye contact.

The eye contact is important; it makes Kara sit up a little, quizzically tilt her head because… she hadn’t noticed that before.

The way Alex’s eyes had seemed… empty.

But not.

Trying to puzzle it out only makes a lead ball drop in her stomach.

It sinks deeper the longer she stares.

Alex straps her in but, when her fingers brush Kara’s shoulder, it’s instinct to grab her hand.

Which… doesn’t feel right.

It doesn’t…

“Alex?”

Alex scowls and uses her free hand to press at her ear.“Lucy get us out of here.”

The ship’s already started, already in the air and ready to jettison off but now Maggie is bringing up the hangar door and very studiously ignoring Kara.

A quick look at Winn shows the same avoidance.

Kara squeezes Alex’s wrist, not enough to hurt just to—just…

“What’s happening?”

“It’s going to be ok.”

Somehow that makes her feel worse.

And there’s a piece of her that _knows._

“No.Please I—”

“Kara—”

“No!”She squeezes harder, imbuing the move with the Force.

When Alex’s eyes flash, skin rippling through the pale human tone and the Martian green, Kara shoves her away, removing buckles and straps as she regains her feet.

She’s not fast enough.Maggie’s already got the door closed and Kara’s attempts at charging it are halted by her own sister grabbing her around the waist.

“Stop it.Kara stop it!”

She’d been so stupid!So fucking stupid!

There was no way Alex would have gone with them, not if it meant any of her team had to be left behind.

Ever the commander, she would have needed to stay to make sure the job got done.And she would have told them all to keep their mouths shut; she would have known that Kara wouldn’t have left without her!

“What did you _do_?!Where is she?!Alex!”

“Kara, calm down!”Not Alex comes in front of her and Kara punches her solidly in the face, prompting a form change into a male green Martian.He looks familiar but Kara doesn’t dwell on it, not when her actions have bought her valuable time.

They’re enough of a shock that even Kas releases her and Kara uses the opportunity to run for the stairs.Alex had shown her the roof access and if she can just make it there—just— 

Kas tackles her again, rolls with her to take the brunt of the impact.

Kara’s on her feet in seconds, despite very loud complaints from her body, and she just as surely lands on her ass as Lucy pushes the Hawk out of the landing bay.

And Kara would have thought that was the worse part, to once again be forced to leave behind someone she loves.

But she hadn’t seen Kas die.

Coruscant had still been standing when they’d jumped through time and space.

She’d had a small measure of hope that her twin was alive.

Larger even since she knew how resilient Kassandra could be.

But Alex had been shot off a mountain.

And she’d fought Kassandra not long after.

Maybe if she’d been at full strength, Kara could have believed things would work out.

But, as Kas pins her to the floor, Kara gets a front row seat to the fiery explosion of Mobius’ ship.Every single inch of the weapon going up in flames within seconds.

Kara doesn’t even think Kas could have survived that.

_Your Zhao will be waiting for you as well._

Rao’s words echo through her head, are the only thing she can focus on as her sister pulls her up and Winn slides behind her.

“I’m sorry.” Her best friend murmurs, stroking a hand through her hair and rocking her gently.“I am so sorry Kara.”

_All are welcomed into the Light._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Had a spare moment and wanted to update. I'll be delayed again this coming week because of the craziness my life has become but we're one chapter away from the end. That's it.
> 
> Good luck!
> 
> Might update these notes later when I get more time, definitely feel like I missed a comment here. If I do, it will go in the 1st note of the next chapter as well... cool.
> 
> bye.


	33. Ch. 31: I Will Not Fall

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alex does the impossible; Cat is sneaky; and Lucy is a Bawse.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is it. The last real chapter. I wasn't originally going to do an epilogue but I feel that it'd be mean not to. And I want one. I'm not quite ready to say goodbye yet. Which is why I was playing Spiderman (my sister got it for me for my birthday!) instead of finishing these last edits. So sorry.
> 
> But it's here and I'm really happy with it and yeah. Enjoy.
> 
> Song: Til I collapse- Eminem

Surprisingly, it had been Winn who had given the most emotional argument.

Dox had simply crunched the numbers in his head and said that, while her plan was sound, the chances of her surviving it would be 17 percent.He’d approved immediately.

Nia had had a breakdown.

And that had prompted J’onn to go into space dad mode and then Maggie…

For a few minutes, Alex had been the very apathetic object of everyone’s ire.

And then Cat had hailed them over the comms.

_“Alex?”_

Waving a hand at the still arguing crowd, Alex had glared until they’d quit, and she could respond and actually be heard.

“Cat?What’s going on?”

_“Oh good; I’m here with a rather charming young woman who says she knows you, Claire Temple.She tells me this is a secure line.”_

Winn nods.

“Uh, yeah.”Alex drawls, wondering just what Cat wants.“It’s secure.Is everything ok?”

_“Obviously not.We’re in the midst of a galactic extinction event, we are very clearly not ok.”_

“I meant—”

_“General Lane is out for blood.After N’zoth was destroyed, the Senate contacted him and told him to destroy the weapon by any means necessary.”_

“Yeah,” Maggie snarks, “and just what does he think we’re doing?”

_“I believe he thinks you are prioritizing saving Kara and her family rather than stopping the weapon.He’s given orders to the other ships to fire the rest of those ion canons Alex didn’t very dramatically destroy whether you are out or not in the next thirty minutes.He thinks that’s enough time for everyone to evacuate.”_

“Everyone?”Alex grits, “or just the Rebel army?There’s a kid on this ship.Maybe more than one.”

_An audible inhale crackles over the comms, sharp and breathless.“Oh.…Winslow! Can you hack the Sith’s comms?If we can at least warn them—”_

Winn nods and turns back to his computer.“I’m on it.”

“Good,” Alex rubs a hand over her hurting side.“Now that’s settled, you can see that we no longer have time for you all to bicker like children.This is the plan.That’s it.”

“Alex.This is a suicide mission.”

“Maggie.It’s our best shot. The more I move, the more I bleed.I won’t make it back to—”

“Then we can carry you!”Maggie says, stepping forward with her hands up in supplication.The move makes Alex want to step back, far away from pleading eyes and cracking voices.“We can—”

“No!I’m staying.If you all want to throw your lives away because you’ve suddenly decided that you can’t trust me, then so be it.But I’m doing this.”

Guilt settles heavily in the pit of her stomach.Jeremiah is a somber presence at her shoulder, understanding and strong in the midst of Alex’s own uncertainty.The longer the silence stretches, the more uncomfortable it becomes.The harder Maggie glares at her feet while trying to surreptitiously rub at her eyes.The more pained J’onn’s stare becomes, shoulders bunching up higher and higher.

Nia doesn’t even try to hide the fact that she’s crying.

And Alex isn’t going to lie, if this doesn’t work… shit’s gonna hurt like hell.

Literally and figuratively.

“Kara won’t leave without you.”Dox, awkwardly allowing Nia to sob into his shoulder, is frowning at Alex with mounting concern.Apparently, he’s finally piecing together what’s at stake besides numbers and odds.“The second she notices you’re gone, she’ll come looking.”

“I know.”Alex admits, eyes locking onto J’onn’s.“That’s why I need a favor.”

J’onn’s already shaking his head.“She’ll know.I can’t—”

“She won’t know if you don’t say anything.”

Alex—”

“All you have to do is keep it simple. Kara’s going to be exhausted from her fight and just—she’ll be relieved.To see me.All you have to do is be in soldier mode and let her believe it.”

Dox looks away.“She will not forgive you.If your plan fails, which it probably will, she will not forgive any of us.You will be causing her pain.”

“I’d rather have her heartbroken than dead.”Alex says firmly, looking over the small group of friends left to her.She picks J’onn out of the crowd and does her best to convince him.If she can get him onboard, then the rest will fall in line.“J’onn, a blast to that window _will_ break it.If I time it right—”

“If you time it right you can still be left to the very nonsurvivable environment of space.”

“Lucy will catch me.”

“ _Lucy_ doesn’t even know your stupid plan.”Maggie argues.

“She will.I’ll tell her and she’ll catch me.”

“Alex.”J’onn tries patiently.“That kind of jump—”

“Is possible.I’m not asking you to be happy about this, I’m just asking you to trust me.Just this last time.Moving through space will be a lot safer for me than running around a ship.”Alex carefully unzips her jacket, the only thing that feels like it’s keeping her in one piece, and spreads her arms wide as wide as she can.“J’onn, you _see_ me.You see how bad I am.You know I’m right.”

It's obviously a lot easier to see her wounds.To see the blood and the tears and the underlying bruises beneath her torn short.The jacket had hid that and now it’s on display for everyone, but J’onn can see even more than that.His vision is every bit as alien as Kara’s and he’d be able to see what her insides look like.How this really was the only plan for her.

J’onn stares until he doesn’t.Until he can meet her eyes again with his fatherly disapproval still in place.Just a little less so.

“And if you aren’t?”

“Then I would have died anyway.It makes no sense for one of you to die too.”

He’s not happy about it.

Alex _knows_ he isn’t happy about it.

He looks seconds away from another breakdown.

Instead he simply changes form, limbs shortening and thinning and curving until Alex is looking at herself.A little rough for wear but not nearly as bad as Alex actually is.

J’onn sighs.

“I’d like it to be known,” he says in Alex’s voice, “that I need you to come back.”

“Noted.” Alex agrees easily.“I will.”

Maggie hugs her, unexpectedly gentle and cautious of Alex’s injuries.“I will kick your ass Danvers.I swear to—”

“I know Mags.I’ve got your back.Together or nothing, I swear.”

Winn hesitates.“I can stay.I can do this and—”

“Winn—”

“She’s already lost you because of me once!If you die this time I’ll… I deserve to be here.”

Alex really wants to hit him, but she settles for grabbing him instead.It’s probably their first hug.Definitely their last if Winn continues to smell like this.

“You deserve a life of happiness.”Alex says as firmly as she can.“You’re a good man Winn.One of the best people I know and what happened was not your fault.James manipulated you but he didn’t win.You fought back and came through when we most needed you.Kara will see that.”Stepping away, Alex flicks his forehead.“And I’m not dying you jerk.Not yet. I’ve got plans.”

Sniffling, Winn stalls for another nanosecond and then he’s handing everything off to Alex.She has to fight to pay attention when Nia dislodges from Dox to sob into _her_ shoulder instead, but she manages.Winn makes her repeat it back and nods when she finally gets it right.

“For what it’s worth, I think this is a really cool plan.”Nia sobs noisily.“Really stupid, but I get it and I didn’t dream of you dying so maybe you’ll live and if you don’t, I’ll be so mad at you.”

“I know.”Alex says, squeezing her as much as her injuries will allow.“Me too.”

“I’ll make sure she’s ok if… I’ll take care of her.”

“Thank you.”

And then they’re gone, and Alex is left with just her parents and her pain.

What to do when you’re being left behind on a what will soon be a bomb floating in the middle of Space?

Alex looks around at the metal paneling, the large windows, the flashing servers, and computers.

In the corner is a large piece of space rock the size of her fist.Alex feels her lips tick up when she sees the shape of it and can’t help but stuff it inside her jacket.It wouldn’t do to reunite with one’s girlfriend without a gift.

That done, Alex goes about setting up for her plan, and fighting with all of her veritable mental energy to ignore the fact that in a few moments she’ll be completely alone save for two ghostly fragments from her past.

Not scary at all.

But it’s right though.

That the people with the most life left in them, get to live that life.

Kara will understand.

Alex will explain it to her, and she’ll understand.

Alex _has_ this.

She’s got it.

And when she pulls this off, she’s totally retiring on this act alone because Nia was right: this plan was really cool.

~*~

Being back in the Ebon Hawk is very nice.

It’s like returning home and finding all the dishes have been done and the laundry put away.

Lucy’s basking in the feeling, puttering around getting her star maps aligned and setting the functions for the boosters just the way she likes when Alex’s voice crackles over the comms.

_“Luce.Come in.”_

“Shit Cap!It smells like a new pod racer in here!”

“ _That’s great.I’ve got the team heading back your way.Be ready to bring on some extra people as well.”_

Lucy glances up at where M’gann is watching the cameras leading out to the bay and smiles in satisfaction when the Martian rolls her eyes and grumbles her way towards the cargo hold.

“On it.Or M’gann’s on it.We’ve got it.”

_“Great.How’s your leg?”_

“Better than your brain.”Lois snorts and offers Lucy a high five for the quip.“What aren’t you telling me and how much am I not going to like it?”

“ _Ehhhh_.”Alex hedges.“ _It gives you a chance to show off your flying skills_.”

“Alex.”

_“Someone needs to stay behind to blow the weapon and—”_

“Nope.No.Absolutely not.Get a Sith to do it.”

It is absolutely not Lucy’s fault that her aggravation levels reach new heights simply because she can imagine the face Alex is making right now.She can even hear the stupid things Alex would say if they had time and were face to face. _Would you trust a Sith Lucy?_ And yeah, maybe not but seriously?They had _talked_ about this.About Alex taking on every burden as if it were hers alone to bear.

Admittedly she’d gotten a lot better but this?

This took the cake.

_“Lucy, I’m bleeding out.”_

Her heart shoots to her throat, clogging her airways and barely allowing Lucy to let out a strangled, “what?”

_“It’s… Look, I made you a promise, right?This is me keeping that promise.”_

“By staying behind to _die?_ ”

_“No.By setting off the bomb and letting the force of the explosion propel me into space.If we time it right, you can grab me in the Hawk and jump to hyperspace and I’ll barely have to move.”_

“Oh.”Lucy thinks about it.“I don’t know much about physics but that doesn’t seem right.”

_“I know but I’ve got it figured out.As long as absolutely nothing goes wrong, I’ll make it back to the ship.”_

“And what happens once you’re here?Alex, you’d still be bleeding and—"

_“I can go in the Bacta tank for a bit.Like what I did to you.Is it functional?”_

“You made a plan and you don’t even know if the damn thing is—”

_“Lucy!Can you catch me yes or no?”_

“Of course I can fucking catch you, you halfwit!”

_“And can you jump to hyperspace after?You know before everyone gets blown up?”_

“Fuck you Alex.Question me one more time and—"

_“Then I’ll make it.I promise.”_

Lucy grinds her teeth.“I don’t like this.”

_“I know. But it’s our only option.In the meantime, can you maybe try to talk your dad out of obliterating us with the ion canons?”_

“Wait _what?”_

~*~

Catherine Marie Elizabeth Grant hadn’t had the easiest life.

For one, thing there was her mother.

And well that was it.Her mother was far and beyond reason enough for Cat not to be the most… _conventional_ of individuals, anything else would be unnecessary filler.

Dramatic as it may sound, Cat was not prone to making her issues any larger than they actually were.Of course, to her, when it came to things that she actually cared about, _everything_ was either too much or too little.Way to fast or never enough time.

It was why she’d had to learn how to filter the world around her.

To be knowledgeable and well-versed in everything that was going on, but not so attached that she had a nervous breakdown.

Of course, the obvious alternate solution would have been to stay far away from anything that would cause her strife but a little over a decade ago, two children had fallen into her lap and she’d had no choice but to embrace the uncomfortable.

Sure, she had developed a bit of a taste for Aldoran wine along the way, but it had been worth it.

Whenever she’d stopped for a moment and thought about her life, about the young teenagers she had helped to nurture and counsel, she never doubted that it had been worth it.

Which is why, in the midst of what could possibly be the most important battle in modern history, Cat was more worried about the small team of Rebels that had infiltrated the enemy ship than she was the actual outcome.

Cat had made her living off of knowing the right information; she’d had to with an extremely powerful Jedi to hide away.

If she hadn’t gotten very _very_ good at it, Kara and Winslow would be dead or worse.

It’s Lane’s own fault that he has his head so far up his ass that he’s conveniently forgotten the danger that _Cat_ offers.

When the buffoon is hailed by the Senate, it’s embarrassingly easy to listen in.And it _is_ listening in, honestly Cat is standing almost directly across from Lane when he’s speaking to the assembly of humans and aliens who govern the planets of the Galactic Republic.Eavesdropping isn’t even necessary with the complete lack of security involved in the call and Cat hears everything.

She hears how they label her children as criminals.

How they order Lane to destroy the weapon above all else.

How they prioritize their own planets over the lives of the people fighting for them.

It disgusts her and she wonders once again how Diana had ever thought exchanging Kara for _this_ could be an option.

Lane doesn’t even put up any opposition and Cat in turn feels absolutely zero guilt when she grabs Kara’s friend Claire in the midst of her healer duties and drags her to a corner where she can show Cat how these damn comms work.It takes very little time and more than a few pointed glares from Claire before the connection is up and secured.

Predictably Alex Danvers does not disappoint and says exactly what Cat expects: _what about Kara?_

Given all the experiences Cat has had over the years, she must say that Kara picking up Alex Danvers had been one of the more beneficial.The Rebel General had, since their very first meeting if Kara was to be believed, gone above and beyond to keep Cat’s charges safe.

And she had loved Kara.

That alone had earned her Cat’s eternal gratitude and now, hearing Alex’s plan, Cat has determined it will be up to her to ensure that the two disasters known as Alex and Kara get their happy ending. It’s not like it will be hard; Lane is still yapping, and it sounds like he’s arguing with Lois now over comms.

For once the eldest Lane daughter is making herself useful as Cat uses the distraction to gather what she’ll need.

The Hawk will be almost completely empty and, if Cat’s plan is to work, they’ll need supplies.

Lots of them.

Luckily, she has at least thirty minutes to bring it to bear.

It is extremely serendipitous that Lane’s retreat orders bring Clark back to the ship prematurely.The moment he docks, Cat pounces and steers him towards her stolen goods.

“You smell like smoke.”She complains even as Clark allows her to tug him along the bustling corridors.

“Well Ms. Grant, there _is_ a—”

“Never mind,” waving a dismissive hand, Cat pushes Clark into the storeroom and locks the door behind her.“I need you to decide right now, once and for all, whose side you are on.”

“Excuse me?”

“Kara Zor-El joined with an enemy weapon; it’s largely because of her that the Sith were able to completely destroy two planets _and_ their inhabitants.Three if you count Taris which they probably will because their inconsequential bottom feeders who have no idea how to actually get anything done aside from pointing fingers—” Cat stops short.The rant, while therapeutic, wouldn’t exactly serve much use elsewise and she was on a clock.She didn’t have time for the bullshit.“She’s your cousin.If they come for her, I need to know who you’ll stand with.At the very least, you owe her a warning.”

Plenty of people have threatened Cat before, tried to blackmail or scare her away from what she wanted.

None had succeeded.

The way Clark’s eyes darken, his lips thinning and stretching over his teeth in what is a clear sign of aggression—even the way his muscles tense and bulge under the tight fitting armor the Kryptonians insisted on wearing… it still does nothing more than turn her on.

If the backwater planet boy hadn’t been so enamored by Lois, Cat would have made it so she got what she wanted and then some.

Alas, all the good ones were taken.

Or gay.

Or both.

“Are you suggesting that I’d _ever_ turn against my family?” 

“Yes.” Cat states unapologetically.“Especially because if Kara _does_ get Kassandra and Astra back to the Light like she wants to do, they’ll be even more wanted than her.And, since I don’t remember ever hearing any words of sympathy about those members of your bloodline, I can only assume that when Kara comes back wanted with two even more wanted criminals, you will be forced to make a very difficult decision.I need to know now what that decision will be.”

“I’d never hurt Kara.”

The non-answer won’t do.Not with the stakes this high.“You’d hurt her if you went after her sister and her aunt.Whose side are you on Clark?”

He snarls, prowling around the small room and making Cat’s heart flutter a bit.What a shame.Honestly.

“Astra and Kaznia have killed _hundreds_ of people.”He finally presses out.“They deserve to answer for their crimes.”

“You know Kara won’t leave them.She’ll fight for them, tooth and nail.And the Senate will destroy her.”

“You don’t know that.Trials are open and fair, organized by a judgment from your peers after a legal hearing and—”

“And they have never once, in the entire history of the Republic, shown _any_ leniency to former Sith Lords.Every single Sith they have captured for war crimes has been sentenced to death.Kara will _not_ stand by and let them kill her family.”

Clark rears up, slamming a fist against his chest in what Cat assumes is supposed to be passion.She’s not entirely sure, she’s never been prone to such things herself.

“ _I’m_ her family!Me! Astra and Kaznia they—they _left_ her.They joined the vilest organization in existence and they—”

“ _You_ left her Clark.When she went to you for help.”Clark falters and Cat sighs, a bone weary exhaustion creeping over her at this repeated conversation.She has very little hope that Clark will understand it now when he never has before.“You tell people that you asked her to wait but you had no intention of keeping her.And it’s ok.I understand.I do.You were just starting your own life; you had just gotten serious with Lois; you’d just found your place and this teenager shows up out of nowhere and says you’re related.Taking her in would have disrupted your entire life.I get it.”

Anger cycles over Clark’s face, but with it are hurt and pain and loss and shame and a whole host of things that make his eyes tear up and his skin redden until his only recourse is to allow the weight of his guilt to bring him into a squat.

Cat gives him a moment.

She may be on a clock, but she isn’t unkind.

And whatever Clark’s going through right now… she figures it’s best to let him sort it out before pressing him for his help.

After a few tense minutes, Clark sniffles and rubs his arm under his nose.“I was going to help her.”He nods, looking sightlessly at the floor as the words fall hollowly into the crowded room.They bounce off of walls and boxes and supplies until they fall uselessly between his feet.Cat wonders if he knows they’d never had any real meaning in them.“I… I don’t know _how_ but Lo was going to help me.We were going to help her.”Clark looks up at her, his eyes blue enough and wet enough that Cat aches from the echo of Kara she sees in him.Whatever his issues, Cat can’t fault Clark.Not completely.Kryptonians, it seemed, were destined for a hard life.

“When we got back, and she was gone…”Clark trails off and bites his lip before admitting in a cracking voice, “I was relieved.I’d been so scared and then suddenly… it wasn’t my problem anymore.Out of sight out of mind.I… I let myself off the hook.She was just a kid and now… What did you hear?”

“The Senate is going to charge her for N’Zoth and Galantos.General Lane has been ordered to arrest her on sight.As well as anyone who is believed to have been helping her.”Cat rolls her eyes.“Senator Amedda believes that this was a planned operation rather than a series of unfortunate events.”

“And Kaznia and Astra?”

“Kassandra and Astra are to be arrested as well but there won’t be a trial for them.The Senate has already declared judgement.”

Clark grimaces and nods to himself.

Cat gives him another moment.

He says, “what are you asking me to do?”

“What are you _willing_ to do?”

When Clark stands, it’s fluid, most of the earlier tension having faded away to this more resigned and ready version of himself.It’s a nice change of pace.

Especially the renewed confidence.

Cat could definitely get used to the renewed confidence.

“I’ll do whatever I have to do… to save my family.”

~*~

“I understand Dad, but those are still _people_ onboard that ship.Actual living beings, you can’t just unilaterally—”

Lois’ voice cuts off and Lucy watches her sister huff and drag a hand through her hair.Of the two of them, Lois has always had more patience with the General.

And more of his favor.

“Dad—Because you _are_ my dad!…You’re not _my_ General.…I don’t care what Lucy calls you, I am not calling you ‘sir’. 

Lucy rolls her eyes and slouches in her pilot’s chair.Lois is sitting next to her, but she’s got the comms in her ear so Lucy’s basically listening to a one sided conversation. It’s something they’d agreed upon before the call since Lucy tended to have a quick temper when their father showed a blatant disregard for what was right.

Particularly when people Lucy cared about were involved.

Now she’s fighting the urge to chew her own teeth.If nothing else, she supposes Lois is at least distracting their father since she’s had him on the comms for at least ten minutes now arguing over a very moot point in Lucy’s opinion.

“…I’ll give you respect when you show it; call off the attack!Dad I— I _know_ what’s at stake but Alex and Dox—he’s a Coluuan dad!Even you have to acknowledge that level of expertise.”

Lucy plays songs in her head, sings along to the lyrics, and tries to time the jumping in her leg to the imaginary rhythm.

There’s flashing gunship fire far out ahead, x-wings and tie fighters still locked in battle despite the very probable win within the Rebels’ grasp.If Alex was to be believed, which was like every time, the Sith had handily lost this one.Although, if Lucy were a Sith, she supposes she wouldn’t go down without a fight either.

All that was left to them was a lifetime in prison, hiding, or a swift execution.

The last stand, while completely useless, was understandable.

“Dad, if you do this, you’ll be executing _hundreds_ of people without a fair trial.You might be killing some of _our_ people and—I don’t care about the rules of war!Why can’t you just for once—”

Alright.

That’s it.

Leaning forward, Lucy stabs at the comm link on her dashboard a little harsher than necessary and barely even lets it blink green before she starts unloading on the ‘General’.

“—I have people up top I answer to too Lois and I can’t—”

“Shut up General Lane.”Lucy orders, ignoring Lois’ sharp gasp and shaking head.“I need you to listen real close because you always seem to think I’m bluffing but I’m not this time.Lois and I are staying here.”

A brief stab of silence indicates just how off guard she’s actually caught her father before she hears a rumbling growl that always precedes a major lecture.

“Now you listen here young lady, I—”

Not today.

“I’m not a lady.I’m a soldier.You raised me to be a soldier and now I’m a Major and you’re going to _listen._ And the reason you’re going to listen is because I have the only person you ever loved outside of mom sitting next to me and if you fire on this ship, you’ll be killing her.”

“Lucy—"

“Are you threatening your own sister?”

“Dad, are you serious right now?That’s what you’re going to say?

“Lois is with me.You’re the one threatening her.”

“What do you want me to say Lois?”

“Tell her you love her too!”

“Of course I do.That’s not even in question right now.”

“She literally just told you it was!”

Lucy grits her teeth and shoves Lois to get her to _shut up._ “The General is right; what matters right now are those ion canons and, let me reiterate, if you use them, you’re signing Lois’ death certificate.”

“ ** _Major_** _Lane, may I remind you that I am your **father** and your commanding—”_

“I wish that were true General.I wish that I could say you were my dad the way Lois can, but I can’t.Ever since I could remember you’ve drilled it into my head that I am an expendable asset in a war I didn’t even start.Fathers don’t do that.And they don’t threaten their daughters with death if they disobey orders.Fathers don’t _give_ orders.”

There’s a tense pause and then General Lane, obviously furious and stewing in his own anger begins his demands anew.“You have ten minutes to undock from that ship before we fire.”

“Then say goodbye to your daughter.We’re not leaving our friends behind.”

“And how long exactly do you think we should let them traipse around that godforsaken thing?!”

“As long as they need if no other planets are in immediate danger. Besides, the longer they take, the more time this ship’s crew has to make it to the lifeboats.”

“Major—”

“Do what you need to do General.I’ve already said what I’m going to do.If I survive to see you, bring me up on treason.”

“Lucy—"

She cuts the connection and slams herself back in her seat, blinking rapidly up at the ceiling to quell the tears.Somewhere in the back of her head she’s aware of Lois, gentle and warm, taking her hand and pulling her against the elder’s body.What a sap.

“He loves you.”Lois murmurs.“It’s just that after mom died he—”

“Please don’t defend him.”Lucy says tiredly.“Not after that.”

Lois exhales slowly into Lucy’s hair, nose nuzzling against the crown of her head before she slowly nods.“Ok.I won’t.But he loves you.Even if he’s not a very good person, he still loves you.”Lois leans back and tips Lucy’s head up.“ _I_ love you Luce.”

The proximity sensors beep to life, draws Lucy’s attention, and saves her from responding. Good thing to as the sensor has alerted her to Alex, or well J’onn she supposes, leading their small group of friends plus three over to the Hawk.Instinct takes over as adrenaline becomes pumping anew and Lucy launches into pilot mode.She’d already preconfigured everything and so it’s mostly just her turning everything from standby to full power.

Lois, bless her, had also jumped into action, and has started hailing their designation and credentials over the airwaves so the Rebels don’t accidentally shoot them down.

The Sith ships will know they’re the enemy now but Lucy had at least prepared for them.

Myxz bleeps near her head, already docked near the nav system and confirming their trajectory one final time.

“I know it’s crazy.”Lucy mumbles, rolling her eyes when Myxz beeps again.“Listen here you hunk of metal, crazy plans work all the time because no one expects them.This will give us the element of surprise.”This time when Myxz beeps, Lucy groans in exasperation.“Yes, when we succeed, I will tell everyone that it was because of your great navigational skills ok?Now boss up little guy, let’s get our dicks wet.”Lois’ head jerks towards her in disproval, mouth poised to say something when Lucy holds her finger up and wags it.“Nope, one pseudo lecture is more than enough today.”

She pulls the controls towards her and curls her fingers around the worn leather.

Well, she thinks as they become completely airborne, this isn’t scary at all.

~*~

While Alex’s plan is fairly simple, it does require a bit of prep work.

Before her friends had left, she’d asked for any energy shields they could spare and she’s currently rewiring them so they all amplify off of each other.

Such a thing has never actually been tested for space worthiness but well… Alex didn’t really have a lot of options.

_Make sure the circuits are balanced,_ Eliza murmurs over her shoulder.It seems even as a hallucination, her mother was prone to hovering.

“I know.”Alex mumbles, flinching when one of the wires sparks at her.“Just let me do it.”

_Leave her be Eliza,_ Jeremiah smiles, _she’s got this._

Whether or not that statement was true, Alex wasn’t sure anymore.She’s pretty much holding onto one thing right now to get her through this next part and that is seeing Kara again.Her comms had stayed on throughout the team’s exit and so she’d been privy to the rather unorthodox reunion.

And it had hurt, when she’d heard Kara apologizing to J’onn and his rather standoffish acceptance thereafter.Not that Alex blamed _him,_ that was just J’onn.That’s how he’d always been ever since she’d met him and, though he could be a bit gruff and foreboding, Alex had been given the gift of seeing his softer side.As dismissive as Kara probably found this version of Alex, this was J’onn trying his best.

Whatever happened next, Alex hoped he knew how grateful she was to him.How grateful she would always be.

And she hoped Kara knew that Alex—the real Alex—would have been _way_ more receptive were it actually her down there.

The device in her hands crackles to life, the mesh of shields wired together like a makeshift blanket glowing green and blue depending on their original purpose.Honestly, it looks a bit like a death trap but well… it will have to do.Grabbing a roll of tape from her belt, Alex starts strapping the thing to her body just as Lucy hails her over the comms.

_“Crew’s on board Cap.And we’re heavy 3 enemy combatants.”_

Alex finishes lashing one of the units to her forearm and rips the tape with her teeth. “They’re not exactly enemies if they helped save the world now are they Lucy?”

“ _Tomatoes_ , _tomatoes_.”Lucy says, using a different inflection on the word endings to speak to the contradicting dialects.“ _They’re all the same to me.”_

“You’ve got a heart of gold Luce.”

_“You know it Cap; start the count down?”_

“In a minute.”Alex responds, fastening the last shield to her ankle and standing with some difficulty.The room fades to blacks and greys for a moment before her vision refocuses and she’s no longer spinning.“Clones were evacuated?”

_“Yes ma’am.”_

“Good.” Alex nods to no one, hauling the large piece of sheet metal she’d found over to the door in preparation.“Good.”Her next steps lead her to Winn’s console set up and she hesitates with her hand over the enter key.“Luce, if this doesn’t work—”

_“We’re not doing that.This was your idea you jackass.”_

“I know.I know but just… I’m…”She forces herself to stop.No matter how much the words might soothe her, she knows Lucy doesn’t want them.“Can you just tell her that I tried?”

_“Press the damn button Cap, I’ve got you.”_

“I love you.”

_“I’ve **got** you.”_

Alex swallows.

Breathes.

“Start the countdown.”

Stabs the key and watches the sequence begin to execute.

There’s a dull hum at first, and then the ground beneath her begins to shake.Good, that was a good sign.

One of the few good things that happens since the sudden movement wasn’t so great for traction and she instantly begins to slip and slide trying to get back to the entryway.She’s got her blaster rifle set up by the door, already on the highest setting and modded out to something akin to a small canon.The weapon had seen her through many a tough spot, but this would by far be the most important.

For all of her talk about this being the only way and what not, and for all that she _knows_ this is actually her best shot at survival, Alex was still going to be really mad if this didn’t work out.

She’s got seconds before her whole world blows up.

Literally.

Crouching down behind the sheet metal, she wraps an elbow around a bent piece of rebar like a shield, holds her blaster in one arm, and prays that her strength holds out for just a little while longer.Her parents stand in front of her wavering a bit as the heat begins to build around them.

“I’m not ready.”She tells them in no uncertain terms.

Eliza smiles at her. _My beautiful girl,_ her mother says. _As long as you stay safe._

Jeremiah nods. _Be brave for me.You’ve got this._

Alex takes a deep breath; _I’ve got this._

And then Alex’s entire world is _hot, hot, hot, hot._ Wind whips all around her, the energy shields sparking and crackling as they fight to protect her from the literal bomb that’s just gone off.It’s instinct to close her eyes, the heat trying to dry out every inch of her despite the shields’ attempt to protect her, smoke filtering in and choking her as she’s shot through the air like a bullet.The sheer g-force of the explosion makes it absurdly difficult to lift her gun arm and, though Alex manages it, she still has to shoot blindly, trusting in the precalculated trajectory her body should be on.

The entirety of her survival in these few moments rely on the metal shield she’d concocted taking the brunt of the force and on her original position giving her a clear shot at the large window that had acted as an anti-matter magnifier.

It all happens in seconds, a barely calculable timeframe that sees her first on solid ground and then in space in a blink of an eye.Her metal shield is torn from her, warped and hot enough that Alex barely mourns its loss.And, while before all Alex could think of was _hot, hot, hot,_ she is now completely consumed by the overwhelming cold that leeches into her so quickly and thoroughly that she feels it in her bones.

She doesn’t dare breathe, keeps her eyes locked closed as tightly as she can and tries not to think of dying out here.

A space death would be quick, but it wouldn’t be painless.

Just as quickly as her death starts to be a real concern, she’s slamming into something _hard,_ forcing the air out of her lungs and making her take a desperate, fear rattled breath.It’s instinct alone that makes her eyes fly open, hands scrambling for something to hold onto even as Maggie grabs her around the waist and hauls her to her chest.

And it is very suddenly hot again.

And loud.

Very loud.

Footsteps thunder above her head and J’onn rushes down with Winn and… Kara.He’s got Kara—or rather her sister has her but well, Kara is here and Alex has all of a half second to bask in that before Lucy is pulling one of her god-awful maneuvers that sends Alex’s belly straight into her throat.

The ship strains and groans and Lucy was kind of right about that new car smell and Alex is certain she’s just killed them all by making them stay behind and wait for her when smoke begins to fill the back compartment.

Kara hasn’t noticed her yet, but she does weakly assist her sister in getting the door shut.

An older woman, Kara’s aunt if Alex remembers correctly is sitting completely still in the middle of the room in what looks to be a meditative pose.

A blue glow emanates off of her and by god is it hot.Her chest feels heavy, she can’t breathe, and Maggie is screaming and—

~*~

By the time Lucy’s got them in hyperspace, Kara is bone tired.

Emotionally, she’s barely on a functional level and only the thought of her friends dying after they’d sacrificed so much to come back for her, has her jumping to their aid when Kas calls for her.

Kas had dragged her back down the steps to help secure the ship when it became very clear it was about to be ripped apart at the seams.Or, at least it might have been if Astra hadn’t used what strength was left to her to put a shield over the ship.The damage, Kara thinks, is thus relegated mostly to the cargo area, and she and Kas put out the flames with their freeze breath, calling on already depleted stores of energy.The small fire goes out without much fuss, but it still begs the question:

“Why would you open the doors?”It’s Kassandra who asks it, Kara’s curiosity is completely lost to her.“You almost ripped one of them off doing a jump like that.”

Unfortunately she’s ignored as J’onn rushes past them, finally back in his Martian form and face gripped with worry.

Kara sags against the wall and watches him.

It’s kind of tempting to trip him but—

She lurches up.

Stumbles forward until Kas catches her and helps her to Maggie’s side.

Then Lucy is there, and Kara practically pushes them all out of the way to get to her—

To get to—

Oh.

Oh _Rao._

Alex blinks up her with hazy eyes, body trembling with cold, a dopey smile forming on her face when she realizes whose lap she’s now laying in.

“We’ve really got to work on your whole “you-saving-me” thing.Maybe try for something less deadly next time.”

“You left me!”Kara sobs, pressing her face close to Alex’s and clutching at her burned jacket.“I thought you were dead!”

“It’s ok.”Alex murmurs.“I’m here now.”

A hand on her shoulder makes Kara flinch and curl around Alex protectively but when she looks up, it’s only Maggie with a stressed expression.

“We’ve got to get her in a Bacta tank Kara, she’ll bleed out if we wait any longer.”

Oh.

Yeah.

Ok.

Her earlier exhaustion is a thing of the past, adrenaline pumping through her veins and making her confident enough to lace her arms underneath Alex’s broken body.But, when she goes to lift, Alex screams and slaps at her arms frantically.

“Put me down, put me down!”The sound scrapes against Kara’s insides and she immediately does as she’s told, exchanging a worried look with Lucy and Maggie as Alex struggles for breath below them.“I can’t.”She gasps, “you can’t move me.I can’t.I’m sorry.I’m so sorry.”

There’s blood dribbling down Alex’s chin, pooling in her mouth in a rather ominous show of what’s actually happening right now.Kara feels her hands shake as she looks down at Alex’s body with fresh eyes, takes in the way her clothes are burned or singed, the way she smells of smoke and ash and—and blood.

But Alex isn’t _bleeding._ At least not a lot.

There are a few scrapes here and there but nothing life threatening!Nothing that should make her—

A lightbulb goes off in Kara’s head and she jerks her head up and yells, “lights!”

Just like that, the recessed solar lights Alex had installed come on and solar energy fills Kara’s cells.She wastes no time in using her x-ray vision to see the internal mess of Alex’s body; there are at least two lightsaber injuries, multiple contusions, blood pooling in areas Kara’s fairly certain blood isn’t meant to pool… and there’s something not right about the way her blood is moving through her body.A slush sound every time her heart beats.

A wet tacky flutter whenever she takes a breath.

“I wanted to get back to you.”Alex is saying, whispering more like. Her head is bobbing a little and it takes a second for Kara to realize she’s not doing that of her own accord. “I wanted to see you again.I’m so sorry Kara.”

“It’s ok.”Kara soothes, even though she’s not sure how anything could ever be ok again.She pulls Alex up a little closer to her, being as gentle as possible and still wincing when Alex cries out.“We’re ok Alex.Everything is going to be… you’ll be…”

She can’t finish the sentence; can’t lie even now.

Feels Kas behind her squeezing her shoulder.

“Hey Cap,” Lucy says urgently, “we’ve got the tank ready for you.It’s just a few more steps and—”

“You’re a good friend.”Alex interrupts, breath staggering through a chest that is jumping violently under Kara’s hand.“You’re—”

“Shut the fuck up and get off your ass Danvers.”Maggie grabs Alex’s hand but stops short of pulling.“This was your stupid idea so—”

Whatever else they say is lost on Kara as she’s drawn, inextricably to a point of heat to her left.J’onn stands there next to the Bacta tank he had seemingly just carried over staring at Kara expectantly.But Kara has no idea why and his gaze only intensifies the longer they lock eyes.

“I don’t know what to do.”She admits because it looks like he expects her to do something.But she’s all dried up.

Fighting Mobius has taken everything out of her.Her Force powers are completely depleted, and it will take a lot of time and rest for them to get back to anything resembling normalcy. Which means performing a healing on Alex is out of the question.And Kas has never been great at healing; Kara’s own wrist has started to bleed again beneath the makeshift bandages.

Astra is as used up as Kara is from saving the ship and Mikhail, although undoubtedly strong, is still just a boy.And an untrained healing could be just as damaging as an outright attack.

Whatever J’onn wants, Kara isn’t sure she can accomplish it.

She knows she’ll die trying.

“She is your mate.”J’onn says simply and juts his chin at Astra.

Astra sniffs and turns up her nose a bit, but she steps forward and kneels just behind Kara.

“Human do you—”

“Alex.”Kara interrupts quickly, heart pounding so loud she’s afraid everyone can hear how panicked she actually is.“Her name is Alex Danvers.”

“Alex Danvers.” Astra corrects, before softly adding, “Brave one.My niece has chosen you as her beloved: her Zhao and chosen bondmate.Do you return this choice?”

“No.”Alex dismisses immediately, sending a sickening blow to Kara’s _everything_.“Not if it means you’re tied to a dead woman for the rest of your life.”

Stupid, self-sacrificing, jerk—

“Do you love me?”Kara asks.

Alex is blinking slowly now, eyes losing more and more of their focus the longer this plays out.

“My entire life,” Alex huffs, words coming between gasps of breath, “I’ve never wanted anyone the way I want you.”

Which… isn’t love exactly but Kara will take it.Alex can learn to love her.With time maybe she can learn to love her.

“Then do this for me.”Kara doesn’t even care that she sounds desperate.That she’s practically begging now in the face of what could be Alex’s death.“Just this one last thing; if you love me and your only hesitation is your… if… please.Please Alex.”

Alex just blinks at her, Kara watching Lucy dab at Alex’s chin and mouth with a cloth as more blood spills out.

“Do you return this choice?”Astra asks again.

Brow crinkling, Alex looks _so_ lost, eyes barely focusing anymore as she looks at a spot over Kara’s shoulder.“No, not yet. I… please… I have to… tell her…I… I love…”

Kara doesn’t even want to know who she’s talking to, squeezes her hand to bring her back to the now.“You have to say yes Alex.You need to choose.Do you choose me?”

Alex blinks up at her, lips twitching into that almost smile that Kara adores even as her chest slows its desperate jumping.“Always.”

It’s all the acknowledgement Kara needs.

Astra presses solidly at a pressure point near the back of Kara’s skull, releasing the core functionalities of her DNA.Normally in a bonding, the setting would be more intimate.Not sex, not necessarily, although Kara wouldn’t be opposed, but definitely just between the two mates.

In a perfect world, Astra would have performed the ceremony to cheers not bated breath; Kara would have taken Alex to bed after and shown her the depths of her devotion; proven to her again and again how much Kara adored every inch of her; Alex would have been the one to initiate the bond not Astra; and Kara would have asked her, sweetly and without compulsion, if she would accept her.

But this isn’t a perfect world and, although Alex has given her answer, Kara still feels guilty that maybe she isn’t completely aware.

Maybe Alex was dreaming, or she’d misunderstood.

Shamefully, Kara doesn’t care.In this moment, she feels it would be better to lose Alex’s trust than it would be to lose her to death.

So she bites her.

Feels welts and burns blister and burst over her skin.

Astra lays a steadying hand at the base of her neck, pouring healing Force energies into her as she takes on Alex’s burdens as her own.

Kassandra doesn’t need the physical contact; Kara feels her almost as clearly as she’s beginning to feel Alex.

Beneath her tongue, Alex’s artery jumps.Once.Twice.And then it’s throbbing in a steady rhythm and Astra is speaking the last of the rites and Alex’s breathing sounds like breathing and only then does Kara let go.

Traditionally, this would be a moment of joy but, despite the life saving maneuver, a bond had never been attempted when one of the mates was so close to demise.And, though her family had done their best to curb the worst of it, they were still just as weakened as Kara was and their healing had done little more than sustain her through the process. 

Kara can barely keep her eyes open, is eternally grateful when Kas catches her and guides her body back along the floor.

Alex’s eyes are shut but Kara can see her breathing; she’s asleep and she looks so peaceful it makes Kara ache with relief and love.

She can feel Alex inside her now, is starting to feel her own love as an echo within Alex’s heart.

The injuries may not be completely gone, Alex _will_ still need time in a Bacta tank but… They’ve won.

The war, the battle… they’d won it all.And somehow, they’re both alive.

As her own consciousness leaves her, the solar energy still filtering into her ensuring she won’t be out for _too_ long, Kara knows that the people around her will make sure it stays that way.

~*~

With Alex out of commission, the chain of command leaves Lucy in charge.

As much as it pains her to do, she steers the ship out of hyperspace and directly into a Rebel envoy.General Lane had their coordinates, their signature, and their beacon.

Even if Lucy had wanted to run—which she very much does—they wouldn’t have gotten very far.Even if they’d managed to escape, they don’t have any supplies.The Hawk is running low on fuel and, if they did try to make a jump, that would be it; they’d be running on empty.

Outrunning the entire rebellion with those odds is just a death sentence.

Stealing another ship would be a better option.

Or, you know, hoping the General was kidding even though he’s never joked in his entire life.

“I’ll talk to him.”Lois whispers, just slightly behind Lucy as they make their way down the gangplank. General Lane is already waiting at the bottom with a handful of service droids, clones, and… Clark?“We just saved the Galaxy; we’re not criminals.”

“How about Kara’s family?”

Shrugging, Lois answers simply, “There’s a story there too I’m sure.Did you see the way they didn’t kill us?That’s a good sign at least.”

“Smartass.”Lucy laughs, surprising herself with the ability to do so since she’d been going for a sneer.Lois smirks at her and Lucy reaches over and entwines their pinky fingers.“Stay with me ok?”

“I’ve got your back.”Lois promises.

The second Lois steps foot on the ground, Clark breaks protocol and rushes over to hug her.

Lucy does not step off the gangplank; the height advantage gives her a measure of confidence she can’t afford to lose.

“Thank Rao you’re ok.”

“Easy Jakku, I’ve been doing lots of soldiering and I’m sore.”

Clark huffs, squeezes her one more time, and then let’s go.

Lucy stares at her father.

Lane stares back.

“We have a confirmed destruction of the Sith’s weapon sir.”Lois says from her side, stepping forward so she’s slightly between her father and sister.“Fully accounted for crew and… Darth Mobius is gone.”

Clark sucks in a breath.

“Dead?”It’s not a surprise that the General wants confirmation; also not a surprise that he refuses to take his eyes off of Lucy.

“No.Not exactly, from what I understood he was cleansed by the Force and there wasn’t anything left afterwards.”

“The Wall of Light.”Clark breathes.

“Speak up son, no one can hear you when you talk like that.”

“It’s meant to be a legend.”That sounds like Lena, but Lucy is too caught up in her staring contest to check.“The Jedi of old were said to be able to create a wall of pure Light energy that would eradicate all signs of the Dark side from their opponents, returning them forevermore to the Light.I thought it wasn’t real.”

“If you thought that before, what makes you believe them now?”

“Because I felt it.I was a _part_ of it.”Lena steps up next to Lane and Lucy can now just make her out from her peripherals.Lane’s face is getting super red now.“Your friend,” Lena tells Lucy, “called to all of us in the Light and we lent her our aid.”Then to Lane.“What she says is true.”

General Lane’s eyes narrow, bushy brows lowering imperiously as he gives one short decisive nod.

“Good.It’s a shame we lost so many in that sacrifice.”

Lucy scowls, “we didn’t lose anyone you—”

“We’ll give them a proper funeral of course.”Completely ignoring Lucy, Lane turns to Lena instead and gives his full attention to the Jedi Master.“The heroes of the Ebon Hawk should be remembered for taking out the greatest threat to the Galaxy and his followers.”

“What the hell are you—”

The grin that marks Lena’s face looks more than a little alarming, especially since her canines are a bit sharper than a human’s.“I completely agree General.The Senate will be saddened that they won’t be able to bring the criminals up on war crimes, but I’m sure they’ll be satisfied with news of their presumed death.”

Lucy’s heart stops and she can only look helplessly between a now joyful Lois and a General who looks like he’s aged ten more years in the span of a blink.

“They were good soldiers.”Lane says gruffly, voice only getting rougher the longer he speaks until it sounds like sandpaper on wood.“Better people.I… If I could tell Lucy just one more thing, it would be that I loved her from her first breath.And that I am sorry that I was… limited in how I could show that.And that her mother and I are so very proud of the woman she became.I hope she knows that.”

“I’m sure she does.”Lena says, eyeing Lucy’s still dumbfounded figure with amusement.“Come General, this area will be swept in five minutes.Let’s give the receiving team some room to work yes?”

Nodding, Lane takes a step but is almost immediately stopped when Lucy barrels down the rest of the gangplank and embraces him from behind.

Nothing her father has ever done is ok; she’s got enough trauma to start her own psych ward but this?What he’s doing now?Choosing Lucy over the damned Republic Senators?It’s all she’s ever wanted.It’s so _stupid_ that he’s doing this now when it means they’ll likely never see each other again.

“Thank you.”She breathes, squeezing as hard as she can and inhaling sharply.There’s a strong smell of cigar smoke and leather; space and _home_.

For all his flaws, there had never been a day where Lucy had wished him permanently removed from her life.Now that that day is here, she feels like a lost little girl.

More so when she finally let’s go and sees Lois’ tear filled eyes.

Her sister hugs her as tightly as Lucy had hugged her father, who has practically run from the room.

“We’ll be your eyes and ears.”Lois promises.“Stay alert.I swear on my life I’ll see you again Lucy.”

Lucy nods, unable to speak as tears drip like a stream down her face.

Lois pulls back and frames her face between her palms.“I love you Lucy.More than anything in the world, I love you.”

Lucy nods again; glares at Clark.“Take care of her.”

“I will.”He nods at the ship.“Take care of them.”

“I will.”

“Go.”Lois says, shoving her back towards the Hawk.“You don’t have much time before the receiving team gets here and if they mark that they saw the Hawk dock…”

Nodding jerkily, Lucy takes one last look at them before spinning on her heel and running back into the ship.

She almost collides headfirst with Cat Grant.

“Oh good.”The woman says.“I was beginning to worry I’d need to cause a distraction.”

“We have to go.”Lucy calls out, bypassing Cat and speaking loud enough that she hopes everyone can hear her.“Anyone who doesn’t want to spend their life on the run should leave now.”

She doesn’t wait for an answer but is slightly mollified when Maggie joins her in the co-pilot chair.

“We need to make a stop.”Maggie says nonchalantly, pulling on a headset.“I still need to pick up Jamie.”

“What about your wife?”

“Eh, she’s in the back.She and Cat started loading the ship as soon as you docked.”

“They what?”

“Yep.”Winn flops into the jump seat with an exaggerated sigh.“Clark helped them set it all up and when your dad almost caught them, he acted as a distraction.”

Heart flipping all over her chest, Lucy shakes her head and focuses on getting the Hawk airborne.Clark breaking the rules and her Dad lying to the Senate for them were two things she’d never have seen coming but they were also mysteries for another day.

Right now, if she wants her friends and Kara’s family to live, she needs to get them out of here.

“We can’t get far.”Lucy comments as she focuses on steering them out of the dock.“We need to refuel.”

“Clark carried over about ten fuel pods.”Winn shrugs.“That should get us a nice hyperjump.”

“And we’ve got food,” Maggie adds, turning on their radar functionality.“So…”

“So.”Lucy huffs with a laugh.“Where’s your kid?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alex convincing everyone: I admittedly teared up when Winn tried to stay behind. Poor guy's gonna need a lot of help to overcome what James did to him.
> 
> Lucy of course could pull it off so she agrees but it's more a testament to the trust she and Alex have for each other. If she thought for one second Alex was talking BS, she would have gone in there and dragged her out herself.
> 
> Then Cat is of course thinking big picture; she wrangles Clark into helping because she's got zero muscles and needs assistance but she also needs him to confront what he did wrong because ignoring it is just hurting both him and Kara. That comes up briefly in the epilogue and I'll headcanon an idea when I finish writing it.
> 
> Senator Amedda is a jackass from the actual Star Wars franchise. Fuck that guy.
> 
> Cat calling Clark a backwater planet boy is a reference to the comics when they call him a country boy/ farm boy.
> 
> Also, I have no idea how ships are actually refueled in star wars and I'm happy to know that not very many people do on the internet either. Almost lost my nerd card. I headcanon that it's fuel cells or pods (cannisters) that you can just insert and pull out when they're empty and refill as needed. You can do this internally so you don't have to dock at "gas" stations. In my head this is a thing, not sure of the actual canonical answer.
> 
> Uhm… the whole reason Alex thinks this is a good plan is because they generally tell you not to move when you have internal bleeding. They'd probably also recommend you don't get blown up but that's why Alex made the energy shield... shield. It took the brunt of the blows, protected her from the elements and space, and absorbed most of the g-force energies her body experienced. Alternatively, she would have had to make it down to Kara, then make it back to the Hawk while battling her way past leftover droids and/or Sith soldiers. Her odds were shit to begin with but at least her plan got her back to her crew. BUT... she still got blown up and no matter how inventive she was, the explosion still made her worse and thus she starts to go into organ failure due to internal hemorrhaging.
> 
> Now the bond, one reader mentioned that I brought this up a while ago and never again. Booyah, I brought it up again. You get two points. I'll probably mention this in the epilogue as well, but in that original conversation between J'onn and Alex about Bonds, I said that there needed to be a trial. Alex basically saving the Galaxy after Kara saved the Galaxy obviously counts as a successful trial and so Astra starts the rites. Alex gets her bite and Kara gets her girl. Happy endings abound.
> 
> Force energies and Kryptonian abilities are not tied together. While the Kryptonians have been tapped dry by the Force, they still have at least some of their Kryptonian abilities and are able to recharge via yellow sunlamps a la Alex.
> 
> Then General Lane; I orginally wrote this as Lena letting them escape but after watching She-Ra and seeing the non-redemption of Shadow Weaver, I decided to give Lane a shot. I didn't really care for Shadow Weaver's arc but it was a tidy cleanup and likewise, Lane deserved a chance to show that Lucy was a priority even if he wouldn't choose her over his career. Hence he lets her go but doesn't go with her. An asshole dad who still cares even if it's not enough and man is that a thing that happens in real life.
> 
> Clark and Lois will be keeping the team up to date on everything that happens so they know where to move and when and yes, Lois will visit Lucy.
> 
> Lois calling Clark Jakku, is a reference to her calling him Kansas. Headcanon is Clark was raised on Jakku simply because I could then reference SWTFA with Rey who grew up on Jakku.
> 
> So now we have the originals on board (Alex, Lucy, Kara, Winn, Maggie, Myxz) Dox and Cat. J'onn and Nia. And Kaznia, Astra and Mikhail. And Kate. I think I got everybody? Hopefully. Full ship. I think the EH has 12 beds? In my head it's got 3 rooms with 4 bunks, and then Alex's quarters. So everyone will fit...
> 
> Also, I Vaz made it but they didn't join the EH crew because they didn't commit a crime. They'll be resuming her duties and starting education on LGBTQIA+ concerns within the military :)
> 
> And then we come full circle, the team now has to go find Maggie's kid. I didn't even plan it like that it just worked out so perfectly I couldn't resist and now I'm just... so sad to see this story go. Wow. I think it's been a little over a year since I started writing this and just... thanks for sticking with me guys.
> 
> ~Chronicles.


	34. Epilogue: Somebody once told me the world is gonna roll me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> And they kind of just kept living

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As promised the long awaited epilogue even if it is very late. ...I was playing video games a lot. The Last of Us Part 1 rocked my center of gravity and now I'm half convinced Covid-19 is a zombie virus and WHAT ARE WE GONNA DO?!
> 
> Eh hem...
> 
> Song: Smashmouth- All Star

Kas has seen a lot of war.For most of the life she’s lived, she’s been in some sort of combat training, battle strategizing, or actual fights.

She’s killed more people than she can stomach.

Orphaned and imprisoned countless more.

And yet somehow she’d still wound up here…

With a fresh start.

With her family.

On a planet rife with potential if not lacking a few key resources.

Like indoor plumbing.

Her current surroundings paint a pretty picture at least; the dying sun spewing out bursts of oranges and reds that in turn touch the trees and plants and the dirt beneath her feet so that just the edges of their reality touch the sky.For just one moment everything is connected, and it gives Kas a sense of calm.

Like she’s the smallest being in the universe.

Like everything she’s done is inconsequential.

It isn’t.

It can never be but she for just these few moments she can pretend.

Hope.

That maybe she’d be accepted into the whole again.

Instead of standing on the outside looking in at all the happy reunions and wondering when her turn for serenity would come.

“You always did find the best spots.”Kara says from behind her, her presence both shocking Kassandra and not.

It’s been so long since she felt her sister that she’d forgotten how to recognize her presence, but on the other hand it was like Kara had never left.

…

Like _Kas_ had never left.

“This one found me.”She admits, scooting over a bit on the cliffside and letting Kara join her.Unlike Kas, who was much more comfortable with her knees tucked to her legs folded _away_ from danger, Kara scoots close to the edge and lets her feet hang over empty air.“Sorry I made you come all the way out here; I must have lost track of time.”

Not completely untrue but given the nature of the instructions, Kas also hadn’t felt any great urge to return to the small camp they’d set up.The Kryptonians were mostly back to their normal strength aside from Kara who had apparently “solar-flared” during her bonding process.She’s still got the scars to prove it and everything, which is more than a little disconcerting for Kaznia.

She hates seeing Kara hurt.

Hates that _she’s_ the reason Kara is hurt.

And she especially hates that, even though she and Astra can hear and see for miles around, it had still been decided that Kassandra would scout the perimeter.As if there were truly any danger lurking that she wouldn’t be able to see with her abilities.

As if their subtle attempts to get her away from their little clique would go unnoticed.

Rao had told her she wouldn’t feel lonely for long, but if they were just going to send her out on bogus missions… 

Kas had thought she’d have a chance at redemption.She can’t do much redeeming if they don’t give her a chance.

“Stop that.”Kara says, pushing her shoulder and nearly sending _herself_ toppling to the side.“I can hear you thinking all the way over here.”

Catching her twin’s hand, Kas tugs Kara back to safety and gently sets her back upright.“No you can’t.That’s not how it works.”

“Fine.But I _can_ feelyou and whatever you’re thinking about isn’t good.”

“I’m just thinking.I’m allowed.”

“You are.”Kara says simply, kicking her feet a little.

To anyone else it might seem like she was letting the subject drop; it would seem like Kara was allowing Kas to have her secrets, but Kara had always been persistent and Kas had never been able to hide anything from her.It had been a point of contention between them when they were younger.Kas would want to sulk and Kara would want to fix.

Kas would want to resolve her own issues and fight her own battles and Kara would always want to help.

There was no escaping Kara when she saw someone in need.

When she saw _Kassandra_ in need.

She’d spent her entire childhood trying to prove how much she didn’t need her twin, to gain her own independence and identity.When she had lost her, it had only proven that without Kara, Kas was destined for evil.From her explosive Force powers to the entire taking over the galaxy stint, Kara had been stuck cleaning up Kassandra’s messes since infancy.

It was high time she got an apology.

But, when it comes, it’s not nearly as confident as Kassandra had intended.The “I’m sorry” that leaves her catching on chords and tongue until it’s little more than a croaked whisper.

Luckily, Kara’s always been in-tune with her.

“I know.”Kara sighs.“It’s ok.”

“It’s not.”

Her twin flashes a smirk over her shoulder, the sun creating a halo of red and orange around her blonde head. “I just said it was.Or, at least it will be.”

“Kara…”The sudden stinging in her eyes takes her off guard, and Kas ducks her head, hiding herself from view by curling even tighter into her ball.“I thought you’d be angry with me.”

“No.Not you.I was just miserable because I thought I’d lost you.I thought _you_ had lost you.”

“That doesn’t even make any sense.”

Kara clucks her tongue.“You never did understand my mighty brain.”

Choosing not to respond to _that,_ Kas instead circles back to the point.She knows that Kara knows much of what happened to her but… she still feels like she needs to explain.Like she needs her to know Kas’ side of all this even if she’s already got the general overview.

She deserves a _thorough_ apology.Complete with explanation and questions and any hate Kara decides is warranted.

Forgiveness might take time but Kas is willing to work for it.

She’s bone tired but this is Kara and if she could dedicate her life to trying to clean up after Kassandra, the least Kas could do was thank her.

“I thought I was doing the right thing.”She admits quietly, slowly peeking out of her shell to see that Kara’s now moved to sit in front of her, legs folded neatly between them.“I thought… he said no one would ever feel pain again.He promised.”

Kara smiles but it’s small and painful to look at it, leeching understanding and sympathy that makes Kas want to hide again.

“Well,” Kara says, “he didn’t lie about the pain thing, but his methods left a lot to be desired.Given the choice between pain and death, I think a lot of people would lean toward the former.”

“Everything just hurt so much, and I didn’t know _why._ ”The part of her that Mobius had raised balks at the sob that lodges in her throat, ashamed of the tears that stream down her cheeks.The part of her that had grown up with Kara knows that she’s safe; knows that above anyone else, Kara will hold her anguish with careful hands, far away from prying eyes.“I wanted it to stop.For everyone.”

“Kas… Mobius he—what he did to you wasn’t your fault Kas.He manipulated you.He lied and he spoke half-truths and—it _wasn’t_ your fault.You never would have done those things on your own.You’re a _good_ person _.”_

“I don’t feel like a good person.”

Scooching a little closer, Kara takes the hands Kas has locked on either elbow and pulls them into her own lap.

“We’ll work on that.”Kara says, playing with Kassandra’s fingers for a second before squeezing her hands and meeting eyes identical to her own.There’s so much hope there.“Now that we’re together again, we can do anything.El Mayarah right?”

“El Mayarah.”Kas agrees and if she sniffles it’s probably because the planet itself is so dusty.

“I have so much I want to tell you.”Kara continues with mounting excitement, “so much to show you!My friends!Winn is smarter than the both of us and Dox is even smarter than him!Alex has a whole book collection that you’ll just love!And Lucy is—”

“I like her.Your Zhao.She is…”Kas thinks of their fight— _both_ of their fights and can’t help the pleased grin that tugs at her mouth. “Competent.”

When Kara rolls her eyes, head tilting back in exasperation, her neck is put on full display.It leaves the thin silver of their mother’s pendant in Kaznia’s view, a small rather charming addition dangling next to the blue crystal.It’s a chunk of space rock fished out of Alex Danvers’ pocket before she’d been carefully laid to recover in a Bacta tank.Slightly poetic that this particular rock was perfectly broken into a sphere with small bursts of cone rods over its surface.

A little sun.

If Alex Danvers had done nothing but this, Kas would still be in her debt simply for having loved her sister so well.

Kara grins.“She’s amazing Kas.I can’t wait for you to get to know her.For her to get to know _you._ ”Wrinkling her nose, Kara back peddles a little in her praise.“She’s a little stiff at first but she’s really funny once you get to know her.…kind of like you actually!”

“I am not stiff.”

“That was stiff!What you just did there was the definition of stiff!”

Rolling her eyes, Kas wipes what’s left of her tears away and allows her knees to part a little and drop to the ground.

“Not stiff.”

“Oh yeah,” Kara chuckles, kissing the back of one of Kas’ still trapped hands.“Definition of relaxation right there.”She sighs and nuzzles into Kas’ palm.“Tell me about Mikhail.”

“Well… he’s very curious.Intelligent, though just rather nosy.Like you.”

“Hey!”

“Hey!”

The two indignant shouts come at the same time just from separate sources. Kassandra watches with amusement as Kara’s expression switches from insulted to bewildered when she looks up into the trees and sees Mikhail perched above their heads.

“Uhhh…”To her credit, Kara looks more impressed than irritated.“How long has he been up there?”

“I’m protecting Kaznia!”Mikhail leaps down from the branch he’d been using as a chair, using the Force to cushion his fall.“I am her padawan.”

Kara wants to laugh.Kas can see she wants to laugh.

She’s very grateful when she doesn’t.

“Of course.I’m very sorry for forgetting.”

Relaxing a bit, Mikhail nods before hesitantly coming closer.“Are you a Jedi?”

“No.”Kara says immediately.“But I do walk in the Light.”

“Oh.”He glances at Kas who gives him an encouraging nod.There had been so many times she’d had questions in her own training and both Jedi and Sith alike had shot her down.Had referred her to the code as if that answered anything about anything.She’d already vowed not to continue that methodology.Mikhail deserved better and Kas would be better.For him and for Kara.

“I’m not a Jedi either,” he says.“I used to be a Sith but then I quit. They’re not very nice.”

“No.”Kara says with barely disguised mirth.“They’re not.”

“Now I’m just a kid.”Mikhail continues with a faux casual shrug, eyes bouncing off of the tree line like he expects an attack at any moment.“But Kaznia says I need to work on acting like one.”

“I can help with that!I don’t mean to brag, but I was known to be the funner twin in my hay-day.”

“What’s a hay-day?”

The easy interaction fills Kassandra with peace, two of the most important people in her life continuing their conversation as if they’d known each other for some time rather than just the three or so days since they’d met.Kas hadn’t even known how worried she’d been about Kara’s reaction to her padawan and now that she sees it’s positive… dammit.

She knows she cries easy, at least outside of her “Sith life”, but this was just ridiculous.

Behind her a tree branch snaps but Kas doesn’t need to look up to see that it’s just Astra.

She _does_ look up when she hears the erratic heartbeat and is more than a little gratified that Astra is crying as well.

Just… with a lot more poise than Kas is capable of.

Doesn’t matter, she thinks as their aunt joins them and listens in on Kara giving Mikhail the pros and cons of making mud pies vs actual pies.She was at least safe here.

And when Kara’s Alex wakes up, Kas vows to show her the same level of decency and warmth Kara is exhibiting now.

And maybe, instead of healing alone, they can heal together.

El Mayarah.

~*~

_Three Weeks Later_

“You _do_ know that I could totally see through your hands if I wanted to, right?”

“Yes.”Alex says easily, guiding Kara through the last doorway and keeping her hands in place over her girlfriend’s eyes.“But I also know that you’re a sucker for a good surprise, so you won’t.”

Kara laughs right up until they have to take a few steps down and then quickly shifts focus.

“Come here,” she demands, keeping her eyes shut but still spinning around and holding out her arms for Alex.“Your ribs still hurt you when you use the steps.”

Rolling her eyes a little at the dramatics, Alex only acquiesces because it’s true.Her ribs _do_ hurt when she uses the stairs and so does her back and her shoulder and any number of her still healing injuries.They may have closed up weeks ago, but the internal machinations of the human body were extremely delicate and Alex… didn’t really know how to sit still.

Besides.

Retired life was something she’d been looking forward to for a while now and she’d wanted to get a jumpstart on it as soon as she’d gotten out of that stupid tank.

She still thinks Lucy kept her in there longer as a form of payback.

“Just go straight.”Alex tells a now floating Kara when she’s cradled her to her chest, tugging her hair a little to steer her and internally laughing at herself for doing so.

“I am not a horse.”

“Giddy-yup.”

“You think you’re so funny.”Kara grumbles, returning to the ground when Alex presses down on her shoulder.“But you’re not.”

“My humor is world-renowned.”

Kara makes a noise in her throat as Alex takes her hand and leads her the last few steps, turning her head up a little and sniffing at the air in open curiosity.“Actually, M’gann says you get your sense of humor from your dad and that it’s the worst thing that happened to the Galaxy.”

“Because she’s jealous.”Alex maintains, toeing off her shoes and carefully stepping over the slightly sloped and wet floor to stand in front of Kara.“Ok; open your eyes.”

By the time Alex had gotten out of the Bacta tank, her friends had already settled on a planet to make their new home.It of course had to be a friendly planet so, you know, nothing that either the remaining Legion soldiers or the Republic would have too much interest in.

Which left out all war occupied planets.

And, as easy as it would be to get lost in the fray, they would have a hard time settling in smuggler land since Gravak still had a price on their heads.

It had taken a while but when Dox had mentioned Sorgan as a possibility, citing its lack of a star port, industrial centers, or even significant population density, the decision had been unanimous.The odds of anyone finding them there would be very close to none; 11 percent were the odds Dox gave them.

Which was good enough for everyone else to get on board.

Especially since it was a planet with a yellow sun.

The Kryptonian’s would be able to recover well there and they coincidentally had all the supplies they’d need for solar energy panels.

Which is why, Alex supposes, when she’d come out of the tank Kara and her family and the Martians had already created much of the exoskeleton of a rather humble compound.Nothing that would attract too much attention from space, in fact it was located in the thick of the forested area rather than on the more habitable plains or wetlands, but they’d already come up with an irrigation system and Dox and Winn had used that to start a small electrical grid.

There had also been the beginnings of a greenhouse with vertical farming, rainwater harvester, and many more eco-friendly alternatives.

Needless to say, Alex had felt left out and had immediately taken charge of designing the houses.Specifically, the house that would belong to her and Kara.

Well.

Not immediately.

First, there were introductions to be had.

Kara, of course, had been eagerly waiting for the very second Alex could be let out of the Bacta tank and she’d been the first person Alex had seen when she’d woken up.Second had been J’onn and then Nia and Maggie and Winn…

Lucy had been avoiding her.

When Alex had been well enough to walk around by herself, Kara had dragged her out into the rather startlingly bright sunshine and introduced her to Astra, Kassandra, and Mikhail.At the time, Astra had been going over blueprints with Mikhail, pointing out what each shape and symbol represented while Kassandra had been lounging against a tree with a book in her hand.

They’d both clearly been engrossed in their activities, but the moment Kara had called out to them, they’d all looked up with varying degrees of happiness.

The scene was so inherently opposed to everything Alex had ever imagined the two women capable of that she’d admittedly been caught off guard and, as a result, had been a little stiff when Kara had exuberantly introduced her to Astra and then Kassandra in turn.

Also, there was the small part of these women being responsible for thousands of deaths, including the ones on Yavin.

Including Eliza.

It had been very clear from the moment Alex had stepped off the ship that there were two factions in the camp that only Kara, Winn, and J’onn had seemed willing to cross between.

As much as Alex would love to hold a grudge, she was still a very logical person and surviving out here meant at least cooperation.Kara’s happiness meant at least an attempt at civility.

She’d see where they went from there.

Astra had given her a small but warm smile, the lines in her face much less pronounced now that they weren’t trying to kill each other and offered her hand.

“My niece has been telling me much about you.Thank you for taking care of her in my absence.”

Alex doesn’t comment on _why_ Astra was absent.She’s not that big of a jerk.

“It was my pleasure.”

At that Kassandra had snorted and risen to her feet in a move so graceful that Alex was a little jealous.

“Yes,” Kassandra says blithely, although she shuffles a little more than is warranted and is white knuckling the book in her hand. “I was unfortunately very privy to your…” a sneaky glance at Kara that has Kara’s face turning beet red, “pleasure.”

Which is when Alex learns about the _twin’s_ bond and the many lessons Astra has been giving them about mental blocks and filters for things that aren’t meant to be shared.

Alex isn’t traumatized by it.

Not at all.

After a lot of bumbling and some embarrassed apologies from Kara, the group had settled in for a nice if awkward conversation.Alex had been able to hear Astra’s full story and her respect for the woman had gone up significantly; her respect for Kassandra even more so.Brainwashing wasn’t a new concept, but it was considered one of the worst crimes in the Galaxy.Even if he’d lived, Mobius wouldn’t have ever seen the light of day for that charge alone.

The fact that the Witches were still out there was a sore spot that needed rectifying and Alex had said as much.Which had earned her a beaming smile and a kiss from Kara.Kassandra had shifted a little, the move so inconsequential Alex hadn’t really thought much of it until Kassandra had hesitantly inclined her chin.Like she’d forgotten that was a thing she could do.Like she wasn’t sure if her neck would support the weight.

When Kara only smiles and returns the gesture with a lot more confidence, Alex tucks her question in her back pocket and mimics it, prompting Kassandra to gently bump her head against her twin’s cheek and walk off.

Later Alex had learned that it was a show of respect; that Kassandra had shown her approval for Alex and thus Alex for her.

Unintentional but not untrue and Alex doesn’t regret it.

They’re nowhere near being cordial with each other but… in the end Kassandra had chosen them.It would be foolish to deny that she was instrumental in taking down Mobius and Alex had no designs on being a fool.So, much as she may not be comfortable with the idea, she realized that Kassandra was one of the good guys.

Mobius was the actual precipitator of Eliza’s death and he was dead.

Kara had given her the closure she’d needed on that at least.

And now all that was left were the Witches who were probably their last remaining real enemy.It gives Alex something else to focus on at least rather than seeing Kaznia on a battlefield strewn with people Alex had grown up with.

At least Kara is happy.Alex can let her girlfriend go to sleep with a smile on her face.

As soon as Alex had woken up the next morning, she’d started planning her and Kara’s home.Maggie had joined in but mostly for input on her own house she was going to be making with Kate.Her wife and J’onn had gone to a nearby village as ambassadors of a sort; let them know they were here and that they just wanted a life of peace.It was Maggie’s hope that she’d have something to show Kate when she got back.

And it’s probably because of Maggie that Lucy eventually surfaces, grumpy faced and kicking dirt as she tries to act like she’d been there the whole time.Alex just grins and asks her to start cutting wood and somehow, the three of them become architects.Architects who also take the time to lay Diana to rest finally.

Diana’s sword and shield, recovered by the locals of Naboo and stored on the Hawk, were stabbed into the dirt at the base of a grand tree overlooking a mountain.And their camp.

Kara had cried a bunch, but Alex had allowed Kas to be the one who consoled her.There was still a lot of trauma the twins needed to get through and Alex kind of wanted them to get through it together.If Eliza had been here, she’d agree.

Maybe.

And besides, there is also Cat to consider who hadn’t really strayed too far from either Winn _or_ Kara.Cat had cradled both Winn and Kara to her while Kas had squeezed Kara’s hand and looked very guilty about it all.Even though it had been _James_ and not her who had been Diana’s murderer.

They hadn’t had any memorabilia of Max and no one had really liked the guy, but Maggie had still etched his name into a tree.

For solidarity.

And then Lucy had the great idea to bury copies of some of Dox and Alex’s plans there as well.

So he’d have something to read.

Seemed fair.

After that affair had been taken care of, the trio also got a chance to talk out a lot of their crap.

There are a lot of apologies and, when Lucy admits how scared she’d been when Alex almost hadn’t made it, how Alex and Maggie were all she had left, they’d admittedly all cried and cracked open some of the rum Cat had smuggled onboard to get their shit back together.

“You’re my sisters.”Lucy had drunkenly admitted, head slouching on Maggie’s shoulder while Alex, apparently the one with the highest tolerance, had watched with amusement.“I never told you guys how much you meant to me cause I didn’t want you to leave but then you tried to leave anyway and I wanted to tell you.”

Maggie rolls her eyes.“We already know Lucy.You’re not very subtle.”

“Am so.”

“You cried when Jamie was born.Sent us like a million diapers.”

“Babies have to poop Maggie!”

“What about all of your “where you go, I go Cap” stuff?”Alex says fondly.“ _Obviously_ you love me.I’m very lovable.”

Lucy’s eyes water up again, and she lurches over the small fire pit they’ve dug, almost giving Alex a heart attack, to wrap Alex up in what she assumes is supposed to be a hug.

It’s much more accurately a choke hold.

“You are!You’re so lovable!I love you so much!”

When she squeezes, Alex has to question if it’s sarcasm.

By the time Kara had found them, they’d already been two hours passed a mess.

Kara had not been amused.

Astra had.

But through all that their bonds had only strengthened and with their help Alex had been able to, injuries and all, create this for Kara.

“ _Oh_.”Kara breathes as she takes in the sight before her.“Oh wow.It’s huge.”

Alex has to bite her tongue to keep the sex joke in and instead gestures to the large bathtub behind her.Or, more accurately, pool since it was very large.

Large enough to splash around in.

The grey stone tile had been made with Kassandra’s help, Kara’s sister more than willing to help create the gift with Alex.A form of penance if Alex has guessed correctly, and a bid to be nice to her sisters bondmate maybe.Her heat vision had been instrumental in creating the ceramic, and she been… pretty good company too.A little eager but Alex was just going to assume that was a family trait.

Kassandra, or Kas as Alex had learned she preferred to be called, had even taken it a step further and had somehow created a dye or paint that she could use to etch suns and stars into every other tile.

Each tile they’d created had been placed with care to create the floor, walls, and about a two foot radius going around the tub.

Which itself is about one and half times her height all around, square in shape and only a little over waist deep.In the very center of the floor is the actual tub in the shape of an oversized square and about the depth of a deep bath.The incline starting at the lip of the basin and gently sloping upwards so that, even if the user is sitting, the walls won’t feel like their closing in on them but rather going _away._

At least, Alex hopes Kara feels that way.She’d tried really hard not to recreate anything that would feel like a tight space.

Hence the ample lighting, potted vines growing along the walls, rain-like shower aperture in the ceiling.She’d designed the space to look as close to outdoors as possible, with some Kryptonian decals sprinkled in a la Kassandra.

Alex wanted Kara’s home to _feel_ like home _._

Having planned ahead for this occasion, Alex is more than a little gratified to see the amazement in Kara’s eyes as she watches the water reflect sunlight along the softly lapping ripples.There’s a small pump Alex and Dox had come up with to recycle the water as it comes which means the water is constantly being filtered and cleaned for other plumbing purposes like gardening and toilets.

After all, if it’s going to feel like home, Kara needs to not feel guilty about using it.

Also… Alex hadn’t wanted to be outdone.

“The sloped floor means that you can splash around as much as you’d like, and the water will just slip back in.And I added areas of traction, so you won’t slip and crack your skull open.”Alex slides a socked foot over the floor she’s standing on in demonstration.Then she points towards the ceiling at the skylights with solar absorption technology to power the house; _and_ privacy glass in case of perverts; _and_ anti-shatter technology in case of… life.So Alex was a little paranoid.Sue her.“And finally.Lots of sun.”

Kara’s smile isn’t big but somehow Alex feels like she’d just done the impossible.The way Kara is looking at her is _so_ soft it makes her insides turn to pure mush and she has to bite her lip to stop herself from doing something ridiculous.

Like giggling.

Stepping closer to Kara, Alex takes her hand and tries not to feel too ashamed when she can only look at dirt smudged nails rather than the expression that had made her heart pound.

“You asked me something before and I couldn’t answer you the way I wanted because I was kind of out of it.Can you ask me again?”

By necessity, she chances a look at Kara’s face and, although Kara is still giving her that _look,_ she also seems confused if the slight head tilt is anything to go by.It takes a remarkable amount of self-control for Alex to just not kiss her.

“What are you talking about?”

“On the ship.”Alex mumbles, idly scratching at the junction of her neck and shoulder where a barely healed pink scar now lives.“When you gave me this.”

And suddenly Kara’s eyes cloud and then get very very glassy.

“It won’t—I can’t change what I did Alex I—”

“I know,” Alex rushes to assure her.“That’s not what I want I promise.You can feel free to bite me in my sleep whenever you want just… ask me again.Please.”

“Alex,” Kara tries, glaring down at the floor and coughing when Alex’s name gets tangled in a whimper.She shakes her head before making a second attempt.“Alex, I have chosen you as my Zhao.Do you return this choice?”

“Always.”Alex says confidently and without any form of hesitation.And, if she steps closer to Kara, all the better.

“Yeah?”Kara asks looking up quickly, startled eyes latching onto Alex’s as if she’s actually surprised Alex had given that answer.As if she’s still not sure Alex would choose her over the Republic, and the war, and the Jedi, and the whole frickin Galaxy!

“Yes.”

Kara laughs wetly and reaches her hands up to cup Alex’s face between shaking palms.“I love you so much.”

“I know.”That’s said with confidence as well and, when Alex kisses her, swallowing Kara’s whimper of disbelief and ignoring the sting of nails along her face, she kisses her like she _knows_ Kara is the one for her because she does.She knows now.

But also, Alex thinks as she gently reaches for the hem of Kara’s shirt, fingers skirting over skin before tugging the garment over Kara’s head.This isn’t the only reason she’d brought her up here.

She kisses Kara’s nose and pulls off her own shirt.

“You’re beautiful.”She says and shimmy’s out of her pants and underwear, watching Kara’s eyes darken as she snaps off her socks and chest wraps.She leans back in and kisses her again, trailing from her lips to her chin to her ear.“I can’t believe I never told you that before.You’re absolutely perfect.”

“So are you.”Kara breathes, breath hitching when Alex tugs at _her_ pants next.

“Take these off.”

Finally, as if she’s coming out of a fog, Kara pauses and bites her bottom lip.“We’re supposed to be building a fence.”

“You can speed through that in no time.”Alex assures her, stepping towards the tub and walking backwards down the incline until the water is lapping at her knees. On this end, the slope leads directly into the pool, eliminating the wall in favor of convenience. “Come bathe with me.”

“Shouldn’t we do that after?”Kara asks, although the way her eyes are tracking Alex’s form, Alex doesn’t even believe _Kara_ cares about that.

“We can take more than one bath if you’re really worried about it.”

When Kara’s eyes narrow, Alex knows she’s been figured out.

Probably the pushiness.

She should have done something more naked.

Bounced.

“What’s your play here Commander?”

“It’s just…” Alex hedges, scratching at the new growth along the sides of her head as she tries to think of a way to word this without hurting Kara’s feelings.“I know we were conserving supplies and everything and we haven’t really had a lot of time for like, hygiene or—”

“Alex Danvers!Are you saying I stink?!”

“Yes.”

The way Kara rips off her pants is somehow both comical _and_ hot and when she leaps towards Alex, probably with the intent of an attack, Alex catches her around the waist, spins, and dunks her under the water.

Immediately a cloud of brown pools around her and, just as quickly, a team of nanobots clean said dirt up.

Kara rises from the water sputtering and trying to clear her eyes while Alex wades over to a deeper section so she can sit against a wall and rest.

“Can we hold off on the revenge plot?”Alex says as she sinks into the warm water with a heady sigh, tight muscles loosening a bit as she relaxes.“Like you pointed out, my body still hurts, and _you_ still love me.”

Kara glares at her and Alex holds out her hand.

“Please,” Alex requests softly, knowing how Kara responds to genuine emotion rather than teasing.“I’ve missed you so much.”

_That_ does it and Kara grumpily makes her way over to Alex, complying easily when Alex tugs her down to sit against her chest.

“I do _not_ stink.”

“It’s ok.”Alex says, cuddling Kara close and placing a small kiss behind her ear.“I stink too.”

“You do.”

“I love you.”

“You’d better.”Kara says and then tenses, her entire body going rigid right before she turns in her arms, looks at her with eyes so wide and blue that Alex’s chest aches.“What did you just say?”

Alex doesn’t even try to fight the smile; allows every good feeling she’s ever felt for this woman to bloom to life on her face.This was Kara and she was _everything_ and she deserved to know it.Alex wanted her to know it.

“I’m in love with you.”She repeats, reaching up to push thick ropes of wet hair away from Kara’s face.“You asked me that before too, but I didn’t… I can love you the way you deserve now.I **want** to love you the way you deserve now.”

When Kara only continues to stare at her with that dumbfounded expression, Alex feels her heartrate ratchet up but she’s not worried.

She’s got this.

_They’ve_ got this.

…right?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So a few things:
> 
> 1\. Kas will now be known as Kas or Kassandra if Kara is very mad.  
> 2\. Kas has not been forgiven by everyone, just her small family. She'll get there.  
> 3\. Alex is being pulled because Kas killed Eliza but also... brainwashed. Think Bucky Barnes and Tony ...fuck what's his name!?! Tony... Stark! Tony Stark!  
> 4\. Alex's small piece of meteor was in the shape of a sun. How lovely, Kara's been collecting stars and she finally gets something in return :)  
> 5\. Sorgan is my final nod to the Mandolorian. It's the planet where they tried to take shelter and met that lady that fights UFC I think? She's pretty cool. I like her acting. Everything is bio friendly because I want it to be. I love bio energy and if we're able to travel at hyper speed we can damn well get some green tech in there as well!  
> 6\. Alex makes Kara a tub and grudgingly decides Kas isn't bad and it made my heart soften and grow ten times that day.  
> 7\. Diana got her funeral. Kara got to cry. This is the after.  
> 8\. Lucy acknowledges her love for her friends.  
> 9\. Alex uses Hans Solo's "I know." line because COME ON it's Star Wars!  
> 10\. Then Alex tells Kara she loves her and... crickets. Lol, I'll leave that up to you guys to head canon but it was super fun to write it out and just leave it there. Still chuckling at Alex' expense.
> 
> And that's all the references I think I need to address? I'm open to any open ends you guys have questions about but I think I got everything? We'll see. Hope you guys enjoyed it and a very sincere thank you for sticking with me throughout this. I'm ready to let this one go now. It's been an awesome ride. I love you guys.
> 
> ~Chronicles


End file.
